February 26, 2024


236th Date: If You Gonna Be Mad, Just Be Mad

Hosted by

Yusuf In The Building C.L. Butler Nique Crews
236th Date: If You Gonna Be Mad, Just Be Mad
Relationship Status Podcast
236th Date: If You Gonna Be Mad, Just Be Mad

Feb 26 2024 | 00:55:24


Show Notes

Hosts: C.L. Nique, & Yusuf 

In this episode of the Relationship Status podcast, C.L. & Yusuf get into the intricacies of communication, self-awareness, and personal boundaries within relationships. From exploring the challenges of public relationships to dissecting the dynamics of influence from friends, the conversation navigates through various scenarios with wit and wisdom.

The team has a candid discussion about the impact of scrutiny in public relationships and the importance of maintaining individual autonomy amidst external pressures. Yusuf & C.L. explore how personal feelings versus factual evidence can shape interactions and decisions within relationships, emphasizing the significance of effective communication and accountability. They also get into the theme of compartmentalization in life, highlighting the importance of separating different aspects to maintain mental and emotional well-being. Through anecdotes and relatable examples, the guys offer insights into managing daily stressors and avoiding unnecessary conflicts by setting healthy boundaries and prioritizing self-care.


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Episode Transcript

[00:00:00] Speaker A: You do you have a podcast that you're passionate about? Are you looking for a professional studio to help bring your vision to life? Then look no further than Crux Media Group Studios. Located at nine three west Evans street in Florence, South Carolina, Crux Media Group Studios is a full service podcast studio that offers recording, editing, consultation, live streaming, video recording and more. We have state of the art equipment and a team of experienced professionals who can help you create a podcast that is professional, polished and engaging. Whether you're a first time podcaster or a seasoned pro, Crux Media Group Studios can help you take your podcast to the next level. Contact us today at 843-407-1673 to learn more about our services and to schedule a consultation. [00:01:05] Speaker B: Welcome to relationship status. I'm your host, Cl Butler, and your. [00:01:09] Speaker C: Boy Yusuf in the building. And remember, you can find us on all podcast platforms as well as relationshipstatuspodcast.com. Remember, hit us up on social media, re lstat, podcast on all social media platforms and like, comment, share five star rate and review. How's it going, brother? Cl? [00:01:27] Speaker B: Great, man. How about for you self yourself? Yeah. What's happening with you, man? [00:01:34] Speaker C: Good, man. [00:01:35] Speaker B: Is it? [00:01:36] Speaker C: Yes, is it good? [00:01:38] Speaker B: Is it good? You fresh? Fresh off your V Day Valentine's Day? [00:01:44] Speaker C: That was two weeks ago. [00:01:46] Speaker B: You fresh off of it? [00:01:47] Speaker C: I ain't fresh off of the. [00:01:48] Speaker B: Love high never comes down, brother. [00:01:50] Speaker C: Yeah, I didn't do anything for Valentine's. [00:01:52] Speaker B: Oh, wow, man. [00:01:53] Speaker C: Just enjoyed. Yeah, enjoyed having the boys and. Okay, that was about it. [00:01:59] Speaker B: So, did you buy your son Valentine's Day gift? [00:02:02] Speaker C: No, I did not. [00:02:03] Speaker B: Why not? It. [00:02:06] Speaker C: Why would I. [00:02:09] Speaker B: Okay, this is how questions work. I know you because you don't know how questions work. I ask a question, okay. It is considered rude to not answer the question. Dismissive to answer a question with a question. [00:02:25] Speaker C: Okay, so ask me the question. [00:02:29] Speaker B: Did you purchase your son's Valentine's Day? [00:02:31] Speaker C: No, I did not. [00:02:32] Speaker B: Now, why didn't you do that? [00:02:34] Speaker C: I didn't deem it necessary to. [00:02:37] Speaker B: Why not? [00:02:38] Speaker C: Because I think that Valentine's is more relegated towards female than male. [00:02:47] Speaker B: This is true. Yes, but this is about love. [00:02:53] Speaker C: I never looked at it in that manner. [00:02:56] Speaker B: Okay. [00:02:57] Speaker C: I wouldn't get you a Valentine's gift. [00:02:59] Speaker B: You shouldn't. You shouldn't. That would be weird for you. I feel like you're flirting with me. What are you doing? I don't get down like that. But it's not okay for dads to show that for them because their mom probably would have got it, but I. [00:03:18] Speaker C: Had them get something for their mom. [00:03:21] Speaker B: Okay, now what does that mean? [00:03:23] Speaker C: No, like, I got them to get a gift. I took them to the store and had them pick up a gift for their mom to take with them for Valentine's Day to give to their mom. [00:03:31] Speaker B: Why not? Why would. [00:03:32] Speaker C: And they made them like, a card in school. [00:03:35] Speaker B: Okay, but you didn't feel unnecessary. So what holidays you share with your sons, birthdays, Christmas. [00:03:46] Speaker C: That's pretty much it. [00:03:47] Speaker B: That's it. [00:03:48] Speaker C: And I'll make sure that they get their mom something for Mother's Day. [00:03:53] Speaker B: Is it a man's responsibility to give his son things on Valentine's Day? [00:04:00] Speaker C: I don't think so. [00:04:01] Speaker B: Okay. [00:04:02] Speaker C: I don't think so. What's your thoughts on it? [00:04:05] Speaker B: I think you should have. [00:04:09] Speaker C: Okay. Why? [00:04:11] Speaker B: Because you're participating in the holiday and you got to teach them. Is it relegated by romance? Because really, if it's by romance, kids shouldn't be giving stuff to each other in school. [00:04:26] Speaker C: If it's about romance. [00:04:28] Speaker B: If it's about romance, I don't know what kind of message you're sending in school by having a kids exchange Valentine's. I know it's cute and cuddly, but I don't know. [00:04:40] Speaker C: I think it's more or less about the cute and cuddly of it than the overall. [00:04:46] Speaker B: Okay, so you're for. So you're against, oh, Valentine's Day, sharing it with your sons? [00:04:54] Speaker C: Oh, sharing my son's. [00:04:55] Speaker B: Because if you had girls, you would bought them something. [00:04:57] Speaker C: I got girls and I didn't buy them anything. [00:05:00] Speaker B: But they don't live in the house with you. [00:05:01] Speaker C: Okay, well, that's true, too. But if I did have daughters. [00:05:03] Speaker B: Yeah, that's pretty slack of you because you do have daughters. [00:05:06] Speaker C: Yeah, I would have done. [00:05:07] Speaker B: Why couldn't you send them all something? [00:05:10] Speaker C: Well. [00:05:11] Speaker B: What? You do know them. [00:05:13] Speaker C: Yeah, that's a good point. [00:05:14] Speaker B: You do know them. You never did that? [00:05:17] Speaker C: No, I have. When they was in school. [00:05:20] Speaker B: They're technically all still in school. [00:05:22] Speaker C: They're all still in school, but all. [00:05:24] Speaker B: Are still in school. [00:05:25] Speaker C: When they were elementary school age and stuff like that, then I would usually get them something, but when they hit high school, I didn't. [00:05:32] Speaker B: You got to tighten up, then you might be right. You got to tighten up, man. [00:05:36] Speaker C: You might be right. I need to incorporate that into next year. [00:05:39] Speaker B: Do you? [00:05:40] Speaker C: Yeah, next year, Valentine's. I'm going to give all my kids something. You've opened my eyes. [00:05:44] Speaker B: Don't say that if you're not going to do it. [00:05:45] Speaker C: No, I'm going to do it. You've opened my eyes to it. [00:05:47] Speaker B: Okay. [00:05:49] Speaker C: You have kind of made me think about that. [00:05:54] Speaker B: You should think about things like that. I think about a lot of things. [00:05:57] Speaker C: What have you been thinking recently? [00:05:59] Speaker B: Nothing. I tried to pull a fast one over on the girl scout cookies people in front of Lowe's in Myrtle beach. What'd you try to do? I tried to say I didn't know English in a bad spanish accent. [00:06:16] Speaker C: Did you say, no, I have life? [00:06:18] Speaker B: Yes, to a blonde haired, blue eyed caucasian girl who then commits to speaking Spanish. Full Spanish to me. I just gave them $10 and left. I said, that's what I get for trying to. Trying to just entertain myself. Full Spanish, son. I mean, she just flew off, comma sayama, all ty was like, wow. [00:06:48] Speaker C: And she was a kid. It was a kid. [00:06:50] Speaker B: She had to be like nine, maybe. I said, this is what I get. This is what I deserve. Because I thought it was funny to myself, just entertaining myself and tried to keep going. I tried. She went all, son, did you at. [00:07:08] Speaker C: Least get some peppermint? [00:07:10] Speaker B: No, I gave her $10 and scurried off like a pump. [00:07:15] Speaker C: She called you on it? [00:07:17] Speaker B: She did. I mean, full Spanish. She put her hand on her hip and everything. I was like, what is going on here? This is cultural appropriation. Why do you know Spanish? And the people. [00:07:32] Speaker C: Did any adults see it happen? [00:07:33] Speaker B: Yes. Her mother. Those look right at me and looked me right in my eyes like, we got them. We got them. So I just gave it. You got it. The gig is up. You got it. That's it. [00:07:54] Speaker C: Now, scale of one to ten, how embarrassing was that? [00:07:57] Speaker B: I was embarrassed for myself. So that's the worst. Nobody really knew me because I didn't say nothing and I don't look Spanish at all. [00:08:05] Speaker C: Okay, so you said no ingress, she hit you with the Spanish and you just. [00:08:08] Speaker B: No, I said that and she just went off. She hit me about four sentences. I just gave her $10. [00:08:14] Speaker C: So you didn't even say nothing else? [00:08:15] Speaker B: No. [00:08:16] Speaker C: You didn't say anything in English? [00:08:18] Speaker B: No, I didn't make eye contact. I scurried off. Here, you won. That's just. Hey, man, that's bad of me. That's not good of me. No, it's not good of you. That's not good of me at all. [00:08:35] Speaker C: It's good for me. [00:08:36] Speaker B: I felt bad for myself. I was like, what am I? This is how I'm living. This is. [00:08:44] Speaker C: I just wish you to know. More Spanish. [00:08:47] Speaker B: No. She looked like she was ready to be combative. [00:08:51] Speaker C: Like she was ready to be. [00:08:52] Speaker B: She was all locked. She was locked in. [00:08:57] Speaker C: Okay, I got them. [00:08:59] Speaker B: Yeah. I'm lucky it wasn't a 50. I had my pocket. I just gave it to him. [00:09:04] Speaker C: I said, here, whatever came out your. [00:09:05] Speaker B: Pocket, I just broke a 20, so here. There you go. Nevertheless, I didn't get any Girl scout. Girl Scout cookies, but support your local Girl scouts, Boy scouts. [00:09:16] Speaker C: And don't try to get over eagle troops. [00:09:17] Speaker B: No, don't try to entertain yourself at other people's expense. And I am a little guilty of that. I am. [00:09:26] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:09:26] Speaker B: The video you showed me. Yeah. Some stuff just really tickles me. And I'd be really entertained. And I'm just. I might be sick. [00:09:35] Speaker C: You think so? [00:09:38] Speaker B: Sometimes I do enjoy myself too much. [00:09:40] Speaker C: Some things are just funny, though. See? Like, some things are just. [00:09:43] Speaker B: But shouldn't you share with the funny? Because if you're the only one laughing, is it really a joke? Yeah, it is. [00:09:48] Speaker C: It's like, does a tree fall in the forest if nobody's there to hear? Yeah, it did. [00:09:52] Speaker B: Does it? Yeah, it did. [00:09:53] Speaker C: How do you know it fell? You see the remnants of it if you go in there. [00:09:56] Speaker B: But how do you know it made a sound? Because that's what the. Well, that's what the thing is. Not if a tree falls, doesn't make a sound. [00:10:03] Speaker C: Yeah, but doesn't make a sound. Everything makes a sound. So if it's funny, it's funny. Even if it's funny, it's funny no matter what it is. [00:10:11] Speaker B: That's not always true. But I'm talking about other people's experience. [00:10:14] Speaker C: At other people's expense. [00:10:15] Speaker B: Sometimes I literally entertain myself. [00:10:17] Speaker C: Other people, example. [00:10:20] Speaker B: Just like the girl. I don't want to get too specific. [00:10:24] Speaker C: But you weren't entertaining yourself. [00:10:26] Speaker B: I was literally entertaining myself. [00:10:27] Speaker C: When you said abla English, it was. [00:10:30] Speaker B: A terrible spanish accent. I am ashamed of it. I should have worked on that. [00:10:34] Speaker C: And you were trying to entertain yourself in that instance, and it backfired, is what you're saying. [00:10:41] Speaker B: Yeah. I wanted to see if I could pull it off, and it didn't work. [00:10:46] Speaker C: Now, no, you do not look hispanic. I don't now. Neither does my dad. And my dad's 100% hispanic. [00:10:53] Speaker B: I don't even look panamanian. Don't look nothing. [00:10:58] Speaker C: My dad made me laugh, so my dad is my comic relief. [00:11:03] Speaker B: Okay, I hope I laugh, but go ahead. [00:11:06] Speaker C: My dad likes to call me when he's had a little bit too much wine. [00:11:09] Speaker B: Okay. [00:11:10] Speaker C: And last night's joke of the hour for him as he laughed himself off the phone was Yusuf. Yes. I'm drunk. Hung up the phone. [00:11:22] Speaker B: That's not funny. [00:11:23] Speaker C: It was hilarious. [00:11:24] Speaker B: I hope you didn't find that funny. [00:11:26] Speaker C: I did. [00:11:27] Speaker B: Why? [00:11:28] Speaker C: Because it's just what he does and my dad is entertaining to me. [00:11:32] Speaker B: Okay. [00:11:33] Speaker C: As long as he's enjoying his life. [00:11:36] Speaker B: I hope he lives a long life, but I don't know if that's funny. [00:11:40] Speaker C: It is. [00:11:41] Speaker B: Yes, it is funny, because I could. [00:11:45] Speaker C: Envision him doing it and then laughing and getting off the phone. [00:11:49] Speaker B: Okay. [00:11:51] Speaker C: And he only drinks wine, so it's not like he drinks hard stuff. [00:11:55] Speaker B: All of it's the same to me. You think? [00:11:57] Speaker C: All of it to me. Hard liquors. [00:12:00] Speaker B: I don't get any of it. But teach their own. [00:12:04] Speaker C: Yeah, but I guess not. [00:12:11] Speaker B: Okay. [00:12:11] Speaker C: But it was funny in the moment. Okay. [00:12:13] Speaker B: Tell me something about what we talking about today. You got anything? We talk about anything on your spirit. [00:12:18] Speaker C: On my spirit? [00:12:19] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:12:20] Speaker C: You know what was on my spirit? [00:12:22] Speaker B: You could just hit me with a topic. Any topic you want. I have vast information and knowledge on several topics. [00:12:30] Speaker C: Any topic? [00:12:31] Speaker B: Any topic. [00:12:33] Speaker C: Okay. Scottie Pippen. Larsa Pippen and Marcus Jordan have broken up. [00:12:39] Speaker B: Have they? So we're going to jump right into celebrity gossip. [00:12:42] Speaker C: I'm sorry. [00:12:43] Speaker B: Or b list. [00:12:43] Speaker C: Celebrity gossip. Or c list. Yeah, because they were actually on traders. The show. [00:12:49] Speaker B: The show. Did you watch it? Yeah, as a couple, and they split up. [00:12:52] Speaker C: And what happened was they have to choose a trader, and then they choose three. Now, Larser or Marcus weren't traders. They were called faithfuls. And so the faithfuls get killed off each night. So they killed Marcus first because they wanted to weaken Larsa. And Marcus is like, from the show, he came off as an extremely intelligent. [00:13:13] Speaker B: Does he talk? [00:13:14] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. And knows what he talking about. Very insightful. [00:13:19] Speaker B: Okay. [00:13:19] Speaker C: Very insightful. He's smarter than he looks on. [00:13:23] Speaker B: I mean, I don't judge how he looks. [00:13:25] Speaker C: Yeah, but I wasn't judging his. [00:13:27] Speaker B: Well, you said he's smarter. [00:13:29] Speaker C: Smarter than he looks. Yes, because I've never heard him speak. [00:13:31] Speaker B: So you think about me and being smarter than I let. [00:13:33] Speaker C: Is he smart? No. [00:13:34] Speaker B: That's what you're saying? [00:13:36] Speaker C: No, that's not what I was. [00:13:37] Speaker B: That's exactly what you said. [00:13:39] Speaker C: That's not how I said it. [00:13:40] Speaker B: That's what you said. [00:13:41] Speaker C: All I said was he's smarter than he looks. [00:13:44] Speaker B: So you look at men to see how smart they are? [00:13:47] Speaker C: I look at people to tell how smart they are. I'll say that about a woman. [00:13:50] Speaker B: I'll say that about a kid. But you're talking about a man. [00:13:53] Speaker C: I say that about my son all the time. Amir is smarter than he looks. [00:13:56] Speaker B: Oh, well, listen. Okay. All right. Now you try to take your kids. Okay. I'm just saying, man. Listen. If you wonder how smart Marcus Jordan is, you septic guy. Okay, so they broke. [00:14:07] Speaker C: They. [00:14:07] Speaker B: How could that relationship ever work? [00:14:10] Speaker C: I think it was doomed from the beginning. I don't think that you can. First off, it's a public relationship, and I don't think those really work. If they're on. If the foundation of them aren't strong, like, if they didn't come. [00:14:23] Speaker B: What foundation of any relationship is strong? [00:14:25] Speaker C: Well, if you have built it over time. If they weren't famous and then they got famous. Or one of them got famous as they were going on. She's literally been, like, probably your auntie. Well, no, Scotty and Mike weren't too close. [00:14:40] Speaker B: I don't think they were. [00:14:41] Speaker C: Yeah, they weren't close. [00:14:41] Speaker B: That's Scotty's second wife. [00:14:43] Speaker C: And that's the second wife. [00:14:44] Speaker B: Second wife. Scott. Yeah. He just had a son that passed away. His son might have been, like, 35 or something. [00:14:49] Speaker C: Oh, wow. [00:14:50] Speaker B: Yeah. I didn't know it was 31, maybe. [00:14:52] Speaker C: I thought that was his only wife. I thought that. No, she was with him from. No, like, she was with him shooting in the gym. That's what I thought. [00:14:58] Speaker B: No, she's in her 40s. Scotty's got to be, like, 60 something. [00:15:03] Speaker C: Scotty's in his sixty s? [00:15:04] Speaker B: Yeah. Michael Jordan is 60 something. [00:15:07] Speaker C: Jeez. [00:15:08] Speaker B: Or close to it. 59. 61. Somewhere in that area, man. Let's see if he went in the draft in 83. [00:15:18] Speaker C: He was 83. Because Michael was, what, 85? [00:15:20] Speaker B: No, Scotty was after Mike. Mike is older, so. Mike. Mike is 65. [00:15:24] Speaker C: Yeah, Mike. I know Mike is older. [00:15:26] Speaker B: Scotty got to be at least 60. She was younger than him because she's. [00:15:31] Speaker C: Forty s. Yeah, she's in her 40s. [00:15:32] Speaker B: He's probably at least 15 years older than her. Too bad we don't have computers to look this kind of stuff up. [00:15:38] Speaker C: We do. [00:15:38] Speaker B: Yes. But we don't have to pause to look at. [00:15:40] Speaker C: No, we don't have to pause. [00:15:41] Speaker B: No, look it up. We got good wifi here. [00:15:43] Speaker C: Yes, we got great wifi. [00:15:44] Speaker B: So we can go through that. But I just don't see how it could work. Secondly, I think it's easy. If you've always been famous, do you think you want somebody for a relationship? I think relationships are easy. [00:16:01] Speaker C: Relationships should be easy. [00:16:03] Speaker B: Okay. What's your should be? [00:16:05] Speaker C: The should be is if you're with a person who's working at the relationship as much as you are working at it. [00:16:12] Speaker B: What does working at the relationship mean? [00:16:15] Speaker C: Doing the things necessary to make the relationship successful. [00:16:19] Speaker B: Okay. [00:16:19] Speaker C: What are those? Communicating. Being open to. Open to the communication from the other person. Because some people think communicating is just talking, but communicating is also listening. [00:16:30] Speaker B: It is. But it's also, you got to be. [00:16:32] Speaker C: Saying something and then applying, coming to a general consensus between the two of you and then applying whatever it is that you do going forward. [00:16:41] Speaker B: Okay. I don't believe that. [00:16:43] Speaker C: Okay, what do you believe? [00:16:44] Speaker B: You look up to Larson. [00:16:45] Speaker C: I'm doing that now. [00:16:45] Speaker B: Scotty Pippen thing. I think the number one thing to being in a relationship and making a relationship work is commitment. Commitment means I'm committed to this relationship until the behavior supersedes our guidelines of our relationship, like cheating, it could be instantly over. [00:17:09] Speaker C: Right? Yeah, most people. [00:17:10] Speaker B: But if you're just a little annoying, it's for me to communicate that and be committed to it, not get rid of you. Because every time you do something I don't like, I push you further away. [00:17:23] Speaker C: Okay. [00:17:24] Speaker B: So if you don't want to talk and you shut down when we talk, then we just going to sit here. [00:17:31] Speaker C: So you're going to say, hey, look, if you shut down, we just going to sit here and quiet. [00:17:35] Speaker B: We'll just sit here and look at each other until you get out of the relationship. Because if you're going to be my person, I'm not going to keep doing this. I'm not going to keep having the same misunderstanding about the same thing. We must all have good wifi because this is taking a long. [00:17:55] Speaker C: No, we got it. Larsa Pippin is 49. [00:17:57] Speaker B: Okay. [00:17:57] Speaker C: Scotty's 58. [00:17:59] Speaker B: Okay. Ten, nine. [00:18:02] Speaker C: Yeah. First wife was Karen McCullum, 88 to 1990. [00:18:08] Speaker B: Okay. I knew his second wife. [00:18:10] Speaker C: Yeah. And this one lasted a little bit longer. [00:18:13] Speaker B: Okay. [00:18:13] Speaker C: Marsa, 97 to 2021. [00:18:16] Speaker B: Okay. [00:18:16] Speaker C: She hung around for the good years. [00:18:19] Speaker B: Scotty was pretty famous in 97. Pretty freaking famous. And then Marcus is 20 something, right? 30. No. [00:18:32] Speaker C: 303-333-4933 it's terrible. [00:18:40] Speaker B: You think it's terrible unless the man is older. [00:18:44] Speaker C: Isn't that a little double standard? [00:18:46] Speaker B: Women can't handle the responsibility of being the full time leader of relationships. [00:18:50] Speaker C: And you think age determines the full time? Who's the full time leader of the relationship? [00:18:56] Speaker B: It would be really hard for me to believe a 33 year old young man could guide a 48 year old woman. Yeah, I find that very hard. He's going to have to be the Michael Jordan of dating to do that to me. [00:19:15] Speaker C: Okay. [00:19:16] Speaker B: It's hard enough leading a woman one year younger than you more or less years and have lived life. I think it's just a maturity factor in what you've been through in the way you go about handling things. And women don't like to lead. They like to lead a little bit convenience to it, but just lead all the time. I don't think women want to lead. [00:19:40] Speaker C: All the time, but I kind of got that from the show, watching them on the show, and I know some of it is a little bit. Well, traders isn't scripted, I don't think. But what you got. [00:19:49] Speaker B: But not the show. But you're just watching his behavior. [00:19:51] Speaker C: Yeah, watching the behavior. He seems to have been the leader of that relationship. [00:19:56] Speaker B: I truly don't believe that. [00:20:00] Speaker C: Just the way it looked on the show. [00:20:01] Speaker B: I'm not saying it didn't look that way. I just don't believe it. Maybe it is true. Maybe he is the Michael Jordan of dating. [00:20:07] Speaker C: Well, they said that the breakup was due to just irreconcilable differences. [00:20:13] Speaker B: What is that? We can't get along? Isn't that what that means? The novelty is worn off. I hope they make it. But, I mean, I don't see why you would even put yourself in that situation. [00:20:32] Speaker C: You said that you don't think it's good for a man to date that far. Should a man date up or date down age wise? [00:20:37] Speaker B: A man can date either. [00:20:39] Speaker C: Women can't. [00:20:41] Speaker B: I just don't see what a 48 year old woman has in common with a 33 year old man. Because once you get past the fun stuff, now you got to get into real life. [00:20:54] Speaker C: But that's true. Yeah, that's true. [00:20:58] Speaker B: Yeah. What if Mike calls and gives Marcus some good advice? We're just going to listen to your dad. Yeah. Friggin dad. [00:21:05] Speaker C: He's a billionaire. [00:21:07] Speaker B: No money, has nothing to do. But it's still my father. I owe some of this to him. [00:21:16] Speaker C: Because my name kind of gets. [00:21:17] Speaker B: He might know better. And I don't know if Larsa Pippen is a woman who's dated in the celebrity space before, because that could be who she goes after. It could be love. Could be the best version of love we've ever heard of. But I think the age difference is too big. And just your experiences. [00:21:40] Speaker C: Well, some of the. [00:21:43] Speaker B: Even though she's got a kid probably ten years younger than him. [00:21:46] Speaker C: Yeah, she does. She did post. This is what prompt one of the posts that prompted everybody. Should your friends unfollow your ex should. [00:21:57] Speaker B: My friends. My friends shouldn't be following my ex. For my current. [00:22:04] Speaker C: They should not be friends with your current. Well, not friends. [00:22:07] Speaker B: My current shouldn't be following them and they shouldn't be following them. They wasn't friends before. Don't. [00:22:12] Speaker C: Because she posted that on her social media as a poll question. [00:22:17] Speaker B: And what was the results? [00:22:20] Speaker C: 64% said, your ex should unfollow your friends. Should unfollow your ex. [00:22:25] Speaker B: See, I think that's like a childish game. [00:22:30] Speaker C: I think playing your relationship out through social media is always childish. I think playing your relationship out through. [00:22:38] Speaker B: Why is it playing it out childish if that's where you have it at? If you're a public couple, if you're. [00:22:45] Speaker C: A public couple doesn't mean that you have to put your business out publicly. [00:22:49] Speaker B: Then don't put any of it out. [00:22:50] Speaker C: Yeah, you can be seen places. [00:22:53] Speaker B: That has nothing to do with social media. Social media would be, to me, would be things that happen during the relationship we're making public. [00:23:04] Speaker C: That's what I'm saying. [00:23:05] Speaker B: To see two people together or have pictures together, I don't think classifies as public. But soon as you get mad now you find in all these quotes that barely apply to what you saying. I can do bad all by myself. That's what, to me is what when. [00:23:24] Speaker C: It becomes, what's it called? Cryptic or. [00:23:28] Speaker B: Oh, you know, what's it called? You know, I don't know what the name, you know, full term, what's the term? I don't know. You do it, so I don't know. Yes, sir. That's a lie. With relationships, that's a lie. And I am not just talking romantic. Whatever's going on, there'll be some cryptic type meme all by my lonely. I said, what is this dude talking about? Take this down. You never knew who your true friends are, so it's all levels of relationship. It ain't just romantic, it's either or. So. I don't understand how you have a problem with it, but I've seen you do it. [00:24:15] Speaker C: I do have a problem with. I have a problem if I do. [00:24:17] Speaker B: It, but why do people run to that? I don't know. [00:24:21] Speaker C: I think who had the thing? Don't hit send. [00:24:24] Speaker B: Don't hit send. [00:24:25] Speaker C: Somebody had that saying for it was a coach. [00:24:28] Speaker B: Don't hit sin. [00:24:29] Speaker C: I think it's probably skip Bayless or something like that. No, it was okay if you don't know, let's just skip that. You say, just don't hit sin. [00:24:38] Speaker B: Why is that? [00:24:38] Speaker C: Put it together. [00:24:39] Speaker B: Why would you put it together? [00:24:42] Speaker C: Anytime you feel emotional about something, don't hit sin. So even if you go to post something, basically it's don't post out of emotion. [00:24:49] Speaker B: Well, it seems to me that person is looking for some sort of validation. I'm like, that's why you got one. Like, nobody's going to agree with you. Nobody agrees with you. You're full of it. [00:25:01] Speaker C: One like and no shares. [00:25:02] Speaker B: Yeah, one like, no shares. But why do you do that? Why do you feel like you have to go to social media? [00:25:13] Speaker C: I always feel after the fact that I shouldn't. [00:25:16] Speaker B: No, you don't. Because you go, like, multiple stories a post. [00:25:20] Speaker C: I don't do multiple stories. [00:25:22] Speaker B: Listen, your instagram is live. You can see all the memes you post. I can say, okay, something was going on right here. I don't know what it was. I don't know if this was romantic. Other friends see what my last one was. No, it's not about your last one. You might have been doing better here lately. [00:25:38] Speaker C: I have been. [00:25:39] Speaker B: But if you deep into the archives, it's a lot of cryptic. [00:25:43] Speaker C: I have been doing a lot. [00:25:46] Speaker B: I don't know if you posting something because you generally like what that sentiment is. Come on now. We can't have silence on the podcast. You can still look, but you got to sometimes. [00:26:02] Speaker C: I post a lot of the times it's posted because something I like. [00:26:05] Speaker B: Why? It's not something you like. [00:26:06] Speaker C: It doesn't even have to be something I'm feeling away. [00:26:10] Speaker B: Yes, it is about. Yes, it is. [00:26:13] Speaker C: My Facebook is probably where that stuff is. [00:26:15] Speaker B: Well, I mean, I don't follow you on your Facebook because I'm not there on the Facebook with you. That's just what I see on Instagram. [00:26:22] Speaker C: That's just what you see. Yeah, it's been a while. [00:26:24] Speaker B: No, it's been a while. Two months. [00:26:27] Speaker C: No, it's been a while. [00:26:28] Speaker B: Yeah. Ain't been years. [00:26:29] Speaker C: It ain't been years. [00:26:30] Speaker B: But you never said why you go to social media. And I think it's just about validation. Building your own case, finding something that could mean something else. [00:26:41] Speaker C: All of those things could be true. [00:26:43] Speaker B: They are true. [00:26:44] Speaker C: All those things could be true. [00:26:45] Speaker B: So why. Let's dig deep. [00:26:48] Speaker C: I think in the moment, you don't really think. I think you just do it because. [00:26:53] Speaker B: Then that means you're not in control if you can't think well. [00:26:57] Speaker C: And sometimes you just want to say stuff without a response, without having to address a response. [00:27:02] Speaker B: Why can't you just look in your. [00:27:03] Speaker C: Mirror and say it doesn't give you the same effect. [00:27:07] Speaker B: No, it's not effect. It's feeling. [00:27:10] Speaker C: Or it could not. [00:27:11] Speaker B: It's feeling. I just got that off. I know he or she is going to see it. Well, not just personal to you, but whoever the person. [00:27:22] Speaker C: I think sometimes in the moment you would want it. I have friends. I'm lucky to have friends that will get on me when it's necessary. [00:27:31] Speaker B: But we're talking about why you do. [00:27:33] Speaker C: No, listen, let me finish my statement. So sometimes I don't want to hear them get on me about what I say and I'll just go ahead and post because I just want to say it. And then I still end up getting a text. [00:27:46] Speaker B: Usually you. [00:27:47] Speaker C: But why do you say that down you, Malcolm. [00:27:51] Speaker B: Why do you say it? You're escaping the question. [00:27:57] Speaker C: No, I answered the question. What's the why? My why is sometimes I just want to say something without a response. [00:28:04] Speaker B: You could just say it. You don't have to put on the Internet. [00:28:08] Speaker C: And you're right. I'm not disagreeing with. [00:28:10] Speaker B: Put you a big whiteboard up in your room and write that down. [00:28:12] Speaker C: I didn't think about that. [00:28:14] Speaker B: Yeah, it's a lot of other things you can do. [00:28:16] Speaker C: I might do that. [00:28:16] Speaker B: I think it's just validation. You want to say something to a person without saying to a person. [00:28:22] Speaker C: No, but validation means you're looking for somebody to agree with you not saying something or whatever. I'm not looking for nobody to agree. [00:28:30] Speaker B: Then why put it out? [00:28:31] Speaker C: Mostly people don't. [00:28:31] Speaker B: Why wouldn't I say? Why wouldn't you put positivity out there? [00:28:35] Speaker C: I do put positivity out there. [00:28:37] Speaker B: Not in those moments. [00:28:38] Speaker C: In those moments. [00:28:39] Speaker B: In those moments where we feel like something is wrong, how cool would it be if we just posted something very positive? Jesus loves you. Why don't you make that your post? When something is wrong, not all this other stuff. See, I have somebody in front of me who does it. That's why I'm asking you. You'll feel free to ask me anything, too. You're not on social media, but I'm not going to put that there. So my relationship, personal or romantic, won't ever be on display there for somebody to critique or find out something about. It's all private. Once you go public, then you've given it away. The secrets to what's going on and people should comment on it. Like if you post your baby and somebody said, well, that's an ugly baby, you open yourself, babies can be ugly. [00:29:42] Speaker C: You got a valid point. I'm not saying I got to be more cognizant. The whiteboard thing is a good idea. I'll do that. [00:29:50] Speaker B: I just think it's all out of emotion. It is. People trying to. [00:29:53] Speaker C: It is out of emotion. [00:29:54] Speaker B: Trying to find some sort of validation from some people in certain instances. [00:29:59] Speaker C: I think some people do do that. [00:30:01] Speaker B: Some people, yeah. [00:30:03] Speaker C: I don't do it for valid. When I do, it's not validation. [00:30:05] Speaker B: I don't believe you. No. [00:30:06] Speaker C: I don't need anybody to agree or any attention. [00:30:08] Speaker B: I don't believe you. [00:30:09] Speaker C: Post it. [00:30:10] Speaker B: Why wouldn't you post it if you didn't want attention? [00:30:13] Speaker C: I just. [00:30:13] Speaker B: Do you get attention when you post like that? [00:30:17] Speaker C: Do I get the attention? [00:30:18] Speaker B: You do get the attention. [00:30:20] Speaker C: I don't respond to any of the message. I don't respond to any comments. [00:30:24] Speaker B: But you just said people call you about it, so that is attention. [00:30:27] Speaker C: Well, they call me to tell me to take it down. [00:30:29] Speaker B: That's still attention. We're talking about attention. If you don't post it, would you get a call about it? [00:30:37] Speaker C: No, but I'm not. [00:30:38] Speaker B: Because nobody would know. [00:30:39] Speaker C: But my intention is not for. Yes, it is. How are you going to tell me what my intent is? [00:30:44] Speaker B: Because the intent, if you start an argument with someone, you may not want to fight, but you do want a confrontation. That's why you say it. And it's only a confrontation because the other person is defensive. [00:31:09] Speaker C: Valid point. [00:31:10] Speaker B: And attention is the root of all evil. That's a new currency, attention. And people want attention, good or bad. Yeah. People who love your music will listen to it, and so will the people who hate your music. They probably listen to it twice just to make sure they don't like it. But it's the intention of it all. [00:31:35] Speaker C: Just as many people come to watch you win as those that come to watch you lose. [00:31:38] Speaker B: Absolutely. Absolutely. So you don't want to lose out here in this public space like Marcus? I don't know if he lost. [00:31:45] Speaker C: I think he won. [00:31:48] Speaker B: What's a win for him? [00:31:52] Speaker C: He has become a more public figure than he was. [00:31:57] Speaker B: But I don't think. [00:31:58] Speaker C: A more household name than he was. [00:31:59] Speaker B: I don't think that's by choice. [00:32:01] Speaker C: I don't think it's by choice. [00:32:03] Speaker B: I think she wanted to be in the public. I don't think he ever wanted to be in the public because he really wasn't trying to be in the public. [00:32:09] Speaker C: In the public. [00:32:10] Speaker B: Yeah, but he had the perfect person to attach himself to to be public with Michael Jordan. [00:32:15] Speaker C: Don't get but Michael Jordan isn't too public, though. [00:32:18] Speaker B: You don't have to be public. You're Michael Jordan and you don't like black people, so it's cool. Why are you laughing? I don't like black people sometimes either. I agree with Mike. Get from around me. Why do you want to hear your mixtape? Not just black people. It's all people. But you're Michael Jordan. He could never date anybody with the level of popularity as Michael Jordan. So if he wanted to be public, he had the perfect. He could have just been in every picture with his daddy. So I think it was her more wanting to be public because it's been more for her career. [00:33:02] Speaker C: It has done more for her career. [00:33:03] Speaker B: Because I don't think the Jordans have to work. [00:33:06] Speaker C: None of that. [00:33:07] Speaker B: I'm going to jump out there a little bit. I don't believe they have to work. I think the Jordan empire is enough to get you a nice little one $200 month apartment off the Jordan. [00:33:21] Speaker C: Off the Jordan brand. [00:33:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:33:25] Speaker C: Get you a Ford explorer. [00:33:26] Speaker B: You'll be fine. I think he could survive without working just off Jordan. The last name Jordan. We ain't seen his mama since she got the money. [00:33:37] Speaker C: No. [00:33:39] Speaker B: So we talk about Mike money. She got 270,000,000. I know she gave him something. Jeez, something. [00:33:48] Speaker C: 270,000,000. [00:33:49] Speaker B: I think it was $270,000,000 on it. [00:33:51] Speaker C: That was what it was. [00:33:53] Speaker B: And Mike's become a billionaire since then, so I'm pretty sure that mom gave him something. Three of them gave him something. [00:34:03] Speaker C: I gave up half, which is 270. And I'm still a billion. I still end up a billionaire years later. [00:34:09] Speaker B: Yeah. Marcus looked like he was drugging to the public out of me. Yeah. [00:34:17] Speaker C: But I think he still won off. I think he's going to end up, although he is a Jordan name, winning. [00:34:22] Speaker B: What he wants to be an actor, a socialite. Michael Jordan son. [00:34:27] Speaker C: I think he's going to end up with the. Well, he probably already had good quality women looking women. [00:34:33] Speaker B: At least if he didn't, that's his fault. That's his fault. That's his fault. That is absolutely 100% his fault. That's to his detriment because he should be winning. Just being a Jordan. [00:34:51] Speaker C: Just being a Jordan. [00:34:52] Speaker B: Yeah. Is he the oldest or the youngest? [00:34:56] Speaker C: Marcus is the. [00:35:00] Speaker B: I think he's the younger brother. [00:35:02] Speaker C: I think he's the youngest. [00:35:03] Speaker B: Okay. He could be the younger brother, but I'm pretty sure. I mean, you never really see the. [00:35:09] Speaker C: Never. I sometimes forget about the. [00:35:13] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. I only knew was. She had a baby with Rakim Christmas. [00:35:18] Speaker C: Syracuse basketball player Marcus, Jeffrey and Jasmine. [00:35:24] Speaker B: Yes. [00:35:27] Speaker C: He's got five kids. [00:35:28] Speaker B: Yeah. Because he's got two twins now, but he only had three with his first wife. Yeah. [00:35:32] Speaker C: Jeffrey's the oldest, 35, Marcus, 33, and Jasmine, 31. [00:35:37] Speaker B: Okay. That's with his wife. His second wife has twin daughters. And I know a lot about Michael Jordan. Yeah, you do? I do. [00:35:51] Speaker C: Victoria and Yezabel. [00:35:54] Speaker B: Whatever. [00:35:55] Speaker C: They're ten. Isabel. Okay. Y-S-A-B-E-L-I never saw Isabel spelled like that. [00:36:02] Speaker B: Yeah, I think his wife is of indian or Persian. Preto somewhere. [00:36:12] Speaker C: Girlfriend? Prato. [00:36:14] Speaker B: I don't know what that means. [00:36:15] Speaker C: No, her name is Prato Prietoi. [00:36:17] Speaker B: Think that's what that girl called me outside of Lowe's. I ain't know what. She was talking to me. She was talking to me real Rough. Wow. But, yeah. Still. And yet, I do think public relationships can be good if you know how to handle them. But you take the good and you. [00:36:44] Speaker C: Take the bad, and I just think there's a lot of bad that comes to the public relationship. You open yourself up to tell me. [00:36:51] Speaker B: The bad. [00:36:54] Speaker C: A lot of scrutiny. [00:36:56] Speaker B: From who? [00:36:57] Speaker C: People, period. [00:36:58] Speaker B: How do you know what they think if you don't read it? [00:37:01] Speaker C: That's the problem. [00:37:03] Speaker B: You don't have to read it. [00:37:04] Speaker C: You don't have to read it. But how many people don't read what's said? [00:37:08] Speaker B: Well, the people who don't put their business for it to be commented on. Those people. [00:37:14] Speaker C: Okay. [00:37:16] Speaker B: If you put yourself in any public space, you're going to should expect scrutiny. [00:37:24] Speaker C: But that's at any level, though. [00:37:26] Speaker B: So then why would you think it's any different for your public relationship, if that's the. [00:37:32] Speaker C: I'm just saying that's the difficult part, is dealing with the scrutiny. [00:37:35] Speaker B: How is it. Because I don't understand. How is it difficult? [00:37:39] Speaker C: Okay. I've known people who have let friends dictate what happened or not dictate, but have allowed friends to influence what they do in their relationship. [00:37:49] Speaker B: Your friends should influence you. Okay, but it's my decision what I do in my relationship. [00:37:54] Speaker C: Exactly. [00:37:55] Speaker B: But I can have ten friends that say, stay with her. I got ten friends who say, boy, you need to go ahead and live your best life. This choice is mine. So there's no such thing as my friends influence me to do anything. [00:38:08] Speaker C: But that's you personally. For some people, it's all people. [00:38:12] Speaker B: Just because you say something I believe already doesn't mean you influence me. Because if I believe I pose to be living my best life. Those ten friends are going to be right. If I believe I should be happy within the confines of my relationship and do what it takes to make sure relationship right, then I'm agreeing with the other ten friends. But the choice is ultimately mine. So I don't believe in anything about your friends made you do it. I never got in trouble because of no friends. No, I was ringleader doing that. Boy, I get a beaten boy ain't doing that. That right there, I risk it for that. Let's do that. Some of that stuff. [00:38:52] Speaker C: So they're going to take my car. [00:38:54] Speaker B: Dot and senior don't play son. They come down hard on me for that. Do that when I'm staying at my grandma house. We could do that then bill. No, they out of town. So the choice is yours. I don't believe in. Maybe it is true. Maybe if you weak and you let other people dictate to you. But everybody makes a decision about something they're doing in their life regardless of what their friends think. Yeah, because those same friends will tell you, man, you need to just chill out. Like, no, you're still going to do. [00:39:35] Speaker C: What you do now. [00:39:35] Speaker B: I'm about to untaw baby, chill out. [00:39:44] Speaker C: I would say I've been the culprit of that. Somebody telling me this is what you need to do and it probably been the right thing. [00:39:50] Speaker B: Yeah, but that doesn't mean somebody else influenced you to do that. [00:39:55] Speaker C: It was your choice. That's my choice? Yeah. [00:39:58] Speaker B: Sometimes we do things out of guilt or fear. [00:40:02] Speaker C: Guilt. [00:40:03] Speaker B: And that's no way to be in a relationship, man. [00:40:06] Speaker C: Listen, do a lot of shit out of guilt. Excuse me. Do a lot of stuff out of guilt sometimes. Or fear. Fear is a huge one. [00:40:16] Speaker B: But what's the fear of you messing up? Either way? It ain't nothing to fear if I'm a mess up. Either way. [00:40:23] Speaker C: If this is happening, no matter what. [00:40:24] Speaker B: Something'S going to happen either way. [00:40:27] Speaker C: Yeah. I think that the thing of it all is when we're trying to do what we want to do for us, for us as individuals, sometimes falls on you really don't take into account how it affects the other people. So what around you, shouldn't you take that into account? [00:41:00] Speaker B: You said what's best for you. [00:41:02] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:41:03] Speaker B: You didn't say I'm being selfish. What's best for me. [00:41:06] Speaker C: Yeah, but does that come off as selfish? [00:41:10] Speaker B: I'm doing what's best for me. No, I'm telling you I'm doing what's best for me. How is that selfish? That's selfless. [00:41:19] Speaker C: That's selfless. [00:41:20] Speaker B: I know this could hurt you, but this is what's best for me. That man said he want to cut somebody finger off. You probably need to lose your finger. I need. I'm sorry. I'll take care of you. You can't take care of me. There's nothing you can do that won't affect someone else. So if I'm a lose, I'm losing on my terms. I'm not losing on nobody else's terms. I'm not going out like dark skin Jermaine or Willie Loma. Neither one. I ain't doing it. I ain't doing it. If I lose, I'm losing my way and my way only. [00:41:59] Speaker C: Like coaches. [00:42:00] Speaker B: Yeah, coaches. So whatever you do, yes, it's going to affect someone else. It could disappoint someone else, definitely. But ultimately you got to live with your decision. And if me helping you hurts me, then that's not what's best for me. And I'm sorry it saddens you or makes you happy or me presenting the best version of myself is the most important thing, right or wrong. So I'll have the conversation and you might convince me that I am wrong, but we're going to have a conversation. We're not just going to say, hey, you might be wrong and we just sweep it under the row because that. [00:42:46] Speaker C: Shouldn'T be what happens. [00:42:48] Speaker B: The communication is the thing there communication. [00:42:52] Speaker C: Because I've been guilty of not communicating and then letting. [00:42:57] Speaker B: Are you not communicating or not doing what you said you was going to do? [00:43:00] Speaker C: No, not communicating. [00:43:01] Speaker B: Okay. What's not communicating? [00:43:03] Speaker C: Okay. Earlier you said if you're talking with somebody and they shut down, we're just going to sit there till you open back up. [00:43:12] Speaker B: But I'm not going to keep doing that. [00:43:13] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm the culprit of shutting down. [00:43:15] Speaker B: But that's a choice. [00:43:16] Speaker C: Yeah, it is a choice. I'm not saying it's not a choice. [00:43:20] Speaker B: But you shutting down is an answer. [00:43:25] Speaker C: If I feel like what I'm saying is not. If what I'm saying is not being. [00:43:29] Speaker B: Heard, maybe you're not communicating it correctly. Maybe that's the problem, not you being heard. If you keep telling me the same dumb thing over and over, it doesn't mean you're not communicating. What you're saying does not make sense like you would say. Because what? Because it's what I want. Because you keep saying because don't mean you're telling me anything that I need to hear as a person. Because communication is for the other person as well as for you, okay? And I found myself in this situation a lot, and it has something to do with me because I get accused of over talking people. It's like you keep repeating the same thing, it's going to feel like I'm over talking you because I'm hitting you with facts. At the fact. At the fact. And all you keep doing is telling me it just don't feel right. Okay? But I think when I'm faced with those situations and people are saying, or people have said to me, you believe you're right. I believe I'm right because I have facts to support the right or wrong. So if I present facts and all you tell me about is your feelings, because I can't argue your feelings. You write about your feelings. You are 100% right about how you feel. But that doesn't make it factual. [00:45:02] Speaker C: Okay, it doesn't make it factual. But what if. Okay, if you have a feeling I have a feeling, and somebody's telling you. [00:45:09] Speaker B: I don't argue my feelings, first of all. Okay, but I will tell you I feel this way, but I'm not arguing my feelings. You lost. Once you start arguing your feelings, you're entitled to feeling any way you want to feel. You can feel entitled that somebody should give you a million dollars. [00:45:26] Speaker C: That's just a feeling. [00:45:27] Speaker B: That's a feeling. No. You could feel like the lottery should give you a million dollars. The fact is, you never bought a ticket. [00:45:38] Speaker C: How can you feel anyway? [00:45:40] Speaker B: Because you could feel any way you want to feel. You wouldn't even go buy a ticket. So if you won't go buy a ticket, who cares how you feel? [00:45:48] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:45:50] Speaker B: So you can feel like I did you wrong. How did I do you wrong? I put the time, money and energy up. You're just a recipient. But you feel. How about you do some of the stuff I did so you can feel the way I feel? You know what I'm saying? It's kind of like when you have kids, they just expect you to have do. Dad. You don't got an extra 10,000 laying around? No, I don't. What's wrong with you? Who do you think I am? They could feel like I deserve this because I'm your child. That's not factual. [00:46:33] Speaker C: Yeah, it ain't. [00:46:34] Speaker B: So your feelings. I'm not arguing against nobody feelings. If I tell you that wasn't my intent. I did something that hurt you, and that wasn't my intent. Well, I feel like you lying. That's okay. I know within myself that I did not intentionally do something to hurt you. [00:46:54] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:46:55] Speaker B: And I'm not going to argue about how you feel. I'm going to say my piece and be quiet. I'll listen to how you feel, but me telling you how you pose it. No. [00:47:09] Speaker C: Because that's what I do. And I've been told that I'm guilty of shutting down when all I do is I say what I say, and. [00:47:15] Speaker B: Then if it seems like no, you're shutting down with no facts. Hey. And sometimes you got to say I was wrong. [00:47:26] Speaker C: But what if I don't feel like I was wrong? [00:47:30] Speaker B: Do you have facts to prove you wasn't wrong? Because that's the key. The facts are I was late, but I did call you two times, and that's the fact. The fact is, I called you. I tried to do the right thing. So when you shut down, is it out of frustration? [00:47:52] Speaker C: It is. [00:47:53] Speaker B: What's frustrating about it? [00:47:58] Speaker C: Um, like I said, if I'm. If my attempt, like you made a good point in that maybe I'm saying what I'm saying is not being articulated correctly or it's not being articulated clear enough, like the because statement. Because I think the other day, not the other day at a point, an answer I've given in the past, because that's what I wanted to do, and that's the way I felt like I needed to handle it. So that's how I handled it. [00:48:32] Speaker B: Well, that's respectable. [00:48:33] Speaker C: The repercussions are mine to deal with. So I don't know how this affects you if you're not me or the other person in this situation. [00:48:43] Speaker B: It depends on how much of that person is involved in your business. [00:48:47] Speaker C: Now that because some people are overly involved. Yes. Okay. And I have been guilty of that. Now, that's where I have to. I know that's a fact of something that I have to change in myself, being that I have to talk a lot of things out. I sometimes incorporate my significant other into. [00:49:10] Speaker B: Wow. [00:49:11] Speaker C: And this has been over all of my relationships. Why over communicate? [00:49:15] Speaker B: Sometimes women can't even handle the burden of what you're going through. Not that I need to handle it by myself. What I'm telling you for. I know it's in your bank account. I need to talk with somebody with just in their bank account. That might help me. Like I. Like you're not gonna. Well, and the thing is, something I will always practice, I'm gonna own what I do. You're not gonna define me by my mistakes. [00:49:48] Speaker C: You did this before, and that's and. [00:49:51] Speaker B: And yes, I did do that before. [00:49:53] Speaker C: I hate, I don't like when people do that. [00:49:56] Speaker B: You don't like when people do it? [00:49:57] Speaker C: Bring up all old stuff that have been, quote unquote, forgiven for. [00:50:03] Speaker B: Have you made amends for the stuff you did? If you don't have closure or made amends for it, then sometimes they can bring it up, especially if it's the. [00:50:12] Speaker C: Same thing we in year ten and you bringing up something from the first. [00:50:16] Speaker B: Two months, then that's your fault. [00:50:18] Speaker C: It's my fault? [00:50:19] Speaker B: That's your fault how? Because you're not going to talk about me. Something that happened in the first two months. Ten years later, you're going to be talking to yourself. I'm not discussing that. I refuse to discuss that. That's on you. [00:50:35] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:50:35] Speaker B: Think you got me over a barrel because you upset? No, I'm cool. If you're just going to get mad 20 minutes, just go ahead and be mad now, not gain 20 minutes like daylight savings time. I gained something here. If you going to just be mad, go ahead and be mad. But you're not going to talk to me for an hour and be mad. I'm not doing both. I just don't see the sense in it. And own your stuff. Yes, I did that. Apologize, make amends, correct the behavior. But I'm not going to keep just doing the same thing over and over and over and over again. That's not healthy for either one of the persons. [00:51:21] Speaker C: No, because you end up stuck in a rut in this. [00:51:24] Speaker B: Well, you actually cycle, you actually get beat up. And now you transfer this damage to someone else. It might be your kids, your coworkers, your next relationship, your next relationship, your friends. I'm not walking around with all this baggage on me when I finish this altercation with you and this at the house. If it's at the house, if it's at the house when I go to work, I'm not taking that to work with me. Just like if I have something at work, it ain't coming back to the house. [00:51:50] Speaker C: No, but some people feel like a person should not be able to compartmentalize their life in a sense of, well, if you're upset in this aspect and you say I can't do and I need whatever I need in this aspect of my life, you're not supposed to be able to function in the other parts. [00:52:11] Speaker B: Why not? So you get mad with your kids and kick the dog. Dog didn't do nothing to you. That dog is innocent. Or vice versa. You know what? I'm saying it's the kid's dog. So the dog did something and you screamed on the kid. No, they're completely separate. And if you separate things, they don't run together. This is why a lot of women and some men come home exhausted, don't even know why they're tired. They are mostly spun all day long. [00:52:42] Speaker C: What you about to do? Go to sleep? [00:52:44] Speaker B: I don't even know. I'm just so drained. You drained because you're not separating. Your day, it went from traffic to work stress to the kids, to the kids, to somebody moving your stapler, and it just all compiles on itself. [00:53:01] Speaker C: And then by the time you get home, you mad about the toothpaste being left open. [00:53:05] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, you came back. Who keep dirtying up my house? Who keep coming in this house, leaving dishes in the sink? [00:53:13] Speaker C: Well, I said that the other day. [00:53:14] Speaker B: I said, who keeps doing this to me? Who keeps doing this? I'm fighting for my life. Who keeps leaving the license? You can't just let things run together and run you ragged because it's only one you. Hey, sometimes it's not going to get done because I'm not sitting up all night worrying about nothing to do tomorrow. I'm going to sleep, man. And in the morning, hey, y'all, I ain't got it. What y'all going to do? What's your next move, player? I ain't got it. I'm going to try to get it. I'm going to try to be reasonable. [00:53:56] Speaker C: With it, but I ain't got it. [00:53:58] Speaker B: Monday, I don't have it now. Wednesday I might have it, but today I don't have it. I don't have the mental capacity. I don't have the financial capacity. I don't have the emotional capacity. Not today. I'm not doing this every day. So I try to be kind of live like, light hearted. And I'm going to say what I got to say so I don't have to be mad. I ain't walking away and say, yeah, I should have told you shelf by yourself. No, I'm going to say what I. [00:54:27] Speaker C: Got to say and leave it right there. Yes. [00:54:31] Speaker B: And sometimes you have to leave it right there. [00:54:33] Speaker C: And that's where we'll leave this. [00:54:34] Speaker B: That's where we leave. Okay. [00:54:35] Speaker C: Right here. Cl, how can the people find you? [00:54:40] Speaker B: You can find me every Monday and Wednesday here on relationship status podcast. You can find me on Instagram at Cl twobutler and some other stuff. But I'm here. [00:54:53] Speaker C: All right, then you can find me on all social media platforms at the knife wonder if you want to join the conversation, email us relstat [email protected] don't forget yet to join the relationship status advice group on Facebook and follow the relationship status page on Facebook and on all social media platforms. Until the next time, y'all, we're out.

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