January 08, 2024


230th Date: The Grass Was Not Green, It Was a Dirt Road w/ Dijonay Jones & Johnny Dang

Hosted by

Yusuf In The Building C.L. Butler Nique Crews
230th Date: The Grass Was Not Green, It Was a Dirt Road w/ Dijonay Jones & Johnny Dang
Relationship Status Podcast
230th Date: The Grass Was Not Green, It Was a Dirt Road w/ Dijonay Jones & Johnny Dang

Jan 08 2024 | 00:57:44


Show Notes

Hosts: C.L. Nique, & Yusuf 


On today's episode of The Relationship Status Podcast, the crew is joined by Social Media Influencer, Johnny Dang and Dijonay Jones of the "It's Dijonay Podcast." They get into the intricacies of emotional communication and the challenges that come with relationships. The team starts out by discussing Dijonay's Podcast (10:04).

The crew then explores effective conflict resolution strategies, drawing from experiences and professional advice. The conversation delves into the power dynamics of arguments, offering a unique perspective on the need for mutual understanding and communication(19:10).

The discussion takes an unexpected turn when the team introduces a novel conflict resolution technique involving timers. The hosts discuss the benefits of active listening and how this method can facilitate more effective communication during heated moments(39:00).

The crew then shares personal experiences of seeking space within relationships, highlighting the impact of childhood experiences on adult communication patterns. The conversation becomes more intense as they touch upon the sensitive topic of infidelity, examining its consequences and potential paths to recovery(46:10).

The team closes out the show by tackling the societal expectations surrounding emotional expression, particularly focusing on the perceived limitations for men. The discussion challenges stereotypes and encourages a more open dialogue about emotions in relationships(57:40).

Tune in to this emotionally charged episode for a rollercoaster of insights, relatable stories, and practical advice on navigating the emotional waters of relationships.

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Episode Transcript

[00:00:08] Speaker A: Welcome back to relationship status. Isha girl, Nick Cruz and your boy hoy. [00:00:11] Speaker B: Youssef in the building. And remember, you can find us on all podcast platforms. Remember to, like share, follow, and five star rate. And if you want to join the conversation, email us relstat [email protected] you can also find the show on relationshipstatuspodcast.com. Neek. [00:00:28] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:00:29] Speaker B: Happy New Year. [00:00:31] Speaker A: Told me that last time. [00:00:33] Speaker B: I didn't tell you that last time. [00:00:34] Speaker A: Yes, you did. [00:00:35] Speaker B: No, I didn't. [00:00:35] Speaker A: I promise you, you did. [00:00:36] Speaker B: No, we recorded before the new year, and I told you happy New Year at the end of. But now we're in the new year. Technically the new year. The last time we spoke, it was. Technically wasn't. [00:00:48] Speaker A: How Cl. [00:00:49] Speaker B: I just got off the phone with him. [00:00:51] Speaker A: I see y'all, like, excuse me, out of the room. [00:00:53] Speaker B: Yeah, he is Cl. That's how he is. He is Cl. No, he's doing good. He's doing good. He's enjoying life. You know how you do. [00:01:00] Speaker A: You know how he's circling the world. [00:01:03] Speaker B: Circling the world. No, but he's back. He'll be on the next episode. [00:01:06] Speaker C: Okay, cool. [00:01:07] Speaker B: He'll be back in the building. I might be out of the building, but he'll be back in the building. [00:01:11] Speaker C: Why? [00:01:12] Speaker A: Well, how you been? [00:01:13] Speaker B: I've been good. We did discuss my birthday. Because we did discuss my birthday. [00:01:21] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:01:24] Speaker B: And then New Year's, I was slinging fireworks, was on the road when it hit twelve. And then today took the fireworks back that we didn't sell and found out how much money I didn't make. And now I'm here with these lovely ladies in the building that we have guests. We have. [00:01:50] Speaker A: Interesting bunch. [00:01:52] Speaker B: Interesting bunch. Yes. First we have Miss Johnny Dang. What's going on? Ma'am. [00:01:57] Speaker D: Hello. [00:01:59] Speaker A: That throws me off. [00:02:03] Speaker B: You said it throws you off. [00:02:04] Speaker C: Yes. [00:02:05] Speaker B: Why? [00:02:08] Speaker C: I was like, who? [00:02:10] Speaker A: That? [00:02:12] Speaker B: She hasn't changed her name yet. How long before we got a name change? [00:02:15] Speaker D: I think February eigth. [00:02:17] Speaker C: February. [00:02:17] Speaker B: February eigth. [00:02:18] Speaker D: February eigth. [00:02:20] Speaker B: What are we thinking on the change? [00:02:21] Speaker C: We get an exclusive. [00:02:22] Speaker D: You all get an exclusive. [00:02:24] Speaker A: Okay. [00:02:24] Speaker B: We won't get an exclusive. We just got to see it like the rest of the world. [00:02:27] Speaker C: No. [00:02:27] Speaker D: I'll let you all know. [00:02:29] Speaker B: Okay. [00:02:29] Speaker D: Do it again. [00:02:29] Speaker B: You're going to let it know? [00:02:31] Speaker D: I'll give you a hint. [00:02:33] Speaker B: Throw out some names that you're kind of thinking about. Throw some out that you think. Comedians. [00:02:39] Speaker D: Comedians. [00:02:40] Speaker B: Okay. Okay. [00:02:42] Speaker A: Old or new. [00:02:45] Speaker D: He'S been here a while. [00:02:47] Speaker B: Okay. I can't wait. Because all I'm going to do is drop some laughing emojis, right? Just like I did when the Eagles lost. [00:02:58] Speaker C: Party over. [00:03:01] Speaker A: Yeah, you about to end the whole podcast. Go ahead and wrap it up. Get the wires going. [00:03:10] Speaker B: I can't believe this. I would have much rather they won in a cowboys loss. [00:03:14] Speaker D: But like a mad parent. Yeah, like a mad parent. Like, I invited my whole family to see my kid lose, like zero to. [00:03:22] Speaker C: And we're like, this is what you do, right? [00:03:23] Speaker A: Disappoint me like this. [00:03:24] Speaker D: Embarrassing. [00:03:25] Speaker B: Yeah, it was a little outrageous. [00:03:28] Speaker A: Yeah. And y'all were doing good. Y'all were doing really good. [00:03:31] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:03:33] Speaker B: And this next person here, she has a new podcast. She thinks she has about six episodes so far. First episode hit. She has one of the most interesting podcasts. Very interesting cast of characters that always come through. It's her podcast, but she always has guests who come through. She's had OG Bobby Jay with the ink Shay, Janae from the cane is able podcast. Darla. Darla vintage cream, aka vintage cream. Check out her only fans. Who else? And then you had some ladies from episode that came out today. [00:04:38] Speaker C: Yeah, some Facebook friends. Naya Simmons and Shaquayla D. Smith. [00:04:42] Speaker B: Yeah. So she brings them in. She brings them in. [00:04:46] Speaker A: She did not remember me when she came in the door. [00:04:48] Speaker C: It's like I saw your face somewhere, but I didn't want to say the wrong name. Okay, she'll say it. [00:04:55] Speaker A: I said, yeah, I produced your first show. She said, you did. [00:05:00] Speaker C: You said produce. Yeah, watch, see, no, see, I wasn't hearing. [00:05:05] Speaker B: Thank you. But, Ms. DJ, so what got you into podcasting? What made you want to? [00:05:12] Speaker C: Well, actually, I'm the wild child in my family, so I love, like when we have Thanksgiving gatherings, like anything, I'm the life of the party and I talk about everything, even in front of my parents, so they know how I'm coming. So I was like, look, everybody always say you need a show, a YouTube or something, because you're just too funny. So I was like, you know what? I was thinking podcast. Because I love to talk. I don't like to debate. I ain't with that, but I love to talk about whatever. So I was like, you know, I'm going to try me a podcast. And it took me a minute because I was scared. I was thinking podcast is only a visual. So I had to be recorded on camera, done up every day until I realized when I came here, if I'm not mistaken, Kane was like, no, you can just have audio. So I said, I'm going to try it. Got the little money up. It was a go. [00:05:59] Speaker B: And it's been going so far. [00:06:00] Speaker D: Yeah, it's fun. [00:06:01] Speaker B: It's fun. [00:06:02] Speaker C: I get peace when I come here. [00:06:03] Speaker B: Some people say podcasting is therapeutic. [00:06:05] Speaker C: Yeah, it really is. I get to say what I want, because normally when I say stuff that you're not listening, but you can't have no choice but to hear me here. [00:06:13] Speaker A: Hello? She found her voice. [00:06:16] Speaker D: I got my voice now, DJ. [00:06:17] Speaker B: Say what? She won't until she send me those edits. And it'd be like ten things. Take out this, take out this. Take out this, take out this. [00:06:26] Speaker C: Because we'd be in the middle of drinking. Once you drink, you don't care what you say. I have to wait, hold on. I don't want to go back there and have to fight. Take that part out. Take that out. [00:06:39] Speaker B: All right, Djanae, we're not going to divulge your real name. Okay, but why that name? Why did you name the podcast? [00:06:50] Speaker C: Okay, so it actually started out as, like, a little joke. I had got some blonde hair in my hair. So y'all know Djane Jones from proud family. She's a little ghetto and dark skinned, and that's me. So my friend was like, you look like DJ with their hair in. So I just made my name there on Facebook, and I'm talking about. I'm in the grocery store. Hey, Djanae, who are they talking to you, Djanae? I'm like, okay, so when I did my podcast, I couldn't come up with no name. So, like, why not? It's Djane Jones. So everybody calls me DJ. My mama sometimes slip up and say, djanae, like, wait, mom, hold on. So that's how I came up with that Facebook. [00:07:30] Speaker B: Okay, so tell the people, what is your show about? [00:07:34] Speaker C: Well, my show was initially based off of sex talk because I am a freak. [00:07:40] Speaker A: So you talk sex with Sue? [00:07:44] Speaker C: I love to talk sex. And so it's mostly sex talk. But then I went to like, wait, they want to hear more stuff like my messiness, my friend's messiness, family mess. So I was like, you know, I'm just add it all in. So it's messy. Messy, messy and sexual, basically. It's a mess. [00:08:04] Speaker B: Yeah, she got a couple of segments on there. She's got. What is it? The messy moment. We get messy and then between the sheets. [00:08:13] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, it gets wild. [00:08:15] Speaker C: But that messy moment from the other day caught me off guard. And let me tell you about that messy moment. That was my makeup artist, who she was talking about, oh, wow. I had to book her because somebody want me to be their model for their hair class. So I was like, okay, I'm going to just book her. I hit her up like I normally do. That girl left me on red, y'all. I didn't know that the girl came here to talk about her. Yes, she saw me, tagged out their names and that's what messed it up. [00:08:50] Speaker B: And that's what messed up your makeup artist. [00:08:51] Speaker A: Wow. But maybe you should have the makeup artist to come and tell her. [00:08:57] Speaker C: I thought about that. I was going to ask her if she texted me back. [00:09:00] Speaker B: No, I just shoot it and say, hey, I want to invite you to talk about. To talk about what life as a makeup artist is. [00:09:04] Speaker C: Okay. Yeah. [00:09:05] Speaker A: And let her know you're just realizing who she. Yeah. [00:09:10] Speaker B: I think sometimes you just got to address things with people after you figure after you find out. And I would just tell her, I didn't know that there was any kind of anything, but I'm not in the middle of anything. I just would like for you to come on the show until she came. [00:09:23] Speaker C: In saying, oh, I beat up your makeup artist. Okay, if she's going to listen. I didn't know. [00:09:33] Speaker A: Well, at least you know she listens, right? [00:09:36] Speaker B: Well, that part, yeah, she listens. And then you recently are back in your relate. We usually ask what's your relationship status? But according to your facebook, you're very public about your relationship status. [00:09:51] Speaker C: Yeah, he's back. I left. I'm back. [00:09:56] Speaker B: So you spun the block? [00:09:58] Speaker C: I spent block. [00:10:02] Speaker B: Why'd you leave in the first place? [00:10:04] Speaker C: Okay, so we were together for twelve years. I'm going to say too much, but we were together for twelve years. I was unfaithful for a while and it was like I was in the relationship. I was get caught. And it was to the point where I don't care if you see it because you know what I'm doing. So I used to get caught, he would stay anyway. It started getting boring in the relationship. We will sleep together, won't touch each other, won't talk. If we talk, we're screaming at each other. He could just ask me what you're cooking, I'm going to curse him out. It got to the point where I knew he wasn't going to leave. He was comfortable because it's me. We've been together for so long. That was his real, actual girlfriend. So I knew he would never leave. So it took me to get some guts to just go. But my fear was if I leave, I'm a struggle. So that's why I stuck around, because he's very stable. He made sure we were stable. So I was scared, but I was like, you know what? I got my job. I stayed stable and I left. And it was great. But these men, like, okay, they're not worth nothing. So my plan wasn't to come back. I wanted everybody to know. I didn't say, I'm going to leave for a while and come back. No, I was done. But we were still conversating and stuff. We got a child. So it's just like I was missing him a lot. I was missing him. And then I was comparing too. They're not doing what he would do. If I'm down, I can't really call on you all like that. So me and him talked and talked and I miss him. He missed me. So we said, can we make it work? We didn't do a title just yet. So we're back together now. [00:11:45] Speaker A: Okay. [00:11:46] Speaker C: But I left because it was just boring. Why did you arguing? Because I was bored. [00:11:52] Speaker A: What makes this time different than the last time? [00:11:54] Speaker C: And look, okay, so it was boring because for one, I'm all about communicating and instead of us, I get real mad when I'm telling you something. I can say a whole paragraph and you only pinpoint one thing that I say. It's annoying. I think all men, men do. Most men are like that. [00:12:10] Speaker B: Excuse me. [00:12:11] Speaker C: And it's aggravating you do that. So I would never text a paragraph to a man. [00:12:16] Speaker B: But don't text no paragraph to me. You got three lines and you still want to answer. [00:12:21] Speaker A: He's still going to answer one. [00:12:24] Speaker B: I'm not reading past four. I'm not reading past four lines. [00:12:27] Speaker C: But why not? [00:12:30] Speaker B: No, it means call me. [00:12:32] Speaker A: Even in calling he's going to say. [00:12:35] Speaker B: Because when I text you back, I'm going to text you, just call me. [00:12:38] Speaker C: Okay. [00:12:39] Speaker B: Now, every now and then I might go to six and seven. But if I wake up and it's a book. If I wake, it's a book. [00:12:44] Speaker C: Now, if it's a book I want to read because I want to see what you got to say. [00:12:47] Speaker B: No, I'll call you. [00:12:50] Speaker C: Really? [00:12:51] Speaker A: I'm going to read. [00:12:54] Speaker C: What if I see that long text. [00:12:59] Speaker D: I'm going to take me a little brief synopsis. [00:13:01] Speaker C: He said, no, I got to read. [00:13:03] Speaker A: In detail because when I read you back for Phil, I might go back, take notes. [00:13:11] Speaker B: And that's exactly why we don't text. [00:13:14] Speaker D: You got it. [00:13:15] Speaker C: But with him it's like to me, he understands more when I text it. He can express himself better through text than in my face. [00:13:24] Speaker B: No, because you probably be about to beat him up. [00:13:26] Speaker C: And I do have that problem. But not so much. [00:13:30] Speaker D: Not so much. [00:13:31] Speaker C: But he'd be afraid where I have to, like view, look. But no, I'm better. But now you said, what made it better now. So we talked it out. And I do see some things that he did change because, like I say, we were separated for not together because we ain't married for a year, full year. So I do see some changes. I wanted the communication to change and to comprehend what I'm saying, too, because he only comprehended and to grow up a little. I do see the growth, so it's better. He's not a cheater. He's very loyal. So I didn't have to worry about that part. But the other thing that happened when I had to beat girl up. Yeah, he ain't cheated. I was just mad that she was there. But yeah, he's a good man. You beat somebody, beat her up. I can't say who. [00:14:19] Speaker A: Well, I wouldn't say who. But why? [00:14:22] Speaker C: Okay. Yeah. And I have different feedback from people saying, yeah, you was wrong, or no girl, you went wrong. So we were separated, of course, but we got back talking about making it work. That same day, he was sending hearts, I love you, I love you. We're talking. So next thing I know, I'm at work, I'm going on break. So I text him. He worked night shift, so he was home. He didn't respond back. So I'm thinking he's sleep, mind you, my child is there, so I can just go there. He stays five minutes from my job. I pulled up, I see an impala in the yard, pink steering wheel. So you all know what that means. A girl. So still didn't think anything other because he stays with his mom now. So his nephew also stays there. So I'm thinking this for the nephew. Walk in the house, nobody downstairs. His mama's room is downstairs. And she see me and starts stuttering, he's not here. I'm like, his car outside. And she's like, is his niece car outside? His niece don't got no car. I run upstairs, my son was like, oh, my God, he's seen a ghost. So I'm like, why is everybody being so weird? [00:15:24] Speaker A: Even your son was in on it. [00:15:26] Speaker C: Yeah, he was there. He knew, but he couldn't say anything because we wasn't together. So I turn and walk in the room. The girl is laid on the bed. She's on her back playing a handheld gang like a child. He's laying beside her. So it went crazy. I just started beating. [00:15:45] Speaker A: So many ways. Okay, so we all together. [00:15:49] Speaker C: We didn't have a title. [00:15:51] Speaker A: You all were just working on things. Yeah, but you all weren't together. [00:15:53] Speaker C: Yeah, but let me tell you, I dropped everybody instantly once. [00:15:56] Speaker A: That has nothing to do with him. Was that a conversation had? [00:16:00] Speaker C: No. [00:16:00] Speaker A: I mean, because I understand you're upset, because I would have beat listen him up. Not so much as her. [00:16:06] Speaker C: I did him and her. I didn't even finish the whole story, y'all. [00:16:09] Speaker A: Oh, wow. [00:16:09] Speaker C: I'm sorry, but I did them both. [00:16:12] Speaker B: Well, let me put like this. If you want to hear the full story, check out. Check out the teaching a podcast two weeks ago episode. [00:16:19] Speaker C: What is it called? Beat a b up. [00:16:20] Speaker B: B to b up. That's the name of the episode. Be to be up. Listen. Fully entertaining. [00:16:26] Speaker C: Yeah, 100% entertaining. [00:16:30] Speaker B: Go tune into. [00:16:31] Speaker A: Because I'm behind. But I will definitely. [00:16:35] Speaker B: Don't nobody tell a story like DJ. [00:16:37] Speaker A: You have not. [00:16:38] Speaker B: Very descriptive. Very descriptive. [00:16:42] Speaker C: Because it's like, while I'm talking, I'm seeing it. I hope I don't get mad again, because we just argued last night about it. [00:16:48] Speaker A: Have you thought about going to couples? [00:16:51] Speaker C: And. Look, I go to counseling now, and I tell my counselor about me and him. She wants him to come this week. Yeah, I think that would be good, because he's a great man. I ain't. Don't get me wrong. And I won't find anybody like him. And I know this. It was just that. And I never walked in on a man with another woman, so I didn't know how to take it. [00:17:09] Speaker A: But you know what's so crazy? Is that you cheated on him for all these years and now walk in on him, and he's not even cheating. [00:17:16] Speaker B: And then to find out he wasn't even cheating. [00:17:17] Speaker C: Yeah. And that hurt my heart. And all I could think about is, now I know how he feel all those years. [00:17:23] Speaker A: And that's why you jumped on him, because it gave you the feeling that you gave him. You didn't like it. Look at that. Breakthrough. [00:17:30] Speaker C: Look at that. Sometimes you need an eye opener. And that hurt my heart. I was like, dang. Every day I'm like, dang. That's how he felt. And that's not a good feeling, because every day I could be driving, and I just randomly go back to me seeing her laying in his bed. [00:17:47] Speaker B: That thing stick with you? [00:17:48] Speaker C: It will. [00:17:50] Speaker B: So what is it that. What do you think is the criteria. We're talking about spinning the block. Spinning the block is when somebody. What is it when you used to be romantically interested with someone and then things end, but that person comes back again into your life after they have already shot their shot or been with you for the first time, so now they're back. It's a second chance. What is the criteria, Johnny? We start with you, Johnny. What is the criteria for someone getting a second chance? [00:18:22] Speaker D: Do I really need to have an opinion on this one? [00:18:24] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:18:25] Speaker B: No. You don't think. You don't believe in second chances? So you've never spun the block? [00:18:33] Speaker D: No. [00:18:34] Speaker B: And you've never allowed anybody to spin the block? [00:18:36] Speaker C: No. [00:18:36] Speaker B: Why not? [00:18:38] Speaker D: That's it. I know if I walked away, I fought with everything in me to keep it together. So if I got to tell you by that means for my peace of. [00:18:51] Speaker C: Mind. [00:18:53] Speaker D: And that means you got to go, they got to come first. That means I fought hard for real. That's why I don't that mean I fought hard, and it just wasn't getting respected. [00:19:02] Speaker C: So I had to bounce. I got to agree. [00:19:06] Speaker A: If I had to leave, that means I had to ask God. [00:19:09] Speaker D: I had to be like, God, please let me go. This person, like, I got to go. [00:19:13] Speaker A: I can't go again. [00:19:14] Speaker D: So that spend the block means, no, I'm gone. [00:19:17] Speaker B: But what if it's something that is not an egregious infraction? I think when people think about spending the block, the first thing they go to is cheating. I'm just saying that's the first thing people go to. So what if it's just like, at this particular time? I've always said this about my ex wife. This is the one statement, the one true statement I've ever said about my ex wife. I've said a lot of them, but one of the highest one, we were together at the wrong time in our lives. Maybe if we would have met later in life, maybe if we would have met at some point. I don't see it. [00:19:54] Speaker A: I don't believe in that, though. I believe sometimes two people end up together that don't belong together. [00:20:00] Speaker B: But I think sometimes where you are in life, too, plays a factor in your ability. We weren't mature enough to be married, okay? And that's what I mean. The wrong time in our lives. Neither one of us was mature enough to deal with being married and what being married meant. Because to her, being married meant one thing. To me, marriage was something else, because I didn't know anybody who was married in my family, I didn't come up in it. So I'm acting by either, a, what I see on tv, or b, how I feel, right? And she was acting off of the many different women in her life and how they treated their husbands, and that's how she was treating me. And I was like, this ain't it. So I just think we both were immature, too. Immature, because age does not determine maturity. Because we were in our late 20s, but we just weren't mature enough to get that to do, to be well together. So I'm saying in that sense now, I don't see getting back with her. [00:21:09] Speaker A: Well. [00:21:12] Speaker B: Let'S say if our terms were different of our divorce, I could see a world where we would work together and her coming back because nobody cheated. There wasn't no money issue. We just weren't compatible. We weren't good in that moment in time together. [00:21:34] Speaker A: But this is how I look at it. The reason it had the outcome, the way the outcome, not just your divorcing, but just everything that led up to the divorce. I think it was because of your age and the maturity at that time. But even in today's age, you where you're at and she's where she's at. It may be different, but I think it would still have the same outcome because I'm still. Well, it just would have ended up differently. [00:22:02] Speaker B: Yeah, or maybe not, but we don't know. The thing I say about second chances is and the reason why I think that we sometimes do have to at least give it a thought. And we can't just close the door now. If somebody just treated you like dirt, it was abuse. When I'm saying second chances are spinning the block, I'm not even talking about those situations. [00:22:21] Speaker A: I'm not talking about now you're trying to come back. [00:22:26] Speaker B: That's what I'm saying. [00:22:26] Speaker A: Those things mostly the times when I'm giving you these chances, like the situations and most situationships are when somebody cares and the other person really doesn't. We're kind of feeding into, and usually it's a woman, we're feeding into a man that is kind of giving us little bit. Little breadcrumbs. Like, he gives us a lot of attention at one moment and then he kind of disappears. [00:22:49] Speaker D: Right? [00:22:50] Speaker A: And it's like we're feeding off of the maybe and he's able to spin the block, spin a block, spin a block, come back when he wants to. I think sometimes when situations like that come because I ain't going to lie, I don't let a few girls spin a block. A lot of times they probably should have just went to hell, but I think, like, it kind of goes into that hope. Hope goes into that. Oh, yes. Maybe this time is going to be different. This time is going to be different. This time is going to be different. And every time we think it's going to be different and they give us that little bit more of maturity, that little bit more of, they're going to be better. Like you said, communication got better. Like, oh, he's communicating with me better. Like, okay, all right. He's taking me places. Oh, okay, all right. Every time something changes to make you go back. Yeah, them second chances. [00:23:57] Speaker D: To hell with them second chances. [00:23:58] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:59] Speaker B: Okay, so in your case, you were the one spitting. [00:24:03] Speaker C: I was going to spend a lot. [00:24:04] Speaker B: Okay, so what did you do, per se, to prove that this time was going to be different? Because you had to prove to him that this time is different. [00:24:11] Speaker C: Well, he really didn't ask me to prove anything. I hit him up like, well, we've been kind of talking about it, and he was like, I have been missing you, too. Well, he did say, am I going to be different? Not cheating this time? And I let him know that I don't want nobody else. I did that. It's boring. The grass was not green, it was a dirt road. And he does see the difference as far as my phone, when I used to be around him, my phone is like upside down. Or when I'm on it and he's around, it's kind of like sideways. So he does see that change and he can get my phone. Now. [00:24:51] Speaker B: Is that a big deal? [00:24:52] Speaker C: I think so. [00:24:54] Speaker B: No, I was just saying I'll go around the room. Johnny, can yemen answer your phone? [00:25:01] Speaker D: Yes, he can answer my phone. [00:25:04] Speaker B: I mean, plain and simple. What if you can't answer his phone? Can he still answer your phone? [00:25:07] Speaker D: Don't touch my phone. [00:25:08] Speaker C: Exactly. No, you can still touch my phone. [00:25:12] Speaker A: If I can't touch your phone. Oh, baby, here. Please answer. [00:25:17] Speaker C: Now. If I can't answer yours, you're not answering mine. I want you to think why. [00:25:20] Speaker D: No, I want you to. [00:25:23] Speaker B: But if it's about you saying that you trust this person enough to answer, to allow them to answer your phone, what does it matter if you can answer their phone or not? [00:25:31] Speaker D: I feel like we need to be matching. [00:25:32] Speaker C: Trust that? Yeah. [00:25:33] Speaker D: I mean, I trust you way too much, and maybe I shouldn't. So what is it about me that you don't trust? [00:25:40] Speaker B: What is it about you that I don't trust. [00:25:44] Speaker D: Because what if I'm so willing to do that with you? Why aren't you? I mean, it's not like I'm just. [00:25:49] Speaker C: Going to be saying every day just going, right. [00:25:51] Speaker B: But what if it's force of habit. [00:25:55] Speaker D: Internal? [00:25:55] Speaker B: No, let's say not answering the phone, but something. I remember when my wife's behavior changed. Her behavior changed. She used to never care where her phone was ever. It'll be in the kitchen and she'd be in the bedroom, it'd be in her car and wouldn't even. By the time we was in the last two months, three months of our marriage, she was sleeping with the phone under her pillow. [00:26:20] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, that's a big one. I had a friend say that his wife started doing that. [00:26:26] Speaker B: But if the person coming in, a lot of times, let's say I'm on a date or something like that, I like to keep my phone face down because I think it's distracting. That's just me. If I'm here, I want to be here. I don't want to be someplace else. [00:26:45] Speaker D: Somebody reading that deep, I feel like if you own a date with somebody looking at where their phone is, honey. [00:26:52] Speaker B: Some people do do that. They notice whether what you do with your. [00:26:55] Speaker A: And it does depend on if your phone's constantly lighting up. Constantly lighting up. [00:26:59] Speaker C: I'm going to look like. [00:27:00] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm going to look like, damn, what kind of action you get. [00:27:03] Speaker B: But for me, in the different things I'm in, my phone is always going off. Like I literally have to put it on sleep mode when I get home. 839 o'clock or I will never have no peace. [00:27:13] Speaker A: But if that's the case, why not go on, do not disturb during that hour? [00:27:19] Speaker B: Yeah, because there's a number of reasons. One, I have kids. [00:27:24] Speaker A: Well, you can always put your kids in favorite. [00:27:27] Speaker B: But what if it's somebody else? If I'm not with my kids, I. [00:27:29] Speaker A: Think of that too. [00:27:31] Speaker B: Let's say something happened and somebody else has to get to me. That's not my kid or my kids. My kids come through. My kids moms come through. But what if it's somebody else? Something happened to them like at the hospital and they can't get to me. I need to be able to for that to happen. But like I said, my stuff goes into like if I'm home by my kids are gone, I don't worry about it being in sleep mode and like that, I just won't answer it. But if they're in the house, we on sleep mode and then only the people on my list can get through. Other than that, I'm on sleep mode now. [00:28:16] Speaker A: I'd be scared. [00:28:17] Speaker D: I have my piece, but mainly because I got the mainly important people right. [00:28:23] Speaker C: I just do silence. But as far as not being able for the calls to get through, that gives me anxiety. [00:28:30] Speaker B: No, do not disturb doesn't allow them through. Sleep mode allows, like the person that's calling, it'll ring but it won't alert you. And then when they're finished calling, it'll give you a little notification at the bottom of the screen. [00:28:42] Speaker A: It doesn't for me. We do not disturb too. [00:28:43] Speaker B: Oh, no, we do not disturb. I don't get nothing. [00:28:45] Speaker A: Yeah, I do. [00:28:46] Speaker C: I get all of my, I'd be. [00:28:48] Speaker A: Like, oh, I got a call. [00:28:49] Speaker B: I open it up and that's going to tell me all of. So, okay, no second chances for you, Johnny. [00:28:56] Speaker D: No, please leave me. [00:29:00] Speaker B: Okay, so let's say what are some potential risks because you're doing it because of, you don't want to go down that road anymore. [00:29:06] Speaker D: I don't want to go down that road anymore because I feel like I honestly will stick it out. And for me, even if I felt like he was the one that was about to walk away, you get what I'm saying? [00:29:17] Speaker C: If I got to fight for it, I'm going to fight for. [00:29:20] Speaker D: Boy, I'm not too proud of big. [00:29:21] Speaker C: Okay. [00:29:24] Speaker D: I'm not too proud of big. [00:29:26] Speaker C: So it's like if I had to. [00:29:27] Speaker D: Take to say no and like, bye. [00:29:30] Speaker C: You took all you had. [00:29:31] Speaker D: Yeah, like I used to. I can't drop the f bomb, right? [00:29:35] Speaker C: Boy, forget you. I like her thought process with that. Get you strong. [00:29:40] Speaker D: Yeah, I will hold on till I can't. [00:29:43] Speaker A: I agree. Yeah. [00:29:45] Speaker B: Okay. We're talking about give me a positive of giving somebody a second chance. [00:29:50] Speaker A: A positive. [00:29:54] Speaker B: What's some potential positives of giving somebody a second chance? [00:29:57] Speaker A: Change behavior. [00:29:59] Speaker D: Change behavior. [00:30:00] Speaker C: Because that's the only way I will give you a second chance is if I see some type of change. [00:30:05] Speaker A: Yeah. Because just like Johnny said a lot of times we are trying hard. We are fighting. [00:30:10] Speaker C: And that's like me, I tried hard for those twelve years. Like, I tried to try. That's why I stayed too. And I just couldn't take it no more. And I knew that if I didn't leave, we're just going to continue to be and eventually we're going to hate each other and something crazy could happen. So somebody has to remove their self. [00:30:28] Speaker B: That just happened to be you. [00:30:29] Speaker C: Yeah, that happened to be me. [00:30:30] Speaker B: So you learned from your past? [00:30:32] Speaker C: I learned a lot. I had so much time at home to think because since we was apart, my kids was not with me as much because we had to send them there for him. Go here, go to your grandma house. And I hated that, too. I don't like my kids to be apart, so I had a lot of time to think. So I learned myself. I even put myself in counseling because I know I needed help, too. So I feel like I'm changing. I'm not changed, but I'm changing. So when I can help him, if he's willing, he's willing to go to counseling, I do see some change, and that's a start. [00:31:03] Speaker A: They're not going to change overnight. [00:31:05] Speaker C: Right. So I feel like maybe, I don't know the future, but when I spent the block, it was for the good. [00:31:10] Speaker B: It was for the good. [00:31:11] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:31:11] Speaker B: See, people should give second chances. [00:31:14] Speaker C: Yeah, I agree. [00:31:15] Speaker A: People should give people second chances. Like I said, would change behavior. I don't think it's a negative thing to give somebody second chance, but I would definitely tell somebody, make sure when you're going back into that, that it's something like, it's something different. Right. You're not going back into the same routine, the same pattern, because you don't want to be hurt again. [00:31:40] Speaker C: Right. [00:31:40] Speaker B: Okay, so how do we. Let's say we don't break up. Let's say we're in a relationship, something happens, and we're given the second chance. Because I'm going to change it a little bit from spinning the block because Johnny says she don't give. [00:31:53] Speaker C: Don't spin the block. [00:31:54] Speaker B: Ain't no spinning, no block. You know how they say, what is it? Two wrongs don't make a right? And then they say, well, three rights make a left. At the end of the day, how can you rebuild trust in a relationship after something has happened? To be able to give that person that second chance before you break up. [00:32:16] Speaker C: Talk and give me your phone. [00:32:23] Speaker A: No, I would say definitely talk. Yeah, talk and listen. [00:32:31] Speaker B: Oh, you're good. Okay, you good? All right. So, Johnny, what do you think? Oh, she got the live going. Okay, you good? We good now. So what do you think it takes to rebuild the trust in the relationship after something has happened that may have about to cause the breakup? But you've said, I'm a fight for it. [00:33:02] Speaker D: Okay. [00:33:02] Speaker B: So I'm going to give him this second chance. [00:33:05] Speaker D: It's got to be change behavior and clear communication on boundaries for both of us, because we both can come with boundaries, too. But change behavior is, like, the number one thing I would love to see. Like, if you was acting out, even if it wasn't any cheating, you probably had a nasty attitude. [00:33:25] Speaker C: You could have been selfish. [00:33:27] Speaker D: You could have been emotionally abusive. You could have been mean. It could have been all those things. So it's like, unless I see changed behavior, I'm not coming home with you, asshole. [00:33:39] Speaker C: Okay. [00:33:39] Speaker D: I'm not coming home. Are you out here cutting up like you ain't here treating me crazy because. [00:33:44] Speaker C: You had a bad day, right? [00:33:45] Speaker D: You're not coming up in here with that. Not that vibe. Unless that's going to change. No, you got to be. We will have some peace, honey. [00:33:54] Speaker C: Right? [00:33:54] Speaker D: Some straightening. [00:33:55] Speaker C: For real. [00:33:56] Speaker B: So you said something interesting. Boundaries. And I was reading an article about second chances, and it said to effectively give somebody a second chance, you have to have clear, communicated boundaries. [00:34:07] Speaker D: Clear boundaries. [00:34:08] Speaker B: So what would be a boundary for you? That a person, this relationship. I want to give it a try. What would be a boundary? That they would have to. And we said already, behavior has to change. What else could be a boundary? [00:34:25] Speaker A: Communication. [00:34:26] Speaker B: Communication. [00:34:26] Speaker C: Communication. I'm big on communication. That's my issue right now. [00:34:30] Speaker B: That's the issue you have now? [00:34:32] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:34:32] Speaker B: He doesn't communicate. Wait, hold on. Let me ask you a question. Is it that he doesn't communicate, or is it that you over communicate? [00:34:42] Speaker C: I feel like maybe I'd be wishing I had somebody in between there to just watch us, because maybe I could think I'm right, but I'm not. But it's like I'm talking to him about how I feel, and I think I intimidate him because my voice gets loud, too. [00:34:58] Speaker A: Let me ask you a question. How does he listen to you? [00:35:02] Speaker C: And that. It's like he doesn't. He hears me, but he takes offense to whatever I say. He's like I'm attacking him and I'm not. [00:35:09] Speaker A: All right, so what it sounds like is you're talking and he's not listening to you. [00:35:14] Speaker C: That's what I've been telling him. [00:35:15] Speaker A: And then you get frustrated. [00:35:16] Speaker C: Frustrated. [00:35:17] Speaker A: And you get loud, and words start. [00:35:19] Speaker C: And I start blowing him names. Yeah. [00:35:22] Speaker A: And it gets disrespectful. [00:35:23] Speaker C: Yes. That's exactly us right there. [00:35:26] Speaker B: So your communication is bad? [00:35:28] Speaker A: No, it's not hers. She's trying. [00:35:32] Speaker C: I'm trying bad. [00:35:33] Speaker A: And his listening skills, his comprehension is not good. [00:35:37] Speaker B: I think it was year before last. We had an expert on guest. Jeez, the name escaped last year. Was it last year, white girl? No, the black dude from Canada. We're potting and we're messing up. But we had the guest on and he was talking about sometimes. [00:36:01] Speaker C: I just. [00:36:01] Speaker B: Watched him because he was like, sometimes the person is not hearing what we're saying. So when you're having this communication, he said, because he did this with me and me and Nick was having an argument on episode and it just so happened he was the guest that what I said, whatever. And he said, okay, nick, do not respond. Just tell me what you heard. [00:36:25] Speaker C: Okay. [00:36:25] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:36:26] Speaker B: And so he said, sometimes when you have an argument, sometimes you have to stop and ask the person, what did you hear me say? Because what they take in could be different than what you're saying. So that might be something that you might want to try. DJ is like the next time you all have it say, hold up, babe, what did you hear me just say? [00:36:45] Speaker C: Right? [00:36:45] Speaker B: And I'm not being facetious with you. I just want to know what did you get from what I just said? How did you take that? [00:36:52] Speaker C: And I have done that. I've tried it all. And he'll be like, I heard what you said. You said, blah, blah, blah. Okay, but do you get what I'm saying? And he doesn't. [00:37:02] Speaker A: Ask him, is he ready to have that conversation. Ask him, is he ready to hear you? Ask him, is he ready to listen? [00:37:09] Speaker D: Right? [00:37:10] Speaker A: Because if he's not, it doesn't matter. [00:37:11] Speaker C: What you say. [00:37:14] Speaker A: It'S not going to get no breakthrough. [00:37:17] Speaker C: And that's kind of how I feel. But we still going to work because we will talk sometimes about it, but then other times it'll get like you coming at me, you see, that's why I can't talk to you. Like, what did I just say wrong? Just telling you how I feel, what I want. But you blow up. [00:37:31] Speaker B: I'm going to tell you. We did our third episode ever, and we're on episode like 400. Our third episode ever. We did conflict resolution. And one of the things in this article, one of the strategies in the article was use a timer, okay? And so you take the timer, you put 15 minutes on, you can talk for 15 minutes. He can't say nothing. [00:37:55] Speaker C: Okay? [00:37:56] Speaker B: No response or nothing. He just has to listen. Then you stop and you put 15 minutes on or 15 seconds or however long you all want to agree to. And then he speaks for that time. And then when it's done, then you have the conversation afterwards. And the thought behind this process is we sometimes listen to respond rather than listening to listen. [00:38:20] Speaker D: Right? [00:38:21] Speaker B: So if you cannot interrupt me for a period of time. [00:38:25] Speaker C: Maybe you can hear. [00:38:26] Speaker B: Maybe you can actually hear what I'm saying. And not only that, but in return, sometimes in a debate, I like to call them debates. I don't like arguments in a debate we so staunch or so hard on. I got to get my point across. I got to get my point across. My favorite. You're not letting me talk. Yeah, I literally let you use the. You started this. That is a woman's most favorite line. You're not letting me talk. You literally spoke for 15 minutes. But I think that when you do that, you're allowing the space for him to get his communication out as much as he, however he can, comfortably. And you're able to get your point across without interruption. So I think that would work. [00:39:15] Speaker C: I'm going to try that tonight. Matter of fact, try it tonight and. [00:39:18] Speaker A: Let us know how it works. [00:39:19] Speaker C: I will. [00:39:20] Speaker A: Because the only thing that I fear, because even with you saying that when you talk to him, he kind of interrupts it. It sounds like he doesn't want to have the conversation. [00:39:28] Speaker C: Right. [00:39:29] Speaker A: So even if you give him that 15 minutes, he may be like, I ain't got nothing to say. And I'm speaking from experiencing somebody who's bad with communication is horrible. And you're trying to talk to them. [00:39:44] Speaker C: It's almost like you're talking to a child. And I have that happen. I'm like, you got the mind of a child. Yeah. I'm not your child, I swear. But I can honestly have the conversation with my kids and their feedback is way better. [00:39:57] Speaker B: Well, but I could almost guarantee the way you talk to your children is different than the way you talk to him. [00:40:04] Speaker C: Yeah, but they'd be round sometimes. Because sometimes stuff get crazy and they. [00:40:11] Speaker B: Okay, like, for me, because you said something earlier, you was like, sometimes when you're talking to him, your voice raises me. There's two things you can do that are going to shut me all the way down. Raise your voice or cuss at me. Don't shut me all the way down. We ain't even having no conversation. You're going to be annoyed because I'm no longer talking. Yeah, that's it. [00:40:31] Speaker C: Okay. I get that. [00:40:32] Speaker B: Because I'm like, if we going to have a debate, if we're going to have a disagreement or whatever it is, if you love me and I love you, right. We need to do this in a respectful manner. And the minute that you start using profane language, raising your voice, all of those things that we can't, that now is I'm done. We can't even talk. Somebody told me fu one day I was done. That was it. [00:41:08] Speaker A: You say that to me and I completely understand that. [00:41:12] Speaker C: But. [00:41:15] Speaker A: Talking to somebody, that is bad with communication, sometimes that frustrates you. [00:41:20] Speaker C: I'm telling you. [00:41:21] Speaker A: And it puts you in a space where it's like, yo, I am trying. [00:41:25] Speaker B: Okay, well, then how about this? How about this? If you are that frustrated that you need to take it to that point, maybe this needs to be what you do. You know what? I might need to go. [00:41:37] Speaker A: And that's what she did the first time. [00:41:38] Speaker B: No, not leave the relationship just in this moment. I need to go take a drive. I might need to go home and we could discuss this tomorrow. Let's hang up right now. If you're on the phone, twerk in. [00:41:50] Speaker D: The mirror, hype, you instantly. [00:41:56] Speaker C: Have you a good time. [00:41:58] Speaker B: Johnny, known for good times. She danced all day on her social media. But go ahead and remove yourself from this because if you're getting frustrated, it's. [00:42:12] Speaker C: Just going to turn into argument. [00:42:13] Speaker B: It's going to turn into something worse. And me, if I know I got you frustrated, I'm petty, I'm going to continue to make you more upset. Oh, this is what we're doing. Okay, so you're not going to answer. [00:42:26] Speaker A: Me, but I'm happy you're going to counseling. [00:42:28] Speaker C: Yeah. It's helping with a lot, and it. [00:42:31] Speaker A: Helps you communicate your feelings better, and it helps you figure out where you're not wrong. [00:42:39] Speaker C: And I know because I would sit back and be like, wait a minute, is it a way, because of the way I grew up. I grew up in a chaotic household. Like arguing, cussing, name calling every day fighting, really? So it's like now. And I hate when people say, your childhood ain't got anything to do with it. Does it plays a big part because I can sit here now and I can like a lot of incidents. I can still see, I can smell it. So when I'm arguing, or as a matter of fact, if a man raises what's at me, I instantly back up because you about to hit me now or so when I'm talking to you, you're not hearing me. I'm going to scream, I'm going to call you names. So I'm working on that because my mom and dad did that for years. [00:43:22] Speaker B: They still together though, right? [00:43:23] Speaker C: Yeah, they did a whole three. I don't want to call it 361 80. They're perfect now. Why? I can say perfect because nobody is. But they are the bomb. [00:43:33] Speaker B: So do they give you hope? Did their relationship give you hope for you and your. [00:43:38] Speaker C: And also when my mom, they eventually separated. He moved out, got him a trailer. She had her own. So that's why I thought me leaving. Maybe if I leave so I can breathe and see what I miss. Give me. And we was together. Twenty four seven. Oh, my God. I needed space. And when I asked him for space to go somewhere. Are you cheating? I can't be mad at him. [00:43:56] Speaker A: Because you were doing. [00:43:58] Speaker C: Yeah, I used to lie to him and say, I'm going to work a night shift job and I was not working. [00:44:03] Speaker A: Oh, you wiling? [00:44:05] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:44:07] Speaker A: I'm surprised you ain't on snap. [00:44:12] Speaker C: I did not care. But it was like cheaters. But it was almost like, what's the big deal? Why are you mad? Because I saw my parents and then I saw what they'll get back together or we'll just get back together. And then I was like, okay, maybe we just need a break. So let's just take a break. And that did heal my parents. It did heal. Now they don't buy houses. They don't did this, that. So I want to be like them. Just minus the fighting. [00:44:39] Speaker B: They still be fighting. No, you're talking about you. [00:44:43] Speaker C: Me? No, I didn't lay well that time. I lay hands on him, but not like how I normally. [00:44:48] Speaker A: And you lay hands on him. [00:44:49] Speaker B: Well, man, this didn't go anywhere I thought it was going to go. No second chances. [00:44:57] Speaker A: I do believe in. And the relationship I'm in was a second chance. You know that. That was a second chance. So I believe in second chances. [00:45:08] Speaker B: But you were saying that if you fought for it and you had to. [00:45:12] Speaker C: Walk away, then you wouldn't know second chance. [00:45:14] Speaker B: Then there's no second chance. [00:45:15] Speaker A: I walked away from that. [00:45:16] Speaker B: But what if. That's what I'm saying. But what if it's a situation? I just think that each thing is independent of its own. So to make a blanket. To make a blanket. I'm just not like Johnny did. [00:45:28] Speaker C: I'm just not right. [00:45:30] Speaker A: If it was cheating, if it went to where everybody else usually goes to, if it was cheating, can you come back from cheating? I don't think you can, but people do. [00:45:42] Speaker C: Look, as far as me, I can't. And why I say I can't because he didn't even cheat on me when I saw that girl. [00:45:47] Speaker A: And it keeps killing playing your head. [00:45:49] Speaker C: Over on my end. No, you cheat on me. That's it. Because let me tell you, if I stay with you, I'm going to cheat. I'm just saying. [00:46:00] Speaker A: Don't say that on you. [00:46:00] Speaker B: Either. If I cheat on you or you cheat on me, I'm out. [00:46:08] Speaker A: I think if it gets to the point where I want to cheat, I'm. [00:46:10] Speaker B: Just going to leave because really, I. [00:46:12] Speaker A: Just got to go. What's the point? [00:46:14] Speaker D: I don't want to cheat. Why am I here? [00:46:16] Speaker C: True. [00:46:17] Speaker D: Why am I here? [00:46:18] Speaker B: Because it could be just that I had a conversation with somebody today and I can't say where or whatever because some people do listen to it that are in this space. But she's married and she is unhappy in her marriage in many different diaspors of it. So recently, a couple of weeks ago, she ended up cheating on her husband, but she said she felt bad. But she still has conversations with the guy that she cheated with and she said she's not going to do it again. She said she had an itch and he had an itch that needed to be scratched. So they scratch each other's itch and that's it. [00:47:08] Speaker A: She didn't get out of that marriage. [00:47:10] Speaker B: But she's drastically unhappy. [00:47:14] Speaker D: She needs to leave. [00:47:15] Speaker A: Yeah, she needs to get out of there. [00:47:17] Speaker D: She's hurt. First off, why are you doing this, brother? [00:47:19] Speaker A: And she only feels bad not because it's going to hurt him. She feels bad because of how she's going to look if she gets caught. [00:47:27] Speaker D: And if she felt so bad, why is she continuing the behavior that started this in the first place? That part which started with a conversation had to be had. So again, ma'am, leave that man alone. Let him go. [00:47:42] Speaker C: Be great. [00:47:42] Speaker D: Leave him alone. Save him from you. But he needs to be saved from. [00:47:47] Speaker B: He needs to be saved. [00:47:49] Speaker A: I wouldn't even say be saved from her. She needs to save herself. [00:47:53] Speaker D: From herself. [00:47:53] Speaker C: Yeah, because, yeah, she got here wild. [00:47:56] Speaker D: She's wild. And before you said she cheated, I was going to be like, girl, go home. Ain't nothing out here. I was going to say, go back home. Ain't nothing out here. [00:48:05] Speaker C: Make it work. [00:48:06] Speaker D: Go to counseling. [00:48:07] Speaker B: Do you see a lot of that now? It used to be all my single ladies, and now it's like, hey, look, ain't nothing out here. If I got a good one, let me go home. [00:48:21] Speaker D: Leave your man or your husband, your wife or whatever's out here. [00:48:25] Speaker C: Go home. [00:48:26] Speaker D: Go home. There's nothing out here. [00:48:28] Speaker A: Go home, Roger. [00:48:29] Speaker D: Like, go home now. [00:48:30] Speaker B: Go home immediately. [00:48:33] Speaker D: There's nothing out here because the dating pool has. [00:48:40] Speaker A: No need putting your foot in there. [00:48:42] Speaker C: Go home. [00:48:43] Speaker D: Fight what you have for real, but. [00:48:45] Speaker A: Only fight if it's worth it. [00:48:46] Speaker D: If it's worth it, don't stay for abuse. Don't stay with serious cheating, all of that. [00:48:52] Speaker A: And if you know you're not going to be happy with that person for real, do not let your comfort keep you in. [00:48:58] Speaker D: But just because you see something over there that you like, tell big no, he might have this or she might have that. [00:49:06] Speaker C: Don't let it go. [00:49:07] Speaker D: For real. Go home. Take your ass home. [00:49:11] Speaker B: Well, just some real quick. Johnny is live right now. She got. Somebody made a comment that said not talk to him. Sis, we ain't talking about that one. Women mainly just want what they give. It's simple. You agree with that, tay? [00:49:31] Speaker D: Women want just what they give. [00:49:33] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:49:34] Speaker B: It's a lie. [00:49:35] Speaker A: No, it's not. If I'm giving you. [00:49:37] Speaker B: All women want the same thing. What is that from the book of Cl? From the great philosopher Cl. [00:49:45] Speaker A: Please. [00:49:45] Speaker B: All women want more. [00:49:49] Speaker A: And all men think they know what women want. [00:49:52] Speaker B: Nope. All women want more. [00:49:54] Speaker D: No. [00:49:54] Speaker B: Yes, it is whatever it is you want more of that man can't give you just one. I love you, you want more. He can't come and give you flowers one time. You want more. He can't take you to dinner once. You want more. [00:50:07] Speaker A: Okay, we can't just have sex with you one time. [00:50:10] Speaker D: You want more. [00:50:12] Speaker B: Listen, sex is a two way street. Both of you get enjoyment. [00:50:16] Speaker A: All women want the same thing. [00:50:19] Speaker C: All people. [00:50:19] Speaker A: That's a general. That is because if I give you small little gifts, if you're used to getting that from me, you're going to want more. You're going to be used to that. That's going to be a routine now from me. You're not going to want the same thing more and more and more from everybody. [00:50:33] Speaker C: Exactly. [00:50:34] Speaker D: No, it's just a human thing. [00:50:36] Speaker B: It's a female thing. [00:50:37] Speaker C: It's a human. [00:50:38] Speaker D: And people hate to admit that men and women do the same thing. [00:50:41] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:50:42] Speaker A: I don't know. We just do it different ways. [00:50:43] Speaker C: We just have different ways of doing it. But we do the exact same thing. [00:50:47] Speaker B: Whatever we do. [00:50:50] Speaker C: Yes, we do. [00:50:52] Speaker D: We do the exact same things. [00:50:54] Speaker B: That's what you all want. Us. [00:50:55] Speaker D: We're just more emotional. [00:50:57] Speaker A: Men are more emotional because they, like. I can't cry. [00:51:04] Speaker B: No. Because we can't cry. No. You all will judge women. No, women will judge. Women will judge a man. For I've never seen. Okay, what's the word I'm looking for? If it's like your friend died, your family member died, you understand that? You don't want this crying dude coming home every day crying by, no, don't. [00:51:31] Speaker C: Come home every day. [00:51:34] Speaker B: Or frequent crier. [00:51:36] Speaker C: You don't want a frequent crying woman either. What is wrong with you? Always. [00:51:43] Speaker B: It's more acceptable for a you. You would take that even though you would be honest with your friend. You would accept that from your friend because you're like, this is my emotional girlfriend. [00:51:55] Speaker A: Listen, if you ain't get like, what are you about to do? [00:51:57] Speaker C: Solution. [00:52:00] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:52:02] Speaker B: It is more acceptable for a woman to cry than it is for a man. [00:52:06] Speaker A: For who? For you? [00:52:07] Speaker B: For men, for society. For society. [00:52:12] Speaker A: Three women are sitting here telling you, no. [00:52:14] Speaker B: She says she gets me. [00:52:15] Speaker C: I do get it because I see it myself. [00:52:20] Speaker B: And especially for black men, we cannot show weakness. Too much crying is seen as weakness and we cannot show. [00:52:29] Speaker A: Get it out as far as with me, please cry. [00:52:32] Speaker C: I like to see that side. Yeah, don't act hard. Always. [00:52:39] Speaker A: Your homeboy. But I hate that men put that on women. Like, I'm not going to cry in. [00:52:44] Speaker C: Front of you because she's going to judge me. [00:52:46] Speaker A: Yeah, because she's going to judge me. I've never seen women judge men for crying. Like in an intimate. [00:52:52] Speaker D: It's always other men. [00:52:53] Speaker A: Yeah, it's always other men. Your friend told you you couldn't cry. Your daddy told you you couldn't. [00:52:58] Speaker D: And I guarantee you, when you were. [00:53:00] Speaker C: Crying on your mom when you were. [00:53:01] Speaker D: Little, a man told her, quit, baby. Who does it? [00:53:06] Speaker C: That's true. [00:53:08] Speaker A: Or your mom trying to raise a man. Stop crying. [00:53:12] Speaker B: My grandmother told me, what has crying fixed your emotions? What is it fixed? Because you feel away about whatever it is. All right? So now you have to come up with a solution. You're sitting there crying, let's get to the solution. And that's my thing is always, let's get to the solution. Now, I do understand. Like I said, death in the family. Something really emotionally happened to you. You're dealing with a bad breakup. Like, I spoke about it on the show a couple of weeks ago. I almost was an alcoholic when my last breakup. All right? And there were nights where I cried, but I'm not. [00:53:51] Speaker A: Because you weren't able to feel your feelings? [00:53:53] Speaker B: No, because I was by myself. If I was in front of anybody, I wasn't doing that. [00:53:57] Speaker A: But it would have to be in front of somebody you trusted, though. [00:54:01] Speaker B: No. Can you imagine me on the phone with Cl crying? [00:54:04] Speaker A: First of all, that's a man, though. [00:54:07] Speaker C: That's a man. [00:54:09] Speaker B: Or even my close female friend Tara, like, Tara's never seen me cry. Only time she see me cry was when my homeboy died. Only time known her for. Since 1992. [00:54:19] Speaker D: That's sad for you. [00:54:23] Speaker B: I'm in touch with my feelings. [00:54:24] Speaker D: Friends know they can cry. [00:54:26] Speaker A: I haven't seen a few men cry. [00:54:28] Speaker D: You all know. You all can cry. [00:54:31] Speaker B: Like I said, it's not acceptable. In society, it may be acceptable to you, but in the greater scheme of, in a greater sphere of the world, it is not acceptable. It's just not acceptable because it's seen as weakness. It's just like a whole bunch. Just like, there's things that men just societally can't do. They got to do it behind closed doors. [00:54:57] Speaker D: I get it. [00:54:58] Speaker B: The sexual stuff they can't do outdoors, they got to do it. What I'm saying is some things are still not acceptable, period. [00:55:13] Speaker A: Like what? [00:55:15] Speaker B: We got to go to DJNa show to talk about that stuff. [00:55:20] Speaker A: Maybe she'll invite us to be grab his pearls. Like, I know they didn't do that when I was gone. [00:55:27] Speaker B: I'm always on her show. So maybe she got to invite you over there. [00:55:30] Speaker C: Definitely. [00:55:31] Speaker B: Yeah, you too, John. Listen, it's an enjoyable time over there. [00:55:36] Speaker C: It is. [00:55:37] Speaker B: We having fun. [00:55:38] Speaker C: You can say whatever you want to say. [00:55:40] Speaker B: Yeah, you can say whatever you want to say here. We just know. F bombs. That's it. [00:55:43] Speaker D: I like them, though, too. [00:55:46] Speaker C: That's my favorite word. [00:55:47] Speaker D: I like them, lord. [00:55:50] Speaker A: Just like, oh, my favorite curse. [00:55:56] Speaker B: Well, Djanae, tell the people when they can hear your podcast and where they can find it. [00:56:02] Speaker C: Okay? You can find me each and every Monday on Apple podcasts, Pandora, and all other podcast platforms. You can also find me on Facebook at DJ Jones, also on TikTok at. It's Djna Jones. [00:56:17] Speaker B: Okay, Johnny, how could the people find you? The people that's not on live, how could they find you? [00:56:23] Speaker D: You can find me on Facebook at Johnny Jang. Okay, that's it. [00:56:28] Speaker C: That's all. [00:56:28] Speaker B: That's it. Neek's going to tell me. [00:56:31] Speaker A: Not that they can't find me. [00:56:33] Speaker B: All right, once again, y'all make sure, man, the likes, the comments, and the reviews is how we move up the charts. We appreciate you all. We are ranked in the top 100 podcast. So please, in the world. So please make sure that you continue to support give us those reviews. Until the next time, y'all, we're out. [00:56:53] Speaker C: Thank you for listening to another episode of relationship status. Remember, you can catch us on relationshipstatuspodcast.com, iTunes, Google podcasts, iHeartRadio, Spotify, Pandora, Amazon Music. Nobody grinds like us. And anywhere you listen to your favorite podcast. [00:57:11] Speaker A: If you would like to join the. [00:57:12] Speaker C: Conversation or leave us a dear Neek, email us at rel stat [email protected] or call us at 843-310-8637 follow us on Facebook at relationship status podcast on Instagram and Twitter at re lstat podcast. And don't forget to comment, share, five star rate, subscribe, and review.

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