253rd Date: When Your Life is a Domino Effect of Bad Decisions

[00:00:00] Speaker A: It's a retinal purge. Looks worse before it gets better, but the better might be his replacement. [00:00:05] Speaker B: Oh, these. First off, these people are ruthless. [00:00:14] Speaker A: These are women. These are women. [00:00:16] Speaker B: No, I'm saying. Ooh, chat. Y' all better be glad we don't speak another language. For real? Cause y' all would just be out here. Ooh, this is giving me an idea. I'm about to tell my friend group we about to come up with a whole other way to talk about men so they don't want to see next. [00:00:29] Speaker A: One over two weeks. [00:00:39] Speaker B: First off, how is the. How is real time? A month of Sundays, Cuz it's been. [00:00:43] Speaker A: Like in real time. Like when we record. Me and you haven't been together to record in a minute. [00:00:50] Speaker B: Hmm, curious. [00:00:52] Speaker A: Yeah, we haven't been to record since the middle of May. [00:00:56] Speaker B: Are you sure? [00:00:56] Speaker A: I am sure. We haven't recorded in June at all. [00:01:01] Speaker B: It's been your fault. So how's it blame yousef in the building for why it is that we haven't recorded? [00:01:09] Speaker A: Yeah, so people hit us up and been like, you know, hey, when's the show coming back? Really enjoy the show. Miss you guys. The DM's been popping, so that's been good. So we appreciate y' all for tapping in, folks. [00:01:25] Speaker B: Been DMing us. [00:01:26] Speaker A: Yeah, just. Hey, hey, when is the new episode coming out? [00:01:32] Speaker B: That is exciting. We have been DMing us. Yeah, I'm sleepy. [00:01:39] Speaker A: Yeah, I get that. So we're gonna make this as quick as we can. [00:01:43] Speaker B: We don't have to rush it. [00:01:45] Speaker A: But you're sleepy. All right, so we're gonna start off with our question of the week. [00:01:51] Speaker B: Oh, Lord. [00:01:52] Speaker A: And we asked just the ladies. Ladies only. This was that. [00:01:56] Speaker B: Did you filter through these responses so we don't get the dissertations? [00:02:00] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. These are all short. It's 10. I only got. I only took. I only plucked 10. [00:02:05] Speaker B: I just don't even believe you because I feel like you lying, but go ahead. [00:02:08] Speaker A: Okay. The question is, describe your relationship using self care terminology so men won't understand. [00:02:23] Speaker B: Oh, I'm curious to hear this. [00:02:25] Speaker A: Okay. It's giving exfoliating with a loofah made of red flags. [00:02:33] Speaker B: First off, some of these things I might not even understand. [00:02:37] Speaker A: All right, we're in our soft launch era, but he doesn't know it's actually pre breakup shadow work. [00:02:43] Speaker B: Mm. Nah, I understood that one. [00:02:45] Speaker A: You understood that one? [00:02:46] Speaker B: I did understand that one. [00:02:48] Speaker A: You're gonna have to translate for me. Cause it sounds funny, but I really don't know what's going on. Shit. [00:02:54] Speaker B: They basically about to break up with their boyfriend. They don't know, so they're getting their ducks in a row. [00:03:04] Speaker A: Like, doing a face mask. A face mask over a breakout and pretending that's enough. [00:03:10] Speaker B: Oh, wow. Oh. I'll put it in terms that you would understand. [00:03:19] Speaker A: Like, your response lets me know how. [00:03:21] Speaker B: Deep it is putting deodorant on. And you didn't take a shower. Oh, that's basically what they just said. [00:03:31] Speaker A: Damn. Number four. It's a retinal purge. Looks worse before it gets better, but the better might be his replacement. [00:03:40] Speaker B: Oh, these. First off, these people are ruthless. [00:03:49] Speaker A: These are women. These are women. [00:03:51] Speaker B: No, I'm saying. Ooh, chat. Y' all better be glad we don't speak another language. For real. Cause y' all would just be out here. Oh, this is giving me an idea. I'm about to tell my friend group. We about to come up with a whole other way to talk about men so they don't see. [00:04:04] Speaker A: Next one. Like putting crystals under your pillow. Hoping he text back. Okay, it's my villain error, but he thinks I'm just journaling it. [00:04:15] Speaker B: What? [00:04:15] Speaker A: It's my villain era, but he thinks I'm just journaling. Okay, he's my before photo, and I'm already scheduling the after. Oh, I was so. Oh. [00:04:33] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. That is so mean. Have you ever seen somebody do a makeover before? After. [00:04:40] Speaker A: Yeah, I get. I mean, I get it now. Number nine, it's giving group Reiki, but I'm only there to spiritually snatch his soul. [00:04:53] Speaker B: It's giving what Group Reiki. Yeah, I don't know that one. [00:04:56] Speaker A: Yeah. At least you have to be in the Reiki community to understand that one. [00:04:59] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:04:59] Speaker A: Number 10, we're doing a digital detox. I blocked him. Now, that one I understood. [00:05:07] Speaker B: First off, that wasn't even mental health terms that no one would understand. [00:05:10] Speaker A: That one I understood. But, yeah, man, keep tapping in on our threads. That's off of our. I posted that one. [00:05:18] Speaker B: That was a good one. [00:05:19] Speaker A: That was. That was a good one. Now I gotta get with the men. I gotta get with the men. [00:05:23] Speaker B: Okay, that's fine. But that was probably my favorite one. And let me read the men, see if I can. [00:05:27] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm. Yeah, okay. I'm. I'mma post one for the men to answer, and definitely, if you still got answers to this one, make sure you tap and send it. But matter of fact, put it in the comments right now. [00:05:37] Speaker B: And I like those. They were short, sweet. To the point. [00:05:39] Speaker A: They were short sweet to the point. Yeah, that's ladies. It's usually the men that be coming with the long winded thing. [00:05:44] Speaker B: It, you know. Well, that needs to be accomplished. [00:05:48] Speaker A: No, no, no, not, not. But not on the. On stuff like this is usually short women are long winded. On the advice. [00:05:56] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:05:56] Speaker A: On the advice ones that. Those I gotta filter. But today we're gonna get into something everybody's been talking about for the last two weeks. Last two weeks. [00:06:09] Speaker B: Has it been that long? [00:06:10] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. For the last two weeks, people have been talking about the movie Straw. [00:06:15] Speaker B: They have been talking about Straw. [00:06:17] Speaker A: Some people liked it, some people hated it. [00:06:20] Speaker B: Dang. People hated it. [00:06:21] Speaker A: Yeah. I know some people who like genuinely was like, I dislike that movie. [00:06:26] Speaker B: And what do they dislike about it? [00:06:31] Speaker A: I think more so because it was just because it was Tyler Perry. [00:06:36] Speaker B: Y' all be hating on Tyler Perry. Tyler Perry out here cranking out these movies and making in his shows and making his money and getting sued. I mean, who isn't getting sued at this point? [00:06:46] Speaker A: Yeah, but they actually got text messages. It's kind of. The text messages is kind of wow. You know, just a little bit. But I do think that some people do just dislike the movies. Be like if you dislike a person's work, it's like a teacher with a student. You try not to be biased. But if this kid don't cuss you out and cut your class a bunch of times. [00:07:14] Speaker B: Yeah, he didn't gotta do all that for me. Not like him. [00:07:15] Speaker A: Yeah, but if they done done all that, you're gonna be more likely with that pen to find every missing period, comma, fragment, all of that you're gonna find. And you're taking all the points off. [00:07:28] Speaker B: No, we know how you do with your classroom, Yousef. Thank you for letting us know. [00:07:32] Speaker A: No, no, no. [00:07:33] Speaker B: You treat your kids that you don't like. [00:07:35] Speaker A: No, I'm just saying, like you go into it looking for something wrong rather than looking for what's good in it. And I think that that's what some people are. That's where some people are with Tyler Perry's work. It's like they're in there looking for the bad part of it or the acting is not good, or this wasn't good or that don't analyze. I mean, just. Did you enjoy, like when I like to watch a movie, I like to watch it for entertainment. I'm gonna be. I want to be entertained. And so sometimes the acting can throw. [00:08:03] Speaker B: You off, you know, sometimes, yes, it. [00:08:05] Speaker A: Can'T throw you off. But I think if it's if the writing is good, then I can kind of deal with it. If the writing sucks and the acting sucks. If the acting is good, but the writing sucks. Like a good. You didn't. So I didn't think Tiana Taylor basically gave a good. [00:08:23] Speaker B: I mean, she was. She could have definitely been better. [00:08:26] Speaker A: I think they could have cast someone else. [00:08:28] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, she was. She was like, right there. It was just. It was given a hair of trying too hard, but. [00:08:34] Speaker A: Yeah, that's. She was overacting a little bit. [00:08:37] Speaker B: Yeah. But generally, when it comes to Tyler Perry, for me, I. I kind of stay away from his shows and I don't really. [00:08:44] Speaker A: Oh, definitely not doing the show. [00:08:45] Speaker B: Yeah. I don't really do the Madea stuff anymore, but I will typically watch his movies at least once. And the last few ones that have come out have been okay. The. The. What is it called? Male Cuppa Mia Copa Mia Copa was all right. The. What is it? Divorcing Black. Divor. What was it called? Yeah, Divorcing Blackness, Divorcing Black or whatever it was called with Megan. Good. You know, those were acrimony. Well, yeah, acrimony. But acrimony was from a long time ago. I was talking about the ones that kind of recent. So. Yeah. So his movies to me are a whole lot better than his shows. And the Madea stuff is just kind of played at this point. Like, we're doing a lot with. Still doing the Madea stuff, but his shows are really where I can't get down because I have to have good acting. [00:09:42] Speaker A: I mean, in a TV show. Yes. Because you're kind of. You're kind of with the. With the series or a sitcom, you kind of find yourself. You're more tied to the characters than you are in a movie because it's a longevity thing. I'm going back from week to a week to see what happens to this character. [00:09:57] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:09:57] Speaker A: In the movie. I'm gonna sit down in this two hours and I'm gonna find out what happened. [00:10:01] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:10:01] Speaker A: To them right there. [00:10:03] Speaker B: Cuz Deval. Deval is actually. Deval Ellis is actually one of my favorite people to kind of follow on Instagram and all this stuff. He. He's a genuinely funny person, but I watched five minutes of Sisters when it first came out, and I was like, absolutely not. [00:10:17] Speaker A: Yeah. I couldn't. Not the shows. I just can't do any of them. [00:10:21] Speaker B: They say that he's gotten better, but. [00:10:23] Speaker A: Nah, I'm good. [00:10:25] Speaker B: I'm like, nah, I'm good. I can't get down with It. [00:10:29] Speaker A: So first off, right now, turn this. If you have not seen the movie, turn this off. Because this is a complete spoiler. I'm not. I'm not holding back. I'm not. I'm not gonna leave anything. [00:10:43] Speaker B: I remember everything because, you know, my memory is terrible and you be going deep and stuff. And I've only watched it like one time, but. [00:10:50] Speaker A: Okay, I've only watched it once, but. [00:10:53] Speaker B: Your memory is better than mine. [00:10:54] Speaker A: Yeah. And then of course, there's Internet, so. [00:10:58] Speaker B: Yes, there is that. [00:11:00] Speaker A: But if you're. If you haven't watched it and you can't. I'm a person where I could watch. I could listen to you talk about something. You could tell me the plot, you could tell me what happens in the end, and I'm still go watch it. It don't bother me none. I'mma go watch it regardless. But for most of you, you are not. So cut it off now. Cut the podcast off. If you're listening in your car. If you are on YouTube right now, cut it. [00:11:24] Speaker B: You need to cut it. [00:11:30] Speaker A: But go ahead, cut it off now so that you don't. So that you don't. So that we don't spoil it for you. Because if you have not watched it and we do spoil it for you, I do believe that. That the ending will. Knowing the ending will definitely ruin it. It would definitely ruin the way you watch the movie. It's going to ruin everything a thousand percent. [00:11:54] Speaker B: Because I. Well, I did watch a portion of it for a second time because I watched the first time by myself and I watched it a little bit with my mom the second time. I fell asleep on it the second time, but. And it definitely changes the way, like, you can't be as dialed in. Cause it's like, because you know, you. [00:12:09] Speaker A: Know, her mind frame, you know, her mindset in that moment. And it's like, yeah. Cause the first. It caught me. [00:12:17] Speaker B: Yeah, it caught me off guard too. I was like. [00:12:19] Speaker A: I was like, wait a minute. [00:12:21] Speaker B: What did I just inter. What? Because it was it. And it was one of those things where, you know, you kind of start second guessing whether or not you miss something along the way. Because it felt like it felt like it was a plot twist that kind of didn't make sense. Yeah, you know, like, you know how you have plot twist sometimes you're like, oh, snap. That's why that happened. And that's why that happened. I didn't really get that. [00:12:48] Speaker A: Well, in. In the. If you watch. So people that are still watching, you watched it already. So you know, where we at? [00:12:56] Speaker B: Or you don't care or you don't care? One of the two. [00:12:58] Speaker A: So my thing was in the mindset of her. I think I connected. Before I get to that question, I'm gonna ask you this question. This movie. Did the movie tug at your heartstrings? Any. Like, did it make you. [00:13:13] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:13:14] Speaker A: Did it. Did it make you almost get to the tears or did you get to them? [00:13:17] Speaker B: No, I didn't get to tears. [00:13:18] Speaker A: Did one drop and eyes water up? [00:13:21] Speaker B: No. Really? So here's the thing with me in Tyler Perry movies, so I really appreciate that Tyler Perry is always trying to highlight Spotlight the black experience, specifically the black woman experience. And I know that he's very intentional about wanting to do that. It just always feels like a lot. And I'm not saying that people. I know that people's lives are hard. I know that folks can experience a lot in a very short amount of time. But this movie was 24 hours. [00:14:01] Speaker A: It was one day. [00:14:02] Speaker B: It was. [00:14:03] Speaker A: No, it wasn't even 24 hours. [00:14:04] Speaker B: You're right. You wasn't even. [00:14:05] Speaker A: It was 12 hours. [00:14:06] Speaker B: Even a whole day. So within the span of a day. Well, I would say 24 hours. Because it started with her losing her daughter the night before. [00:14:15] Speaker A: Yeah. But as we're watching it, you're watching. She can't get a paycheck. [00:14:23] Speaker B: Yes. Not even that. This daughter is sick. [00:14:28] Speaker A: Chronically sick. [00:14:29] Speaker B: Chronically sick. And so. [00:14:32] Speaker A: And then they teach her at school. [00:14:33] Speaker B: Teeth. And she don't have the money because. [00:14:35] Speaker A: She don't have the lunch money. [00:14:36] Speaker B: Yes. This is how we started. [00:14:37] Speaker A: It's $40. [00:14:38] Speaker B: It's $40. [00:14:39] Speaker A: And first off, even if the child had not had passed on, I don't want to school and smack that teacher. You hear me? [00:14:48] Speaker B: So you really going to face. [00:14:49] Speaker A: And you're really gonna withhold me, my child, and allow her to get teased? Because I cannot afford. [00:14:58] Speaker B: You're not allowing her to get teased. You're the one that's teasing her. Yeah, but the teacher is the one that's teasing her. Like, oh, she would have had to see me right there parking this car. And give me your hand, baby. Cause we walking in here together. [00:15:13] Speaker A: Yes. And I'm sitting. Yes. [00:15:16] Speaker B: And I have questions that need answers. [00:15:17] Speaker A: No, no, no, no, no. See, I'm a little bit different. I'm a little petty. I would come in there and say, hey, I wanna. I wanna monitor. You know, you can visit the class. And I don't have. And I'm not. And I'm not bringing this $40. [00:15:30] Speaker B: I got time today. I got time today. [00:15:32] Speaker A: Today. [00:15:32] Speaker B: Today I have. [00:15:33] Speaker A: And what I want you to do is not get my child at lunch. Don't give my baby her lunch today while I'm sitting there. Don't give her her lunch. [00:15:41] Speaker B: But he. She. She was getting lunch. Free lunch. [00:15:46] Speaker A: No. Whatever it is my baby want, if you was holding her up for this $40 a week, do it today. I done lost. I'm about to lose my house. I don't. My. My damn boss is an asshole. I want to kill him. God damn. They going to give you my check. [00:16:06] Speaker B: But listen, this hasn't even started. [00:16:10] Speaker A: This is just the morning time when I drop her off. [00:16:14] Speaker B: We choosing violence early from rip. We starting out here because. [00:16:22] Speaker A: Because, like, as. Because to me, as a educator, a thousand percent. I've never gone into any situation and said, I am not giving this kid. [00:16:38] Speaker B: Or make you feel less or make you. [00:16:40] Speaker A: Or making a kid feel less than. Because. [00:16:43] Speaker B: Because of circumstances. They can't even control that. [00:16:45] Speaker A: A child. What was she, like, 7 or 8? [00:16:48] Speaker B: It doesn't matter if she was 10. [00:16:50] Speaker A: Or 12 or even 15. Because I've had kids. I teach high school. Veronda did as well. We've had kids. A multiplicity of times who can't afford. So broke they can't afford free lunch. [00:17:06] Speaker B: Yep. Or times we fed kids. [00:17:09] Speaker A: And please don't even get me started there. I got so many children. That's not my life. [00:17:14] Speaker B: I'm not selected no more. [00:17:16] Speaker A: Yeah. I can't. [00:17:17] Speaker B: Y' all miss me? I don't need no more kids. [00:17:21] Speaker A: Coach E, Can I come live with you? I'm never doing that again. [00:17:24] Speaker B: You did have a halfway house or what's the other term? Group home. Yes. Yes. You had a group home. You was just out here collecting children. [00:17:37] Speaker A: It was Chris, Peter, Eric, you know, God. God bless. Him and his fan. God bless, you know, RP Eric and his. His little brother. And it was me. [00:17:52] Speaker B: The thing is, you was enrolling these kids in school like you were. You were taking on full responsibility for other people's children. [00:18:00] Speaker A: Yes. I know what it's like when these. Cause those kids, they wanted a better opportunity than what they were having in their home. And I knew what it's like growing up in a situation where I didn't necessarily not have. But I know when there's something else out there, you end up going down the road you don't want to go down because the streets are always waiting on you. [00:18:23] Speaker B: Oh, a thousand percent. [00:18:25] Speaker A: And I felt like what my charge was Because I had gone down the path I had gone down. My charge was to help those kids. So when I'm watching this movie and I'm looking at this teacher at the time, and we don't know what has happened, but this teacher is like, to the point where my baby come home and I feel bad that I don't have this $40. No, I got time today, ma' am. [00:18:53] Speaker B: Got time. [00:18:54] Speaker A: I have nothing but time for you and this $40. Matter of fact. [00:18:58] Speaker B: Park in the car. [00:18:59] Speaker A: Matter of fact, you're going to pay her $40 today. [00:19:01] Speaker B: Listen, that's what I was thinking. [00:19:03] Speaker A: You're going to pay. [00:19:04] Speaker B: Concerned about it since it's you. [00:19:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:19:06] Speaker B: It's coming out of your check. [00:19:07] Speaker A: Yeah. Out your pocket. Purse. [00:19:09] Speaker B: Now deduct. [00:19:12] Speaker A: And so she drops her daughter off. She kind of goes and she says, hey, I gotta go to work. I gotta get my check so that I can bring. [00:19:20] Speaker B: As soon as she walks through the doors at their job. [00:19:23] Speaker A: This. What's his. What's. What's his name? [00:19:26] Speaker B: I have never seen Sergeant Whatever his face be mean before. [00:19:30] Speaker A: Was that. [00:19:31] Speaker B: That's a dude from a different world. [00:19:33] Speaker A: That what? That's also. Let's go way back. That's Preach. [00:19:38] Speaker B: Now, Glenn Turman, never seen him play somebody mean, man. [00:19:43] Speaker A: Listen, let me tell you something. Man can act. [00:19:46] Speaker B: He can. [00:19:47] Speaker A: He was on her. [00:19:49] Speaker B: I was like, oh, my God. [00:19:51] Speaker A: He was on her. [00:19:53] Speaker B: Not. Not. What was his name? Colonel whatever from Colonel Taylor. Colonel Taylor. Not Colonel Taylor out here being mean. [00:20:01] Speaker A: He was on her. [00:20:02] Speaker B: I said, oh, my gosh. [00:20:04] Speaker A: Like, he was like. And he told her she had like 30 minutes. The daughter school don't call. [00:20:08] Speaker B: She got 30 minutes to go get there and come back. [00:20:11] Speaker A: And come back. [00:20:14] Speaker B: Colonel Taylor was out here dropping the F bomb. I said, colonel Taylor can cuss. Like, how was you. Well. [00:20:19] Speaker A: Well, if you saw him in what it was. What's the movie he was in? He played the character Preach. It's a 1970s movie. [00:20:29] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:20:29] Speaker A: Cooley High. [00:20:30] Speaker B: Oh, you know, I hadn't seen that in so long. [00:20:33] Speaker A: Yeah. Preaching coaches, if you watch him and he does some cursing and then he also was. He was also in. He was also a pimp in a movie. [00:20:41] Speaker B: He was a pimp. [00:20:42] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:42] Speaker B: Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Oh, my gosh. My whole soul is being snatched right now. Colonel, how could you. [00:20:51] Speaker A: Oh, Lord. What's it. Come on, come on, come on. [00:20:54] Speaker B: Let me find out her. Colonel Taylor got dipped. [00:20:57] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm a drop because I got it on. Matter of fact, I'm A dress. I got it on my phone. Because it's a funny scene where this dude, he has sex with somebody wife and the dude come home and he put. He dude start talking trash and he whip out his, his razor blade. What you talking about now? [00:21:18] Speaker B: Oh my. Yeah. See, I don't know none of his earlier stuff. [00:21:22] Speaker A: Yeah, nah, it's, it's funny. But you know, he great actor, did a great job with the role. [00:21:28] Speaker B: But yeah, so that was step two. [00:21:30] Speaker A: That was, that was step two in her journey. 24 hours, school calls, she goes. [00:21:36] Speaker B: Her kid gets taken away from. From the school. So that means. And, and she thinks that the, the well, not thinks, but she, she knows that. I don't think that was the teacher. I think that was the principal. [00:21:48] Speaker A: That was. Do you think that was the principal? [00:21:50] Speaker B: No, I think that was the principal called child services because they said she was dirty. She was dirty and she always came to school hungry. [00:22:02] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:22:02] Speaker B: Which take half of these kids, if that's what we're going off of. [00:22:05] Speaker A: Yes, half. All. [00:22:08] Speaker B: Not all the kids are dirty and hungry. Now that is just not an accurate statement. [00:22:14] Speaker A: But no, it's to, to the point where, you know, they say you're supposed to report things. You gotta be as teachers. [00:22:26] Speaker B: We're mandated reporters. [00:22:27] Speaker A: Yeah, but it's abuse. And from knowing her, the teacher and the principal, everybody at school should have known that that was not the case. She was not abusing her child. Her child has seizures. That child has seizures, asthma. If it was an infliction, she had it. And. [00:22:54] Speaker B: Yousef. Carry on. [00:22:57] Speaker A: So it's killing me. I cannot remember this movie. But he ends up, I mean, she ends up losing her because all the. [00:23:11] Speaker B: Morning we still end in the afternoon. [00:23:13] Speaker A: This woman ain't been at work clocked in for 45 minutes yet. The Super Nick clock in for work 45 minutes yet and she still didn't. [00:23:22] Speaker B: Come there with this $40. Oh. Cause we ain't talking about how she tried to go to the bank. [00:23:25] Speaker A: Yeah. No, wait, she ain't got to the bank yet. [00:23:27] Speaker B: Yes, she went to the bank before she went to the school because she was trying to. She was trying to get the $40 in advance. No, she was trying to get the $40 out of the bank. But they wouldn't let her get the money because she didn't, she didn't know she only had like 47 and some, some amount of cent. [00:23:42] Speaker A: And I'm submissed that part. [00:23:43] Speaker B: Our girl Sherry was like, if you take that $40 out, then it's going to Close your bank account. [00:23:49] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:49] Speaker B: Then she went to the school to discover that her child was going to be taken. Going to be taken. And still didn't have $40. So then she leaves the school to go back to work. It's pouring out rain outside. She gets in a car accident. Yusuf, you can't find it. [00:24:15] Speaker A: It's JD's revenge. [00:24:17] Speaker B: Yeah, I ain't never seen that. I ain't never even heard of that. [00:24:21] Speaker A: I think that's it. [00:24:22] Speaker B: Focus. [00:24:23] Speaker A: Okay, I'm sorry. [00:24:24] Speaker B: You focusing on the wrong stuff. [00:24:25] Speaker A: I'm sorry. Come on. No. Okay. [00:24:27] Speaker B: Straw. [00:24:28] Speaker A: Got you. All right. [00:24:29] Speaker B: She left the school. When she left the school, it's pouring out rain. [00:24:34] Speaker A: Yes. And then she goes and gets in the car. [00:24:35] Speaker B: She gets in the car. She gets in a car accident. [00:24:38] Speaker A: That wasn't her fault. [00:24:41] Speaker B: The car accident was her fault. [00:24:42] Speaker A: I don't think it was her fault. [00:24:43] Speaker B: That car accident was her fault originally because she was trying to go around. Because she was trying to get back to work. [00:24:49] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:24:50] Speaker B: And she. She hit old dude. The cop. The cop. And then he went berserk. And then he spun her out. [00:24:56] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:24:57] Speaker B: So he hit her again. [00:24:57] Speaker A: That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. [00:24:59] Speaker B: And then he was like, I got time today. [00:25:02] Speaker A: And then I went to get her locked up. [00:25:06] Speaker B: Baby ain't even have her license. Her license. Registration was expired. Like, I just. Over here. No wonder your straw about to break a camel's back, like, ma' am. [00:25:19] Speaker A: So. Okay, see, I didn't see it. You said I saw. I didn't saw. I didn't see the name Straw as symbolizing the strawberry. I saw Straw as symbolizing the last straw. [00:25:31] Speaker B: Same thing. [00:25:33] Speaker A: I mean, you know. [00:25:34] Speaker B: Yeah, potato, potato. Yes. But I'm saying, like, that's the. But that's beautiful. Of English and also, like. Yes. English as a language, but also English as a subject. Is that you can get multiple meanings out of. [00:25:45] Speaker A: Yeah, multiple out of it. [00:25:46] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:25:48] Speaker A: Analytical perspectives. [00:25:49] Speaker B: Yes. And so you could tell we went to school for. I mean, just. Okay, now that we've nerded out there. Yes. We can go on back. [00:25:57] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:58] Speaker B: So, yeah. So she gets back to the. To the. What you call it, finally. The job. [00:26:04] Speaker A: Get back to the job to find. [00:26:05] Speaker B: Out what she find out. [00:26:08] Speaker A: You said she has been fired because. [00:26:10] Speaker B: How long has it been? It's been an hour instead of 30 minutes. And so. And so saw her across the street at the bank. [00:26:20] Speaker A: At the bank. [00:26:21] Speaker B: And snitched on her. [00:26:22] Speaker A: Yes. She did not go straight to school. She went to the bank. [00:26:28] Speaker B: I said, who need friends? If you got any means, I hate you. [00:26:33] Speaker A: Then. No, wait, before that. She goes home. [00:26:38] Speaker B: I thought she went home. She went home after she got fired? [00:26:40] Speaker A: Yeah, that's right. After she got fired. She goes home and all her stuff is outside. [00:26:45] Speaker B: All her stuff is outside in the rain. [00:26:48] Speaker A: And the late. The landlord asked her, well, do you have my money? She said, my stuff is outside, but do you have my money? Well, they didn't have my. They didn't. They didn't give me my check. See, I knew you weren't gonna have your check, so I went ahead and put your stuff outside. I knew you were gonna have my money. [00:27:01] Speaker B: Oh, he wouldn't give her her check because if you know anything about how things work, then you know that your last check is mail. And it's sitting on his desk. [00:27:10] Speaker A: You got it right there in the back. [00:27:14] Speaker B: And he knows this lady need this money. [00:27:16] Speaker A: And really all she wanted was $40. [00:27:18] Speaker B: 40. That's it. [00:27:21] Speaker A: She didn't want her rent. [00:27:22] Speaker B: She wanted her rent in her $40. She wasn't asking for a lot. [00:27:25] Speaker A: She really wasn't. Her rent and 40. That man literally could have gave her $40 out of. [00:27:30] Speaker B: Out of the thing out the cash register. [00:27:32] Speaker A: Out the cash register. Could have gave it to her. The cash register. Then her stuff's outside. She picks up the baby science project. [00:27:41] Speaker B: Oh, and puts it in the book bag. This dang on science project. [00:27:46] Speaker A: She goes back and the medicine. [00:27:47] Speaker B: She did put a couple of her medicine there. [00:27:52] Speaker A: Goes back to the job and is like, you know what? I need this money. [00:27:57] Speaker B: This is really when things decline. [00:27:58] Speaker A: She sound like old girl. Off of. Off a. Set it off. I need this money. [00:28:05] Speaker B: Don't do. Don't do my girl. What was her name? Don't do her like that. Even though that is what she. She got on my nerves. Like, I would have dropped her. She would have been my friend. [00:28:16] Speaker A: I need this money. [00:28:17] Speaker B: You the reason why we all about to be in jail, talking about, you need some money. [00:28:20] Speaker A: Yeah, she ran. I remember watching that movie in the movie theater. Boy, the whole damn movie theater cried when she ran off. [00:28:30] Speaker B: First off, ran off, but then ran into the bank all day. Like, what are you doing? What is happening right now? Either you're in or you're out. Choose a side. [00:28:39] Speaker A: Choose a. [00:28:41] Speaker B: Choose a freaking side and stay there. [00:28:45] Speaker A: But she goes back. She goes back to the job. She's like, look, can I please get my shit? Only to find out when she walks. [00:28:55] Speaker B: I might shed a tear today. Like, talking about it Might be a little bit different watching it. Because watching it, I just was so perturbed. I was like nothing else could potentially. It couldn't possibly get any worse. [00:29:04] Speaker A: It could get any worse. [00:29:05] Speaker B: And the moment you think it can't get no worse is when it gets worse. [00:29:08] Speaker A: She goes into the office. [00:29:10] Speaker B: It's about to get worse, people. [00:29:12] Speaker A: Can I get my check? [00:29:13] Speaker B: Can I get my check? They're sitting right here. You can give me my name. [00:29:17] Speaker A: I already told you. [00:29:19] Speaker B: Let me point it out for you. This is my chick. It has my name. [00:29:22] Speaker A: Slid that shit back. [00:29:24] Speaker B: He did. He did. Oh, Colonel Taylor. [00:29:30] Speaker A: And she. She goes ahead. Please, sir, I need this check. You don't understand. I don't have to understand. He's being an only the fucking. [00:29:41] Speaker B: He's dropping all the F bombs. I said, colonel Taylor, you ain't gotta say not another F word ever. [00:29:45] Speaker A: And just when you thought. Just when you thought it couldn't get no worse, somebody walks in to rob the dick. [00:29:52] Speaker B: Who robs a grocery store in the. [00:29:54] Speaker A: Middle of the day? [00:29:56] Speaker B: Who robs a dang home grocery store? Once again, there's a bank right across the street. You do remember this, right? There's a Frankenbank right across the street. It ain't far. They came to rob the grocery store. Carry on. [00:30:12] Speaker A: What you doing back here? What the fuck you mean, excuse my life? [00:30:16] Speaker B: That's what he said. [00:30:17] Speaker A: What you doing back here? [00:30:18] Speaker B: He cussing out the folks, about to come and take your money. Then. [00:30:23] Speaker A: At this point, I think that's when she just had enough. She was like, y' all could take whatever you want. [00:30:30] Speaker B: I just gave her my check. [00:30:31] Speaker A: I just want my check. Just, can I please have my check? Now, here's where I think Tyler Perry took a turn OTP3. [00:30:43] Speaker B: With this book bag. [00:30:45] Speaker A: Not only the book bag, you fight the man with the gun. [00:30:49] Speaker B: But she was fighting it over this book bag because he wanted to take the book bag so he could put the money in it. The book bag had the baby science project, and she refused to give up this book bag. I'd be like, well, can I just have the science project out and you just take the book back. [00:31:06] Speaker A: Science project and my check. I want nothing else but the science. [00:31:11] Speaker B: Project because she gave her last for the batteries in that science project. We didn't say that part, but that's what she told the baby fights, the. [00:31:18] Speaker A: Boy wins and shoots him. [00:31:23] Speaker B: Shoots him. Other boy runs, then, oh, Colonel Taylor. [00:31:28] Speaker A: Colonel Taylor. Got it. [00:31:30] Speaker B: Well, first off, Colonel Taylor proceeds to blame her for setting it up. They're about to try to take me out where you stood here. [00:31:41] Speaker A: And the only reason they said my name was because I had on my name tag. [00:31:46] Speaker B: Name tag. Biggest day. Oh, you set this up. You set me up. You said, oh, I'm calling the police on you, Colonel Taylor. [00:31:53] Speaker A: What now? You got to die. Jaleesa Vincent Taylor didn't kill you. You ain't going home to Jaleesa today. [00:32:08] Speaker B: You are getting taken out. Not, you know, Jaleesa. Whole name. [00:32:12] Speaker A: Jaleesa Vincent. [00:32:13] Speaker B: I love this For Jaleesa. Okay. Jaleesa Vincent Taylor. That is definitely her name. Okay? So. Yep. And then Colonel Taylor is now unalived. [00:32:26] Speaker A: Unalived. And then she commences to not take any of the money. [00:32:30] Speaker B: Just her check. That's all she wanted. [00:32:33] Speaker A: Just her check. [00:32:34] Speaker B: First off, if she would have gotten the money in cash, then she wouldn't even have to go across the street to the bank. [00:32:38] Speaker A: She wouldn't have needed her check. [00:32:40] Speaker B: Like, you didn't even have to take all the cash if that was what you wanted to do. There was definitely cash in that safe. [00:32:45] Speaker A: She could have just took the $40. [00:32:50] Speaker B: She stressed me out. Just stressed me the heck out. [00:32:54] Speaker A: Because that was the question I asked. I was like, well, shit, you already in trouble. You might as well just take the cash. Because I. [00:33:03] Speaker B: Cash your own check. [00:33:04] Speaker A: I didn't know she was gonna go across the street. I know she's gonna go across the street and try to cash her check. [00:33:10] Speaker B: Oh, Lord. She could have cashed her own check. She could have cashed her own check, people. But she went across the street. [00:33:15] Speaker A: So she ends up going across the. [00:33:17] Speaker B: Street to this bank for the second. [00:33:18] Speaker A: Time, gives them the check. She doesn't have any id, so they can't cash the check. [00:33:23] Speaker B: Because she got her ID taken. Because her license and registration was expired when she got in this car accident where the white man tried to take a life. [00:33:32] Speaker A: Now, do you believe that the teller was wrong for not cashing her check? [00:33:41] Speaker B: You know, I don't know. [00:33:44] Speaker A: No, I don't. The woman was doing her job. [00:33:46] Speaker B: She. I mean, she honestly was doing her job. [00:33:48] Speaker A: And she doesn't know. She doesn't have the precursor of knowing everything else that had happened to her. [00:33:53] Speaker B: Yes. Yeah. [00:33:54] Speaker A: I feel like now it got to a point where she does find out, and she still acts like an ass. [00:33:59] Speaker B: But then initially, I mean, you can't blame folks for. [00:34:04] Speaker A: Yeah, for doing their job. [00:34:05] Speaker B: Right. Because you're under the same scrutiny. Like, we'll both be without a job. [00:34:08] Speaker A: Yeah. You already don't have one, apparently. [00:34:11] Speaker B: And my stuff not getting put outside in the rain like. [00:34:14] Speaker A: No, not for you. No, not somebody. I don't know. If I get fired, it's gonna be something I do myself. [00:34:19] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:34:20] Speaker A: To benefit me. [00:34:22] Speaker B: Exactly. So, yeah, no, I guess I can get with the fact that, I mean, she was a butthole. [00:34:27] Speaker A: Oh, no, completely. [00:34:28] Speaker B: But she. I understand why she. [00:34:31] Speaker A: And then do it. She commences to push the check with the same gun. Can't understand why this woman is giving her all. [00:34:42] Speaker B: The gun has blood on it. And ladies like, oh, my gosh. That's what I mean to say. The check has blood on it. She's like, oh, my gosh. Did your child get into it? Is this ketchup? No, ma' am. That ain't ketchup. That ain't ketchup, sis. But okay, go off. If you knew what we knew. [00:34:59] Speaker A: She gives her all this money and. [00:35:00] Speaker B: She'S like, look, all I want you. [00:35:02] Speaker A: To do is my $500 cash. This 500 check, please. Can I just have that? And I'll be gone. [00:35:09] Speaker B: And they're like, they've actually made their lives harder in this robbery. Like, they made it escalate. And you kind of. I mean, it's not that you don't get it because it's flatter. It's fight, flight or freeze. Right? [00:35:20] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:35:20] Speaker B: There's another one now. What's the other? It's dang. Somebody said it the other day and I was like, oh, frown. [00:35:35] Speaker A: Who? Fawn. [00:35:37] Speaker B: What? [00:35:37] Speaker A: Fight, flight. Freeze. A fawn. [00:35:41] Speaker B: I don't remember it being no fun. [00:35:42] Speaker A: What is the four instinctive stress responses triggered by perceived threats? Fight. The response involves confronting the threat. Flight. The response involves escaping or avoiding. Freeze. This response involves becoming immobilized. And Fawn. This response involves attempting to appease or placate the threat, often through people pleasing behaviors to avoid conflict. [00:36:07] Speaker B: And that's what they were doing. That's what she was doing. She was in. She was in the fawn mode where she was trying to give her what she thought that she would want in this situation. [00:36:14] Speaker A: Because she thought she was robbing the bank. [00:36:16] Speaker B: Right. But not actually hearing what she's saying. [00:36:20] Speaker A: Because all she saw was the gun. [00:36:21] Speaker B: That's it. [00:36:22] Speaker A: She didn't see nothing else but this gun. [00:36:23] Speaker B: Yeah. And so after that, like, all other senses just completely shut down. And. And I don't ne. Because I don't know what I would have done in that situation. You know, I'm out here just trying to do my job. But. [00:36:35] Speaker A: But no, I know she's only asking for the money in her check. [00:36:38] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:36:38] Speaker A: But here's my thing. You could count your 500, count however. [00:36:45] Speaker B: Much you want, and then just push it on back. [00:36:47] Speaker A: Yeah. And you could. You can leave the rest on the counter. Me personally. I'mma go hide underneath here. I'mma be under here. [00:36:54] Speaker B: Not me personally. [00:36:55] Speaker A: If you need me, I'm under here. [00:36:59] Speaker B: Try not to need me. [00:37:01] Speaker A: You know, Homer Simpson, that thing sliding into the bush, going underneath the car. [00:37:10] Speaker B: I have given you more than enough. [00:37:12] Speaker A: For you to make a decision about what it is you need. [00:37:16] Speaker B: Oh, God. [00:37:18] Speaker A: And then they thought that the. The thing was a bomb, and. [00:37:21] Speaker B: Oh, that. That bank situation was a lot. [00:37:24] Speaker A: Yeah. And then we end up coming to find out that her daughter's actually died. And because she tells the bank manager that she felt this more last night, like something in her cracked when her daughter was sick at the hospital. And so apparently it was her mental state. [00:37:45] Speaker B: Yes. Because she asked the bank manager. She asked Sherry. Sherry shepherd to. To take her daughter, because at this point, she knows that she's going to jail. But she's also, like, super paranoid, which, I mean, she has every right to be, because the white cop threatened her. And she's like, I'm not coming out. Out there unless the white cop is gone. And so that's what actually prolonged things is because nobody was listening at what it. Like, they weren't taking what she was saying at face value. They were trying to make it a deeper thing and put her in a category of a criminal. Then just simply hear what I'm saying to you. Like, my demands are real simple. I ain't asking for no helicopter. Like, whatever these other folks might do that's over the top. [00:38:24] Speaker A: I just want to check ca. [00:38:25] Speaker B: My check cash so I could pay my rent, and it's $40 to my escalated. All I want you to do is make sure that a white cop that threatened to take my life is not out there. [00:38:32] Speaker A: It's not out there. [00:38:33] Speaker B: That's it. [00:38:34] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:38:34] Speaker B: I'll do whatever y' all want me to do from there. [00:38:37] Speaker A: Do you think that on a great. On a greater scale, I think the. The. The movie highlighted a few things. What happens when a strong black woman cracks? Do you think that this covered the stereotype of, you know, what's the danger of being a strong black woman in today's society? [00:38:59] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, and I. I think one of the things that I have learned in my adult years is the very, very, very thin line between sanity and insanity. Like, the mind is the most powerful and fragile tool in Your body, like within a flip of a switch, it could be gone. [00:39:27] Speaker A: You could be. [00:39:28] Speaker B: It could be a completely different state that you're in and be labeled as the strong person. The. Oh, my gosh, I didn't ever think that this would be. [00:39:37] Speaker A: That this person would do this. [00:39:39] Speaker B: Yeah. But right circumstances, right situation, right combination of all the things, and it's. It's. It's lights out, or it's, you know, just a completely different iteration of a person. So I. I do think that it is the danger. And it's one of the lessons that I've tried to be so intentional about actually learning and applying as a black woman, as I've gotten older, because I'm a. I internalize things. I'm one of those people where if I'm going through something, I'm not necessarily the person that's going to volunteer the information or go seek somebody out to, you know, kind of ask for help. You lay everything down and all that stuff. But once I started going to therapy, I saw how detrimental operating in that way in the name of, you know, being strong. Being strong and saving other people and making sure that I'm not being a burden to anybody. The danger of that. [00:40:40] Speaker A: And. And I. I also feel like it also. I think a lot of women struggle with dealing with trauma, and I think this kind of showed. And I had this in my notes here. The question is, you know, how do societal expectations shape how women, especially mothers, cope with trauma? Because of the expectation of, you have to be the strong black woman. But you done went through this. You done went through something tragic, and you're still expected. [00:41:05] Speaker B: Yep. [00:41:07] Speaker A: After finding out that her child. [00:41:09] Speaker B: Nobody intervened. [00:41:10] Speaker A: I'm going back and thinking, nobody. That means her boss knew that her child was dead. [00:41:18] Speaker B: That means her mother knew. [00:41:19] Speaker A: That means her mother knew and let. [00:41:21] Speaker B: Her go home alone that her child was dead. [00:41:24] Speaker A: That means her landlord knew that her child was dead. Like, all these people knew that. [00:41:29] Speaker B: And they watched her do crazy stuff. And even the principal, teacher, whoever it is, that she was, that was the only indication where it was like, oh, okay, maybe something was off because she was looking at her real funny when she dropped the daughter off. But nobody intervened. Nobody took the time to say, hey, are you okay? Because that was the only thing that confused me about the best friend. Because it was like the best friend played along. I was like. That was the thing that really threw me off about the ending. [00:41:56] Speaker A: I'm gonna tell you what. But the thing. The only issue I had with. The only issue I had with the film is the thing that I find the most interesting about the film. And it is what the first. Until we find out that the daughter's dead, we're literally watching through a mental break her lens. It's through what. What she sees. So we don't even know for sure that the friend is playing along with this. [00:42:21] Speaker B: That's true. [00:42:22] Speaker A: So we're watching it through that lens of. We're watching it from her perspective. We're not watching it from. It's not third person omniscient perspective that we're watching it from. You know what I'm saying? [00:42:34] Speaker B: But even like it's the first person perspective in the rewinding of things. Whenever, once you find out that the daughter has passed and they kind of chart the course from what the reality of it was. [00:42:46] Speaker A: Yeah. Opening the car door and nobody's getting in. [00:42:49] Speaker B: You see all of that. But the best friend was the only outlier that wasn't really explained. And so I think, like, that was the only part that might have been a little off about the plot, but I think to your. And something that really just kind of was very intriguing to me and just really, really stood out was this idea of. And we women say it all the time, and even men. Like, I don't have anybody else. Like, it's just like, I'm alone in this. The number of times that she said that. And number one, I find it. [00:43:23] Speaker A: That stood out to me too. [00:43:24] Speaker B: Yeah. I find it very curious when people say things like that, because number one, I. I think it's kind of impossible to say you have no one. Because if you had no one, that means you're literally living someplace. [00:43:36] Speaker A: But if you ask. But if you look at her life, it. She didn't have anybody. [00:43:40] Speaker B: Did she not have anyone? Or did she set up situation, circumstances for her to isolate herself where she had no one. [00:43:47] Speaker A: That's. That's actually valid because. And that kind of segues into my other thing. Some people struggle with asking for help. Yeah, yeah, I know for a fact. I do. [00:44:01] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:44:01] Speaker A: Like, I wholeheartedly struggle with asking for. [00:44:04] Speaker B: Help because even the best friend tried to give her the money. [00:44:06] Speaker A: Yes. [00:44:07] Speaker B: No, like, you're literally. You have. You have nothing, ma' am. Like, your stuff is about to get put outside and you're saying, no, you're not in no position. And also giving away money. Like, Sinbad, I love you. And also, he's. I ain't got nothing for you, sir. [00:44:26] Speaker A: I ain't got it. But went back anyway and gave him. [00:44:30] Speaker B: Something and these two dimes. Ain't gonna help you and whatever it is that you need. So. Yeah. Nah, I, I think like, this idea of mar. It's kind of like a martyrdom complex that women just in general kind of can sometimes take on. And this, this includes me. Where we will set it up for ourselves to be the victim and then get upset that. About the fact that we're the victim. [00:44:57] Speaker A: That we're the victim. Yeah. No, I, I, I, that's why I think I try to, I try to do my best with not going well. This happened. This happened. This happened. So blaming other people for my circumstances, knowing that my decisions have put me in this place. Have my decisions got. There is something. There's a reason you're not living with. There's a reason why Janaya was not living with her mom and having to raise her daughter by herself. But your mom shows up to the hospital. [00:45:34] Speaker B: Yep. [00:45:35] Speaker A: Because it's a granddaughter. [00:45:36] Speaker B: Yep. [00:45:36] Speaker A: So you can't tell me that if you were about to be evicted that your mother would not take in at least, at the least your, your child. You know, you can't tell me that if you called your mother, she would not give you the $40 for her grandchild. Whether she had to borrow it from somewhere, she had to get it from somewhere, she had to take it from another bill, she had to do whatever. Because who knows the, the financial situation that her mom was in. But one thing I know about grandmothers, whether they got it or they don't. [00:46:06] Speaker B: For they grandbaby, they gonna make a way. [00:46:09] Speaker A: They gonna make a way. [00:46:10] Speaker B: And I mean, and even if, cause she, there was a point where she said, you know, my mom and my family, like, they're just, they're, they're not there. Like, they aren't okay. And so that's not a situation, Circumstance that I wanna put my child in. Because that's what the, what Sherri shepherd was asking about whenever she was asking Sherry to take her daughter. [00:46:29] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:46:30] Speaker B: And, and Sherry was like, well, what about your mom? Like, you don't have any other people that you want, you would want her to go to. And she was like, no, no, no. Like, she can't do that. Like, she has to go X, Y and Z place. And the fact that she, it took all of that for her to ask for help. And at this point, it's too late. The fact that you're even asking for help. [00:46:49] Speaker A: Yeah. Because you're going to jail. [00:46:50] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. Like you, you have. [00:46:52] Speaker A: Well, a mental. I think she probably would end up. [00:46:55] Speaker B: I mean, even if you're going to jail. And also you're advocating for a daughter that no longer exists. [00:47:00] Speaker A: Yeah. So I'm talking about thinking about it in real time as I was watching it, and she was asking her these questions before I knew, I was like, man, you know, it's kind of too late for this, homie. [00:47:11] Speaker B: Yeah, it's. I don't know. And not to do victim blaming or victim shaming, because that can also kind of get. That could be a place and you get to a place of just judgment. But I think that from a standpoint or perspective of someone who has been labeled as a strong black woman, I have had to realize that a lot of times when folks are leaning on me so heavily and in the moments where I don't feel like I have anybody else, that's not always other people's doing that is sometimes squarely right. [00:47:44] Speaker A: That's something. [00:47:44] Speaker B: What I've done to myself. Yeah. Those are sometimes circumstances and situations that I have created, either by not setting very clear boundaries or by not opening my mouth. Because I do have the system, the support system, where if I were to say something, folks would show up. But am I going to say something? [00:48:02] Speaker A: Well, I mean, I think that that's where I remember there was. Remember the independent woman movement? You know, it was I N D E P E yelling it in the club. Yeah, we know you can spell. [00:48:15] Speaker B: Can you, though? [00:48:16] Speaker A: Yeah. No, some can't. They didn't know. [00:48:17] Speaker B: That's how you say, look, they knew how to spell independent and Usher, Raven. [00:48:22] Speaker A: U S H E R R A What that. [00:48:26] Speaker B: The millennials, we got that we don't know how to spell. Nothing else. We can spell independent, Usher, Raven. [00:48:31] Speaker A: I think that kind of that. I think that particular era pushed forward, more so than not the strength of the black woman and being strong and holding her own and having to deal with things on her own and not needing a man and all of. And over exerting that to the point where now you almost, in a sense, have to be emotionally detached, like some men are, to be able to cope with everything. Because you don't want to be seen as weak. [00:49:02] Speaker B: Right. [00:49:03] Speaker A: You want to. You want to be seen as, yo, I could do this on my own. I mean, some women wear it as a badge, as a badge of honor. I did this on my own. I didn't get no help from nobody. But not true. That's. Really. Is that really true? [00:49:17] Speaker B: That's not true. There's no one out here that can say authentically, in 100 I've done this by Myself and have, have gotten no help. Like, that's just, that's, that's a lie. [00:49:29] Speaker A: Both, Both face lie. [00:49:31] Speaker B: That is, that is just not true. But I will also say that our generation is the first generation that women have been able to operate in a world where having a man wasn't what defined you. And you can make choices independently for yourself and thrive and, you know, live out and live in and operate in this world. So it's kind of, it's one of those things where in society the pendulum swings so far to the left or so far to the right. We don't, we never figure out how to just kind of get this clean middle ground. [00:50:15] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:50:16] Speaker B: And I think that is what happened because my generation, our generation is the first full, full fledged, full blown generation that has been able to operate in many of the freedoms and rights of what it takes to be independent. And so, you know, whenever you have something new, you, you, you figure out something new. You want to exercise that muscle. And I think that's where a lot of that comes from. But I think that we also kind of forget the value and the beauty of being in relationship, being in partnership, having, you know, somebody else that you can lean and depend on and then not all be on you. So, yeah, I think, I think like, that's one of the, I think that's one of the things that, that's often not talked about. And then within the black community, there's just a whole other layer of it around. [00:51:10] Speaker A: Not going to therapy. [00:51:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:51:11] Speaker A: Not, you know, be that all of that being seen as weak or. [00:51:15] Speaker B: And society really forcing us to be independent because the black man is just taken out of the home. [00:51:22] Speaker A: Like, that was one of my questions. What role does society play in pushing people to desperate acts? [00:51:29] Speaker B: I think for the black people. Oh, child, listen, the fact that you have operational folk, black people out here in this world is a true miracle. It's a true. In the United States of America, black people got a right to be crazy. I, I mean, I, I'm not giving, Go to therapy. Like, you have resources, you have all the things in order for you, for you mentally, mentally to be sound and okay. And also if there's a group of people where you're like, yeah, yeah, I got it. [00:52:03] Speaker A: I understand. I truly understand. I, I understand where you are and how you got here. [00:52:10] Speaker B: I get it. [00:52:12] Speaker A: Another thing that one of the themes that was within the film, invisible systems with visible consequences. You know what I'm saying? [00:52:23] Speaker B: So, like, mouthful there. [00:52:26] Speaker A: Like, seriously, like DSS and housing, all of those all of those things that are supposed to be there for people that don't. That don't have to be there for them, but it seems to be. It's only for them for a certain few. It's not for everybody that's in need. And so if. What is it? I think you can't get this service if you make this much money. But this much money does not sustain me, does not sustain my life. [00:53:04] Speaker B: You gotta be below the poverty line. [00:53:05] Speaker A: Yeah. You gotta be like struggling, struggling. You know, I know somebody who. She has been blessed and I say blessed because her circumstance leads me to not, I would say, judge her because I think our biases allow us to judge people. [00:53:27] Speaker B: Right, right. [00:53:28] Speaker A: That are taking. Because there are some people that are taking vet. And these are the people. The reason why I dislike people that are taking advantage of these invisible systems is because you're taking away from a person that might actually need to use these services. Because. And so because you're, because you're doing it, you're not. You are knocking out somebody who does need it. But the person I'm talking about, she does need it. She has three. She has three kids and one of her sons is chronically sick. So like there's days where she can't. [00:54:01] Speaker B: Go to work for like weeks and. [00:54:04] Speaker A: Months at a time because she has to stay home. [00:54:07] Speaker B: Right. [00:54:08] Speaker A: Covid nearly took out. [00:54:10] Speaker B: Right. [00:54:10] Speaker A: But she's been able to be on Section 8 the entire time. And so she's been blessed with, I think, the ability to be on section 8 the entire time she's been on. She's been able to take advantage of these different things. But she knows from talking to her, she knows a lot of people who are worse off than she is that can't even get into a section 8 or housing or can't get to what's called food snap, food stamps or, you know, I mean, because, because of some whatever with the, you know, single parent. I hear the father ain't taking care of his responsibilities, paying his child support. But they're saying that you're getting it. So since you're getting it, it's just that. And the third, like, you know, so you end up with. And I think that this is what it was for Janiyah. She ended up. All other things around her had failed her because she did try to do it on her own. So I think those things let her down. [00:55:15] Speaker B: Oh, yes. [00:55:16] Speaker A: And so to the point where. So now like, I think it was something with the medication she couldn't afford all the medication. You know. So why was there nothing in place that could help her. [00:55:27] Speaker B: Right. [00:55:27] Speaker A: Get lower cost on medication? Because it was the type of medication she couldn't get. You know, the, the, she couldn't pay for the water. But they have utility things out there that would help you keep your electricity on so you can have hot water. I think the daughter went to bathe herself and that's what caused that. She had the seizure while bathing herself. [00:55:47] Speaker B: And that's how she fell. [00:55:48] Speaker A: Yeah, she fell and that's how she died. So all of these things, it's, it's real consequences for humans to make decisions on for people who need the help. [00:56:02] Speaker B: And to be honest, I think that systems, and specifically talking about systems in the United States of America because that's the only system that I can really speak on, speak to for real. But systems in United States of America and people of color, specifically black people, it's oxymoronic. Like it's the most baffling thing to me. Number one, we have a school system that was never meant for us that we're trying to operate in and wondering why we're failing in it. And then we have systems where that were created and designed under the guise of I'm going to help you in this situation so that you can get on your feet and do whatever, whatever. But what it really does is keep. [00:56:57] Speaker A: You down 100% because you can't to stay on it, to get on your feet. You can't get on your feet too. If you get on your feet, you can't stay on it. [00:57:06] Speaker B: Exactly. So you can't get to a place where I'm able to stabilize because once I get to a place where I'm approaching stabilization, you're going to take out. [00:57:15] Speaker A: Snatch it. [00:57:16] Speaker B: What's, what I need that's going to help me to, to get stabilized. So it's just, it's like, it's just this cyclical thing of this country has created things for us to just that are just designed for our people to fail. And I was actually having this conversation earlier today and I was like it's such a heartbreaking and heart wrenching thing to watch. Folks actually want more, want better try and, and can't get and can't and can't. Can't make headway. But what, what society does is that we highlight people that have made it. You know, even us sitting on this podcast right now, like my mom and my, my parents, like where they come from. It wouldn't indicate that I would be who I am today. Yeah, same you Know, same. And so folks can look at us and it's like, oh, they're a model. So that means that anybody can. Can do it. And this whole idea of pull ourselves up by the bootstraps, that crap is a lie. Like the. The amount of a support system that if one thing had been different, just one small thing had been different. [00:58:35] Speaker A: Life is different. [00:58:38] Speaker B: My life, my trajectory could have been the same. [00:58:39] Speaker A: As Janae, As Janae, I think my friend, Poet King, he has a. A poem called can you, bro, Can. Hey, brother, can you buy me some fries? And he. Basically, the poems is the story about a guy he walks into as he's going into a McDonald's. And this guy outside, ask him, can you buy him some fries? He says, yeah, sure, man. Come on in. I want him to buy you some fries. I'll buy you a whole meal. So while he's waiting on the food, the guy starts to dance, and he's happy and everything, and he. And at the end, I think the final two lines in the poem is, I realized that Everybody is only $5 away from saying, hey, brother, can you buy me some fries? The line is so good. It's so right. It's just like, I could be today, be on top, and because of something that some decision or whatever I have made just slightly differently could have me, a person standing on the side of the road with a piece of cardboard trying to get somebody to give me some money, you know, And I think that. [00:59:56] Speaker B: And also it goes back to the point around the mind being such a fragile thing and us living in this world of, oh, that could never be me, like. And we've seen mental health up close and personal to know, or mental health struggles up close and personal to know that it don't take much. [01:00:13] Speaker A: My brother. My brother's bipolar and dealing with him. Cause I've always said this. My brother is the single most intelligent person I've ever met in my entire life. And he was fine until 2002, and that's when whatever happened caused him to be bipolar. And since then, he just has not been right ever. When he's on his meds, very productive. The issue is, doesn't always take his meds. And in his state of mind, there's nothing wrong with him, but he doesn't see the mental anguish that it puts on my mom, that it puts on my dad, that it puts on my sister, puts on my little brother, puts on me. I think he was missing a month or two ago. Why is everybody calling me in South Carolina to find him in Jersey, you know. But I say that to say he made some decisions that put him in the circumstance and in the place where he had. Because basically he. Somebody laced some weed he had and because they wanted to rob him. And that was after that point. That was the break. Caused him to have a chemical imbalance in his brain, which made him. Which caused him to be bipolar. So we can say whatever we want to say, but if you make a different decision on that day alone, just one. On that day alone, you decide, I'm not going over here to smoke with people I don't know. [01:01:59] Speaker B: And it's not even a string of decisions. [01:02:01] Speaker A: No, it's just one. We all five. I'm telling you, we all $5 away from saying, hey, brother, can you buy me some fries? Because. And just like with her, with Janiyah, one thing led to another, and everything just kept piling upon each other. And we. The thing I would have liked to have seen is, well, why can't she call. Why can't she call on her mom? Why does she feel she can't call on her mom? I would like to see a little bit more of the backstory there. Well, how did she end up where? This grocery store. She doesn't even have a first check yet from this grocery store. I would have liked to have seen that, But I guess that's a part of what makes the movie, you know, slightly good to me. [01:02:43] Speaker B: Yeah. And it also allows you to kind of put yourself. It could be anybody. Right. Because. Because you don't know the backstory. It could be my backstory. It could be your back. It could be anybody's backstory that leads to this place. Disposition. I think, like, that's the. The overall theme and point and purpose of it is to kind of challenge us in our thinking and even in our judgment. [01:03:07] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:03:07] Speaker B: Of people when they're experiencing the things that they are experiencing and going through the things that they're going through of. But given just the right circumstances, it could also be you. You know, what your trigger is, is not necessarily my trigger. And what. My. What. What the circumstances are that would land me there might not be your circumstances, but at the end of the day, everybody has something like whatever that weakness is or whatever that, you know, that blind spot or that gap in understanding of thinking. I listen to a pastor all the time, and he. He said. He quotes all the time. Ignorance is expensive. It's expensive as crap to be dumb. Like, it really is expensive. If we think about it, this up here is our greatest currency. And you know, we got some folks out here that are willfully ignorant, and then, you know, there are those folks that just don't know what they don't know. And so it's like, what category do you find yourself in? And how is it that, you know, we create a world where folks can thrive if that's what they choose to do? [01:04:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:04:19] Speaker B: Instead of having so many different things in play that's going to pick you up and then put you down. Pick you up and then put you down. I draw y' all. [01:04:30] Speaker A: I thought it was a good movie. [01:04:32] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:04:32] Speaker A: Or a good watch. It was entertaining watch. [01:04:34] Speaker B: It was. I did think it kept my attention. [01:04:37] Speaker A: It kept my attention. I only watched it once. I don't think it's a multiple watch. [01:04:41] Speaker B: But, yeah, I fell asleep the second time. [01:04:43] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:04:43] Speaker B: And I think. I think knowing the. Like you said earlier, knowing the end, you can't. [01:04:47] Speaker A: I can't never re. Watch it. [01:04:48] Speaker B: You can't watch it. [01:04:50] Speaker A: I can't. Because I watched it and was getting angry for her. And then I felt at the end, I was like, wait, hold on, child. [01:04:59] Speaker B: You doing all this for a kid? That. [01:05:00] Speaker A: That ain't. Child. [01:05:01] Speaker B: That's unalived. [01:05:02] Speaker A: That's unalived. I mean, I get it, but come on now. [01:05:07] Speaker B: I mean, but that's the thing, though. Like, straw. Like, that's why we are all five. Five straws away. [01:05:16] Speaker A: Five straws away from the last one. [01:05:20] Speaker B: To use our friends, Paul King. [01:05:23] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:05:24] Speaker B: We only five straws away. [01:05:25] Speaker A: So I didn't find it to be so emotional that I wanted to tear up, but there have been some movies that I would not admit to on thing that it's. It did. [01:05:37] Speaker B: Oh, really? I just want to know one. [01:05:39] Speaker A: What for you. What movie made you. [01:05:45] Speaker B: Trying to think of a movie that. [01:05:46] Speaker A: I've watched from a movie because I. I was a guest on the Scumbag Lounge podcast episode comes out will be actually the same day this episode will come out and on all podcast platforms. [01:06:00] Speaker B: And it wasn't even a show. You know something? I mean, it wasn't even a movie. It was a show that made me tear up, and that was. What's the show that's out now? That's all the rave? [01:06:15] Speaker A: Abbott elementary. [01:06:19] Speaker B: Now, what about Abbott elementary about to make somebody tear up? No, we were. We. We talked about this a little bit, and you were. Because you were talking about how you didn't like the show. Well, you didn't say you didn't like the show. Forever. Forever made me tear up. [01:06:33] Speaker A: What part of forever made you Tear up. [01:06:35] Speaker B: What do you mean? Are we about to do another spoiler? [01:06:38] Speaker A: Which that's. We'll do forever on the next episode. I need to know what part of forever. [01:06:43] Speaker B: The last episode. Like, they. They what? They go there. They. You're about to make a spoil. [01:06:50] Speaker A: All right. No, we'll tap into the next episode. We're talking forever. [01:06:55] Speaker B: Yes. And. [01:06:55] Speaker A: And I'm gonna go back and re. Watch. [01:06:57] Speaker B: Okay. Yeah. I've already re. Watched it several times. [01:07:00] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:07:01] Speaker B: So I'm not doing that. But just know, like, it's deeper than it kind of touched me because I related to it in a lot of ways. [01:07:08] Speaker A: I related to it too, in a lot of ways. But it did not make me go, yo, I' ma tear up now. [01:07:15] Speaker B: It did for me. [01:07:16] Speaker A: Pursuit of happiness. [01:07:19] Speaker B: Did I tear up on pursuit of Happiness? You know, I'm a recent crier over movies. [01:07:25] Speaker A: The scene where. And as a father. It's what. It's what? [01:07:30] Speaker B: Okay to me. Okay. But when they had to sleep in. Sleep outside. No, when they had to sleep outside in their bathroom in the train station. [01:07:36] Speaker A: And he was trying to keep the door closed. [01:07:39] Speaker B: Let me tell you something now, that was heart wrenching. [01:07:42] Speaker A: Took your boy out. [01:07:44] Speaker B: That was one. [01:07:45] Speaker A: Took your boy out. [01:07:46] Speaker B: I don't know if I cried, but. [01:07:47] Speaker A: I can understand why that thing had me. I was like, that lipstick. [01:07:53] Speaker B: That lipstick. [01:07:54] Speaker A: And you start looking at the ceiling. [01:07:56] Speaker B: Like, try to hold it vegan all. [01:07:57] Speaker A: And he's going to. What I'm not gonna do? What you not gonna do to me, Will Smith, is have me in here with the damn titch. [01:08:06] Speaker B: And the baby's so innocent. [01:08:07] Speaker A: Yeah. He don't know nothing. [01:08:09] Speaker B: He is so innocent. Don't even know he in danger. [01:08:11] Speaker A: It was just the protectiveness of the father, what he was trying to do. The fact that he had nothing. The mother had his wife, no girlfriend had left him. And just the circumstances, same thing. [01:08:22] Speaker B: And did everything he could to continue to protect his child's innocence. [01:08:26] Speaker A: To protect his child. Yeah. And it's just. And he always showed up for his son. [01:08:30] Speaker B: Always. [01:08:31] Speaker A: No matter how bad stuff was, you. [01:08:34] Speaker B: Know, One thing I was trying to figure out, though, how does son continue to be able to go to daycare? You ain't had no money. [01:08:40] Speaker A: You ain't never seen him when he. When the people were trying to talk to him when he pick him up. [01:08:44] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:08:46] Speaker A: Hey, sir. Hey, sir. You know, he grabbing. Walk right out the door. He. Will Smith walking quick with that little machine and holding that boy. [01:08:54] Speaker B: That ain't Realistic. That still is not realistic. But okay, why not? Gotcha. [01:08:58] Speaker A: He remember he would drop the boy off and not go in. And then when he came to pick him up, he was grabbing by the door and by the time they turned around to find him, he was out. [01:09:07] Speaker B: Still ain't realistic. [01:09:09] Speaker A: No, no, no. I don't think it is either. But. [01:09:11] Speaker B: But yes, that, that was, that was definitely. That was a heart wrenching one. As of a recent. Because I, I didn't. I was a thug when it came to movies. Like crying is a recent development for me. [01:09:23] Speaker A: No, I just. [01:09:24] Speaker B: While watching things, I have to like it. [01:09:26] Speaker A: It literally has to. [01:09:27] Speaker B: Even if it hit. [01:09:30] Speaker A: Cause like I didn't feel emotionally attached in straw. [01:09:34] Speaker B: So like I wouldn't say I wasn't emotionally attached. I was emotionally attached. But I also, I think that I was also looking at it from an analytical standpoint. [01:09:45] Speaker A: That's my problem with watching movies a lot of times is my English brain takes over. [01:09:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:09:51] Speaker A: And especially when it's a lot of analytical. I'll be analyzing characters and. [01:09:57] Speaker B: And especially movies like that where I feel like you are telling a story about a demo. [01:10:04] Speaker A: I don't know a particular demographic of women. [01:10:07] Speaker B: Yeah. And I never could just kind of just watch it and just kind of let it. Let my emotions lead me to watching it. Which is interesting because forever I could. [01:10:17] Speaker A: Well, because I think that like you said, I think that you could with forever. You saw yourself in her. [01:10:25] Speaker B: Yeah. And I really didn't see myself because I was really over here. Like I would. It. My straw would have broke a long time ago if I had to go through all that stuff. [01:10:33] Speaker A: Let me tell you something. I wouldn't have made it out of school. I tell you, like we had. [01:10:37] Speaker B: Your mental break would have been to school. [01:10:39] Speaker A: That movie would have been one scene. The whole day would have been one scene. Me at the school all day waiting on lunch. That would have been. That would have been the movie. [01:10:53] Speaker B: I would have waited on lunch though. I would have met her at the door. [01:10:56] Speaker A: No, I've been waiting on lunch. I'm. No, because I'm waiting for you to not allow my baby to have what everybody else. I'm waiting on it. [01:11:04] Speaker B: I'm not waiting on nothing. If I'm confronting you, I'm confronting you at this threshold as soon as I walk in this door while you standing here greeting the rest of the kids. [01:11:11] Speaker A: No, no, I get that. [01:11:12] Speaker B: Come here, sis. No, but I got questions and they need answers. [01:11:15] Speaker A: See, I'm just a little bit more petty. Like I get. I Get. I need questions. I just. But I want to be in there when you do it. I know you're not going to do it. Matter of fact, you give me $40. I'd have came in here. I came in here. [01:11:27] Speaker B: No, we would have been. We probably would have been swinging outside. [01:11:30] Speaker A: Like, if I had got that gun, I wouldn't have went to the bank. I'd have went to school. [01:11:34] Speaker B: No, I would have been like, I need for you to tell me word for word what you said to my child, like, out of your. And I want you to say it to me like you said it to her, like, reenact the scene, run the playback, run the tape. Let. Because I. I just can't fathom the fact that this is what you did. So help me to understand. [01:11:55] Speaker A: Yeah, it would have been. It would have been a real short. It'd been a real short movie if it was me. [01:12:00] Speaker B: That's where the mental break would have. Oh, yeah, the flip would have switched there. [01:12:03] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, yeah, definitely. But always a pleasure. Always a pleasure being there for you guys. Like I said, next. Next episode, we're gonna talk forever. [01:12:13] Speaker B: We're gonna talk forever. [01:12:13] Speaker A: For sure. We're gonna talk forever. [01:12:15] Speaker B: Which will be a really good thing that the men will get to do their. Ah, since we're gonna talk forever, that's a good. [01:12:23] Speaker A: We'll talk forever. Rhonda, tell the people where they can find you, if they can. [01:12:28] Speaker B: Yusuf, why you do this? You know really well I'm not about to tell nobody where to find me because even if you found me, it's not going to do you no good. [01:12:35] Speaker A: Because you don't post nothing. [01:12:38] Speaker B: Find me on this podcast. Come back next time, all right? [01:12:41] Speaker A: And you can find me with whatever pops up wherever it is up here. Until the next time, y' all, It's Yusuf in the building with Veronda. And we're out. Peace. [01:12:52] Speaker B: Thank you for listening to another episode of Relationship Status. Remember, you can catch us on relationship status, podcast.com, iTunes, Google Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Spotify, Pandora, Amazon music. Nobody grinds like us. And anywhere you listen to your favorite podcasts, if you would like to join the conversation or leave us a dear neek, email us at relstatpodcastmail.com or call us at 843-310-8637. Follow us on Facebook at Relationship Status Podcast on Instagram and Twitter e L S Tat podcast. And don't forget to comment. Share 5 star rate. Subscribe and review.