254th Date: Karma Moves Faster Than FedEx

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Is it crack? Is that what she's smoking, crack? [00:00:07] Speaker B: She could be smoking crack. [00:00:09] Speaker A: Because not only are you a hoe, you a bro hoe now. [00:00:15] Speaker B: Yeah. Cause if you. If you. If you tell me that you need to break up with me so you can go. So you can go do your. Do your thug dizzle with someone else. Yes, she was horizontal hokey pokey. [00:00:34] Speaker A: Yes, the Devil's Tango. [00:00:41] Speaker B: I just don't know. [00:00:42] Speaker A: People don't know. [00:00:43] Speaker B: No, they're not cultured at all. Not in good movies. [00:00:47] Speaker A: Wait, what? [00:00:49] Speaker B: That's a Ben Stiller classic. [00:00:51] Speaker A: Dang. Y' all had a sucky child. [00:00:52] Speaker B: Yes. Yeah, Ben's still a classic that time. [00:00:56] Speaker A: What teen. I was a teenager. I loved it. [00:00:57] Speaker B: I think that was the first time I saw this. Oh, my God. Or when he bust old girl in the face with the volleyball. [00:01:14] Speaker A: Oh, my goodness. [00:01:15] Speaker B: And he came down like he did something and realized he had bust the. [00:01:19] Speaker A: Whole face off face. [00:01:21] Speaker B: Oh, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Classic. Classic. [00:01:24] Speaker A: They missed out. [00:01:25] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, yeah. [00:01:26] Speaker A: For them. [00:01:27] Speaker B: Oh, very much so. Very much so. [00:01:29] Speaker A: But I can't be great. [00:01:33] Speaker B: Oh, man. And I watched all of them. Oh, that's me. Oh, that's. [00:01:36] Speaker A: You had to. It's a must. [00:01:37] Speaker B: Yeah, I watched all three. Definitely a must. All right, we're going to get right into it. Welcome back to Relationship Status. It's your boy Yousef in the building. And as you can see, Faronda's not here today, but we do have sitting in her place. If you follow her on Facebook, she's one of the funniest people you've seen on this show before this month. Or how does it go and how many days does it go? [00:02:03] Speaker A: Seven days. [00:02:04] Speaker B: It's. No, no, seven days. It changes. But what are the increments in which your name is. [00:02:07] Speaker A: Every 60 days. [00:02:08] Speaker B: Every 60 days, she changes her name on Facebook, so you have to count it. If you're not her friend, you have to find her again. But if you are her friend, you're confused for about a day or two. If you follow her on Facebook, you're confused about a day or two. But always comical. Always a great follow. Please go follow her. She is Gaylord Focker today. And anybody care? Fakir. I'm sorry? Fakir. She's French, I guess. Is that what it is? What? Yeah. So we are make sure that you go ahead and you follow her on. You won't be sorry because it is comma d every time. So she always has a good time on social media. Glad to have you back in the studio. Welcome back. [00:02:53] Speaker A: I'm glad to be back. [00:02:55] Speaker B: Yeah. Appreciate you. Good to see you in person because you are. You are probably what I would say your post. I don't know as a man, if I can say this, but was it take me out every time as a man, can I say that? I can. Okay. [00:03:15] Speaker A: I think it's okay. [00:03:15] Speaker B: Okay. Well, it's okay. It takes me out every time. I laugh, I comment. Usually it's laughing emojis. I don't think I have many comments other than laughing emojis or 100% agreeance with what you be having going on. [00:03:30] Speaker A: A lot going on. [00:03:30] Speaker B: It's a lot going on. [00:03:31] Speaker A: It's a lot going on. [00:03:33] Speaker B: But we here and glad to have you in the building. How's everything been since the last time you've been on the show? [00:03:39] Speaker A: Everything's been everything. I had a real quiet life since the last time I've been here, believe it or not. [00:03:46] Speaker B: Believe it or not. [00:03:47] Speaker A: Believe it or not. [00:03:48] Speaker B: Okay. Been. Been watching your. Your vegetable journey. [00:03:52] Speaker A: Watch. Oh, yes. I'm planting. [00:03:54] Speaker B: You're planting. [00:03:54] Speaker A: I'm planting up a storm like so. [00:03:56] Speaker B: Like, are you getting full size watermelons or these like baby water. So you got full size big. [00:04:01] Speaker A: Yes. I've got a plan. Five or six feet apart because they. [00:04:05] Speaker B: And they're coming in full size. Okay. So I could buy some. [00:04:10] Speaker A: You gonna be selling sweet potato, watermelon, tomato. Go ahead and get the cabbage and collar going. [00:04:16] Speaker B: Fall. So you trying to really do something in the backyard farmers. You gonna start taking it to the farmers market or you gonna. [00:04:23] Speaker A: I don't know if I'm take it. [00:04:24] Speaker B: To the farmers market, but you gonna, you're gonna, you're gonna be the bootleg. You're gonna be the bootleg. [00:04:29] Speaker A: I'll do that. If people want to buy it. Does it make sense? Like if it's for sale, if you want to buy it now, but if. [00:04:34] Speaker B: You want to buy it. [00:04:34] Speaker A: If you want to buy it. But I prefer shopping in my backyard. I love that. [00:04:39] Speaker B: Well, yeah, I think that when you. That's free and free. Nothing beats free. Well, I guess it's not really free because you got to work. [00:04:48] Speaker A: It's not really. [00:04:48] Speaker B: Because you got to work too. [00:04:49] Speaker A: You got to work. You got to pay for this. [00:04:51] Speaker B: You got to play for the supplies, for the upkeep. [00:04:53] Speaker A: The upkeep. So it's not really free. But for me it's more of. I realized I was allergic to all the fruit because. [00:04:59] Speaker B: Oh, wow. [00:04:59] Speaker A: Right. A lot of the pesticides and things in the Fruit. So I had to make it work. And I love fruit, so I had to make it. [00:05:08] Speaker B: Okay, so the pet. You have to use pesticides. [00:05:11] Speaker A: No, I don't. [00:05:11] Speaker B: Oh, no. So you. So the ones you grow, you're not allergic to? [00:05:14] Speaker A: I'm not allergic to. Like, usually I can eat a tomato out of the store, but I can eat a tomato in my backyard. [00:05:20] Speaker B: Oh, well, that might be me because, like, pineapples, I'm alert. Like, if I eat a. If I eat just a pineapple. Strawberries, not so much, but a lot. A lot of the fresh fruits from the grocery store, if I eat them fresh, my mouth just starts to itch. It ain't nothing serious. Like, I ain't got to go to the hospital or nothing. [00:05:40] Speaker A: Right. [00:05:44] Speaker B: So that might be it. [00:05:45] Speaker A: That might be it. Because. [00:05:46] Speaker B: So it's seeping into the fruit then. Because most of it, you. You peel or. [00:05:49] Speaker A: Right. It's seeping into it. And so I find that the tomatoes and things in the store are really bland. The ones from the backyard taste really, really. So, yeah, I just prefer the natural taste. [00:06:02] Speaker B: The natural taste of natural. [00:06:04] Speaker A: And I'm enjoying it. Tastes a whole lot better, y'. All. A whole lot better. It's like Aldi versus Walmart. [00:06:13] Speaker B: So. So which one are you? [00:06:15] Speaker A: I'm Aldi. [00:06:15] Speaker B: You're Aldi. Okay. [00:06:16] Speaker A: You can't tell me Aldi right now, but Walmart, you know, the bananas be bad. When you get to the car. [00:06:23] Speaker B: They do. Like, I can't even make a smoothie. By the time I take it to the house, the first one, I'm good. By day two. [00:06:31] Speaker A: That's it. [00:06:31] Speaker B: That's it. And I'll be like, what's the difference? I know they be sitting in the store, but that must be it. They're sitting in the store. And I had. I went to. There is a fruit stand in Lake City I like to go to. Oh, what really fresh love going over there. And they have. I went over there because they had the yellow watermelon, and I fell in love with the yellow watermelon. It is amazing. Fell completely in love with the yellow watermelon. But they're out of season now, so if anybody has it, it's, I guess, a thing. But, um, the. They. They didn't have strawberries, and so I was like, hey, you don't got no strawberries? Because I wanted to do all of my. I didn't want to have to go to the grocery store to get anything right. And they didn't have strawberries. And I was like, well, you know, I called her, hey, ma', am. You know y' all don't have strawberries. She said, well, strawberries in South Carolina, in this region, are actually out of season. And she was like, you can't get them. So the ones I said, but I see them in the grocery store. And she was like, those are picked, not ripe, and shipped to the stores. And then as they're shipped, they become ripe when they hit the store. And she was like, that's why the ones out the store don't have as much flavor as if they're freshly. If they're freshly ripe. [00:07:50] Speaker A: I was like, oh, yes. [00:07:53] Speaker B: I'm learning a lot about this as I'm trying to lose this weight. I'm learning a lot about, like, little stuff like that. So it makes it interesting. [00:08:01] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:08:02] Speaker B: So let me know when you got something that's. That's bare. And I could come and shop in your. [00:08:08] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm cleaned out. I just put some more down and about. About six weeks. Six to eight weeks. [00:08:14] Speaker B: Okay. All right. Well, we're gonna kind of get into the show here. I have a new segment, and I think every week I be creating a new segment. So one of these will stick, but I think this one's going to stick, and it's going to be called unpopular opinion. Every week going to come in, I'm going to give an unpopular opinion. [00:08:36] Speaker A: Okay. [00:08:37] Speaker B: All right. This week, Unpopular opinion. Forgiveness does not mean access. Once again, forgiveness does not mean access. You can forgive someone and still cut them off. Both can be true. Just because I forgive you, it does not mean that you still are allowed access to me. We could be cool, but you over there. [00:09:04] Speaker A: Yep. [00:09:06] Speaker B: And I think a lot of people believe that because that. Because I forgave you, that it's still okay for you to have access to me. Now, I don't believe in blocking people. I just don't. But it doesn't mean I'm gonna answer the phone either. Now, you may be of the blocking community. Cause that is a community. [00:09:27] Speaker A: Look at me wrong sometimes. [00:09:29] Speaker B: I mean, you may be a part of the blocking community. [00:09:31] Speaker A: Blocked. [00:09:31] Speaker B: Yeah. I don't get it. I just. I don't get it. I could just ignore the phone call when you. [00:09:37] Speaker A: I don't have too much energy, like, oh, my God, it's them. You know what I mean? Just go ahead and don't even do that, baby. [00:09:42] Speaker B: No, I mean, I just. [00:09:43] Speaker A: I get it, though. [00:09:44] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. It's just something in it that doesn't allow me to be Like, I don't know. I just feel like. I feel better knowing that, you know, I didn't answer your call. [00:09:53] Speaker A: You so messy. [00:09:55] Speaker B: I just feel better knowing that, you know, I didn't answer you. Yes, it's going to ring. [00:09:59] Speaker A: You are hilarious. [00:10:00] Speaker B: And I'm gonna let it ring. I'm not going to end. [00:10:03] Speaker A: Are you going to watch it now? [00:10:04] Speaker B: I'm probably not going to watch it because I'm not giving you that much attention. [00:10:06] Speaker A: Okay. [00:10:07] Speaker B: But I need you to know that I'm choosing for you not to have access to me. I've made a choice. [00:10:14] Speaker A: Don't call him. [00:10:16] Speaker B: No. Yeah. No, no, no. [00:10:17] Speaker A: Once he's done with you, don't call. Okay? Don't call. Save yourself the trouble. [00:10:23] Speaker B: But I think, people. That is a thing. I think that because you did something to me, whatever it is that you did, you apologize. And your apology doesn't mean that we're good. You've apologized, right? You have. And we have. And I've said, hey, I forgive you, but that doesn't mean. And we good. [00:10:45] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:10:45] Speaker B: But that means that you're gonna just be over there. And I understand that. Like. And let's say we take it. I'll take it. Out of a relationship in the world, and I'm in coaching, there's people that do a bunch of nonsense backstabbing and other stuff like that. And if, in fact, you do something and we get into. Because I'm confrontational, I will. Hey, man, I will. Hey, come on over here. We need to talk. And you explain yourself and you apologize. I'm still going to be like, all right, cool. But I know for a fact that you're no longer within my circumference, and I'm not going to let you have access to me anymore. What about you? Like, how. How do you. Do you forgive or do. Because some people, I don't think you forgive. You look like you just don't forgive. You just go block. [00:11:34] Speaker A: No, no, no, no, no. I block people. I say this, I forgive, but I don't forget. Just like that. And, no, you won't have access to me. You say it in a whole nicer way than I would. [00:11:47] Speaker B: What you mean? [00:11:48] Speaker A: Don't call my damn phone. Okay? Don't call me at all. Don't do that. Like, once I've forgiven you. And I feel like if I have to go and forgive you, it had to be really, really big for me. [00:12:00] Speaker B: For you to forgive. [00:12:01] Speaker A: But I mean, like, I just say if I had to go that deep and work on my Forgiveness. Do you know what I mean, though? To dig into myself, I had to. [00:12:08] Speaker B: Work on my forgiveness and be like. [00:12:09] Speaker A: Oh, I got to forgive this person. You know what I mean, though? [00:12:12] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. [00:12:12] Speaker A: Sometimes you got to forgive them for you and not for them. You know what I mean? That's really what it is anyway. Right. But if I got to go through all that, I just feel like, man, you don't feel like the access doesn't need to be there. There needs to be no access. And I feel like if you don't have access to a person after you fucked up and gotten forgiven, that's it, then. [00:12:30] Speaker B: That's it. [00:12:31] Speaker A: That's it. [00:12:31] Speaker B: Okay. [00:12:32] Speaker A: You should have the sense enough to know. You know what I mean? Yeah, that doesn't. [00:12:35] Speaker B: But some people aren't that. A lot of people aren't that self. Aware. [00:12:38] Speaker A: Right. So people get mad and be like, you mess with me no more. No, sorry. [00:12:44] Speaker B: Okay, yes, I forgave you, but did you forget what you did? [00:12:47] Speaker A: Right. And they get upset though, right? [00:12:49] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:12:49] Speaker A: You don't mess with me no more. Like, really, should I? [00:12:52] Speaker B: Nah, I don't. Sometimes I gotta help you understand that I don't. [00:12:55] Speaker A: That I don't. Sometimes people really have to see what it's like to be on the opposite side of the table from you versus beside you. [00:13:01] Speaker B: Oh, true, true. I think. I think some people take for granted when you have their back. And I think too, and this is the last point I think we're gonna make them gonna move on. We got a short. We only got a short period of time. The people discount how much value that. Sometimes they discount how much value you bring to their life. So they take advantage of you being in their life and how much that once you're gone, now it's like I didn't realize how much that person did for me. And it may not have been anything monetary or whatever. Sometimes it's just encouraging. Sometimes it's just knowing that if you need who you can count on, because that's the one thing people say about me, is I'm probably one of the most. One of the people that you can count on the most. Like, I go all out for the people that are in my circle, but once you're out, you're out. And I usually can't bring myself to bring you back into that place because then it's opening me back up. Because if I have to, like you said, if I have to forgive you, then it had to be something. So if I had to forgive you, that means you hurt me. In a way that I had to forgive you. [00:14:17] Speaker A: I had to get over it. [00:14:18] Speaker B: I had to get. I had to get over it. That's a better way of putting it. [00:14:21] Speaker A: Yeah. I had to work to get over it. [00:14:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:14:22] Speaker A: So you're open to. This is happening again and I ain't gonna let that happen, baby. [00:14:27] Speaker B: Yeah. So once again, forgiveness, unpopular opinion. Forgiveness does not mean you have access. [00:14:33] Speaker A: Let me. Stay the hell away. [00:14:34] Speaker B: Stay away. All right, let's get into it. We got a first. I don't. We're gonna go to the social media thing in a minute, but we're gonna try to help this. Somebody wrote in the letter, dear relationship status. I'm a 29 year old woman and I recently divorced. And I recently divorced. That is my 38 husband. I fought, recently discovered. Jesus Christ. I can't read. Sorry. Let's start that over. I'm a 29 year old woman and I recently discovered that my 38 year old husband is on Tinder, still in shock and trying to process everything because it really hurts. Every night he usually falls asleep with his phone in his hand. I'll often wake up in the middle of night, turn off the screen and set it aside. But last night when I woke up, his phone was still on and the Tinder. The Tinder app was open. I picked it up and saw that he was actively messaging over 10 different women. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, so I screen recorded everything before waking him up. In the past, I would have completely lost it. This kind of betrayal has happened to me twice before in previous relationships. So maybe that's why I stayed a little calmer this time. But inside I was boiling. But when I woke him up and confronted him, his response was basically, it has nothing to do with you. He even let me look through his profile and I saw that he lied about his age. He listed himself as 28. I was disgusted, hurt from and furious. We're coming up on one year of marriage and we've been together for five years total. Part of me wants to file for divorce immediately and never look back, but another part of me wonders if he's mentally spiraling. His father has stage four cancer and I know he's going through a lot, but does that justify this behavior? Honestly, I don't think so. Right now, I don't feel ready to share this with friends or family. So I'm turning to you. This is my first marriage and it feels like it's crumbling right in front of me. My question is, how do I. What do I Do now, how do I know if this marriage is even worth trying to save or if I'm just holding on to false hope, signed, conflicted, and crushed. So let's deal with the first thing. [00:16:53] Speaker A: Baby, no. Hell, no. Hell no. [00:17:03] Speaker B: Baby, no. What in there? Do you give him a pass on the stage four cancer? Dad, I'm a stage four cancer. [00:17:14] Speaker A: I give him a pass. If he was acting out. Just saying his mood was up and down, maybe he was distant. You know what I mean? [00:17:21] Speaker B: Isn't this like, acting out? [00:17:24] Speaker A: Hell, no, this ain't acting out. [00:17:25] Speaker B: Because, I mean, he left his phone. He had to know that. He let her look through his profile. [00:17:31] Speaker A: Yeah. He had no choice at this point. [00:17:34] Speaker B: Like, what you mean, no choice? [00:17:35] Speaker A: He ain't let her look before. [00:17:36] Speaker B: He did have a decision. He did have a decision in the moment. He could have said, you could snatch his phone. A lot of people get real defensive, he did this. I know a lot of people get real defensive now. They'll go, he did this. What's the first thing they would do? What's the first thing? What's the. You done. You caught. You. I say, you, okay, you're not doing anything right, but you caught. Somebody looked at something in your phone, and you. You. They have let you know, I saw this in your phone. What does this mean? What's your first reaction? [00:18:03] Speaker A: I think my first reaction is going to answer the question. It means whatever it is, right? [00:18:07] Speaker B: No, my first question is gonna be like, why you got my phone? Why is you in my phone? [00:18:10] Speaker A: But after that, because I feel like if you're with this person, you open the explanation first. [00:18:13] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:18:14] Speaker A: Answer the question. Right? [00:18:15] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:18:16] Speaker A: But after that, like, dang, what made you want to go through my phone? I'm going to know, like, why were you in my phone? [00:18:21] Speaker B: And I think that that's what he. That that's what most people jump to, right? But he was like, hey, look, you can go ahead. Look to my profile. [00:18:27] Speaker A: He did the Drew ski. Hey, you got me. [00:18:30] Speaker B: What's up? I'm caught. Here you go. [00:18:32] Speaker A: Shit. [00:18:37] Speaker B: I mean, I. I just don't know. Like, so did she. The one thing I don't like sometimes about letters is I sometimes feel like things are getting left out. When she looked through the messages, what did she see? [00:18:50] Speaker A: What is. What was said? [00:18:51] Speaker B: What was said? Because, like, if it was a line of maybe friendship, like, conversation, does that change? [00:19:02] Speaker A: Hell, no. [00:19:03] Speaker B: What you mean? [00:19:04] Speaker A: Ain't no 10 holes. Ain't no friends, man. [00:19:08] Speaker B: You know what I'm saying? What if it's like just discussing. [00:19:12] Speaker A: How were you on Tinder today, baby? How's your day going? Like you cool? Everything's smooth with you? Swipe. Go to the next hole. Yeah, baby, what's up? [00:19:21] Speaker B: But it's message threads, though. [00:19:23] Speaker A: Oh, you got threads? [00:19:24] Speaker B: That's what. That's what she said. She said messages over. Oh, well, it says no. Well, actively messaging means consistently. [00:19:32] Speaker A: Consistently messaging. And you're only a year in. [00:19:34] Speaker B: 10 different women. 10 different. Cut it, cut it, cut it, cut it, cut it. Way too hot. You need to cut it. [00:19:42] Speaker A: Cut it out. [00:19:45] Speaker B: She says now a little bit of self reflection for her. Why do you keep going through this? Because she says she was in two previous relationships in which she dealt with the same thing. So is this the thing about. [00:19:57] Speaker A: It's her. Girl, you ain't recognizing them patterns, girl. Because you saw it before that. Cuz if he was an adulterous husband, he probably was an adulterous boyfriend. He was a cheating boyfriend. You know what I mean? [00:20:08] Speaker B: But she said two different relationships. [00:20:10] Speaker A: Yeah, but she. She saw that before they got married. There were. There were signs. [00:20:15] Speaker B: Well, why. Why do we ignore signs? [00:20:17] Speaker A: Because we all see. We want to see the best in people. Like, we'll. We'll brush that off. Especially when we feel like we're too far in. We'll kind of brush it off and it ain't that deep. You know what I mean? Like, maybe I'm overreacting. You give them the benefit of the doubt. The more time has been, more time has passed. Right. So too deeply involved and going, huh? You know, it's not that big a deal. I love them anyway. Yeah, right. Until it's not a big of a deal now. Yeah, because now you out here on Tinder swiping and. [00:20:47] Speaker B: Don't do that. [00:20:48] Speaker A: Don't do that. I feel like. And not. Girl, how many pans you got in your house? Take Ms. Celia advice. Cause ain't no way I would have clocked him right awake me. Good morning. [00:21:03] Speaker B: Good morning. But it was good night. [00:21:05] Speaker A: Go back to sleep if that's the case. But it's like, why are you playing like that? [00:21:12] Speaker B: So the father going, so his father. Stage four is usually terminal, correct? [00:21:16] Speaker A: That's terminal. It depends on what it is. You know, some people can. [00:21:19] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, I know some people can overcome it. [00:21:21] Speaker A: Overcome that. But I get the frustration of that. But you got other ways you could act it out, Bubba. [00:21:29] Speaker B: So you think. But this is her first marriage. They're a year in. Is this a complication that you can. [00:21:37] Speaker A: Work through this ain't a complication. This is a character flaw. [00:21:41] Speaker B: Character flaw. So you think he's looking for attention? [00:21:46] Speaker A: This ain't one woman. This was 10. [00:21:48] Speaker B: Tis was 10. [00:21:49] Speaker A: It was 10. [00:21:50] Speaker B: See, I'm trying to help you out, brother. [00:21:52] Speaker A: Yeah. We trying to figure out why you need attention from 10 women. It's giving mother issues. But we not gonna go there. [00:21:58] Speaker B: And then why did you have to. [00:21:59] Speaker A: Lie on your profile, on your profile about being 28? [00:22:03] Speaker B: Cause 38 ain't old. [00:22:05] Speaker A: Ain't old. [00:22:06] Speaker B: So you're still in your 30s. It's not old. [00:22:08] Speaker A: So you were trying to attract younger gullible women. In my opinion. [00:22:12] Speaker B: Solid, solid. [00:22:15] Speaker A: Somebody who gonna put it with your mess. Like you're probably doing my girl. I'm just saying. [00:22:19] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Cause she is 20. She's 29. [00:22:24] Speaker A: So he's still looking for somebody your age. My girl. [00:22:27] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:22:28] Speaker A: It's a manipulation thing. [00:22:30] Speaker B: A little bit of it. [00:22:31] Speaker A: It's a little bit of manipulation there because I don't know a lot of men who go actively just seeking. [00:22:36] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:22:37] Speaker A: That you know, just actively looking for that demographic of women. [00:22:39] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:22:40] Speaker A: You know what I mean? [00:22:40] Speaker B: Because they're younger. Yeah. [00:22:42] Speaker A: Right. Things can happen. You can meet somebody that's younger, older and connect. Right. But that's here nor there. But you're actively going making your age 10 years younger just so you can attract. Because a younger type of woman, if. [00:22:54] Speaker B: I remember in my Tinder days, I think you can set the age range that you want to date so that to come up. That's my tender days. [00:23:05] Speaker A: So you can like set it up. [00:23:06] Speaker B: And be like, you can say, I want to date. You can have your regular age on there and you can go, you know, if, if you want somebody in the 20s, 21 to 30, get out. And then whoever is interested in the 21 to 30 range and somebody your age. [00:23:22] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:22] Speaker B: Will pop up and populate. And then you just get to swiping. [00:23:25] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:26] Speaker B: Now that you're cherry picking, that was the pass. [00:23:29] Speaker A: Okay. [00:23:30] Speaker B: In my past. [00:23:30] Speaker A: I got you. [00:23:31] Speaker B: Okay. And I didn't never put it at 21 to 29. [00:23:34] Speaker A: But he is out here cherry picking. [00:23:36] Speaker B: Them girls, him setting his age. But because if he sets his age to 28, it puts somebody within the range that's looking for somebody in the age range range. [00:23:45] Speaker A: So you're actively looking for that. [00:23:47] Speaker B: Or he's looking for a cougar. [00:23:48] Speaker A: Or you could be looking for a cougar, but given that he's married her younger and is still setting his age 10 years younger now. Hell, he done got a year younger than you, girl. [00:23:55] Speaker B: Now he's a year younger than you. [00:23:56] Speaker A: Not. You should feel like you too old. [00:24:02] Speaker B: The one thing I could say is at least. At the least they don't have kids. So I think. So that brings me to. What do you think she should do now? [00:24:16] Speaker A: Girl, pack your bags and run for the heels. Okay. Clutch your pearls. Pack your bags and run you a year in. And this has happened already. Sometimes you can understand a seven year itch. People grow apart. They change. Not the same. So you can understand when things like that kind of happen and feel more. And feel more like, I want to work this out because we're seven. [00:24:39] Speaker B: Because we're seven years of marriage. [00:24:41] Speaker A: Seven years of marriage in. So we got to figure out what the issue is. But the issue was plain and clear. The issue was already infidelity. [00:24:50] Speaker B: And we don't know if he actually met up with anybody because it doesn't say. [00:24:53] Speaker A: And the only reason you saw it is because he left his phone unlocked, which is. I don't think. [00:24:57] Speaker B: And I don't think she. I don't think she read the messages. I think she just counted the amount of messages that was there. [00:25:05] Speaker A: So, yeah. [00:25:05] Speaker B: Okay. So, yes, I too agree. And I don't like agreeing, but I agree. I think that because I'm an advocate for marriage and staying married as long as everything is good and it's stuff that you can work through. I think at least this is one of those situations where I feel like I can advocate for you leaving and in a sense, because it's difficult to walk away when there's kids. [00:25:33] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:25:34] Speaker B: It's. [00:25:34] Speaker A: They don't have any and they don't have any girl. [00:25:36] Speaker B: So. [00:25:37] Speaker A: But yeah, so easy. Yeah. [00:25:39] Speaker B: We could just. We go ahead and just get out of here. It's definitely a lot easier. [00:25:44] Speaker A: Protect your peace at all times, girl. [00:25:46] Speaker B: How do I know if this marriage is even worth trying to save or if I'm just holding on to false hope? Hope is a drug. [00:25:51] Speaker A: Hope is a drug. [00:25:52] Speaker B: Hope is a drug. So please do not hold on to hope because you'll be. You'll be chasing. What's it called? Chasing the dragon. [00:26:00] Speaker A: Okay. If year one was like this, can you imagine year 10? [00:26:06] Speaker B: I. I think that just from some of, some of the things you said made me look at the letter differently. Like the fact that he changed his age with me. He's looking for a younger demographic. Yeah. Yeah. So that, that kind of made me look differently at it. And I think that he's already Been out there. [00:26:24] Speaker A: He's already been out there. [00:26:25] Speaker B: And I think he was a little bit arrogant as to say, nah, go ahead. [00:26:28] Speaker A: Go ahead and look. [00:26:29] Speaker B: Look at my profile. [00:26:30] Speaker A: Giving. I want you to feel jealous and wonder why not you like I want. It's almost like he's humbling you by showing it a little bit. [00:26:38] Speaker B: Almost like you need. You need to be lucky. Look, 10 women want me. [00:26:41] Speaker A: 10 women want me. Here, look. Who would want to show them that even after you got caught, you don't want to go through and list it all out. [00:26:48] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:26:49] Speaker A: And see every woman that. You get what I'm saying now? Because now what she's going to be doing is comparing herself and women. We can say that's not going to happen, but yeah. [00:26:56] Speaker B: Yeah, you're going to end up comparing yourself. [00:26:57] Speaker A: You're comparing yourself. [00:26:58] Speaker B: You're going to look at these pictures because. [00:27:00] Speaker A: And now they're younger than you. You thought you were young, and now they're young, and now they're younger than you. [00:27:06] Speaker B: Hey, like I said, you know, we both said it. You know, this is one of those, like I said, advocate for marriage a lot, but this is one of those, you know, you got to cut your losses, go ahead and. And get out the door. Last thing we want to touch on because we got like 10 minutes is I think. I think you say the name Chillavel, Shan Lavelle James. Now, I must say, when you think of things on social media, sometimes they're fake, sometimes they real. [00:27:43] Speaker A: That's true. [00:27:44] Speaker B: I'm reacting to this and I put it in the relationship status chat group. I'm re. I wanted you to react to as if it was real because we don't know it could be real. Says, I asked my man for a break because I started battling with temptation. I struggle just being with one person. I didn't want to cheat. So I was honest with him. He agreed to it, but he said he would no longer stay and help me financially. While we were on a break, I started getting behind on bills, so I had to get a job. And literally after a week, I quit because I walked into a spider web. I asked my man to come home just to find out he betrayed me. How can this man just get another woman and abandon me when we agreed this was a break, not a breakup? I'm so tired of you men mistreating us women and getting away with it. Karma is coming for him soon, and I'm exposing how he did me to everyone. So she commences to screenshotting the text, and I Must point out that his name in her phone. What was her name? What was his name in her phone? [00:28:59] Speaker A: Who was it? [00:28:59] Speaker B: Rich Zaddy. That's his name. His name. Look what I say. Rich Zaddy. So I can't. He. She. She says, oh, no. He said, I can't. I guess she asked for the money. And he goes, I can't do that. I gave you the break you asked for. She responded, I can't do this without you, baby. He says, you should have thought about that before asking for a break. She says, I did what was best for our relationship. I didn't want to cheat on you. I could no longer fight my temptations. And you're so good to me. I didn't want to hurt you. I was so honest with you, Shane Lavelle. I respect your honesty, but that doesn't mean I have to deal with your bs. My new woman knows what she wants, and I'm enough of a man for her. You be blessed, other woman. We've been broken up for only two months. How the f. Could you do this to me? Answer your phone now. Answer this damn phone before I come to your job and act a fool and get you fired. You can't do this to me. I need you. I'm on the way. Because you think this is a joke. I'm struggling, and you think you're about to just abandon me. [00:30:25] Speaker A: Is it crack? Is that what she's smoking? [00:30:31] Speaker B: She could be smoking crack because not. [00:30:34] Speaker A: Only are you a hoe, you a bro hoe now. [00:30:39] Speaker B: Yeah. Cause if you. If you. If you tell me that you need to break up with me so you can go. So you can go do your. Do your thug dizzle with someone else. Yes, she was horizontal hokey pokey. [00:30:58] Speaker A: Yes, she was the devil's tango. [00:31:02] Speaker B: I never heard that one. Oh, God, I never heard that well before. All right, so the devil's. You just named the episode. All right, so Gillespie, David, Michael said, gonna get into some of y' all comments. Oof. If this don't trigger me. [00:31:28] Speaker A: Wait, you triggered. Oh, my God. [00:31:31] Speaker B: Gillespie was triggered. Jesus. [00:31:34] Speaker A: Damn. [00:31:34] Speaker B: You've been through April Winber. Said, he better answer that phone. Said, geez, accountability is so damn hard for some folks. Kim. Kim Cannon shouts out to Kim, sister, we got mama's 80th birthday is coming up. I'll be there. She said, the audacity. She doesn't want him. She needs his financial help. Big difference. If it was never. If it was never about him, he should be glad. She wanted the break. The other gentleman didn't fall into her trap. She better go find a job that doesn't have spider webs. Talking about exposure, girl. Bye. [00:32:23] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:32:24] Speaker B: Devonte Child out. Vaughn. Smmfh. Speechless, my boy. Even back from the crib. Lol. Good for him. Life goes on. And you can't think you can deal with a man in that manner. Especially after you told him you wanted a break because you couldn't fight the temptation of other men. You were sauteed once. You thought it was good idea to insult him like that. So let's give him a round of applause for looking out for himself. Cue the round of applause. He said you were sauteed once. You thought. [00:33:02] Speaker A: Steamed and cooked and rolled over, baby. [00:33:05] Speaker B: Rashida shouts out to you, man. Effort great for him. People are not yo yos. Let lust pay the bill, sis. Yeah. There was one thing she said in there. Said karma is coming for him soon. But it came for you immediately. [00:33:20] Speaker A: Immediately. It was an immediate return. Immediate return. [00:33:24] Speaker B: Return to sin. [00:33:25] Speaker A: FedEx was not playing with your ass. Sent it right back to you. That's what you get. [00:33:31] Speaker B: The funniest part about this is to understand that fake or not, well, real or fake, there are people out there who honestly, this is them. And they believe that being honest, even if it's about something, being honest about something like that gives them the right to act. In which they act without repercussions, consequence. Repercussions and consequences. [00:33:56] Speaker A: I literally went and said, baby, it's over. I'm about to go cheat. I'll be back. [00:33:59] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm gonna go cheat. I'll be back. [00:34:01] Speaker A: I'll be back in two months. I'm about to go fuck the world up. [00:34:05] Speaker B: And then for two months, I'm about to take. Put no value on myself or my. [00:34:12] Speaker A: Body for two months. [00:34:13] Speaker B: For two months, when you value me enough to take care of me. [00:34:17] Speaker A: You was a loose goose for two months. [00:34:20] Speaker B: But. But she didn't value him from the start. [00:34:24] Speaker A: No. She didn't care how he felt. [00:34:26] Speaker B: No, not only that. You could tell somebody you care about. You may have a nickname for them right in your phone emojis. Rich Zaddy is not it. [00:34:37] Speaker A: That's not it. [00:34:38] Speaker B: That means that you were just using that man for his money. [00:34:40] Speaker A: It was transactional the entire time. And when Spider Gwen ran up in that web. Now she mad. [00:34:47] Speaker B: Charlotte ran up in the web. [00:34:49] Speaker A: When Charlotte hit that web, you got hot. You can't do that. You can't do that, baby. [00:34:54] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:54] Speaker A: What you thought he was going to say? [00:34:58] Speaker B: I think she was too vain. To believe anything else, right? [00:35:01] Speaker A: Like, what you thought he was going to do, wait on you? Girl, is 8.3 billion people on this earth, right? Half of them got coochies. [00:35:09] Speaker B: And. And not only that, but there are so many women who are waiting on a man to take care of them. And you have one. [00:35:15] Speaker A: And you have one. [00:35:16] Speaker B: Had. [00:35:17] Speaker A: Well, had. [00:35:18] Speaker B: And. [00:35:20] Speaker A: And then you probably was messing with some, you know, guys do nothing for you. [00:35:25] Speaker B: Ain't got no car. [00:35:26] Speaker A: Ain't got no car. [00:35:27] Speaker B: You had to pick them up because. [00:35:28] Speaker A: Why you was out doing that and you was broke. Now, one thing my great grandma told me is a. A wet coochie and an empty purse don't make no sense. Like, baby, so you out here doing all that and ain't nobody helping you? Coochie is trash. Yeah, it's trash. [00:35:51] Speaker B: On that note, thank you for coming in. We appreciate your time. I know it was tough for you to get out and all this. It's storming outside and all that good stuff, but definitely appreciate you coming out. Thank you. [00:36:02] Speaker A: Thank you for having me. Thank you for putting up with me today. [00:36:04] Speaker B: Oh, no, listen, hey, it's always a pleasure to have you in the building. Tell the people how they can follow you. [00:36:09] Speaker A: You can find me on Facebook at Gaylord Focker Fakir. Yes, there's a little annunciation to it, but, yeah, you can find me there. Don't find me on Twitter. I still be looking at nasty stuff. [00:36:24] Speaker B: I can neither confirm nor deny. I can't open my Twitter in public. [00:36:30] Speaker A: No. No. [00:36:31] Speaker B: And I don't know how it happened. No. Well, I kind of know. I kind of know. But at the end of the day, like, you, as soon as you open it and you scroll, Trump Elon basketball. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Soon as you open Twitter, she like, also beginning of the show. We should have said it. If you made it this far in the show. Shouts out to you. If you. The first person to email us, first person to email us where the name Gaylord Focker comes from, we will send you a free T shirt and a gas card. Make sure that you email us. The first one to email us. R E L S T A T podcast, gmail.com. it just popped up right here. If you look right here, right here, it just popped up right there. Go ahead, email us if you know the name. If you know where the name Gaylord Fakhr came from. Until next time, it's Gaylord Fakher, and I'm your boy Yousef in the building. Peace. [00:37:40] Speaker C: Thank you for listening to another episode of Relationship Status. Remember, you can catch us on relationship status, podcast.com, iTunes, or Google podcast, iHeartRadio, Spotify, Pandora, Amazon Music, Nobody grinds like us and anywhere you listen to your favorite podcasts. If you would like to join the conversation or leave us a Dear Nick, Email us at r e l s t podcastmail.com or call us at 843-310-8637. Follow us on Facebook at Relationship Status Podcast on Instagram and Twitter at R e L S t A t Podcast. And don't forget to comment. Share 5 star rate, subscribe and review.