277th Date:

[00:00:00] Speaker A: I would not equate being in a marriage to being in a prison, to being cap, being being held captive. Because to me, to me, at the end of the day, There was a point before 19 years that you figured out you didn't want to be there if it was such a negative prison for you. If it was such a negative space for you. Because mine sucked every year. But there was so much good that came out of my marriage. There was so much good in my marriage. There was so much I learned about myself in my marriage that makes me a better person going forward for the woman that is supposed to be for [00:00:41] Speaker B: me, I'm much more. I'm a better communicator now. I will say that I didn't say everything. [00:00:54] Speaker A: Welcome back to Relationship Stats. We are changing relationships one conversation at a time. It's your boy Yousef in the building. And remember, you can catch us on all podcast platforms. Remember to like share, follow and 5 star rate. If you want to join the conversation, hit us up. R E L S T A T podcast gmail.com Also, don't forget to check to to join the Patreon relationship status. I'm sorry patreon.com relationship status for all your content that you can't catch here on YouTube today is. I want to start off a little bit by talking about my experience this weekend at The Podcast Summit 2026 Podcast Summit. Very rarely do we get an opportunity to meet people that we look up to and have an opportunity to sit down and have in depth conversations with people like David Shans, OMAR L. TOORI, C.J. cORNELL. I want to say his name right, Carl Phillips. I really look up to Carl Phillips. [00:01:51] Speaker C: He's. [00:01:51] Speaker A: He's a whiz in the space of technology. When you're talking about cameras and lighting and audio equipment, I was able to have conversations with those people who are in the space and are making seven and eight figures. Six, seven and eight figures in podcasting. They're. They've done it and they continue to do it. One of my idols, I guess, you know, being in close proximity and age is difficult to say idol, but I had an opportunity to be. It's one of the things on my bucket list was going to. I don't like concerts, so I don't do concerts. So whatever concert you think you, whatever artist you would ever go pay, it didn't matter the amount of money you had to pay to go see this artist speak or I mean to perform. That's what I experienced this weekend when I went to and I Was had the opportunity to see. Had the opportunity to hear Eric Thomas speak in, like, in person. I was a few rows away from him. I was not far. I was a. It's. You could watch his videos on tv, but until you're in a room, you could feel the energy. It was 1500 people in the room, energetic. I. I was in there yelling, I can, I will, I must. By the time I left, like, I was. I was height by the time I left. That and it put a lot of things into perspective for me as an individual. When it comes to this thing, such as podcasting, I've always taken it serious. It's always been something I wanted to do, but it really put in my mindset to, yo, I really need to push this thing to the next level. Relationship status has been with you guys since 2019, and it's time for us to continue to push this thing forward. So had an amazing time. Shouts out to David Shands and the crew. Oh, shouts out to the behind the scenes guys. Somebody. My guy Ronzell. I want to give Ronzell a shout out. He runs the studio. He runs a creative club studio down in Atlanta, Georgia. Ronzell was willing to sit down and talk to me whenever I could. And whenever I had time, he had time. Sat down. We chopped it up. He always answers the phone. [00:03:53] Speaker C: So. [00:03:53] Speaker A: Shouts out to Ronzell over at the Creative Club, the Creatives club podcast studio down in Atlanta, Georgia. So now we going to get on to the show. Want to introduce my guests for today. We got first off, Angel. What's going on, Angel. Welcome back, everybody. [00:04:13] Speaker B: Hi. Thank you. Thank you. [00:04:14] Speaker A: You're welcome. And Chanel, she's back. Welcome back. Begrudgingly so hater. I'm not a hater. I'm just saying we, you know, we got a back and forth like, you know, whenever you on just know you. This is going to be once again, ladies, man, welcome back to the show. It's always fun to have you guys on. [00:04:35] Speaker C: Thank you. [00:04:36] Speaker B: Thank you for always. [00:04:37] Speaker A: It depends. [00:04:38] Speaker B: A lot of times don't start. [00:04:42] Speaker A: Start what? [00:04:42] Speaker C: Today being you, cuz all I can be is me. Well, sometimes we need you to tap into somebody else. [00:04:48] Speaker A: Maybe tomorrow, [00:04:52] Speaker C: maybe today. [00:04:53] Speaker A: No, maybe tomorrow. [00:04:54] Speaker C: Try today. [00:04:55] Speaker A: Hey, that was. That was on time. [00:04:57] Speaker B: Okay. [00:04:58] Speaker C: Maybe you need to try the crosses on your pants. Try Jesus. [00:05:01] Speaker A: Hey, listen, the Lord. See, don't start him. Don't. Come over here with your hymns now. Come over here with those hymns. [00:05:07] Speaker C: Try Jesus. [00:05:09] Speaker A: Oh, Lord Jesus. [00:05:10] Speaker B: He's all right. [00:05:13] Speaker A: We gonna do that today. [00:05:14] Speaker C: You need them. [00:05:18] Speaker A: Well, let's get into. Let's get into this first segment. Either or. Y' all know how it works. No fencing. No fencing. Pick a side, Ride with the side. [00:05:27] Speaker C: I got a new answer today. [00:05:30] Speaker A: Would you rather date one man seriously for two years and never get a ring or date five men casually for two years and leave them and leave with five vacations? [00:05:45] Speaker C: I need you to repeat the question. [00:05:46] Speaker A: Question is, would you rather date one man seriously for two years and never get a ring or date five men casually for two years and leave with five vacations? [00:06:02] Speaker C: I'm taking the five being casually because [00:06:06] Speaker B: dating is just dating and it's casual. So I like to travel, so I'm going on vacations. Where we going? [00:06:16] Speaker A: Okay. [00:06:16] Speaker C: Because if I'm being serious for two years and there has been no progression, I got a problem with that. Because you said serious. [00:06:24] Speaker A: Yeah, serious. [00:06:25] Speaker C: Yeah. But if I'm being casual, I can casually not do things that I don't want to do. [00:06:31] Speaker A: Okay. With these five guys on vacation. Because, you know, if you're getting flew out, you know what it is, right? [00:06:35] Speaker C: No, it ain't. [00:06:36] Speaker B: No, it's. You said casual. [00:06:39] Speaker A: Yeah. You going casually. [00:06:40] Speaker B: Casual. You said casual. [00:06:42] Speaker A: Okay. [00:06:43] Speaker C: All right, question. [00:06:44] Speaker A: Would you rather. [00:06:45] Speaker B: Maybe tomorrow, I'm outside. [00:06:47] Speaker A: Would you rather be the only woman he's talking to or be his favorite while he's talking to three others? [00:06:54] Speaker C: Be the only one he's talking to? [00:06:56] Speaker B: Wait, if I'm casually dating, the question is. [00:06:59] Speaker A: The question, would you rather is on its own. Would you rather be the only woman he's talking to or be his favorite while he's talking to three others? [00:07:08] Speaker C: I want to be the only one. [00:07:11] Speaker B: I'll be his favorite. [00:07:12] Speaker A: You'll be his favorite? [00:07:13] Speaker B: Yep. [00:07:16] Speaker A: Would you rather know. Would you rather know that your man has a roster or know that he has zero options besides you? [00:07:29] Speaker B: If he's my man, why would he have a roster? [00:07:31] Speaker A: Well, I mean, the guy that you're dating. [00:07:34] Speaker B: No, you said. [00:07:37] Speaker A: I'm sorry. If you're dating, would you rather the guy you're dating have a roster or it just be you? [00:07:44] Speaker B: What do you mean dating as. [00:07:45] Speaker C: See, that's. That's what complicates the question. Because we view things differently. Being my man, being somebody. [00:07:53] Speaker A: This is not your man you're dating. [00:07:54] Speaker C: Somebody I'm monogamous with. [00:07:56] Speaker A: You know, that's why I said I made a mistake. [00:07:58] Speaker B: Okay, all right. [00:08:00] Speaker A: Thing I said was I made a mistake. [00:08:01] Speaker B: Okay. [00:08:01] Speaker C: If I'm just dating him and it's not serious, we're just dating, I rather know he Has a roster. [00:08:09] Speaker B: Same. [00:08:10] Speaker A: Okay. All right. Would you rather marry someone who chose you after dating around or marry someone who waited years hoping that you would choose them? [00:08:22] Speaker C: I'd rather have somebody who dated around [00:08:25] Speaker A: because I ain't waiting, ain't got time. I ain't. Like for me, in this tender age that I'm at, it's going to be everything's going to be cool. Going to be cool, going to be cool, going to be cool until it ain't. And then the decision got to be made one way or the other because a little different. [00:08:47] Speaker C: Cuz see. Have you ever heard of that situation? My dad. I have brothers and I have four sons. And I've heard my dad say this to my brothers and to my sons about sowing their wild oats and having, you know, that experience of freedom and getting married too young and not, you know, experience life. I'd rather you get that out of your system of wanting to experience things before you choose instead of choosing. [00:09:13] Speaker A: No, I agree. [00:09:13] Speaker C: Waiting around, waiting for that one, and then you get that one and then decide, this ain't what I thought it was. [00:09:20] Speaker A: Well, I'm saying I agree with you. [00:09:22] Speaker C: I'm. [00:09:22] Speaker A: I'm agreeing on that, on that standpoint, because I don't think, like, all this waiting for you and chasing you and all of that, I ain't got it in me. I ain't got time. [00:09:30] Speaker B: Well, can I ask a question? [00:09:32] Speaker A: Go ahead. [00:09:32] Speaker B: As far as the. When you say chasing someone, what if they don't. What if they don't want to be chased? Like, what if they don't? [00:09:43] Speaker A: No. And if they don't want to be chased, they will tell me that and I will know to move accordingly and to move out the way. [00:09:53] Speaker B: Okay. [00:09:53] Speaker A: You know what I'm saying? If you're. When I'm saying chasing, it's. I'm speaking more to the sense of. That the communication isn't there and I don't. And I. And my decision to move on has been taken from me because you haven't communicated with me. [00:10:08] Speaker B: Right, right. [00:10:10] Speaker A: That's more so what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about somebody who's like, because you look good is chasing you down and all the time. [00:10:17] Speaker C: Right. [00:10:18] Speaker A: I'm not talking about that at all. I'm talking from the space of I'm courting you. And if you're. And if you just genuinely, this is not what you want to do. I am not what you want. Because I do believe this. Everybody wants to be single until they meet the person that doesn't want that. That till they meet the person that doesn't want them to. That doesn't make them want to be single anymore. [00:10:43] Speaker C: I agree. [00:10:44] Speaker A: You know what I'm saying? So apparently I'm not that person. If you don't want to not be single anymore. [00:10:49] Speaker C: Right. [00:10:51] Speaker A: So that means I need to move myself on to somebody who may. Or to continue to do what I'm doing until somebody does feel like I'm that. Until I'm getting that same energy back that I am putting out from the situation, whether I'm dating around or whatever. You know, everybody likes a date. Whether you got a roster, especially if you're dating multiple people, you have one of them is a person you really like being around and spending time with. And if that's the case, what's so difficult about just going, hey, man, let's lock in? [00:11:29] Speaker C: I think the difficult part comes in where sometimes the person that you want to lock in with hasn't actually shown that they want to lock in with you. [00:11:36] Speaker A: No, 100%. [00:11:38] Speaker B: Right? [00:11:38] Speaker A: 100, but that's my point. [00:11:41] Speaker C: But they are showing enough potential to say that they like you too. But that's where the waiting comes from. Where you see that they like you. You should. You see that they're showing characteristics of being that one, but they're not necessarily on the same level yet. [00:11:55] Speaker A: I need the address. [00:11:56] Speaker B: Right? Like, what if it's like, you have to get to that. That point? Like, some people move a little slower than some people like it. [00:12:06] Speaker A: But that's what I'm. I think that's. That's the. My point there is if we're communicating and we're talking and one person gets to a point and they go, okay, I can see something here. And if I'm your favorite person to hang out with and you're my favorite person to hang out with, why is it not. What is the pressure in exclusivity if the person is still allowing you to be you? [00:12:37] Speaker C: You know, we had a conversation. Maybe not the last. Well, it had been the last time I wanna do this twice. Okay. When we were talking about the girl doing too much or whatever. And I made a statement about sometimes. And I hate to blame men because women do it too. Where you start off in a relationship and it's like a honeymoon stage of all the extra calling and staying on the phone for hours and stuff like that, not realizing that this is the reason why the person likes you. This is the part that says, hey, I want somebody to be that attentive for Me be it because you didn't get that attention when you were a child or you didn't get it when you were in your first marriage or whatever it may be. But this is what I want. And they're being exactly what I want. They're being the mirror image of what I want right now in my life. But then it starts to fade away. [00:13:27] Speaker B: When they got you. Yeah, when they got. [00:13:30] Speaker C: So now I won't even say when they got you. It's just, I. I will give you. I'll paint this picture for you. You started. They always say Craig and Daddy, y'. [00:13:38] Speaker B: All. [00:13:38] Speaker C: Cause that my movie. But you started dating Craig, and three months after dating Craig, Craig was doing everything that you like. But now Craig feel like he's in the door, but he hasn't made a commitment. He's just in the door, in the doorway, but he hasn't made a commitment. But you're ready. So now you're putting all this pressure on Craig because you want Craig to commit to something that he hasn't necessarily said he's ready for, but he's showing that he's ready, but he hasn't said that he's ready. That's where we begin to wait as women, because we're waiting for you to say, hey, I actually want to make a commitment to you. I want you to be my woman. Because. Because we have been programmed to believe that men ask us for a relationship. Men ask us for our hand in marriage. Men ask us to be in a monogamous relationship. We have been programmed to believe that it is frowned upon when a woman gets on one knee and say, will you be my husband Doing that. [00:14:32] Speaker B: You know what I'm saying? We never want to assume. Like, I never want to assume anything. I need you to make it clear to me. I need you to say, this is what I want. This is what we're doing. This is where we're going. And then I won't have any questions because you already made it clear for me. There's no need for me to ask you a question. But I think, just like she said, like, if you're. If you're showing me all this stuff and you still haven't verbally said it, okay, Like, I need you to come out and say, this is. [00:15:02] Speaker A: See, that's the thing. I'm speaking from a point of someone who is communicating, being communicative with you. They're not. You're not. You're not. It's. I did say that. I said if a person is communicating with you, and they've gotten to that point, whether it's the woman or the man. And they've gotten to that point and they're like, yo, like, this is good. You know what I'm saying? Because I don't think. Here's what I don't think. I think if we're. If you're dating, first off, why are you dating, [00:15:31] Speaker B: right? [00:15:32] Speaker A: Because if you. If you're not ready to be in a relationship while you're dating, right? Because. Okay, like, if all you want is friendships, you can go have friendships in the beginning. But that's what I'm saying. Like, I. All right, you could state what you want to all day. All right? You can stay what you want to all day, every day. There still does not. Feelings happen no matter what you do. Because if I like spending time with you, that is a feeling. I'm enjoying you in a romantic sense. I don't. I. If that's the case, I might as well just high five you. We can go to the ball game, we can do whatever, and we just gonna be friends. If that's the case, then we don't need to do nothing else. We don't need to hug up. We don't need to lay up. We don't need to do. [00:16:20] Speaker C: Okay, I'm gonna say this, and this is the part that's gonna be very much unpopular. Women don't like to say this, but I can care less about how anybody feel about me because I do me. [00:16:30] Speaker A: Do you? [00:16:30] Speaker C: If I just want to you, I'm fine with saying I just want to you. [00:16:34] Speaker A: And I'm not. And I'm not. [00:16:35] Speaker C: Because we all, as women feel that way. But we don't want to put it on the front street, because after I'm done being that person and I actually want to be in a relationship, I don't want the world to know that I just wanted to him. Because now you ain't want to marry me because two years ago I was just. [00:16:50] Speaker A: No, but what I'm saying. And that's the point. [00:16:52] Speaker C: That's real. [00:16:53] Speaker A: But that's the point. That's what I'm saying. Like. [00:16:55] Speaker C: But I'm perfectly cool with just fucking and get out of here. [00:16:58] Speaker A: That's fine. [00:16:58] Speaker C: We can't even fuck at my house because I don't really like you like that. But that's the real that a lot of us as women do and are cool with. [00:17:05] Speaker A: I'm not saying don't want to marry us. [00:17:08] Speaker C: We all know we did that for three years. [00:17:09] Speaker A: No, but that's the thing. No, you can't say that you don't want to marry us. [00:17:12] Speaker C: Am I right or am I right? [00:17:13] Speaker A: You can't say that we don't want to marry you. But if you put me in a mindset that this. If you put me in a mindset that this is what you want, right? I always have. I have to make sure. I have to make sure that I [00:17:24] Speaker B: check myself a lot of times. [00:17:26] Speaker A: I always have to make sure that I check myself in a sense so that I don't catch those feelings for you. [00:17:34] Speaker C: Feelings is your problem. [00:17:39] Speaker A: But that's exactly what I'm saying. I have to make sure I check my feelings. And then if in fact it comes to a point where I start to get feelings, I need to go. So again, I'm cuz I'm outside of your parameter. [00:17:51] Speaker C: If I mutual. [00:17:52] Speaker A: I say, look, but people cannot. You cannot. You cannot tell me. Everybody you cannot tell. [00:17:57] Speaker C: I don't want a relationship. [00:17:58] Speaker A: Everybody does. Not people. Real people, if they have. You cannot control how someone makes you feel. Whether you say, it's just. If it's just. Now I'm looking at it in my. In my head and I go, if it's just don't. We don't talk on the phone. Only time we call. Hey, what you doing tonight? Nothing. All right, come over. I want to get some. That's just that we don't chill. We don't watch no movies, we don't go out to eat. We don't do none of that stuff. [00:18:23] Speaker C: TV only going to be background. [00:18:24] Speaker A: Exactly. What I'm. But what I'm talking. Talking about is not that. That's different. That's totally different than what I'm saying. [00:18:32] Speaker B: But what if you dislike hanging out with somebody? Like it just like how you have just like, like, hear me out. [00:18:40] Speaker A: Go ahead. But what I'm saying is. I understand. I don't lack understanding of what you're saying. What I'm saying. What I'm saying is if we like hanging out, that's cool. Yes, cool. And you don't want nothing romantically. That's what. That's what you said. I don't want to be in nothing monogamous. I don't want nothing. Right. Hold on. [00:19:03] Speaker C: I'm gonna let you talk this time. [00:19:06] Speaker A: Appreciate it. [00:19:06] Speaker B: Yeah. Let him get it out. Let him get it out. Let him get it. [00:19:08] Speaker A: If that's what you say, then. Then the romanticism in it needs to be taken out. [00:19:15] Speaker C: Right? Right. [00:19:16] Speaker A: They don't need to be no Good morning, beautifuls. You look Sexy. All this, like, all of that stuff has to be taken out of it so that feelings do not. If it's just a we casually dating, whatever, don't nobody need to stay in nobody house. [00:19:31] Speaker C: Right. [00:19:32] Speaker A: Don't nobody need to be laying up. Don't nobody need to. We can go out and have a good time. Yeah. We can go out to eat. We can go out, then I'll take you to dinner, we can go to the movies. We can go whatever and do whatever. But the romanticism in it needs to be taken out. The long conversations about nothing needs to be taken out of it. Because that's when people form connections. And that's the thing I'm saying, when a person form. Starts to form a connection, it's difficult to be like, yo, I'm starting to form something here. And so, like, for me, for example, if somebody tells me this, I try to communicate as much as I can, and then the second I feel like I'm starting to get something different, I got to check myself and I check myself and sometimes I check myself right on out. Because I know. Because I know that. Because I know, I know that you're [00:20:20] Speaker C: supposed to communicate that. And if you communicate. If you communicate that and say, hey, listen, I know we started out as just being homie lover, friends or whatever. [00:20:27] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:27] Speaker C: But I'm developing something else. [00:20:29] Speaker A: Yes. [00:20:30] Speaker C: So the best thing for me to do is just step away from being [00:20:33] Speaker A: clear with the communication. [00:20:34] Speaker C: Yeah. And they have to also understand that this can't continue. They can't get mad about it. And if they do, that's on them. [00:20:41] Speaker A: Okay. [00:20:42] Speaker C: And also, there's three sides of. You can start off with a relationship and saying, hey, this is what I want to happen out of this. I want a relationship. I want to one day get married. You know from the beginning that this is supposed to turn into something or I have no expectations. We're friends. If we become more, we become more. If it just becomes stagnant and we don't get nothing else but a good friendship, then fine, that's it. If we turn into fuck buddies, then so be it. But whatever it is, it is what it is. It's just freeform and we're not trying to look for anything. It is what it is. But. But if we start from the ground and say, hey, I just want some sex, you just want some sex, this is what we gonna do. I ain't trying to be your friend. I don't wanna know your business. I don't even care if you got somebody. I don't wanna know you. I just wanna be a part of the physical with you. And if it turns into some feelings, you take care of your feelings, I take care of my feelings, and that's it. Establish an understanding with that person. That's all I'm saying. [00:21:35] Speaker A: No, I agree with you. My point is. And then we'll move on. My point is this. Whether you establish an understanding, you establish an understanding, you've communicated your whatever. You're only in control of your feelings, your actions and what you do. [00:21:54] Speaker B: Right? True. [00:21:56] Speaker A: And the other person is in control of theirs, we hope. But the fact of the matter is, I don't think anyone can control when they get feelings. You may check yourself. You may go, oh, I can't do that. You may say these things, but you can't help how you feel about. If you don't like somebody, you can't help how. You can't help not liking somebody. [00:22:20] Speaker B: Right. [00:22:20] Speaker A: If you end up falling for somebody, you can't help falling for. You ain't never. You ain't never been like, you've been dealing with somebody or dating around, and then you just go, damn, like, I [00:22:31] Speaker C: want to hang out with her. [00:22:34] Speaker A: I want to hang out. I want to hang out with her today, man. I really want to hang out with him today. Or, you know what I'm saying? I'm really feeling that. You know, like, I'm really feeling them. And you go, oh, I should not. No, I should not be feeling them because I'm not what they want. And that's all I'm saying. Because I think for the right person, people change for them. They changed their thoughts, they changed their minds. At the podcast summit, CJ and David Shands was on stage, and they allowed some podcasters to interview them. And one of the ladies has a relationship podcast. I can't remember the name of it, but that's irrelevant at this moment. And she said, well, David, why did you get married? And David said, his story. The story that stuck out to me was CJ's. She said, well, CJ, why did you get married? He said, I never wanted to get married. He said, if you'd ask me, I never wanted to get married. He said, my wife made me want to get married. He was like, I was dating this chick and dating this chick in college and dating this chicken college. And they would all let me spend the night and all of that. And we'd be doing stuff and everything. And I met her, and she was beautiful. And he was like, first date, first time we went out, took her Back to her dorm room. He said, she said, he came up and they was hanging out. And he said, eight o' clock hit. She said, you got to get out. She said, I got an exam in the morning. You got to go. And I don't get down like that. You gotta go. He was like, he thought she was playing. Cause, hey, I'm up here, you know. Of course he was like, she was like, nah. She grabbed him by the arm and got him up out the chair. [00:24:13] Speaker B: She put a boundary on him and [00:24:14] Speaker A: walked him to the door. And he said as he walked out the door and that door closed behind him, he said, I'm gonna marry that woman. [00:24:21] Speaker B: Yeah. Cause she put a boundary on him, but that other women didn't. [00:24:24] Speaker A: And that's what I'm saying him, in his mind, I'm not getting married. I'm not getting married. I'm not getting married until he met the woman that made him want to get married. I think all of us run across those people or will. If you haven't, you will. And in that sense, you go, oh, everything I'm thinking, everything I'm feeling or everything I thought I wanted right now has just. Or what I didn't want right now has just changed into me saying, you know what? I need to explore this connection deeper. And I don't think that you can explore. I don't think that you can explore four and five and six different people equally, right? [00:25:08] Speaker C: I don't believe that either. [00:25:10] Speaker A: You can't do it equally because one person is going to get more attention, right? Or you're going to end up or you're going to end up right where you want to be. For some, some people don't want to be in nothing. So they're going to be right where they are. But I think that what happens when you're in that state is you're right where you want to be, which is not in a relationship. But there's a frequency of changing in the roster, right? [00:25:34] Speaker C: I have a friend of mine and I'm not going to go how she's my friend because I don't want to tell her business. But she's known this guy for two months and she married him two months, eight weeks. And they got married. She didn't tell her family or anything. And they are married. I mean, real life. This just happened a couple of weeks ago. Got married. [00:25:56] Speaker B: Oh my God. [00:25:56] Speaker C: And a few days ago I saw this tick tock with this woman. She said she works from home and she was showing the video that she works from Home. She said, I went to the bathroom, and when I came back from the bathroom, my husband had a glass of orange juice there, walked on the other side of the bed, and he had fixed me breakfast. She said, we've been married now for six months. But we got married after only knowing each other for five months. And everybody asked me, why would I marry him after five months? She said, because I don't have to ask. He does. He just does. She said, because he wants to be a husband. [00:26:34] Speaker B: Right. [00:26:34] Speaker C: I was already a wife. [00:26:36] Speaker B: Right. [00:26:37] Speaker C: But he wanted to be a husband, and I don't have to ask. Yeah, that makes you. You know, I mean, I get where you're coming from with that is. Because when you have. When you find that person that actually want to be in that position, it changes. I could never. In my mind, I could never marry somebody I've only known for eight weeks. [00:26:54] Speaker B: Eight weeks. To me, that is. [00:26:55] Speaker C: You know what I'm saying? But she is happy. [00:26:57] Speaker B: I can't even commit to a hairstyle. [00:26:59] Speaker C: I said that. Yeah, I seen that video. She said, that's exactly how I change my hair. [00:27:04] Speaker A: Okay, so question. [00:27:05] Speaker B: I got a different hair. [00:27:06] Speaker A: So question is this from your standpoint? Is there something wrong with her? [00:27:12] Speaker C: When she first told me that she was gonna marry this guy, I was like, girl, you got kids? Yeah. So you got keys? [00:27:21] Speaker A: Well, how long are we. How long are we waiting? [00:27:25] Speaker C: That's the thing. I mean, that was my mindset. And to a certain degree, that's still my mindset that so we instantly jump into. [00:27:32] Speaker A: So here's what I can't do and I refuse to do as a person when. When seeking a mate, especially in it. Where I'm. Especially now in my life, I refuse to believe the negative. I refuse to let the negative invade my space at. For any reason. If I didn't talk to you today, it's possible because you were busy, you wasn't with no other man. [00:28:02] Speaker B: Do you mean, like, if you're in a relationship with this person, even if [00:28:06] Speaker A: we're dating, even if you're with somebody, if we're dating and I know you're dating somebody else, it don't bother me that you're dating somebody else? Negativity does. Jealousy does not fit my. My mold. So I don't think. I don't think negatively. I don't. I don't go. Because, like, for me to say, yo, I'm not gonna get in a relationship, I. I'm feeling this person. I want to go to the next step with this person. I want to go towards a relationship with this person. But I don't know him. We don't know anybody. There's people who been with people 20 years and then they turn around, shot them in the kids. [00:28:36] Speaker C: Yep, you're right. [00:28:39] Speaker A: You know what I'm saying? So we don't never know. We don't never know anybody. All we could do is have faith that God has put this person in our path. If this person is. If this person is showing you their intention. [00:28:51] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:28:52] Speaker A: And. And whatever else it is. Because, like I said, I said this to somebody. I was on a podcast. I recorded my podcast in Atlanta. I recorded Racial Status in Atlanta Friday. And my cousin was on. And me and my cousin the same age, and she was like, well, you know, she said. I forget what she said. She said something about age and. And I don't know this person, and I don't know that person. It's going to take some time. She said, it's gonna be at least two, three years before this, that and the third. And I'm like, that's cool. In your 20s, but I would like. I would like to see. I said, but when you start doing it, if you consistently waiting to see the good in somebody or waiting to see if something bad. I'm sorry. Waiting to see if something bad happens or you're looking for red flags, you're looking for this, you're looking for that. You're gonna turn around and be 60 and still single. And ain't nothing cool about swinging on the rock in a rocking chair on the porch at 70 single or 80 single, ain't nothing cool about that. So now what are we doing if we're in our 40s? And I'm not saying that you got to settle for anything. I'm not saying none of that. I'm not even an advocate for you. If. If you want to be single for the rest of your life, that's your prerogative. That's your ministry. It ain't mine. I don't want to be single for the rest of my life. I don't want to sit here and be wondering what the hell I'm. What the hell I'm gonna be doing. That's not my ministry. And that's not saying I want to be in something tomorrow. But if I'm feeling something, I' ma say something. And if it ain't for you, it ain't for you, then I need to be out and be okay with me being out. [00:30:25] Speaker B: Can I. Can I ask you. I'm gonna ask both of y' all this question how you said all three of us have been divorced, right? How long were you married before you got divorced? [00:30:34] Speaker C: Three years. [00:30:35] Speaker B: How long were you married before you got a divorce? [00:30:37] Speaker A: Three years. [00:30:37] Speaker B: Three years. I was married for 19 years before I got a divorce. Listen at this. I feel like I did a bid. I'm not gonna lie. I feel like I did a bid and it's kind of like after it was over, it was like a, you know, like you feel like something is heavy weighing on you and then when you get a release from it, you're kind of like, like you just need a woo side moment until like I don't care what anybody say. 19 years is a very, very long, very long time. If it was. And I'm, and I'm not discounting how many. Cuz when you're married, you're married. And I'm not discounting how many how long that the both of you have been married. But 19 year. I was with him from 20 years of my life doing cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, doing all that. And then when my kids got older and I got a divorce, it was kind of like a. Like I don't have to cook today if I don't want to or I don't have to worry about if somebody's homework is done. I don't have to worry about washing my husband's clothes a day because he got to do like now just kind of like a, like I'm free and not saying that for the rest of my life. I want to be that way. But for now it feels good to be in this space because I don't have all these responsibilities that I had for 20 years of my life. Like that is a very long time doing stuff repetitive. 20 years, come on. That's just, that's, that's a lot. Moving from state to state doing it. It was just so much. And it's like the weight has feel like it's been lifted off and I just like, I need a minute, I need a. I understand that that's. That is a very long time. [00:32:41] Speaker A: My thing with. It's the. For me, my marriage is only three years, but we weren't supposed to be married in the first place. Just from the beginning, we shouldn't have been married. And both of us have. I've said it on the show for the last six years. Both of us have said it repeatedly. We even joke about it now. Shouldn't have been married. Not even close to being married. Even in that I would not equate Or I would not compare. Not compare. What's the word I'm looking for? It's not compare. It's called. Basically. I would not make it seem as though I would not equate being in a marriage to being in a prison, to being cap. Being Being held captive. Because to me. To me, at the end of the day, There was a point before 19 years that you figured out you didn't want to be there if it was such a negative prison for you, if it was such a negative space for you, because mine sucked every year. But there was so much good that came out of my marriage. There was so much good in my marriage. There was so much I learned about myself in my marriage that makes me a better person going forward for the woman that is supposed to be for me. [00:34:09] Speaker B: I'm much more. I'm a better communicator. Now, I will say I didn't say everything. I. I'm not saying that everything. [00:34:18] Speaker A: It's not just you. It's not just you, because I've heard other people say it. Yeah, ball and chain or anything that equates to being put in this prism. Your marriage does not have to be something that you're held captive to. It shouldn't be. It should be two people that are pouring into each other trying to make something work. And if, in fact, that you in your mind are starting to say that I'm in this prison, or you're saying that, hey, I had to wash his clothes, and this, that, and the third, and the routine, and the routine was a thing and everything else, that these things that you feel like you don't want to get back into, shoot the next person that you with or. Or whenever that happens, that's just something you're not going to do. Hey, I ain't washing no grown man clothes. He got to be okay with that. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's. It's. It's a way to be communicative about that. But I just. The only thing I could say, because I can't speak for your experience in your marriage. Nobody can. Only thing that I take issue with is calling it is. [00:35:15] Speaker B: Is. [00:35:15] Speaker A: Is making the analogy. That's what it is. Is making the analogy of. Of marriage. And it's anybody who does it like people who get a divorce and then have a party like you. Okay, now what? Now what? You're gonna do what? So now you're gonna screw everybody else over for the rest of your life because you don't want to be. Because this. Because this person did something to you that I didn't do, and I'm a good person, or that person that you're dealing with is a good person. So now you go, okay, getting paid, getting. Having to. I always say, don't let me pay the bill. I didn't run up, right? I didn't do nothing to you. And I treat you like somebody, right? But because. But because of the negative experiences that you've had before me, now we got this waiting period. Now I gotta wait six, seven months. Now I gotta wait eight months. Now I gotta wait a year. Now I gotta wait 10, two years. [00:36:08] Speaker B: If you choose not to, you don't have to. [00:36:10] Speaker A: Oh, no, no, no, no. Me, I'm speaking generally me personally, I'll be out before that, right? [00:36:17] Speaker B: You don't have to. [00:36:18] Speaker A: I'll be out before that. And, and because for me, for me, I know what I. I know what I am very confident in who I am very confident in what I'm bringing it when, not when I bring. Because I don't like that bring to the table nonsense. I'm very confident in how I treat people. I don't treat you like crap. I don't. I don't cuss you out. We go out, you know, I wear my pan, all that, like, all that stuff. I make sure that the person that I'm dealing with is taken care of in any sense. If I'm cook, I call a. Want something to eat. You, you're always welcome to come over if you want something to eat, because I'm into you and I'm. And I'm letting you know that I'm into you. So if that is not. So if that is not a place that you want to be, then that's cool with me. I'm. I'mma carry on, carry on, carry on until I can't. And then when I can't, then I'll go ahead and. And then I'mma communicate. Hey, look, is this, Is this a possibility? Going somewhere? No. Okay, cool. [00:37:28] Speaker C: Strangle ons that don't communicate that it's not going anywhere. They don't say, you know, what they want out of the situations. It's like we just gonna keep going on these dates until you decide you don't want to go no more. Like, what are we doing? [00:37:43] Speaker A: But you see what I'm saying? Like, why are we continuously going on dates with no end in sight? Yeah, there's no end in sight. We're just. It's like randomly paying a bill right into oblivion. [00:37:56] Speaker B: Communicated. Yeah, communicated. [00:37:58] Speaker A: Because even A mortgage. You have an end date to pay your last payment, right? So maybe, okay, so maybe in the communication, it's got to be okay, we're going to date for six months and then see what happens. [00:38:10] Speaker C: And see, I don't be liking to say this because if you say anything about dating Chanel on this podcast, I, I. [00:38:18] Speaker A: You brought it up. I didn't. You brought it up. I didn't. I didn't. I did not. [00:38:24] Speaker C: You mentioned Chanel. It's gonna be called ruining. [00:38:28] Speaker A: We have a. We have a commercial break. Real quick. Hey, y' all from relationship Status podcast. We're starting the dating Chanel in the, in the description. You'll find a link. You'll find a link, too. [00:38:43] Speaker C: Commercial break, too. It's called trying to figure out how we going to get used to some more shorts. Because the ones he currently wear don't fit. [00:38:53] Speaker A: They do fit. [00:38:54] Speaker C: No, they don't. [00:38:54] Speaker A: They do fit. [00:38:55] Speaker C: I need you to zoom in on these shorts. [00:38:57] Speaker A: He can zoom in on the shorts. [00:38:58] Speaker C: I need you to bring the camera [00:38:59] Speaker B: down a little because I promise you that's insane. [00:39:03] Speaker C: This hoochie daddy shorts be hoochie. And I swear. [00:39:06] Speaker B: Hoochie daddy shorts. [00:39:07] Speaker C: Listen, this hoochie daddy shorts be hoochie. [00:39:09] Speaker B: I am a. A fan of. [00:39:10] Speaker C: But at least he, at least he grees them knees good. [00:39:15] Speaker B: I'm a fan. [00:39:15] Speaker C: He be greasing them knees now since we over here playing. [00:39:19] Speaker B: Especially if you have here playing. Cuz I'm telling you, I am a fan of them shorts. [00:39:25] Speaker C: Going to run $9.99. [00:39:26] Speaker B: If you have nice legs. See if you have nice. Like I am a fan of Fuji [00:39:32] Speaker A: D. Lucky I ain't got my toes out. [00:39:33] Speaker B: Everybody can plan. [00:39:36] Speaker C: Look at him keep on getting shorts on the bottom with his biker shorts showing on the bottom that ain't multicolored. [00:39:46] Speaker A: Don't do that. [00:39:48] Speaker C: He forever be coming for me. But what I was trying to say. I don't forgot. What I was trying to say. I don't forgot. We gonna move right along. [00:39:56] Speaker B: Next question. [00:39:57] Speaker A: Oh, the last one. The last one. All right. Because I think we've run out of time last with this, this show. We did not get to the topic. Last one. Would you rather find out your partner entertained 10 people before becoming exclusive or find out they settled because they got tired of dating? [00:40:19] Speaker C: You know what? [00:40:19] Speaker B: I don't want anybody to settle with me because it's. Don't do that. But settled. [00:40:26] Speaker C: I mean, what does that really mean, though, settled? Because honestly, I feel like it's kind of like we all settle. [00:40:32] Speaker B: It's kind of like, I feel like when you settle, it's kind of like when you go shopping for something and you went to get exactly what you wanted and then they didn't have it and it was like the next best thing, you'd be like, oh, well, I'll just get this. Because they don't have that. [00:40:45] Speaker C: Right. [00:40:45] Speaker B: But you're not going to love it as much because that's not what you went. You're going to be like, oh God. Like they didn't have what I was looking for. Like I'm a. Because I do that. And then when I get it, I'm like, yeah, I' ma just do what I got to do to make it work. Like it's not, it's not what I wanted. But here we are. [00:41:05] Speaker A: Here we are. [00:41:06] Speaker B: Yeah, I know. [00:41:07] Speaker C: But you learn to love it. [00:41:08] Speaker B: Yeah. Sometimes. Because I've gotten pair of shoes and I'm like, you know what? I just wore them one time and in the bottom of my closet. I settled because I needed something that day and now I don't even know where the shoes at because I just settled on. Don't, don't tell me you settle for me. [00:41:25] Speaker C: But I mean, I don't, I don't want to know. [00:41:29] Speaker B: Yeah, don't tell me. [00:41:30] Speaker C: Yeah, I don't want to know. [00:41:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:41:32] Speaker C: Cuz the question is, do you want to know? Yeah, I don't. [00:41:35] Speaker B: No, I don't want to know. I want to know. I don't want to know the first one. [00:41:39] Speaker A: Well, no, it's the second one. Find out. Find out your partner entertained 10 people before becoming exclusive or find out they settled because you got tired of dating. So y' all going with the first one. Find out your partner entertain 10 people before becoming excited. Exclusive. That's what y' all are choosing. [00:41:54] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:41:55] Speaker C: Okay. [00:41:55] Speaker A: All right. [00:41:56] Speaker B: Yeah, tell me you settle for me before. [00:42:01] Speaker A: Okay. So do you think that women are waiting to be chosen? [00:42:05] Speaker C: I think so. [00:42:08] Speaker B: I'm. You know what I really feel like? I'm like, I don't take this the wrong way cuz I'm a woman in real life, everybody like, I, I had kids. Everybody show like I had kids. I really feel like some imma blame my male cousins for this. And they've told me they was like, sometimes you act like a dude. [00:42:26] Speaker C: I get that all the time. [00:42:27] Speaker B: They was like, sometimes you act like a dude. [00:42:29] Speaker A: I can see that. [00:42:29] Speaker B: Because I don't want, like if I don't, I'm not sitting here waiting for nobody to choose me. What? [00:42:36] Speaker C: The reason why. The reason why I say we are is because, like I said in the beginning, we have been programmed to believe that we're not supposed to initiate relationships. [00:42:46] Speaker A: Yeah. Cause that's what I was gonna bring up. The Prince Charming effect. [00:42:48] Speaker C: Yeah. We're not. [00:42:49] Speaker A: You're supposed to wa. [00:42:50] Speaker C: But then, like, like, you. I get that all the time, that I'm so overly aggressive. [00:42:55] Speaker B: And I'm like, I'm not like a man. [00:42:56] Speaker C: I'm not aggressive. I'm not aggressive to the men I want, [00:43:01] Speaker B: but I'm not. [00:43:03] Speaker C: Hush, hush. [00:43:04] Speaker B: Your face. You didn't even say that. [00:43:06] Speaker C: Your face said. [00:43:07] Speaker A: I didn't say it. [00:43:07] Speaker B: I'm not sitting here waiting for anybody to choose. [00:43:10] Speaker C: And I'm. I'm. Seriously. After I've been talking to a guy for a month, I'm clear to be like, so what we doing? Because I ain't about to sit here. I ain't about to sit here, play these games with you. I'll be on to the dates real quick. [00:43:21] Speaker B: What is wrong? What's wrong with me? [00:43:24] Speaker A: I feel you on that. I feel you. That's me. [00:43:27] Speaker C: If I'm going on dates with you for a month and I've been talking on the phone with you every day and you ain't telling me what you want, I'd be quitting. Like, bruh. Yeah. I say it like that. Bruh. [00:43:37] Speaker B: I don't ask. Maybe something is wrong with me. [00:43:40] Speaker C: I'm a whole. Say that word on the podcast. I would. I'll be a whole dude. [00:43:45] Speaker B: Yeah. Like doing. [00:43:47] Speaker C: Because I ain't got time to keep doing this with you. If we ain't going nowhere, if it ain't going. [00:43:51] Speaker B: You don't want. But what if you're in a space where you don't want something to go, [00:43:55] Speaker C: then you wasting my time on somebody [00:43:58] Speaker B: that wants something, and that's okay. But what if you communicated that to somebody? What if in the beginning, he said both of y' all was like, you're not looking for anything? [00:44:07] Speaker C: But, no, I already communicated when I first started talking to you. This is what I want. This is the end game for me. I want a relationship. I want companionship. I want somebody that I can have around my family. If you ain't trying to do XYZ in the next coming months, then don't waste my time. I ain't want to talk to you that bad. I got folks I can talk to. I ain't want to talk to. [00:44:24] Speaker B: Right. But if. But that's like a conversation. Y' all had. But what if he. What if you still like hanging out [00:44:30] Speaker C: with this person and he already knew what I wanted. [00:44:32] Speaker B: He already knew what you wanted, then [00:44:34] Speaker C: obviously you wanted more. So you got a good four weeks to continue. [00:44:37] Speaker B: Not four weeks. [00:44:38] Speaker C: And if you ain't doing what you supposed to do and you ain't doing what you supposed to do, then, yeah, it's done. Yeah, you got. [00:44:45] Speaker B: I don't ask, man, that. Maybe something is wrong with me. I'm gonna call my therapist tomorrow. Maybe I need some more couch time. Cuz I don't ask any. I don't like, hey, you know we've been going on. I'm like. Because sometimes this is so mean to me. Sometimes I don't care. Like I feel like I don't care enough. I don't know where that comes from. I don't know where that place is. But sometime, excuse my French, I don't give a. Enough. [00:45:12] Speaker C: But do you want a relationship, though? [00:45:14] Speaker B: No. [00:45:14] Speaker C: So that's why you don't care? [00:45:16] Speaker B: Not right now. Yeah, not right now. That's why I'm not saying that ever. But like, right now, in the space I'm in, I don't. [00:45:24] Speaker C: So that's the difference in the reason why I asked. [00:45:26] Speaker B: And again, I don't have. [00:45:27] Speaker C: Why you're saying I don't ask is because in that time frame that I'm giving them, you're like, okay, we can keep talking for the next six months. It don't bother me because I'm probably. You're probably talking to somebody else anyway. [00:45:36] Speaker B: Yeah, it don't bother me. [00:45:37] Speaker C: Yeah, well, I don't. I don't do that if I'm talking to somebody. I'm giving them my attention because I'm trying to see where it goes. So I'm not going to give you six months because I'm probably could have been talking to somebody else. Craig could have been talking to Craig. But I'm over here talking to you, and you ain't going nowhere. So I want you out of the way because I might be missing on somebody who could actually be my person. [00:45:57] Speaker B: Right? And I'm not saying again, I'm not saying that ever in life that I don't want a relationship. But right now where I am, I just don't. I don't. I don't feel like I have the mental capacity to take on somebody else's stuff. [00:46:14] Speaker C: Right? [00:46:14] Speaker B: And me to. For somebody to upload their stuff with me and then me download, there's that. I don't have the mental capacity Right. Not right now. I'm not saying forever. [00:46:25] Speaker C: Right. [00:46:26] Speaker B: If I. If I get married, if it's meant for me to be married again, it's going to happen. I always say, God, whatever you have for me, it will come. And I feel like in his time, Okay, I. I feel like it's going to come, but right now, I just don't. I don't have it in me. [00:46:47] Speaker C: And it makes sense considering what you said you've been through and your freedom right now. [00:46:51] Speaker B: Yes, I don't have it in me right now. Do I like hanging out? Do I like going on dates here? That. Yeah, but anything. Like, I don't wanna. I don't wanna have to answer to anybody. I don't wanna be up like, hey, I called you while you answer the phone. [00:47:07] Speaker C: You should feel. He feels left out. [00:47:09] Speaker B: Oh, I'm sorry. [00:47:10] Speaker C: And stuff. [00:47:10] Speaker B: He's. Sugar. [00:47:11] Speaker C: Yeah, it's all right. Shiny. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. [00:47:15] Speaker A: Because I had this conversation with a guy friend of mine. I told him he was full of shit. [00:47:24] Speaker B: Wow. Wow. [00:47:30] Speaker A: Because you're doing what you want to do at the expense of other people at the end of the day, because you're saying, I don't want to do this. I don't want to be in anything right now. [00:47:43] Speaker B: Right, right. [00:47:45] Speaker A: So saying right now, by adding the words right now, the persons or person, the person or persons you're having dates and everything with, in their mind, it's, oh, not today, maybe tomorrow, maybe next month, maybe the month after that, maybe the next year. Convince you in time, or maybe over time, there's a possibility that you'll be ready. But for you, there's not a possibility because you've been in prison for 19 years. So at the end of the day, giving people hope, you're snatching whatever it is because you're giving them hope that something could happen. And really and truly, they're just not the person that you want something to happen with because of what you've gone through and how that person has affected you. It's the right now that I have that I take issue with, with people that I have had these conversations with. My friend that I talk to. This was like a couple weeks ago. This wasn't recent, but it was a couple weeks ago. I told him. He's full of, like, stop stringing people along by saying right now, because right now keeps that person locked in. Like, oh, yeah, we could, man, I could keep this up for. For now. You know what I'm saying? Knowing that at some at the end of the rainbow, there's a possibility. But if there's no possibility, like, if you're. If you're in a. In a position because you know and you know and I know that when you're dealing with a person, you know, if you could deal with that person on that level or not, if it was to go somewhere, you know, whether you could deal with that person or not, there's some people that you just go out on a date with, and you'd be like, oh, this is cool. You all right? I know I can't get into nothing with this person. I know I ain't gonna have sex with this person. I know I ain't going. This. This person is just good. This person is good to go catch drinks with. This person is good to go eat dinner with. This person is good to go on trips with because they're going to have a good time, they're going to go on excursions, they're going to do this. You have people that. You put these people that you're dealing with in different realms, right? But to tell all of them not right now is giving, because I don't care what nobody say. Nobody's there to date into infinity. People are there because they're having a good time. And yes, not for right now, but if you don't want to be in a relationship, I would almost prefer. And I think people are old. This. I don't want to be in a relationship. Leave off the right now, because now if that person stays, they're staying with this. Okay, she didn't want a relationship at all. I'm good with that. The right now is what continues to give the person hope. Or. Or my favorite one. Well, let's just see how it goes. Let's just see where it goes. I think it ends up giving. I think it ends up giving people hope that things could happen. And hope is the worst drug on the planet. And it keeps people locked in, especially if you're a good person and a dope person to be around, because if you weren't, they wouldn't continue to be like, hey, you want to do this? Hey, you want to do that? Hey, call you all the time, text you all the time because you're. They vibe with you. You know what I'm saying? And it's like, don't just leave off that end part. I don't want to be in. I don't want to be in a relationship. Leave the right now up to you. Because now if things change for you, then they change for you. And then you are now in control of the situation. And now you can have that conversation. And now you even have more control over telling them, hey, I told you I didn't want a relationship. You know what I'm saying? And not. Well, you did say you, you did say that, but you said not right now. So when is right now? Because that's the next question. And then you don't even have an answer to that, so why put yourself through that? [00:51:27] Speaker B: Because you don't know. [00:51:29] Speaker A: Exactly. So then just leave it off. [00:51:32] Speaker B: But why? [00:51:33] Speaker A: If for all the reasons I just [00:51:35] Speaker B: said, if that's the way I want to word it, who is somebody to tell me what not to say when that's how I feel? You just say you don't have control. Nobody has control of their feelings. Their feelings. So if I say, hey, this is not what I want right now, that's. I'm standing on that. I don't want it right now. But if you cannot deal with my right now, walk. Leave me alone. [00:52:01] Speaker A: Oh, and that's just fine, right? [00:52:03] Speaker B: Just leave. If you cannot deal with what I'm [00:52:05] Speaker A: saying, you're missing the point of what I'm saying. But I mean, you're missing the point and what I'm saying. And this is not. This is. You're just a representation of people who say this, huh? I think especially when you're dealing with matters of the heart, especially when you're dealing with people, you say, if you. This is the way I want to word it. I don't care how you feel about how I word something. And you're right. Can nobody tell you what to say? But when you're dealing with people, words matter. And you can't. You can if you want to, but we should be very careful about the words that we say because there is a person on the opposite end of what you're saying. And what you say is some. Most of the time different than what people hear. And I think that that's why people. You know, I've had issues. I over communicate. Yeah, I might talk too much. I'm. I'm. But I'm making sure that I try to be clear and try to make sure that you have an understanding of where I am, because I don't want it to be no misunderstanding. And I just think that words. I'm really big on the fact that words matter. Especially when you're dealing with matters of the heart, especially when you're dealing with relationships, friendships, you know, being a parent, your words matter. Whatever you tell your child this is it. You know what I'm saying? If you know. If you know for a fact that you're not buying that boy of PlayStation 5, you know that, don't tell him I'm not buying you one right now. In his mind, next month. Next month. I'm asking you next month. And then my ex again the month after that. If you leave off the right now, it leaves out conversation that you really don't want to have right now. Until. So now. You now control the narrative, and you now control whether you're frustrated with people continuously asking you, hey, what about now? Hey, what about now? Okay, how you feel this week? You see what I'm saying? And that's just. [00:53:55] Speaker B: You have to agree to disagree. So I'm gonna just leave that alone. [00:53:59] Speaker A: Agree to disagree. And our time is up. [00:54:02] Speaker B: Yep. [00:54:04] Speaker A: Got to know parts of the topic, but not to know parts of today's topic. But at the end of the day, that's what it is. [00:54:13] Speaker C: Part two. [00:54:14] Speaker A: Yes. Chanel, thank you for coming on. I appreciate you coming and being a guest of the show. I really appreciate you. Let the people know where they can find you at. [00:54:24] Speaker C: I'm actually revamping my Instagram to Nelly Pooh Speaks. You can find me there. And on kimi pot on YouTube, Instagram, and Spotify. [00:54:36] Speaker A: Do that again. Do it again. [00:54:38] Speaker C: I'm actually revamping my Instagram to Nelly Pooh Speaks, and you can find me on kimi pot on YouTube, Spotify, and Instagram. [00:54:47] Speaker A: Okay. And once again, thank you for being on ma'. Am. [00:54:52] Speaker B: You're welcome. Even though I feel like. Okay. [00:54:55] Speaker A: Even though you feel like what? [00:54:56] Speaker B: Nothing. [00:54:57] Speaker A: You about to say something? [00:54:58] Speaker B: No. [00:54:58] Speaker A: Say what you're gonna say. [00:54:59] Speaker B: Nope. We are fine. [00:55:01] Speaker A: Say what you gonna say. [00:55:02] Speaker B: No. [00:55:03] Speaker A: Okay. All right. You just said it. I'll just run back the tape. All right. I'm just gonna run back the tape. I. I'll have to edit. I'm gonna listen to it because you said it in the mic. I just didn't catch it. But anyway, tell the people how they can find you. [00:55:16] Speaker B: You can find me on Facebook at Chrissy Solomon. Chrissy is C, R, I S S Y and instagram at a chrissy22. [00:55:28] Speaker A: And where can Chanel's people find you? [00:55:31] Speaker C: See [00:55:34] Speaker B: as the hell [00:55:39] Speaker C: you can find [00:55:40] Speaker B: them hoochie daddy shorts not she in. [00:55:43] Speaker C: Oh, no, no, no. [00:55:44] Speaker A: I don't. I don't do that. [00:55:50] Speaker B: People can find me. First of all, why you trying to out me like that? [00:55:55] Speaker A: Like you get Facebook. [00:55:56] Speaker C: I'm just saying that's where you can find them at. You find them on discount. They might be on TikTok to find them. [00:56:03] Speaker A: Oh, no, this is. This is Ross finest. [00:56:07] Speaker C: Well, they only had two pair. [00:56:10] Speaker A: They did have one in each size. I saw it. But once again, man, thank you for joining the show. You can find me on instagram @the9th wonder. That's usually the only place I am. Oh, and on Facebook at Yoshi English, make sure to join the Facebook group relationship status podcast advice group. You do have to be accepted in. So go click on it, fill out the application and let us know. It'll give us an alert and we'll let you in. Don't forget to join us on Patreon relationship status. I'm sorry, patreon.com backslash relationship status. And if you want to join the conversation, email us. R E L S T A T podcast gmail.com. we're going to be doing a Facebook Live soon, so wait for that date to drop. We are also book club. We are now doing the book Sparks in the Moment. Seduction in Red, White and Blue by Jerry Hines. That is the next book we are reading. Go ahead and join the book club. It is totally free on patreon relationship status. Patreon.com relationship status and just go ahead and join the book club so we could get to this conversation. I've read the first few pages. Really good book so far. Until the next time, y', all, my name Yusuf in the building. We are out. Peace, [00:57:25] Speaker C: Sam.