288th Date: Are You His Rebound? The Red Flags You Shouldn't Ignore

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome back to relationship status where we are changing relationships one conversation at a time. It's your boy Yousef in the building. And remember, you can catch on all podcast platforms. Remember also Patreon, patreon, patreon, patreon, patreon.com backslash Relationship status. 199amonth. 199amonth. You can catch all the behind scenes stuffs. Stuff. The one thing y' all want to see is when a angel on the live had to pick up her purse from behind the couch and all her ass was out. So that is on the Patreon. Make sure you lock in 199amonth. I am here with two of long term friends. I would like to call them friends. I don't know if they call me a friend, but it is Vaughn and Yosh of the Very necessary podcast. Welcome them to the show. Welcome, ladies. [00:00:52] Speaker B: Thank you for having us. I feel like I done reached the upper echelon of. [00:00:58] Speaker A: I mean, but it's been a minute since y' all been on the show. [00:01:01] Speaker B: I need a drinky drink or something. [00:01:03] Speaker A: It been a minute since y been. I offered you. I offered you a drink drink. [00:01:06] Speaker C: I need veteran celebrities. You better. [00:01:09] Speaker B: Oh, you said veteran celebrities. [00:01:10] Speaker A: Yeah, they are veterans. How long is your podcast? How long is Very Necessary been five years. Five year. Let me tell you something. When I met them at a restaurant, SL bar in Colombia a little bit over five years ago, there was four of you, and they had an idea of a podcast. Hey, we got this equipment. Come look at our equipment. I was like, shall. [00:01:34] Speaker C: Bye. [00:01:35] Speaker A: I don't know what we got going on here. [00:01:36] Speaker B: What you got go. Do you gonna talk about our equipment? Cause we were proud about it. [00:01:41] Speaker A: Y' all were proud. Y' all were proud. [00:01:43] Speaker C: We had training wheels on the bike [00:01:45] Speaker A: and then we had to come through. And not only that, I think you guys had a great idea. You guys had great chemistry. It was y' all two sue and Jennifer, and you started with an idea and five years later, you are rocking it. You guys show up every week for your listeners. What do you. Real quick. And you know we're gonna make it real, real quick. What has been. I'm asking two questions and I want you both to answer it. [00:02:10] Speaker C: Okay? [00:02:10] Speaker A: All right. So, Yosh, I'm asking you the first question. What has been the most difficult part about doing very necessary? [00:02:19] Speaker C: I don't think it's difficult at all, honestly. [00:02:27] Speaker A: What has been the biggest challenge? [00:02:28] Speaker C: It's very natural, I guess, just getting four people to meet on schedule to be Able to connect and show up for the listeners because you got four different people who. Four different people's obligations. You know, anytime it's just one, you kind of. That's enough itself because you're going to have conflict. But then when it's four, come on. Yeah, that's, that's hard to do. So that's probably been like our biggest. My. On my end, that's been the biggest dilemma. [00:03:05] Speaker A: Okay, what about you? [00:03:06] Speaker B: I would take it a little further than that. I would say for the audience, you want to make sure that every show that you're sending out there into the universe is. That is landing with the right ears or with someone that can resonate. And I think it's not difficult, but it's the unknown. You don't ever know who you're reaching out to, how you're impacting. And until you receive that feedback. So again, it's not difficult, it's just the unknown. Every time you record, you want to make sure that you know not only that you love what you do and you, you do it for fun. And it is a release for me because I have a full time job. So when I come here, it's like it's a no brainer. I don't have to think hard. I'm just giving my true, raw self. And you want to make sure that what you're giving is being received. That's. That's for me. [00:04:04] Speaker A: Okay, next question. Yoshi, for you, what has been the most, like, what is the best thing about podcasting? About doing very necessary. Not just podcasting, but doing very necessary. [00:04:20] Speaker C: Doing it with my friends, doing something that I love with my friends. So, you know, we came in four deep, then you went down to three and you. Yeah, so. And now we at two. So 2.5. Yeah, 2.5. So my thing is, I feel like. But when you're doing what you love, it goes back to that old thing. Like name something that you would do and you would do it for free if you could. I would probably podcast for free and I wouldn't want to do it with anybody else than my girls. [00:05:00] Speaker B: I would definitely have to second that. I think for me, what I love about it is I get to be. I don't have to act or put. [00:05:10] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:05:11] Speaker B: You know, like when you're at work, you have to be like almost. [00:05:14] Speaker A: Code switch. [00:05:15] Speaker B: Yeah, code switching for sure. [00:05:18] Speaker A: Because you want, you really want to say F them Negroes. That's really what you want to say. [00:05:22] Speaker B: I don't have an HR right here. You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't have a Persona that I have to keep up, and I get to be just relaxed. [00:05:33] Speaker A: You get to be you. [00:05:33] Speaker B: I get to unwind, and the viewers and the listeners get to unwind with us. And we have so many moments when we are out, away from podcasting, and we have such a good time. We vibe very well together. And then just to come back and share those experiences with everyone. A lot of it's insiders, and I know the listeners won't catch on to it. You know, we have to give back stories, but it's just reliving moments again and again when we get to tell you about it. [00:06:06] Speaker A: And what I say is, y' all is the most traveling this podcast. [00:06:11] Speaker B: We ain't travel as much. [00:06:12] Speaker A: Hold on, hold on. Let me give. I'm gonna give y' all an idea. I'm gonna give y' all an idea that I think y' all should use for your show. All these trips y' all go on, y' all never, like, vlog them. And then when you. And when you come back, like, just post a vid. Just post the vlog from the episode from. [00:06:28] Speaker C: We're going to New York next week. [00:06:30] Speaker A: Yeah. So I would say everything you go to, like, I'll say, like, every single thing you do, I would say, like, vlog it. And then, you know, and then, I mean, even if you got to send it to an editor, have them edit it, and then post it on your TikTok, post it on your Instagram, I think that is. I think y' all could grow your brand so much through that. [00:06:46] Speaker B: I do. Because within the group, we have two really good Tik Tokers, or. [00:06:52] Speaker A: Yeah. Yoshi does a lot of Nurse Pretty. [00:06:55] Speaker B: Nurse Pretty does a lot of voiceover. And her. Her home girl, her other sis, her other half. Nick does a lot of voiceovers, and Nick does a lot of. [00:07:07] Speaker C: Nick is a fool. [00:07:08] Speaker B: Nick is a fool. And I can't wait for all of us to get together. [00:07:10] Speaker C: Yes. [00:07:11] Speaker B: And I know with the two of them, we got to do that Pink blush. I don't know the song. There's so many TikToks I have in my head that I want to do. We're going to do something. [00:07:26] Speaker C: We're gonna do something, but. [00:07:27] Speaker A: Okay. [00:07:28] Speaker C: It might not be Boomaka Locker. [00:07:30] Speaker A: It might not be something. [00:07:31] Speaker B: It's gonna be something. [00:07:32] Speaker A: Okay. [00:07:32] Speaker B: And I have. Not really. I have kind of taken a step back on social media, so I don't really post as much. [00:07:39] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. [00:07:39] Speaker B: You know, so I Think I'm maturing? [00:07:42] Speaker A: Yeah, but I think if y'. [00:07:43] Speaker C: All. [00:07:43] Speaker A: I think if y' all blocked, started your little YouTube channel, and every time y' all go on. On a trip, vlogging. [00:07:48] Speaker C: Well, I'm immaturing, okay? [00:07:50] Speaker B: You're immature. [00:07:51] Speaker A: You're immaturing. [00:07:52] Speaker C: I'm about to have a good old time. [00:07:53] Speaker A: Hey, listen, get out there and do what you gotta do. [00:07:56] Speaker B: Hello. [00:07:56] Speaker C: Okay. [00:07:57] Speaker A: All right, but let me ask y' all something. If somebody breaks up with their partner on Friday, is dating somebody new by Monday, is that a sign to heal or that somebody was on the side the whole time? [00:08:07] Speaker B: Somebody on the side the whole time. Ain't nobody healing that in three days, okay? You've done left a relationship long, long time ago, emotionally and physically. For you to break up with the person and then be into something else three days later. I mean, Jesus rose on the third day, they say, right? [00:08:27] Speaker A: Hey, listen, so a new relationship rises on the third day. [00:08:29] Speaker B: I mean, so anything can happen. [00:08:31] Speaker A: No, I'm saying, but if he rose on the third day, I could be reincarnated and rise on the third day [00:08:36] Speaker B: in a new relationship. That's weak, though. But, hey, we in America. [00:08:39] Speaker A: Yoshi, why you holding your mouth like that? Like you got your mouth all the way open? [00:08:42] Speaker C: Like, I mean, why we sitting around here waiting on this to. Cause like you said, like you said, there were signs. There were signs all along. And then here's the breakup. So how long I gotta sit around here and cry and not eat by this nigga who clearly been telling me for the last past couple months, may have been even years, that he don't want me no more? [00:09:08] Speaker B: I mean, you know, our motto is, we don't give too many tears too long. I give you, what, 24, maybe 48 hours of. Of my sorrows. And I believe in moving on, but I don't know if I'm ready to come out publicly. And, you know, an old player wants [00:09:27] Speaker C: a new player, once told me the best way to get over a woman [00:09:31] Speaker A: is to get under the new. Okay, well, Yoshi, let me ask you this. Can a new relationship help you heal, or should you come to that new relationship already healed? [00:09:43] Speaker C: I think it kind of depends on the damage or the baggage that you bring in from the old one. If he has a clean slate, she has a clean slate. I feel like, yeah, definitely. But if you one of them people who live in the past and, you know, you kind of hold people accountable for what somebody else did or, you know, you got remnants of. You got people who Starting new relationships with other motherfuckers. Oh, Lord. Can I say on your show. [00:10:15] Speaker A: Go ahead. [00:10:16] Speaker C: Do you think you got people who will start a new relationship with someone new and still be living with they old girlfriend? [00:10:25] Speaker A: Well, okay on. Okay, well, whose fault is that? Is that the old girlfriend for keep it letting them stay there or the old, what they call it the old mate that's cohabiting. [00:10:41] Speaker C: They may have a home and one person lives in their room and the other person lives in their room. [00:10:46] Speaker A: No, but I'm saying. [00:10:47] Speaker B: But do you think the person needs to form a new relationship while still in a situation but this. [00:10:54] Speaker A: But there are people who have no problem being going into the situation, going, oh, I know you live with your ex, but that's fine. [00:11:03] Speaker B: It's only fine until it's not fine. [00:11:05] Speaker C: I think that's fucking ridiculous. [00:11:07] Speaker B: It's only fine until it's not. It's only fine until it's not fine. [00:11:11] Speaker C: We about to spend the weekend together doing what we do. Doing the grown folks all weekend, horizontal hokey pokey, right? Acting like we cooking for each other, we hunching, we, you know, taking showers together. We practically on a goddamn honeymoon. [00:11:26] Speaker A: Okay? [00:11:27] Speaker C: And you about to leave here and go live back with, you know, for the next Monday through Friday with your ex. With your ex that you used to be doing the same thing that you doing with me a couple months ago. You out your. I know you fucking lying. [00:11:42] Speaker A: So, okay, so, Von, if your ex moves on in a week, does that mean they never loved you? [00:11:47] Speaker B: No, that means he just a whore. What? [00:11:51] Speaker A: So wouldn't that indicate that he didn't love you? Wait, why would you. Oh, hold on now, hold on now, hold on now. [00:11:59] Speaker B: If he moves on in the weed, that does not mean he did not love me. [00:12:04] Speaker A: We have a new show to the network called the no Sugar Coatin Podcast with Kelly. And she had her show Thursday. And on her show she asked the question, who is it easier to move on for? Is it easier for men to move on or is it easier for women to move on? And I believe at our age it doesn't matter, men or women, a woman, a woman at our age is going to be like, oh, well, okay, that's another one. Let me, let me move on. And I think for men at any age, I think because it's like emotionally we can move on from the emotion of it. It's easier for us to move on for men to move on. [00:12:47] Speaker C: That's what I was going to say. [00:12:48] Speaker A: Than it is for women to move on. Because it's easier for men to separate. It's easier for men to separate. But you like a man. Both of y' all act like men anyway. Because y', all, y' all have the mentality of men. [00:12:58] Speaker B: Because men be tricking, not tricking and [00:13:02] Speaker A: like, you know, but ain't tricking. If you guys. You just said it on your episode last week. [00:13:05] Speaker B: But men like to trick women. Like, they're not emotional. They are. [00:13:09] Speaker A: No, I'm not. I'm not. [00:13:11] Speaker B: They. [00:13:11] Speaker A: I'm not saying. [00:13:12] Speaker B: Just put it on. [00:13:13] Speaker A: I am not saying that we are not emotional because we are caught up in the corner. [00:13:16] Speaker B: We are but in your thumb, in your mouth, but at the end of [00:13:20] Speaker A: the position, but at the end of the day. And you're right. I'm not saying you're not. I just think it's easier for men to move on because the emotion gets like. We might be emotional for a day or two, but eventually we're gonna go to that mirror, man. Boy, if you don't take nothing, you know why? [00:13:34] Speaker B: Because y' all moved on to the next chick whether. Whether you like her, like her or not. She just something to buy time. [00:13:40] Speaker A: And I don't know about that. I don't know about that, man. Buy time. That's. [00:13:44] Speaker B: Yeah. Because men don't like to be lonely. Women, we will sit in our loneliness and we will absorb and we will. We will call off dates and we will not entertain. But men won't do the same thing. Men won't do the same thing. So [00:14:05] Speaker C: the woman is going to go into a shell. Cause she's analyzing what happened, what went wrong. Like she's replaying it. Men instinctively are going to. Well, shit, I gotta get back out in the game. I gotta, you know, not see what [00:14:23] Speaker B: they wanna sleep with the person. But they entertain. [00:14:26] Speaker A: I get what you're saying. But the reason being. And I don't think it's because we lack the emotion. I just think that we're easier. We kinda get over that we're ready to move on. Because I think for men, y' all [00:14:42] Speaker B: think y' all ready to move on. On until y' all see the other woman. I moved on. Then he. In your feelings. [00:14:47] Speaker A: No, no, no. I just think that's. That's something that. I think that's a farce that women have come up with. Because. Yeah, because I've heard that from so many. Like, oh, my God, he was good till he saw me. I was. Until he saw me with somebody else. [00:15:00] Speaker B: I've. [00:15:01] Speaker A: I, I have never me personally because you're a Capricorn. I've never looked at an ex and been like, well, you moved on, so now I'm gonna be in your shoot. My ex wife got married within a month of us getting divorced. I was like, okay. My. One of my exes is with her, you know, has been with her boyfriend for, you know, a while now. And. Shoot, me and her cool and me him cool. You know, I. I don't. I've never looked at. Because I think if we were supposed to be together, we would still be together. I'm not about to sit here and we. Because no matter how we broke up, whether you cheated on me, I cheated on you, whether we just came to an agreement of, hey, this just ain't working. Because everyone has been in that position where the both of us are just not happy. It's just not working for us. Or whether it's. It wasn't working for you. And now I had to come to grips with the fact that it wasn't working for you. So now through conversation or even if you cut me off or ghost me, I think that's the one thing I probably struggle with a little bit, is being ghosted. And the main thing about that is just the not knowing. And I kind of like a. I wouldn't say I'm not a control freak, but I need to know everything. And if I don't know, that's what bothers me more than the ghosting. But at the end of the day, why am I sitting there going, I'm mad now because you done moved on? Okay. Like, all right. Are you happy? That's fine. Yoshi, would you date somebody who admitted that you were their rebound? I mean, isn't there something to the. Isn't there something to the honesty of it? I think because all women say they want honesty. [00:16:53] Speaker C: Now, I do appreciate the honesty, however, [00:16:56] Speaker A: all women say they want honesty. [00:16:58] Speaker C: Just the fact. [00:16:58] Speaker A: Be real. [00:16:59] Speaker C: Just the fact that you needed to come at me and express that I'm the rebound. Yeah, we not doing that now. You can say, hey, I'm ready to make a fresh start. You seem like the type of woman that could bring new energy and happiness to my situation, but to use that term, right. You gonna be a great rebound? No, sir, it's not what. That's like saying you'll be some great leftovers. [00:17:31] Speaker B: No, it's not what you say. It's how you say it, right? [00:17:34] Speaker A: No. Okay, so how can I say, hey, you know what, baby? You my rebound? [00:17:38] Speaker B: No, that's not how you say It. [00:17:41] Speaker A: Don't say it, Mr. Words. [00:17:43] Speaker B: No, we need to get your vocabulary together. [00:17:46] Speaker C: So you could even say, well, I just got out of something. And I would be like, you know what? Well, if you just got out of something, we don't know if you all the way through going through that. So take some time so you can reevaluate, reassess, whatever the situation. Okay? Cause you might find yourself in a few days missing Chaqueta, and you wanna go back over there with her. And I don't want you to decide that when we 10, 11 weeks in. Cause then I'm gonna beat both of y' all ass for wasting my goddamn time. [00:18:20] Speaker B: I think at some point, and not saying a rebound is a terrible word. It's just how you phrase it. I think when a new relationship, a new friendship, a new something starts and you know that person, you're in conversation, you're talking about my previous, and I just ended this relationship. I mean, you're in. You're in something with this person. Now, I might be a rebound because you're trying to get over this last thing. [00:18:50] Speaker C: And. [00:18:51] Speaker B: But don't tell me I'm a rebound. Like, I'm kind and it's not even, [00:18:56] Speaker A: yeah, yeah, yeah, rebound. [00:18:58] Speaker B: But you know what I'm saying? Like, it's just how you see it. [00:19:00] Speaker C: There's nothing about the word rebound that's positive. [00:19:03] Speaker B: No. You know what I'm saying? [00:19:04] Speaker C: You can't in basketball [00:19:07] Speaker B: because I missed a shot. Somebody else from you. [00:19:11] Speaker C: There's no way rebound is ever good. It's a bad word. [00:19:15] Speaker B: It's. [00:19:15] Speaker C: Maybe rebound. [00:19:17] Speaker B: Use a different word. Like you need the vocabulary to come. [00:19:22] Speaker A: So do y' all think it's possible to love somebody new while missing somebody old? [00:19:29] Speaker C: Yes. [00:19:31] Speaker B: Yes. That's human emotion. Like you. Yeah. You got to. Yes, I believe that it is possible. [00:19:37] Speaker A: Okay. [00:19:38] Speaker C: My husband has been deceased 10 years this month. And I have carried him into every relationship that I've been in since then. I know that's not. [00:19:48] Speaker A: Don't get me started. [00:19:50] Speaker C: Lord, please don't. [00:19:52] Speaker A: Don't get me started. [00:19:54] Speaker C: And I have carried that because I need to know. I need these men to know how I need and deserve to be loved. And he is the only man who has ever come close and surpassed what I have ever known. And I have not experienced anything to that degree since then. So have I had very strong feelings for some men since then? Yes. And I still love my husband, but [00:20:28] Speaker B: I think that's a little different, because no matter how long ago, you are always in mourning. [00:20:35] Speaker A: State. [00:20:36] Speaker B: It doesn't matter if it was 10 years ago, 20 years ago, or two minutes ago. Yeah. You're gonna always be in that state. Be in that state. So as a fair assessment, I would say that's the inevitable. Let's just say outside of your husband, another past relationship, and you probably never felt a love like that before, that you can even say, I've witnessed or I've been in a situation. [00:21:05] Speaker A: And I think to a certain degree, I think a breakup different. A breakup's different than mourning. I think to a certain degree, you mourn every relationship. But I would like to believe from the way you talk about your husband, from the way you talk about your husband, if he had not passed, y' all would still be married today. [00:21:26] Speaker B: We would. [00:21:27] Speaker A: So I think that that's the thing about your marriage and the difference of regular dating somebody or being in a relationship. And to a certain degree, I think that's kind of why that you're in that space and be able to feel that is because to a certain degree, I think you feel cheated. You know, you got cheated out of a lifetime. Out of a lifetime. But, you know, gonna shift a little bit. I think we got a little, you know, sad for us in here, but make sure y' all stay with us, because later we're reading a letter from somebody who might be the new partner, the rebound, or the person who never actually left the old relationship emotionally. And our guests are going to have to choose sides. Yeah, we got a advice letter coming up, and you guys are going to have to choose a side. Let's get into this. This topic today. First off, can somebody be emotionally ready before the ex thinks they should be? So, Vaughn, so, like, before your ex thinks that they're ready, should. Should somebody. Because could somebody be ready? [00:22:37] Speaker B: Could someone be emotional? [00:22:39] Speaker A: Like. Like, fast doesn't automatically mean. You know, doesn't mean bad. Like, just because I move on fast doesn't mean that, you know, you're like, what we had is negative, is diminished. You know what I'm saying? It's not a. It's not a thing where you're smaller because I moved on. It's, you know, maybe I moved on because I met someone who I'm ready to move on with, and I was. I got over us because I think getting over a relationship, and this is me getting over a relationship doesn't have any time. It could take me two days or it could take me two months or could take me two years. And it doesn't. That doesn't negate how Important the relationship was. That just means where I am in my life, am I ready to move on? And I think the older you get, the quicker you. You're going to move on. Because you have more yesterdays than you have tomorrow's, right? So as much as we don't want our time wasted, because I don't want my time wasted. And no woman wants the time wasted. Last time I wasted somebody time, they stole my trash can. But I'm not trying to do none of that stuff. Don't even get me started. I'm not trying to deal with any of that. So nine times out of 10, if you tell me or you. You go to me and it's like. [00:23:59] Speaker B: Or if you ghost me, repeat the question one more time. [00:24:03] Speaker A: The question is, can somebody be emotionally ready before their ex thinks they should be? Because that's to your point, like your ex. Kind of as soon as you move on, they good until you move on and your ex is in your inbox. Like, what are you doing? I see you taking pictures and I see you. This. You know what I'm saying? So can you be ready before your ex thinks you are? [00:24:23] Speaker B: I think so. Because I'm my own person. I can't move at the pace you want me to move or you think I should move? Even if. Even if I'm moving fast than you think I am. Let me worry about that. Yeah, that's not for you to worry about. You don't have to be my savior. And I've seen in some relationships where they. The ex is still trying to hold on to. I think you're doing this. Well, you know what? When we were together, you wasn't doing any of this. So. So let me. [00:24:58] Speaker C: Well, as a. As a Scorpio, you don't get over me. God damn it. [00:25:04] Speaker B: What do you. [00:25:05] Speaker C: What do you think. The nerve of you. What do you think you're doing? So what are you saying? That you are happier where you're at with this new person than you were with me? How dare you? [00:25:18] Speaker A: Yes, I am happier. [00:25:19] Speaker C: Bullshit. [00:25:20] Speaker A: I'm happier. But how you gonna tell me I'm [00:25:23] Speaker C: not happier with this woman? [00:25:24] Speaker A: You don't know. [00:25:25] Speaker C: We got. [00:25:26] Speaker B: We got so in the five minutes that I've known her may have been more than the five years we ever been together, because all we did was complain and argue. [00:25:36] Speaker A: Let me ask a question. [00:25:36] Speaker C: When me and you first met and got together, this is when. This is what it was, Asshole. [00:25:42] Speaker A: No, no, no, no, no. Let me ask a question. Let me ask a question. [00:25:45] Speaker C: Yes. [00:25:45] Speaker A: Have you Never been. Let me ask both of y'. [00:25:47] Speaker C: All. [00:25:47] Speaker A: So this is both of you. Answer. [00:25:49] Speaker B: Okay. [00:25:49] Speaker A: Have you never. Never been in a situation where a person you was with for a long time and a person comes into your life and you move faster with them because the connection was just there earlier? And you end up. It almost ends up feeling like, oh, my God, like, it took me forever to get to this point with this guy and with this dude, it's like instantaneous. Whether it ended up lasting or not, you end up in a place where it's like, yo, I feel so much, so quick for this situation. So much faster than I did for this situation. Because I don't think time dictates anything. [00:26:29] Speaker B: I think different people bring out different things than you. [00:26:32] Speaker A: Yes. [00:26:33] Speaker B: So in that aspect, I just think that you're right. We weren't vibing. We were on the same frequency and [00:26:43] Speaker A: at the same time. [00:26:44] Speaker B: At the same time. And things happen, situations happen. And you can't really compare the two because the people are different. [00:26:54] Speaker A: Okay. [00:26:55] Speaker B: That's only. That's the only comparison you can say is you two are not the same. This person brings out something different in me then versus you, and so you is. There's no comparing. Only person that can. I can judge is myself on how I move. [00:27:08] Speaker A: That's what I'm saying. I'm not saying it's a comparison. I'm just saying, like, sometimes you could end up, like, you'd be like, oh, my. Like, you know, you catch yourself sometimes. Stuff been moving quickly, and you go, oh, my God. [00:27:17] Speaker B: Like, I've been in there. [00:27:19] Speaker A: How did I end up here so quick with this dude in my last relationship? It took forever for me to get to this point. Like, this dude didn't buy me flowers until week. Seven months of me hinting towards these damn flowers. This dude been buying me flowers each week. So does that diminish what you had with the other person? [00:27:39] Speaker B: I don't think it diminishes it. I think you. It's just lessons. I think it's just, you know, no regrets, Right? It should be no regrets. [00:27:50] Speaker A: Never live. Right. [00:27:50] Speaker B: Yeah. No regret. [00:27:51] Speaker A: Well, you gotta learn to live with regret. [00:27:53] Speaker B: Yeah. So you. I. I just said what was for that person, and me and that person was for that. [00:28:00] Speaker C: You better make sure you happy over there, cuz you ain't bringing your ass back over here. God damn it. [00:28:05] Speaker A: Why not? We can't. We can't revisit. [00:28:07] Speaker C: No. [00:28:07] Speaker B: So there's no. What they call it, circling back or [00:28:10] Speaker C: you got spin the block no more. [00:28:12] Speaker B: Spin the block. [00:28:13] Speaker C: Absolutely not. Okay. Absolutely not. You was. [00:28:16] Speaker A: So there's nobody in your. [00:28:17] Speaker C: So there's nobody over there. [00:28:20] Speaker A: So there's nobody in your past you spend the block with? [00:28:24] Speaker C: Absolutely. No. [00:28:25] Speaker B: If I. [00:28:26] Speaker C: If I wasn't. [00:28:27] Speaker B: No, I didn't say that, though, but you. [00:28:29] Speaker A: You showed all them white jeans. [00:28:30] Speaker C: If I wasn't good enough. If I wasn't good enough the first time around, I ain't gonna be good enough to second. [00:28:35] Speaker A: But what if you left the situation and he's like, yo, you know what I'm saying? Like, what if you was his and you decided that he wasn't yours? But now. You know what I'm saying? You know, he done turned. He done turned that corner. [00:28:47] Speaker C: If you wasn't the one back then, you ain't gonna be the one now. [00:28:50] Speaker B: So basically, they want to spend the block with you, but you ain't trying to spend the block with them. [00:28:55] Speaker C: Absolutely not. You didn't know what you had the first time. I hate it for you, brother. [00:29:00] Speaker B: Okay, so would you allow someone to spend the block with you? Like, not. [00:29:04] Speaker A: So once it's done, it's done. [00:29:05] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:29:06] Speaker A: No second chances? [00:29:07] Speaker B: No, I don't really care for second chances either, to be honest. [00:29:11] Speaker A: Doesn't it. Does it not determine how things ended up? Shouldn't that determine whether it's a second chance or not? How did things end? [00:29:20] Speaker B: It could end in music. [00:29:21] Speaker C: See, that's one of them words like rebound. [00:29:24] Speaker A: No, it's not. [00:29:24] Speaker C: Rebound, motherfucker ended. It wasn't good. [00:29:27] Speaker B: This is how it is. [00:29:27] Speaker C: Why the hell did it happen? [00:29:32] Speaker A: So everything that ended for you ended in a bad terms. [00:29:34] Speaker C: But what's a good ending? [00:29:36] Speaker B: We decided that we're better off as friends than we are as lovers. [00:29:39] Speaker C: Right? So then you gonna. So then you gonna go sleep with this fool again and then realize, see, [00:29:45] Speaker B: this why we should have just been [00:29:46] Speaker C: friends, Because I knew this shit was gonna come back up again. This why I stopped with your ass first time. God damn it. See, I'm stupid. I shouldn't even did this shit. [00:29:57] Speaker B: Can't say that. [00:29:59] Speaker C: That's why. That's why I just stay by myself. [00:30:02] Speaker B: Some people are just better off as friends. And you are in a good friend space with that person because romantically, none of that stuff worked out right. [00:30:15] Speaker C: And it ain't gonna work this time either. [00:30:16] Speaker B: No. Not even. Not even as a friend? [00:30:20] Speaker C: Yeah. I mean, yeah, it's for cool. You stay over there, but you can't get no milk. [00:30:24] Speaker B: You can't go out. No, we. No, there's no milk? [00:30:26] Speaker C: No, I don't want to go out. Cause we gonna go out and eat and be looking at each other. Then we gonna want to do something [00:30:32] Speaker B: so y' all don't see each other like that no more. So. So there's no looking. [00:30:36] Speaker C: No. [00:30:36] Speaker B: You're not even romantically in. [00:30:38] Speaker C: Keep the temptation away. [00:30:39] Speaker A: Keep the temptation away. So you can't do it because of temptation on you? [00:30:44] Speaker B: I think I could do it. [00:30:47] Speaker C: I don't even want the temptation on him. See, when he come around me and see me. Cause I'm gonna look good, I'm gonna smell good. I'm gonna be tantalizing. He gonna want me. [00:30:56] Speaker B: Tantalizing. [00:30:57] Speaker C: He gonna want me. [00:30:58] Speaker B: That's like a nice. [00:30:59] Speaker A: I'm gonna be tantalizing. Yes. [00:31:01] Speaker C: And I don't want to have to. To, you know, refuse you, especially if it was good. You know that's right. So just stay away from me, sir. We're no good for each other. [00:31:12] Speaker A: Leave me alone. Yeah, all right. All right. We're gonna have some. We're gonna do some rapid questions real quick, so you got 30 seconds to answer. Well, I'm gonna give you less than that. Five seconds to answer. All right. Have you ever dated someone partly because you wanted to forget someone else? [00:31:28] Speaker C: Yes, of course. [00:31:29] Speaker A: Okay. Have you ever gone back to an ex after telling everybody you were done? [00:31:35] Speaker B: Yes. Yes. [00:31:38] Speaker C: Yeah, I have. [00:31:39] Speaker A: Okay. Have you ever stalked an ex. New partner online? [00:31:43] Speaker B: Yes, sir. Justin, I got your ass. Well, have I. The. [00:31:52] Speaker A: The. The new partner? [00:31:54] Speaker B: Yeah. No. [00:31:55] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. I found that ho. [00:31:58] Speaker B: What? [00:31:59] Speaker C: Found her. Know all about you. [00:32:02] Speaker B: Whole nother show right there. [00:32:06] Speaker C: I'm a Scorpio. This what we do. [00:32:09] Speaker A: The best investigators in the world. [00:32:11] Speaker C: Goddamn right. [00:32:12] Speaker B: And I'm the hype woman, and you the hype woman. I'm not the hype woman Yet. [00:32:17] Speaker A: Have you ever posted a relationship online specifically for someone else to see? [00:32:21] Speaker B: Oh, yes. [00:32:22] Speaker C: Absolutely not. The only man I ever posted online was my husband. They saw about two, three pictures, and that was the end of that. You don't even know what I'm doing. [00:32:31] Speaker B: I did it on purpose, though. [00:32:32] Speaker A: Okay. So I had a purpose. Okay. Why'd you do it on purpose? [00:32:36] Speaker B: Cause I had to make people know. Being messy. [00:32:40] Speaker A: Being messy. [00:32:41] Speaker B: Being messy. But I only did it once. [00:32:43] Speaker A: Okay. Cause a friend of the show, India, she says, I'm not posting my man, because the last time I posted my man, somebody effed him through the floor, like, dang. And she says every. You know, So I think that's the thing. Some people don't want to post their mate because they feel like it's going to open up them to, you know, open up their mate to being. [00:33:06] Speaker C: I hate to say it, but when people don't follow each other on when people see you happy or with someone because you got haters everywhere. The minute I posted my wedding pictures, my inbox blew up. My husband's inbox blew up and he was like, you happy now? This is the shit that I did not want to happen. I don't want people to have to come to me that don't like you and say ill shit about you and then I can't defend you. Like I need to. [00:33:39] Speaker A: Okay, but that's the thing. That's the thing. I think that. And you said something because the last person I posted was my ex wife 2011. That's the last female I've posted on my social media. My ex wife, 2011. And I don't think I've taken those pictures now, but I probably need to. But I mean, I probably need to. But I'm just saying, like, I think that you should CL says it on the show. He said it multiple times in the since 2019. No, no, no. He says you should court exclusively. Court privately, date exclusively, marry publicly. [00:34:26] Speaker C: I believe it. [00:34:26] Speaker A: Yeah. I think that you. I don't need to see your relationship. [00:34:31] Speaker B: Right. [00:34:32] Speaker A: Every single. Like you in something today, and then two months from now you're in something else and then you're posting something he said. [00:34:40] Speaker C: Date exclusively. [00:34:41] Speaker A: Yeah. Date exclusively in court. Court privately. Date exclusively, marry publicly. [00:34:47] Speaker C: Okay. [00:34:47] Speaker B: I definitely agree with every. The order. Yes. [00:34:50] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. I think it's. I think that you can. If you do it privately. And. And I think some women and men. Because Jay with the Inc. From the Peas in the Pot podcast, catch him every Tuesday live. He's big on. She has to post him because he's like, nah, nah. These other dudes need to know that I'm posted that you have somebody. And that's not necessarily my take. I said, you know, why is that a thing? He's like, no, no, no, no. Cause these dudes. Because these women. And it just come off a little bit as trust issue. Ish. On both ends. [00:35:29] Speaker C: Yeah, I don't like that. [00:35:31] Speaker B: See, I don't follow. We don't follow each other on social media. [00:35:34] Speaker C: We turn roll like that. [00:35:36] Speaker B: I. I don't. [00:35:36] Speaker C: You and your boo. [00:35:37] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:35:38] Speaker C: Y' all don't find. [00:35:39] Speaker B: Yeah, no, I've never, never was inclined to do so because I like the space that I'm in and I don't have Time for the riff raff. [00:35:49] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:35:50] Speaker B: All the. The. [00:35:51] Speaker A: The foolishness and all that that comes with it. [00:35:52] Speaker B: I have guys that like my post or make comments who this. Keep control what other people do. I'm going tell you make comments all day long. If that's the case, I ain't even [00:36:03] Speaker A: going to put that on this podcast. [00:36:04] Speaker B: And the same thing goes for him. Like, we are out publicly. We don't hold anything back. We date exclusively. We keep things private. And I agree. Once it's time to pop out, we pop out. [00:36:19] Speaker A: Yeah. And I think the only time it's time to pop out is when we both in wedding outfits and we chilling. [00:36:26] Speaker C: I'm single till I'm married. [00:36:28] Speaker A: Now it's time for the show that everybody comes for us to either or segment. You guys have not been here for the either or segment. So here's how it works, okay? You have to choose. And I have to say this to every woman that comes on this show. You have to choose one or the other. No explanation, no riding the fence, no I might. No or no nothing. It is what it is. You have to choose one or the other. Okay? All right, first one. Would you rather your ex gets married three months after you break up or your ex dates your best friend three days after you break up, get married three months. [00:37:03] Speaker B: Three months afterwards? I'm too old to go to jail. [00:37:07] Speaker C: I can't. I'm shooting up the motherfucking city. [00:37:10] Speaker B: I can't. [00:37:11] Speaker C: If I see you with my best [00:37:13] Speaker B: friend, it's gonna be some slow scene. You better tell yourself, Tell your mother goodbye. Don't get married. That's your best option. [00:37:24] Speaker A: All right, all right, next one. Would you rather date someone who calls you their soulmate but still has the ex as their emergency contact, or date someone who deleted every picture of the ex but still knows their phone number by heart? [00:37:39] Speaker C: I mean, yeah, he can know it's her phone number by heart. I mean, he might have been with her for a long time. [00:37:44] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:37:45] Speaker A: Okay. Would you rather your ex sees you happy with someone new or your ex sees you alone, thriving, paid peaceful and completely unavailable? [00:37:54] Speaker C: Alone, thriving, paid peaceful. Getting money, sucker. [00:37:59] Speaker B: Free living fly finest. [00:38:01] Speaker C: I'm fine as I ever been since I shook that nigga my money up. I'm about to graduate. [00:38:09] Speaker B: I'm on that right there. I don't care if you see me with. [00:38:12] Speaker C: I'm glad your ass gone. [00:38:13] Speaker B: You was in the way, an empty phone or occupied seat. But you're gonna see me thrive. [00:38:20] Speaker A: You gonna see me thrive. Okay. Would you rather your new partner accidentally calls you by their ex's name during an argument, or your new partner call you, calls you their ex's name during an intimate moment, then says, well, y' all do have the same birthday. [00:38:38] Speaker B: Argument. Argument. An argument. Cause, see, me and her may argue the same, but what you're not gonna do is be horizontal playing. What? [00:38:49] Speaker A: You said the horizontal. [00:38:51] Speaker B: The horizontal hokey pokey and call me old girl name. We not doing that. [00:38:57] Speaker A: Which I do the same things. [00:38:59] Speaker B: We don't do the same thing. I promise you that. We don't. So your best bet is you better call me that in the argument. [00:39:10] Speaker A: You ain't SEO. [00:39:11] Speaker C: I'm getting up and put my clothes on. [00:39:13] Speaker A: So which one? Which one? [00:39:16] Speaker C: I probably would say the first one. [00:39:18] Speaker A: The argument. [00:39:19] Speaker B: Yeah. We in a passionate moment, you call me. [00:39:22] Speaker C: What, you lost your mother trying to [00:39:25] Speaker B: get the corner to come in? We about to have something to claim your body or your mother. [00:39:31] Speaker C: Now we about to come visit you at the hospital. [00:39:34] Speaker A: All right, all right. Would you rather find out your partner started dating you to make their ex jealous or find out their ex doesn't even know you exist because your partner is keeping both relationships emotionally alive? [00:39:48] Speaker C: I'mma say both. [00:39:50] Speaker A: No, you can't say both. It's one or the other. [00:39:53] Speaker B: Say that first one again. [00:39:55] Speaker A: Would you rather find out your partner started dating you to make their ex jealous or find out their ex doesn't even know you exist because your partner is keeping both relationships emotionally alive? [00:40:09] Speaker B: Oh, that's hard. [00:40:11] Speaker C: I could probably go with number two, because I could see her being very intimidated if she knew that I was replacing her. [00:40:20] Speaker B: But he's keeping both active. He's keeping both of the relationships. [00:40:24] Speaker C: Yeah, because he might not think he could keep up with me, so he might need to stick with something safe. Okay. Find you something safe to do, Baby, [00:40:32] Speaker B: you might not be able to. That's a hard one for me. [00:40:34] Speaker C: You might not be able to handle all this. [00:40:37] Speaker B: Taking that concept, two sounds the better option. [00:40:40] Speaker A: Okay, okay. [00:40:42] Speaker B: Because he got to play it safe with somebody. [00:40:44] Speaker A: He gotta play it safe, and you ain't the one to play it safe with. [00:40:46] Speaker C: No. [00:40:47] Speaker A: Okay. [00:40:48] Speaker B: At all. [00:40:48] Speaker A: All right. Would you rather. Would you rather your ex text, I miss you the night before your wedding, or your ex text, I always knew you'd come back the night before the night you announce your engagement. [00:41:06] Speaker C: Wait a minute. Is the ex that I'm getting married to? [00:41:11] Speaker A: No, no, no. Your ex texts you the first one. Your ex texts you, I miss you the night before your wedding or Your ex texts you. I always knew you'd come back the night before you announce your engagement. [00:41:25] Speaker B: And which one? [00:41:26] Speaker C: Oh, but why would he say I knew you were coming back? [00:41:29] Speaker A: Because you and him. No, you and him are getting engaged now. [00:41:33] Speaker B: Oh. Oh, I guess the second one. Yeah, the second one. [00:41:39] Speaker A: The second one. Yeah. [00:41:40] Speaker C: Okay. [00:41:40] Speaker A: All right. Last. Last set. All right. Would you rather your partner ask you to block your ex but they still follow every ex they ever had? Or your new partner blocks their ex but secretly checks their page through their cousin's account? [00:41:56] Speaker B: He better secretly check that cousin number two. Yes, all day long. Number two. They loan number two. [00:42:03] Speaker A: All right, last one. Your new partner blocks their ex. I'm sorry. Sorry. Would you rather be the person your ex regrets losing or be the person your ex's new partner secretly compares themselves to? [00:42:18] Speaker C: He regrets losing me. [00:42:19] Speaker B: Yeah. I want nobody to compare themselves to [00:42:21] Speaker C: me because you're not going to be me, baby. [00:42:23] Speaker B: Yeah, never. [00:42:24] Speaker C: Not on your best day and not on my worst. [00:42:27] Speaker B: Yeah, don't compare yourself to me cuz you might die trying you might die [00:42:30] Speaker C: trying on trying to keep up with me Sugar, you going to be crippled but that man, it's a lot to [00:42:37] Speaker B: keep up with me he going to [00:42:38] Speaker C: regret it cuz I took the sunshine when I left. [00:42:40] Speaker A: Damn. Not the sunshine. [00:42:41] Speaker C: Darkness all around you for the rest of your life. [00:42:45] Speaker A: All right, so we're going to take a few minutes here and get into our advice letter. If you want to submit your advice letter, make sure you submitted to dilemmaslationshipstatuspodcast.com that's dilemmasalationshipstatuspodcast.com and we got a good one. Here it says Dear relationship status. I recently started dating someone who got out of a five year relationship about six weeks before we met. At first everything was amazing. They called me every day, wanted to see me constantly, talked about traveling together and said they had never felt this understood by anyone. But lately things have changed. They still bring up their ex during conversations. Sometimes they compare things I do to things their ex used to. They told me they don't want to get back with their ex, but they still check their social media and get upset when they see pictures of them having fun. Last week we had an argument and they said my ex never made me feel this way. I asked whether they were still in love with their ex and they said they didn't know. Now I'm wondering whether I'm building a real relationship or just helping someone survive a breakup. I really like this person and I don't want to walk away from something that could become something serious. But I also don't want to spend six months proving I'm better than someone who isn't even in the relationship anymore. Am I being insecure or am I somebody's rebound? Should I give this relationship more time or should I walk away? Signed, the possible placeholder. [00:44:11] Speaker B: The possible placeholder. Girl, do not put all your eggs in one basket. Go and date and. And have fun until he's serious and ready. He will come around. Until then, you're wasting your time. [00:44:24] Speaker A: That. [00:44:24] Speaker B: That's how I'm seeing. I mean, short, sweet, simple, to the point. [00:44:27] Speaker A: Do you think. Do you think they're wasting their time? [00:44:29] Speaker B: I really. [00:44:30] Speaker C: Yeah. Because she. [00:44:30] Speaker B: If any relationship that you're in and if you have to ask the questions and feel unsure and uncertain about it is not. You're not ready. You're not ready. You should not have those questions. Am I a placeholder? Do you feel like a placeholder? Answer that question, yes or no. [00:44:50] Speaker C: She already answered her question. She. [00:44:53] Speaker B: She's looking for a different. She's looking for a different answer. [00:44:59] Speaker C: What's all them things that she said about which one he does? Hold on. Go back. [00:45:04] Speaker B: He secretly checks. [00:45:05] Speaker A: I mean he started dating some he called her every day, wanted to see her constantly talked about traveling together. [00:45:14] Speaker C: Got you. But go back to what he's still doing for the exact same he checked on her social media sometimes compares things [00:45:20] Speaker A: I do to their ex used to do told me they didn't want to get back with the ex but he still checks their social media and gets Excuse me when they see my ex [00:45:31] Speaker C: would never make me girl, he don't even like you. He don't even like you. He still love this goddamn girl. [00:45:36] Speaker B: He probably still tried to be he didn't love her. He doesn't like the new girl he don't like enough. [00:45:41] Speaker C: He don't like you more than her. [00:45:43] Speaker B: How about that? He's not willing to separate or sever whatever he had previously because why is he going back checking? You already know what you lost or what you don't have no more. So what you going back and checking. Wait a minute. [00:45:56] Speaker C: Nigga feel so comfortable to talk to you about this other woman. I would have slapped the shit out that man the first time he mentioned [00:46:05] Speaker B: this was oh yeah, no. [00:46:07] Speaker C: Really? Well, go be with her. [00:46:10] Speaker B: But she really likes. [00:46:11] Speaker C: Get out of my spouse. [00:46:12] Speaker A: I mean she really likes him. She's a. [00:46:14] Speaker B: Well, he don't like you, right? Somebody gotta be true to girl, where your friends? Where's your Friends. [00:46:18] Speaker C: Where's your friends? Clearly, you don't have a friend like Yosh. [00:46:22] Speaker B: Cause a lot of them, if you [00:46:23] Speaker C: don't wrap that shit up and be done with it, we're done with that. [00:46:28] Speaker A: But is it that easy to be done with something that quick? [00:46:31] Speaker B: Because nothing started what started. [00:46:33] Speaker C: You're not that hard. [00:46:33] Speaker B: Nothing has started. [00:46:34] Speaker A: True. [00:46:36] Speaker B: All she has is her emotions wrapped up. [00:46:38] Speaker C: Right? [00:46:38] Speaker B: And that's the worst thing you can do as a woman is get yourself wrapped up emotionally over someone that's unavailable to you. [00:46:44] Speaker A: Wait, hold on now. You can't say he's emotionally unavailable. [00:46:48] Speaker B: He is emotionally unavailable. He doesn't want to be with the ex. [00:46:51] Speaker A: Who says he wants to be with the ex? [00:46:53] Speaker C: He do. [00:46:53] Speaker B: It's not that he want to be with her. He is still clocking what the ex is doing and coming. [00:46:59] Speaker C: He too vested still in her life. [00:47:01] Speaker A: Okay, so y' all have never been in a situation where you. You. You're over it. Like, you're over it. But you didn't block this person. You didn't. Well, then. Then again, he was looking at it from his cousin's account. [00:47:13] Speaker B: Yes. You got the sneak. [00:47:16] Speaker A: Yeah. That's a little. That's a little girl. [00:47:18] Speaker C: Creepy. [00:47:19] Speaker A: That's a little stalkerish. That's a little stalkerish. [00:47:21] Speaker B: So she probably blocked him. That's what I'm thinking. The new. [00:47:24] Speaker C: The. [00:47:24] Speaker B: The ex girl probably got him on block. So that's why he got to go to the cousin's account. [00:47:30] Speaker A: Let me go back, girl. [00:47:31] Speaker B: Bye. You with someone who don't want to be with you, Right? [00:47:35] Speaker C: And who's to say the only reason that they only reason they're not together is because the other girl broke up with him? Maybe he didn't want the relationship to be over with. [00:47:45] Speaker A: Now, let me say this. This is the line that kind of. Listen, I ain't the smartest man in the world, but I know there's certain things you shouldn't say. My ex never made me feel this way. [00:47:56] Speaker C: See, right there, last week, we had [00:47:57] Speaker B: an argument, and they said my ex never would feel this way. You compare it right where he said the response. [00:48:06] Speaker A: See, the women I have dealt with in my past. [00:48:08] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:48:09] Speaker A: The response from that line alone, we [00:48:12] Speaker C: had been driving on 95. Whatever exit we was at, that's what he was. That's why I would have let your ass out the car. [00:48:22] Speaker B: My ex never. [00:48:23] Speaker C: And you tell your ex to pick that up. Pick your ass up, since she would have never said that to you. [00:48:30] Speaker A: So let's answer her question. So do you think that she's being insecure, or is she somebody's remount? [00:48:37] Speaker B: I don't think she's being insecure. [00:48:39] Speaker C: I don't think she's being either. I think you're being a dummy. You're a dummy bitch. [00:48:44] Speaker B: Well, that's what. [00:48:45] Speaker C: Look, that's what Monique said on Precious. You're a dummy. [00:48:49] Speaker A: So. So you're. So basically you're saying to her, last question, should I give this relationship more time or should I walk away? So basically you're saying she should walk away? [00:48:56] Speaker C: Of course not. Not walk. Run. [00:49:00] Speaker B: Yeah. Give it no more energy. Give it no more time, no more thought, no more. And I hope you didn't. Did you get the cookies up, girl? [00:49:10] Speaker A: Of course you get the cookies up. [00:49:11] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. [00:49:12] Speaker C: See that got. [00:49:13] Speaker A: She made that noise right there. [00:49:15] Speaker C: Okay. [00:49:15] Speaker A: Oh, my goodness. [00:49:16] Speaker C: See that Goddamn tender. [00:49:17] Speaker B: Of course she had. [00:49:18] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. [00:49:20] Speaker B: And it was good, too. [00:49:21] Speaker C: That's why she saw. [00:49:22] Speaker B: When a man is serious about you, it's going to be you. Is it you? Nothing in his past is going to come up in his present that he can control. [00:49:33] Speaker A: True. [00:49:33] Speaker B: I give you that he can control. Girl, don't be a. Be a placeholder for yourself. [00:49:42] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:49:42] Speaker B: Don't. Not for anyone else. [00:49:44] Speaker A: Your final words for her. [00:49:47] Speaker C: Y' all better get y' all together. Stop letting these men. [00:49:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:49:52] Speaker A: Stop letting these men's menses. [00:49:54] Speaker C: Whoever. [00:49:55] Speaker A: Oh, gosh. [00:49:55] Speaker C: Get your. Get your life all out of. [00:49:57] Speaker B: Go get, girl. Get you some money and love on yourself. Yeah. Look, get your credit. [00:50:02] Speaker C: Get your credit score to 800. Get you some money and some savings in the bank. Buy you some shit travel. I promise you do all that you don't need on it. You'll be all right. [00:50:15] Speaker B: I'm just saying, then you can put yourself first. Then you have a couple. Let me say that you have your picking. [00:50:22] Speaker C: Yeah. And you can just. [00:50:23] Speaker B: Confident woman is a woman that cannot be tamed. [00:50:26] Speaker C: That's right. [00:50:27] Speaker B: Definitely tell you that. And right now, she's not confident and she's very vulnerable. So she's open to whatever. Whatever gives her attention. She's going to be open to that. And that's what she doesn't want. [00:50:40] Speaker A: All right. Valid, valid, valid. Ladies, thank you for joining me today. [00:50:44] Speaker B: You're welcome. I enjoyed myself. [00:50:46] Speaker A: Really appreciate y'. All. I'm glad you guys enjoyed yourself. We have to do it again. [00:50:51] Speaker B: Yes. [00:50:53] Speaker A: So once again, ladies are very necessary. Von Yosh, thank you for being on. Make sure y' all check out the podcast each and every Wednesday. The Very Necessary Podcast. And make sure to follow them on [00:51:04] Speaker B: social media at the very V A R Y Necessary Necessary podcast. [00:51:08] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:51:09] Speaker B: And email them at the very V A R Y Necessary podcast gmail dot com. [00:51:15] Speaker A: Alrighty, y', all, thank you once again. And now let me get into Yoshi's final thought. Let me say, let me leave y' all with this. Starting over isn't about how fast you can replace somebody. It's about whether you've learned enough from the last relationship to stop repeating the same mistakes with somebody new. This is moving too fucking slow, all right? Some people meet the love of their lives in a few weeks after a breakup. Other people spend years single and still carrying the same baggage into every relationship. The calendar doesn't determine whether you're ready. Your honesty, your self awareness, and your actions tell that story. And please stop putting new people in competition with old memories. Your partner didn't break your heart. They shouldn't have to spend time to spend the relationship proving they're not the person who did. They should not pay the bill that somebody else ran up. If you're still healing, be honest. If you're not ready, say that. If you're genuinely like somebody new, if you genuinely like somebody new, give them the chance to be themselves instead of making them pay for what your ex did. Because here's the truth. You can start a new relationship without starting a new chapter. And if you bring the same mindset, the same mindset, the same habits, the same unresolved issues, you're just reading the same story with a different person's name on the COVID So here's my question for y'. All. When somebody moves on quickly after a breakup, do you think they found real love or are they just afraid to be alone? Make sure that you drop your answers in the comments or email us at the crewelationship status podcast.com and if you're ever been to rebound, dated the rebound, or watched somebody rebound so they had their I'm sorry so hard they needed a seatbelt. We want to hear your story. I'm Yousef and this is the Relationship Status podcast where we're making relationships better. One conversation at a time. Until next time, know your worth, own your choices, and don't make somebody new pay for the relationship they weren't even in. Till next time, y'. All, we're out. [00:53:22] Speaker C: Bye. [00:53:23] Speaker A: Peace. [00:53:25] Speaker C: Damn, they was rebounding so hard they needed a seat belt. [00:53:35] Speaker B: Calm down. [00:53:36] Speaker A: Calm down. [00:53:37] Speaker C: Woo. That hurt my feelings just now.