274th Date: My Girlfriend Talks to Her Male Best Friend EVERY DAY... Should I Be Worried?

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Because like, there's gonna be a question, like, did he mean to send that? Like, that's like, bro, it's hard. [00:00:07] Speaker B: Dudes do think like that. Like, guys think like that. [00:00:09] Speaker A: Like, yeah, it's gonna be hard to explain. Like, bro, did you. Were you trying to see something? Like what you trying to see how far I go? [00:00:16] Speaker C: Like, nah, hey, but that, hey, that, that. That's a hell of a way to do it, man. Your first time, you. You just. [00:00:21] Speaker A: Man, that's some gusto stuff, man. But some people gusto. [00:00:24] Speaker C: But nah, hey, that is. [00:00:26] Speaker A: Cause you easily tell the mother in law, like, I ain't meant to do that. Like, and it's water under the bridge [00:00:30] Speaker C: who you meant to send it to then. [00:00:33] Speaker B: Ooh, [00:00:35] Speaker C: never mind. Either or. [00:00:37] Speaker A: Next question. Next question. [00:00:40] Speaker B: That was a tough one. Welcome back to Relationship Status. It's your boy Yousef in the building. And remember that we are brought to you by eat my biscuits, 2881 East Point, Atlanta. Go ahead and check them out. Tell V that we sent you Relationship Status. Also brought to you by Crux Media Group. If you want your podcast done right, everything from editing to recording to a. Whatever it is you need, we got you covered. And lastly, check out. It's the fourth of July. It's right around the corner. Solid choice. Fireworks. Go ahead and check them out. If you're gonna buy fireworks, buy black. Oh, buy Black owned business. 321 Killian Road in Columbia, South Carolina at the Walmart or 2281 Andover Drive in Darlington, South Carolina, at the Walmart as well. Whether you're playing a black backyard celebration or fireworks show. Sound choices. Fireworks has everything you need to light up the night. Go ahead and check them out. They'll be open from June 23rd to July 5th. Make sure you check them out. Tell them that Relationship Status sent you. I ain't gonna promise you to get a discount, but you know, check them out. Next though, make sure that you like comment share.5 star rate. Cause if you do not guess what you are a hater. Make sure don't be a hater. 5 star rate. Share and review now. Got some people in the building today. One person is a returner. Last time we did. Q doesn't know this, but I did explain this to Chanel. We did do an episode with King Me before, but it got corrupted when my laptop kind of fell. The hard drive fell out. So it caused it to corrupt. So that episode no longer exists, but. So we got to run it back. But welcome to the show. The King Me POD group with a guest, tj, who is kind of King me in and out. [00:02:27] Speaker A: Yeah, he was. Yeah. [00:02:29] Speaker C: That's the famous adjacent adjacent. [00:02:31] Speaker B: He. He's the role player. [00:02:33] Speaker C: I'm the six man. Yeah. I'm the six man. [00:02:35] Speaker B: Six man of the year. [00:02:36] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:02:37] Speaker B: To the King Me pod, Q, Chanel and tj. Chanel, welcome back. I ain't gonna start with you. I ain't gonna start out the gate with you. You know, I ain't gonna start with you this early. This early. I ain't gonna cause no problems. This early. [00:02:48] Speaker A: She ready. [00:02:48] Speaker B: She was. [00:02:49] Speaker C: Y' all about to say, okay, I [00:02:51] Speaker A: don't wanna cause no problem. [00:02:51] Speaker C: I'm glad you said it, Yousef, this [00:02:53] Speaker B: early, because we had problems. Last time she got to talking about me, I ain't know before we even started recording, she was talking about. I gotta ask you a question, Q. [00:03:03] Speaker A: Yes, sir. [00:03:04] Speaker B: You saw the episode Chanel was on? [00:03:06] Speaker A: Yeah, I saw it. [00:03:06] Speaker B: What is your response to what she said about the King Me podcast? [00:03:11] Speaker A: I ride with her. I like it. But that whole the queen part, and they just, you know, that she kind of run y'. All. Yeah, Yeah. I was watching. [00:03:18] Speaker D: I'm like, I didn't say I run them. [00:03:19] Speaker A: That's the way it came across. That's the way it came across. [00:03:22] Speaker D: You said, how do I handle working with them? I said, I say what I say I do. I tell them what to do, and they do it. They do. [00:03:31] Speaker C: So basically, somebody said, okay, I'm adjacent. [00:03:36] Speaker A: That's women logic here. [00:03:37] Speaker D: My interpretation is I tell them, they agree with it, and they do it. Don't you, y'? All? [00:03:42] Speaker A: Yes, ma'. [00:03:43] Speaker B: Am. [00:03:45] Speaker A: Yes, ma'. [00:03:46] Speaker C: Am. Hey, that's the best way to keep it moving. [00:03:48] Speaker A: Yes, ma'. Am. Yes, ma'. [00:03:49] Speaker D: Am. [00:03:50] Speaker C: Yes, ma'. [00:03:50] Speaker A: Am. You got it. [00:03:52] Speaker B: Well, cute. We didn't have an opportunity to meet you last time. So how'd you get into podcasting on with K? Me [00:04:00] Speaker A: and B met through a mutual friend, and I kind of always wanted to do podcasting but never wanted to do it by myself. So I was looking for, like, kind of like somebody else or a group of people, because my opinion is just my opinion. So I kind of like wanting to hear from other people and see their thought process and kind of just came on for one episode and then just started being a reoccurring guest, and now I'm here. [00:04:20] Speaker B: Now you here. You run this thing. [00:04:22] Speaker A: You said, what? [00:04:23] Speaker B: Now you run this thing? [00:04:24] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:04:25] Speaker A: No, hold up. You say, am I running it? [00:04:27] Speaker B: You run this thing. [00:04:27] Speaker A: You run this show. No, no, no, I don't run it. I don't run it. [00:04:30] Speaker B: You don't run it? [00:04:31] Speaker A: No, I don't run it. I don't run it. [00:04:32] Speaker B: Okay, all right. I know you smiling more than before. [00:04:40] Speaker C: Questions. [00:04:40] Speaker B: He about to get the serious face. Tj. [00:04:43] Speaker C: What it do? What it do? [00:04:45] Speaker B: How did you get to being around and as far as the show is concerned and you have your own. [00:04:50] Speaker C: Yeah, I do. [00:04:51] Speaker B: Podcast as well. [00:04:52] Speaker C: Yeah, I do. [00:04:53] Speaker B: Go ahead and shout it out. [00:04:54] Speaker C: Hill to Feel. That's the name of the podcast. I appreciate these guys for, you know, bringing me in. [00:05:01] Speaker D: My girl. Female. Okay, I'll just point that out. [00:05:06] Speaker A: Continue on. [00:05:07] Speaker C: I don't think I got. I don't think I interrupted. I don't think I did. Nah, your interpretation might be different. Okay, then. Okay, then. But yeah, I do. It's called heal to feel, man, and it's more aligned with, you know, men's mental health and things like that. But on the other side of this, man, I like having a good time. I like doing. Talking about other things outside of that. So, hey, man, it's good to be here and to talk about something different, man. So thank you. Thank you, Yousef. Thank you, Chanel. Well, excuse me. This is your podcast, so you got to go first. Thank you. [00:05:43] Speaker B: I appreciate you. Thank you. Chanel just got. [00:05:46] Speaker C: You ain't got to break your neck for a compliment. [00:05:49] Speaker B: She just over there. [00:05:50] Speaker C: We thank you, ma. Yes, ma'. [00:05:52] Speaker D: Am. [00:05:52] Speaker C: Thank you, ma. [00:05:53] Speaker A: Thank you, ma'. [00:05:53] Speaker B: Am. [00:05:54] Speaker D: You're welcome. [00:05:55] Speaker C: I ain't going to show my. [00:05:56] Speaker B: Ain't gonna show on the dick. [00:05:58] Speaker C: I was about to get on the knee and cry. Let her crown me. You know what I'm saying? [00:06:02] Speaker D: I wear my crown all the time. [00:06:03] Speaker C: But, hey, these are my guys. I met Q through B. Met B. We used to work at GE together, man. So ever since then, man, I used to actually was his after school. His daughter's after school. Care counselor or team leader, whatever you want to say. So ever since then, man, we've been locked in for sure. [00:06:19] Speaker B: Okay, well, I appreciate you guys. I kind of impromptly. [00:06:25] Speaker A: Hey. [00:06:25] Speaker C: Hey. [00:06:26] Speaker B: Talked you into this. No, no, no. She. She. [00:06:29] Speaker C: No, but she tried. [00:06:30] Speaker A: She tried to talk about. Oh, you worked at ge. [00:06:31] Speaker C: She tried looking over people. Now, I told you to sit. No, no, I told you to sit beside me. You didn't want to sit beside me. [00:06:39] Speaker B: Now, Q, I gotta ask you a question. Okay, Chanel, don't say nothing. I ain't even talk. I ain't even talking to you right now. [00:06:47] Speaker D: That's all right, I'm gonna talk anyway. [00:06:49] Speaker B: So, Q, at what point are we gonna. Are you guys gonna move forward with the dating Chanel segment? [00:06:55] Speaker A: You know, when that was mentioned the first time, my wheels got rolling. My wheels got rolling. [00:07:01] Speaker D: Why? Why your wheels rolling? [00:07:03] Speaker A: Because I feel like that'd be great. And with your personality, I think that's great content. I think it'd be very funny. And you may find your favorite person. [00:07:14] Speaker B: For the love of Chanel. [00:07:15] Speaker A: For the love of Chanel. Woo. Because you have a TV ready personality already. [00:07:21] Speaker D: Already. [00:07:22] Speaker A: You don't need no coaching. You don't need you ready. [00:07:25] Speaker B: That's what I'm saying. [00:07:26] Speaker A: So, hey, you know, that's what we're moving toward. [00:07:30] Speaker B: Okay. [00:07:31] Speaker C: These are good men. These are good men, Savannah. You should let them. [00:07:36] Speaker D: You know what's funny? [00:07:38] Speaker C: Filter through some men. [00:07:39] Speaker D: It's a deacon at our church, and every time he get up to preach, I'd be like, that's a good man, Savannah. See, I use that line. I'm telling you, I know my friends watching this, they like, oh, somebody now use a line. [00:07:52] Speaker C: Let these man filter some man for you, Chanel. You know what I'm saying? [00:07:55] Speaker B: I'll say. Here's the idea. [00:07:57] Speaker A: Okay, go ahead. [00:07:58] Speaker B: The people. The people write into the people. Basically, y' all advertise it on. On the social media with a link to a Google document, to a Google form. The candidates fill out the Google form and they have to add a photo. Y' all come together through all of the submissions because it'll be a bunch of submissions. Y' all pick the top three. Y' all and Chanel kind of come together. Well, I would date. Yeah. This the kind of dude. Okay. He got a job. Okay, that's cool. You know, and then I like that. [00:08:24] Speaker D: Three people lying on there, and y' all gonna have me go, everybody, hold on, hold on. [00:08:28] Speaker B: But you ain't gonna do this by yourself now, so just relax. And then what you do is the show sponsors three dates. A date with each guy, and then you have each guy come on. Then you have each guy come on as a guest on the show and talk about the experience and the date. And then at the end of it, y' all choose which date was the best. [00:08:50] Speaker A: And I like this, because if you worried about your safety, this is what we do. [00:08:54] Speaker B: Yeah, no, let me get to that part. [00:08:56] Speaker A: Okay. Okay. Because I. I got the. [00:08:59] Speaker B: The cameras and everything will be on the date. The. The show will be. [00:09:03] Speaker D: They got my locations, and two of them in the military. They got guns and Shit, yeah, that's fine. [00:09:08] Speaker B: But the show is going to be there. The show is going to be there. [00:09:10] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:09:10] Speaker B: Because we want to make sure that we document the. Ain't gonna, you know, Ain't gonna be there to hold, you know, sitting there with a camera in your face. But we do want to make sure that we. That we do get some of this [00:09:20] Speaker A: good content we gonna put on the. We might have to put on the metal glasses and just. [00:09:25] Speaker B: You know what I'm saying? [00:09:26] Speaker A: So you'll be safe, you know, being [00:09:27] Speaker B: they might sit at the bar or something, you know what I'm saying? And. And just to make sure that, you know, I just think it's a good idea. I think you already on dating sites. [00:09:36] Speaker C: It's. [00:09:36] Speaker A: It ain't no worse. [00:09:37] Speaker D: Oh, my business. [00:09:38] Speaker B: You told your business. I didn't tell. [00:09:40] Speaker C: Which ones you on. [00:09:41] Speaker D: How did I know you was on every episode? [00:09:43] Speaker C: Which ones you want? [00:09:44] Speaker D: How did I know that you every episode. [00:09:45] Speaker B: Unless you said it. Unless you said it. [00:09:47] Speaker D: I'm trying to think the relationship status just Chanel status at this. [00:09:49] Speaker A: No, it's mine. [00:09:50] Speaker D: I'm just. [00:09:51] Speaker C: Which ones you on? [00:09:52] Speaker D: I'm not about to tell you now. Everybody gonna look me up. [00:09:55] Speaker B: Hey, hey. [00:09:56] Speaker C: I mean, sound like increased chances to me. [00:09:58] Speaker B: We didn't say. [00:09:59] Speaker D: And it's like, what? [00:10:00] Speaker C: Increased chances of finding your forever. I'm not. [00:10:02] Speaker A: Cause then. [00:10:03] Speaker B: No, you on plenty. I know you on plenty of fish. [00:10:05] Speaker D: No, I'm not. [00:10:06] Speaker C: Oh, that motherfucker. [00:10:07] Speaker B: Talk about the pol. [00:10:08] Speaker A: No, I'm not. [00:10:13] Speaker B: Let's get into it. Our first. Our first segment of every show is called the either or. You have to choose one or the other. You cannot say both. You gotta. You gotta choose one of the other. All right, so the first one already. The first one is. Would you rather your partner's X comments on every post or their best friend comments on every post? [00:10:41] Speaker A: So it'd be the opposite sex. [00:10:43] Speaker B: Yes. [00:10:44] Speaker D: Best friend. [00:10:44] Speaker C: The best friend or dude. [00:10:47] Speaker B: Yeah, best friend. It's both. [00:10:49] Speaker A: Yeah, I'd rather the X comment. [00:10:50] Speaker B: I'd rather you rather the X. Yeah. [00:10:53] Speaker D: Best friend. [00:10:54] Speaker A: Yeah, the ex. [00:10:54] Speaker B: Wow. Which one would you be stalking first? [00:10:57] Speaker C: That's what I'm about to say. [00:10:58] Speaker D: Either way, I'm gonna stalk them if they comment. [00:11:01] Speaker A: I'm stalking the X because I. Cause I expect you to talk to your friend. I'm stalking that ex. Cause I want to see if you comment on they stuff too. So. [00:11:09] Speaker D: Yeah, that's too much time invested. [00:11:11] Speaker A: I don't care. [00:11:11] Speaker D: I'm doing hack your page and block them. [00:11:15] Speaker C: Oh, that ain't a lot of work. [00:11:16] Speaker A: No, no, no. And see, I ain't want to block. Cause I want you to have free. Free reign. [00:11:20] Speaker B: Look at you. [00:11:21] Speaker D: If you want to see what gonna keep going. [00:11:22] Speaker C: Yeah, for real. [00:11:23] Speaker A: Do you want to block them? Do you want them blocked? [00:11:26] Speaker C: Yeah. Let me see. [00:11:27] Speaker A: I shouldn't even have to say nothing. Y' all think ed already? [00:11:30] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. Cause the best friend's still in the picture. At least the ex seemingly is out. Come on now, you know, he might be. They might be in another part of the United States of the world or something like that. But your best friend comment, I'm like, [00:11:42] Speaker D: I got access to the best. Let me stop. Cause I'mma be in jail telling y' all how I feel. And I ain't never going to get no date. [00:11:48] Speaker C: Well, they got them in jail. [00:11:53] Speaker D: Them type of people. [00:11:54] Speaker A: They got them the same sex. [00:11:57] Speaker B: Jail after lockup. [00:12:00] Speaker A: That's crazy. Love after lockup. [00:12:03] Speaker B: Love during lockup. [00:12:05] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:12:06] Speaker B: Next one, next one. Would you rather accidentally send a nude to your boss or accidentally send a nude to your mother in law? [00:12:17] Speaker D: Oh, I'm a female. I'd rather send it to my mother in law. [00:12:23] Speaker A: I'd rather send it to my. To my mother in law. I have a male boss, so that. Nah, nah. Because you can't live that down. You can't live neither one of them. Now, at least one is a female, bruh. It's gonna be hard to go back to work and look in that man's face. [00:12:40] Speaker D: Oh, so that's what my daughter. [00:12:45] Speaker A: That's better than trying to like, bro, come on. [00:12:47] Speaker D: Like, what if it ain't all that? And she be like, oh, baby, she gonna break up. [00:12:51] Speaker C: You going crazy over that. All that for that? [00:12:53] Speaker A: Yeah, that. That's tv, man. [00:12:56] Speaker B: What's your answer, tj, he go with his boss. [00:13:01] Speaker C: I gotta go with my mother in law. [00:13:04] Speaker A: My boss is a man, though. You know what I'm saying? Make that mistake and then look that man in his face. [00:13:09] Speaker C: And I gotta see you money through fire. At least I ain't seeing my mother in law every day of the week. [00:13:13] Speaker B: So which relationship do you think is harder to recover from? If you send, you can get a new job. If you send it to your boss, [00:13:19] Speaker D: you can definitely get fired to me. [00:13:21] Speaker A: Nah, but it's gonna be the boss. Cause like, there's gonna be a question, like, did he mean to send that? Like, that's like, bro, it's hard. [00:13:29] Speaker B: Dudes do think like that. Like, y' all think like that. [00:13:32] Speaker A: Like, yeah, it's gonna be hard to explain. Like, bro, did you. Were you trying to see something? Like, were you trying to see how far I go? Like, nah. [00:13:39] Speaker C: Hey, but that. Hey, that. [00:13:41] Speaker A: That. [00:13:41] Speaker C: That's a hell of a way to do it, man. Your first time, you. You just. [00:13:44] Speaker A: Man, that's gusto stuff, man. But some people gusto. [00:13:46] Speaker C: But nah, hey, now that's. [00:13:49] Speaker A: Cause you usually tell the mother in law, like, I ain't meant to do that. Like, and it's water under the who [00:13:53] Speaker C: you meant to send it to then. [00:13:55] Speaker B: Ooh, [00:13:58] Speaker C: never mind. Either or. [00:14:00] Speaker A: Next question. Next question. [00:14:02] Speaker B: That was a tough one. [00:14:03] Speaker A: That was crazy. [00:14:04] Speaker C: That's tough. [00:14:05] Speaker A: That was crazy. [00:14:06] Speaker B: That's tough. [00:14:07] Speaker D: I'm so glad to be a female today because I ain't gonna have no issues. She like, oh, okay, girl. [00:14:11] Speaker B: All right, which would you rather? Would you rather catch feelings for your best friend or find out your best friend has feelings for you? [00:14:24] Speaker C: I'd rather find out they got feelings for me because they might not feel the way I feel. [00:14:31] Speaker A: I'd rather. Yeah, I agree with that. I'd rather they. No, I don't know. I'm a lover boy. [00:14:37] Speaker D: I'm struggling. [00:14:38] Speaker C: Hey, but I mean. [00:14:39] Speaker A: Hold on. Repeat the question again. Repeat the question. [00:14:41] Speaker B: Would you rather catch feelings for your best friend or find out your best friend has feelings for you? [00:14:50] Speaker A: I'd rather find out the best friend got feelings for me because I don't want to be awkward. I don't want to be awkward. [00:14:54] Speaker D: I think I'd rather have the feelings and be able to suppress my own feelings than to find out they have feelings and then I feel awkward and don't know how to deal with the friendship. [00:15:04] Speaker B: So how long you think they would. How long. How long do you think they've been waiting to take their shot? [00:15:09] Speaker D: No, that's what I'm saying. I'd rather be the one with the feelings because I can handle me versus finding out they have feelings and now I don't know how to deal with them as a friend because I'm afraid they might take a shot. Or if I address it, then, now we can't be friends no more. I'd rather suppress my own feelings and move on with the friendship and just be cool. [00:15:26] Speaker C: You're doing yourself a disservice though, ain't it? I mean, not saying how you feel. [00:15:30] Speaker D: That's what I'm saying. I know how to suppress my own feelings and move past it versus not knowing how to deal with them and how they feel and potentially have to end the friendship. [00:15:40] Speaker A: Okay, well, I Want to know they feeling me for this reason right here. I got traumatic experiences from when I was in school. And I used to write them love letters. Do you like me? Yes or no? Boy, I got so many no's. And then my cousin came. Man, listen, bro, that joint used to be so embarrassing, bro. My girl cousin came to me because in middle school, bro, they had us in all boys and all girls classes, okay? So my girl cousin came to me one day. She said, queen, she said, can you please start writing these girls letters? They passing them around. They laughing at you. So let me know you feel me. Cause I ain't. I ain't want to be out there. Just put myself out there. And then I'm looking down. [00:16:13] Speaker B: I got a funny note story. [00:16:15] Speaker A: What's that? [00:16:16] Speaker B: This is when I realized that young people, they be getting it in. I was in the fourth grade. I was in the fourth grade, and I sent out one of those letters. It was this girl. Name was Dawn. God, I just remembered her name. Her name was Dawn. And she lived upstairs in my building. And I sent her a letter. Check the box. And it was like, my homeboy, Camille, he kind of talked me in and said, you want to kiss me, yes or no? And so she drew another box and said other and sent it back to me with a thing. Said, I'mma come by. I'mma come by your apartment today. [00:16:57] Speaker A: Oh, y' all was different. [00:16:59] Speaker D: So I was like, that's some New York stuff. [00:17:01] Speaker B: What is other? So I'm like. So I'm like. I'm like, what is other, Camille? And so now Camille's like, well, I don't know. I guess she talking about sex. And so I was like, okay. She actually came to my apartment, knocked on the door. I hid in the bathroom and locked the door. [00:17:21] Speaker A: I'm telling you. [00:17:22] Speaker C: Hey. [00:17:23] Speaker B: Like, I went in the bathroom and locked the door. And so, like, my homeboy, Camille, my homeboy Abdel, they all came. They knocking on the door. [00:17:31] Speaker D: Hey. [00:17:31] Speaker B: Hey, man. Hey. She here. She here. Dawn knocks on the door and says, yusuf, please come out. Please come out. [00:17:38] Speaker D: Oh, Lord. [00:17:39] Speaker A: Oh, shit. [00:17:40] Speaker B: Come out, come out. [00:17:41] Speaker A: I would love to know what she's doing with her life now. [00:17:43] Speaker B: I don't know. I can't remember her last name. [00:17:45] Speaker D: But we gotta find out. [00:17:46] Speaker B: She eventually left. She eventually left. Next day, she moved out the building and transferred out of school. [00:17:53] Speaker A: Yo, your assignment for this week, Find [00:17:55] Speaker B: out what she doing. [00:17:56] Speaker A: Her life, bro. [00:17:56] Speaker B: I remember that guy, man. [00:17:58] Speaker A: You gotta do some research. [00:17:59] Speaker B: I remember her name, bro. [00:18:00] Speaker A: Fourth grader, she was trying to go [00:18:02] Speaker C: out with a bang. Literally. [00:18:03] Speaker B: Listen when I tell you I wasn't ready. [00:18:05] Speaker C: Yeah, you trying to go out with a bang. [00:18:06] Speaker D: She trying to take off your virginity. [00:18:07] Speaker B: I wasn't ready. I was not ready. [00:18:12] Speaker A: That's gotta be a new. [00:18:14] Speaker C: That's very blunt, but that's what she was trying to do. Yeah, she was trying to. Yeah. [00:18:18] Speaker D: Like, look, I said it. [00:18:19] Speaker C: Don't you say somebody trying to take it with her. Trying to take it with her. [00:18:24] Speaker A: Fourth grade is crazy work. [00:18:25] Speaker B: She was aggressive that day. I was in that bathroom about. [00:18:29] Speaker A: And then knock on the door and say, please come out. [00:18:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:18:32] Speaker A: She wanted it back. [00:18:33] Speaker B: Please come out. [00:18:34] Speaker D: She said it all soft. [00:18:35] Speaker B: Please come. And the boy's like, when I came out, man, you stupid, man. [00:18:41] Speaker A: So was they your homeboys were doing stuff at that point in time? [00:18:44] Speaker B: I probably not [00:18:49] Speaker A: like that now. [00:18:50] Speaker B: Camille maybe. Camille, maybe. He was probably. Yeah, Camille maybe. [00:18:56] Speaker C: Man, you shooting our dog. [00:18:59] Speaker B: Next one. Would you rather date someone with no friends or date with. Date someone with too many best friends? [00:19:09] Speaker D: That's hard. [00:19:12] Speaker C: Hey, you might have too many best friends with me. I ain't even gonna hold you because imagine that you ain't got no friends. I'm gonna have to be the one. [00:19:18] Speaker A: Date somebody with. Date somebody with. I'd rather date somebody with too many best friends because eventually they'll start getting cut off. But if you ain't got no friends, that means you're gonna be 100, relying on my attention 24. 7. [00:19:30] Speaker C: Yeah, I can't do that, Chanel. [00:19:32] Speaker D: I'm gonna be single on that one. [00:19:33] Speaker B: Nah, you cannot. [00:19:34] Speaker A: I told you, you gotta pick one. [00:19:36] Speaker B: You gotta pick one. [00:19:37] Speaker D: I guess I have to take the too many friends. Cause. [00:19:39] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, that. [00:19:40] Speaker C: That. [00:19:40] Speaker A: Me being the object of all your attention is a little crazy. [00:19:43] Speaker B: Okay, so which. Which one. Follow up. Which one is a bigger red flag? Somebody with no friends or somebody with too many friends? [00:19:49] Speaker A: Somebody with too many friends is a. Is a bigger. Is a bigger thing for me. [00:19:53] Speaker C: I don't know. [00:19:54] Speaker D: Yeah. No friends. [00:19:54] Speaker C: You ain't got no friends. [00:19:55] Speaker B: You ain't got no friends. [00:19:56] Speaker C: You ain't got no friends. Nah. [00:19:58] Speaker A: But if you got too many, like, sometimes you could have no friends, because. No. When we say friends, are we saying friends or we send associates? No friends. [00:20:06] Speaker B: I'm talking about friends. Somebody who's. [00:20:08] Speaker A: If you got too many friends, I feel like you're being fake somewhere along the line. You're not being true to yourself, because how do. How's everybody your friend? It's like them people that you work with and Every time they see somebody, hey, best friend. Hey, like. [00:20:20] Speaker C: But how you ain't got no friends, though, that. [00:20:22] Speaker A: Either way, it's tough. But I. That's just something. [00:20:24] Speaker B: How you ain't got no friends. [00:20:25] Speaker C: Yeah, like, you went your whole life and you ain't got no friends. [00:20:29] Speaker A: That's something. But that's a tough question. [00:20:30] Speaker C: It's a character flaw. I see that as a character flaw. You ain't got no friends, but wouldn't [00:20:34] Speaker A: having too many friends be a character flaw? Because you're not. [00:20:37] Speaker C: You might have bad decision making skills. You know what I'm saying? [00:20:39] Speaker A: Okay, okay, okay, I can roll. [00:20:41] Speaker C: But to have no, like, friends at [00:20:42] Speaker A: all, Both of them are real. [00:20:44] Speaker C: I'm gonna be in the same boat maybe eventually. I might be the one they. I might be over here with people who ain't got no friends, but you ain't got no friends. So I don't know that. Just me. [00:20:52] Speaker D: What's the station at both of them red flags. [00:20:58] Speaker C: Different sides of the same coin, huh? [00:20:59] Speaker B: See, Chanel, Chanel gives off woman vibes. I know she's a woman because I'm. [00:21:04] Speaker A: She like to play middle ground. [00:21:05] Speaker D: But if you ain't got no friends, how we became friends. [00:21:09] Speaker B: No, we ain't friends. We dating. We ain't friends. Listen, see, that's another misconception. [00:21:14] Speaker A: If a man came up to you today and he said, and he got [00:21:18] Speaker D: more than two homeboys, I ain't gonna talk to him. [00:21:20] Speaker A: And if he came up to you today and said, I ain't got nobody, I ain't got no homeboys. [00:21:24] Speaker D: He gonna sound too needy, and I ain't gonna talk to him. [00:21:27] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:21:28] Speaker C: So what's too many friends, then? [00:21:29] Speaker B: Chanel, she said outside of two. [00:21:31] Speaker C: Outside of two. [00:21:32] Speaker D: I mean, this is the reason why it sounds so difficult is because people classify friends differently. [00:21:38] Speaker A: That's why I said friends are associates. [00:21:40] Speaker D: As friends. Just because you hang out with them don't mean they your friends. That's just who you hang out with. [00:21:46] Speaker B: Okay, I get. Hey, man. [00:21:48] Speaker D: So when you use the word friend, what I classify as friends? If you got too many friends, that's a red flag to me. If you ain't got nobody who you can call on who you can. You know what I'm saying? That's a red flag to me. Okay, so it's hard for me to choose, but which one is a bigger red flag for me would be too many friends. [00:22:04] Speaker B: Too many friends. All right. That's the only question I was asking. But you took us all around the World. [00:22:08] Speaker D: Well, you had to understand the reason for my answer. [00:22:11] Speaker B: Took us all around the world. [00:22:12] Speaker D: You need understanding. [00:22:13] Speaker B: All right, two more. Would you rather find out your partner cheated once. [00:22:18] Speaker D: God, Jesus. [00:22:19] Speaker B: Or find out they've been secretly checking your phone for years? [00:22:26] Speaker D: Say that one more time. [00:22:27] Speaker C: Ain't nobody want to say nothing, right? [00:22:30] Speaker B: Would you rather find out your partner cheated once you can cheat or secretly [00:22:36] Speaker A: check my phone or. [00:22:37] Speaker B: Or find out they've been secretly checking your phone? [00:22:40] Speaker A: Secretly checking my phone. [00:22:41] Speaker D: No, you can cheat one time. [00:22:43] Speaker C: I think you can checking my phone. [00:22:45] Speaker A: Yeah, you can check my phone. That. [00:22:46] Speaker C: Yeah, but that's either way you getting up out of here. Yeah, yeah. [00:22:50] Speaker B: Either way. [00:22:51] Speaker A: Either way, you gonna hit the door. But it's just something about, like, just knowing that another nigga was in you and you was like, it just. [00:22:59] Speaker D: See this what separates men and women. [00:23:01] Speaker A: That's real tough to know that a nigga will beating your back. And like. And more than likely, y'. [00:23:06] Speaker D: All. Y' all visual thinkers probably doing something. [00:23:09] Speaker A: And then this the crazy part, more than likely, if you did that, it was something about that N. Especially if you did it more than once. [00:23:15] Speaker C: That's what I'm saying. [00:23:16] Speaker B: It says once. It says once. [00:23:18] Speaker A: You could. [00:23:20] Speaker B: It says what? The question is once you could check [00:23:23] Speaker A: the phone secretly, but just getting beat. [00:23:25] Speaker D: But you said for a long time. [00:23:27] Speaker A: But still, though, you getting beat by another man is. [00:23:30] Speaker D: They could have. [00:23:31] Speaker C: I mean, but look, what if you ain't finding you going all them years, [00:23:34] Speaker A: you ain't gonna follow you, right? [00:23:36] Speaker C: You ain't found nothing. But I know you getting getting that made on you. [00:23:40] Speaker D: See, now you gonna find something in my phone, but it ain't necessarily like what you're thinking. [00:23:43] Speaker C: See, there it is right there. [00:23:45] Speaker D: No, no, no, no. Hear me out. For instance, like, my son is like my best friend. And everything that I may want to talk to my son about or vent to my son about is not privileged information for everybody. And I feel like that's just an invasion of privacy when you going through my phone, seeing things that I didn't want to divulge to you. That's not fair. Yeah. [00:24:06] Speaker A: Either way, you out the door. [00:24:07] Speaker D: I'm entitled to my personal space. So for you to invade my personal space is just as bad as cheating. [00:24:14] Speaker B: True. [00:24:15] Speaker C: Your private is personal, too, huh? [00:24:17] Speaker A: Your private is personal too. [00:24:19] Speaker D: But over time, he said, I gotta pick one. I just said, either one is bad. But if I got to pick one, I pick one. [00:24:27] Speaker B: I respect it. [00:24:27] Speaker A: I respect. [00:24:28] Speaker B: Last one. Last one. Would you rather your partner goes on vacation with her best friend or. And of course these are opposite sex questions. Your partner goes on vacation with their best friend or moves in with them for a month, man. [00:24:45] Speaker A: Boy, let me see. Nah, I'd rather you move in for a month. [00:24:50] Speaker C: You Hell, boo. [00:24:51] Speaker A: I'd rather. I'd rather you move in, man. Either way, she gonna get beat down. But I know. I know if you going on vacation, I know for a fact y' all only out for a couple times. So y' all gonna make that time count. Y' all gonna be humping like rabbits in there for them two or three days y' all on vacation. [00:25:08] Speaker D: But he gonna every night. Oh, damn. [00:25:13] Speaker A: Either way, she getting be. Listen, either way, she getting beat, bro. The fact that you got to make me get reckless. [00:25:20] Speaker D: I'm about to go all the way, man. [00:25:22] Speaker A: The fact that I know for. Think about it. When you go on vacation, it's about to be the ambiance. Like you about to go ham. Listen, either way, you going ham. Either way, she getting beat on, man. It don't matter, bro which one y' all get beat on. [00:25:37] Speaker C: I'm saying. [00:25:38] Speaker A: I'm saying move in. Move in with. [00:25:40] Speaker D: Do not know the hormonal changes we go through in a month. You gonna leave it there for a whole month? [00:25:44] Speaker A: Might as well. Either way, she gone. [00:25:46] Speaker B: No, no. The whole thing of this is you're not breaking up with them. [00:25:53] Speaker A: I'm not breaking up with her, and she's coming back home. [00:25:56] Speaker B: No, it's not a hoax. Like, y'. [00:25:57] Speaker C: All. [00:25:58] Speaker B: Y' all are in a relationship. Y' all not moved in together. [00:26:00] Speaker C: That's tough, boy. [00:26:01] Speaker D: You might as well go on buckle. I'mma just keep him satisfied through the weekend. [00:26:07] Speaker C: Hey, [00:26:10] Speaker B: go somewhere vacation all month. [00:26:13] Speaker A: Not yet. You know what? I'm changing my answer. [00:26:14] Speaker C: I'm going to do a vacation, man. [00:26:16] Speaker B: You going to do the vacation? [00:26:17] Speaker A: I'm changing my answer to the vacation. Because 30 days they had to go to work and try to live your life for 30 days, knowing she's at that man house and ain't no telling what's going on. [00:26:28] Speaker D: I ain't lying. [00:26:28] Speaker A: Especially if you call the phone and she can't pick up. Like, is she getting her head rammed through the wall right now? [00:26:35] Speaker C: Like, that's tough use of you. Hell for that one. [00:26:41] Speaker B: The last one is always the best one. [00:26:43] Speaker A: Yeah, that's crazy. I'm going vacation, man. [00:26:46] Speaker B: All right, vacation. Everybody going across the weekend hunt versus [00:26:50] Speaker C: a 30 day hunt. [00:26:51] Speaker A: Yeah, man. Cause you gotta think, though, bro. You got to live your regular life for 30 days. Like, okay, if y' all used to being on the phone at a certain time, let's say you call on your lunch break, in this time or these few days, you calling on the lunch break, and she ain't picking up. So now in your mind, she can't pick up. [00:27:06] Speaker B: She can't pick up. [00:27:12] Speaker A: Like, why she can't pick up? Nah, it's gonna. Cause I ain't gonna be able to sleep, right, man. Nah, I just know I can miss some sleep on the weekend. I can't miss sleep for 30 days, boy, you talking about vacation. [00:27:22] Speaker C: Look, this other time, if I'm on vacation, I can't go over to the house and check. Like, if she on vacation with the best friend, like, bro, either way, it's especially like they out the country or something or whatever the case is. Like, what you gonna do? Go in your. Get in your car? You gonna catch a plane ticket? [00:27:38] Speaker A: Like, I'm still going for the vacation, bro. I just can't do 30 days of prison. [00:27:41] Speaker C: I'm just saying, that's just the other side. [00:27:43] Speaker A: 30 days of mental prison is crazy. [00:27:44] Speaker C: 30 days, you know, and that jump right under your nose. [00:27:47] Speaker D: Well, y' all take yourself through it. [00:27:50] Speaker C: That's the overthinking boy. [00:27:51] Speaker B: Hey, listen, thank y' all for playing. But as you can see, all of the questions had a particular theme, and we've heard it all before. That's just my friend. Just. Just my friend. But when that friend is someone of the opposite sex, things can get complicated. Is it. Is it insecurity to feel uncomfortable, or is it common sense? So we're going to be talking about that today. We're going to be talking about, you know, is it possible? Can men and women really, truly be friends? So basically, like, so, Q, when you hear he or she's just a friend, what's your first reaction? When you hear, no, that's he's just a friend, what's your first reaction? [00:28:24] Speaker A: I'm gonna tell you the truth. I'm questioning it. Cause that's how me and my girl started. Just friends, like. But I also believe that people can't keep it in line. Everybody's not the same. Like, because sometimes you could be friends with somebody, but y' all not compatible for a relationship. And both of y' all understand that. So y' all don't even go that route. So I understand it. It could be both ways. [00:28:43] Speaker B: Okay. Chanel, have you ever had a genuine platonic friendship? [00:28:46] Speaker D: I do. My best friend is a guy. [00:28:48] Speaker B: So how. [00:28:49] Speaker A: Yo. [00:28:49] Speaker B: Then how your man can't have no friend that's a girl. [00:28:52] Speaker D: I said he couldn't. You said friends. [00:28:53] Speaker B: You said it on the other. You said it on the other episode. [00:28:55] Speaker D: He was there before me. But my best friend is a guy. Hold on. [00:29:00] Speaker A: Wait a minute. Do you want to fight him something? Cause she. She just coming with this. Do you see the neck popping? You see the neck popping? [00:29:06] Speaker D: And all this conversation already. [00:29:07] Speaker A: She be ready for. [00:29:08] Speaker D: He be ready to come for me. Like, he already don't know it. My perspective, [00:29:13] Speaker B: tj, question for you. Does physical attraction automatically complicate the friendship? [00:29:18] Speaker D: Am I Duke certifies [00:29:22] Speaker C: it. It. It can. It can. Because, like, Chanel was saying, like, man, are we a visual. Visual creatures. So if something look good to us, we gonna be like, dang, bro. Like, I wonder. You gonna have them thoughts in your head. Like, you gonna start imagining so. [00:29:37] Speaker B: But I don't like. So we can't be too attractive people. That's just really good friends. [00:29:42] Speaker C: I ain't saying that, but that's the thing. I think Chanel said something that's important, too. Like, we gotta have some kind of history. Cause I got a female best friend, too. And like, her husband, she's married, man, he swore up and down, he swooping down. We did something, man. We were dealing. We ain't never dealt like that a day in our lives. We've been knowing each other since elementary school. So I think it's just a level of security that you have. Like you was talking about, you have to have a level of security within yourself. Now, that same guy, man, that's like my brother. So I think that's the most important thing. Like, even if we are physically attracted to physically attracted people, and like you said, too, man, you just can't always take it there, man. I have another friend. You know, she's attractive, but I was in college. A lot of guys, like, man, why [00:30:26] Speaker A: you ain't hit that? [00:30:26] Speaker C: Why you ain't hit that? I'm like, yo, why would I ruin a good relationship that I got without doing that versus potentially doing that or doing it? And, man, that thing just go to sugar, honey, iced tea. [00:30:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:30:36] Speaker C: Now, I ain't got. I ain't got no kind of resources or residuals coming from that. [00:30:40] Speaker B: Yeah, I done lost a bunch of friends over that. [00:30:42] Speaker C: You know what I'm saying? And, man, that's why I was responsible to man. Sometimes best to keep yourself both. [00:30:48] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:30:49] Speaker B: So do you. Do you find it so. So for that, do you find it like, it's easier if both friends are in A relationship? [00:30:56] Speaker C: No, I ain't saying that. [00:30:58] Speaker A: I think. [00:30:58] Speaker B: No, I'm saying if they're. If each one of them has that, like, you know, like, you got a girlfriend and she has a boyfriend and [00:31:03] Speaker A: you have a woman, it makes it. [00:31:05] Speaker D: It makes it easier for your partner. [00:31:07] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:31:09] Speaker B: Okay. [00:31:09] Speaker D: That's where it doesn't create an insecurity for your partners. You know what I'm saying? Because I think as a female with a male best friend, your friendship, it doesn't change the dynamics of your friendship, but it gives security to your partners that there's nothing going on between the two of you, because they're like, hey, she got somebody. Hey, he got somebody. You know what I'm saying? And also, if one of you are single, and especially when it's the female. Cause I'm in that situation. I'm single. He's married. I had to back up from my friendship with him to a certain degree so she wouldn't feel like I was too needy for her, man. [00:31:42] Speaker C: Yeah. That's a fact. That's a fact, though, Chanel. [00:31:44] Speaker A: Right? And to kind of, like, the point that you saying, I feel like it's the emphasis on how a person put emphasis on their friendship because, like, the value system of the friendship. Like, if this is my lady right here, and my female best friend called, and I got to get on the phone, like, we're having an intimate moment. Like, we're talking or whatever, just chilling. My female best friend called. Her call. Can't wait. It's like the emphasis that you put on your opposite on the friend. Like, dang, she comes before. So sometimes it's that, too. You can't have the best friend. And if me and my lady here talking, the best friend call, I got to jump up and go somewhere, or [00:32:24] Speaker C: I can't go to the bathroom or something. [00:32:26] Speaker A: Like. [00:32:27] Speaker D: So let me give you an example. And I'm not gonna call names, but if you know me, you already know who my best friend is. A situation that's going on currently, like, he had to have a situation done or whatever. And certain things that he won't do. He's stubborn. And she'll be quick to be like, I'm about to call Chanel. Because, you know, if she come over here about to break loose, he be like, man, I ain't got time for this. Yeah. Cause I'm coming, and when I come, he fall in line. Because he already know. He ain't. He already know how this about to go. [00:32:59] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:33:00] Speaker D: But it's certain things that he will not do for his own wife. And she don't feel no type of way. You know, they first got married and I come over there and I had to tell her. I was like, it's no disrespect to you, but he's my best friend. There are certain times that I be wanting to have a conversation with my friend that I don't necessarily want listening ears. I had to get her to a comfortable place with me to understand that it don't necessarily have to be group conversations for you to feel comfortable. But it took years for us to get there. But it was a time when she felt like, I ain't too cool with you having a female best friend. So I had to back up. And to allow him to have a close relationship with his wife, I had to back up. [00:33:42] Speaker A: It's complex. Like, the whole scenario is complex. Like, especially, you know, if you the best friend. And it seems as though I'm at your every beckoning call. I'm like, I'm your night and shining arm. Like. Like I can understand that having the backup part because that it can be. It can be overwhelming. Like, because your perception is your reality. [00:34:01] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:01] Speaker A: So whatever you perceive to be going on, it's going to be going on. It's going on. [00:34:06] Speaker B: So should your partner automatically trust your friendship? [00:34:10] Speaker D: No, no. [00:34:10] Speaker A: I don't say automatically trust anything that in his life don't automatically show improve. That's how you get trust. Not by just. I'm just gonna be green and I'm just. Yeah, they said they ain't doing nothing, they ain't doing nothing. [00:34:21] Speaker D: I feel like it's the job of your significant other to make you comfortable with this situation. [00:34:25] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. And to provide reassurance and put respect on not only, you know, the friendship, but also the relationship. So it has to be a mutual thing to where everyone understands that, hey, you're here, you're here. And we can meet in the middle sometimes. But like you said, Chanel, sometimes I wanted to talk to my friend. [00:34:46] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:34:47] Speaker C: And you know, Chanel, you call me sometimes I'm with my wife and you like, oh, he ain't got time for me. You know what I'm saying? [00:34:55] Speaker D: And there are boundaries that's put in place. Like the friendship that we had before he got with her is not the same friendship we have now. The love is still the same. The friendship, we are definitely still friends. But I have to respect that he has a wife now. So there are boundaries that were automatically put in place. I would never, ever call his house after 9 o', clock, I would never call. You know, I'm saying, I know their routine. They join the same church that I go to because they love me, so they join the same church I go to. We have integrated our lives together so we could spend more time together as a family. We're not just friends, we're family. So there are certain things that, you know, we do together. I'm the godmother of their child and. But there are certain things that boundaries are put in place that I respect and they also respect. Even though I'm single, he doesn't call me at a certain time because I ain't got no business being on the phone with no man that's married after a certain time. [00:35:44] Speaker B: So, you know, and we're gonna get to some boundaries. We're gonna get the boundaries a little bit later. Because I did want to make some [00:35:51] Speaker D: points about that it can happen. It all depends on the person and how you respect your relationship. [00:35:56] Speaker B: Is your partner's comfort level more important than your freedom to choose your friends? Tj, [00:36:04] Speaker C: like, not. No, because my partnership trust and believe that I would never associate with someone that I feel like would be a dangerous to them or try and harm them or even try to have ulterior motives towards her. [00:36:20] Speaker B: Yeah, but it's just like, the question of, should I care if she's comfortable or not, rather than my freedom to choose my friends. Like, I should be able to choose who I want to hang out with whether she's comfortable or not. Or is this. [00:36:33] Speaker C: Dang, man. [00:36:34] Speaker B: Like, does her. Should her comfort level. Should your mate's comfort level matter? [00:36:38] Speaker C: I'll say this. It does matter. And I think it would be the best thing to be considerate of the comfortability of your partner. But like I said, it also comes down to, you know, you choosing the kind of people that you would want around you, even whether you got her as a partner or not. So you have to keep both in mind. And a lot of people are saying now, to be considered is, like, the highest form of love. And, like, that's something that I believe. So, yeah, you wanna consider that. Because eventually you wanna have her around your friends. You don't want her to feel as if she's a target. Cause, you know, sometimes men, we talk a certain manner when we're around each other. So if I have my girl with me and they talking crazy like that, and if I'm not stepping up, like, hey, man, like, you gotta check that. You know what I'm saying? We got my girl right here. So we can't talk like that. So I think it's a balance of both you not putting yourself in a position to where she's not trusting you and the people who you call friends or who you associate with, but also letting your friends know that, hey man, like, if my girl is around, it's just certain things we're not going to talk about. So comfortability is important and choosing your good friends is important too. But which one matters most? [00:38:13] Speaker B: We give the tough questions over here now. [00:38:15] Speaker C: Hey, man, we don't want. You want your. You. Cause this side see. Cause you gonna see your partner way more than you see your friends. So I would want my. I think it's the comfortability of my partner, I think that weighs a little bit more heavy because we have to deal with each other in a different kind of way. I cannot talk to my friends for two, three weeks or something like that. But with my partner, that's everyday communication to where we're building something else versus what we're doing here. So that's what I'll say. The comfortability of my partner is probably weighs more. [00:38:50] Speaker A: I like how you worked that out because I was kind of conflicted as to how you was gonna end it. [00:38:56] Speaker C: Yeah, I had to navigate that thing, [00:38:58] Speaker A: man, because like, hey, drove it in there. [00:38:59] Speaker C: But hey, I'm like this because, like, I believe in having autonomy of yourself as an individual and the choices that you make. But when you're involving somebody and you're integrating somebody into your life, that changes, man, that changes the dynamic and like, to piggyback off what you saying, like, all my friends and my brothers, all those guys are married. I'm the only guy that's single. So it's going to be certain times where, hey, man, I gotta go be with my wife or their wives only trust me to be. To go out with because they know that I'm not somebody who's gonna have them doing something malicious or crazy. So that's a level of responsibility in of itself to be that kind of person. But it shouldn't come with a partner. It should be something that's already within you to be like, oh, if I know Chanel's gonna be. I'm not gonna bring Chanel to the slums, you know what I'm saying? So where she feels uncomfortable because that's a woman. And security is probably one of the most important things to women. [00:40:04] Speaker B: It is security. That's what I've been told. [00:40:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:40:07] Speaker B: I don't believe them, but that's what [00:40:08] Speaker C: they told me, man. I Had to. [00:40:10] Speaker A: You don't believe it Worked it out. [00:40:13] Speaker B: So at what point do you think, well, hold on. It goes a better one. Can someone be wrong for feeling uncomfortable even when nothing inappropriate is happening? Because that's. That's a. That's. That's a pet peeve of mine. I ain't doing nothing. So don't accuse me of doing nothing. Don't be uncomfortable with nothing. Cause that just comes off as insecure to me. To me, it just comes off as your insecurities. I haven't given you a reason I haven't given you a reason to feel uncomfortable. That me and my friend. That me and my friend are doing anything. I haven't given you. You know, she hasn't given you any reasons for anything. You know, she don't call late. You know, if I'm with you locked in, I'm not answering the phone for her. If I'm on. If I'm on the phone with her, I don't hang up as soon as you walk in the door. I stay on. You know, all of that. You know, I'm not giving you reason to feel uncomfortable, but you always got something to say. As far as your comfortability is concerned, that just comes off as insecure to me. [00:41:05] Speaker A: I think that's a time limit question. Like, is this beginning, middle, like, where y' all at in y' all relationship? [00:41:13] Speaker B: In all of this, we're together. I would say in all of this, you've been together for some time. [00:41:18] Speaker A: Okay? If you've been together for some time and if everything that you listed, I've never given you a reason. I ain't hanging up. Like, I can't. I can't. Like, that's a self problem. Like, it's like when Will Smith was, like, he realized he couldn't make Jada happy because she had to be happy within herself. Like, so that's a self problem. So my thing is I would definitely try and keep on trying and keep on reiterating, like, there's nothing to worry about. But I'm not responsible for your happiness. I'm not responsible for your piece. If I'm already showing you that there's nothing to be. [00:41:49] Speaker B: Nothing to be. Yeah. To be. [00:41:51] Speaker A: Because if we're in the beginning stages, I can understand it because that takes some wrapping your head around. But if we. If we. If you stay this long, why are you staying? If you still are in this mode, why are you still here? Like, so it's not my job to keep on kind of like. Like making you feel this Way, when I'm showing you ain't nothing going on, like. And obviously, you should trust me. If you've been with me. If you've been with me a year or two, like, you. Come on now. [00:42:18] Speaker C: You. [00:42:18] Speaker D: You. [00:42:18] Speaker A: You making yourself look like that, That's a self problem. [00:42:21] Speaker C: Hey, word. This. This. Dad on the dad. When people like about those kind of things, this is because they're guilty themselves of doing it, man. That's what I learned. That's just my personal. [00:42:32] Speaker B: Yeah, I can. [00:42:33] Speaker D: I ain't gonna say they guilty of themselves, but sometimes people are scarred by old trauma or things they've been through, and they carry it into new relationships. [00:42:41] Speaker A: Well, that's. [00:42:42] Speaker C: Well, you don't need to be in no new relationship. [00:42:43] Speaker B: One of my biggest problems is for another show. I was gonna say that's for a whole nother. I do not want to pay the bill. Somebody else ran up, right? [00:42:50] Speaker D: I don't know. [00:42:51] Speaker B: That's. That's not my bill to pay. [00:42:53] Speaker D: I can understand somebody being uncomfortable and even addressing letting you know, hey, I'm uncomfortable in the beginning stages because I think transparency is important. Transparency is important to let you know, hey, I'm not trying to stop you from doing this, but I do want you to know how it makes me feel and that I need to work on it. But it's not fair to push off what you're feeling onto somebody else because you're dealing with your old trauma. But if it's somebody who you want to stick and stay with, work on your issue. But it's okay to make it transparent that I'm feeling something, but how long you stay in it, that's when it becomes. [00:43:29] Speaker A: And also, too, I do want to add this. When it. When it comes to the opposite sex friend thing, time limit matters. Because how long have you and this person being friends? And when did y' all become friends? Because me and her, ain't we not gonna be together for five years, Then all of a sudden, she get this new male at work, and he becomes her best friend. We've been together for five years, and all of a sudden, like, we not kids. We not kids. So if that's. If that's being your best. Like, if that's really being your best friend. Yeah, there's some concessions that I have to make, and I have to understand, and I have to work around my own stuff to try to be able to understand this. [00:44:05] Speaker D: I ain't working around it. As soon as you say, I got a new friend at work. [00:44:08] Speaker A: No, no, no, no, no. I'M saying if we being friends. If we being friends. [00:44:11] Speaker C: What you said? [00:44:13] Speaker A: Yeah, like I'm saying, when you get like, if me and her being together for five years. If me and her been together for five years and you got a new friend at work, that's not flying. [00:44:22] Speaker D: You in the process of looking for a new job because you about to leave that friend right there. [00:44:25] Speaker A: Yeah, that's not flying. But if she had. If I had a friend prior to her or she had a friend prior to us meeting her and that friend being together, being friends since seventh grade. I have to adjust myself to be able to deal with that. But we ain't getting into no. We together for five years now all of a sudden. [00:44:42] Speaker C: All of a sudden. No, no. [00:44:44] Speaker A: This is my. Y' all playing with me now. You're playing with me. [00:44:49] Speaker B: I do have a rule in my relationships, and I discuss it. It's no new friends. Yeah, you can have associates. You can, you know, because I know that you have a job and you'll meet people on the job and stuff like that. And, you know, but where's new friends coming from? [00:45:04] Speaker D: I ain't even cool with that. Listen, I work at a plant, and I see what the associates do at work. [00:45:10] Speaker C: Come on now. [00:45:12] Speaker D: Socialize, if you wanna. You gonna FaceTime me while you at [00:45:15] Speaker B: work, Bro, you abusive. [00:45:20] Speaker D: I might be a little aggressive in my personal life. [00:45:22] Speaker B: You might see somebody. [00:45:23] Speaker C: Car like, that's part of being. [00:45:25] Speaker D: I ain't gonna kill your car. I ain't got time to be breaking my nails when they done. [00:45:28] Speaker C: No, she might put sugar in your tank. Don't use. [00:45:31] Speaker B: Yeah, maybe it's sugar water. [00:45:33] Speaker D: Actually. No, I got brothers and sons. Come on, give me some credit. [00:45:42] Speaker B: To your point, Chanel, you talked about boundaries a little bit, so just give us some thought. What boundaries do you think should exist in a friendship? You said no calls after a certain time. What are the boundaries? Do you think you should. Should exist between opposite sex friendships whether it's in a relationship or not? [00:45:58] Speaker D: I feel like yes. Calls. I feel like pop up visits. [00:46:02] Speaker B: I don't want no pop up visits. You could be my woman. You could be my woman. [00:46:07] Speaker A: Deathly Chanel. With calls when. Like you said, times is one thing, but when y' all talk to each other, why y' all gotta go in separate If y' all got to go in separate rooms every time y' all get on the phone, that's gonna get my mind. [00:46:20] Speaker D: I ain't gonna say every time. [00:46:21] Speaker A: Not every time [00:46:24] Speaker D: for myself, because I'm trying to find the Right way to say this and not be rude. Me and my friend have established a friendship that I know what I tell him don't go nowhere. I can't guarantee that with his significant other because she ain't my best friend. I got to a certain place with him that I trust. Him not saying I don't trust her, but I didn't establish that with her. So if I want to talk to him about something, especially dealing with my boys or something very intimate dealing with me that I want to have his input on, I ain't want him, her, and their children and everybody else to hear so him to step into another room. I don't necessarily feel like that's disrespectful. I just feel like he need to have some transparency with her. Like, hey, she want to talk to me about something, you know, a little private, you okay with that? That's where he needs to be more open with his wife. [00:47:14] Speaker C: Yeah. Considerate. [00:47:15] Speaker D: You get what I'm saying? [00:47:16] Speaker A: I can respect that. [00:47:16] Speaker D: But it ain't no. Every time. There has been times that I done been to their house. Of course she know I'm coming. He got locks. I retwist his hair, you know, and I'm twisting his hair, whatever. And we sitting and we talking, and she walk in the room, and I done got quiet, and she be like, nobody want to hear what y' all gotta talk about. Yes, you do. Go in another room, man. [00:47:33] Speaker A: You came in. [00:47:36] Speaker D: It ain't like he's sitting on the couc in between my legs. I'm doing this here. I don't be disrespectful, you know what I'm saying? But there are certain things that. She's been in his life and my life long enough to know that she know how I am about certain things that I'm not gonna talk about in front of her. But I love her the same. I do talk to her. We have conversations. We talk trash about him all the time. But it is what it is. I love her. That's my sister, too. But my best friend relationship is with him, not with her. [00:48:05] Speaker A: I'm gonna tell you like this. If I walk in there and that. Quit talking. Say it with your chest, little. Cause what you got to do, that's what. [00:48:12] Speaker D: Men and women are different. [00:48:13] Speaker A: Yeah. What you got to get quiet for? It don't be in here while I'm out. [00:48:17] Speaker C: He ain't leaving until you said. [00:48:19] Speaker A: Yeah. What you had to. Why you quiet? [00:48:21] Speaker D: But again, what you established and what has been respected over time, it is what it is. I have never been. [00:48:29] Speaker A: That was a personality answer. I'm trying to show my personality a little bit. [00:48:33] Speaker D: I'm sorry, go ahead. I ain't want to block it because we don't get to see you smile. [00:48:37] Speaker B: So is transparency. Is transparency enough or are some situations just simply inappropriate? [00:48:43] Speaker A: What you mean by that? [00:48:49] Speaker B: They tell you what's going on, and because they told you they were upfront with you about it, is that okay? Or is some things just inappropriate? No matter. No matter whether the person is transparent [00:49:04] Speaker D: or not, Some things. No matter how transparent you are, it still can be inappropriate [00:49:12] Speaker A: in the beginning phases. Transparency is great, but certain things can still be. Like, she said, certain things can still be inappropriate. Like, because if y' all let. Let's say y'. All. Y' all all go on a couple's trip, you, Your best friend got somebody. Let's say we in this situation. Well, both of the best friends got somebody. Y' all go on the Copa trip, all of a sudden, y' all two end up dancing on the dance floor. Y' all people go get some drink, and she. And she grinding on you, huh? Or she grinding on you. Your woman not going for that? Like, like, oh, my God. [00:49:40] Speaker D: Why your examples always go there? [00:49:42] Speaker A: No, I'm saying, like, cuz when I be trying to think of, like, inappropriate stuff, it's like. Like, I don't really get in my feelings about a lot of stuff. Like, I ain't about to get in my feeling about you talking, but, like, if you grinding or doing, like, other stuff like that, I'm gonna be a little bit more. Because I'm kind of reasonable. [00:49:58] Speaker D: So physical stuff is mainly the. [00:50:00] Speaker A: Yeah, I'll be. [00:50:01] Speaker C: That's the boundary for him. [00:50:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:50:03] Speaker A: Like, for me, I'd be reasonable, bro. Like, I understand. Like, and I hate to be too biblical when I say this, but my lady is the lady who's. [00:50:10] Speaker C: Who, who. [00:50:10] Speaker A: Like, we all. We all in church. Like, God use her to minister to different people. Like, I ain't saying, like, y' all gonna be on no. In no room by yourself. But, like, if she's talking to somebody, I ain't tripping on that. But if I walk in and your ministering, including you. Yeah, man, just get a little fancy stuff like that. That. That'd be my. That. [00:50:29] Speaker C: That just they staring into people's eyes. [00:50:31] Speaker A: Yeah, just like y'. [00:50:32] Speaker C: All. I feel that. But I mean, things. The way you talk to one another could be inappropriate just the same, though, right? [00:50:39] Speaker A: For sure. [00:50:39] Speaker D: Certain conversations can get very inappropriate. [00:50:41] Speaker C: You know what I mean, so we [00:50:42] Speaker B: always got to be mindful sometimes how they dress around you. [00:50:46] Speaker A: Oh, listen, exactly. [00:50:48] Speaker D: I'll tell you that one. Okay. I am a stickler for that. I dress how I dress. I mean, I do my thing, but where I go determines how I dress. I have never, ever gone over to my best friend's house with nothing short on. Matter of fact, I probably would even wear this over there. Just cause my shoulders out and it's just my shoulders. I feel like I dress pretty modest, but not because I feel like he'll look at me, but I don't ever want to give her the mindset to think that he's looking at me a different way. I respect her enough that I don't even want you to think it. Yeah, I ain't wearing no biker shorts over there. I ain't wearing nothing too tight or new, you know, none of that. None of that. [00:51:27] Speaker A: Because you make it easier for you. You make it easier. [00:51:30] Speaker D: But the reason why I make it easy, because I love my friend just that much that I don't want to complicate his life. [00:51:36] Speaker C: And you respect. [00:51:36] Speaker A: You respect, right? [00:51:37] Speaker C: I think his marriage enough. [00:51:39] Speaker A: And I think that's where a lot of times, like, even with these conversations, that's where the lines get blurted. When you maybe have one party, feeling like they don't have to, like you said with the boundaries, don't feel like they have to respect that person, right? Like. And if you love your friend and you know that this is what they got going on, this is their partner, like, there's a certain level of respect that you must have, even for your friend, for yourself. But like, I think he get blurred. Like, when. Like if I feel like, okay, me and you together. If a dude feel like he could come in here and just like we sitting here talking, he just. Yeah, like. Like come grab you right in your neck. [00:52:12] Speaker C: What's up? [00:52:13] Speaker A: Yeah, like. Like, bro, you don't see me sitting here. Like, yeah, first off, speak to me too, right? Q, what's up with you, bro? Chanel, how you doing, girl? Like, all right, cool. [00:52:23] Speaker B: Now. [00:52:24] Speaker A: Now I'm in a little bit more relaxed mode. [00:52:26] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:52:26] Speaker A: But if you come in and you just grab her by her neck like [00:52:29] Speaker D: that, also, that's also how a woman cares herself. For instance, last night we went to Oasis. My son, my other son, we all sit at the table together. And a guy that I knew, when he spoke, he dapped them up first before he came and greet me. Because you ain't gonna be disrespectful to the table. [00:52:45] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:52:47] Speaker D: How I carry myself is what gives the people around me respect as well. Now, if I was the type of woman that you could come and slap me on my behind and, hey, girl, I ain't seen you in a long time, then that's the type of energy I'm gonna bring. And whatever guy I'm with gonna get [00:53:00] Speaker C: disrespected as well, because you creating a distraction, right? Creating a distraction for it to happen. [00:53:08] Speaker B: That was a. Yeah, well, got a rapid fire for you. Yes or no? All you gotta do is answer yes or no. [00:53:13] Speaker C: Chanel. [00:53:14] Speaker D: Why y' all do this to me? [00:53:15] Speaker B: It's only a couple. It has to do with what we just talked about. It's about. It's about boundaries. Just go and see where your boundaries are. First one, I pretty much. We've covered it. So I pretty much know everybody's answer. Late night phone calls. Yes or no? [00:53:26] Speaker A: No. [00:53:26] Speaker B: No one on one dinners. Yes or no? [00:53:30] Speaker D: Maybe. [00:53:30] Speaker A: Yes. [00:53:32] Speaker D: Yes. [00:53:33] Speaker C: I mean, I have been going. [00:53:35] Speaker B: Hanging out alone at each other's homes. [00:53:39] Speaker D: Yes. [00:53:40] Speaker C: I don't know about that. [00:53:40] Speaker A: Boy. [00:53:43] Speaker C: What time we talking? [00:53:44] Speaker D: Yeah, that's a little loaded. [00:53:48] Speaker C: Yeah, that's a nuance we can't do. You. [00:53:50] Speaker A: Yeah, we can't do. Yeah, no, on that one. That's. Cause that can go. [00:53:54] Speaker D: I'm gonna give you a reason why. Okay. My best friend, he's also my mechanic, so he come to my house all the time to fix up my car. [00:54:00] Speaker B: No hanging out. You know what hanging out is? Yeah, but we chilling, watching Netflix, just. [00:54:05] Speaker D: Nah, nah, we ain't doing that. [00:54:07] Speaker A: As soon as you said that. [00:54:16] Speaker B: So you don't. With your homegirls. With your homegirls. You know, you and your homegirls don't get together and maybe watch a movie or something like that, Talk about y' [00:54:23] Speaker D: all and drink Hennessy. [00:54:24] Speaker A: No, no. You know why? With the male best friend, right? If you at home watching Netflix with. You know what, you're gonna have on some sweatpants or you're gonna have on some shorts. Come on. Come on. You said. [00:54:39] Speaker B: Now who says that's what it gotta be? [00:54:41] Speaker A: But you're not. Come on, you're chilling, bro. No, I'm just. No, I'm not. [00:54:47] Speaker B: You. [00:54:47] Speaker A: I'm just saying, like. [00:54:48] Speaker B: No, no, I'm saying you said whoever's house it is, that person is going to be. [00:54:51] Speaker A: They're going to be in there. They're chill stuff. Okay, so you do walking. Man, man, think about your girl. Well, Burning man said I'm a look, right? Women Are women men? Are men. The. The boy best friend walk in. My girl sitting there and let's say his stuff is showing his. She gonna be looking then. Then y' all chilling. Nah, bro, that's too much to think about, dog. No. [00:55:16] Speaker C: Hey, you're gonna have to go on the other side of the door, partner. [00:55:18] Speaker A: Yeah, no, can't do that. [00:55:22] Speaker B: Sharing relationship problems with that friend. Yes or no? [00:55:26] Speaker A: No. Yeah. [00:55:27] Speaker D: Yes. [00:55:29] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:55:30] Speaker C: I, I, I don't put nobody in in me and my business because you just getting outside vantage point. You ain't even inside the situation like that. [00:55:39] Speaker A: So I'm say I'mma say no. [00:55:41] Speaker B: All right, last one. Going on vacation together. Yes or no? [00:55:43] Speaker C: No. No, no. [00:55:45] Speaker A: That. That's drama. That's trauma from that. From that first one of them first questions he asked. Yeah. Nah. [00:55:54] Speaker B: All right. Got a couple more things saying. We'll. We'll go ahead and and get out of here. Got a few toxic take questions. Your partner doesn't have a problem with your friend. They have a problem with that friend. They don't have a problem with you having friends. They just have a problem with that one friend. What do you do? [00:56:12] Speaker D: It depends on the problem they have. [00:56:17] Speaker C: You can roll your eyes and then too. Go ahead. Go ahead, Q. [00:56:20] Speaker A: No, you go ahead. Cause you might you might be able to help. [00:56:22] Speaker C: Go ahead. [00:56:22] Speaker A: I about to say I cut off a friend for mine. I cut off a friend for mine. [00:56:26] Speaker C: So does it matter how long you've been a friend to that person? [00:56:29] Speaker B: Yeah, that's my. [00:56:30] Speaker A: That matters, bro. That matters. That matters. [00:56:33] Speaker B: How long this person been for, bro? [00:56:34] Speaker C: Cause, like, you think I'm about to cut you. [00:56:36] Speaker A: And the life experiences we've done shared together. [00:56:38] Speaker D: While they say it depends on something, you don't roll your eyes. But when I say it depends because everything. [00:56:42] Speaker B: Because every question everything is a. Well, I'mma just be. [00:56:46] Speaker C: That's a loaded question. That's a loaded question. [00:56:48] Speaker A: Yeah, I know it seemed like it's the three on one that we flipped the script on you. [00:56:51] Speaker D: I can handle mine. [00:56:53] Speaker B: Last week it was two on one on. [00:56:54] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, they. They. They would. They was. [00:56:56] Speaker B: And they. They was trying to get. [00:56:57] Speaker A: And she was a ring leader backup. [00:56:59] Speaker D: You had 1900 ducks with you. [00:57:01] Speaker A: I'm happy. [00:57:02] Speaker B: I'm happy angel wasn't here today, but [00:57:04] Speaker A: yeah, man, I think, I think she [00:57:06] Speaker B: texted you recording that matters, bro. I was like, yeah, we already recorded [00:57:11] Speaker A: life experiences with your partner too. Like, because with your friend, if this being my friend, that's consoled me when my grandparents die. Birth of A child. Like, it's gonna be hard to just say. [00:57:23] Speaker D: It depends on why. [00:57:23] Speaker C: Cause, like, we might not work out. [00:57:25] Speaker A: We might not. [00:57:26] Speaker D: And then how I'm gonna get my friend back? [00:57:28] Speaker A: Cause once you show that color, like. And if your friend is your friend, they will understand. Like, you saying, like, I kinda got to back away a little bit. I ain't saying me and you not gonna be friends anymore, but, like, our dynamic is gonna change a little bit. [00:57:42] Speaker D: You can't just tell me, oh, I get a bad vibe from your friend and think I'm just gonna cut them off. You gotta give me some reasons. [00:57:47] Speaker C: Hey, for you. Hey, I need something bought in writing. I need something in writing that you actually seen. And that's just me. I can't cut you off. [00:57:56] Speaker A: I can't cut you off. [00:57:57] Speaker B: Well, we gotta. We had somebody write in to talk about this topic. How to listen to letter. It's very short. Says, my girlfriend has a male best friend she talks to every day. She says they've never dated and are like brother and sister. Am I secure for feeling uncomfortable or is this a reasonable concern? [00:58:20] Speaker A: They talk every day. They say they're like brothers and sisters. I got brothers and sisters. That mean we came out the same cooter. And I don't talk to them every day. That's concerning. Like, every day. Y' all have to be on the phone. Like, I love my brothers and my sister to death. I put my life on the line for them, and I don't talk to them every day. [00:58:39] Speaker B: True. [00:58:39] Speaker A: So the fact that you got to talk to somebody that you only share vagina. Come on now. Like. Well, they might have did, sure. But, you know. But, like, that's. That's. Yeah. Nah, you got to figure that out. [00:58:50] Speaker B: What about you? [00:58:52] Speaker D: I don't think it's necessarily a. I don't think it's necessarily a red flag. It. Everything that you're saying, there are certain levels to that. Just because she talks to him every day. It depends on how long they have been friends. Sometimes there are things that happen. Like, I told you the trauma I've been through in my life. I do certain things because of what I've been through. You don't know what went on in their relationship that causes them to talk every day. Maybe she lost all her siblings and that's all she has to hold on to. There might be a reason why she talks to them every day. [00:59:26] Speaker B: Can you disagree with that? [00:59:27] Speaker D: It's just a question. [00:59:27] Speaker C: Do you think you should be privy to that information for me to answer? [00:59:31] Speaker D: That question. [00:59:32] Speaker B: No. [00:59:33] Speaker C: For you to know the type of those things that they've gone through, for them to talk every day. [00:59:37] Speaker D: No, his question is, is he being insecure? [00:59:40] Speaker C: No, no, no. I'm asking you. [00:59:43] Speaker A: He's asking you, like, if you had that situation going on. [00:59:45] Speaker D: Oh, I thought you were saying. Answering his. [00:59:47] Speaker B: No, no, no, no, no. He was talking to. He was pretty much that person. [00:59:51] Speaker C: Be. Should your partner be privy to the truth? [00:59:54] Speaker A: This is the reason why I talk to them every day. [00:59:55] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, [00:59:58] Speaker D: yeah. I think if you're my partner and I'm talking to somebody every single day, I think, yeah, you should disclose, hey, this is the reason why I'm connected to this person the way I am. [01:00:08] Speaker A: It's just hard for me to see somebody talking to a friend every single time. [01:00:13] Speaker D: But I feel like the reason why it's hard for you to see it is because you don't have a baseline as to why. Like I was telling y' all in a past podcast, people be like, oh, you post pictures all the time. You post pictures all the time. Every Sunday, you posting pictures. I lost my mom at 17 years old, and I have three pictures of my mom in 28 years, and I have. In my mom. I refuse to let my boys leave this world and not have my personality splattered everywhere. So I post a lot of pictures. I take a lot of memories. I have videos and everything else. You're gonna see me every day of your life. You can have a picture for every hour of the day. Because that trauma in me of not having enough of my mom, I don't remember her voice anymore. [01:00:51] Speaker A: Okay, so what? [01:00:51] Speaker D: So therefore, sometimes people do things based off things that they've lost. So maybe the reason why she talked to them so much is because of something she's been through or something that they. [01:01:00] Speaker A: Okay, so in your mind, what is an acceptable trauma or an acceptable reason that someone can tell you that they talk to a person every day? And I'm not saying that for a battle. I'm just asking, like, your real opinion on it. What would be something acceptable to say? Okay, this is why I talk to this person every day. [01:01:18] Speaker D: The same way you were saying that. What if this person. Like, if he was saying that, if you had a friend and your significant other didn't like him, and you just said, well, if they done been through the death of my grandmother and all this and that for me, then I might have a hard time cutting them off. They could have shared something so traumatic that, hey, I ain't trying to lose contact with him, she could have had cancer and he sat by her bed every day. Or she could have lost everybody in her family. [01:01:44] Speaker C: And. [01:01:44] Speaker D: And it's the only family member she got left. He may not be blood family, but he family. So I want to stay connected to him every day. I check in with him every day. Nobody ain't say, she's sitting on the phone four and five hours. It could be simply. [01:01:55] Speaker A: Yeah, that's the part of it. Like, how long are they. [01:01:58] Speaker D: It's not enough information to say what it is, but just simply talking to somebody every day. Now I could have a problem to say, dog, man, two hours, you still on the phone with that nigga, then you got an issue. You know what I'm saying? But just because you talked to him today, now I'm saying, you funny. [01:02:15] Speaker A: I respect. I respect your answer, but I still don't agree. [01:02:18] Speaker C: And that's why I asked, you know, should they be privy to that kind of information? Because, like, that kind of thing matters. [01:02:23] Speaker D: That goes back to transparency. [01:02:25] Speaker C: Now, what you do with that? What you do with that? I mean, you have to deal with that in regards to insecure or not and believing that. [01:02:31] Speaker D: So now if you still got an issue, then that's some insecurity. [01:02:34] Speaker A: But my thing is, like, dang, you can't live without that nigga or something. Like, [01:02:40] Speaker C: hey, I feel you. [01:02:41] Speaker A: But, like, for real, though, like, bro, [01:02:43] Speaker B: what you're saying makes sense. It doesn't make sense. [01:02:45] Speaker A: Yeah, for real, though, like, you can't [01:02:46] Speaker B: live without, like, not one day without talking. [01:02:49] Speaker A: You got to talk to him every day in order for your life to be going 100% right? Like, that's abnormal to me. I'm not saying y' all doing anything, but you have a reliance on this person. That's not unhealthy. [01:02:59] Speaker C: Right? [01:03:00] Speaker A: That's not natural. [01:03:01] Speaker D: So let me ask you a question. If your mom was to call you every single morning and say, hey, good morning, T.O. and you don't respond, text your n say, good morning, Q. And you don't respond. And then when you finally do respond and she said, well, hey, I done text you all week long, you didn't respond, would you tell her you need me to respond to you every single day? You don't know what a person needs to get through the day. But sometimes we just talk about people committing suicide and all this. You don't know what small token a person needs to get through the day. And it's not your job to weigh that. But sometimes we have to be accountability partners to Other people, rather you decide rather it's important to them or not. It ain't your battle, that ain't your journey. But if they choose to be accountability partners, who they friend, no matter how small it may be to you, can mean the world to somebody else. [01:03:58] Speaker A: And I agree with that. But I'm gonna have to rebuttal you with this because you always gotta rebuttal. If you are that type of person, you need to go seek counseling, you need to go get some real help. Because if this person dies today, what are you gonna do after that? You're still gonna be going through that same problem because you never really got it addressed. That's just a band aid for a problem. If that's the case, that's a band aid. Go get some real help. Like, that's just. I don't know, bro. Just. I don't know. Every day just made a valid point. [01:04:26] Speaker C: Without. [01:04:26] Speaker A: That's just crazy to me. [01:04:28] Speaker D: It could be. But I think because we're looking at it as far as male and female best friend and the best. [01:04:34] Speaker B: Because that's what the topic is. [01:04:35] Speaker D: Yeah. [01:04:36] Speaker A: Even if it was I don't have no male or no female. Like I don't have no male that I would. That I got to consult every day. I don't see no female that has to consult with somebody. Talk on the phone every day. Like every day your life, like that's just. Is mind boggling. Now to her point. I do want to respect her point. If you're going through a period of your life where you just need that person and let's say it's been going on a month and a half, that's different. And that the timing on stuff matters because if, like, if this been a whole year thing, like I'm a little bit more understanding toward the beginning than I'm gonna be to like toward, like, come on, we six months into this and y' all talking every day. Like if you just went through something traumatic, that's been your accountability department. Like she said. I respect that. But two years for. We've been going together for two years and every day out them two years you've had to talk to this person every day. Like, I don't understand. [01:05:30] Speaker C: Like a lot of times you can. They can end up feeling lighter and you end up feeling heavier just off the manual conversation. [01:05:39] Speaker A: Exactly. [01:05:39] Speaker C: That you have. So I mean, I think that's a part of the boundaries too. [01:05:43] Speaker D: Yeah. And the living conversation. Like, it doesn't have to be that. [01:05:47] Speaker C: I don't think it's A right or wrong answer. Yeah, that might be the other thing. [01:05:51] Speaker D: It wouldn't be. It depends on. It's a. It's a lot of levels to it to actually be right or wrong and [01:05:56] Speaker A: to the person that actually wrote in and actually asked the question what you're saying. [01:06:00] Speaker D: I agree with that. There should be a time frame and a cut off, especially if it's that drawn out, like you having full fledged conversations. [01:06:08] Speaker A: Right. To the person that asked the question. I don't think you're insecure. Depending on, like, I'm not gonna say you insecure at all. But if you do have trauma that you know you've dealt with in the past, in the past, you probably need to address that because that could be an issue if your partner talking to that person over, over, let's say six, seven, however long they're doing it. Y' all can. Y' all can get through it yourself. Like, there ain't nothing that we can advise you on or anything we could tell you, but just that's a communication thing that y' all need to really talk about. [01:06:35] Speaker C: You should tell that to your partner. [01:06:37] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, y' all should. Y' all should definitely discuss that. [01:06:39] Speaker D: Definitely. [01:06:39] Speaker A: Especially if it's bothering you and making you feel some type of way about yourself and you got you questioning yourself. And if they can't respect that, then that might not be the person for you. [01:06:48] Speaker C: There you go. And I was just about to say too, we have to cut things off at the head. So as soon as you started feeling like it's becoming an issue for you, man, don't wait. [01:06:59] Speaker A: Don't wait until. [01:07:00] Speaker C: Cause now when it comes up, oh, I've been doing it this long. Why is it a problem now? [01:07:03] Speaker A: Exactly. [01:07:05] Speaker C: And that's a legitimate question to be asked. You know what I mean? So when you start feeling that you have that feeling of discomfort, man, make it known. And you should. If you with that person, it should be a safe space for you to, you know, be transparent and say that. [01:07:23] Speaker B: Okay. All right. Appreciate y' all on that. Giving me y' all take. I posted on social media. So here's the comments. I put this was my answer. I'm cool with my girlfriend having male friends as long as they stay in the friend zone. Hall of fame. And don't start trying out for a starting position. [01:07:42] Speaker C: Hall of fame. [01:07:43] Speaker B: Because the moment a brother start texting. Good morning, beautiful. Somebody getting traded. Chanel said, I'm cool with the best friend that has established before me. But not friends of the opposite sex, plural. Jocelyn said, I don't see a problem with it. He just needs a little more information to make him comfortable. Dijonay of the It's Dijonay podcast. It depends on if they were friends before me. I can't, I can't dupe. Can't too much come in between that. But I will pay. I will still pay attention to the signs, if there are any, and I will politely make my exit because if something is going on behind my back, I doubt it'll stop. [01:08:26] Speaker C: People gonna do what they gonna do [01:08:27] Speaker B: regardless though John John said he better be gay. Orange green said my heterosexual male best friend who I met in college in South Carolina over 20 years ago on a drunken night and later sobered up and found out he was over 6ft and knew we could never be because I like short men. Flew to Georgia from Texas to be the groomsman in my wedding. [01:08:53] Speaker A: Hold up, wait a minute. Hold up, hold up. Shout out to the short man, bro. Cause you don't never, you don't, you don't never hear nobody say they like short men. Like, shout out to them for that man. [01:09:01] Speaker B: Shout out to the short kings. [01:09:02] Speaker C: Wouldn't want to be one though. [01:09:04] Speaker A: I'm telling you. [01:09:08] Speaker C: J.D. [01:09:09] Speaker B: graham, Jamie, he said she doesn't need to cut him off, but if she'd like to keep me and keep me out of her friends, enemies, cousins and sorrows, she'd spend as little time with him as possible. [01:09:22] Speaker A: That's a self problem. [01:09:25] Speaker C: That's not a little bit personal. [01:09:28] Speaker B: Shouts out to everybody in the comments. If you want to join the conversation, make sure that you email us at R e l s t podcast gmail.com. we also have the advice group on Facebook. It is the relationship status advice group. Go ahead and join that. We also have the group chat on Facebook as well. If you want to join that, just go ahead and inbox me. Yoshi English on Facebook or R e L S t podcast on how really [01:09:51] Speaker C: getting the platform, how really getting the group chat. [01:09:54] Speaker B: How, how real does it get it Sometimes it's. It sometimes gets real. Sometimes they be arguing from time to time. [01:10:01] Speaker A: Hey, before you go, you said I do got to say this. [01:10:05] Speaker B: I'm not gonna go yet. [01:10:06] Speaker A: When you're, when you're dealing with this kind of stuff also too, this is something you need to watch out for. Watch out for controlling people because sometimes, yes, there can be nothing going on and it's visible that nothing is going on. And some people want to control you to the point where they separate you from everybody. So always watch out for that, too. Watch out for that. Cause that's a big thing. That's a big thing. [01:10:26] Speaker B: All right, Chanel. [01:10:27] Speaker D: Yes. [01:10:28] Speaker B: And Q, tell them how. When they can find the pod, how they can find the pod, how they can follow the pod. [01:10:33] Speaker A: This is why we always need to be here. Follow us on Kimi Podcast. That's on Instagram. Okay, go ahead. [01:10:41] Speaker D: YouTube and Spotify. [01:10:43] Speaker B: Okay. [01:10:43] Speaker A: All right. [01:10:44] Speaker B: And how could they find you, Chanel, on social media? [01:10:47] Speaker D: On King Me Pod, Facebook. [01:10:51] Speaker B: Q, how can they find you on social media? [01:10:54] Speaker A: I don't know my Instagram name. [01:10:56] Speaker B: Okay. [01:10:57] Speaker A: I'm gonna send it to Yusef, and he'll be able to put it on the video because I don't know about her. I don't even know it by heart. [01:11:03] Speaker B: I got you. [01:11:04] Speaker A: I appreciate it. [01:11:05] Speaker B: Tj. How can they find your show as well as you on social media? [01:11:09] Speaker C: Find us at heal to feel. That's the number 2. H, e a l. The number 2. F e e l L L C. If you wanna follow my personal Instagram, it's thesobro. T H E E S O U L B R O. Same thing on YouTube, Facebook, all that good stuff. TikTok. Well, Toothpick Tommy on TikTok, I'm about [01:11:31] Speaker A: to say, yeah, that ain't your name on Toothpick. [01:11:33] Speaker B: I'm Toothpick Tommy. [01:11:34] Speaker C: So. All right, if you want, I ain't gonna put my Facebook out there. You know, people find you on Facebook. But Rafael, the way Chanel looked at me, I would say Rafael de la Ghetto. [01:11:45] Speaker B: Okay, cannons to the left of me. Cannons. [01:11:49] Speaker A: You already knew what it was. [01:11:50] Speaker C: How you knew what it was. [01:11:51] Speaker B: What? [01:11:52] Speaker C: How you knew what it was, Chanel, [01:11:54] Speaker D: you done been on the show before. [01:11:56] Speaker C: I never said my Facebook on the show, Chanel. [01:11:58] Speaker B: I followed you like that. [01:12:01] Speaker C: Okay, you want me to go pull [01:12:02] Speaker B: it up, Fresh Prince? [01:12:03] Speaker D: All right, well, Brandon tags you in the thing. [01:12:08] Speaker B: Thank y' all very much for being on. [01:12:10] Speaker A: Appreciate you for having us. [01:12:11] Speaker B: I really appreciate it. I really appreciate having y' all on. Once again, if you want to join the conversation. R E L S T A T podcast. Gmail.com. let me mute their mics because they. They don't know how. How to be there. Once again, shouts out to our. To our sponsors, eat my biscuits. 2881 Main Street, East Point, Atlanta, Georgia. See what everybody's talking about? Eat my biscuits. Visit them. Let them know relationship status sent you. Crux Media Group. Hit them up. Crux Media Group, LLC.com. that's CruxMedia Group LLC.com. they will get your podcast done right. Last but not least, go ahead and check out Sound Choices Fireworks, 321 Killian Road in Columbia and 281 Andover Drive in Darlington. Whether you're planning the backyard celebration or full fireworks show, Sound Choices Fireworks has everything you need to light up the night once again, man. Thank you to the King Me Pop for being non heel to Feel. Go ahead and check them out. Both shows are extremely dope. Q, T.J. and Chanel, thank you for being here and and and and being a part of the conversation. It's been fun, it's been real. It's your boy Yousef in the building and we are out. Peace.