289th Date: Why Do They Change AFTER They Lose You?!

[00:00:00] Speaker A: All right, before we get into today's conversation, I need everybody to listen up. We are officially on the road to 500. That's right. Trying to get the Relationship Status podcast to 500 YouTube subscribers. And we're giving somebody a chance to win 100 gas card and an official Relationship Status Podcast T shirt. We're running this campaign for 14 days, and we need the entire Relationship Status family to help us grow. Here's what I need you to do. Head over to YouTube, subscribe to Relationship Status Podcast, watch our latest episode, and answer the giveaway question in the comments. Make sure you follow the official giveaway instructions so your entry counts. Y' all know how expensive gas is. It's a hundred dollars you can put in your tank. Instead of asking somebody you're dating to cash app you to gas money, share the channel with your friends, your family, your co workers, and, yes, even that ex who still watches everything you do on social media. [00:00:58] Speaker B: That was shady as. [00:01:00] Speaker C: That was shady. Nobody ain't got to act with no gas on the other. [00:01:04] Speaker B: My God. [00:01:04] Speaker A: That was not. That was not. That. That was not. [00:01:06] Speaker B: That was shady as the hell. [00:01:09] Speaker A: That was not shady. I think y' all are just. Oh, see, here y' all go. Oh, Lord. I didn't mean to do that. I meant to share. [00:01:16] Speaker B: Golly, [00:01:19] Speaker C: he always come with the sidelines. [00:01:20] Speaker B: Okay, no, it wasn't. [00:01:22] Speaker A: But it wasn't for y'. All. It was for everybody. [00:01:24] Speaker C: It better be for everybody, right? [00:01:25] Speaker B: It better be. You said so y'. All. Like, who was y'? All? Like, who's y'? [00:01:32] Speaker C: All? [00:01:32] Speaker B: You said so y'. All. [00:01:34] Speaker A: Yeah, so y' all like the people. [00:01:35] Speaker B: And then you say, you know how expensive gas is. Angel and Chanel. And then you said y'. All. [00:01:42] Speaker A: Well, okay, my apologies. That wasn't meant for y'. All. [00:01:46] Speaker C: Okay? [00:01:47] Speaker A: That was. That definitely wasn't meant for y'. [00:01:49] Speaker C: All. [00:01:49] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Who is the. Y' all? Say their names. [00:01:51] Speaker C: Y' all say your name. [00:01:52] Speaker A: Everybody. Everybody. Everybody in the interwebs land. [00:01:59] Speaker B: See, y' all steady going already, right? I was already in it. Look at. Look at my bob bobbing. I was getting it. Look at it. [00:02:07] Speaker A: Y' all already started. See, I don't. I don't like when y' all start, too. [00:02:13] Speaker B: Okay. [00:02:18] Speaker C: It's all right. [00:02:19] Speaker A: Tell me what you mean it's all right. [00:02:21] Speaker C: I be a one with my freestyle. [00:02:23] Speaker B: Okay. [00:02:25] Speaker A: How was your week so far? It's a good old Thursday. It's the pre weekend. How y' all doing? [00:02:32] Speaker C: My week has been okay. We going through a little training session or whatever at work. So it's been a little boring, a little aggravating, that whole spill, but I am very much. I. I mean, I don't know if we can do shout outs. I don't know if we can. [00:02:47] Speaker A: Go ahead. [00:02:47] Speaker C: I ain't care if you was gonna say yeah, no. Cause I'm gonna do it anyway. If you have never heard of Tori Luna, look her up. T O R I L U N A she is a singer. She has an amazing voice. She sings with 843 symphony alone and another group, which is a family group, but she is running for. I think it's like a jingle bell. Something on the radio where she wins a competition and I think like $10,000. If you follow me on Facebook. Excuse me. Enellchanelle. You will see where I share the link where you can vote for her. [00:03:22] Speaker B: Okay. [00:03:22] Speaker C: You can at least vote for her at least once a day for free. Or you can spend your little coin and vote as many times as you want. But please vote for her. She's one of our own. Vote for her. She has an amazing voice and she deserves this opportunity. Will do. But I ain't gonna do too many shout outs. Cause I ain't wanna hear his little crooked mouth, but. [00:03:40] Speaker A: Nah, you good. Go. Go for it. [00:03:41] Speaker C: That's my girl. That's my girl. And because my son plays with her on 843 Symphony. I love her voice. This girl, y', all, she's a. A dynamic musician as well, on top of singing. But go vote for my girl. [00:03:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:03:57] Speaker C: That's what my week has been like because I've been voting every single day. [00:04:00] Speaker B: Will do. [00:04:03] Speaker A: We going to go ahead and get into. Go ahead and try to about her week. [00:04:06] Speaker C: Don't skip her. I know. [00:04:06] Speaker A: I'm sorry, Chanel. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. [00:04:09] Speaker B: God. [00:04:10] Speaker A: My apologies, y'. [00:04:11] Speaker C: All. [00:04:12] Speaker A: We had some technical difficulties going on. It's driving, it's driving me. It's driving me up a wall right now. So I'm trying to keep. I'm trying to keep my cool. Cause technology, y', all, sometimes it'll. It'll just go left on you. [00:04:24] Speaker B: So it happens. It's. Man made it happen. [00:04:26] Speaker A: But angel, how was yours? [00:04:28] Speaker B: So my week is pretty. It's been doctor's appointments, all this other kind of stuff. Homecoming is next weekend. Shout out to the South Florence Bruins. [00:04:39] Speaker A: Oh, y' all have a homecoming next week. [00:04:41] Speaker B: Not too much. And so I've been prepping for that all week. I know my classmates are probably getting tired of Me calling them, but it's okay. I love you, Asanta. Love you, Kiki. Love you. I mean, yeah, love her. I love you, Loanza. I've been blowing them up. They've been blowing me up. Love you all. They have entrusted me with the role as president for the tailgating. So, yeah. So I just been running a little crazy, but it's okay. And that's about it. How about you? [00:05:18] Speaker C: Yes. [00:05:19] Speaker A: Outside of being aggravated right now with technology I've been having, it's been good. Weeks been good. I can't complain at all. And even if I could, wouldn't nobody be listening, so it doesn't even matter. [00:05:35] Speaker C: Said nobody wouldn't listen. [00:05:36] Speaker A: Yeah, people. People ain't listening to you. No matter. No matter what you do, they ain't listening. [00:05:44] Speaker B: Oh. [00:05:45] Speaker C: Oh, boy. Butt. [00:05:48] Speaker B: He's our own personal booky butt. [00:05:50] Speaker A: Oh, God. Hold on. [00:05:55] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Was in. [00:05:59] Speaker C: I okay. About to say. We got to see our comments. [00:06:03] Speaker B: Right? Right. And we listen. [00:06:11] Speaker C: Where you at? [00:06:12] Speaker B: Where you at? We are going to get into the topic soon. [00:06:17] Speaker C: You know what, viewers? One thing I want to say is y' all got to get on our questions, check out relationship status and look at our questions for the day, like in the morning or, you know, check our page periodically and check out the question of the day. And please engage. Answer the question. Get your mama. Answer the question. Your cousin, not your mama. [00:06:37] Speaker B: Somebody answer because we want to know. Do y' all not want to help me find a husband? [00:06:41] Speaker C: Yes. [00:06:42] Speaker B: Oh, he said don't do angel like that. Hey, Cody, Little black Hawaiian. Listen, don't y' all want to help me find a mate? Come on, help me out here. Or not. [00:06:53] Speaker A: I mean, something they. I told you we need to do dating angel. [00:06:58] Speaker B: Don't do that. Well, y', all, we gonna do a balloon dating angel. [00:07:02] Speaker A: Huh? [00:07:03] Speaker B: Don't do that. [00:07:04] Speaker A: Do a dating angel. I got a better one. And y', all, y'. [00:07:09] Speaker B: All. [00:07:10] Speaker A: And for those of us that are watching on you, that watch us on YouTube, if you're watching, pay attention to this. But we're gonna put a poll up on our social media R E L S tat podcast on Instagram and on our relationship status podcast page, we're going to put up a poll. Should we do a dating the first ladies of relationship status? Let's get Chanel. [00:07:34] Speaker C: The first ladies name was from the chicken and waffles place. Nah, what it was. Hey, auntie, what the name was Bring to something. You know, you bring the something. [00:07:52] Speaker A: Oh, no, not he. I did not say that was not not my saying. [00:07:55] Speaker C: Yeah, but I. [00:07:56] Speaker A: That was not my saying. [00:07:57] Speaker C: It was a chicken and waffles place. [00:07:58] Speaker A: I don't mean it's a. I'm a. It's one of our sponsors. [00:08:05] Speaker C: Oh, I thought that. [00:08:06] Speaker B: Never mind. Listen, we don't have to do that. Like, I don't want to be, like. I mean, here to. To. [00:08:13] Speaker A: What's up, Dawn? [00:08:14] Speaker B: Find a camera on or something. Not here to find a mate. We can't see ourselves. I can't see myself. [00:08:21] Speaker A: You're not gonna be able to. [00:08:22] Speaker B: Okay. That's crazy. Anyway, I am super excited. We got a good show for today. So I think this applies to a whole lot of people, myself included. [00:08:38] Speaker A: Okay, now, the topic is, you had me. Why did you have to lose me? So, Chanel, why is it that somebody can be with you for years, watch you beg for communication, attention, affection, and effort, but as soon as you leave? Now they know how to do everything you asked for. [00:08:58] Speaker C: I personally think that when that situation happens, it's because they get complacent. They don't think you'll walk away. And in a lot of situations, people think that love alone will sustain you, that you love me enough that you're gonna stay in it regardless. You'll keep working on it because you love me. And they really think you won't walk away. But then once you're gone, they're like, oh, shit, they was for real. Like, they was for real. She really liked it. She was for real. Oh, you ain't wanna take my shit. No. Yeah. I really think that some people really get stuck in it, that they think, like, I don't have to work at it no more, that they're gonna stick around, they love me just that much, that they're gonna stay. [00:09:37] Speaker A: Okay, so do you think. But does someone have to lose access to you before recognizing your value? [00:09:43] Speaker C: Sometimes. Sometimes. [00:09:45] Speaker A: Sometimes they gotta lose access to you. [00:09:47] Speaker C: You ever heard that saying? Sometimes you gotta touch it to see that it's hot in order for you to know that you'll get burned. I mean, for real living. Witness. I remember my son burned himself on the stove. No matter how many times I told him that you can get burned, my son, too, he had to actually touch the eye. [00:10:03] Speaker B: Mm. [00:10:04] Speaker C: In order for him to realize that it was hot. Like, the red flames ain't bother you. His favorite color was red, so he really wanted to touch it. And he actually had to get burned to realize that it was hard. Sometimes you have to realize that losing something that is no longer tangible to you, that you realize that it was valuable. [00:10:22] Speaker B: Right. [00:10:22] Speaker A: Okay. So, angel, so how long do you. How many times should you express an unmet need before it's time to walk away? Like, what's the time limit on it? [00:10:35] Speaker B: I don't think there's an actual time limit. It's kind of like my mom used to say, you know, when you've had enough and everybody's point is different. Like, if I keep expressing this to you and then I feel like, you know what? He's just not going to, like, I may be able to put up more than what Chanel may able to put up more with. So I guess it just depends on the person and also the situation. And I know me personally, if I tell you repeatedly, hey, I don't like this. I don't like what you're doing. You need to change it. And I'm trying to communicate, but. And then you make it seem like I'm complaining or I'm nagging and everything is my fault. Yeah. Then you gotta go. [00:11:14] Speaker C: Dwayne Dawson says you have to like your partner. Love isn't enough. Compatibility is needed. And I agree with that. Because, you know, a lot of people say that now I want somebody to actually like me. I want you to like me more than I like you. [00:11:27] Speaker B: Right. [00:11:27] Speaker C: I want somebody really. You have to learn to like people. Like, people can love you and not like you. There's a lot of people in my family that. I love you, but I don't like you. Your ass. You really have to like them. [00:11:44] Speaker B: And I don't want to add nobody. Yeah. It's like, can you imagine be around [00:11:47] Speaker C: people you don't like? [00:11:48] Speaker B: Right? [00:11:49] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, here's. I. I have been cons. I've been a culprit of said yes. [00:11:56] Speaker C: Pull out my notepads. Get. Get ready. [00:12:00] Speaker A: I have been a culprit. And Dawn. Sorry for. Sorry for mispronouncing your name. It was Dawn. [00:12:05] Speaker C: Oh, I'm sorry. [00:12:06] Speaker A: No, no, no. [00:12:07] Speaker C: Listen. [00:12:07] Speaker A: The first time. The first time I met her, I was calling her Dwayne, too, so. But I was a culprit. And a lot of us. And I'm just gonna tell you the thinking on the opposite side of it, on the opposite side of it, the feeling is, this is the person you met, this is the person you fell for. [00:12:27] Speaker B: Right. [00:12:28] Speaker A: And since this is me and you're. We're supposed to be accepting of each other as we are, then you asking me for more is a little bit more than I can handle, because this is. I'm. I haven't changed who I am, I am the same person that I am. And that's the reason why I think, and this is not to defend anybody, because in essence I am defending myself here or my former self. Okay, the, the, the a part of it is I don't see for me what the problem is because this is. You ain't never heard the saying, but it's just who I am. [00:13:05] Speaker B: Oh, absolutely. [00:13:06] Speaker A: So in that sense, they don't see why they should change or what it is, because, hey, I, you know, if you don't want to be with me, you can be out, right? [00:13:15] Speaker C: Some people use it as an excuse to just be right, like, or just [00:13:19] Speaker B: not even try to change. [00:13:20] Speaker A: I wouldn't say that. I wouldn't, because, okay, I'm not gonna [00:13:23] Speaker C: say everybody, but some people do. [00:13:25] Speaker A: I mean, for example, I'm a workaholic, all right? It goes without saying, I'm workaholic. I'm extremely busy. I have very little extra time. Extra time does not exist for me. So a lot of times when I end up in a relationship, I say this up front. This is not an excuse, this is a fact. At some point you're gonna get irritated with me. And the, and the amount of time I spend working, whether it's my business, my job and at my job, I have two different types of. I have two positions at one job. And then I just got caught. Auntie's silly. [00:14:04] Speaker C: Tell on my auntie, tell em that ain't on me. [00:14:09] Speaker A: So it's just a matter of that's just what I am and you want me to take away time from what I've been doing and the person that I am to then turn around and do what? So if this is what you met, this is who I am. And not saying it's correct because there was, there was one particular relationship I was in that when she broke up with me because of this exact same thing, she was just like, she kept communicating to me what she needed, what she needed, what she needed. And in the following relate. I didn't find the value in what she said, not necessarily until she was gone, but until she was gone because of everything that left with her. I didn't understand her value in my life. So being that I didn't quite understand her value in my life and I didn't. Not saying I took her for granted, but I didn't realize it in the moment that, hey, this person really, this woman really is here for me in that sense. And when she left, I was like, well, maybe I do need to. [00:15:11] Speaker B: Right? [00:15:12] Speaker A: Maybe I Do need to prioritize is [00:15:13] Speaker B: that, like, you didn't realize the impact she had on your life. Cause people would say, oh, I don't need you. It can go. But then, like you said, like, did you realize, like, she played an important part of your life? [00:15:23] Speaker A: I mean, yeah, well, put it to, like, I think everybody that you end up with do play an important role in some form of way, Whether it's to teach you how to deal with hurt, to teach you how to teach you a lesson here and there. So, yeah, I do. I do believe everybody that you end up with does bring value to your life. And yes, I underestimate it. Like I said, I will not. I will never say. You know, I would never say that I did. I took her for granted, because I didn't. I would say I underestimated the value she brought to my life, how much she made my life better. And it wasn't until she left that I understood that if I don't want the next person to leave, I need to change this. [00:16:01] Speaker B: Right. [00:16:02] Speaker C: You know, I also think comes along with that when we have that moment to ourselves once that person leaves on both sides. Because I think it does happen on both sides when you get that moment to yourself and you actually start reminiscing and thinking about those conversations that you had that you took for granted, that you didn't take the 10 minutes to actually listen to what they said because you knew that it wasn't going nowhere. At least you thought right now you're actually prioritizing and thinking and saying, hey, let me actually think about what she said two months ago or what he said two months ago, or when I didn't have time for that argument that I thought was an argument, but really was a discussion or something that I should have compromised on or whatever. When we have that time alone to think those things through, that's when we realize the value in what we had. You know what I'm saying? Right. [00:16:49] Speaker A: But I. I think you don't realize how valuable something is until it's gone, no matter what it is. Like, people be pissed off they got to go to work every day, but when they don't have that check, they decided to walk out, right? Finish this and flip the burgers over and walk out. And now you at home and don't understand that hot dog. I got to pay these bills. I got this. You don't understand the value of your job or even. Or even if that's not the case and you just happen to miss a part of your job, you Missed something on your job. You know what I'm saying? You might miss the people and you didn't realize how much. I'm just saying, for instance. [00:17:20] Speaker B: But for instance, I know, you know, [00:17:23] Speaker A: you don't miss certain things you don't miss. So even if, you know, after a divorce, I mean, my ex wife didn't get along or. Or for the majority of our thing. And we were. We should have gotten divorced because we never should have got married instead of repeated it. But I missed certain things after the divorce. Like, I missed game nights, family game nights. I missed that. I missed the ability to wake up with my kids every day. I missed that little things. Like, I missed sitting at the table and eating dinner on every few. Every few Sundays we would have a cookout at the house where friends would come over, you know, like. And we would have big Sunday dinners. Like, certain things I missed just doing just part of married life with her that I missed. Not necessarily saying that I didn't value her in that moment, but we didn't. We should have gotten divorced. But, you know, I missed things. I didn't understand the value of those things on me and how much I was gonna miss those things. Dawn said a safe space is needed daily for a significant. I agree 100%. [00:18:31] Speaker B: I agree 1,000%. Please, like, I agree. [00:18:35] Speaker A: Don't deal with me if you not busy. Like, I need you to have stuff to do. Go do something. Like hang out with your friends. Have, you know, pick up a hobby. Like, do something on your own so you. Like, I'm not the center Right of your world, whereas I get it. Not there then. [00:18:53] Speaker B: Yeah, I get it. I don't want your whole life to be. I don't. I don't want you to be consumed in my every. Like, I need you to find, like, find something to do. Like you don't have to work, like, you don't have to. There's nothing you have to do. Like, I just. I feel like I just don't want that because then I. It'll turn into something else. Oh, you don't have time for me. Or. Or I called you and you didn't answer your phone. Or I called like, God, I cannot. That is a pet peeve of being [00:19:25] Speaker C: in my space all the time. Yeah. When I decide to do something right. [00:19:28] Speaker B: Like, I can't. That right there. I called you. You answer your phone. That is a pet peeve of mine. It will pissed me off, so. Because it's okay. Like when I called you and you was. But when I. It's it's cool when you do it. It's a problem when I do it. Why? Why? Why? Because I just want to be a twin. That's it. We going to be twins, then we gonna be twining. That's a problem. Why? [00:19:50] Speaker A: So, angel, let me ask you something. If a man couldn't get himself together while he was with you, but six months after y' all break up, he's suddenly everything you wanted, do you feel like you helped build him for the next woman? [00:20:05] Speaker C: This ain't even for me. She. Somebody say, even for me. He said, angel. [00:20:09] Speaker A: I mean, it's for my. [00:20:10] Speaker B: What you say, Angel? I would say I. I would say yes. Because if you realize. If you realize what I was saying, like, you had to. Like, I would say you had to sit with yourself in a moment and like, dang, everything she's saying has had to been truthful, or else I would not be trying to either get back with her. [00:20:34] Speaker C: You know? [00:20:35] Speaker B: Like, I just feel like if you didn't care, then you wouldn't be trying to hit me back up, you know? [00:20:42] Speaker A: That's valid. [00:20:42] Speaker B: Yeah. If you didn't or everything I was saying, it was not valid and you felt like it was just a. Whatever type situation, I really don't feel like you would still be trying to see what I'm doing and see what I got going on. [00:20:55] Speaker C: And. [00:20:56] Speaker B: And then I think after. After you get rejected, then I think that's when you move on to somebody else. And then I do feel like I made this person a better person for somebody else. So when he gets into another relationship, you will listen more, you will communicate more, and you'll just be like a better person. Because then if not, if you keep doing the same thing, you're just going to keep. It's like the definition of insanity. Like, you keep doing the same thing but hoping for different results. It's not gonna happen. It's just not gonna happen. [00:21:32] Speaker A: Something wrong with Dawn. [00:21:33] Speaker C: I agree with dawn, though. [00:21:35] Speaker A: I should become better also. So good luck and good ribs. [00:21:41] Speaker B: No return trips. Keep stepping. I ain't interested. [00:21:44] Speaker A: So do you think people change because they want to or because they. Because they experience the consequences? [00:21:49] Speaker C: Both. [00:21:49] Speaker B: Both. Both, I would say. [00:21:51] Speaker C: I think they wanted to because they experienced the consequences. [00:21:54] Speaker B: Absolutely. I think it's both. [00:21:56] Speaker C: They didn't like the consequences. [00:21:57] Speaker B: Right. I'm like, dang, let me. Let me fix this. Because like you said, if I keep doing the same thing over and over again, nothing is going. I'm going to keep getting the same results. [00:22:08] Speaker C: Right. [00:22:09] Speaker B: So I Gotta. Something's gotta change, right? And I feel like a light bulb should go off in somebody's head. Like, dang. I kept doing it this way for this long. [00:22:18] Speaker C: Who continues that behavior? And don't change your toxic people, right? [00:22:23] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah, man. Effort. I don't gotta change. [00:22:27] Speaker B: Yeah, that's kind of it. Okay. [00:22:29] Speaker A: Okay, I got a couple scenarios for you. You and. And our audience, the big X debate. All right, so first one, your ex comes back after six months. They've been to therapy, they got their money, right? Learned how to communicate, and they're ready to give you everything you wanted when y' all were together. But here's the catch. During those six months, they dated three other people, and those relationships didn't work out. Now they come back telling you that you are the love of their life. Chanel, are you taking them back? Why is you on your. [00:23:07] Speaker C: I was looking at my face, and I was looking at my nails. Don't judge me down here. [00:23:12] Speaker A: I'm not just saying. I thought that was. Was like, a reaction. [00:23:19] Speaker C: I'm a Sagittarius. I'm like fertilizer. I make everything grow. So it's possible. On the splay. I don't. It really depends on where I am in my life. It wouldn't all be about where. Where they are and what they've been through. It will also be about my own growth and where I am in my life because I wouldn't shut them out just because of what happened in those six months prior or what happened during our breakup. You know, that doesn't count them out because of what they did while we were broken up. It will also. What's going on in my life will be a contributing factor as well. [00:23:57] Speaker A: Okay. What about you, Chanel? I mean, Angel. [00:23:59] Speaker C: I am Chanel. [00:24:02] Speaker B: I am not. I don't know. I would be super hesitant because just. Cause you told me that you've changed. If I don't see it. [00:24:14] Speaker A: But you. That's what I said in the question. It says, you know, you see, like, he's done the work. You see that he's done the work. But in this. [00:24:23] Speaker C: Okay, Cody. [00:24:26] Speaker B: I don't know. I just. I think for me, I would be so scared and a little hesitant. I'm like, is he. Is he just putting on the front, like, all right, is he changed? I don't know. I would be a little apprehensive to take him back. It would take me a while to think about that. [00:24:45] Speaker A: Auntie said what you did broke trust, Right? [00:24:48] Speaker B: So I. It would be a lot. [00:24:51] Speaker A: As far as this is concerned. I think either you. When you break up with somebody, do the work, find out what it is. That's the reason why. I think, although you don't deserve closure, it would be nice so that, you know, hey, you know, this is what I need to work on, and this is what I might need to change. And if you've already went ahead and you've already given that you felt like you've communicated that enough and you don't feel the need to do that at the end of the relationship, then you don't have to just go ahead and do the work. [00:25:21] Speaker B: Cody talking about angel hard on a man. No, I am not. I just know the foolishness I can put up with and the BS that I'm not. So, yeah, like, stop playing. Like, if. If I. If I'm continuously telling you I'm not a hard person to date at all, I don't feel like I am. I just have, like, one rule. Don't do to me what you don't want done to you. That simple. That. That. That simple. That's straightforward. If you feel like if I did it to you that it will hurt you, then guess what? It's gonna hurt me too. Just don't do it. That's. I. I feel like you cannot get any more simpler than that. [00:26:00] Speaker A: Dawn says actions will speak louder than words. [00:26:02] Speaker B: Yeah. Just don't do it. [00:26:04] Speaker A: All right, second topic of the night. So angel sent us this post, and we need your help to understand something. A man sends this message to a woman he's dating. I know all of you have seen this. It was all over social media. I know I plan to take you out, but Bill's really got the best of me this month. On top of that, I had to help my kid mom. I had to help my kid mom with her car note. I have salmon in the oven, and I was wondering if you could stop, grab a bottle of wine, and we just chill here at my place tonight. Hold on now, before y' all start. His brother got bills. He got child support responsibilities. He got salmon in the oven, and he's still trying to spend time with this woman. But apparently the biggest problem is that he helped his baby mama pay her car note. Why. Why is that such a big problem? [00:27:02] Speaker B: Oh, I see a couple of things wrong here. [00:27:05] Speaker C: Can I. Can I be okay? Let me be myself. Let me be myself for a minute. [00:27:11] Speaker B: Cody talking about when he went to therapy and got together. Cody, I understand. [00:27:14] Speaker C: I'm gonna tell you. Number one, he need to know the Woman he dealing with. And sometimes too much information is going to get you counted out. You could have just told me you had bills. Baby, I got salmon in the oven and we just can't go on the steak. And you grab a bottle of wine because the moment you told me you paying your baby mama car. [00:27:31] Speaker B: No, you going to do it all the time. This ain't your first time and it won't be your last. [00:27:36] Speaker A: But here's okay. [00:27:38] Speaker C: You better learn that everything you don't have to. I'm a fire sign and I burn down. You ain't going to make it. Telling me you paid your baby mama car note, right? [00:27:50] Speaker A: Dawn said she don't think the Post said it. [00:27:52] Speaker B: Did he act he had salmon in the oven and he asked her cuz she grab a bottle of wine. [00:27:58] Speaker C: Boy, you going to tell me you ain't going to take me on a date because you ain't going to take me on a day because you pay your mama? I ain't heard. [00:28:04] Speaker B: I feel it. [00:28:04] Speaker C: You got to understand the way our mind works. We ain't heard nothing about them bills. [00:28:08] Speaker B: All we heard is your baby mama car note. That's it. [00:28:12] Speaker C: Let's be real, ladies. We did black. You better hush. [00:28:16] Speaker A: He said we need more details. Baby mama taking the kids to school. Oh, I ain't read. [00:28:20] Speaker C: I just saw your name pop up and I was ready to come for you. [00:28:23] Speaker A: That's where I was going next. [00:28:25] Speaker C: Like, listen, if he ain't gonna give all them details, don't you tell me that. [00:28:29] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. Like you can be able to do that. See, she said that spoil my appetite. That's my cousin. Hey, Amber. I love her name. [00:28:37] Speaker C: Hold on. Let. Let me. Let me. [00:28:38] Speaker B: Let me really back if that's the case. You don't have to say that. Don't say that because I got to [00:28:42] Speaker C: tell you who I am. Listen, hear me out. [00:28:44] Speaker A: Tell me who you are. [00:28:45] Speaker C: Cause as a woman, we gotta be real ladies. We don't hear none of that bs. He said because you came with my baby mama. I don't care about that. What you should have said was, I got some bills, I got some child support. If you wanna let that fall under the line. If you got child support, word. The hell you got to. I ain't your wife. I'm a girl you dating. You gotta learn to cut some information out. You're giving me privileged information that I ain't entitled to yet. Yeah. [00:29:13] Speaker B: Don't say that. [00:29:14] Speaker C: Hear it, absorb it. Straighten up them feet and get it together. Look, y' all Wish I could see him straighten up his feet when I said it on command. He straightened them up, too. But okay. [00:29:27] Speaker A: But for real. [00:29:28] Speaker C: But understand that there are certain things that you are privileged to and for real, we're not privileged to that type of information. It's okay if you want to tell me. You got some bills and, hey, I just ain't got it. I cook the salmon, bring us some wine, and we can have a lovely time. But sometimes too much information can get you counted out when I ain't privileged to that information. [00:29:46] Speaker A: What is it that women. What is it? What is the one thing women keep telling me they want or women, not me, they keep saying they want? What do women want more than anything? [00:29:53] Speaker C: Honesty. [00:29:54] Speaker A: Honesty. So the man is giving the man. [00:29:56] Speaker C: You are giving me honesty. Nobody tell you, man, I ain't told you to bury your soul on the first date. [00:30:00] Speaker A: The man gave you honesty. So I'm just saying you ain't lie [00:30:04] Speaker C: to me about not telling me everything. Y' all got to understand the difference in lying and telling too much information. He didn't lie. If he don't tell her that I'm [00:30:13] Speaker B: an Aries fire sign, baby. So Don asked about. Come on, Don said. Don asked if it was. Are they just dating or are they in a relationship? [00:30:25] Speaker C: And that's different. He asked her to come over. They ain't married, which means they know much of it. [00:30:30] Speaker B: Are they dating or are they in a relationship? [00:30:33] Speaker C: My book is only two of them. Either we dating or we married. [00:30:37] Speaker B: Well, it's not. There's two different things. Like, you can just be dating. You know, you can just be dating when you're in a relationship. Like, it's just you and that person [00:30:47] Speaker C: coming to your house. [00:30:48] Speaker A: You were going to his. Oh, he was inviting you over. [00:30:51] Speaker C: I, I, I apologize, Don. [00:30:53] Speaker A: I think, I think that. And Chanel said. And Chanel said it best. The second that, the second that he, he said, baby mama, I ain't heard [00:31:00] Speaker B: nothing else, all right? I was like, they didn't hear nothing else. [00:31:04] Speaker A: Women, more than anybody, have selective hearing excuse. As soon as, as soon as one word, one word, and it's like, okay, okay, okay, okay. [00:31:17] Speaker C: One thing, all right? [00:31:18] Speaker A: I'm out. [00:31:23] Speaker C: Of the date. Be honest with you. I don't plan a whole nother date. I ain't even coming over there for that raggedy behind Sammy. That probably wasn't even a whole piece anyway. Probably got. Doesn't drop small salmon. I mean, shrimp, but probably got scrambled to go with it instead of shrimp. [00:31:38] Speaker A: But doesn't him Actually being like, okay, I still want to spend time with you. I still. I'm cooking. I would still like for you to come by. I would still like for us to spend. Spend this time. Like, is. Shouldn't that be. Isn't that thoughtful? [00:31:52] Speaker C: That is thoughtful. But you should have thought through his explanation. [00:31:54] Speaker B: Oh, I can only speak for me at this age and stage. I think at that point, if you say, hey, I. I can't do this. My baby mama, this, that, and the third, I already put salmon in the oven. Number one, you knew you couldn't take me on a date. [00:32:06] Speaker C: Number one. [00:32:07] Speaker B: Cause you said the salmon was in the oven. So you already knew that we couldn't go on a date because you went out shopping and you bought salmon and you cooked it. You said, it's already. [00:32:18] Speaker C: Because I'm one of them people that got. [00:32:21] Speaker B: But then you say, hey, I can't do this. But you already knew that because you could have easily said, hey. [00:32:28] Speaker C: Oh, go to. It gotta be just right. [00:32:31] Speaker A: Mo Black said, hold on, let me [00:32:33] Speaker C: see what they say. [00:32:34] Speaker A: Tell too much, he's wrong, don't tell enough. Hold on, he's interested. Which one this is? Oh, Dawn, I like the invite to eat what you cook. If your money is funny, however, comma, don't request wine. [00:32:48] Speaker B: Let me offer. Let me offer, right? [00:32:50] Speaker A: Mo Black said, tell too much, he's wrong, don't tell enough. [00:32:55] Speaker C: I can't see. [00:32:56] Speaker A: Okay, I got you. [00:32:57] Speaker B: What we doing? [00:32:59] Speaker A: What we doing now? [00:33:00] Speaker B: Why I gotta be Goldilocks? See, okay, no, we don't call you [00:33:04] Speaker C: Goldilocks like Goldilocks in three days. [00:33:06] Speaker A: It gotta be just right. [00:33:07] Speaker B: Right. Okay, that bowl of porridge, it is. It does have to be. [00:33:11] Speaker C: No, no, listen, because I'm. I'm gonna be honest. It doesn't have to be. I'm not saying that it has to be just right. I'm just saying that if we're not at that level of tell all, I don't feel like you have to divulge all your information to me just to say that you have other things going on, that we can't go on a date. [00:33:30] Speaker A: If he would have said I had to take care of something for my kids, let's just say that would have been enough. But then you find out later that he paid the baby mama car note. [00:33:38] Speaker C: It depends on the level of the relationship. But what it sounds like is they're not that deep in it for him to be telling her all of that. Now, if we on the point of we engaged or we been dating for Two years and something like that. I don't think it would be to the level of him saying, hey, I [00:33:55] Speaker B: gotta cancel the date. I really think it was just dating because I think they just. To me, it sounds like maybe they've been on maybe one or two, three dates, and that's it. [00:34:04] Speaker A: Let's flip this on the women real quick. A woman cancels dinner with her boyfriend because her child's father needed help paying his rent. She tells her boyfriend to come over, grab a bottle of wine, and. [00:34:14] Speaker C: Ain't gonna happen because my baby did. [00:34:16] Speaker B: Yeah, let me finish. [00:34:20] Speaker A: Let me finish. [00:34:21] Speaker B: Okay. [00:34:23] Speaker A: Is that the same situation where the child live? Hope, let me finish. Should that man be understanding? [00:34:30] Speaker C: Where'd the child live? [00:34:34] Speaker A: Apparently lives with her child's father. Needed help paying his rent with her. [00:34:39] Speaker B: His rent? [00:34:40] Speaker C: If my child don't live with his daddy, I don't care if that monkey home. I ain't taking money out of the house. [00:34:45] Speaker B: He got a place to get it here. [00:34:47] Speaker A: It's flipped. So the child lives with him. My fault. It's flipped. [00:34:50] Speaker B: So the child lives with him. [00:34:51] Speaker A: The child lives with him. [00:34:52] Speaker B: Okay, first of all, I will go get my child. [00:34:56] Speaker A: What? [00:34:57] Speaker B: And my child can stay with me. You have to say that. I don't know first of all, what I'm not gonna do. And it could be principal's house, but my grandfather said you would never pay a bit. And that's if it's your husband and y' all are in it. I am not paying no man rent. So if that's what you looking for. [00:35:19] Speaker A: I don't even think it's. [00:35:20] Speaker B: I don't care. Ex husband. I don't care, baby daddy. I don't care. [00:35:23] Speaker A: I literally think the view. The view of, like, that view is a little bit lmo. She said, he will be homeless. [00:35:30] Speaker C: He will be homeless. Honestly, I feel like even when it came down to the car payment, everybody's saying, oh, well, he gotta. She gotta take that child to school. Y' all gotta realize this coming from a mama who raised four sons by herself. I went to my dad to pay that car payment. Bump that. I ain't going to their daddy. Because if I couldn't pay my car payment, guess what? I would have to find another way for my kids to get to school. [00:35:50] Speaker B: Absolutely. And first of all, what kind of my baby daddy? [00:35:57] Speaker C: Because most of these men today, y' all gonna get mad. They pay their child support and look the other way. So I went to him for no extra anyway. [00:36:04] Speaker B: And I just want to know what kind of man will be okay with asking a woman to help pay his rent. [00:36:10] Speaker A: But what if, like, what. [00:36:12] Speaker B: First of all, I ain't even gonna be with nobody like that. Number one, what. [00:36:15] Speaker A: But what if he didn't ask? What if it's like, what if they have a great co parenting situation? [00:36:22] Speaker C: And my son called me and said. [00:36:23] Speaker A: And the son didn't call. [00:36:24] Speaker C: They got a note on the door and they said, daddy about to be homeless. I'm like, I'm about to come over here. [00:36:30] Speaker A: It's a matter of daddy about to be homeless. A matter of just them having a conversation and oh, what's wrong? Da, da, da. And he might divulge what's wrong. And what if he didn't ask her? He didn't even want it. He had to. He was trying to figure out. Because most men, we're going to try to figure out how to fix whatever the issue is. And sometimes that's why I don't like divulging my issues to a woman I'm dealing with. Because women are nurturing. So sometimes they'll go. They'll go, oh, man, he ain't asked. He been hustling. He been doing what he got to do. Let me see if I can help them out here or there. [00:37:03] Speaker C: See, y' all some pacified patience, baby. [00:37:07] Speaker B: Dad is diabolical. [00:37:09] Speaker C: I'mma stand on what I say because like I said, I'm a single mother who raised four grown sons. Might I add, they grown now. I did it by myself. I done had surgeries, I done lost jobs with my four sons and not one time I ever called their daddy. [00:37:24] Speaker A: I'm not saying. All I'm saying is. Let me ask you this. Let me ask you. Let me ask you. [00:37:28] Speaker C: Can you ask as I finish what I'm saying? [00:37:30] Speaker A: Finish. Finish what you're saying. Finish what you're saying. [00:37:33] Speaker C: My. The point is there are some co parenters and I don't have bad relationships with their father. It's just the fact of. Some people will use that as a crush to say, I need help. But what if he wasn't the type to help? You will figure it out another way. So no, I don't condone the fact that outside of the needs of your child. And no, I am one of those parents that feel like the child support is for the needs of the child and the needs of the child. But if you can't handle your own bills, that will be your bills whether you had a child or not. That's on you. It ain't no. Oh, I couldn't pay my car payment. So you're gonna have to help me. Because your kids can't get to school if they ain't had a car. You couldn't get to work if you ain't had a car either, and you would have still had to work even if you had them kids. [00:38:19] Speaker A: You're attacking it from a point as if. [00:38:21] Speaker C: All I'm saying is that man ain't about to cancel no dinner with me because he paid his baby car note. And our dog owner ain't about to pay nobody rent because my child Lil that I'm coming to pick up all four monkeys I gave birth to. [00:38:33] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm just not doing it. [00:38:35] Speaker A: Well, I get what y' all are saying. I understand. Don't agree, but I understand. I think that because just like Chanel, to your point, you said that you raised all four boys by yourself. And earlier. Now, I might have misquoted you. This might be a misquote. So I apologize if it is prior to. But you said, I'm not gonna ask. I'm not gonna ask their dad. I'm gonna ask my daddy. So my assumption is there's been points in your life where you've had to ask. [00:39:02] Speaker C: I have a support system. My dad, the man that made me, not the man that made him. [00:39:08] Speaker A: And then once, and then once again, and then once again, I have to revert back to what I said in my statement. It's not for most men. It's not necessarily. We're gonna go to a woman and ask. [00:39:21] Speaker C: Right. [00:39:21] Speaker A: We're not gonna. I'm not gonna call and ask you for help. I don't even. Damn it, don't want your help because it makes me seem like. It makes me look like less of a man. So in that sense. And we'll come back to the comments. In that sense, I'm speaking from the man that is just. He got a good relationship. [00:39:38] Speaker C: Thank you, Auntie. I'm sorry, I mean, to cuss. [00:39:40] Speaker A: He's got a good. He's got a good relationship with his. He's got a good relationship with his. With his kid's mom, and the kids live with him. And. And I always like to say, if a kid is living with a particular parent, there is a reason they are living with that particular parent. [00:39:54] Speaker C: Right? [00:39:54] Speaker B: Right. [00:39:54] Speaker A: So at the end of the day, if the mom really wanted the kid, the mom would come get the kid. [00:40:01] Speaker C: Right. [00:40:01] Speaker A: And the kid would have been with the mom right from the start. So if the kid is with the father, nine times out of ten and y' all got a good relationship. If he's like, man, yeah, you know, how's everything going? Da da, da. Because sometimes you care about the person if you're, if you have a good co parenting situation and in that sense, then you turn around and you have a conversation and then all of a sudden it's like, oh man, well I ain't got this, but I can send you this. And your initial, a man's initial response is, nah, I don't want nothing. Like you good, like I'll get it taken care of. But some women sometimes push the issue and do it anyway or go do stuff anyway. And it may not be pay your rent, but it might be okay, let me buy groceries or let me do this or let me do that. So I'm just saying I'm speaking from it, from that sense of it. Not necessarily because like you said, Chanel, like you have a community of people in the village that helped you. [00:40:58] Speaker C: Because if we were co parenting on all aspects, financially, morally, emotionally, whatever the kids need, rather it be rise to track practice whatever it is they need, if we co parented in all aspects of their life at all times, my car payment wouldn't be behind. [00:41:18] Speaker A: Yeah, well, I mean, you know, we [00:41:21] Speaker C: don't want to look at that angle. [00:41:22] Speaker A: So I'm looking at I, I, I, Like I said I, like I said I. [00:41:27] Speaker C: So I think a lot of times when guys be helping women pay bills and stuff like that, it's because of lack of what they did in child support anyway. [00:41:33] Speaker A: No, I think sometimes, I think some, I think sometimes, sometimes there are men who are just like, you have my child and since you have my child and you having an issue, why would I want you to go to anybody else but your child's father? [00:41:51] Speaker B: I think that way some men don't. [00:41:54] Speaker C: I do feel like some situations, maybe [00:41:56] Speaker A: not in every situation and I do have child support. [00:41:59] Speaker C: If you have a mother that is doing over her share because you're not physically there all the time, may not be financially all the time, but if you're not physically there all the time and she's doing over her share, then yeah, you'll be more apt to say, I'm gonna go ahead and pay this bill for her, I'm gonna do this extra for her because I know I'm not there for this. [00:42:17] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean that's what I'm saying. Like I just think that whenever you're the non custodial parent, it's, it's, it, it's, it's easy for you to step in and go, okay, well, this. They're having this issue because say what? Let's get. Let's get into some of these comments before we get out of here. Just FYI, that homeless monkey was good enough to be your boo before you [00:42:42] Speaker B: sent back to the zoo. [00:42:45] Speaker C: But I can't talk about them feet over there. But you want to talk about my homeless monkey. [00:42:49] Speaker A: Dawn said, men need community. Men need community with other men. Borrow from another man or your sister to my shoe. [00:42:58] Speaker B: Amen. [00:42:59] Speaker A: Oh, Lord people that what I'm saying. [00:43:01] Speaker C: Where you going? [00:43:02] Speaker A: I'm going to the. It keeps. Auntie said I got this whole check one year. And when he see how it keeps going. [00:43:11] Speaker B: So when he called back, I said, my mama didn't race stupid and hung up. [00:43:19] Speaker A: And black and white. [00:43:21] Speaker C: It better be upfront with your situation or. And or your intentions. Lay the other person's side if they want to be a part of what [00:43:28] Speaker A: you got going on. [00:43:30] Speaker B: I totally agree with that. Some people may be okay with it and some people just may not be like. So I definitely agree with that. Look at that. I agree with you. Black and white for. For once. This might be the only day this be like this next. Yeah, this is probably like the only day. [00:43:49] Speaker A: Hey, y', all, once again, don't forget. And. And we're going to. We're going to get back to the show a little bit. We're trying to get relationship status to podcast to 100 YouTube subscribers or now. Huh? [00:43:57] Speaker C: We got to do it either or [00:43:58] Speaker A: n. We don't got enough time today. We. The conversation was good. We can't. We sometimes. Sometimes we don't get to everything I like either. [00:44:05] Speaker C: Or [00:44:08] Speaker A: we're on the road to 500. We're going to give away $100 gas card. That's going to happen on November 14th. That week of. No, I'm sorry. The week of November 2nd. The live show that week we're going to be giving away that gas card. So tap in. Make sure that you go to the Relationship Status podcast page. The link will be in our bio. It'll also be Atrelationshipstatuspodcast.com you'll see the link to our YouTube. Go to YouTube, subscribe and go. So that we know you subscribe, go to the comments, answer the question on our latest video. Whichever question is there. Answer the question on our latest video and that will go ahead and put you into the running for the gas card. So I do have a couple scenarios for y' all before we get out of here. [00:44:51] Speaker C: All right. [00:44:51] Speaker A: It's the financial debate. [00:44:53] Speaker B: Oh, wow. [00:44:54] Speaker A: All right, so let's take this a little bit further. I got three scenarios for you. Scenario one, he pays his child's mother car note so he can get their child to school. Good father. Or appropriate or inappropriate financial involvement. [00:45:10] Speaker C: Inappropriate financial involvement. [00:45:14] Speaker B: I would say good father on that. [00:45:16] Speaker A: This could be considered an either or. [00:45:17] Speaker B: Yeah, I would say a good father on that. [00:45:20] Speaker A: Good father. That's what I think. [00:45:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:45:24] Speaker A: All right, next one. He pays her rent because she's behind and her. Their child lives there. Responsibility or lack of boundaries? [00:45:33] Speaker B: Responsibility. [00:45:36] Speaker A: Chanel. [00:45:37] Speaker B: Chanel. I say it's a responsibility. [00:45:42] Speaker C: I'm just. [00:45:43] Speaker B: He said they agree with me, I think. [00:45:44] Speaker C: I guess because I'm looking at it from both sides. Because if it was the woman doing it for the man as well, what would you consider? [00:45:52] Speaker B: Right. It's definitely a responsibility because that's your child. So you. Your child is a responsibility. [00:45:57] Speaker C: I think it's responsible for you to care about a child, not the household, [00:46:00] Speaker B: but the child lives there. [00:46:03] Speaker A: Okay. He gives his child's mother 400 to get a hair done for a birthday. [00:46:09] Speaker B: No. Oh, I'm sorry. [00:46:11] Speaker A: While you're telling. While telling his current girlfriend that he's broken. [00:46:15] Speaker B: First of all, after that's a girlfriend no more. I think a gift is a gift. [00:46:18] Speaker C: Now what? [00:46:19] Speaker B: No. [00:46:19] Speaker C: Now what? Now what? A gift is a gift. [00:46:24] Speaker B: Cause first of all, where you going? To get your hair done. [00:46:26] Speaker C: For what? [00:46:26] Speaker B: No, absolutely. [00:46:27] Speaker C: I mean, by the time you get lashes and your eyes up on me [00:46:30] Speaker B: and tell me, oh, I paid to get my baby mama $400. But then you just told me yesterday that you was broke. Guess what? You broke. And we just broke. He gonna be broke after he gave me my $400? [00:46:43] Speaker A: No, three is a red. Don't say three is a red flag. [00:46:46] Speaker B: Uh huh. Yeah. Absolutely not. Go ahead. Please tell if he paying my rent in my car. [00:46:52] Speaker C: No. I might as well give me a birthday gift. And it's next month, by the way. November 28th. Don't y' all forget after Thanksgiving and you get. You get discounts because of Black Friday. [00:47:01] Speaker B: No, please tell me so that. [00:47:02] Speaker C: Go tell y' all girlfriends you're broke and run me my phone. [00:47:05] Speaker B: Paid $400 to get your girlfriend money. My 400, your baby mama hair done. And then yesterday you just told me you was broke. Oh, hey, that ain't the only thing. They getting ready to be broke. [00:47:17] Speaker A: Yeah, that's why I be telling you you toxic. That ain't the only thing that's fitting to be Broke. [00:47:26] Speaker C: Nah, I ain't gonna fight. [00:47:27] Speaker B: Yeah, you go play. Go play with somebody else. Okay. Please go play with somebody else. And even further, go find something more safe to do. Even after that, go find something more safe to do. Cause no talking about get a haircut. Then you don't need a cut. Yeah. No, you would never. Okay, Please don't play with me. [00:47:51] Speaker A: Chanel, final thoughts on either of the topics we had today. [00:47:55] Speaker C: Y' all want my final thoughts? Pay that whole rent and see what happens. That's what my final thought is. Because we don't play that in my world. [00:48:04] Speaker B: Mm. [00:48:04] Speaker C: Mm. Don't collect your children. That what you need to do. Because if she can't pay her rent or her car note and her head nappy, I mean, it could be straight. She might be Becky. I don't know. But if she got that many issues, you need to go and get your kids, call cps, do something. But you ain't paying nothing over there. [00:48:22] Speaker A: They talk tough. [00:48:24] Speaker B: You better know. [00:48:25] Speaker C: You better know. [00:48:27] Speaker A: Angel, [00:48:29] Speaker B: she said F up. All right. Around to find out. Absolutely. Yeah. I prompt. Do it and see. [00:48:35] Speaker A: Final thoughts. [00:48:35] Speaker B: Angel, listen again. Like I said earlier, don't do anything to me that you don't want done to you. If you would feel some type of way if I gave a nigga $400. [00:48:47] Speaker C: Well, we know you ain't giving nobody no $400. [00:48:51] Speaker A: Listen, it wasn't me this time. Look, it wasn't me this time. [00:48:55] Speaker C: Cause she the one talking to him. [00:48:57] Speaker A: It wasn't me that time. This time it is. [00:48:59] Speaker C: I ain't so rough, but I'm a more even person than AJ when it come to that. [00:49:03] Speaker A: It was not me this time. For the record, I love my girl, though. I love my girl. [00:49:08] Speaker B: I'm just saying, if you got. If you gonna have an issue with me giving somebody $400. [00:49:17] Speaker C: Yeah, don't do that. [00:49:18] Speaker A: I stayed quiet. I didn't. [00:49:19] Speaker B: Yeah, [00:49:22] Speaker C: you was taking it. [00:49:23] Speaker B: Yeah. Just don't do that. Okay. [00:49:26] Speaker A: All right. [00:49:26] Speaker B: So, yeah, cuz then I got. Cuz then I got to show my. Then I got to show my ass. [00:49:30] Speaker C: Don't do that. [00:49:31] Speaker A: Just like we. [00:49:32] Speaker B: And not on the live, but for real. Not on the live but for real. [00:49:38] Speaker A: Once again, wasn't me. [00:49:40] Speaker B: All right, you did. Cause you didn't stop the live. Okay, I'll DM you my cash app right now. Go ahead and DM it and see what happens. [00:49:48] Speaker C: We might send you $40. $40? [00:49:52] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:49:52] Speaker A: I just said you won't get 40 cents. [00:49:54] Speaker C: What that song is. You might get 2 twenties, y' all remember that song, 2 twenties. Go look it up. Black and white. That's song 2 twenties. [00:50:01] Speaker B: That's your song. [00:50:03] Speaker A: All right, so let's get my final thought. Here we go. Here's what I want y' all to understand. Sometimes people don't recognize your value until they lose access to you. But just because somebody finally realizes what they had doesn't mean you're obligated to give it back to them. Regret is not growth. Missing you is not accountability. And an apology without changed behavior is just another conversation you've already had. Now, when it comes to money, relationships, and responsibilities, everybody says they want a responsible partner. But sometimes responsibility means making decisions that aren't romantic. Sometimes it looks like canceling a reservation, like cooking a dinner at home. And sometimes it looks like helping a mother of your child because the child benefits from two stable parents. But remember this. Being a good parent doesn't give you permission to be a bad partner. You still have to communicate. You still have to establish boundaries. You still have to make the person your dating feel value. And here's the part y' all might not like. Stop expecting people to prove love by spending their money they don't have. And stop expecting people to expect just because they have responsibility. Love requires effort. Relationships require accountability. And both require knowing the difference between making sacrifices and making excuses. Stop confusing somebody missing you with somebody being ready for you. And stop confusing somebody having financial responsibilities with somebody not valuing you. The question isn't whether somebody can afford an expensive date or whether your ex knows what they've lost. The question is whether their actions demonstrate love, respect, consistency, and accountability. You deserve. And this is my final thought, ladies, once again, thank y' all for being here. We. We brought another good one to them. [00:51:38] Speaker C: And all righty. [00:51:39] Speaker B: You're welcome. [00:51:40] Speaker A: And if y' all did miss Mondays Angel Wilding. And if y' all did miss. And if y' all did miss Monday's episode, go to YouTube. The question is on there. Like I said, road to 500. Go ahead and tap in. And if you're not a member of the community, go ahead and join the community. We have great conversations in there. That is patreon.com relationship status. 199amonth and you get a free tea. Hey, I guess that's it, ladies. And they. They didn't. If you missed Monday, show great conversation. On Monday's episode, we were joined by the ladies of the Very Necessary podcast. And if you missed. If you just jumping on and you missed a little bit of this this episode will be on YouTube at midnight tonight. Any Anything else? Did I miss anything, ladies? [00:52:27] Speaker B: No. If you're planning on dating me, I require. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I was kidding. I'm for real. I'm just joking. [00:52:35] Speaker C: I swear, y'. All. [00:52:36] Speaker B: No, I'm. I'm joking. [00:52:37] Speaker C: The show will be called. Will it be Hell's angel or Heaven's Angel? [00:52:44] Speaker A: The show is called Good night, y'. [00:52:45] Speaker C: All. [00:52:49] Speaker A: Goodbye. Y'. [00:52:50] Speaker C: All. [00:52:50] Speaker A: Have a great one in the building and it's relationship status. Peace. [00:52:57] Speaker C: Which angel will you get?