256th Date: Date Your Wife and Forget She Almost Cheated

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Car I bought was this. [00:00:02] Speaker B: Well, you might have should have done a little bit more investigating into what the day to day of this riding in this car would look like. [00:00:09] Speaker A: Yeah, because I just feel like women depreciate real quick. [00:00:15] Speaker B: Yousef, you are going to get attacked. What do you mean by these women? [00:00:20] Speaker A: I'm talking about in the car analogy. [00:00:22] Speaker B: Don't. Don't say that no more. You just said that we depreciate in value. Like y' all are out here appreciating value. [00:00:30] Speaker A: No, we're. I'm. I'm not saying that we appreciate in value. I'm saying that cuz we depreciate as well. But women be rapid. No, it's a rapid decline. [00:00:41] Speaker B: No. [00:00:48] Speaker A: I think you lying, but okay. [00:00:49] Speaker B: I was not. I went out and got something to eat. I did. I work. [00:00:57] Speaker A: So for the five minutes it took you to go get something to eat? [00:01:01] Speaker B: Maybe. [00:01:01] Speaker A: Maybe. [00:01:02] Speaker B: I actually was like out for like an hour. [00:01:04] Speaker A: Okay. Went to lunch. [00:01:05] Speaker B: I didn't go to lunch and sit down. But it takes a long time to get places in Greenville. We ain't in Florence. [00:01:12] Speaker A: Oh, okay. See, Florence, that's a shot. [00:01:15] Speaker B: Yeah. No, it's not. I love my hometown. When I was there this past week, it took like 10 minutes to get everywhere I needed to go. [00:01:23] Speaker A: Florence is big. Florence really isn't big. [00:01:26] Speaker B: It was a lovely situation. [00:01:29] Speaker A: Well, welcome back to relationship Relationship status. It's use of in the building with. [00:01:34] Speaker B: Your girl for Rhonda. [00:01:36] Speaker A: Huh? We are back again for another episode of relationship Stats. Remember you catch on all podcast platforms. Got a big announcement for y' all coming up. [00:01:47] Speaker B: But you don't do no whole long intro. [00:01:49] Speaker A: I don't do a whole long intro. Yeah, gotta. Got a big announcement coming up soon. Actually we have two of them. Two and two. [00:01:56] Speaker B: So I know what these are. [00:01:58] Speaker A: On the next episode. On the next episode, we got a teaser. [00:02:02] Speaker B: A little teaser. [00:02:03] Speaker A: A little teaser. On the next episode we'll be. You'll be able to find us on another platform waiting for the contracts to come through. [00:02:12] Speaker B: Contracts and come through with the contracts. [00:02:15] Speaker A: Yes. And we are looking at getting a new host. So hopefully we'll be making those announcements on the very next episode of Relationship Status. So first off, what we're going to start off with today before. Before we do anything, we asked the question of the week a couple weeks ago because we had. We said, women only describe your relationship using self care terms so that men don't understand. And those were hilarious. [00:02:46] Speaker B: Yeah. So now we have men doing the same thing and Ladies, let me just say I previewed and I understand nothing of what it is that has been said. I will say, because the majority of it is basketball terms. [00:03:00] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:03:00] Speaker B: I'm not as versed in basketball. [00:03:02] Speaker A: Okay. [00:03:02] Speaker B: As I am. [00:03:03] Speaker A: But I do have. Do have football terms. [00:03:04] Speaker B: There are. There's a cup. There's one football. One that I'm not gonna read. [00:03:08] Speaker A: I'll read it. [00:03:09] Speaker B: And no, he's not reading it either. And it's not going to be red, but here we go. Men only describe your previous or current relationship using sports terminology so women won't understand. And the very first one. I do understand this one. [00:03:25] Speaker A: Okay. [00:03:26] Speaker B: Full court. No, I don't understand this one. Full court press. [00:03:29] Speaker A: That means that that woman is applying pressure to him at the crib. That man is uncomfortable at home in a bad way. Yes. [00:03:37] Speaker B: Oh, because. [00:03:39] Speaker A: Because when you're getting pressed in the full court. [00:03:41] Speaker B: Okay. [00:03:42] Speaker A: They're trying to make you turn over the ball. They're trying to steal the ball from you. Yeah. So that man is uncomfortable at home. [00:03:48] Speaker B: Oh, no. [00:03:49] Speaker A: Yes. He is very uncomfortable at home. [00:03:52] Speaker B: Maybe he needs it. I don't know. [00:03:53] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:03:53] Speaker B: Okay, so the second one was technical foul. He's laughing. What is this? [00:04:01] Speaker A: That's. That's like. [00:04:03] Speaker B: No, it's tech. [00:04:03] Speaker A: Tech. [00:04:04] Speaker B: And then they get. [00:04:05] Speaker A: Yeah, that means it's unsports with that. That form was crazy. [00:04:09] Speaker B: No, I was doing tech. [00:04:11] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. I'm talking about the form. Yeah. No, okay. [00:04:14] Speaker B: We weren't trying to do form. [00:04:15] Speaker A: Okay. Okay. The technical file is. Is basically meaning that you did something disrespectful. So this. This man is disrespected. This man is disrespected on a daily basis at his home. He's uncomfortable. [00:04:27] Speaker B: You. And it's uncomfortable. Is this a common three? [00:04:30] Speaker A: Yes. [00:04:31] Speaker B: So this person has a whole story says in college they kept trying different matchups with multiple defenders, but we ran a floppy with a double screen so I could knock him down from deep. [00:04:43] Speaker A: Yes. He was in those streets. That's what that means. He. He had his. Him and his friends were running the streets. [00:04:52] Speaker B: Okay. [00:04:52] Speaker A: And he was knocking them down. [00:04:54] Speaker B: Okay. So I got to knock him down from. Okay, here we go. All right. Full court pressure at an 8am game while my guys halfway sleep. [00:05:02] Speaker A: Yeah. That means that man wake up every day and his wife is on his. [00:05:06] Speaker B: Ass. [00:05:09] Speaker A: First thing in the morning. First thing, that man wake up. He shake his head when he wake up. [00:05:19] Speaker B: First off, 8 o' clock AM is very early to start foolishness. Like, my brain is not even Turned on enough to even bother somebody at the time. Okay, man. Like a three pointer. With two seconds on the clock, the crowd goes, wow, that's. That's positive. [00:05:35] Speaker A: That's a good one. [00:05:36] Speaker B: Okay, that means that these had mental positive. [00:05:38] Speaker A: No, that means his woman is. That means if male or female. I don't know. But that means that their mate is. Well, of course all men. What am I talking about? That means his wife or significant other, because we don't know. [00:05:48] Speaker B: She's clutch. [00:05:49] Speaker A: She's clutch. I mean, she come through form in the clutch. He can depend. He can depend on her. [00:05:55] Speaker B: That's what's up. Yes, that's what's up. Good. Because I'm worried about y'. [00:05:59] Speaker A: All. [00:06:00] Speaker B: Well, I know this one is not good. Air ball. [00:06:04] Speaker A: He's made a grave mistake. [00:06:09] Speaker B: This man is making return to cinder. [00:06:11] Speaker A: You know when you shoot an airball. [00:06:12] Speaker B: Can I get that back? [00:06:13] Speaker A: The funny thing about shooting an airball is you know it's gonna be an airball when it leaves your hand. So that means he knew what he was getting himself into. [00:06:22] Speaker B: And you wish you could press the rewind button and be like, let me do that. [00:06:25] Speaker A: And he continued to release the shot, and now you're looking around trying to figure out who shot it. Cause it wasn't you. [00:06:33] Speaker B: Jordan. Fourth quarter in 92. [00:06:36] Speaker A: His wife. Oh, his wife is not only clutch, she is the. The goat. [00:06:41] Speaker B: Okay. [00:06:41] Speaker A: She's the goat. [00:06:42] Speaker B: Fourth quarter in 92. [00:06:44] Speaker A: Yes. Clutch. Like she is the other person hit that. She. She was only one gamer. This one here is the Goat. This one is the whole game. [00:06:54] Speaker B: The whole season. [00:06:54] Speaker A: Yes. Every. Yes. Every time she step on the court to dub. [00:06:59] Speaker B: Okay, all right. They said, let's go. Previous. We've got the defense, all the offensive weapons imaginable, and special teams is amazing. Super bowl, here we come. But wait. [00:07:15] Speaker A: But wait. What? [00:07:18] Speaker B: I'm a Cowboys fan. [00:07:20] Speaker A: See? [00:07:20] Speaker B: Hush. You're not giving an explanation for this. Okay, thank you. We're moving on to the next one. 1991 Chicago Bulls versus Detroit Detroit Pistons. [00:07:34] Speaker A: That man. That man is in a domestic violence relationship. That man's in a domestic violence relationship. [00:07:43] Speaker B: Oh, my God. What were they doing? Were they beating each other up? [00:07:50] Speaker A: No, like the Bulls. The. The Pistons were called the. The bad boys. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:08:04] Speaker B: Oh, man. [00:08:05] Speaker A: That means she wake up. Chooses violence. Like he. He is in an abusive relationship, and he needs to go. [00:08:12] Speaker B: Like, literally in an abusive relationship. [00:08:15] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:08:21] Speaker B: Oh, okay, white boy. Oh, he push him. Oh. Oh, he threw the ball at him. [00:08:36] Speaker A: Like I said, domestic violence first time. [00:08:39] Speaker B: It was always the white boy, though. Oh. Oh, oh, he. Oh, he put him in a headlock. Oh, he need him in the chest. What is happening? Why are there no files happening here? What is going on? Oh. Oh, my goodness. So, yes, that was bad. [00:09:03] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:09:04] Speaker B: Okay, last one. [00:09:05] Speaker A: Last one. [00:09:06] Speaker B: 2009, Eddie House versus Rafer. Is that how you say his name? [00:09:10] Speaker A: Austin. [00:09:11] Speaker B: Austin. [00:09:15] Speaker A: That man doesn't like going home because one on one, he's getting his ass kicked. [00:09:22] Speaker B: First off, I feel like the women were a little bit more balanced in their comments. All of y', alls, except for, like, two y' all either getting beat up, you don't enjoy home, or your wife choosing violence every morning. [00:09:41] Speaker A: Doesn't it kind of give you the perspective on marriage from a man versus women? [00:09:48] Speaker B: Oh, my Lord. [00:09:49] Speaker A: Is that what. [00:09:50] Speaker B: Is that what. [00:09:51] Speaker A: Hey, listen, but the thing is, I'm not. It might be married or just a relationship. I'm just saying, like, it just. [00:09:56] Speaker B: But the thing is, y' all are the ones that choose this. We don't get on our own knees for the most part and propose or ask to be the girlfriend. [00:10:05] Speaker A: Yeah, but no, y'. All. No, no, no, no, no. Y' all do stuff like, I done invested so much time in this relationship. What are we doing? [00:10:17] Speaker B: It's still your choice. [00:10:18] Speaker A: Yeah, I thought we was going. I thought we was going out. What are we doing? [00:10:21] Speaker B: And if. If anything of the sort has changed, you could just be like, yeah. Nah, I mean, what you mean by the Chuck Deuces? [00:10:28] Speaker A: Yeah, but I mean, like. But women put the pressure on the man to get married, and y' all Greeks have come to the pressure. [00:10:35] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:10:36] Speaker A: That's why that man said full court press. She must have put it on him that day. [00:10:43] Speaker B: Y' all need to evaluate that. Y' all choosing to get into something that you know you're gonna be miserable in and then be. [00:10:49] Speaker A: No, the misery comes. The misery comes after you get in it. So it's like you're. Everything be fine. [00:10:57] Speaker B: Oh, so you saying. You're saying that we switch up once we get a ring on our. [00:11:02] Speaker A: I'm say people. I'm gonna say people switch up. But come marriage time, once a woman knows. Yeah, he ain't going nowhere. Oh, it's rap, daddy. You cancel that. I know, I'm. There's a certain level of security. There's a certain level of security that comes with. More so for the woman than for the man. More so for the woman than the man. [00:11:29] Speaker B: I don't. I don't necessarily believe that. I I think that our outlets might be a little bit different. The way that we look at it might be a little bit different. But I think that the men. The males get justice or the men get just as comfortable as the women do. [00:11:45] Speaker A: I don't think it's a comfort thing. I just think that women like you were swinging from the chandelier just last week. We got married today. Now all of a sudden, I don't. [00:11:54] Speaker B: Like that you first off, when you with somebody every single day versus every other day or just, you know, this week or whatever the case is, that is a completely different story. [00:12:04] Speaker A: But I didn't sign. I, I. The car I bought was this. [00:12:09] Speaker B: Well, you might have. Should have done a little bit more investigating into what the day to day of this riding in this car would look like. [00:12:16] Speaker A: Yeah. Because I just feel like women depreciate real quick. [00:12:22] Speaker B: Yousef, you are going to get attacked. What do you mean by these women? [00:12:26] Speaker A: I'm talking about in the car analogy. [00:12:29] Speaker B: Don't. Don't say that no more. You just said that we depreciate and value. Like y' all are out here really quickly. [00:12:37] Speaker A: No, when I'm. I'm not saying that we appreciate in value. I'm saying that because we depreciate as well. But women be rapid. [00:12:45] Speaker B: No. [00:12:46] Speaker A: It's a rapid decline. [00:12:48] Speaker B: No. [00:12:49] Speaker A: Okay, y' all tap in. Tell us what you think. I'm right. I know I'm right. [00:12:52] Speaker B: I know you're not. Because I think. I think that it's equal on both sides. Y' all are just looking at it from a. A different vantage point and stance than maybe we are. Y' all are looking at things maybe from a physical. [00:13:06] Speaker A: Not necessarily physical. I just. Women. When women get comfortable in a relationship, I think that. Let me. Let me not be absolutely. Some of the women that I have dealt with, when they have become comfortable within the relationship, they do not keep up what it is that got us to the point. [00:13:34] Speaker B: Here's my thing. Because. And I know this to be true because I've witnessed it to be true. A woman. A woman will flourish in as much as her man is investing in her. [00:13:46] Speaker A: Okay. Okay. If I. If I say. And I have. Have a friend that is literally, you. [00:13:57] Speaker B: Always got a friend. Is this ring you. [00:13:59] Speaker A: No, no, no, no, no. [00:14:00] Speaker B: Orlando Jr. No. [00:14:04] Speaker A: You will not put me even near that foolishness. And you will not. [00:14:10] Speaker B: Go ahead. [00:14:11] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:11] Speaker B: Got a friend. [00:14:12] Speaker A: Yes. But I just want to put my people, you know, I don't want to say. [00:14:15] Speaker B: Please don't say. [00:14:16] Speaker A: I have to say his name. [00:14:17] Speaker B: I'm just asking if it's you that's the friend. [00:14:19] Speaker A: No, no, no, no. [00:14:20] Speaker B: So did you say you can say his name? [00:14:22] Speaker A: I could say his name like he can't beat my ass. [00:14:25] Speaker B: I'm just saying, you ain't got no friend in him. [00:14:29] Speaker A: Okay. But it was about maybe two years ago, so he ain't currently going through it, but they still together. It was about two years ago. She had gained some weight over time. They'd been together like seven years. She gained some weight. Why are you laughing already? [00:14:46] Speaker B: Because of the way that you're saying this. Hurry up. Go ahead. [00:14:48] Speaker A: You laughing about her gaining. [00:14:50] Speaker B: No, I'm laughing at some point. [00:14:51] Speaker A: So you find women gaining weight funny? [00:14:53] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm laughing at you and the way that you're saying this because it's already breeding foolishness. So hurry up, get to the point. [00:15:01] Speaker A: All right. So he started to talk to her about her gaining weight, but he put it in a way in which, hey, why don't we be healthy? [00:15:16] Speaker B: Why don't we be healthy? [00:15:17] Speaker A: Yeah. He was like, you know, let's eat because they live together. So he was like, let's. Let's buy. Let's eat a little bit healthier. Let's start the workout. Let's walk. And she was like, good, because I did gain some weight. So some time goes by, she doesn't do. She doesn't take part in the things. And he starts to do some stuff. Well, she ends up. Now she's starting to say, I don't like the way I look. And this. I. That. And he started to get frustrated with the fact that, Joe, I'm telling you, well, come with me to the gym. Well, we need to eat better. And I'm trying to eat better, but you. I look at you, you ready to go to McDonald's and get a Big Mac? Like, we. What can we do fried chicken all the time? Like, what is. Like, can we. Can. Can we together without telling her that he's stopped being attracted to her and he's doesn't want to cheat. But, you know, porn has become his friend because he's felt unattracted to his lady and is at. At the time he was thinking about proposing to her, but he was like, you know, his issue with it pretty much is you. If you have an issue with something that you. That you want to fix and you're not doing anything to fix it, that's what kind of bothered him. So that. In that sense, I'm looking at it like she depreciated over time. He tried to help her. She obviously did not want to help. [00:16:57] Speaker B: First off, excuse me, when women start doing things like that, there's nine times out of ten a deeper issue than just the weight itself. [00:17:07] Speaker A: Okay. [00:17:08] Speaker B: And I, and I'm not trying to get overly. [00:17:11] Speaker A: No, no, no. [00:17:12] Speaker B: Overly deep about it or whatever. [00:17:14] Speaker A: That's why this is a podcast. Get overly deep. [00:17:16] Speaker B: But, but I'm saying that a. Men look at things at, on a very surface level and miss the underlying things that could be contributing to whatever this external or very easy to spot. [00:17:31] Speaker A: Well then, well then, so, so then why don't you talk to me or, or, or somebody. [00:17:35] Speaker B: The same reason why he ain't willing to say, hey, I ain't attracted to you no more. [00:17:39] Speaker A: Well, he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. [00:17:41] Speaker B: And it might be the same thing for either she hasn't come to the place where she's ready to divulge whatever that is. Maybe there's some shame around it. Maybe, you know, maybe it is about him and she doesn't want to hurt his. I don't know. It could be the gamut. But you know, I think that a lot of times whenever we, we, we kind of put things in those little boxes in those categories of, oh, well, if you want to do something about it, then just do it. I think that we are dismissing the, the human experience behind what actually caused it to happen in the first place. Especially, Especially if that's not how it was in the beginning. [00:18:16] Speaker A: Well, what I'm. Okay, I'm not discounting the human experience in anything. I think what I'm, what I'm, what I'm relaying is, well, here's what I'm going say in response to what you just said. If there is an underlying issue. No, you don't have to talk to me, but don't complain about what's happening without making. [00:18:44] Speaker B: That is human freaking nature. [00:18:46] Speaker A: You're complaining. [00:18:47] Speaker B: Everybody does that. [00:18:49] Speaker A: Well, do something about what you're complaining about. [00:18:51] Speaker B: And that's what I'm saying. Like, everybody complains about things that they don't necessarily do anything about. [00:18:57] Speaker A: So then don't complain to me because I don't want to hear it. Don't complain to me, Lord, because I don't want to hear it. [00:19:05] Speaker B: Maybe, maybe try asking some other questions. Maybe try digging a little bit deeper rather than just talking about the weight issue. Maybe sitting down and reflecting on. Okay, so when did this actually start? When did this weight gain start? When did the, when was the change? What changed? How did it Change interrogating, like, instead of just being like, oh, now I'm not attracted to her anymore, or, you know, whatever the. The situation is, or she's gaining this weight. I don't understand why she's gaining this weight. Let me say something about the weight. Well, she's not doing anything about the weight, so now it's a hurt issue. And now I'm thinking about cheating. [00:19:39] Speaker A: Like, I didn't. Did I say. Did I say he was thinking of cheating? [00:19:43] Speaker B: Yes, you did. [00:19:44] Speaker A: No, I did not. [00:19:44] Speaker B: Yes, you did. [00:19:45] Speaker A: No. No, I did not. [00:19:46] Speaker B: Yes, I said. [00:19:47] Speaker A: I said he does not want to cheat. [00:19:48] Speaker B: So that means he's thinking about. [00:19:49] Speaker A: And porn has become his friend. [00:19:51] Speaker B: That means he has thought about it. One plus one equals to. Deductive reasoning is if you have gone on to porn as a substitute for this situation, you're trying to do whatever it is that you can do not to teach. Cheat. That means that you have thought about cheating every. [00:20:06] Speaker A: I think people think about cheating. [00:20:09] Speaker B: You just said. You didn't say that he thought about. [00:20:10] Speaker A: I'm just. Okay. What? Okay, I retract that statement. I don't think he thought. He. When I say he thought about cheating, I'm saying that he doesn't want to cheat. You're implying that he did think about cheating. I'm saying that that was not the ro. That was not the route he wanted to take. [00:20:25] Speaker B: I hear that. But he thought about it. There's plenty of routes that I don't want to sit and take, but I might think about them. [00:20:31] Speaker A: I don't know. I don't know if I agree with you there. [00:20:33] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm sure you know if I. [00:20:35] Speaker A: Agree with you there. All right, since it's been a minute since we recorded, we had another question of the week, and the question of the week was, you've met the biggest crush you've had in your life, and you have a chance to get their number, but you have to use the following line to get it. I would blank for your number. [00:20:59] Speaker B: These people probably ain't about to get nobody's number. [00:21:02] Speaker A: We have a couple. First one was, I will eat. Eat the groceries. I would eat your groceries for your number. I would lie to my girl and say you're my cousin for your number. [00:21:18] Speaker B: So now I'm starting off as the other woman. [00:21:20] Speaker A: My lord, I would block my mama and say, you told me and you told me two for your number. Okay, It's a lady. I would fake having a baby on Instagram just to get your attention for your number. [00:21:36] Speaker B: Y' all Are extreme. [00:21:39] Speaker A: I would let. I would let my ex think we still working it out. For your number. I will call out of work for a week just to stare at your profile pic for your number. [00:21:49] Speaker B: Oh. [00:21:52] Speaker A: I would ruin my whole healing journey for your number. [00:21:57] Speaker B: So that person words your worth your piece. Okay. All right. [00:22:02] Speaker A: I would. I would let you ruin my credit and peace of mind for your number. I would post you before I even get to know you. For your number. I would fight my current situation and lose for your number. I. I got a couple more. I would eat gas station sushi for your number. [00:22:23] Speaker B: Oh, how long has that been there? [00:22:29] Speaker A: I would reply to my ex's hey stranger message with I have someone now. For your number. I would give you my Netflix password, no strings attached. For your number. [00:22:42] Speaker B: Oh, wow. [00:22:44] Speaker A: I would pretend to like pumpkin spice lattes for you. [00:22:47] Speaker B: No, pretend not to like them. [00:22:49] Speaker A: I pretend to like. [00:22:50] Speaker B: Oh. [00:22:52] Speaker A: I would tell the group chat I'm in love for your number. [00:22:57] Speaker B: Y' all out here selling out for some numbers. [00:23:00] Speaker A: They're selling out for the number. [00:23:01] Speaker B: Oh my. [00:23:02] Speaker A: Hey. I mean but if it. Who. Who was your. Who was your all time crush? That would just. Right now. Who would that be? Just all time. [00:23:23] Speaker B: I don't know if I've had an all time crush at one time. Like I. I crushed on Will Smith, especially as he got older. Of course. Every woman. Denzel Washington. Well, every black woman. Probably every woman all time crush. Yeah. [00:23:45] Speaker A: Nothing. [00:23:48] Speaker B: No. [00:23:49] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:50] Speaker B: I had a couple who were yours. [00:23:53] Speaker A: No judgment. When I was younger, MC Light was one. [00:24:01] Speaker B: Okay. [00:24:02] Speaker A: Neil Long. [00:24:03] Speaker B: I think Neil Long is everyone's. [00:24:09] Speaker A: Stacy Dash. [00:24:11] Speaker B: Oh, you gotta type. [00:24:13] Speaker A: Wait a minute. [00:24:14] Speaker B: Outside of emc light. [00:24:16] Speaker A: Wait a minute. [00:24:17] Speaker B: What's the type you like dark skinned women? [00:24:20] Speaker A: Stacy Dash and what you call is not dark skinned. They are my complexion. [00:24:25] Speaker B: Stacy Dash is your complexion Yousef. [00:24:28] Speaker A: She is light. [00:24:29] Speaker B: Maybe Stacy Dash. [00:24:34] Speaker A: They are not dark. See now. Now we on Google. [00:24:38] Speaker B: Yep. Cause you don't know your colors. [00:24:42] Speaker A: What are you talking about? [00:24:45] Speaker B: Oh, she ain't your completion. She a little bit. A little bit darker than you. [00:24:51] Speaker A: Oh my gosh. [00:24:53] Speaker B: First off, this lighting. Oh my gosh. You can't tell what color she is because this lighting is so light. Sheesh. Because look. Look at that picture. Versus look at that picture. [00:25:05] Speaker A: Oh. Oh yeah. Okay. Another one. I had Regina King. [00:25:11] Speaker B: You still do have a type though. [00:25:12] Speaker A: And I think my all time favorite when she started dating. What's the dude. [00:25:21] Speaker B: From? [00:25:23] Speaker A: He been in the news lately. But Megan good. But not the new Megan good. New Megan good. Look like she on crack. [00:25:31] Speaker B: She's looking better. [00:25:32] Speaker A: I'm talking about pre. What's his name? What's the dude she dating now? [00:25:35] Speaker B: She ain't dating. They're married. Jonathan Majors. [00:25:38] Speaker A: Jonathan Major. Pre. Pre Majors. Pre Jonathan Majors. Making good. [00:25:43] Speaker B: That lady might have some health issues. [00:25:46] Speaker A: Yeah, she married Jonathan Majors. Like somebody should not make you look like somebody should not. [00:25:52] Speaker B: She was looking like that before. She was. [00:25:54] Speaker A: She was not looking not like that. [00:25:56] Speaker B: Yes, she was. Something was crawling on me. Yes, she was. [00:26:02] Speaker A: Because you can't tell me that one, buddy. She was not. I was looking at. She did not look like that. [00:26:08] Speaker B: I mean, she did lose weight a. [00:26:11] Speaker A: Lot, but she didn't have no weight to lose. [00:26:13] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, granted, but she start looking a whole lot better now. [00:26:17] Speaker A: She had no weight to lose. [00:26:19] Speaker B: And I still say what I said. Of what? I don't mind them together. [00:26:25] Speaker A: No, I don't mind them together. She seem genuinely. She's just. She's just no longer my crush. [00:26:30] Speaker B: Oh, wow. Dang. She got kicked out of the crush. [00:26:34] Speaker A: She sure did. Well, let's get into this letter we had. [00:26:41] Speaker B: All right, here we go. [00:26:43] Speaker A: Here we go. [00:26:44] Speaker B: Dear Relationship Status podcast. I'm a 27 year old husband and father who's feeling lost after a painful confession from my 29 year old wife. We've been married six years, have a beautiful four year old daughter, and we're college sweethearts. My wife was not just my partner, but my best friend. Things started falling apart when her parents stayed with us for months. Her father openly disapproves of me and constantly undermined me. Even to our daughter. The tension drove a wedge between my wife and me. We stopped communicating, intimacy vanished and we fought constantly. We recently began trying to reconnect through a retreat. It was going well until an intimacy exercise at home led to her confessing she almost had an affair with a 19 year old CO worker during our rough patch. They shared emotional moments, touched, and she planned to sleep with him until a moment with our daughter made her stop. She says it never got physical and she ended it. She hadn't planned to tell me, but guilt finally broke her down. Her mother knew before I did. I was blindsided. I didn't even know how to respond. I've since moved into the guest room to get space, but she keeps reaching out with the I love yous and promises of commitment. Meanwhile, I feel dumb or numb. Sorry I was trying to save our marriage while she was sneaking around with a boy. I never strayed. I never even looked elsewhere. She was always my person. I Don't know how to move forward. How do I let. How do I process this and still try to fix what's left? Sincerely drowning in loyalty. Not drowning in loyalty. First off, oh, gosh, anytime he says first time, I'm like, oh, Lord. [00:28:27] Speaker A: I disagree with something he said here. [00:28:30] Speaker B: What do you say? [00:28:33] Speaker A: He said confessing she almost had an affair. That woman had an affair. [00:28:42] Speaker B: Emotional affair. Are you saying she had. [00:28:44] Speaker A: She had an affair? They shared emotional moments, touched and planned how you plan to sleep together if you ain't already cheating. [00:28:54] Speaker B: Huh? [00:28:54] Speaker A: If you're not already cheating, how you plan to sleep together. [00:28:57] Speaker B: Okay, okay. [00:28:58] Speaker A: We have intimate conversations if we're planning to sleep together. Oh, she didn't. Got some dick pics. She done. She didn't sense some playing toys like all that. All that didn't happen. [00:29:09] Speaker B: Oh, wow. [00:29:10] Speaker A: All that don't happen. [00:29:11] Speaker B: I would have went really stream. [00:29:13] Speaker A: No, I'm sorry, I'm just. Okay. I would say they probably sexting because how do you get to a. How do you get to having sex if you're not talking about it or in a place to be intimate enough for it to be even an option? If you're. [00:29:31] Speaker B: What you're saying is that he needs to expand his view of cheating. [00:29:34] Speaker A: No, he needs to admit that his wife was cheating and leave her ass right where she stand. [00:29:38] Speaker B: Oh, wow. Yousef, you don't want him to try to forgive. [00:29:44] Speaker A: No, I'm not, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not confident. [00:29:48] Speaker B: Why aren't you confident? [00:29:50] Speaker A: I'm just. I don't think that it's. [00:29:59] Speaker B: Useful over here. Trying to deal with too many things. [00:30:01] Speaker A: No, no, no, no, no. I'm trying to figure out my words here because I'm trying not to insult my man or his wife, but she, at this point, she's for the streets. I think that if you. Any person that allows for a crack for. To allow them to go out and then it's like she with a 19 year old. [00:30:29] Speaker B: It's a 19 year old for me. [00:30:31] Speaker A: It's with a 19 year old. And you're. You're already 27. [00:30:36] Speaker B: She's 29. You said, you said. [00:30:38] Speaker A: No, I'm sorry. You almost dirty with your old ass with the boy. And you are. And your husband, of course. Cuz apparently you're his whole world, so he's treating you as such and we might be going through a rough patch in that you're. I remember I was dating someone once and we used to argue a little bit and she would say the funny Thing about us arguing is it's never anything that we caused between us. It was always some outside factor that caused us to have a conversation which led to an argument that had nothing to do with us to start with. So if we're going through a rough patch, it has to do with your parents and how your parents are treating me in my home, then, yes, I'm going to withdraw a little bit. Me, personally, I'm going to withdraw a little bit. Yes, we need to have some conversations. And apparently he's trying to do the work. If he's stepping out and saying, hey, we need to go to some retreats, we need to get some help, we need to get some counseling. Let's do some exercises. [00:31:48] Speaker B: Well, I mean, it also sounds like this happened a little minute ago now. It doesn't sound like it. It always, you know, in one consecutive. Yeah, yeah order or whatever. Because it. I will give. Give the fact to the woman that it sounds like she also is now trying because she could have kept it. [00:32:05] Speaker A: Keep that shit. [00:32:06] Speaker B: And I mean. And not saying. And that's what I'm saying. I'm not saying that it's right or wrong to confess because there could be something to be said. That confession is, in a way, selfish because I'm trying to unburden myself and now I'm burdening you. [00:32:19] Speaker A: That's selfish. [00:32:20] Speaker B: But also it. There could be some. Some selflessness in it, because it could be okay. I want us to make sure that we're going into this next phase of things with everything out in the open so that nothing could potentially come to bite us in the behind once we get on the other side of this. And so I'm. I'm telling you, with the risk of that you would or could leave me. And we are on this healing journey or this journey of mending whatever it is that was broken. So, I mean, I don't know. I. Y' all already know. Like, I'm very hesitant to just throw marriage in the trash. [00:32:55] Speaker A: I'm not saying, you know, off of. We're not throwing the marriage in the trash. [00:32:59] Speaker B: You just said he need to leave her where he. She's saying what that means. [00:33:02] Speaker A: That's not throwing the marriage. That's throwing her in the trash. [00:33:04] Speaker B: That's the marriage. You can't have a marriage without her. Like, what you're throwing the marriage in the trash, sir? [00:33:10] Speaker A: I mean, I just. Once trust is broken for me on either side. I know it's difficult for me to stay in it, in whatever it is, because marriage is built on trust. And although you'll have. Although you'll have some tough times, it's going to be pressing times. You know, we might can't make the bills or your parents got to move in and they annoy the crap out of me or you know, the kids have come in and now, you know, we can't really take care of each other because we're taking care of the kids. All of those things are strange. Somebody might lose their job. But I don't ever feel like there's anything that should. I don't ever feel like there's anything that should give anybody an excuse for emotionally. No, no. I'm looking at it from the perspective of apparently this guy. [00:34:08] Speaker B: Now I understand what you're saying. [00:34:09] Speaker A: Could we be missing something in the letter? Could he not be putting. Pointing out he, he might have been talking to her kind of reckless she might have felt the way it could be because he wrote, you know, he wrote the letter but just from what's here. [00:34:22] Speaker B: Yeah. And, and I'm not. [00:34:23] Speaker A: It seems like he's a loving dude who. How do you even have the space to emotionally. [00:34:29] Speaker B: What do you mean how you have. [00:34:30] Speaker A: The space to emotionally. And then what 19 year old got emotions? [00:34:35] Speaker B: First off, she obviously wasn't really. He was filling a hole, a gap. He wasn't trying to be. He was for her, the whole package or whatever the case is. But the thing that I was just about to say was I think that we put so much emphasis on cheating in relationships as if that's the worst thing that could. That could possibly happen to a person in a relationship. [00:34:53] Speaker A: No, I think, I think domestic violence is. [00:34:55] Speaker B: I abuse and not even going that extreme. I think that there are still things even. What's worse than above, above cheating that could happen in a relationship that would make me question whether or not I want to still be in this. [00:35:12] Speaker A: Okay, what's that? Give me an example. [00:35:15] Speaker B: Financial instability. Finances, number one is the. But half of the reason why marriages. [00:35:19] Speaker A: I mean but, but financial instability. You knew he was financially unstable before. [00:35:23] Speaker B: You got financial instability. Doesn't necessarily know. [00:35:26] Speaker A: That's not nothing that, that's not nothing that just comes up. [00:35:29] Speaker B: It could be you. [00:35:30] Speaker A: You know that before you, if you. [00:35:31] Speaker B: If you are in a place where you are making money, you are stable, you're doing all the things before we get married and then whenever we get into a. And you lose your job or something like that. Well, there's parts of you that I'm going to find out about that I didn't know beforehand. [00:35:46] Speaker A: I Mean, but that's different. [00:35:47] Speaker B: But that's what I'm saying. [00:35:48] Speaker A: Losing a, losing, losing job is different. [00:35:50] Speaker B: But you said that a person being financially unstable is something that, you know. [00:35:54] Speaker A: Well, no, no, because when you say financially unstable, I'm looking at it from an aspect of a person. You know, the bills never paid or they, they never have money or like what? Like they're not good. [00:36:05] Speaker B: They have, they're not good stewards. [00:36:06] Speaker A: Yeah. They have a, they have a poor relationship with money. Like, I think that's something that you. [00:36:11] Speaker B: See ahead of time and, and I'm not. [00:36:14] Speaker A: But like, I'm talking like if somebody, but if somebody loses their job, I think there's a different set of grace that should be allowed for a period. For a period, yes. [00:36:24] Speaker B: Now, because we ain't but acrimony in this thing. [00:36:26] Speaker A: Nah. [00:36:27] Speaker B: But I mean I go back there. [00:36:28] Speaker A: But you gotta tell. You got to tell me how much time I got to get a job. But to get a job. [00:36:33] Speaker B: But either way it goes like, I think in this he himself has to figure out whether he has the capacity to forgive. It sounds like they were on some sort of journey towards healing. And I think that more conversations definitely need to be had. I think a third party probably, you know, we're going to always be a proponent for, for therapy. A third party might need to be a part of the conversation now. But I don't say throw the baby out with the bath water. Like, I don't know if you have enough information yet to do that because. [00:37:05] Speaker A: Do you think she didn't sleep with him? I think she slept. That 19 year old was. [00:37:11] Speaker B: I mean, for me, I think that she did not. And the reason why I say that is because for a woman to emotionally cheat is cheating. That's why I say she might as well have told him the whole thing. [00:37:23] Speaker A: Where have we been that we could touch. [00:37:26] Speaker B: They might be touching at work or something. I don't know. Don't get me to speculating. [00:37:30] Speaker A: I'm just saying it was just. [00:37:31] Speaker B: They could have lunch breaks in the car. I don't know. But you know, where there's a wheel, there's a way if you really want to figure it out. I'm sure. [00:37:41] Speaker A: Emotional moments touched. [00:37:44] Speaker B: I, I think that she would have told him if she had cheated. Because I mean to say that part of it and then not. [00:37:51] Speaker A: I mean, I get it. [00:37:53] Speaker B: So. Yeah, but I don't, I, I think you just, y' all need to have more conversations. I don't think that, I don't think that they've exhausted the conversation to really get to the to the bottom of things because there also seems to be some respect issues. There seem to be some boundary issues. You talk to your mama too much. She and our relationship a little bit too much it sounds like. So it's something they have a whole lot of underlying things outside of just this cheating that they might need to work through. [00:38:25] Speaker A: Well that's hers. Mine run so we have a couple. Don't listen to him in the relationship status podcast advice chat. Go ahead and join that. Ibrahim said kick the parents out. Don't involve them in relationship issues. Date your wife and forget that she almost cheated because that was a cry for help and finally seek counseling. [00:38:49] Speaker B: See I like that. Ibram. [00:38:51] Speaker A: He be coming with some say I love you back cause you know you do. [00:38:55] Speaker B: Exactly. Because you wouldn't be putting that in there if you did. He would be making sense sometimes something. [00:39:00] Speaker A: Yeah he don't want to talking about eat your groceries. [00:39:02] Speaker B: Yeah like you said sometimes. [00:39:05] Speaker A: Jocelyn said. Sorry to say this but those parents need to move out. Refocus on your wife and marriage. Communicate your feelings, possibly seek counseling. You still love her so tell her back. Now make sure you take the time to reflect because her almost has a root cause. Focus on the bigger picture. Wish you and her well. Auntie. My Aunt Pat. [00:39:27] Speaker B: Hey Aunt Pat. [00:39:29] Speaker A: She said if I could afford to and they would not. If I could afford to and they would get them to give. Get them not get then to give them the mortgage and pack up my. Oh basically give them the house. I'mma pack up my family and leave. Come on, Auntie Pat. Like I. You could have found a better way to say that. All right. [00:39:51] Speaker B: I'm so confused. I'm still confused. [00:39:53] Speaker A: No, she's basically. She said if I could afford to, I would give them the house, pack up giving the parents the house pack up my family and and leave. Oh if they don't step up then that's their problem. That's their home. Then they are homeless. They would have to go to a shelter. They raised you to do your thing. [00:40:14] Speaker B: Oh gosh. [00:40:15] Speaker A: Tell them to grow up and get on with their lives. [00:40:17] Speaker B: Not putting the parents in the shelter. [00:40:20] Speaker A: Lala said, I'm sorry for what you're going through. However, both of you contribute to the breakdown of the marriage. I don't think your wife should get cast aside because she almost cheated her love through for you and her family stopped her from going all the way. Parents should not be part of a marriage. I'm sorry. Your parents should. Her Parents should not be part of. Of the marriage. I'm sorry. If they have to live with you, then they should not meddle in your marriage. As long as there is no abuse going on. [00:40:49] Speaker B: I don't even think you gotta apologize for saying that when. [00:40:52] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:40:52] Speaker B: What was the name of the last Lala. Lala. Like that's not an. I'm sorry. That's just if you want this to work, can't be no whole bunch of people. [00:41:01] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:41:02] Speaker B: In your thing. [00:41:02] Speaker A: But I don't think you should have people in your. In your business anyway. Especially. Especially your parents. [00:41:07] Speaker B: And not. And especially not no marriage. [00:41:09] Speaker A: Yeah. Parents don't need to be in that. Nothing. No. [00:41:12] Speaker B: And you're saying that your dad is being disrespectful and like so there. There sounds like there's just a whole lot of underlying background stuff. [00:41:21] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:41:22] Speaker B: That we're just not privy to. Cuz they fathers aren't generally just out here for no reason. Not liking husbands. So what did you do, sir? [00:41:33] Speaker A: So what did you shoot. [00:41:34] Speaker B: What did you do, sir? What did you do? Whether it was early on, before y' all got married or during or whatever, you did something. Yeah. [00:41:43] Speaker A: All right. So what did you learn today, man? [00:41:45] Speaker B: We ended. [00:41:46] Speaker A: Yeah, that's, that's. That's time. But anyway, keep writing the letters in R E L S T A T podcast. Gmail.com. i'm Yousef in the building and she is. [00:41:58] Speaker B: I'm Miranda. [00:41:59] Speaker A: See y' all next time. [00:42:01] Speaker B: Peace. Bye. [00:42:02] Speaker C: Thank you for listening to another episode of Relationship Status. Remember, you can catch us on relationshipstatuspodcast.com, iTunes, Google Podcast, iHeartRadio, Spotify, Pandora, Amazon Music, and anywhere you listen to your favorite podcasts. If you would like to join the conversation or leave us a date, email us@rel statpodcastmail.com or call us at 843-310-8637. Follow us on Facebook at Relationship Status Podcast on Instagram and Twitter Elstat Podcast and don't forget to comment. Share five star rate. Subscribe and review.