232nd Date: She Ain't a Dime if She Can't Manage a Dollar

[00:00:00] Speaker A: That sounds very mervynish. That does not sound. [00:00:05] Speaker B: Has he not done that? Yes. [00:00:12] Speaker A: That means he impartial party. [00:00:14] Speaker B: He doesn't want to impartial party. [00:00:16] Speaker A: What did I do? What did I do? [00:00:18] Speaker B: What do you mean what you did? [00:00:20] Speaker A: See, I just asked you a question. What did I do? You tell me. What do you mean what you did? I don't know. You. You're accusing me of doing something, so I'm asking you, what is it that I am? [00:00:29] Speaker B: Whoa. [00:00:31] Speaker A: I never said whoa when the song was popular. I didn't even say whoa. I never said whoa in my life. Whoa. [00:00:37] Speaker B: Okay, what am I? [00:00:38] Speaker A: Joey Lawrence. I know you'll get that cut. Joey Lawrence? Yeah. [00:00:40] Speaker C: She don't get that reference. [00:00:42] Speaker A: You don't know who Joey Lawrence is? [00:00:43] Speaker C: No, she missed that was that might be a little bit before her, huh? Might be a little bit before her time. [00:00:49] Speaker A: Do you know where Joey Lawrence first gig came in at that? [00:00:53] Speaker C: I don't know. [00:00:54] Speaker A: Give me a break. Nell Carter. What character was he going to give me a break? You never not give me a. Yeah, was it was Nell Carter. [00:01:01] Speaker C: It's Nell Carter. Don't give me a break. [00:01:02] Speaker A: But he was a little kid. [00:01:04] Speaker B: Let's rock. [00:01:05] Speaker A: He was a little kid. [00:01:07] Speaker D: Let's rock. We rocking right now. [00:01:08] Speaker A: Let's roll. [00:01:09] Speaker C: Go ahead. It's all unique. [00:01:10] Speaker A: All right, start it off. We should get one of those things at all. Need one of them. What is that called? A chalk. [00:01:20] Speaker C: Is it chalk? No, a slate. A slate. Okay, a slate. [00:01:26] Speaker A: Full service studio, baby. Slate. [00:01:29] Speaker B: My head was not hurting for this. [00:01:31] Speaker C: We waited on you. [00:01:32] Speaker A: Go ahead. [00:01:32] Speaker D: Okay. [00:01:42] Speaker B: Welcome back to relationship status. It's your girl, Nick Cruz, Cl Butler. [00:01:46] Speaker C: And your boy Yusuf in the building. And remember, you can find us on all podcast platforms. Remember to, like, share, follow and five star rate. And if you want to join the conversation, email us relstat [email protected] we're back again. [00:02:01] Speaker A: Yes, we're here. We're here. First time we've all been together in the new year. [00:02:05] Speaker C: It is the first time. Well, happy New Year. [00:02:07] Speaker A: See? [00:02:08] Speaker B: Happy New year to you all because you've been gone. [00:02:10] Speaker A: I've been gone, but I've been here. [00:02:12] Speaker C: At the same time. [00:02:13] Speaker A: Yeah, you can do that. [00:02:15] Speaker B: Really? [00:02:16] Speaker A: So you changed your hair color. I didn't know who you was when I came here. [00:02:18] Speaker B: Really? [00:02:19] Speaker A: Yes. What is this? It's not honey blonde. [00:02:22] Speaker B: This is no. 613. [00:02:25] Speaker A: 613. [00:02:26] Speaker C: It was darker earlier. [00:02:27] Speaker A: 613 on your foreseea. [00:02:29] Speaker C: It was lighter. I thought you went lighter than you had it the first time. [00:02:33] Speaker B: Yeah, it was like a honey blonde last time. [00:02:35] Speaker A: So what is it now? [00:02:36] Speaker B: 613. [00:02:37] Speaker A: 613. Okay. Episodes. Okay. 613. That's about what we are in episodes, too. Thank you. Neat. I appreciate you. You say, yeah, say, I appreciate you. [00:02:49] Speaker C: I appreciate you. [00:02:50] Speaker A: Just for you, being you, who you. [00:02:51] Speaker C: Are, I appreciate you. [00:02:53] Speaker B: I feel like there's something behind. [00:02:55] Speaker C: Think he just. [00:02:56] Speaker A: I just don't think you're used to compliments. [00:03:00] Speaker B: From you? [00:03:00] Speaker A: No, from me. I always compliment you. All right, here we go. We talk about communication today. [00:03:08] Speaker C: Is that what we're talking about? [00:03:10] Speaker A: That's what they say. We're talking about. [00:03:12] Speaker B: That's what they say. [00:03:13] Speaker A: How do you think our communication is? Feel free to attack me. I'm okay. Feel free to attack me. It's okay. Somebody got to be the bad guy. [00:03:26] Speaker B: Really. Okay, Tony. [00:03:27] Speaker A: Yeah, somebody be the bad guy. [00:03:28] Speaker B: I take that on fully communication. Communication is our communication. [00:03:35] Speaker A: How is our communication? I don't know what you mean. [00:03:40] Speaker B: You don't know communicate, though. [00:03:43] Speaker A: We do. We're talking right now. [00:03:44] Speaker B: Right now. But normally, no. [00:03:47] Speaker A: You've never reached out and just called me and say, how are you doing? Never. I'm just saying I've called you way more times than you called me. [00:03:58] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:04:02] Speaker C: It kind of goes all the way around. [00:04:03] Speaker A: It goes around. Goes around. [00:04:06] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:04:06] Speaker A: So in our communication, what do you think is lacking? Because we can start with ourselves first. [00:04:13] Speaker B: With ourselves? [00:04:15] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, I can start. [00:04:16] Speaker B: Go ahead. [00:04:18] Speaker A: Clarity. Lack clarity. Lack clarity. [00:04:24] Speaker C: Just a moment. [00:04:25] Speaker A: For you, he's the most guilty. He was like, you know that thing. You know that thing was talking about, right. And then the what? And then that thing. I was like, what are you talking about? What's the subject? [00:04:35] Speaker B: You have to ask questions because he's. [00:04:37] Speaker D: Very clear when he talks. [00:04:38] Speaker A: No, he's telling me something. He'd be like, yeah, the thing we was talking about, I taught you 72 times. What thing are we talking about? And when you use things and what? And then I'm especially appalled at your English. You being an english teacher. I'm just like, wow, is he code switching? Is he, like, at this at work? [00:04:58] Speaker C: No, when I'm at work, it's totally different. [00:05:00] Speaker A: Then don't be different with me. Just be regular. I don't want you to be different, yo, you know what I'm saying? No, I don't know what the subject is with me. [00:05:08] Speaker B: I have no issues with clarity. [00:05:10] Speaker A: Well, literally, some of the problem is. Some of our problem is we don't, or I don't. I have things going on. So when you call me? I'm probably doing something. Yes. Okay. [00:05:24] Speaker C: I must agree. [00:05:25] Speaker A: I'm doing something on a rule I. [00:05:26] Speaker B: Don'T like to call. [00:05:28] Speaker A: That's a woman's lie, which is different than a regular lie. The last time I called because women's lies are acceptable. [00:05:36] Speaker B: You was on top of a roof. The last time? [00:05:38] Speaker A: Yes. [00:05:38] Speaker B: Last time I called you, yes. That's dangerous. [00:05:41] Speaker A: That's not dangerous. [00:05:42] Speaker B: That is. [00:05:43] Speaker C: Okay, but he's the one doing the work. [00:05:45] Speaker A: I'm doing the work. [00:05:48] Speaker B: I don't like to interrupt people. That's like dangerous work. [00:05:52] Speaker A: See, again, this is the problem. Before we get to the problem, we got to get to the solution. [00:06:02] Speaker C: But don't you all. [00:06:03] Speaker A: Not solution based. No, I know what the problem is. [00:06:05] Speaker B: Oh, you're solution based. [00:06:06] Speaker A: What's the problem? You all don't talk. [00:06:09] Speaker D: We do, yeah. [00:06:10] Speaker A: When something's wrong. [00:06:13] Speaker C: You are not the easiest person to talk to. [00:06:15] Speaker A: Yes. [00:06:16] Speaker C: Not at all the easiest person to talk to. [00:06:19] Speaker A: You are not that. Yes. [00:06:20] Speaker B: You do not let anybody get anything out. [00:06:25] Speaker A: I have no control over what you put in or out. [00:06:28] Speaker B: No. I could say five sentences. Five sentences. [00:06:32] Speaker A: Yes. But they're the same five. [00:06:34] Speaker B: Don't be. [00:06:35] Speaker A: I comprehended it the first time, but. [00:06:38] Speaker B: I have to keep starting over because you cut me off. [00:06:42] Speaker A: That's not true. [00:06:43] Speaker B: How are you telling me? [00:06:45] Speaker A: How does a person cut you off? If we're having a conversation? Both parties are equal to talk to each other the same amount. So there's no way why you feel even. Yes. Your feelings have nothing to do with the facts of what we're doing. If the fact is we have to be here, if we have to go get this car. Right. That's the fact. I don't care how you feel if you agree to it, your feelings don't mean anything to me. [00:07:10] Speaker B: Then why should I? [00:07:11] Speaker A: Unless you say I'm sick and go. [00:07:13] Speaker B: Then why should I say anything? [00:07:14] Speaker A: That's why you shouldn't talk about your feelings. I'd rather you just say, I don't want to go. Like, okay, I can do something different. But when you try to tell me about why you feel like you don't have to go or you feel like you shouldn't go, I'm like, hey, just tell me no, because I got things to do. Okay, let's take a break here. Don't take a break. [00:07:35] Speaker C: Let's take a break. [00:07:35] Speaker A: I feel that it's very intense. Oh, no, we're good. We're intense. But we do. We take a break. [00:07:40] Speaker C: We take a break. Go to commercial. [00:07:41] Speaker E: Do you have a podcast that you're passionate about. Are you looking for a professional studio to help bring your vision to life? Then look no further than Crux Media Group studios. Located at nine three West Evans street in Florence, South Carolina, Crux Media Group Studios is a full service podcast studio that offers recording, editing, consultation, live streaming, video recording and more. We have state of the art equipment and a team of experienced professionals who can help you create a podcast that is professional, polished and engaging. Whether you're a first time podcaster or a seasoned pro, Crux Media Group Studios can help you take your podcast to the next level. Contact us today at 843-407-1673 to learn more about our services and to schedule a consultation. [00:08:33] Speaker A: Now. We're back after that short break. Probably a crooks media. [00:08:38] Speaker C: Definitely a commercial. Media commercial. [00:08:39] Speaker A: Yes. Here at the lovely studios now. Yes, that's where we are today. But with the magic we were once three, now we're four. We're joined by Mrs. Eddie Griffin. [00:08:55] Speaker C: Yeah, there you. [00:08:57] Speaker A: Huh? Can y'all act a little enthusiastic? [00:08:59] Speaker B: Yeah, we already met her. [00:09:01] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah, I met her. Just not our first time meeting. [00:09:04] Speaker C: It's not. [00:09:05] Speaker B: You didn't meet her as Eddie. [00:09:06] Speaker D: You met me as Miller. [00:09:09] Speaker A: Yes. Yes. [00:09:10] Speaker C: That was two names. [00:09:13] Speaker A: How do you. We're talking about communication. How do you communicate between your identities? [00:09:20] Speaker D: A simple update. [00:09:22] Speaker A: Okay. [00:09:23] Speaker D: This India, y'all. Okay, don't freak out. [00:09:25] Speaker A: Okay. We don't get back into our conversation about communication. I've. Yusuf made several allegations about women not being communicators. When would you want to dive right into that? [00:09:39] Speaker C: Yes. [00:09:40] Speaker A: Okay. Thank you. [00:09:41] Speaker C: I did not say that, but I will. [00:09:43] Speaker A: You don't believe that. [00:09:44] Speaker C: That women are bad communicators? That would you ask me? [00:09:47] Speaker A: That's a question you could answer. [00:09:49] Speaker C: No. What's the question? [00:09:50] Speaker B: No, because you said he made the. [00:09:51] Speaker A: Allegations already, so I already know the answer. But just to know he's been making his whole life. [00:09:59] Speaker B: Wow. [00:10:01] Speaker A: I'm not. We just. This is a safe place here. [00:10:04] Speaker B: How you just say this is not daggers. [00:10:07] Speaker A: I didn't throw daggers at him. If he said the same thing about. [00:10:09] Speaker C: Me, I'd be like, yes, okay. [00:10:12] Speaker B: No, you ain't, because we were just telling you about yourself. [00:10:14] Speaker A: You could tell me about myself. I don't know. What about myself that you don't think I already know? [00:10:18] Speaker C: I'll say this. Communication with most women is difficult. [00:10:21] Speaker A: It is very difficult. I just said how he don't think. That he don't think women should ask questions. [00:10:29] Speaker C: I did not. [00:10:30] Speaker A: What. [00:10:35] Speaker B: I asked you to give me just an example. [00:10:38] Speaker A: Bring back the good old days of what you know, the days you always talk about. [00:10:43] Speaker D: Don't do that. [00:10:46] Speaker A: Don't get shown camera. [00:10:47] Speaker C: What you know about the two camera. [00:10:50] Speaker B: Now, can you tell me that? What is that? [00:10:53] Speaker D: What is that? [00:10:54] Speaker C: Like, see how that attack, how you say, tone, is a real thing in it? You said that just now. [00:11:03] Speaker B: Communicate. [00:11:04] Speaker A: Okay, there's a question you haven't answered. Question number one successfully. You agreed at that. What do you mean? Or question number two, congratulations. What do you mean, congratulations? You didn't answer the question. First of all, you got distracted by Nick's response, and I think a lot of time in communication. [00:11:24] Speaker B: Just a question. [00:11:25] Speaker A: Yeah. Nothing wrong with your question, but I think a lot of times people are so caught up in the person's response that they can't communicate what they're trying to communicate. That's why sometimes with me, your response doesn't matter if it's information I need to give to you, because I'm communicating from me to you, because I already know what I think. I know not what I feel, but if I feel something, I'll say I feel it. Sometimes women and men act like their feelings are the actual facts, and you are right about your feelings, 100%. Whatever you feel, you are 100% right about it. Facts over feelings doesn't make it factual. You can feel offended. That does not mean you've been offended. [00:12:08] Speaker B: Okay. [00:12:09] Speaker A: And. [00:12:10] Speaker B: All right. Keep going. [00:12:11] Speaker A: Yusuf, tell them why women shouldn't be doing all this talking. [00:12:16] Speaker C: Why do you keep doing that? [00:12:18] Speaker A: Tell them. Tell your truth, bro. [00:12:20] Speaker C: I've never said that. [00:12:22] Speaker A: Okay. I would like to strike that from the record. [00:12:26] Speaker B: No, I believe you didn't say it. [00:12:28] Speaker A: Okay. How did you believe I said that? [00:12:30] Speaker C: Because when I said no, I said the kayaks. Why women? Bad communicators. And I believe I would say poor. Poor. [00:12:39] Speaker A: Okay. [00:12:40] Speaker C: Poor communicators. The majority of women that I have come in contact with. Majority. I won't say all. It's feeling based, just like co said. Whatever you're saying in your response to whatever or whatever you're trying to communicate with me is not, nine times out of ten, not factual. [00:13:02] Speaker B: Okay. [00:13:04] Speaker C: I answered the question. [00:13:05] Speaker A: Okay. I'm just, like, in that sense now, as an example. Eddie, do you think he answered the question? Because he often answers questions that way. [00:13:17] Speaker D: I'm just asking that you feel that makes women poor communication. [00:13:22] Speaker C: I didn't say I feel. It's my opinion. [00:13:24] Speaker A: Okay. [00:13:25] Speaker D: What has formed your opinion? [00:13:27] Speaker C: My experience with the majority of the. [00:13:29] Speaker D: Women that I have dealt with how does communication go? [00:13:33] Speaker C: You talk. [00:13:34] Speaker D: Prime example of how it worked. [00:13:36] Speaker C: No, you talk. We have a conversation that's communication. [00:13:40] Speaker D: But it was poor. So what made it poor? [00:13:43] Speaker C: Because if we're in the midst of, especially if we're in the midst of, let's say, a heated discussion, if I'm trying to get a point across as far as it ain't even got to be a feeling, this is what happened, then it's a lot of feeling back because that's, the people that I have been in conversations with that are female. The majority. I didn't say all don't want to make an absolute statement. So I don't want to offend. But to the people that I have that this was the situation, it's more feeling based in their answer, which has nothing. And it sometimes goes, well, you know, back in 1972, we're talking about today. We ain't talking about nothing that you don't held onto for forever. [00:14:28] Speaker D: I understand. [00:14:30] Speaker A: So how are you coping with your trauma? [00:14:31] Speaker D: Yeah, because in today I move on. [00:14:34] Speaker C: I don't carry one thing to the next. That much I can't tell. [00:14:38] Speaker B: I believe you're dismissive, though. [00:14:40] Speaker C: I'm dismissive? [00:14:41] Speaker D: Very. [00:14:42] Speaker C: Of what? [00:14:42] Speaker B: And I believe when somebody is talking to you, sometimes that you become dismissive or not. [00:14:48] Speaker C: Check out. [00:14:49] Speaker B: Yeah. And then mostly now you're thinking, you're saying that they're poor communicators when you are as well. [00:14:57] Speaker C: Oh, I know I suck. [00:14:59] Speaker D: And that's why it's easy to spot on someone else. [00:15:01] Speaker C: Yeah, I know I suck when somebody. There's a couple of things that I do that I know I do. [00:15:09] Speaker A: Okay. [00:15:09] Speaker C: One, I'm defensive. I automatically feel like there's an attack. So I go on the defense and I'm already. [00:15:17] Speaker B: We've seen that when on high alert. [00:15:19] Speaker C: All right, that's one. The next thing I do, I think I over explain sales pointed this out to me. I don't want everything else. Just get to whatever the point is. [00:15:30] Speaker B: Well, sometimes you got to get to a to get to b to get. [00:15:33] Speaker C: To c. Well, I'm trying to work on that. And then if we're having a disagreement and you get to cursing or raising your voice, I'm out. [00:15:45] Speaker D: I mean, I get that though, because. [00:15:49] Speaker C: We'Re not talking. [00:15:51] Speaker D: Well, we're not going to do that. [00:15:52] Speaker C: You can continue on whatever you got going on, but we're not about to have a conversation. [00:15:57] Speaker B: How often does your conversations with women end like that? [00:16:03] Speaker C: Not very often. I'm just saying. But I mean, in that I'm talking about communication. I'm not even talking about communication with women when I'm talking about what I'm bad at, what I'm not good, what I'm poor at. I'm talking about communication. Men, women, children. [00:16:16] Speaker B: Well, I was talking about with women because you said those were the poor communicators. [00:16:20] Speaker D: Communicators. [00:16:21] Speaker B: I was trying to see where, why. [00:16:23] Speaker C: But that covered everything. [00:16:25] Speaker D: But sometimes women feel the same way too, though, when it comes. [00:16:28] Speaker A: Tell us how women feel. [00:16:29] Speaker D: Yeah, because sometimes if I ask you something, I don't want to hear all that either. [00:16:32] Speaker A: You don't? [00:16:33] Speaker D: I don't. [00:16:34] Speaker A: Let me ask you this because we've never had our first official argument. Okay, now I want to argue. How many sentences would you say you put together before you want to answer? Is it like a paragraph or is it literally a sentence? No, we have to be honest here now, not communication. [00:16:52] Speaker D: Yeah, we have to be honest. So just like you asked me, like you're on the way. Just, yeah, I didn't go into, I felt like the gym this morning and forgot. Just, yes, I'm on the way because you didn't need all that. You know what I mean? [00:17:03] Speaker A: Okay, but we're talking about when you're asking the question. [00:17:05] Speaker D: When I'm asking the question, I just ask the question. [00:17:07] Speaker A: So walk us through this. [00:17:10] Speaker D: Walk us, give us scenario. Let's do that. Can you do that? [00:17:13] Speaker A: I don't know your personal scenarios, but let's just say someone say a gentleman hasn't been as attentive as he needs to be and with his homely chores. Okay, go. [00:17:26] Speaker D: You haven't been to him, to the house. What's going on? [00:17:28] Speaker C: Oh, stop it. [00:17:29] Speaker D: You go, I didn't like, blah, blah, blah. What's going on? [00:17:33] Speaker A: What's going on? Well, why would you ask him what's going on? [00:17:35] Speaker D: What's changed? What's happened? That's it. [00:17:38] Speaker A: And what kind of response do you usually get from that? [00:17:42] Speaker D: It depends on what he has to say and then it's. [00:17:44] Speaker A: Okay, well, I'm saying what you usually get. [00:17:45] Speaker D: Yeah, I mean, I can't say what I usually get because I don't like the clab. [00:17:50] Speaker A: You don't like the what? [00:17:51] Speaker D: I don't like you at my house. Like in my house, living in. [00:17:54] Speaker A: You know what I mean? [00:17:55] Speaker D: So I can't really get into that much, but we just going to find out what's going on and whatever your answer is, we just go from there. I can't get mad at your response. It's not mine. [00:18:12] Speaker A: You don't get mad at his response. [00:18:13] Speaker D: What can I get mad about? [00:18:16] Speaker A: I'm not a woman. I don't know. Women don't seem to. [00:18:18] Speaker D: As long as you're not fussing and cussing and cursing me out, then what? Not need to be mad about. [00:18:23] Speaker A: Okay. It's not as a riveting as response that I hope for. So we have to figure out how to get you riled up. What you think about Nick throwing shots through the podcast? [00:18:36] Speaker D: Throwing shots? [00:18:37] Speaker A: That may be her significant other. I've been listening the past few weeks. I haven't been here, and there's been several shots, indictments. [00:18:47] Speaker B: All I said was one thing. [00:18:49] Speaker A: No, you said several things. One thing. You showed a man he can go buy women drinks. We know this is not true. [00:18:55] Speaker B: Like that. [00:18:55] Speaker A: This is not true. [00:18:56] Speaker D: My woman don't drink. [00:18:57] Speaker A: It's not true. [00:18:58] Speaker C: You said, what don't you buy? [00:19:00] Speaker D: I don't care. No woman don't drink. [00:19:05] Speaker A: I think you almost said like, it's about to be over. That is not proper communication with your significant other. And the podcast isn't real because it's on the Internet. [00:19:16] Speaker D: Maybe they communicate through podcasts. [00:19:18] Speaker A: He don't have a podcast. [00:19:21] Speaker B: I told him before I came. [00:19:24] Speaker A: Is that effective communication? Did that communication get you what you need? [00:19:28] Speaker B: That was last week. [00:19:30] Speaker A: That was three weeks in a row that you were sending little. [00:19:33] Speaker B: No, it was not. Tell me something else that's not from last week. If you could tell me something else that's not from last week, then you. [00:19:41] Speaker A: Said you was about to be single. [00:19:42] Speaker B: That was last week. [00:19:43] Speaker A: No. That was multiple shows. [00:19:46] Speaker B: No. [00:19:47] Speaker A: Okay, so the fact that you said it doesn't matter. It's just when you said it. And that's a point sometimes people go through when they have a weak argument. Tell me what I said it. Repeat what I said, and you might get an or the wrong. [00:20:02] Speaker D: It was like. [00:20:02] Speaker A: I didn't say you said. [00:20:03] Speaker B: I said it multiple times on multiple episodes. [00:20:06] Speaker A: Would everybody agree with. Nick sent three people here, listened. [00:20:12] Speaker C: It was different. [00:20:13] Speaker A: At some point, did she know? [00:20:14] Speaker B: He said, I said I was about to be single on multiple episodes. So tell me when. [00:20:18] Speaker A: I didn't. You asked for an example, and I had it one time. [00:20:21] Speaker C: You asked for an example. [00:20:22] Speaker A: See that? [00:20:23] Speaker C: And he said the one example. [00:20:25] Speaker A: Yes. [00:20:26] Speaker C: What he said was you threw multiple shots over a series of episodes, and then he gave an example of what. [00:20:33] Speaker A: He wouldn't do on the show. What do you need? The dates? What do you need? You have a very weak argument. If communication goes like this, you won't be single. You're going to be single. [00:20:42] Speaker B: I am talking to someone else. [00:20:43] Speaker A: Okay. [00:20:44] Speaker B: On what other episode? Because you weren't here. [00:20:48] Speaker A: I did listen to the show, but he wasn't here. [00:20:51] Speaker B: Go ahead. [00:20:52] Speaker A: See? Meaningless points, Mr. Neek. [00:20:55] Speaker D: To know that things are well. [00:20:56] Speaker A: Who said again? [00:20:57] Speaker D: Mr. Neek? Out there, things are well. [00:21:03] Speaker A: Everything's cool. [00:21:04] Speaker D: Things are well. [00:21:05] Speaker A: Okay, you said we got some talking points. We probably got Mr. Neek. [00:21:08] Speaker D: Mr. Neek. [00:21:09] Speaker A: I'm not sure that's what you call Mr. Neat. No. Okay. [00:21:15] Speaker B: I'm just going to stay here quiet on that. [00:21:17] Speaker A: Okay. Neat. [00:21:17] Speaker C: Well, we're talking about communication, but everything's good now. Everything's hunky door. [00:21:21] Speaker B: Everything is what it is. [00:21:22] Speaker A: Wow. [00:21:24] Speaker C: All right, so that sounds. So what do you think? What do you guys think? And I'll throw this to you, Eddie. What do you think, India? I mean, Eddie. [00:21:31] Speaker A: Jesus Christ. [00:21:32] Speaker C: I'll be messing that up. All right. What do you think? Are some signs that communication is headed in a downward spiral in a relationship. [00:21:40] Speaker D: When there is none? I mean, that's the first telltale sign is when it slows down. When you have one person that's doing all the talking and you only have one person that's taking it, that's when you can tell it's on a decline. [00:21:56] Speaker C: What about you? [00:21:56] Speaker D: When it's not a two way street. [00:21:58] Speaker A: What's not a two way street? [00:22:00] Speaker D: When communication isn't flowing like a street would. [00:22:04] Speaker A: Okay. I would say their face. [00:22:09] Speaker C: Their face? [00:22:10] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:22:10] Speaker B: Expressions. [00:22:11] Speaker A: Yeah. They're acting like they're on the episode of power, doing a lot of face acting. They want you to say something to them, and they doing that. Okay, what's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong? I know something is wrong. What's wrong? You wanted attention. You got the attention. Now it's just like. [00:22:30] Speaker C: I think that's. [00:22:31] Speaker A: What do you mean, what's wrong? [00:22:32] Speaker C: That's my biggest one. [00:22:33] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:22:33] Speaker D: I don't like passive aggression. [00:22:35] Speaker C: Whatever it is you're doing, something is obviously wrong. And I ask a question. Hey, what's wrong? [00:22:44] Speaker A: Yes. [00:22:44] Speaker C: Nothing. No, I'm looking at you and I can tell. [00:22:49] Speaker A: No, you're literally crying, saying nothing is wrong. Crying. I just cry. What? [00:22:53] Speaker D: Because they want you to ask, okay. [00:22:55] Speaker A: But somebody asks, you got to answer. [00:22:57] Speaker D: Now you're going to lie. That's what you're doing. [00:23:00] Speaker A: That's what women do. [00:23:00] Speaker B: They lie. Why got to be women? [00:23:02] Speaker A: Because you all speaking for the ladies. [00:23:04] Speaker D: That's everybody that's happened to me with men before. What the passive aggression, like, what's wrong? Nothing. [00:23:11] Speaker A: Then he started crying. He didn't start crying. [00:23:13] Speaker D: We talk about the lying. Because if you're saying nothing's wrong, something's wrong. You're lying. [00:23:17] Speaker A: So that is a lie. [00:23:18] Speaker D: That's a lie. [00:23:19] Speaker A: So you would agree that that is a lie. [00:23:20] Speaker D: That's a lie. [00:23:21] Speaker A: Okay. That's for the women. That is a lie. Eddie Griffin told you. [00:23:26] Speaker B: For the men, too. [00:23:26] Speaker D: It's a lie. Well, you all have to talk for the passive aggression. Like, that's childish, man. I don't have time to be asking. You was wrong a thousand times. [00:23:33] Speaker A: So how many times should you ask? [00:23:35] Speaker D: You get once or twice, maybe twice, three times if I like you enough, and that's it. Don't piss me off. [00:23:42] Speaker A: Why would you get pissed off? [00:23:43] Speaker C: No, she's talking about right now. [00:23:45] Speaker A: Yeah, but why would you get pissed off? [00:23:47] Speaker D: Because it's like you do that to children. [00:23:50] Speaker A: Is this your person? [00:23:52] Speaker D: Yeah, but this is like you do this to children. So it's like I'm going to just act like nothing's wrong with you after. [00:23:57] Speaker A: That because we're all adult children. [00:23:59] Speaker D: If you tell me, of course that's. [00:24:02] Speaker A: What we're speaking to. So maybe you're speaking to their inner child at that time. So that's why it's a child. [00:24:06] Speaker D: But what if this is a constant thing? Do I have to constantly speak to your inner child and walk on eggshells? Because I'm like 158. I'm too heavy for that. [00:24:15] Speaker A: You say you weigh 158? Okay. I don't think so. [00:24:20] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:24:22] Speaker A: Okay. So if a person finds himself in that situation, this is the person you're with, let's say some long term relationship. [00:24:31] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:24:32] Speaker A: What should the other person do, in your opinion, to the panel? [00:24:37] Speaker D: To the other person. The other person should say either, I can't handle this right now, is a conversation I'm not ready to have because typically, if somebody's not talking about it, it's because they don't know how to process those emotions or they're not comfortable doing. So I feel like the appropriate response is, I can't have this conversation right now. Give me a minute. Give me a moment. I'm not ready. But just to act like nothing is wrong and you're not communicating, you're clearly upset about something. You don't do that. [00:25:09] Speaker A: Okay, neat. [00:25:11] Speaker B: Responding to that or just responding to how the actual question. [00:25:16] Speaker A: That was jokes. I'm confused. [00:25:18] Speaker C: No, he basically said to the panel, how do you deal with a person who's acting? [00:25:24] Speaker A: Yeah. What should your actions. What should your actions be after that happens? [00:25:28] Speaker B: Oh, once you ask, just going about your day. [00:25:32] Speaker A: Okay. That's how it works? [00:25:34] Speaker D: Yes. [00:25:35] Speaker B: I can't tell them how to respond to me. Like, if they say there's nothing wrong, then I'm going to act like nothing is wrong. [00:25:42] Speaker A: Okay, so are you saying men should do this or women should do this? Both. Okay. [00:25:48] Speaker C: I don't think it works. [00:25:49] Speaker A: You sound like, I know it doesn't work like that, but I'm not letting me take me there. That doesn't work like that at all. [00:25:55] Speaker B: I mean, it doesn't because if I know something is wrong and I say nothing is wrong, I just don't feel like talking about it. [00:26:02] Speaker A: Why can't you just say I don't feel like. [00:26:04] Speaker B: Because it may start a conversation to where I don't want to have. [00:26:09] Speaker A: Trust me, when you tell a man I don't want to talk about it, he probably wants to. [00:26:15] Speaker B: Know something's obviously wrong. Nothing's wrong. [00:26:18] Speaker C: No, but if you come, but what cl was saying was, hey, if you say, but you didn't do that just now, what it is, is if you go, something's wrong, but I don't feel like talking about it right now. That at least lets me know. Okay, you need a minute? Let me give you a minute. [00:26:39] Speaker B: But I can't tell somebody how to respond and they can't tell me how to respond. So if I ask, or if somebody asked me, is something wrong? And I said, no, nothing's wrong, even though I'm acting like something is wrong, they don't have the right to say no, you should say it like this. Say something is wrong. You just don't feel like talking about it. [00:26:59] Speaker A: I don't think anybody said that. [00:27:01] Speaker B: That's how you're explaining it. [00:27:03] Speaker C: We're explaining it in this moment, but I don't think in the moment I'm. [00:27:06] Speaker D: Going to say, you should say that. [00:27:07] Speaker C: This is what you should say. I'm not going to say that to the person in that moment. [00:27:11] Speaker D: No. It's just like, what's wrong with you? Or you move on. [00:27:16] Speaker B: You're explaining how you want to hear it. [00:27:18] Speaker A: Yes. You're explaining how you want to hear it? [00:27:21] Speaker B: Yeah. You're explaining how you want to hear them say they have a problem and they don't feel like talking about it. [00:27:28] Speaker C: No, because I think in that sense, when you tell me there's not a problem, when there's obviously a problem, there's so many different ways that it can go. Do I need to stay? [00:27:40] Speaker A: Do I need to go because men are thoroughly confused. [00:27:42] Speaker C: Yeah, we don't know what to. Because if I go and you wanted me to stay, now that's a whole nother situation. And if I stay and you want me to. I asked what was wrong. [00:27:53] Speaker B: No, if you don't know whether you need to stay or go, ask. Well, do I need to stay? [00:27:58] Speaker C: That's just an example of an action. I'm just saying it's many different things that could be the action that I decide to take. I'm just using those as two examples. I'm not going to ask you, do I need to stay? Are you hungry? Are you this. Should I go? I'm not about to go through a list of stuff. All you could say is, right now I don't feel like talking. Yeah, right now I don't feel like talking about it. [00:28:17] Speaker B: If you come in a room and you ask me, is something wrong? I say no. And you're like, okay, well, you want me to stay? Yeah. [00:28:26] Speaker C: One time I was told no. It was my job to figure it out. [00:28:30] Speaker A: Don't do that. [00:28:31] Speaker D: No. [00:28:31] Speaker A: I was like, okay, nothing's wrong. [00:28:35] Speaker D: I'm going to get upset because why? You keep asking if you should stay or go and all that. I'm going to just be like, I just don't feel like talking about it right now and I don't got a capacity for it. You don't got to ask me nothing else after that. [00:28:50] Speaker A: Really? [00:28:51] Speaker D: You really don't? [00:28:52] Speaker A: Okay. I just know as a guy, a gentleman, a man and a half, that if your woman tells you a man and a half, a man and a half. [00:29:04] Speaker B: Okay. [00:29:05] Speaker A: If your woman tells you that she doesn't want to talk about something, you have to be very careful of your next move. Very careful, because this. [00:29:14] Speaker D: Don't start trying to talk about it. [00:29:16] Speaker A: No, that ain't the point. Don't go off and start having fun. Call your boy. And you all laughing and giggling on the phone, be a problem in the house. Even though he left you alone, he can't go in the next room and be holling on the phone or enjoy. [00:29:34] Speaker C: Himself or go about the day you. [00:29:37] Speaker B: Want to leave and go about your. [00:29:38] Speaker A: Day because you want your partner to be a certain level of mad or don't have plans like, I was going out anyhow. So got you and leave. It's going to be a problem. And women have to stop. And I'm only talking about women and men because that's what I have experience with. So I'm not excluding anyone. My cousin out there. I'm not excluding nobody, but you cannot have fun. You can't walk away and enjoy yourself in peace. And that's not fair. And women don't want peace when they're upset. They want peace when they have peace. But you can't have too much fun or you're communicating with another person. [00:30:25] Speaker D: Why can't you communicate with another person? [00:30:28] Speaker A: Because the house is sad when the mama is sad. Everybody pulled to be quiet. It's not anything like you can just go do what you want to do and have a good grand old time. You go jump on the game right quick. She going to look at you like you crazy. [00:30:42] Speaker D: It's just a look, though. [00:30:42] Speaker A: Like it's one dish in the sink. She's like, what are you doing? What are you doing? And she's going to want to talk, or he is going to want to talk. [00:30:53] Speaker D: Now, she said she didn't want to talk, right? [00:30:55] Speaker A: That don't mean that what women say. No, women use words loosely a lot of times. [00:31:03] Speaker D: Maybe I'm stubborn. That could be it, too. But if I don't want to talk about it right now, you ain't going to hear peep out of me. I'm good. I'm cool. [00:31:11] Speaker A: Feel like you send a message to somebody. Some subliminals being taken here on the show. [00:31:19] Speaker D: Like, I'm cool. [00:31:21] Speaker A: I want you and Nick to use your platform for good and for the good. Okay? [00:31:30] Speaker C: Heartfelt.com did an article talking about the seven signs your relationship is in a communication breakdown. Number one, disagreements always lead to fights. [00:31:39] Speaker B: Not always. [00:31:40] Speaker A: Some people don't know how to disagree, though. [00:31:43] Speaker C: Web was saying this is how you know the communication is starting to break down. [00:31:46] Speaker B: Okay. [00:31:47] Speaker D: You all can't even have a conversation. Yeah. [00:31:49] Speaker B: Aside of laying down, respect your opinions. [00:31:54] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:31:55] Speaker A: You think people respect your opinion? [00:31:59] Speaker B: Always. [00:31:59] Speaker D: People don't respect opinions. [00:32:00] Speaker A: People don't respect your opinions. [00:32:02] Speaker D: Please. People don't respect people's opinions. [00:32:04] Speaker A: Why not? [00:32:04] Speaker D: Because nobody wants to hear what people think. People only want to hear what they want to hear. [00:32:08] Speaker A: When you say people, you mean women? [00:32:10] Speaker D: I mean men and women. [00:32:12] Speaker A: Okay, I know. I want to be sure. [00:32:15] Speaker D: I mean men and women. [00:32:16] Speaker A: Men and women and women. [00:32:18] Speaker D: See, we all do the same things. We just do in different ways, but people won't agree with that. And that's really not feeling that. We really all do the same things. We just do in different ways. [00:32:29] Speaker A: You think maybe women have more problems. [00:32:33] Speaker D: With opinions and men have more problems with feelings? [00:32:37] Speaker A: Okay, well, let's talk about both. [00:32:39] Speaker D: We all have the problem. It's just that we do it in different ways. [00:32:42] Speaker A: Okay, well, let's talk about feelings. And let's talk about feelings. [00:32:48] Speaker D: That's where we balance each other out at. We help you all feel. You all help us with the logic. You get what I'm saying? That's where we balance out at. Sometimes we get into our feelings, we lose the logic. You all sometimes are so logic based that you all forget about the feelings of the people around you. [00:33:05] Speaker A: Okay. [00:33:06] Speaker D: The willingly dense part of that. [00:33:07] Speaker A: So how important are the feelings? [00:33:09] Speaker D: The feelings really only matter about 10% of the time, if that. If we're talking about it. But if you were going to just say, blatantly point out orders, blah, blah, blah, I need this. I want this. I got to have this. Without acknowledging the energy and the feeling that's in the room, you're still ruining it. [00:33:27] Speaker A: How would one gauge someone else's feelings? How would one gauge someone else's feelings? [00:33:31] Speaker D: Feelings. Because you attract bees with honey. Not shit. [00:33:36] Speaker A: I'm talking about feelings. [00:33:38] Speaker D: The same thing. You attract bees with honey. [00:33:41] Speaker B: You got to let someone feel their feelings, right? [00:33:44] Speaker D: You attract bees with honey, meet them. [00:33:46] Speaker B: Where they're at at the moment. [00:33:47] Speaker A: So what does it matter what I say about your feelings if they're your feelings? [00:33:51] Speaker D: The feelings belong to you. But still, if this is your person, this is whatever. We're not going to pretend like we all need some type of homeostasis. We need that balance. We're not going to act like this is all. We're just robots out here, because we're not. Let's just save that. We're going to save it. That's what we're going to do. We all do the same things, period, point blank, in different ways. And we try to cover with masculinity and femininity, soft life or him and her. We do the same thing. [00:34:20] Speaker A: Do we? We do. I don't agree with that. [00:34:23] Speaker D: We do. [00:34:27] Speaker A: The reason I don't agree is because sometimes with people's feelings, they want you to feel what they feel. And if I haven't had the same experiences, I don't have the same reasoning. I can't ever feel what you feel. [00:34:41] Speaker D: Right. [00:34:42] Speaker A: Of course you're going to feel differently about yourself than I would. [00:34:46] Speaker D: And we all do that, though. [00:34:48] Speaker A: But I'm not debating whether we all do it. It's just, how do we do it better? With proper communication. [00:34:55] Speaker D: Proper communication? Active listening. Not just listening to respond. Okay, we actually need to go back. We said this in a previous episode. What did you hear? Like, I know what I said. But what did you get from that? I said I didn't want to talk right now, but he probably got, I don't want to talk to you. I can see that you get what I'm saying. Instead of saying, I don't want to talk right now. It's not a you thing. It just can mean right now. Whatever I'm dealing with on my own, personal, as an individual, I don't have the space to communicate right now. And he could see that as well. You just don't want to talk to me. [00:35:33] Speaker A: I mean, you are talking to him, but you're right. You didn't say that. [00:35:38] Speaker D: I didn't say that. [00:35:39] Speaker A: You didn't say that. [00:35:39] Speaker D: So we have to go into, what did they hear? How did we say it? Because we do have to work on our tone. Because sometimes a flat response can trigger something or too much of an elated response can trigger something. You get what I'm saying? [00:35:53] Speaker A: I don't believe in tone. [00:35:54] Speaker D: Yeah, I think it's a made up tone. Sometimes our tone can affect the listener, the other listener. It can. [00:36:00] Speaker A: I'm not saying it's not, but I would have to get a better understanding. [00:36:04] Speaker D: Our body language and everything says it all. If you're like, yeah, how? [00:36:07] Speaker A: I know you know how to read body language. [00:36:09] Speaker D: Some people can. [00:36:10] Speaker A: That's what I'm saying. But how do I gaze that you know how to do that effectively? [00:36:13] Speaker D: But you might not do it effectively, but we see it and we do. [00:36:17] Speaker A: So when that man asks you what's wrong and your body's saying one thing, but you saying ain't nothing wrong. [00:36:21] Speaker D: Saying nothing wrong. Like if you walking swamped over. [00:36:24] Speaker A: But see, my thing with that is if you're dishonest, then the rest of our conversation is dishonest. [00:36:31] Speaker D: Exactly. [00:36:31] Speaker A: Because you're being defensive because you were dishonest. So that means the woman was wrong. I'm just asking, lord, how much money. [00:36:42] Speaker D: That means both people were wrong and both things can be true at the same time. [00:36:47] Speaker A: No, you're telling me. You sound like everybody gets a participation trophy. That's not the truth. [00:36:52] Speaker D: Both people can be wrong at the same time. [00:36:54] Speaker A: Okay, but you can be wronger because you lied in the beginning. Not you personally, but you as a person. You said nothing's wrong. That is a lie. [00:37:04] Speaker D: That's a flat out lie. [00:37:05] Speaker A: So if you don't apologize or reestablish your lie, then our whole conversations in vain, and it's your fault. [00:37:11] Speaker D: And the thing is, people aren't going to do that. It's not men or women. People are not going to do that. They're not going to go back and say, you know what? I'm sorry, that I said nothing was wrong. Here's what's wrong. There's only a small slither, people. [00:37:24] Speaker A: I thought we both do that because men do that all the time. Men wake up and apologize. We don't even think, yeah, I'm sorry. Shucks, I don't know what happened. It's my fault. [00:37:36] Speaker D: Yes, but when people have evolved, both people will always be apologizing. So I'm saying it just depends on where you're at. [00:37:44] Speaker A: If that was true, what you're saying, then there would be no breakups. Or there'll be less, a whole lot less breakups, a whole lot less divorces. If that's true, we both do the same thing. Because we don't. [00:37:57] Speaker D: No, because you have other factors that play into it. [00:37:59] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:38:00] Speaker A: Okay, hold on. Give me the factors. [00:38:02] Speaker D: You have other factors that just make up a factor. [00:38:04] Speaker A: Because we don't want to speak personally. [00:38:06] Speaker D: Here, why relationships don't work. You could just be selfish. It doesn't always have to be cheating. [00:38:11] Speaker A: Or everybody's selfish, but it says a. [00:38:13] Speaker D: Certain degree of selfishness. [00:38:15] Speaker A: Finances. [00:38:15] Speaker D: You could be emotionally immature. You could just generally be a bad person. [00:38:22] Speaker A: Well, how come women can't find this out earlier, but later you all do. [00:38:26] Speaker D: The same things, though. You all choose bad women. You all love being cheated on, too, sometimes. Okay, where men take women back after getting cheated. [00:38:42] Speaker A: And you would say that. [00:38:43] Speaker D: They won't, where they don't, and then publicly men are out here taking it too. [00:38:51] Speaker A: I'm going to keep these brothers lips up in prayer, but I don't know anybody who takes. Wow. You take her back after she cheat. [00:39:00] Speaker D: Yes, I know men that do that. [00:39:01] Speaker A: Well, I'm not a cheater, so I don't know. I don't understand the lifestyle you all choose. [00:39:06] Speaker D: Women that are rude, ratchet, can't keep up with them. You know, she's not a dime. She can't manage no dollar. And sometimes you all dive right into it. [00:39:13] Speaker A: What you mean dime manager? What are you talking about? [00:39:15] Speaker D: She's not a dime if she can't manage a dollar. And you all will get with her. [00:39:18] Speaker A: Oh, she's not a dime and can't manage a dollar if she can't manage a dollar. [00:39:24] Speaker D: Selfish. That is promiscuous. That are emotionally unintelligent women. Yes. You all get with these women and then you all do sit down and have these big think pieces on what women are like when you just mess around ahead of ho you sell. [00:39:36] Speaker A: Go. I've never been there. Go ahead, tell us. [00:39:46] Speaker B: Rebuttal. [00:39:47] Speaker A: Rebuttal. I haven't dealt with that because I haven't dealt with that personally. I just haven't, I mean, let me open my phone. [00:40:00] Speaker D: Next on the list for respecting yourself then, kings. Because men, you all don't respect yourself. [00:40:06] Speaker A: Honey, you say men don't. [00:40:09] Speaker C: I think you make an absolute statement. You can't make an absolute statement. [00:40:12] Speaker A: Well, you can make an absolute statement. I'm okay with it. Because we can defend an absolute statement because you said men don't respect themselves. [00:40:19] Speaker D: You all don't respect yourself. So I said thank you all for doing that. [00:40:22] Speaker A: If you all, oh, yes, you're welcome. [00:40:24] Speaker D: You all haven't ran into them like. [00:40:26] Speaker C: I mean, you run into them over. [00:40:27] Speaker A: The course of your life. I mean, you don't go with them. Good for you. [00:40:34] Speaker D: But there are men who just keep running to the bad ones like they have a bad luck out here. They're not choosing wisely. And we have the same thing, like choose better, king, choose better. [00:40:44] Speaker A: Okay. [00:40:45] Speaker C: But a portion of that is Internet, social media, what they may think they see and want, and then when they get that to a certain degree, it's not exactly what they thought it was, and then they maybe happen to swim in that same pool of circle. [00:41:09] Speaker A: I thought it just comes down to personal selection. [00:41:12] Speaker C: That too. I just think that sometimes unavailability, especially with social media, especially, it affects some people's personal selection because what they see, but it might be what they want. [00:41:25] Speaker D: Not knowing the person that what you surround yourself. [00:41:28] Speaker A: Surround yourself around you surround yourself. [00:41:31] Speaker B: Yeah. If this is what you're around all the time, this is your selection. [00:41:35] Speaker D: That's what you're going to do. You're only on social media, fishing. That's all you're going to have is a social media selection. [00:41:43] Speaker A: I'm the old man of the bunch. [00:41:45] Speaker B: You're not that old. [00:41:46] Speaker A: I've never dated via the Internet or anything to do on the Internet. Why would I meet up to me now and I would have fear nobody in the room or out there. Or out there, out there like our friends. I don't see how you could go on like a dating thing and just pick a girl. That's crazy. [00:42:08] Speaker B: Really? [00:42:08] Speaker A: That's crazy. And I used to think the guys or the girls were like weirdos, but they're not because I know them. I know people who do it and they're cool, but I don't see how you do it? That's crazy. [00:42:22] Speaker B: My cousin does it. When she came on the show, has. [00:42:26] Speaker A: Her results been very good? [00:42:27] Speaker B: Has she held up that? [00:42:29] Speaker A: No, she still talks to people. [00:42:33] Speaker B: I mean, same person. But it hasn't gone. [00:42:35] Speaker A: You're not getting new people. You're just trying to get a better version of what you thought you was getting the first time. And it's just a repetitive cycle. [00:42:42] Speaker D: I can't do it this way. [00:42:43] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:42:43] Speaker A: Well, I mean, when I was hunting, I did it in person. [00:42:48] Speaker C: In the wild. [00:42:48] Speaker A: In the wild in a while. Nobody introduced like, what's up, queen? [00:42:55] Speaker B: As soon as you say, what's up, queen, time to leave. Yeah, sometimes going to get that grand rising. [00:43:01] Speaker A: Yeah, sometimes with grand rising. [00:43:04] Speaker D: Please. No, no grand rising. [00:43:06] Speaker A: Well, see, I think people have hidden behind the Internet and that's why communication lacks so much now. [00:43:13] Speaker C: It's easier to deal with rejection. [00:43:14] Speaker A: Yeah, rejection. [00:43:15] Speaker C: For them people, I mean, rejection is good. [00:43:20] Speaker A: You build up a tolerance, character. Having a woman call you ugly really makes you like, you know what? I'm a regroup. That's humbling. That's very humbling. Why are you laughing like that? That's very humbling. Listen, this girl. This girl's in fifth grade. [00:43:41] Speaker B: Oh, fifth grade. [00:43:42] Speaker A: Fifth grade. I never forget this. [00:43:43] Speaker D: She broke your heart? [00:43:44] Speaker A: No, she broke my heart. She told me how to big head. And no family never told me. Nobody. I was like, what? And she said it. So demonstrative. She just said it. [00:43:54] Speaker B: And it's like the tone, I ain't. [00:43:57] Speaker A: Want to walk by a mirror all day. I was like, what I do got a big. I got to grow into this head. I got to do something. Well, I'm going to do some push ups. I said, I got to do something because it can change your life. So this is very humbling, but you can make a decision right here. Now. I just accepted it. [00:44:21] Speaker B: And that's what you're supposed to do and move on. [00:44:23] Speaker A: Yes. And then I start hanging with ugly friends. You don't have a big. No, I don't. [00:44:28] Speaker B: Their head is bigger. [00:44:29] Speaker A: They have way more deformities than me, so it's cool. Pick your friend group. You know what I'm saying? You pick a good friend group. You don't want to be around. Too handsome. No, not too many handsome dudes. Or rich ones either. Well, come over with that rich stuff, man. Relax, man. Relax. Trying to hold all the girls. Relax. Okay. Just give it out. Points yourself. All right. [00:44:59] Speaker C: I don't know how we ended up there. [00:45:01] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't either. I don't either. [00:45:02] Speaker C: Trump. Next one on the list was on the list of things that showed the breakdown in communication. Interruptions. [00:45:11] Speaker A: Cl, interruptions. Now what is the interruption? [00:45:15] Speaker B: I love how you say his name. [00:45:17] Speaker C: No, I was throwing it to him. [00:45:18] Speaker A: He's throwing host. [00:45:19] Speaker C: I was throwing it to him. [00:45:20] Speaker A: He did a double entendre there, but we'll get to that. I saw what he was trying to do, but I think a point of an interruption is when somebody has reached a point where they're not telling the truth or they're telling me their feelings versus what happened. Because black people's favorite thing. You disrespected me. How? I'm disrespecting you. How did I disrespect you? You said what you was going to do. I said what I was going to do so we could be equal in disrespect. But I didn't disrespect you anymore. You disrespecting me. If you threaten me and I threaten you just because my threat is a little harsher and it probably feels like I can do it. I didn't disrespect you. I didn't. [00:46:03] Speaker B: Talking about interruption. [00:46:05] Speaker A: Yes. That's why you have to interrupt people. I can't let you just continuously. And sometimes women talk in paragraphs and run on sentences. And if you hit me with nine different things, we have to address them one by one. Because in your mind, you just told me everything. I did and it was true. [00:46:22] Speaker B: Okay. [00:46:22] Speaker A: Because when two, seven, four and three were total untruths, one, three and six, that's me. [00:46:29] Speaker C: I did. [00:46:29] Speaker B: Okay. Because at the beginning we asked about our communication. I feel like you interrupt a lot. [00:46:35] Speaker A: I have to. [00:46:36] Speaker B: But before it even gets to the nine page letter, nobody can start a sentence. And when you don't agree, when you get to a point of you don't agree, you immediately interrupt immediately. [00:46:51] Speaker A: That's not true. [00:46:53] Speaker B: Okay. [00:46:54] Speaker A: Yes. Because why would I be so rude for you to say the and not be like, no, we're having a conversation. It is equal if I talk faster. That's on you. [00:47:07] Speaker B: But you have pause it to ask a question. [00:47:12] Speaker A: But you don't ask a question. You ask a question and you give me the answer before I answer it. So if we're having a conversation and you ask a question, if I was responsive enough to allow you to ask the question, you should allow me to answer the question. [00:47:26] Speaker B: But if you're asking me a question and I'm answering it, why would you interrupt me? Because that's something you do. [00:47:32] Speaker A: I think we all do. It. It's not a cl thing. It's a human thing. [00:47:35] Speaker B: But I'm telling you because I'm not. [00:47:37] Speaker D: Talking about all I'm talking about. [00:47:38] Speaker A: Well, I have to interrupt because you don't know what you're talking about. You don't know what you're talking about. You don't know what you're talking about. So I want to stop you before we get there. I just know a lot of things, Nick. I don't know. [00:47:54] Speaker B: You know everything. [00:47:55] Speaker A: No, I had a big head as a child, and then I learned a lot, and then my hair covered my body, but I was already packed full of knowledge. That's not true. That's not true. Listen, I'm asking because I want to communicate, because, like, me and you sell. Sometimes we'd be arguing, and it don't be nothing. What? We'd be arguing. But I try to explain where I'm coming from. Sometimes I can't comprehend. Maybe I got to learn disabilities. You just can't keep telling me the same thing and hope I give you a different answer. Well, you said this. Yes. When I said it, I meant it the first time. I don't know why you keep repeating it to me. Yes. [00:48:48] Speaker C: Oh, my God. [00:48:49] Speaker A: Yes. [00:48:49] Speaker B: That was the next question. [00:48:52] Speaker C: That's a valid point. Well, me and CF do get in arguments, and a lot of times it's me trying to explain it something to him. He'll ask the question and I'll go. And I thought my explanation was clear. He'll be like, no, you're not answering. But I always feel like it's being clear. And I sometimes have to go back and think, maybe an hour later, call him back and get it straight then. It's just the way he processes stuff and frustrates. [00:49:22] Speaker A: So you like me to be less aggressive? [00:49:24] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:49:25] Speaker A: How? [00:49:27] Speaker B: When we're having a conversation, I'll let you know. [00:49:30] Speaker A: Okay, so maybe we have, like, a button or something. [00:49:33] Speaker D: Like an aggressive button. [00:49:34] Speaker A: Yeah, like an easy button. Like, boop. Yeah, cool. [00:49:37] Speaker D: Easy, big fella. [00:49:38] Speaker A: Okay. [00:49:39] Speaker C: In the moment, they ain't going to work. [00:49:40] Speaker A: All right. [00:49:43] Speaker C: Next one up. Loss of casual intimacy. Loss of communication creates emotional distance. [00:49:49] Speaker A: Casual intimacy? [00:49:51] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:49:51] Speaker A: Is that just non sexual hanging out? Right? [00:49:55] Speaker C: Yeah. Okay. This, in turn, decreases casual intimacy. You make less eye contact. Your body language is aloof and defensive. During meals, you stare at your phone. Those little moments that most couples treasure are now a thing of the past. [00:50:11] Speaker A: That's the man's fault. [00:50:13] Speaker B: Okay, I won't disagree. [00:50:15] Speaker A: Yeah, it's the man's fault. [00:50:17] Speaker C: Explain. [00:50:17] Speaker A: Put that phone down. [00:50:20] Speaker C: You got to tell her. [00:50:20] Speaker A: But look at. Sometimes she might just tell you to put your phone down, too. But somebody has to establish some type of order in a relationship. [00:50:29] Speaker D: Got to be one and bring it back in. Somebody got to bring it back in. [00:50:32] Speaker A: They do. And I think women prefer men to do that because I don't want women to take on masculine energy or the vibe or something. [00:50:44] Speaker B: That's right. [00:50:44] Speaker D: Leave me back, please. [00:50:45] Speaker A: Yes. They don't want to do that. [00:50:47] Speaker B: A soft life. [00:50:49] Speaker A: Don't everybody want a soft life? [00:50:51] Speaker D: Everybody? [00:50:52] Speaker C: Okay, we got a few minutes left, so let's get through the rest of these. Number four. More than words. With communication breakdown strikes, couple finds counterproductive ways to get their points across. Vocal tone, sarcasm, eye rolls, passive aggression, facial expressions to Cl point. Yes. Body language, insults and put downs, gaslighting, stonewalling. And the silent treatment that is abusive. [00:51:17] Speaker A: Jesus, is that abusive? [00:51:18] Speaker D: That's very abusive. [00:51:20] Speaker B: Silent treatment is. [00:51:22] Speaker D: All of that is abusive. All of that. [00:51:26] Speaker C: Is it emotional warfare? [00:51:27] Speaker D: It is. [00:51:29] Speaker B: Silent treatment is one of the most mentally abusive things. [00:51:35] Speaker A: So if a man did that, would you tell him he need to be a man? [00:51:37] Speaker D: No, I'd be like, who is you playing with? [00:51:40] Speaker A: What do you mean? Who is you playing? What? [00:51:41] Speaker D: I mean, why are you ignoring me? Don't be weird. [00:51:44] Speaker A: Don't be weird. [00:51:45] Speaker B: She said don't be weird. [00:51:46] Speaker D: Okay. [00:51:47] Speaker C: All right. Number five, becoming strangers. A couple is not communicating in a healthy manner. Couple can become strangers. Your partner should be more of your go to person than a stranger. [00:51:58] Speaker A: No, I don't agree with that. Okay, Nick, tell us why. [00:52:06] Speaker B: Tell us why my person should be my go to. [00:52:10] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:52:12] Speaker B: Because I agree with you. I do. Like, I don't believe that my person should be my go to person, because in that moment, I may say something real. [00:52:20] Speaker D: Wow. [00:52:21] Speaker A: Okay. [00:52:23] Speaker B: And something I don't mean at the moment. So I might go to somebody I trust, tell them and then leave it there. [00:52:31] Speaker A: Because sometimes I feel like men and women, you need to talk, have friends that you share these things with, so somebody can tell you you being stupid. [00:52:39] Speaker D: Yeah, you need that. [00:52:39] Speaker A: Because when your person tells you that, it really is offensive. [00:52:43] Speaker D: It's offensive. [00:52:44] Speaker A: But sometimes your friend be like, you. Come on. [00:52:47] Speaker D: Yeah, you need that. [00:52:47] Speaker A: Friend, like, girl, you're totally tripping over nothing. [00:52:52] Speaker C: Okay, so should these people that you entrust with this, like, you talk to, should they be, let's say, if you're in a relationship, should they be in a relationship or should you talk. [00:53:02] Speaker B: Nobody could be just somebody that you. [00:53:05] Speaker C: Because some people believe that you can't discuss marital issues with people who aren't married or married. Or you can't discuss relationship stuff with single people. [00:53:18] Speaker A: I don't. But anybody can be right about anything. It has nothing to do with your status. [00:53:24] Speaker D: Exactly. [00:53:27] Speaker C: Status. [00:53:28] Speaker D: What it is. [00:53:29] Speaker A: And sometimes those people have a different perspective and you don't know what they've been privy to. [00:53:34] Speaker D: Exactly. Their own experiences. [00:53:37] Speaker B: Because people who are married sometimes are going through a harsh time. Can give you some bad advice. [00:53:41] Speaker D: Exactly. They sure can. [00:53:43] Speaker C: All right, number six, not setting goals or making plans. One of the most meaningful aspects of a relationship is working together as a team. You set goals. Perhaps you're planning a vacation or relocation. You might want to start a family or start a business. Maybe the backyard could really use a garden together. You come up with these ideas, talk about them and make them happen. If this joy is suddenly missing from your life, you may be in the midst of a communication crisis. [00:54:07] Speaker A: You want to do stuff with your girl? [00:54:08] Speaker B: Yeah, why not? [00:54:13] Speaker C: I would like to. [00:54:14] Speaker A: You would? If I'm dating you, why need to do extra. What's that? [00:54:18] Speaker C: I want to do stuff together. [00:54:19] Speaker A: We can do stuff together. [00:54:22] Speaker C: Projects and stuff. I would like to do. [00:54:24] Speaker A: Okay, that. But I wouldn't have no business. [00:54:28] Speaker D: I wouldn't have a business. [00:54:29] Speaker A: Yeah. I wouldn't have a business. I wouldn't want to plant no garden with them. [00:54:32] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:54:33] Speaker D: What's wrong with the garden? [00:54:36] Speaker A: Because everybody don't know how to garden. I don't know. But I think if you're dating, you stress the relationship. You should always date the person you're with, married or single. But I think you stress the relationship when you add all these other things. [00:54:49] Speaker D: That's true. [00:54:50] Speaker A: Like, that's my best friend. No, she don't need to be a best friend. She does not. No, he don't need to be a best friend. [00:54:58] Speaker D: No. [00:54:58] Speaker B: So, like, doing things together, experiencing things for the first time or just. [00:55:03] Speaker A: What, you mean like vacation and dating? Yeah. [00:55:06] Speaker B: Or even food, something small, like food is cool. [00:55:09] Speaker A: We eat together. That's dinner. That's dating. But I mean, that's just cooking together is cool. [00:55:14] Speaker B: Yeah, cooking together. [00:55:15] Speaker A: But I think all this inclusiveness in relationships, I don't believe in that. [00:55:19] Speaker D: I don't know. I think it just depends on how much of it you want to miss the person. You don't want to burn it out early. [00:55:26] Speaker A: You do need to miss the person. [00:55:27] Speaker D: You miss that person. [00:55:27] Speaker A: Go away and have some fun and come back and tell me about it. [00:55:30] Speaker D: Exactly. Let me miss you. [00:55:33] Speaker C: All right, last one. Competition. The goal of a couple's communication is not about winning a conversation. Not about winning a conversation is not a contest. No one should be keeping score. It's a bright red flag if you or your partner or both of you enter into discussions as if you are opponents. [00:55:53] Speaker D: It's supposed to be you versus the problem, both of you versus the problem. Not versus each other, not versus. [00:55:58] Speaker A: Do y'all take the approach as your friends? [00:56:00] Speaker D: Yes. [00:56:01] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:56:01] Speaker D: Ko my friends. Yeah, of course. Those are my sisters at this point. [00:56:05] Speaker A: So you do that with your significant other? [00:56:08] Speaker D: Yes. It's us versus the problem. I ain't got time. [00:56:13] Speaker A: All right, Eddie. [00:56:17] Speaker D: My loved ones know, like, I'm not arguing with you. We gonna fix this and we gonna get it right. Or either we, even if we don't get it together and get back on track, we ain't gotta have no bad. We ain't gotta have no issues. [00:56:27] Speaker A: Okay. [00:56:29] Speaker C: Well, Eddie, we appreciate you so much for. Thank you for joining us today. [00:56:34] Speaker D: Thanks for putting up with me. [00:56:35] Speaker A: Yes. [00:56:35] Speaker C: Okay, no problem. So tell us one thing you learned today. [00:56:39] Speaker D: I learned that Cl interrupts everybody. Neat was shooting shots. Yusuf thinks that women don't communicate. [00:56:51] Speaker A: Wow. [00:56:52] Speaker C: Neat. What you learned today? [00:56:53] Speaker A: That's the summary for the show. Yeah. [00:56:55] Speaker D: That was all. Summary. [00:56:56] Speaker C: That's the description today? [00:56:57] Speaker A: Yes. [00:57:00] Speaker C: Neat. [00:57:01] Speaker B: Yeah. I didn't know that you thought that women had vocal communicate parts. [00:57:06] Speaker C: I didn't know that either until just now. [00:57:07] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:57:08] Speaker C: I didn't know that till today. I was told that today, and I. [00:57:11] Speaker B: Just ran with it. I didn't know today. [00:57:19] Speaker A: Shedding light on what I've been hearing and seeing. Some of us have a different calling. Some of us are truth, like shares. [00:57:29] Speaker C: Yeah. What you learned today. [00:57:32] Speaker A: You know what? I'm just so thankful to be here today. [00:57:37] Speaker C: That's what you learned. [00:57:38] Speaker B: Amen. Thank you, Jesus. [00:57:39] Speaker A: I've been learning there are different perspectives from different people. I don't think we dove into y'all's perspectives, but I am thankful for the conversation we did have. Okay. Because it's some. I feel like some people not being honest, not totally honest about what. [00:57:59] Speaker C: Learned. I finally figured out how CEO got so smart. Yeah. [00:58:02] Speaker B: His head was so big. [00:58:03] Speaker A: Yes. [00:58:05] Speaker C: But go ahead. Neat. [00:58:07] Speaker B: Thank you all for listening. It's your girl, Nick Cruz, Cl Butler. [00:58:11] Speaker C: And your boy Yusef. And we are out. [00:58:16] Speaker D: Thank you for listening to another episode of relationship status. Remember, you can catch us on relationshipstatuspodcast.com, iTunes, Google Podcast, iHeartRadio, Spotify, Pandora, Amazon Music and anywhere you listen to your favorite podcasts. If you would like to join the conversation or leave us a dear neek, email us at re lstat [email protected] or call us at 843-310-8637 in. [00:58:45] Speaker B: Follow us on Facebook at relationship status. [00:58:47] Speaker D: Podcast on Instagram and Twitter at relstat podcast. And don't forget to comment, share, five star rate, subscribe, and review.