March 14, 2024


237th Date: Is He Slow Drippin?

Hosted by

Yusuf In The Building C.L. Butler Nique Crews
237th Date: Is He Slow Drippin?
Relationship Status Podcast
237th Date: Is He Slow Drippin?

Mar 14 2024 | 00:56:41


Show Notes

Hosts: C.L. Nique, & Yusuf 

In this episode,  Yusuf & C.L. is once again joined by Eddie Griffin. They start by exploring the concept of vulnerability and its role in fostering intimacy, emphasizing the importance of open communication and emotional honesty. the team discusses the impact of past experiences on current relationships, highlighting how unresolved issues can affect one's ability to connect with others.

As the conversation progresses, the crew tackles gender dynamics and societal expectations, examining how traditional gender roles can influence relationship dynamics. They explore the idea of balance in relationships, emphasizing the importance of mutual understanding and support.

The discussion takes a thought-provoking turn as they delve into the pitfalls of oversharing in dating and the need for personal growth before seeking companionship. They explore the concept of self-awareness and the journey of self-discovery, emphasizing the value of solitude in understanding one's own needs and desires.

Throughout the episode, the hosts provide insightful commentary and share personal anecdotes, creating a compelling narrative that resonates with listeners. With humor and sincerity, they navigate the complexities of modern romance, offering listeners valuable insights and practical advice for navigating the ever-changing landscape of relationships.


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Episode Transcript

[00:00:00] Speaker A: You do you have a podcast that you're passionate about? Are you looking for a professional studio to help bring your vision to life? Then look no further than Crux Media Group Studios. Located at nine three West Evans street in Florence, South Carolina, Crux Media Group Studios is a full service podcast studio that offers recording, editing, consultation, live streaming, video recording and more. We have state of the art equipment and a team of experienced professionals who can help you create a podcast that is professional, polished and engaging. Whether you're a first time podcaster or a seasoned pro, Crux Media Group Studios can help you take your podcast to the next level. Contact us today at 843-407-1673 to learn more about our services and to schedule a consultation. [00:01:04] Speaker B: Hello, welcome to relationship status. This is your host, Cl Butler and. [00:01:09] Speaker C: Your boy Yousef in the building. And remember, you could catch us on all podcast platforms as well as Join us on social media re L S T a T podcast. See? [00:01:20] Speaker B: Tell me about it, man. [00:01:21] Speaker C: How's the day going today? [00:01:23] Speaker B: Great. I only have great days. [00:01:26] Speaker C: Nothing less, nothing less, nothing less. Even when it's raining? [00:01:30] Speaker B: Yeah, I just don't work when it rain. But it's cool. Like to be at the house inside, just inside somebody. [00:01:40] Speaker C: We have somebody inside with us. Okay. [00:01:43] Speaker B: I don't know where we're going with that. [00:01:45] Speaker C: Ms. Eddie Griffin has joined us again. [00:01:48] Speaker B: There's a lot of people in this building. Okay, she's in the house. She's back. Hi. [00:01:54] Speaker D: Hello. [00:01:54] Speaker B: Hello. How are you doing? [00:01:56] Speaker D: How are. [00:01:57] Speaker B: Great, I'm great. How's everything been with you? [00:02:01] Speaker D: It's been. [00:02:02] Speaker B: It's been. Wow. What happened? You just to talk you out of something. You need us to talk you out of something? [00:02:08] Speaker D: Oh, no, I've been working like crazy. And yesterday? Okay, I got hammered. That's it. [00:02:14] Speaker B: At work? At work? [00:02:16] Speaker D: Not at work. No. [00:02:18] Speaker B: You got hammered, like as in. [00:02:20] Speaker D: No, I got beat up. [00:02:21] Speaker B: Spirits. [00:02:21] Speaker D: I got beat up for the last twelve days with work. With work, yeah. Yesterday I saw my family and we got hammered. [00:02:30] Speaker C: With spirits? [00:02:31] Speaker B: With spirits. Okay. And after you were hammered, what did you figure out? [00:02:36] Speaker D: I needed a shower and go to bed. [00:02:38] Speaker B: Okay. [00:02:41] Speaker D: I need to go to sleep. [00:02:43] Speaker B: Okay. So you mentioned showers. Have a thing on that shit on here. Significant other takes a shower, right? You come in and he's putting all in his belly button. His navel. How do you feel about that? Men all in their navels or belly buttons. [00:03:08] Speaker D: I mean, if it's dry. [00:03:11] Speaker B: I'm just asking how you feel. I want to know how you feel, I wonder why. [00:03:14] Speaker D: Because they say the navel is like the opening for a lot of things. [00:03:17] Speaker B: You know what I mean? Women put all in there. [00:03:20] Speaker D: They put certain oils, oils for healing and all that in their belly button. [00:03:25] Speaker B: See yourself is not culture like myself. You can clearly see he's surprised. [00:03:32] Speaker D: Oils and certain type of tinctures in there, like too. For healing? [00:03:36] Speaker B: Yes. So if he was doing that, would that be appropriate? [00:03:39] Speaker D: I would wonder what was going on. I wouldn't get like freaked out. [00:03:42] Speaker B: Okay, but what do you mean, okay? What would be a question? He asked what's going on? Maybe he just wants to feel good. [00:03:47] Speaker D: Well, if oiling up your baby belly button makes you feel great, sir, discontinue all in your belly button. [00:03:53] Speaker B: Just continue. [00:03:54] Speaker D: Just don't oil. [00:03:55] Speaker C: You wouldn't feel. [00:03:57] Speaker D: I would say something every time you did it, though. I'd be like, you did it again. [00:04:00] Speaker B: Okay, now, why. I thought this is a safe space for your partner. For your partner. But why can't he put all in his neighbor? [00:04:07] Speaker D: What's going on with the belly button? [00:04:08] Speaker B: I don't know what's going on. I'm just asking, why can't he put all in his neighbor? You all want men to be these open people. You want to say he's honest and he wants to be in touch with his feminine side and his sexuality. [00:04:24] Speaker D: I don't know if that's feminine or not. [00:04:25] Speaker B: He can't put all in his navel. [00:04:27] Speaker A: He can. [00:04:27] Speaker D: I mean, I'm not saying he can't. [00:04:29] Speaker B: But you're clearly going to be bothered. [00:04:32] Speaker D: I'm not going to be bothered. [00:04:33] Speaker B: No, you're not going to be upset. You're going to look at him and question him all in his navel. [00:04:39] Speaker D: I'm just going to want to know, like, is it ashy or do you just derive pleasure from the greasy? [00:04:46] Speaker C: Is he like sticking his finger in the navel? [00:04:48] Speaker D: Is he dropping the oil in there? Or is he like, you have to. [00:04:51] Speaker B: Have a big navel for that, right? That's wild, right? [00:04:54] Speaker D: Is he like dropping all drops in there? [00:04:56] Speaker B: That's crazy. I didn't think of that. If he was talking to me, I'd be like, she didn't make you feel safe. [00:05:17] Speaker D: Come on, love, oil that belly button. Okay, oil it up. [00:05:21] Speaker C: Would you help him oil it? [00:05:22] Speaker D: I'm not touching it, though. I don't know, but women do it. I wouldn't want nobody to touch my. [00:05:27] Speaker B: Okay, so you stand just personal space. [00:05:30] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:05:30] Speaker B: Excuse me. [00:05:31] Speaker D: Don't touch my belly button. You tried to take me. [00:05:37] Speaker B: Wow. So this would be a thing for you. [00:05:40] Speaker D: I wouldn't mind. [00:05:41] Speaker B: I'd just be like, would you tell your associates or girlfriend? [00:05:46] Speaker D: You don't tell stuff like that. [00:05:47] Speaker B: Not even to your bestest friend? [00:05:49] Speaker D: No, because then they bring it up, and now I got to hit you, girl. [00:05:51] Speaker B: Okay. [00:05:52] Speaker C: That's why your boyfriend be oiling the belly button. [00:05:54] Speaker B: Yeah, belly button. [00:05:56] Speaker C: Oil having boyfriend. Okay. [00:05:59] Speaker D: And I'm going to get mad, like, girl, mind your business. Belly button. [00:06:04] Speaker B: Just because your guy's belly button is ashy. [00:06:06] Speaker D: That's why it's crusty and dry, girl. [00:06:10] Speaker B: Okay, but you all like these deep brothers and incense. [00:06:14] Speaker D: Yeah, incense of the shea butter community. [00:06:20] Speaker B: You're full time, part time. [00:06:21] Speaker C: She didn't know it was a community. [00:06:22] Speaker D: I didn't know community. [00:06:23] Speaker B: Is it part time or full time? [00:06:24] Speaker D: This is full time. [00:06:25] Speaker B: So you'd be, like, grounding your feet. [00:06:28] Speaker D: We got crystals throughout the house being. [00:06:30] Speaker B: Like, Amy's 22 cent. You got, like, crystals in the bra? Crystals. [00:06:36] Speaker D: I don't got crystals in the bra, but I got them. [00:06:37] Speaker B: They had my fucking in your car. Franken, merch. What is it? [00:06:42] Speaker D: Frankincense. [00:06:43] Speaker B: Frankincense. You know what? [00:06:45] Speaker C: They gave Jesus Frankincense and Merck. [00:06:47] Speaker D: Jesus off. A little bit of perfume. [00:06:49] Speaker B: Okay. Florida water. So you get Florida water, too. [00:06:54] Speaker C: You know what? [00:06:55] Speaker B: I still got that box from that girl from Florida. [00:07:00] Speaker C: Elena, the clairvoyant. [00:07:02] Speaker B: No, I threw that stuff in garbage. [00:07:04] Speaker C: Whatever she was, she didn't tell us. [00:07:07] Speaker B: Nothing about the pandemic. She was on the show, so she skipped COVID. This is before COVID But she ain't. She was seeing all this other stuff. [00:07:18] Speaker C: No, she's ain't no COVID, man. We got to run that episode back because that was the first episode of the first two episodes of 2020. [00:07:27] Speaker B: Was it? [00:07:27] Speaker C: Yeah, it was the first two episodes of 2020. [00:07:29] Speaker D: Oh, I'm going back. [00:07:30] Speaker B: Yeah. I don't know. [00:07:31] Speaker C: First two episodes. I'm going to put the link to. [00:07:33] Speaker B: It in the description, but she gave us, like, some rocks and stuff. Yeah, she gave us, like, a little box of something. Yes. Sand, crystals, sage. [00:07:43] Speaker C: A thing of Florida water. Some little index cards with sands on. [00:07:47] Speaker D: Yeah. I'm not into receiving things from people, though. [00:07:50] Speaker B: You're not? [00:07:51] Speaker D: The whole, here's a rock and here's a crystal. No, ma'am. [00:07:55] Speaker B: But you'll go to store and buy it. [00:07:57] Speaker D: No, ma'am. I have, like, one source that I get myself from, and that's it. [00:08:02] Speaker B: But you do buy it. [00:08:04] Speaker D: Yeah, but just, like, somebody's randomly handing it to me. [00:08:07] Speaker B: She was coming on the show, but she was bringing. She bought. [00:08:11] Speaker D: Have you all used them? [00:08:13] Speaker B: I threw mine in the garbage. I got rid of all that stuff at the gas station. [00:08:21] Speaker D: You didn't go through and sage the house? [00:08:23] Speaker B: Not sagin. Oh, I don't even have air freshener at my house, so I don't even know what you all talking about. You know who's an air freshener connoisseur? Be easy. Be easy. This right here. Set the room. No. You got a gun and spraying air fresh. What are we doing? That's Mick. Like, what's going on? [00:08:57] Speaker D: I'm uncomfortable, but safe place. [00:08:59] Speaker B: Yes. [00:08:59] Speaker C: Is that what it is? [00:09:00] Speaker B: Going to smell good if I got to get the shooting in here. [00:09:03] Speaker D: It takes the gunpowder smell out. [00:09:05] Speaker B: Okay. I don't know. It's just a unique balance that people have. [00:09:10] Speaker D: Guns and incense. [00:09:13] Speaker B: That's a thing. That's a thing. I could see it. I could see how they go together. Yeah, but I didn't judge him. I just kept moving. I just like, well, maybe that's his thing. [00:09:24] Speaker C: Oh, gosh, that was funny. I'm sorry. [00:09:26] Speaker B: But he did know. He did explain why he likes certain. [00:09:31] Speaker C: Why he likes certain. [00:09:32] Speaker B: Yes. [00:09:33] Speaker D: So. Oh, he went into it. [00:09:34] Speaker B: I had to ask. I'm going to ask her, like, hey, what are we doing here? That's not mace or nothing. That's just regular. He's way beyond, like, black ICE. [00:09:48] Speaker D: Oh, he went past it? [00:09:49] Speaker B: Yeah. You only know black ICE is. Look at. He's uncultured, so. [00:09:52] Speaker C: I am uncultured. I don't do that. [00:09:54] Speaker B: Black ICE is air freshener. [00:09:56] Speaker C: The one. The tree to hang in the black. [00:09:58] Speaker B: ICE window is the classic. [00:09:59] Speaker C: That's a strong scent. [00:10:01] Speaker D: I bought one by mistake once. I was like, oh, black ICE. And got in the car was like, it smells like a man. [00:10:06] Speaker B: Yeah, it smells like. [00:10:07] Speaker D: It smells like coke. [00:10:08] Speaker C: It's very strong. [00:10:09] Speaker D: Yes. [00:10:12] Speaker B: You didn't know because I had to tell you. [00:10:14] Speaker C: You had to tell me what the thing was. But I've seen the black ICE one then I've smelt them before. [00:10:19] Speaker B: But you wasn't aware of what they are. [00:10:21] Speaker C: No, not what you saying. Black ICE. I thought you're still talking about air freshener for the house. [00:10:25] Speaker B: It's auto air freshener. [00:10:28] Speaker C: I didn't hear the word auto. [00:10:29] Speaker B: I didn't say auto. I just said black ICE. [00:10:31] Speaker C: Yeah, exactly. [00:10:35] Speaker B: He's Afro Latino, too. He is. He's Afro Latino. Afro Panamanian. What are you? Panama Panamanian? No. What's the thing? Dr. Umar says Pan African. He Pan African. He's a real pan African. [00:10:56] Speaker C: What? You will not pan African. You cannot pick on me because Nick not here. [00:11:01] Speaker B: Yeah. Pan African. Yeah. So you didn't even know he was Pan African, did you? It's a lot of stuff you don't know. I'm just here sharing light so people will know. [00:11:11] Speaker C: I'm gonna let you live today. [00:11:12] Speaker B: I'm just saying. You're not pan African. [00:11:15] Speaker C: Pan African. I'm panamanian. Trinidadian. [00:11:19] Speaker B: He's pan African. [00:11:20] Speaker D: That's a lot. [00:11:20] Speaker B: That's a lot. Pan African. [00:11:22] Speaker D: How do you mix them both together? [00:11:23] Speaker C: My mom is from Trinidad and my dad is from Panama. [00:11:26] Speaker D: But can you put them all? Can you mix the trinidadian and the Panamanian, like, trinidadian? [00:11:29] Speaker C: Trinomanian. Trinomanian. [00:11:32] Speaker D: Trinomanian. Pan Trinomanian. [00:11:34] Speaker C: No, it's not pan Trinomanian. [00:11:35] Speaker B: You are Pan. You are Pan. [00:11:39] Speaker C: It's okay, I got it. Pansexual chance called pan tattooed on one of my arms. [00:11:45] Speaker B: Pan American. [00:11:45] Speaker C: No, Trinomanian. [00:11:48] Speaker B: Trinomanian. Is that what that says? [00:11:50] Speaker D: Trinomanian? [00:11:51] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:11:51] Speaker B: I just thought you spelt it wrong. I didn't even say nothing. I've seen it many times. I thought it was just spelled wrong. [00:11:56] Speaker D: I thought I just couldn't spell. [00:11:57] Speaker B: Yeah, I thought it was spelt wrong. I didn't know that's what it said. [00:12:00] Speaker C: It's the island of Trinidad with the panamanian flag inside of it. And it says Trinomanian. [00:12:04] Speaker B: I was like, who told you to do that? [00:12:06] Speaker C: What do you mean, who told me to do that? [00:12:08] Speaker B: Why would you do that? [00:12:09] Speaker D: I just thought I couldn't spell. [00:12:11] Speaker B: I didn't know what it was because I thought it was Tasmanian he had on his own. I was just like, you know what? I'm not. [00:12:18] Speaker C: Me and my sister got the same tattoo. [00:12:20] Speaker B: Do you? That's your bonding? [00:12:22] Speaker C: It was a bonding session, okay? At my brother's house one night. Okay, listen, a lot of alcohol involved. [00:12:29] Speaker B: I'm not here to judge. [00:12:30] Speaker D: As long as you don't get face tats, it's all good. [00:12:32] Speaker C: No, I'm not getting no face tat. [00:12:34] Speaker B: Face tats, okay. No face tats. So are you pro tattoo or anti tattoo? [00:12:38] Speaker D: I'm pro tattoo. [00:12:39] Speaker C: Okay. [00:12:39] Speaker B: You have tattoos? [00:12:40] Speaker D: I have tattoos. [00:12:41] Speaker B: How many tattoos? [00:12:42] Speaker D: I have, like, a sleeve on this. [00:12:43] Speaker B: Arm, your whole arm, the whole chipping. Oh, I've never seen that before. Maybe because you always dress long sleeves. I don't know. I didn't see our jacket. [00:12:53] Speaker D: It's all always come in. [00:12:54] Speaker B: So you got all one arm. Nothing on the other arm. [00:12:57] Speaker D: Nothing on the other arm. I've got one behind my ear and one on my waist. [00:13:02] Speaker B: So what does the one behind your ear represent? [00:13:04] Speaker D: It says half faith. [00:13:05] Speaker B: Have faith. Behind your ear? Behind my ear should like, put it on the side of your finger or something. [00:13:14] Speaker D: You have faith. [00:13:15] Speaker B: You have faith because you're trying to pull it behind your ear. Oh, no. Okay. Hey, listen, does that mean something? Significance? [00:13:24] Speaker D: That just means have faith. [00:13:25] Speaker C: Okay. [00:13:26] Speaker D: Yeah. I carry that little note behind my ear. [00:13:28] Speaker B: Okay. [00:13:29] Speaker C: Like a pencil? [00:13:30] Speaker D: Yeah. It's always there to little. [00:13:32] Speaker B: Okay, where are we starting at today? I'm anti tattoo. [00:13:35] Speaker D: Anti tattoo? [00:13:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:13:36] Speaker C: He is anti a lot of things. [00:13:38] Speaker B: I don't believe in him. [00:13:39] Speaker D: Let's get into it one day. [00:13:40] Speaker C: Okay. [00:13:40] Speaker B: I mean, today's a good day. It's good. You're not going to convince me not going to get a tattoo. [00:13:49] Speaker C: Why would you not get a tattoo? [00:13:51] Speaker B: I just don't have anything important enough to write on my skin. You know what kills me with tattoos? People just had a name. That's cool. But you didn't know your name. [00:14:02] Speaker C: Yeah. I don't get having your own name. [00:14:04] Speaker B: No, I don't. [00:14:06] Speaker D: I don't like the wings, though. The little small wings people get on. [00:14:09] Speaker B: Them on the chest. [00:14:10] Speaker D: I don't like it. [00:14:11] Speaker C: I don't like. Okay. Women with tattoos, like, high up here. [00:14:15] Speaker B: What does that mean? [00:14:16] Speaker C: Cover the whole. What's it called? Cleavage. [00:14:19] Speaker D: And bloodwise. She'll fight you. [00:14:24] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:14:24] Speaker C: I just see 45. [00:14:27] Speaker D: She choose Newports. [00:14:28] Speaker B: Tattoos. Okay. Does tattoos say something about people? [00:14:35] Speaker C: I think it used to. I don't think now it does, now. [00:14:38] Speaker D: It doesn't because it's become. [00:14:39] Speaker B: Because so many people I know, a 9th grader with like ten tats, I was like, what have you been through? What have you been through? [00:14:47] Speaker C: I saw somebody getting their. Allowing their 7th grader to get a tat. [00:14:51] Speaker D: Please. [00:14:51] Speaker B: Of what? [00:14:52] Speaker C: I don't even know what it was. [00:14:53] Speaker D: My 7th grader would. [00:14:54] Speaker C: It was posted on. They posted it. My baby getting her first tat. [00:14:59] Speaker D: The baby is still a baby. [00:15:00] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Okay. [00:15:02] Speaker C: And I was like, all right, so. [00:15:04] Speaker B: You think it's a road we went down once everybody started getting tattoos. Once everybody started down. [00:15:09] Speaker C: No, I think once everybody started doing tattoos. [00:15:13] Speaker B: When a lot of people do tattoos. [00:15:14] Speaker C: Because they became more accessible, like, anybody could get a tattoo gun and teach themselves how to tattoo. So now, oh, my cousin got a tattoo. Oh, shoot, I can go. [00:15:23] Speaker B: We go to your house because I ain't going front. [00:15:25] Speaker C: Like, if you got accessibility, and you don't got to pay as much as going into a shop. [00:15:29] Speaker B: Yeah, but it looks like you didn't pay. You didn't pay nothing for that, right? I could tell which tattoo you went to. [00:15:37] Speaker C: There was one I got in college. There was a tattoo artist came to. [00:15:42] Speaker B: The dorm, and he was like, that's the number one sign right there. [00:15:45] Speaker C: Not to do it, man. I got the tattoo gone now. [00:15:49] Speaker D: Yeah, that's the one I have right here. Mine is faded. [00:15:54] Speaker C: Yeah, faded all the way out. [00:15:55] Speaker B: Very much college good ink. [00:15:57] Speaker D: They didn't use good ink. It's very much college. [00:16:00] Speaker C: Pretty much college given. Okay. [00:16:03] Speaker D: He's given up for how many? Girl, I'm on the way. [00:16:05] Speaker C: I'm on the way. [00:16:06] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:16:06] Speaker D: See you in a. [00:16:14] Speaker B: Was. That was a long intermission. No, that was a long introduction. [00:16:17] Speaker C: Introduction. [00:16:18] Speaker B: We're going to talk about something today. Yeah. [00:16:20] Speaker C: So young Eddie or young Eddie. Yeah. [00:16:26] Speaker B: How do you feel about all the comedian beef since you trans comedian? So how do you feel about all this stuff going on? [00:16:39] Speaker D: I don't really think there's a beef. I think there just needs to be, like, conversations had. You know what I mean? I don't really think there's a beef. [00:16:46] Speaker B: It's just their time. [00:16:47] Speaker D: Is it their time? And then comedians are funny, so of course they're going to be dishing out stuff. [00:16:51] Speaker B: Okay. [00:16:51] Speaker D: That's going to stir the pot a little bit if it's not scripted. I really think there's, like, they conspire before. You know what I mean? [00:17:06] Speaker B: Maybe. I don't know. [00:17:09] Speaker D: It seems like it's planned. [00:17:10] Speaker C: Like, all of a sudden it was cat, and then it was this person, and then it's been grumblings before, because they've always had, like people have always had. [00:17:18] Speaker B: I don't think it was new stuff said, though. It was just kind of stuff. Yeah. [00:17:21] Speaker C: But now with the explosion, I wouldn't even say, because social media has always kind of been a thing since it's been out, but it's exploded in recent years, especially since COVID Now you got people trying to go viral over anything. [00:17:35] Speaker D: Over any and everything. [00:17:36] Speaker C: So if you get the right person in the right seat, you ask them the right questions, then go, okay, there, you know, shoot. You can't fault the podcaster or the interviewer for them egging it on. But at the end of the day, I think that's what a lot of it is tied to, because even the Mike Epps and Shannon Shannon thing, they fell out. And just like that, they was good. [00:18:00] Speaker D: They were good. Again. I think it's more publicity than anything else. But I enjoyed cat Williams sitting down with what he. [00:18:10] Speaker C: Of it. I just think some of it was exaggerated. [00:18:13] Speaker D: It was exaggerated. But the. Good morning. Steve Harvey's hair was fake. [00:18:16] Speaker C: Yeah, sent me Harvey's hair been fake for a minute. [00:18:24] Speaker B: I didn't know that on the Steve Harvey show until after it was done. I didn't know his hair was fake. [00:18:29] Speaker D: I want to touch it now. [00:18:31] Speaker B: He can't touch it now. [00:18:34] Speaker D: He needs to bring that back and just let people. [00:18:36] Speaker C: Just let people go. What? Lift it. [00:18:40] Speaker B: There's somebody here in Florence who does like pieces. [00:18:44] Speaker D: Yeah, he does. [00:18:44] Speaker C: There's somebody I know that got a hair piece, looks horrible. [00:18:48] Speaker B: But when people get on the island, who is this person? [00:18:57] Speaker D: Do we know this person? [00:18:59] Speaker C: Somebody else in the room knows this person. [00:19:03] Speaker B: Please, I don't know that it'd be true. I know what it looks like. You didn't have no hair. Now you got a whole head full of hair. So you're just going to come out with all hair? Whole hair full of hair. Use ball head. All right. If you're bold enough to leave and come back and your hair is grown and waves. And waves, man, I'll tell you, my. [00:19:30] Speaker D: Ball head to waves. [00:19:34] Speaker B: And still has the edge of stuff on it. Why you still got the. [00:19:41] Speaker C: Why you still got. Put on the jean? [00:19:42] Speaker B: No, the chalk lines. [00:19:46] Speaker D: Why you got the chalk line and you ain't got no haircut. [00:19:49] Speaker B: You just had a wig and they. [00:19:51] Speaker D: Put the chalk around the wig. Please. [00:19:53] Speaker B: I don't know, I just didn't get it. But I'm not here to judge people. But I didn't get it. But I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't do it. [00:20:02] Speaker C: I don't even want them to put chalk lines on my regular outline. [00:20:06] Speaker D: My wig. I'm mad now. [00:20:07] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:20:07] Speaker C: Oh, God. [00:20:08] Speaker B: That's it. That's it. [00:20:10] Speaker C: But he like it, though. Anyway, speaking of, like, a lot of people liking a particular subject out there in the social media streets. Eddie, you brought it up. What is that? [00:20:26] Speaker D: Is there ever really 50 50 in. [00:20:29] Speaker B: A relationship in finance, finances or emotions? Finances. [00:20:35] Speaker D: I think the conversation is mostly about finances, because when you say 50 50, people automatically dive into money. [00:20:43] Speaker B: Okay, now, what does 50 50 look like? What does it sound like? [00:20:50] Speaker D: What does it sound like? It sounds like everybody doing their share. Almost like clean up. Clean up. [00:20:58] Speaker B: Okay. [00:20:59] Speaker D: Yeah. Equal amounts of effort, equal amounts of time. [00:21:02] Speaker B: So if I have a $500 car payment and there's a $500 insurance payment, you make one. I made the other. [00:21:10] Speaker D: That's what they think 50 50 looks like. [00:21:13] Speaker B: That's what women think 50 50. [00:21:14] Speaker D: That's what some people think 50 50 looks like because we can't say women because men indulge in this argument as well. [00:21:20] Speaker B: Okay. [00:21:21] Speaker C: I think men indulge in the latter part of the argument. [00:21:24] Speaker B: What's the latter? [00:21:25] Speaker C: The latter part of the argument is the woman having to bring something to the table. [00:21:31] Speaker B: Is that what bringing something to the table is? [00:21:33] Speaker C: That's what some of the conversation has been like. Women should bring something to the table. And I think the latter part of the argument that men are taking is, okay, well, we're not necessarily saying it's 50 50. Whatever you have, we'll meet you where you are, where women are on the other side of the. On the former part of the argument are like, yeah, 50 50. It's got to be, he's got to have this and he's got to have that and he's got to have this for me to give whatever portion I'm going to give to the relationship. Right. And it's solely focused on the issue I have with the argument. Is it solely focused on the financial aspect of it? That all the other aspects of a relationship go out the window that definitely need both parties to be working on, not just finances. So now we're focusing on this part of the conversation. And although finances do play a part in a relationship, it shouldn't be the. [00:22:25] Speaker D: Sole focus of what it shouldn't be. But the thing is, men are having this conversation as well. You get what I'm saying? And so we always like to say that men are just doing this blah blah and women are doing this blah blah blah. We're all doing the same things, the same conversations. We coming on the ladder end. What do you mean, we coming on the ladder? In saying that we'll meet you wherever you are. We have women that do that, too, because I'm one of those women. You get what I'm saying? That we'll meet you where you are, and then you have men that come in and, like, you have to have blah blah blah blah blah blah out in order to be with me, too. [00:22:56] Speaker B: Well, I think that's the problem. [00:22:57] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:22:58] Speaker B: Men can't make demands. Only women can make demands. [00:23:00] Speaker D: Women can't either. Not in this day or time. [00:23:02] Speaker B: You can. [00:23:02] Speaker D: We absolutely cannot. [00:23:04] Speaker B: Way more acceptable woman making. [00:23:06] Speaker D: It's not as acceptable as you think. It's only acceptable when we get in these small rooms and you only have two men giving their opinion. [00:23:12] Speaker B: No, because we're talking about one area of finance. [00:23:17] Speaker D: In the area of finance. No, that conversation is not the same. [00:23:20] Speaker B: Okay, but when, I mean, women are used to demanding, it's throughout a relationship. [00:23:26] Speaker D: Yes. [00:23:26] Speaker B: So women can request things of men that aren't necessarily required of them, and men are more likely to accept these things. Coming to a woman saying 50 50, you sound broke. Whether you're broke or not, you sound desperate. [00:23:42] Speaker D: It sounds the same thing for a woman, though. [00:23:44] Speaker B: No, it does not. [00:23:45] Speaker D: If we come in and say, this is what we required, it always gets pushed to the back burner of, we are asking for too much. And so if we tell you all that you're asking for too much, then we don't give enough anyway to be asking for anything. [00:23:58] Speaker B: Well, you just can't make all the demands at once. But I do truly believe now men are more accepting of a woman's request or demand more so than a man is to a woman. [00:24:09] Speaker D: I can't agree with you with that one. [00:24:11] Speaker B: Why not? [00:24:12] Speaker D: Because I've been in situations where it's not been like that. Well, you get what I'm saying. [00:24:17] Speaker B: But I'm saying, not personally to you in general. [00:24:21] Speaker D: In general, it's still not. Times are different. [00:24:25] Speaker B: Men go for it way more than. [00:24:26] Speaker D: Women, and men are different. Maybe this is an age demographic thing. You get what I'm saying, boy, men are different these days. That's just the bottom line. [00:24:36] Speaker B: I understand the different part, but how are they different? [00:24:41] Speaker D: They are different. They ask and demand the same ways that women do. [00:24:45] Speaker B: Well, see, first of all, that's not going to work. [00:24:50] Speaker D: That's why it doesn't. [00:24:51] Speaker B: But they do, because men and women aren't equal. [00:24:54] Speaker D: Never will be equal. [00:24:55] Speaker B: And I don't mean equal as in men are greater or women are less, or women are greater or men or less. Throughout the course of any relationship, there's going to be a time where someone has to take on a bigger burden of any situation that's in a relationship, any relationship. [00:25:10] Speaker D: Friendship with strict. Yeah, family. [00:25:12] Speaker B: And I think for the guidelines of relationship, when men revert to what they think women want and think it has to be equal, it'll never be equal, because it never will. [00:25:23] Speaker D: And of course, it's all about balance. But that is not what we're working with in the generalization of everyone. That's not what we're working with. [00:25:31] Speaker B: So a man can come to a woman and say, I expect you to do 50% of something. [00:25:36] Speaker D: I mean, they will. They can and they will. [00:25:38] Speaker B: Why would a woman even listen to them. [00:25:40] Speaker C: Has a man told that before? [00:25:41] Speaker D: We have this conversation all the time. [00:25:44] Speaker B: Who? Women or men? [00:25:46] Speaker D: Both sides. This is based on speaking to multiple people. Multiple men, multiple women. Men are demanding the exact same things that women are. [00:25:58] Speaker B: Well, first I think, and I don't want to say you went wrong, but this is where I think you went wrong. You're classifying everybody as a man. Some people are just male because of their anatomy. [00:26:08] Speaker D: Well, the male species they're having, males right now are having the same conversation. It, and I think that's where it gets tiring. You get what I'm saying? [00:26:17] Speaker B: Well, why would a woman listen to that conversation? [00:26:20] Speaker D: Well, you all listen to ours. The same thing. We might not have to entertain it. We don't have to deal with it. [00:26:26] Speaker C: We don't have a choice. [00:26:27] Speaker D: You have a choice. [00:26:28] Speaker B: I don't want to talk to men all day, but no sausage parties. [00:26:32] Speaker D: I mean, I get it, but you do have a choice now. You don't have a choice. [00:26:35] Speaker B: I don't think you do. If somebody has, in any relationship, someone has to be a leader. Someone has to be a follower. And during those course of relationships, the leader may be the follower, and the leader may be the follower, and the follower may be the leader. [00:26:52] Speaker D: It's going to be a change of. [00:26:52] Speaker B: Followers all the time. So if you come into a relationship expecting a woman to carry the burden of the relationship, I just think you set off an imbalance. [00:27:04] Speaker D: You have. You have. [00:27:07] Speaker B: So when a woman hears a man make that demand, she should run immediately. [00:27:14] Speaker C: But that's what happens, though. Yeah, I think that's what happens. [00:27:18] Speaker B: I think that what happens sounds like they argue with you or not you, but they talk to them like, okay, I'm cool. Thank you. [00:27:28] Speaker D: Yeah, they'll have those conversations. Just be like, oh, well, great. I've had that conversation before. I was like, well, glad I know. [00:27:35] Speaker C: And that's it. [00:27:36] Speaker D: That's it. [00:27:37] Speaker B: So when he says 50 50, he means it's getting a cable bill and. [00:27:40] Speaker D: Splitting it down the middle 50 50. [00:27:42] Speaker B: And we're talking about married people. We're talking about people in a relationship. [00:27:45] Speaker D: Right. [00:27:45] Speaker B: People in a relationship. [00:27:46] Speaker C: It's different than, it's a little different. [00:27:49] Speaker B: Than a married couple. [00:27:50] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:27:51] Speaker B: So you might have a little more lenient of a conversation about 50 50 with a person you're dating. [00:27:59] Speaker D: With the person you're dating. [00:28:00] Speaker B: Of course. Because I think men have to protect themselves in the capacity of, why would I take care of you? And you're not even committed to me paperwork wise. [00:28:15] Speaker D: Right. Women feel the same way, too. Why would I provide anything for you? And we're not doing anything paperwork wise. [00:28:24] Speaker B: But if we're doing something together, like we have an apartment together, that's together, it's not you doing. You got to have somewhere to stay. I got to have somewhere to stay. We just chose to stay together. That probably should be that. Now, if I'm asking you to adjust your life to accommodate my life, right. Then I think the financial responsibility falls on me a little more. But if we're both working, trying to get to a point, to get something else, it can easily be 50. [00:28:52] Speaker D: It can easily be 50 50. [00:28:53] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:28:53] Speaker B: And that's somewhat appropriate. [00:28:55] Speaker D: Right. [00:28:57] Speaker B: But for me to be splitting tabs with you at the table is wild. [00:29:01] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:29:01] Speaker D: That's crazy. [00:29:02] Speaker B: Two cards. [00:29:03] Speaker D: That's crazy. Why? [00:29:07] Speaker B: You want. [00:29:08] Speaker C: Can you split the bill in half, please? [00:29:10] Speaker B: Yeah. Because you probably shouldn't go out. [00:29:11] Speaker D: You shouldn't go out at all. You shouldn't be dating. [00:29:13] Speaker B: No. Or we need to order $25 worth of food. [00:29:16] Speaker D: Exactly. But you should. [00:29:17] Speaker B: Not that. I could pay for the two for 20, whatever it is, as long as I could pay for it. [00:29:21] Speaker D: If you at the table sweating when they come, get that tab and you shake it. You do not need to be. [00:29:28] Speaker B: Do you think finances are important? [00:29:30] Speaker D: I think finances are important, but I think we put too much emphasis on the finances. [00:29:35] Speaker B: Meaning? [00:29:36] Speaker D: Meaning there are other parts of relationship that are important outside of finances. [00:29:42] Speaker B: Okay. [00:29:43] Speaker C: I will say, I think maybe not finances, just a slight disagreements. Maybe not finances are important, but how a person manages their finances. [00:29:52] Speaker D: It's all about management are important. [00:29:53] Speaker B: Okay. How do you know how to manage the money? [00:29:57] Speaker C: I think if you're having conversation and through conversation and getting to know a person, you may not ask them how much money they have or whatever, but spending habits, and you've said this to me a lot, Cl, and I've learned a lot from you in this aspect of a person's relationship with money can sometimes dictate how they move, and you could tell what their relationship is with money because it'll dictate wholeheartedly how they move and how they do things. [00:30:23] Speaker B: Yeah, but that's not the lack of money. [00:30:24] Speaker C: No, that's what I'm saying. [00:30:25] Speaker D: I'm not talking about management. [00:30:27] Speaker C: It's about managing the money that you do have because you can date. Like somebody said, if you broke, you shouldn't be dating. Well, if I can manage my money, we may not be able to go here, or I may not need to. [00:30:38] Speaker B: Date you, but why do we need to go there? [00:30:40] Speaker C: No, it doesn't matter if we're spending time. To me, doesn't matter if we're spending time. I'm thinking, like, a person's management of their finances is the deal. Because I think a person can have money or have finances and not be able to manage their finances. There's people that got $100,000 jobs and never have money, are in debt or in major debt, serious debt. So it's the management of what you have. And then there's people who make 30, 40,000 and always can travel, don't have a lot of debt, do what is needed to do, and budget. Fine. So I just think it's the management of the finances. I think what has become a thing is the he got to have money. He got to make this amount of money. Well, if he makes this amount of money and he can't manage that amount of money, then how good is he or her to the situation of what you guys are trying to build? [00:31:37] Speaker D: Well, you know what I said, she's not a dime if she can't manage a dollar. And so going on a trip and blowing money, having a good time, and then you coming back and you can't pay your basic necessities, your light bill is behind and all that, what are you doing? There will be signs. There will be signs. Your hair is done, but you're having a problem paying your cell phone bill. None of that makes sense. There will be signs. [00:32:03] Speaker B: There will be signs. [00:32:04] Speaker D: There will be signs. Okay. [00:32:05] Speaker B: Not say a person has money. This is where I think the relationship of money comes in. But they have a scarce mentality. They say they have all the money you need, and they're not willing to give it up. So now it's just a money problem because he has the money. He applying the money to you may be the issue, because then that's not a money issue to me, or I still want you to pay your 50% because of my relationship with money. [00:32:34] Speaker C: But in the relationship, are you investing the money into the person or into the relationship? [00:32:41] Speaker B: You have to decide which is which. [00:32:42] Speaker D: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. [00:32:44] Speaker C: Because I think you should be investing into the relationship where I'm paying. [00:32:49] Speaker B: You should invest into the person. [00:32:51] Speaker C: Investing in the relationship is investing in the person. [00:32:54] Speaker B: No, they're two separate things to me. To you, to me. I think they're two separate things. [00:32:58] Speaker C: Okay. [00:33:00] Speaker B: I may want my woman to look a certain way, so maybe her budget allows her to get her nails done twice a month. Right. But it's probably best that she always has them done or always has their hair done, not in excess, but because it also makes you feel better about yourself, right? So I might invest in you as a person, so you understand how to better take care of yourself. But what I might be doing for the relationship is separate than from what I do for the individual. Sometimes I want to do something specifically for you that has nothing to do with our relationship. [00:33:41] Speaker D: Because you can pour into the relationship and neglect the person. [00:33:43] Speaker B: See? But say it again now. [00:33:45] Speaker D: Because you can almost put into the relationship and still somehow neglect the person. [00:33:49] Speaker B: Yes, you can. [00:33:50] Speaker C: Okay, I guess it's a better way of looking at it. But to me, when you say, hey, I'm going to. Because I want her to look good, feel good, and show her the importance. [00:34:03] Speaker B: Of it's for me too, it's for you too. [00:34:06] Speaker C: So that's why I say investing in her is an investment in the relationship. [00:34:09] Speaker B: No, that's not. It's two separate things. [00:34:11] Speaker C: But investing in her affects the relationship. [00:34:14] Speaker B: Affects investing in two different things. [00:34:16] Speaker C: Yeah, but if you're making an investment in the person you are, then in turn, maybe. [00:34:22] Speaker B: No, I'm solely investing in you. So it has an effect on our relationship because you're going to feel better. [00:34:30] Speaker C: Not entitled better, but doing that also makes you. It's also for you. You said as well, right? [00:34:37] Speaker B: No, it's selfishly for me, but I'm just saying if I get a haircut every week, you're not going to look like a bum. I can't have you looking like a bum. Why would I have you looking crazy? Like you're going to make me look bad. You might just need to look just like women. Get men and clean them up all the time. Men sometimes have to do that with women. So if that makes you feel better, makes you present better, it makes your world better. Because sometimes. [00:35:09] Speaker D: Yeah, I get that once. [00:35:10] Speaker B: Sometimes. There's a lot of dudes around here. They just really need to take a shower and get a haircut, put on some new draws, clean t shirt, and they'll not be so angry. They won't be as angry. And you can still be broke, but at least you feel good about what you got going on whole time. [00:35:27] Speaker D: Need to store. [00:35:27] Speaker B: That's all you need to do. That's all. You may go take a shower. You know what I'm saying? Don't run there and wash. Take a shower. Take a shower. Get you to about ten minutes in there. It is decompress. [00:35:43] Speaker C: But investing a person affects the relationship. [00:35:47] Speaker B: It affects the relationship. [00:35:48] Speaker C: Okay, then that means what I said. [00:35:53] Speaker B: Was wrong or I just disagree with you. I didn't say you were wrong. [00:35:56] Speaker C: No, I would say that because that's kind of what I wanted. The way you put it is kind of what I was saying. Even though I didn't say. Because to me, investing in the person is investing in the relationship. That was my thought on it. Like taking them to dinner, taking trips and whatever it is, you can investing in them, showing them a good time. [00:36:16] Speaker B: Well, that's not investigating. I think that is towards the relationship. [00:36:23] Speaker C: So like trips. [00:36:24] Speaker B: A trip for us. [00:36:26] Speaker C: For us, yeah. [00:36:27] Speaker B: Is investing in a relationship. [00:36:28] Speaker C: Okay. [00:36:30] Speaker B: That's not investing in a person because I took this trip for us, okay. If I go to dinner, I'm going for us, not you. [00:36:37] Speaker C: Even though she going to pick it. [00:36:39] Speaker B: I'm okay with you picking. I've given into that. The only reason, like me personally in my relationship, I would prefer her to pick the restaurant because she has all kind of food stuff and she don't feel like that. Even though you eat italian every day, now you don't feel like Italian. It's fine. I've just accepted it. Even though I still won't pay. I have accepted it. As long as we keep up certain price point, this is it, right? So it shouldn't matter. So conceded. No, concede, concede, concede, concede. That's when you say 50 50. I only ever think it's 50 50 either. I'm conceding and I'm paying. That's not 50 50 at all. But I understand that she may do things for me that I won't even understand that she's making a sacrifice in to do. And I think a lot of times women think men know the level of sacrifice they have made to do certain things. [00:37:42] Speaker D: No, we have to tell you all. That's what I wish women knew. [00:37:46] Speaker B: You do have to explain it. Don't tell me, just explain it to me. [00:37:49] Speaker D: That's what I mean. But explain. [00:37:51] Speaker B: It's going to take a few times, but I can't understand. [00:37:55] Speaker D: Because you all be in your own little man world doing your man thing. [00:38:02] Speaker B: Yeah, but it's vice versa because you all don't know. We don't know either, man. Like why do all this stuff and work all these other. If I did it for you or in spite of you, I don't think I should tell you about it. I think women want to tell you about it. [00:38:23] Speaker D: All. [00:38:23] Speaker B: I've been doing my whole, like what? [00:38:25] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:38:27] Speaker B: No. What? What are you saying no to? [00:38:35] Speaker D: I don't think it's necessary to tell somebody, like the little stuff that you've done to make their world. I guess what you feel makes their world a little better. Yeah. Okay. [00:38:43] Speaker B: Because I would prefer to just keep it myself, but there are certain things in relationship women will let you know. Yeah, but we don't see it as a sacrifice. [00:38:53] Speaker D: Yeah. And that's a conversation for another time. But, yeah. [00:38:57] Speaker B: Like, you cooked. I know it was a sacrifice, but you was off today. Just saying. Kind of had 16 hours. You could do these oodles and noodles together. But I'm sorry about all the sacrifice you had to make. [00:39:13] Speaker D: I can't relate that conversation. Okay. I can't relate. That's why I ain't saying nothing. [00:39:21] Speaker C: What is it? You cooked for me, but you ate, too. [00:39:23] Speaker B: Yeah. So you didn't really cook for me, but. Okay, I get the gist of what. [00:39:29] Speaker D: You'Re trying to say, but I cooked for you, too. [00:39:32] Speaker B: Yeah. I didn't pick this meal. You picked me. I'm just eating. Okay. So the 50 50 conversation kind of is. It usually starts about finance, but it's so much more. [00:39:45] Speaker D: So much more. And it's never 50 50. [00:39:47] Speaker B: Never. [00:39:47] Speaker D: If you're in relationship, sometimes somebody's going to be given 80, the other person, 20, 60, 40. All the time it goes back and forth. [00:39:54] Speaker B: It's going to be a back and forth. [00:39:55] Speaker D: And I think back and forth. [00:39:56] Speaker C: When you put numbers on it, it almost feels like keeping score. [00:39:58] Speaker D: And once you start keeping score or you're headed. [00:40:02] Speaker B: Yeah. I will always say you're not enjoying yourself if you can tell me everything you've done. [00:40:06] Speaker C: Yeah. Have you run off the list? Like, I did this. [00:40:09] Speaker B: This. [00:40:10] Speaker D: Have you been writing this down? [00:40:12] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:40:12] Speaker C: And you did this? [00:40:14] Speaker B: Yeah. Like the guy that had the spreadsheet. His wife didn't have sex with him for a year. He made a spreadsheet of every excuse she had every day for, like, 300. That's petty. But he is factual. [00:40:30] Speaker C: These are the facts. [00:40:32] Speaker B: We had sex three times this year, and this is the reason why we didn't have sex. [00:40:36] Speaker D: When you start tallying up things, you're headed for a downfall. [00:40:39] Speaker B: The downfall. [00:40:41] Speaker D: You can't miss it. You head for a downfall, man. [00:40:43] Speaker B: So why do women just don't like. [00:40:47] Speaker D: Facts the same way that men don't like feelings? I guess. We don't want to deal with it. [00:40:52] Speaker B: Yeah, but that doesn't make it right. [00:40:54] Speaker D: That doesn't make it right, but okay. [00:40:59] Speaker B: This is the difference with me. I can't argue your feelings. Your feelings are 100% correct. [00:41:07] Speaker D: Right. But that's where you all come in. It's about balance. You all help us to think logically, we help you to feel. [00:41:12] Speaker B: That's not facts. But that doesn't mean I don't feel. I just don't apply my feelings to every situation. [00:41:18] Speaker D: But that only comes with involvement, because we do have women that have that apply facts over feelings. You get what I'm saying? It just matters where you're at. [00:41:27] Speaker B: That's usually when they leaving. They have all the facts lined up. [00:41:30] Speaker D: No, you got facts over feelings. A lot of these women wouldn't get involved with a lot of the men they have. When they start using facts of a feeling. You get what I'm saying? [00:41:38] Speaker B: They don't. Yeah, they think they special. They know they're special. [00:41:42] Speaker D: But when you start using facts of a feelings, you realize that, no, this is going to be the same thing. You get what I'm saying? I'm not the prototype. [00:41:50] Speaker B: Yeah, but they always act surprise. [00:41:52] Speaker D: Yeah, but they do be like, shouldn't be surprised. [00:41:55] Speaker B: I didn't know you would do this. I did this to the last three girlfriends. Right. [00:41:58] Speaker D: I told you about it. [00:42:00] Speaker B: I told you I was a cheater. [00:42:02] Speaker D: That's the same thing with men. You all think logically, but then you expect women not to come in and, hey, this is how I feel, and bank on everything on their feelings. So you expect her to come in thinking like you think, and you know that women are not like that. [00:42:15] Speaker B: No, but I think you have to know that and be realistic. [00:42:18] Speaker D: And be realistic, because that's why I. [00:42:20] Speaker B: Always say women don't know what they want. But if a woman said that about men, I would not feel any different. [00:42:31] Speaker D: Yeah, I can say that. I think people really don't know what they want. [00:42:35] Speaker B: We talk about men and women, men and women people. Men and women. There's a lot of different people. [00:42:40] Speaker D: Oh, Lord. [00:42:42] Speaker B: I'm talking about the two. [00:42:44] Speaker D: The people who want to call themselves are generally. They really don't know what they want. They get it and then they get the person that they want. Right. They really don't get what exactly? What they know they want. They get the person that they want and then they try to. It's a lot of manipulation and. [00:43:02] Speaker C: Like a Rubik's cube. [00:43:03] Speaker D: Like a Rubik's cube. Yeah. [00:43:04] Speaker B: Well, that's what I mean. Well, need and wants are two different things. Kind of like facts and feelings. I know what you said you wanted, but usually what we think we want is not what we need at all. So that's what I mean when I say they kind of don't know what they want. They know what they think they want. You want this. [00:43:23] Speaker D: Try to force it. [00:43:24] Speaker B: You want this romantic serenading type dude writing poems and doing this and you're. [00:43:29] Speaker D: Not in the environment for it. [00:43:30] Speaker B: Yeah. All in his navel. [00:43:32] Speaker C: He got incense from the shade butter community. [00:43:36] Speaker B: I can't put this on the shade butter community because of my next statement. Okay, but you want him to be in touch. But he don't work. But he's very in touch. He's very in touch. He all grounded, but he don't work. I don't like working conventional. [00:43:57] Speaker D: And then you have women that will go for that. But, yeah, I feel sorry for y'all girls. I can't have it. [00:44:02] Speaker B: Okay, well, I mean, but they getting what they want. [00:44:04] Speaker D: They getting what they want. [00:44:05] Speaker B: That's not necessarily. [00:44:06] Speaker D: That's not what they need. [00:44:07] Speaker B: Maybe they just need it for the shade butter. [00:44:09] Speaker D: Because now when your bills are due and they all get together, you like, but you ain't got no job. But you knew this when you got him. [00:44:15] Speaker B: But you feel good, though. You paying for the yoga and it's what you wanted. [00:44:18] Speaker D: And now he got oil in his belly button. [00:44:20] Speaker B: Yeah. And that's wild with the oil you bought. Yeah. [00:44:24] Speaker C: It's your baby oil he putting in his belly button. [00:44:27] Speaker B: No, it's deeper than that. Not baby oil. They got special oil. Dropping some tea tree, some tea tree eucalyptus. Okay. It's bigger than me, man. You need to check this out, man. [00:44:44] Speaker C: Bigger than Nino Brown. [00:44:45] Speaker B: Yeah. People out here, you got friends who all. They. Who you do. I got friends that I don't. You don't want brought it up because. [00:44:57] Speaker D: Holding their belly buttons. [00:44:59] Speaker B: I. I don't know his friends, so I assume some of them do. I don't know some people he talk about. [00:45:06] Speaker C: I do not. [00:45:07] Speaker B: Okay. [00:45:08] Speaker C: I do not. [00:45:09] Speaker D: Okay. [00:45:09] Speaker B: Because money is a factor. [00:45:14] Speaker D: Money is a factor. [00:45:16] Speaker B: But sometimes you have to manage the expectations of the person who want the. [00:45:21] Speaker D: Money and then realize who you're getting beforehand. [00:45:26] Speaker B: Because I think, oh, we don't never know that. [00:45:28] Speaker C: We never know. [00:45:29] Speaker D: But we can try to choose better people. That's the thing. Choose better people. [00:45:34] Speaker C: Choosing better people comes from conversation. Have conversation to find out who this person is before you decide to go. [00:45:40] Speaker B: Do you ever really know who a person is? [00:45:42] Speaker D: You'll never generally know everything about a person that you're with, even if you've been married forever. [00:45:47] Speaker C: If you're observant, I think you could pick up on things like what if you're observant, like I said, the management of money. [00:45:53] Speaker B: Right. [00:45:54] Speaker C: And how a person relates about money. If the woman that you're with is consistently, from the early outset, discusses how, let's say, her ex was giving her money and how much she enjoyed the fact that he gave her money and how much she would spend her own money on her and use his money, because those count. I've had a conversation with a person like that. Women tell you stuff like that and like it's nothing. And for me, I know that's not the type of woman, for me, they don't respect. You could not. [00:46:25] Speaker D: Because why would you tell that? [00:46:27] Speaker C: Well, I think some people feel like it's normal, so they just, in the getting to know you phase, speak of these different things like it's normal. [00:46:36] Speaker B: I would think they're lying to me. [00:46:37] Speaker D: Yeah. And then, ladies, you don't ever go in, and men too, you don't go in telling what the last person did for you or what they didn't do or what they did not do, you shouldn't do that. I don't think that's a good idea at all. [00:46:47] Speaker B: Yusef, agree? You agree? [00:46:50] Speaker D: I don't think that's a good idea. I feel like something we live by. That's not something. I think that's something you learn. [00:47:00] Speaker C: Yeah. You can make the mistake at times of discussing your former relationships too in depth. And then it's almost like painting a picture for the new person of things that have happened and how they think. [00:47:16] Speaker D: That you will be with them and. [00:47:17] Speaker C: How they think that you will be with them, when in essence, it's a totally different situation. So I've been guilty of doing that, and I have, and I've had to learn to not. [00:47:28] Speaker B: So is that not being transparent? [00:47:30] Speaker C: No, I think you can. [00:47:31] Speaker D: You can be transparent, but, you know, we don't want to know everything. [00:47:33] Speaker C: You can be transparent without oversharing. [00:47:35] Speaker B: Don't tell me. Would you tell a man that he's oversharing? [00:47:39] Speaker D: Yeah, I would. [00:47:40] Speaker B: You try to warn him? [00:47:41] Speaker D: Yeah, I would say it. That's too much. If I felt that it was too much. [00:47:45] Speaker B: But you're saying I felt like it's too much. That's not telling me. I'm over sharing. [00:47:48] Speaker D: You can tell me somebody's oversharing. Some things are just not appropriate to share so soon. You know what I mean? [00:47:56] Speaker B: Okay. [00:47:56] Speaker D: There are certain conversations that you don't want to have early in the beginning, and I feel like it just be like, thank you, but no, thank you. You know what I mean? I think we all tend to overshare, especially when we're getting to know somebody and we're interested and you like them. Of course you're going to overshare at times. That's almost human nature in a sense. [00:48:16] Speaker C: Especially if you're comfortable with the person, with that person. Like, conversation is good and flowing and you can find yourself, you could kind of find yourself having a conversation about things that have happened in past relationships. Even if you know, you shouldn't have gone that in depth with it. But you feel that comfortable with the person. [00:48:34] Speaker B: Well, shouldn't the person know you first know more about you before you get into what happened? [00:48:39] Speaker D: Before you get into what happened? And that's what we tend not to do. It's a fine line. I think it's also due with a lot of anxious attachment styles that we have today because I want to get to know you. So I'm going to just open the flood. I'm open the floodgates of all the information I have about myself. [00:48:58] Speaker B: So what you're saying is men should lie. [00:49:00] Speaker D: Men shouldn't lie. Nor should women lie. Nobody should be lying. [00:49:05] Speaker C: Nobody should be lying. [00:49:06] Speaker D: Nobody should be lying. Okay, but there is a point you have to put a stop on. Not yet. Yet. [00:49:10] Speaker B: Not yet. [00:49:11] Speaker D: Not yet. Not yet. [00:49:13] Speaker B: Okay, that's fair. But I think we kind of let people sink themselves really fast. Yeah. So why is that again? [00:49:27] Speaker D: I think it's more of an anxious attachment, like, especially with social media. I think everybody feels so the need to be connected all the time. And I feel that connection comes through oversharing as well. [00:49:42] Speaker B: So you're saying that's what Youssef style is, oversharing? I'm asking. I'm asking for a friend. [00:49:49] Speaker C: I'm the friend. [00:49:50] Speaker B: But you're here. [00:49:51] Speaker C: Yes. So then you don't have to ask for. [00:49:53] Speaker B: If Nick was here, I would say Nick and Youssef, but you're here. [00:49:56] Speaker C: No, you would not. Because you always go to me. [00:49:58] Speaker B: I'm asking, you always say, I'm concerned. [00:50:00] Speaker C: So, Youssef, I'm concerned about you. And I'm concerned about you, too, but. [00:50:05] Speaker B: I do not do that. Well, there's a reason why you don't have to do that. Because I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do it. [00:50:14] Speaker C: No, but I wouldn't do it either. [00:50:16] Speaker D: Okay. [00:50:17] Speaker C: Well, no, we do. [00:50:18] Speaker D: It's just as a people, we have a tendency to. [00:50:19] Speaker B: Because I've been secretish, I haven't told. [00:50:23] Speaker D: I don't open up enough. [00:50:25] Speaker B: Okay. [00:50:27] Speaker D: I guess I don't put everything out in my feelings and all that because I feel like it's not appropriate at that time yet. Yeah, it's just not appropriate at that time yet. [00:50:37] Speaker C: I don't get that. [00:50:39] Speaker D: Just to put all my feelings out there and just boom. [00:50:43] Speaker B: But feelings aren't supposed to be put out there. I don't know why. [00:50:46] Speaker D: Yeah. So early on. No, later. Even. [00:50:50] Speaker C: Later even. [00:50:51] Speaker B: No, I don't even know all your feelings. [00:50:52] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:50:53] Speaker B: Because I don't think women could handle a man telling everything he felt. [00:50:57] Speaker D: Yeah. And even though men seem it comes off as if you can handle it, you all just don't too much like it. [00:51:04] Speaker B: That could be some truth. [00:51:06] Speaker D: Right? So I don't think it's very wise for anybody to just come in, just dumping all their feelings, you know what I mean? Just being a complete open book so soon. It's just too much. It can be too much at one time. [00:51:20] Speaker B: Okay, so when women come off with the 50 50, what do you bring to the table? A man has to have these things. [00:51:30] Speaker D: A woman should say, do I have these things? She should say, do I have these things first? [00:51:35] Speaker B: She might, but she's not required to have all those things to be in a relationship. [00:51:42] Speaker D: Yeah, that's true. [00:51:46] Speaker B: A woman can come as they are and be fine, right? [00:51:50] Speaker C: No, I think a woman could. [00:51:52] Speaker B: More so than we can just show up. Man just can't show up unless you're. [00:51:56] Speaker C: More so than a man. [00:51:57] Speaker B: That five percentile of just he's God gift to women and they just accept you. There are people in that class, women will instantly. I got a cousin who lives off women. Yeah. [00:52:13] Speaker D: Oh, man. [00:52:15] Speaker B: Five baby moms. He always has a woman he's living off of. He works sparingly. [00:52:22] Speaker D: Oh, wow. Yeah. Glad I'm not that woman. Yes. [00:52:25] Speaker B: But he is rather handsome from what I understand, out here in the streets. But he finds them. I mean, talking about good job people too. And I ain't talking about nobody who just working in a regular job. [00:52:38] Speaker D: And I think that's well educated. That's when women start turning to, I'll take you as you are when they. [00:52:42] Speaker B: Get to, well, why isn't that acceptable? [00:52:44] Speaker D: Yeah, I'm just saying that's when most women get to that point when you make a certain amount, it's like, I. [00:52:49] Speaker B: Would like to be taken care of. [00:52:50] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:52:52] Speaker B: I have no problem with that. [00:52:53] Speaker C: House husband. [00:52:54] Speaker D: Yeah. Long cook for me. Sure. Doesn't matter all day what you have going on. Long as you're for me. She's entered another tax bracket. [00:53:02] Speaker B: Okay, so then that 50 50 doesn't apply. [00:53:05] Speaker D: It doesn't. [00:53:07] Speaker B: And 50 50 is not always financial. [00:53:09] Speaker D: It's not always financial. And it's not always going to work. It's not always going to work. [00:53:15] Speaker B: How do you think people shoot themselves in the foot trying to date? [00:53:19] Speaker D: I do. I think there is, like, times where. [00:53:24] Speaker C: It'S not appropriate to be dating sometimes. [00:53:27] Speaker B: Yeah, it's not appropriate to be dating. [00:53:28] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:53:29] Speaker C: I think where you are personally in. [00:53:30] Speaker D: Your life, your personal life is not appropriate to date. [00:53:33] Speaker B: So what does that look like? No commitment. [00:53:36] Speaker C: No, don't go out. [00:53:39] Speaker D: There's certain times in life you don't need to be bothering any damn body. Leave them people alone. [00:53:43] Speaker B: Leave them alone. [00:53:44] Speaker D: Leave them alone. Let them be. Seriously, if you're just going to walk around damaging people, you don't need to be dating anybody. [00:53:50] Speaker C: Yeah, well, because you haven't dealt with yourself. [00:53:52] Speaker D: You haven't dealt with yourself. And if you can't master being alone and if you believe in any higher power, you know that solitude is the best way to go. And figuring things out. Figuring yourself out. That's how you deal with yourself. And that's why people don't like being alone. That's why they rush into things so fast. Because I have to deal with all my issues. I have to deal with me now. [00:54:12] Speaker C: I have to sit with myself. [00:54:12] Speaker D: I have to sit with myself. And this is why this didn't work. [00:54:15] Speaker B: Not working with somebody else. They're on the phone with somebody. [00:54:17] Speaker D: They're on the phone with somebody else and can make just like that. They're on to next person. Because that person makes me feel good. Because sitting by myself doesn't feel good. Because now I get to see all my flaws. This is where I failed at. Yes, I'm possessive. No, I don't make enough money. Yes, I'm controlling. I can be domineering. I did overshare. I wasn't a good partner. This is where I'm falling short in my life. You have to sit and think about those things. When you're alone, somebody else comes around and all that dopamine and serotonin is flowing through your blood. You feel great. [00:54:49] Speaker B: Okay. Just because it's new. [00:54:51] Speaker D: Just because it's new. [00:54:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:54:52] Speaker C: Because it's. [00:54:54] Speaker B: Yours. [00:54:55] Speaker D: Yep. [00:54:56] Speaker B: Okay, brother Yusef, we discussed. Got to the bottom. Yeah. [00:55:00] Speaker C: And you know, we'll have a new episode for you. [00:55:02] Speaker B: Yes. Next. Yes. Yes, we will. [00:55:05] Speaker C: Edriff, thanks for sitting in, as usual. [00:55:07] Speaker D: Thanks for having me. [00:55:08] Speaker C: Dropping bombs and jewels. I don't know why you made that face, but okay. Perspective. How can the people find you? [00:55:18] Speaker D: You can find me on Facebook at Eddie Griffin. Don't look for me anywhere else. I'm on Twitter watching nasty. [00:55:32] Speaker B: Solitude. [00:55:33] Speaker D: In solitude, by myself. In the dark. [00:55:36] Speaker B: In the dark. [00:55:37] Speaker D: My moomoo and my rose. [00:55:38] Speaker B: Okay. No, I want to retract my last, okay. Because I was not expecting you. I know what a moomoo is, so I do retract my last. Okay, I do not agree. No, I do not. Nothing. [00:55:55] Speaker D: Cl. This is a disclaimer that cl. [00:55:57] Speaker B: Yeah, I don't agree with any of the rose, any of that. [00:56:00] Speaker D: I, however, agree. [00:56:03] Speaker C: How can the people find you so we can get you out? [00:56:05] Speaker B: I'm not following that up. That ain't none of my business. [00:56:09] Speaker C: You can find this rel s t a t podcast on all social media platforms. Remember to join the conversation in the relationship status advice group, on the relationship status messenger board, and at the relationship status page on Facebook. Until the next time, y'all, we're out.

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