227th Date: She Loves A Crackhead

[00:00:00] Speaker A: You do you have a podcast that you're passionate about? Are you looking for a professional studio to help bring your vision to life? Then look no further than Crux Media Group Studios. Located at nine three West Evans street in Florence, South Carolina, Crux Media Group Studios is a full service podcast studio that offers recording, editing, consultation, live streaming, video recording and more. We have state of the art equipment and a team of experienced professionals who can help you create a podcast that is professional, polished and engaging. Whether you're a first time podcaster or a seasoned pro, Crux Media Group Studios can help you take your podcast to the next level. Contact us today at 843-407-1673 to learn more about our services and to schedule a consultation. [00:01:07] Speaker B: Welcome back to relationship status. It's your boy Yusuf in the building. And remember, you can find us on all podcast platforms. Remember to, like, share, follow, and five star rate. And if you want to join the conversation, email us. Relstat [email protected] I have some special guests in the house today because Cl and Nick are out from the DJ Blaze radio show. It's my man. Be easy. [00:01:33] Speaker C: What's going on, b Lahaim? I do like Cl and come out with a saying or something. He used to do that? [00:01:39] Speaker B: Yeah, he used to do that for a little while. He would say hello in a different sock. [00:01:44] Speaker C: Passe ma Boule. [00:01:46] Speaker B: Okay. All right, a little bit. [00:01:49] Speaker C: Okay. [00:01:50] Speaker B: Grew up with the zoes and the. [00:01:57] Speaker C: Me. [00:01:58] Speaker B: It was a couple of them. I got a couple of them. And then from the intranet. Is it Johnny dang this week? [00:02:04] Speaker D: Johnny Dang. [00:02:05] Speaker B: Johnny dang this week. What's going on, Johnny? How you doing? [00:02:08] Speaker D: Hey. [00:02:08] Speaker B: She's a recurring guest. Every time she comes, it's a different name. [00:02:13] Speaker D: Thank you. [00:02:16] Speaker B: Every time she comes, she's somebody different. I got a question for you. You post about 30 times a day and you work really hard. I know you do. [00:02:26] Speaker D: It's scheduled. I'm not even on there. [00:02:28] Speaker B: Oh, you just schedule the stuff. You got to teach me how to do that. [00:02:32] Speaker D: Yeah, it's scheduled. I just go ahead and schedule them and out of there. [00:02:35] Speaker C: You should do that. You should get paid to do that. [00:02:38] Speaker D: I do. [00:02:39] Speaker B: Oh, you do? [00:02:40] Speaker C: I mean, for somebody else. [00:02:41] Speaker D: No, I don't do it for anybody else. [00:02:42] Speaker C: You only do it for yourself. [00:02:43] Speaker D: Yeah. I mean, nobody ever asks, are we. [00:02:46] Speaker B: Going to have a conversation when it's on? [00:02:47] Speaker D: Yeah, I just schedule them and I just know when to post. Like, I know when to post. Does that make sense? [00:02:53] Speaker C: You know how the algorithm works, right? [00:02:55] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. No, we need to have a conversation. As soon as we press stop on this, we need to have a conversation. Because I was like. Because probably about every 1530 minutes is a post up. I'll be like. And then the engagement is like, it's a bunch of comments. Because I comment every time. [00:03:11] Speaker D: Because you got to know when to post, when people are most active. It's like sometimes you won't see me for a while because I know people. [00:03:18] Speaker C: I was just about to say that. [00:03:19] Speaker D: Yeah, you won't see me for a minute. Ain't nobody going to be on there right now. Anybody on there? [00:03:24] Speaker C: People just commenting away? [00:03:26] Speaker D: Yeah. Anybody on there? [00:03:28] Speaker B: Really? But the Post that you're after church. [00:03:31] Speaker D: Everybody watch tv and scroll on the Internet. [00:03:35] Speaker B: Fat cats. Just scrolling, just scrolling. [00:03:37] Speaker D: Relax. [00:03:40] Speaker C: Sunday morning is the time where it. [00:03:42] Speaker D: Go off, though, that early Sunday. Yeah. [00:03:45] Speaker B: People have been out, especially a day. [00:03:47] Speaker D: Right now, like, it's storming. If you're going to move your demographic, like, to South Carolina for your audience, move your audience to South Carolina. [00:03:55] Speaker B: Oh, so you got to change the demographic. I didn't even move your audience to. [00:03:58] Speaker D: South Carolina right now. Everybody's on the Internet because we're not going nowhere. [00:04:03] Speaker B: Except us in the studio. [00:04:04] Speaker D: People down south are like. [00:04:09] Speaker B: That makes a whole lot. Yeah. We got to talk, b. How was your week, man? [00:04:16] Speaker C: Kind of rough week, you know what I'm saying? I don't want to dampen the mood, but got to send condolences to Kane from the Cannons able podcast. He lost his nephew. We recording on a. Can I say what day? Yeah, we recording on a. Sunday. [00:04:29] Speaker B: We recording on Sunday. [00:04:30] Speaker C: Lost his nephew. [00:04:32] Speaker B: Friday. [00:04:33] Speaker C: Saturday morning. [00:04:33] Speaker B: Saturday morning. [00:04:34] Speaker C: Yeah, early Saturday morning. So condolences to him and his family, definitely. [00:04:37] Speaker B: Yeah, it seemed like he's taking it a little. [00:04:42] Speaker C: Yeah, I talked to him yesterday, but, yeah. If you know Kane, you listen to his show or whatever, send him some love. If you know his family, send his family some love. [00:04:52] Speaker B: Yeah, definitely put some prayers up for him. Yeah. So it was a rough end to the week. What about you, India? How was your. [00:05:02] Speaker D: It's been laid back. I've been relaxing, staying out of the way, really. Like, I've really been honing in on a few goals and at home, that's about it. [00:05:13] Speaker B: See, what people don't know is me and India be getting after it with this Philadelphia Eagles thing. She always got going, and so they lost the other day. [00:05:25] Speaker C: You might just have to bow out, though. [00:05:27] Speaker B: Not yet. Not yet. Because we still got to play them twice. We still play them twice. So I don't got to bow out just yet, because if we beat them. [00:05:37] Speaker C: That'S a big if. [00:05:38] Speaker D: That's a big old if. [00:05:40] Speaker B: It's not as big. Our guys on a little winning streak right now. Pause. [00:05:46] Speaker C: We all on like a three game winning streak. [00:05:48] Speaker B: Three game winning streak right now. [00:05:49] Speaker C: Wonderful. [00:05:49] Speaker D: Proud of y'all. [00:05:50] Speaker B: Yeah, I know. [00:05:52] Speaker C: Are you all in the playoff hunt? [00:05:54] Speaker B: I think if we win this week, we got a shot. If we win this, think because all the other, like the south is foreign, whatever. The winner out of that gotta have a losing record. The only people in our division, really, and then out west, but everybody out west is San Francisco, and then nobody else in that just. [00:06:17] Speaker C: You think you got a chance? [00:06:18] Speaker B: Yeah, I think. Don't we play the Eagles today? No, we play the Saints today, Eagles next week. So we get through the Saints going to keep on marching. See? We're going to see. But the back and forth is always fun for me. It's always, I'm going to block you. I'd be like, don't block me. But I was scrolling the Internet the other day and I came across a video because, and I thought it was relevant with the way people are treating what they would like to call a lot of sassy men, and they're trying to figure out what the cause is behind men having a good bit of sassiness to it, to them. Got to silence that. So here was a clip. [00:07:12] Speaker E: It's statistically a fact, single mothers, we produce the worst product, right. Part of that, when we talk about males, especially black males, we don't realize that we're programmed, because if you don't understand history, you won't realize that it starts with the female. Even when we were slaves, the idea is if you program the mind of the female slave, she will raise the offspring to continue your agenda without you having to be physically involved. She will teach her children to abide, because we're the first givers of life and care when kids are small. So we train them up to be good slaves, follow these particular rules, indoctrinate and create certain philosophies in their mind. So by the time they're big and strong, they still following behind the same agenda that was placed into us. So when you look at males that come from single mother headed households, if you don't get around positive male role models, you have the emotional management skills. [00:08:05] Speaker B: Of a woman as a single mom. India, what are your initial thoughts? [00:08:12] Speaker D: I'm about to get called to pick me. Right, I agree. [00:08:16] Speaker C: Okay, I agree. [00:08:18] Speaker B: What makes you agree to that I'm raising boys. [00:08:22] Speaker D: And the first thing that comes to my mind is, honestly, I can't teach them how to be men. I can only show them how to be good people and raise them and keep them on track for the most part. You get what I'm saying? To show them how to be a man and navigate this world. I can't do that. So I do have people in place for my boys. I have good friends, good family members, decent role models in place that then I make sure that are there for them. [00:08:48] Speaker B: Okay. [00:08:49] Speaker D: I don't think that's outside of my range. That makes sense. [00:08:53] Speaker B: Yeah, I get it. To me. I don't know how much I agree unless you're talking about the time we're. [00:09:04] Speaker D: In now, the time that we're in. [00:09:06] Speaker B: Because my mom, I think my mom and even my grandmother, because I didn't really have a lot of male influence, I think they did a pretty good job of raising me to a particular standard without having a lot of positive males around me. But b, what's your thoughts on that? [00:09:26] Speaker C: Well, first of all, I'm really not qualified to talk about it because I grew up with a father in my house and you know what I'm saying? My dad and my stepdad or whatever, I had two father figures and I had uncles and all that. So I had them positive male role models. So my mother wasn't a single mother. But I don't think you. [00:09:56] Speaker B: Johnny. Johnny Dane. [00:09:56] Speaker C: Johnny. [00:09:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:09:58] Speaker C: You kind of answered your own question, or kind of, what's the word I'm looking for? Contradicted what you said because you said you don't think you could do it. All you can do is raise a decent person. [00:10:09] Speaker D: I can raise decent people, yes. Teachings of being a man, like, well. [00:10:13] Speaker C: Whether you're a man or a woman, if you're a decent person, you're a decent person. [00:10:16] Speaker D: Right. [00:10:17] Speaker C: You know what I'm saying? [00:10:17] Speaker D: Specific handlings of the emotions of a man. Well, I mean, emotions, that's where other men come in. [00:10:23] Speaker C: To me, emotions are emotions. You handle them like a decent human being. [00:10:26] Speaker D: Like a decent human being. I don't have the same experience that a man would have, though. [00:10:31] Speaker C: Yeah, but your experience, as far as just a person is different from the next person. So if you teach your kids to treat everybody with empathy, those are basic life. [00:10:42] Speaker D: Yeah, those are basic life teachings. [00:10:44] Speaker C: Now, when it comes to things like quote unquote man jobs. Like what? Traditional man jobs, like cutting grass and things like that, you might not be able to do it because you didn't do it growing up as a woman, but it doesn't mean that a man can teach him that, too. Like, if you did do those things growing up, you can teach him that. [00:11:09] Speaker D: I did do those things so you. [00:11:10] Speaker C: Could teach your son. [00:11:11] Speaker D: But the world reacts to you all differently than they do to me. [00:11:14] Speaker B: And that's. That is a good point. That is a point. I guess, in that moment, only a man could teach a young man how to deal with those reactions from society. I guess that's the point she's trying to make here. [00:11:31] Speaker C: I get it. But a little deeper. Like, the way he will react to things or the way people will see him is different than people will see me. So you could go male. You can break it down. [00:11:40] Speaker D: There's so many different ways to look at it. [00:11:42] Speaker C: Like, I got my younger cousin. I don't want to say my little cousin, my younger cousin. [00:11:45] Speaker D: That doesn't mean I don't think that single moms do a good job. I'm not taking away from that. [00:11:48] Speaker C: Yeah, but that's what she said. [00:11:51] Speaker B: That's the premise. [00:11:52] Speaker C: I think the first thing she said was, we all know single mothers do a horrible job. [00:11:58] Speaker B: They produce the worst product. [00:12:00] Speaker C: That's what she said. [00:12:01] Speaker D: Product based on whatever statistical statistics that she's reading. [00:12:04] Speaker C: But. [00:12:07] Speaker B: You can bend statistics to whatever you. [00:12:10] Speaker D: To an area, to a certain demographic. [00:12:12] Speaker C: Or you could use some kind of examples of millionaires and successful people that. You know what I'm saying? If she were to say, like, it's harder for a woman to raise a single person, I mean, raise a kid single, but that's hard for a man, too. I had a cousin who raises his kids single. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? So it's hard for either one. [00:12:37] Speaker B: It's difficult no matter what it is, because we only get one shot at it. And without a balance of another parent there, period, your kids are going to be raised to whatever you believe is right without any outside influence. I think I'm lucky, in a sense, to have my kid's mom be very active in their life. And so we bounce stuff off each other, but it's a phone call. It's not like in the moment. If I can't get her at that moment and be like, okay, this is what I want to do. It's like, I just got to go ahead and make these decisions, right? If I have the boys, I say about 80% of the time. And if decisions have to be made in the moment, whether it's disciplinary or this girl in Amir's robotics class was getting on him one day, because he does miss robotics practice every now and then, because he has to go to Atlanta to spend the weekend with his mom, so he'll miss the Saturday sessions. So the girl says to him, are you even going to show up to the competition? And he was like. He said he was going to tell her something, but I know what you said, dad. Don't curse no woman out. And I said, yes. Okay. Sometimes. I wanted to say, sometimes they deserve it, but we good? Okay. So, when we get to the robotics thing yesterday, she lights up like a tree when she sees him and runs over to him. You came. And the whole day is following him around. And so what I told him is, you do know what this is? She likes you. And when you don't show up, she's. [00:14:20] Speaker C: Disappointed, or she got a point. [00:14:24] Speaker B: You missed Saturday. [00:14:27] Speaker C: It's on a Saturday. It's valid. Shout out to her. I saw the picture. Shout out to the young snowflake. [00:14:33] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:14:38] Speaker C: I saw the robotics pitches. Shout out to them. Sorry. [00:14:41] Speaker B: And it was the tall one with the glasses. [00:14:43] Speaker C: Okay. [00:14:43] Speaker B: That's the one. [00:14:45] Speaker C: She was smiling on the side that he was on. [00:14:49] Speaker B: And every time he around, she looked. So in those moments is like, little moments for him to learn how to deal with young ladies and stuff like that. So, if it's just me on that day, I'm going to have a certain type of conversation with him, where his mom would have a different conversation with him on how to deal with the subject, on how to deal with it. So, I don't know. For her to say. I think for the thing I really disagree with, what she said was the fact that a single mom just produces the worst product, period. [00:15:21] Speaker D: I don't agree with that, because there. [00:15:23] Speaker B: Are single parents, there's single dads that create bad products. [00:15:26] Speaker D: There are two parent households that have horrible children. [00:15:28] Speaker B: There's two parent households, horrible kids. I know. I think we sometimes get caught up in the numbers or statistics of things, and allow those things and our own personal experiences to dictate what we think and how we make opinions. And then they put a microphone in front of you and you go viral, because we're talking about you at this. Just. I don't know. I find that very interesting, especially with you being on today, Johnny, and just me being a single parent, and just. It's a lot of single parents out there. It's just what. [00:16:08] Speaker D: It's just do what works for you and your family. [00:16:12] Speaker B: That's what you do. [00:16:13] Speaker D: You hone into your children. You get to know your children. It's really not that hard. Just get to know your kids. [00:16:22] Speaker C: Apparently it is hard. [00:16:23] Speaker D: Spend time with your children. Get to know your children. [00:16:25] Speaker C: What works for you and your family. You expect these people to spend time with their kids? [00:16:28] Speaker D: Yeah. Like stay at home sometimes. [00:16:30] Speaker C: Stay at home, yes. Not shifting with your kids. [00:16:35] Speaker D: That's really what it boils down to. [00:16:36] Speaker B: But a lot of people not trying to do that. Yeah, spend time. [00:16:40] Speaker D: These conversations could easily just be ended just like that. Do what works for you and yours. [00:16:46] Speaker C: What if what works for them is sending them to their grandma house? [00:16:49] Speaker D: That ain't working for the kids. That's working for their minds, honey. That ain't working for them kids. Them kids is bad because grandma is. [00:16:59] Speaker B: Going to just be like, all right, y'all, don't make too much noise. [00:17:01] Speaker D: Just don't burn my house. [00:17:02] Speaker B: Yeah, don't burn my house down. [00:17:03] Speaker D: That's it. And your mama better be had seven to get you. [00:17:07] Speaker B: The friend of mine, I said you was okay with this. She says she woke up and her daughter had made, daughter's like six. It was a mess in the kitchen and had them made eggs and grits and bacon and went and sat down and ate. [00:17:24] Speaker C: Was it good? [00:17:26] Speaker B: Well, just made for herself. The six year old just made enough for her. [00:17:30] Speaker C: But six. [00:17:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:31] Speaker D: She did it all though. [00:17:33] Speaker B: Yeah, did it all. [00:17:33] Speaker C: But she didn't clean up. [00:17:34] Speaker B: Didn't clean up. And my thing is my son loves to, he's ten and he loves to cook, but I have to be awake and I have to be supervising because I don't want it to be a situation where I wake up to a fire or he burns himself or to me, that was a little bit, I wouldn't call it negligent, but I would have had something to say to my son if I would have woke up and he would have cooked without me. [00:18:02] Speaker C: Being I'm qualified for okay, because I was a latchkey kid. So from eight on I was cooking okay at ten. And I know your son at ten, I think he can cook on his own. You could be sleep, you might wake up to breakfast in bed one day, you never know. [00:18:17] Speaker B: That could be true. [00:18:18] Speaker C: I'm advocating for him and his cooking. [00:18:21] Speaker B: But six. [00:18:24] Speaker C: I couldn't use a microwave at six. [00:18:28] Speaker B: That was it to me. I can't tell her what to do in her house, right. But for me, I know I'd have been uncomfortable and I'd have had to have talk. Good job. But next time wake me up. Even if I'm just up. I don't have to be in the kitchen with you if I'm just up in case something happens. [00:18:46] Speaker D: But at six I would probably freak out too, though. [00:18:48] Speaker B: At six? [00:18:49] Speaker C: Yeah, six is too early. [00:18:51] Speaker D: I lose it. [00:18:52] Speaker B: But my thing, that just means that this is something the child has done before. [00:18:56] Speaker D: Yeah, but to be at six. [00:18:58] Speaker C: At six, I feel like at a six year old, if the house started catching no fire, they would just run out of the house and you would die. But at ten the child will come and get you. [00:19:08] Speaker B: At least come? [00:19:08] Speaker C: Yeah, they come and get you. They would see the child on the news running down the street, you know what I'm saying? They would find the house and they'd be like, where's the kid? The kid is safe. The kid is safe and sound. [00:19:24] Speaker B: But the house is the house. The mama dead burnt. [00:19:30] Speaker C: Your son. Dad is too much smoke. You know what I'm saying? [00:19:33] Speaker D: Oh my God. [00:19:34] Speaker B: Do I have to open the door? Oh no, we got to put the fire out. [00:19:37] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:19:46] Speaker B: How old is Amy? [00:19:47] Speaker C: He cooks it. How old is 14? [00:19:49] Speaker B: That's the one that cooks? Yeah, I'd be comfortable with that. And he seems to be a good cook too. [00:19:55] Speaker C: Yeah, he'd be making stuff like this. [00:19:56] Speaker B: Thing made bachelor Vaughn. [00:19:58] Speaker C: I mean. Oh lord, I said this the wrong show. [00:20:02] Speaker B: I'll put a beebo on it. [00:20:06] Speaker C: Yeah, he really is a good cook. [00:20:07] Speaker B: But go ahead. Would you say b. Oh, I was. [00:20:11] Speaker C: Going to say maybe the six year old is more advanced than most six year olds. [00:20:15] Speaker B: Could be, could be. I don't know, maybe she's just negligent. [00:20:19] Speaker C: But anyway, you could. [00:20:21] Speaker D: How she heard that she was out too late. [00:20:25] Speaker B: Party could be at six. [00:20:27] Speaker D: She making some noise. [00:20:30] Speaker B: The pots and pans is clanging noise. [00:20:32] Speaker D: She's a little thing. [00:20:33] Speaker B: Grits, eggs and bacon. And the bacon is the. I think the bacon is the thing that scared me the most. Baby girl can duck because that thing, that thing. [00:20:41] Speaker C: How can she touch the stove? [00:20:43] Speaker D: She pulling out chairs probably. [00:20:45] Speaker C: That girl lying. [00:20:46] Speaker B: You think she lying? [00:20:47] Speaker D: Somebody lying or she negligent. [00:20:50] Speaker C: This makes no sense. A six year old got. [00:20:52] Speaker B: She says six. Well she has a six year old. She said her daughter to turn on. [00:20:55] Speaker C: The stove she would have to stand on the chair or stool or something. [00:21:00] Speaker B: Yeah, they just push the stool up to the. Oh, trust me. When Edison want his snacks out the top of the closet. [00:21:06] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:21:08] Speaker B: The chair is up against as far close he can get it. And he gets on his tippy toes and then reaches over the shelf. [00:21:15] Speaker C: Yeah, but he's not turning on eyes, and then it's not popping. And like you said, with the bacon and all. I don't believe her. She need more people. I need proof. [00:21:23] Speaker B: All right. [00:21:24] Speaker C: She listens. [00:21:26] Speaker B: No, oddly enough, no, she doesn't listen. [00:21:30] Speaker C: Well, center this clip, man. You're a liar. [00:21:36] Speaker B: Go get it to this advice. It says, hey, nick, cl and youssef. Sorry for the long ramble, but I'm sure. Not sure how to put it. I have been in a relationship with my partner for around three months, and things are going really great. Unfortunately, my partner's ex boyfriend died suddenly a few weeks ago, and she had known him for most of her life. Her family and friends was like her family was friends with his family and so on. So basically, there was a lot of connection there. Although they were only together for a few months, she left him due to his addictions. She had been affected in a big way. The day after my birthday, she told me that she needed some space. I was totally fine with this, as I knew she was still processing her loss. The funeral was three days after my birthday. Her ex's parents blame her for his death, his complications from his addictions. Even though she tried extremely hard to get him help, get him cleaned up, she has received multiple phone calls and texts from them with blame and obscenities towards her. Fast forward. Just a week later, we started back to getting back to normal, but she. Soon after. Unfortunately, a few days after we went out for dinner, I got a text saying that being in a relationship with anybody right now is not possible for me. I do really like her, and I feel confident to say that we have a connection. She had told me on my birthday that she did very much like me, that she was serious about me, and that she's lucky to have me in her life. I just don't know if this is really the end or if she needs more space and time to heal up than I originally expected. I don't want to overstep, smother her or not be there for her, if it makes any sense. Please help. Who wants to start? [00:23:28] Speaker C: So the woman that he's with was in love with a crackhead. [00:23:36] Speaker D: That's what I'm on. She was in love with a drug. [00:23:39] Speaker C: Like, how would you feel knowing that this person was so deeply in love with a crackhead? [00:23:45] Speaker D: Right. [00:23:46] Speaker B: How would you feel about the first question? [00:23:48] Speaker C: Yeah, like, you chose me. I mean, I'm a step up, and you can't even be with me. You was with a crackhead, dope fiend, whatever. [00:23:56] Speaker B: But he died. And so she's. [00:23:58] Speaker D: But what you thought he was going to do, you know, he was either going to get off or he wasn't. [00:24:05] Speaker C: Not a crackhead. Probably a myth. Probably myth. They died. Probably fentanyl or something. [00:24:10] Speaker B: Then the families are close and they blaming her. And then they blaming her. [00:24:15] Speaker C: He should thank her. [00:24:16] Speaker D: But is she on it? But is she on it? [00:24:21] Speaker B: He doesn't say. [00:24:22] Speaker C: Yeah, he don't say. [00:24:23] Speaker B: Well, no, he says that she tried to help him get clean. So my assumption would be you can't not own it. She's not on it. You can't help somebody get clean if you ain't clean. [00:24:32] Speaker C: I would count your losses. I mean, you all own it together. He said a few months. [00:24:35] Speaker B: A few months. So you think you should just. [00:24:37] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [00:24:38] Speaker D: Leave her alone. [00:24:39] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [00:24:39] Speaker D: Why was she with a crackhead? Like, did he end up. I don't know. I want to know. Was he already on it when she met him? [00:24:46] Speaker B: Yeah, what she said. Yeah, it says they broke up because of his addictions. Okay, so she left him due to the fact that he was addicted. My question is, do you think that she deserves some grace being that she's known this guy for so long? Although it is her ex, but it says that their families are close, so they've known each other all their lives and then he died. So possibly friends who ended up getting a relationship didn't work, stayed friends or whatever. So is she afforded some type of grace by him? [00:25:22] Speaker D: And this is recent, right? [00:25:23] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:25:24] Speaker D: Okay. [00:25:27] Speaker C: I mean, somebody tell me they need time and space. I'm going to throw them a calendar in the watch. Take all the time and space you need, but you ain't coming back here. [00:25:36] Speaker D: But don't expect me to wait on you. Yeah, I'm going to keep going. [00:25:40] Speaker C: What kind of grace does she deserve? [00:25:43] Speaker B: I see her point of viewing in her grief process of a friend. [00:25:48] Speaker C: She said they were only together for a little while. [00:25:52] Speaker B: Yeah, no, I get that. [00:25:53] Speaker C: What would you say they might have been friends? [00:25:55] Speaker B: It says that their families have known. [00:25:57] Speaker D: Each other all their lives or something. [00:25:59] Speaker B: Yeah, she'd known him for most of her life. Her family was friends with his family. [00:26:06] Speaker C: No, I don't care. I don't care. [00:26:08] Speaker B: Personally, I don't care. [00:26:10] Speaker D: I feel like if she's that hung up about it, she shouldn't even be dating anybody, for one. [00:26:15] Speaker B: Well, that's what she told him to us. And she's like, I don't think I'm in a place where. [00:26:19] Speaker D: But to tell him that you're serious. About him in the same breath. [00:26:23] Speaker B: What, that, too? [00:26:24] Speaker D: Yeah. So what are you doing? [00:26:26] Speaker B: Confusing him. [00:26:27] Speaker D: You're confusing the hell out of this, man. Wait, hold on. Can I cuss? [00:26:31] Speaker B: You can say hell. [00:26:32] Speaker C: Not the bad word. [00:26:33] Speaker B: F bomb is just the one that's outlawed, okay? [00:26:36] Speaker D: Yeah, you confuse me. Hell out of this, man. Like, either you want to do this or you don't. But if I were him. You already doing too much, sweetheart. You got to go. That's too much. [00:26:46] Speaker C: Block her on everything, too. [00:26:48] Speaker B: And block her. [00:26:49] Speaker D: Yeah, don't even deal with it. If she needs some space, baby, give her her space. [00:26:53] Speaker C: Because you might see her post a picture. Now you want to slide in her. [00:26:55] Speaker D: Dms and say, hey, you okay? She didn't hit that empathy car with you. [00:27:00] Speaker C: Now I want to see how you're. [00:27:02] Speaker B: Doing because she going to come back. [00:27:03] Speaker D: I'm going to check on you, and she going to keep being in and out. Now, she don't set that tone. [00:27:08] Speaker C: She in and out because she said after he died, they kind of broke a little bit. And then she came back. [00:27:14] Speaker B: She came back, we're good. [00:27:16] Speaker D: And then left again. [00:27:17] Speaker B: And then right after the dinner, she texted tone already. [00:27:21] Speaker D: That's what she about to do. [00:27:22] Speaker C: Can you get other women? Maybe he's ugly and she's the best. [00:27:26] Speaker B: And that she probably be the best. [00:27:27] Speaker D: Or maybe he's the friend that's been waiting because I don't understand his demographic right here. Honey. [00:27:31] Speaker B: Do you think people do that a lot? [00:27:34] Speaker D: Keep somebody. [00:27:36] Speaker B: Keeping somebody? Like giving them just enough breadcrumbs to keep them. [00:27:39] Speaker D: Keep them stronger? [00:27:40] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [00:27:40] Speaker B: Keep them around like that. [00:27:42] Speaker D: Move around. [00:27:43] Speaker C: They attacks every now and then just to keep you, to give you that little hope. [00:27:48] Speaker D: Thinking about you, hon. No way. Yeah, but he tell her. Tell that girl to go to hell. Go to hell. [00:27:59] Speaker B: Straight to hell. [00:28:00] Speaker D: What y'all say? Know your worth, King. [00:28:02] Speaker C: Go to hell with that crack. You and adult king. All right, well, because he ain't went to heaven. I'm sorry, go ahead. [00:28:17] Speaker B: Our question of the day from last week. Kind of piggybacks on that. A woman breaks up with a man, and when he asks why? Well, no, it doesn't piggyback. I'm sorry, bad segue. A woman breaks up with a man, and when he asks why, she says that she met someone better. Is that ever a valid reason to leave a relationship? [00:28:36] Speaker C: What did I say? I think I commented on that. [00:28:38] Speaker B: You did? [00:28:39] Speaker C: Did I say? [00:28:40] Speaker B: Yeah, that's exactly what you said. You, Doc and Malcolm had the same response. [00:28:48] Speaker C: I wonder why. [00:28:49] Speaker B: Yep. That was it actually, Malcolm's was a little different. His was? Sure. People. Why not? Indeed, yes. [00:29:00] Speaker C: Somebody to tell you that they found somebody better. They trying to hurt you. [00:29:04] Speaker B: Yeah, but is that a valid reason? I don't know if that's a valid reason to leave. [00:29:09] Speaker C: I found somebody better. [00:29:11] Speaker D: It's a reason to leave. But that's really messed up. [00:29:13] Speaker B: And that means you've been cheating. [00:29:14] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:29:14] Speaker C: No, not necessarily. [00:29:18] Speaker B: If you're leaving me for a better person, then you know this person to be better, let's say in relationship land. [00:29:25] Speaker C: Let's say the guy is 511, right? The guy's 511. He drives a 2019 Cadillac Escalade. He lives in a 1500 square foot house that he's buying. Average size, below the waist, above average weight. Right. She meets a guy, he's 63. He drives a 2023 escalade, a 2500 square foot house, and he's above average, below the waist. And only reason she knows is because she saw his pictures on Instagram. On paper. [00:30:03] Speaker B: He's better on paper. On paper. [00:30:08] Speaker C: You don't got to cheat to know that. At least them four attributes right there is better. [00:30:13] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:30:14] Speaker C: And he got straight teeth. The other dude need braces. [00:30:16] Speaker B: But in relationship land, you don't know if that's better. [00:30:21] Speaker C: You can leave in life potential. That's better, though. Better for pleasure, for her. Is she like him? Girthy? They might look better together in pictures. In her mind, a newer vehicle mean he might have better credit and a bigger house. I mean, he might have more income. So that's a little more security. That's just on paper now. You don't know. [00:30:44] Speaker B: But see, that's the thing. We don't know. So if you don't know, that means you had to find out. You don't know if he's girthy until you find out. [00:30:57] Speaker C: No, I'm saying she saw the pictures on social media. That's my guess. [00:31:00] Speaker D: You know, he went off social media and said, like, okay, just for that. [00:31:05] Speaker C: Just for that. [00:31:06] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:31:07] Speaker B: My thing is you had to find out that this person is better in all aspects because how are you even having a conversation with this person? To even be thinking about them in a relationship type of deal, to even believe that this is a better situation for you unless you did some form. [00:31:23] Speaker D: Right? [00:31:24] Speaker C: Now, when you say some form of. [00:31:25] Speaker B: Cheating, some form of cheating, what do you mean? I think having a conversation is cheating. [00:31:33] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:31:34] Speaker C: If you believe having a conversation is cheating, then maybe she did cheat. But I'm talking about. Well, I was meaning like, sexual physics. [00:31:41] Speaker B: Physically, no, physically, I don't think a person has to not leaving for the person physically, because I think if you're leaving a relationship, I think physical can be a part of it. You're not satisfied. Okay, fine. But how do you know you're going to be satisfied over here? [00:31:55] Speaker D: You don't. Unless you tried it or you just take my points and some emotional cheating has to happen for you to think. [00:32:03] Speaker B: That for you to say this person. [00:32:05] Speaker D: Is better than you. [00:32:07] Speaker C: What if the other person is just straight trash? [00:32:10] Speaker B: The other person can be straight trash. [00:32:12] Speaker C: Because for somebody to tell you that, you would have to be a horrible person because they would want to hurt your feelings. [00:32:17] Speaker D: They want to hurt your feelings. They do want to hurt you, though. Because who would just come out and say, I found somebody better than you. [00:32:21] Speaker C: And I'm out because they could just say, I found somebody else. [00:32:24] Speaker D: Right. I found somebody else. But I think any reason that's your own reason, if it's your reason, is a valid reason because it's yours. You know what I mean? [00:32:33] Speaker C: Marcus quit that woman because she had bad feet. [00:32:37] Speaker B: He didn't like her feet. It's not like he left her for somebody else. He left that situation. [00:32:44] Speaker C: Yeah, true. [00:32:45] Speaker B: Because of her feet. I think the point there is for someone else. So that's why I think. I don't think it's a valid reason. [00:32:51] Speaker D: Yeah, I mean, I think if it's yours, it's yours. Your reason is valid. If you're leaving somebody because you don't like the way they chew, why you. [00:32:58] Speaker C: Hold your phone in your right hand? [00:33:02] Speaker B: Because I'm right handed. [00:33:03] Speaker C: That's not a valid reason. [00:33:06] Speaker D: They don't make sense because it's yours. Your reason is your reason. It might not be agreeable with everybody else, but I might not like the way you chew. It's a rap. I got to go. [00:33:17] Speaker C: What did the person think? They were going to probably get a peanut gallery of people of saying, yes, she's wrong, she's wrong. [00:33:24] Speaker B: That's the thing. The thing here is nobody said every single, that's you. [00:33:29] Speaker D: I'm not saying the grass is going to be greener. That's a good decision that you're making, but it's yours. So, yeah, it's just a good reason. It's your reason. [00:33:37] Speaker C: This guy was probably greener. Probably raised by a single mother who don't know how to handle emotion. [00:33:43] Speaker B: Good callback. [00:33:45] Speaker C: I've been doing this for twelve years. [00:33:48] Speaker B: Got some comments here. One, Casey, I'm a Capricorn. Yes. Anytime you don't want to be in a relationship with someone is a valid reason. People try to force things too much. That's how you end up in a relationship, unhappy, unloved, et cetera. Let's accept it and move on so we can meet who we align with. [00:34:08] Speaker C: Align with. Shut up. [00:34:10] Speaker D: That's too deep, ain't it? [00:34:12] Speaker C: That's too goofy. It's aligned with nobody. It just happens. [00:34:15] Speaker B: It just happens. [00:34:16] Speaker C: I got a question for you all, though. So in the relationship thing, before that person left or whatever and went for somebody else, obviously they lost the little flame they had. Have you all two ever been in a relationship and where somebody was hot and heavy or whatever, and then you all kind of lost it and wanted to leave, but then some kind of way, you all got it back? You all ever had that? [00:34:40] Speaker B: No, I've never been in a situation where we got it back, because I think once it's lost, it's happened to me. In one relationship where it was lost, we just didn't put the fight in to get it back. I think both people have to fight to put it back to get it back in. And so if you don't fight to get back to that, where it's hot and heavy and what's it called, the passion and everything for the relationship and each other is there, that takes two people, right? And if one person is out and they just done. Then with my kid's mom, she had postpartum, and she never recovered, and then our relationship suffered. [00:35:33] Speaker C: Allegedly. Alleged person. It's not a real person. [00:35:36] Speaker B: Okay. But I guess we know we could say it's real because we talked about it. [00:35:42] Speaker C: Me and her had a. Oh, yeah. [00:35:43] Speaker B: We had an episode on this podcast. It was just me and her discussing our breakup. [00:35:47] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. [00:35:49] Speaker B: You turned that off. [00:35:50] Speaker C: Turn it off in my mind. [00:35:50] Speaker B: Okay. All right. That didn't happen. [00:35:53] Speaker C: What about you? You never got it back? [00:35:56] Speaker D: No. I will say this. I will try. And if I don't feel like there's a mutual effort, it don't take me long either, sweetheart. Once I feel like it's not a mutual effort. [00:36:06] Speaker C: But what? I mean, like, if you all lost that feeling and, you know, they wanted you, but you just didn't want them, and then you tried to get it back in it. You know what I'm saying? [00:36:14] Speaker B: Oh, if you didn't want them, yeah. There's no getting that back if I didn't want you. [00:36:19] Speaker D: Listen, I know if you're watching, you all know me, sweetheart, I will let you know quickly. Like, this ain't it? [00:36:28] Speaker C: What if they tried to switch it up and get better? [00:36:31] Speaker D: They ain't got nothing to do with me. [00:36:34] Speaker B: You making yourself better for the next person. [00:36:36] Speaker D: Yeah, just do that for the next individual. Because it is me, baby. [00:36:40] Speaker B: Because if that's the case and I'm out, me personally, I'm a person where, like, if I'm out for a reason, I'm going to treat you in a way where you're going to break up with me, I'm going to treat you like a jar. [00:36:52] Speaker C: So that lady was right. [00:36:54] Speaker B: Yes. [00:36:55] Speaker C: Single mothers raise horrible people. [00:36:58] Speaker B: I just have a problem break. I just can't go, hey, it's done. I ain't going to have time. My demeanor towards you is going to shift. [00:37:08] Speaker C: You're going to treat it like boo boo. [00:37:09] Speaker B: No, I'm not going to treat her like boo boo. It's just little subtleties. Little subtle things. Then she's going to get unhappy and then she's going to. [00:37:16] Speaker C: Wow. You know what? You proved that. You proven that lady right. Because single women can't raise an emotional, stable man. [00:37:25] Speaker B: No, emotionally, I'm stable. [00:37:28] Speaker C: I don't want to emotionally manipulate the woman. [00:37:31] Speaker B: No. [00:37:32] Speaker C: Wow. [00:37:33] Speaker B: See, like, I can't do the tears. [00:37:34] Speaker C: And Cl is here. [00:37:39] Speaker B: I just get the tears. But wise, I think I broke up with somebody like early on and I was like, I can't deal with this. [00:37:48] Speaker C: Why not? It was too much emotionally. [00:37:51] Speaker D: No, get it over with quick. Not get it over with quick. [00:37:54] Speaker B: Bow, I need death. Thousand cuts. [00:37:59] Speaker D: I cut you out fast. [00:38:01] Speaker B: She's like, she's talking to somebody directly. [00:38:04] Speaker D: If you're out there, I know you're watching. I cut you off fast. It's a few of you all. You might want to fight me. I don't care, though. [00:38:12] Speaker B: Okay. [00:38:12] Speaker C: Amy, your bushes with a hat low like Joe. [00:38:15] Speaker D: No, but seriously, though, I just feel like once it's dead because for me, I know I tried once. I'm done with like, I know I put in an honest effort. I'm going to meet you halfway. So I put in my effort and ain't being reciprocated. Okay. Going to take my reciprocation back and we going to book it, baby. [00:38:38] Speaker C: Wow. Poor soul. I feel sorry for them. [00:38:41] Speaker B: Go finish up these comments. Yes. If he wasn't being a man she needed him to be and found one that would. [00:38:50] Speaker D: That didn't mean that girl. That just means she found somebody else. [00:38:53] Speaker C: Somebody built. [00:38:56] Speaker B: Yes. When a situation or person no longer service your needs, you have the right to exit. [00:39:02] Speaker D: That don't mean that either. [00:39:04] Speaker B: They don't service his needs. Her needs. [00:39:06] Speaker D: Yeah. That just means girl. I see when people do stuff like that. Baby, you just found something that was better than what I was giving you. That didn't mean your needs weren't being met. That just means you wanted more. [00:39:15] Speaker B: Okay, yes. No one is obligated to stay with someone that doesn't fulfill them. That's what dating is for. [00:39:21] Speaker D: That's true, too. [00:39:22] Speaker B: Malaya Kane tapped in. Yes, it's valid. And I want to know what makes him better. Lol. [00:39:29] Speaker D: Would you want to know, though, what made that person. [00:39:32] Speaker B: No. [00:39:32] Speaker D: If they said they found somebody better than you, would you want to know what made them better? Would you ask, like, what makes them better than me? [00:39:39] Speaker C: I wouldn't ask, but I'd probably find out what he. I wouldn't want to know. I'll just go ahead and cut off all communications because I might see his page to see pictures of them together. He might be taller, more handsome. He might have hair. [00:39:53] Speaker B: He got waves. He got waves? Yeah. This dude got waves. He can dunk. Yeah. No, I don't want to know, and I just can't know. I wouldn't want to at all. Ibn said it's valid, but it's stupid. It's just another d. More trauma, more arguments, because she seems to be looking for better, and that's how she found better, if you ask me. She cheated on him, and so, yes, it's valid. That comment was all over the place. [00:40:34] Speaker C: He put a whole bunch. [00:40:40] Speaker B: Did she break up and find another man or did she find another man before the breakup? [00:40:44] Speaker C: It don't matter. He gone. [00:40:45] Speaker B: He gone. Yeah. Grant from the vorgasmic vibes podcast. Absolutely. Because a satisfied woman who feels loved, cared for, protected and secured isn't out there meeting new people. [00:40:58] Speaker D: I'm going to tell you she untouchable. I'm going to tell you that. [00:41:02] Speaker B: 100% valid point. Nulani? Yes. She wasn't satisfied. And there's nothing wrong with letting people go. The problem is that people hold on to people too long. You agree with that one, B. She said the problem is that people hold on to people too long. [00:41:21] Speaker D: Yeah. Some people are meant to be with you that long. [00:41:24] Speaker C: Meant to be? [00:41:26] Speaker D: Yeah. We come in contact with people and we automatically think that we're supposed to have, like, an intimate connection with these people. I do, but that's not the case. You get what I'm saying? [00:41:38] Speaker C: But I don't believe in. [00:41:39] Speaker D: You might be drawn to people. You get what I'm saying? [00:41:42] Speaker C: I don't believe in supposed to be. [00:41:44] Speaker D: Like an intimate thing, you could be drawn to them because you all meant to be good friends. You get what I'm saying? I think that's where we get our stuff all twisted up at, because sometimes you look back at it and like, we could have just been friends versus in what we did. [00:42:01] Speaker B: That's a valid point. [00:42:02] Speaker D: You get what I'm saying? [00:42:03] Speaker C: It sounds good, but that ain't my belief system, though. [00:42:06] Speaker D: That ain't your belief system? [00:42:07] Speaker C: No. [00:42:08] Speaker D: Everybody you meet to be a romantic partner, that just is what it is. [00:42:15] Speaker B: What's your belief system be? [00:42:16] Speaker C: I don't believe in meant to be. Like, you just make this stuff happen. [00:42:21] Speaker B: I'm more of that. If you meet a person and you're attracted to them in whatever way, form or fashion, and you build something, I don't know if it was some divine power that said, hey, this is who you're meant to work together. Yes. [00:42:34] Speaker C: You all wasn't supposed to have sex. He was just supposed to make money. I don't believe that. [00:42:39] Speaker D: So I do agree with that. We hold on to people because I think they're in our lives for the wrong reasons, and they weren't in our life for that reason. They weren't. They were in our life maybe to build us up or to be reflection of ourselves sometimes in that moment. [00:42:54] Speaker C: So you mean like in the letter? [00:42:58] Speaker B: In that vice letter. [00:42:59] Speaker C: Vice letter. That's what you're saying? [00:43:02] Speaker D: She just said that we hold on to people too long, and I said that I agree. [00:43:04] Speaker B: What are we saying? Like, relating it back to the. [00:43:08] Speaker D: Relating to the letter. Like, we hold on to people. [00:43:09] Speaker C: So what was the reason that she was in his life? To break his heart, to make him get a bigger house. [00:43:16] Speaker D: I'm going to be real. I feel like there had to be some signs from this woman, or it was a woman, right? From this woman to be like, this ain't what you think it is, or this ain't going to that way, because there's no way. It was just perfect. All of a sudden I found, oh, yeah. You know what I mean? So the signs were there. [00:43:35] Speaker C: He just didn't see it. [00:43:36] Speaker D: He just didn't see them. Or he ignored them, thinking they would change. And that's pretty. [00:43:40] Speaker C: Maybe he was just oblivious. [00:43:42] Speaker B: Some people are oblivious. [00:43:43] Speaker C: I'd be oblivious. [00:43:44] Speaker D: Some people can't read the room. [00:43:45] Speaker C: I can't. Unless it's violence. If violence is there, I can read it, but if it's like anything else. [00:43:50] Speaker D: Yeah, some people can't read the room at all. [00:43:53] Speaker C: I had people tell me. Like, I used to like you this, that. [00:43:56] Speaker B: What? [00:43:56] Speaker C: I just thought you wanted a tissue or something. [00:43:58] Speaker B: You know what I'm saying? Yeah. [00:44:00] Speaker C: I'd be oblivious like that. [00:44:01] Speaker D: Some people can't. But if you can't read the room. So I think the signs maybe were there. He just didn't see them. And honestly, if she told him like that, I'm pretty sure she was nasty to him before that, because that's really nasty to say. [00:44:14] Speaker C: Disrespectful. [00:44:15] Speaker D: Yeah, I feel like her mouth had to be a little reckless. [00:44:17] Speaker B: She could have lied and been like, this ain't working for me. [00:44:20] Speaker D: Yeah. I mean, she could have lied and. [00:44:22] Speaker C: Said that, I need to work on myself. [00:44:23] Speaker B: I need to work on myself. [00:44:25] Speaker D: This isn't working. [00:44:26] Speaker B: It's not you. [00:44:27] Speaker D: I promise you. It's a me thing. Like, I'm serious. Something. Just make sure the blame is on her in some way. But to come out and just say, like, I found somebody better, why would you want to hurt somebody? [00:44:38] Speaker B: That's a little cold. [00:44:39] Speaker D: That's cold hearted. [00:44:40] Speaker B: That's a little cold. [00:44:41] Speaker D: That's harsh. And if you cared about this person, you would not want them to feel. That's why people lie in the first place. [00:44:46] Speaker C: Yeah, okay, Jody, I'm just being. [00:44:49] Speaker D: Yeah, that's why people lie. Because they don't want to hurt your feelings. They don't want the. [00:44:53] Speaker C: And who do they tell? The truth. [00:44:55] Speaker D: The people that you don't give a. [00:44:56] Speaker C: Damn about tell these holes the truth, a lot of you. Because I care about your feelings. [00:45:01] Speaker B: Okay, Jody. [00:45:04] Speaker D: You don't want the repercussions of lying. You know what I'm saying? Hurting their feelings. Because lying, selfish ain't really for them. It's really for you. You want to deal with it. [00:45:11] Speaker B: So basically, my approach is valid. [00:45:14] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:45:14] Speaker B: Because I don't want to hurt their feelings. [00:45:15] Speaker D: You don't want to hurt their feelings, so you make your approach feel valid. [00:45:18] Speaker C: It makes you think that single mother that. [00:45:21] Speaker D: Yeah, but it makes you feel like it's valid even though it's not. It makes you feel that way, though. You get what I'm saying? [00:45:29] Speaker B: Yeah. Thank you, guys. Man, you all held me down today. I appreciate that. Appreciate you all showing up for the team. [00:45:38] Speaker C: Hey, I bogarted my way onto the show. [00:45:42] Speaker B: Oh, thank you. No, let me tell you something. When I realized, when I got that text this morning, I said, please let BB at the studio. [00:45:51] Speaker C: And I came early. [00:45:53] Speaker B: Yes. [00:45:58] Speaker C: Y'all children. Y'all weren't supposed to laugh about. Y'all are children. [00:46:05] Speaker B: But Johnny, tell the people how they can find you on social media. [00:46:08] Speaker D: You can find me on Facebook at Johnny Dane. [00:46:12] Speaker B: Okay, how about you, B? How can they find you and your podcast? [00:46:16] Speaker C: I can't say it as voluptuous as that, but you can find me on social media. Preacher underscore VP. And you can find me every Monday and Wednesday on the DJ Blaze radio show podcast. Twelve years in the game, right? [00:46:32] Speaker B: Holler at your boy. Yeah, you can find me on Facebook, at Yoshi English on Instagram and Snapchat at the 9th wonder, and on Twitter, aka x at I am coachy underscore. You can find a podcast at re lstat podcast on all social media platforms. Until the next time, y'all, we're out. [00:46:59] Speaker F: Thank you for listening to another episode of relationship status. Remember, you can catch us on Relationshipstatuspodcast.com, iTunes, Google podcast, iHeartRadio, Spotify, Pandora, Amazon Music, nobody grinds like us, and anywhere you listen to your favorite podcast. If you would like to join the conversation or leave us a dear neek, email us at re lstat [email protected] or call us at 843-10-8637 follow us on Facebook at Status podcast on Instagram and Twitter at Relstat podcast. And don't forget to comment, share, five star rate, subscribe, and review.