139th Lunch Date: Divorce Him Sis!

[00:00:00] Speaker A: You a podcast that you're passionate about? Are you looking for a professional studio to help bring your vision to life? Then look no further than Crux Media Group studios. Located at nine Three West Evans Street in Florence, South Carolina, crux Media Group Studios is a full service podcast studio that offers recording, editing, consultation, live streaming, video recording, and more. We have state of the art equipment and a team of experienced professionals who can help you create a podcast that is professional, polished, and engaging. Whether you're a first time podcaster or a seasoned pro, crux Media Group Studios can help you take your podcast to the next level. Contact us today at 843-407-1673 to learn more about our services and to schedule a consultation. [00:01:04] Speaker B: Welcome to the relationship status, Podcast. It's your boy Yusuf in the building. And remember, you could catch us on all podcast platforms. Remember to like, share, follow, and five star rate. And if you want to join the conversation, email us. Reelstat [email protected]. Remember to follow us on all podcasts on all social media platforms. Reelstat Podcast, and you could catch everything you need on the website. Relrelationshipstatuspodcast.com. Damn, I'm about to mess that up. I'm back again. And here for another episode is Deja de Asia. I'm sorry, Deja. I said it right. I'm sorry. Lala and Jay, Sean of the Vibes on the Rise podcast. How y'all doing today? We're good. [00:01:51] Speaker C: How are you, baby? [00:01:52] Speaker B: Okay, people outside. You hear them sharing for you? They outside. They outside. [00:01:58] Speaker C: Real bad. [00:01:58] Speaker B: Real bad. I don't know how you're going to get out of here. You're going to need security. How are you doing today? [00:02:05] Speaker C: Good. [00:02:08] Speaker B: I woke up, so any day. [00:02:11] Speaker C: That's a blessing. [00:02:12] Speaker B: You write amen. Okay, you better stop for me. Everybody's good? We're going to go ahead and get right into it. Man. This letters a little bit. All right, so we got an advice letter. They say, hey, nique CL, and Yusuf, I really enjoy the show. Please keep it up. Recently, me and my boyfriend found out I was pregnant. About four months ago. Before we went to our last appointment, I found a note from another female in his stuff. He claims the note is old, but I found it in his pay stubs from a job he recently got hired at. So I said, I don't trust you, so in order to trust you again, I need to send me your location and let me go through your phone. I hate when people can't spell nothing grammatically. People be grammatically correct. He was steady going through mine and didn't find anything, so I don't think it's fair that I can't do that to him. When he goes out with his cousins and friends, he never tells me where he's going, so I would call him, and it's like he never wants to answer the phone. When I call him, everything he works, he would text me and tell me I have to stay till 04:00. A.m. And from the note I found, my sister told me I should do a pop up at his job, and I seriously thought about it. A couple of years ago, he made a shoe rack with nothing but Jordans. He has a PS Two, PS three, PS Four, and got a PS Five last year. The shoe rack has, like, three of his game systems in our bedroom. So out the bedroom was extremely crowded throughout the years. I begged him to take down the shoe rack, and he said no and that I should deal with it. Mind you, this is my apartment that we are living in. So I followed some advice my friends gave me and took it down myself. And I am 20 weeks pregnant, so it wasn't easy, but I got it done. So I cleaned out my daughter's closet and put the stupid shoes in her closet and made room in my bedroom so I can sleep more comfortable. So when he came home from football with his dad, brother and uncle, he came into the house and did nothing but cuss and yell at me for rearranging my bedroom. My daughter likes my bedroom, but when she asked him, he said no. What? I don't know. Okay? US women, we don't like our bedroom to be the same after a certain period of time, so we would rearrange it. When he came home, first thing he said was, how am I supposed to play my game? Don't touch my stuff. Now I have to go through my shoes and stuff. So I said I did it so I could feel better and sleep more comfortable, because I'm tired of sleeping on the couch and hurting my back, and plus, I'm getting bigger, so I need to be comfortable. And it's like all he cared about was his game and his shoes. And I said, it's not fair to me how I had to sleep in a crowded bedroom for two thirds of a year, and I made it to where we both got what we want. So he goes upstairs and plays a stupid game, and I'm downstairs washing dishes and still cleaning up the house. And I said to myself, my lease is up next month, and there's no pleasing him. What? I cook, clean, wash clothes, and I'm pretty much doing wifey things. What should I do? [00:05:35] Speaker C: Leave. Can I say something real quick? [00:05:39] Speaker B: She needs an English teacher. [00:05:44] Speaker C: But she said he has a PS two, PS three, PS four and PS five. Is that what she said? [00:05:49] Speaker B: That is exactly what she said. [00:05:51] Speaker C: First of all, why he got that many games? I get one or two. But why do you have Autumn Different. [00:05:58] Speaker B: When you literally could play all of them on the PS Five game? [00:06:02] Speaker C: Literally, it could be updated, clear graphics, all that. But you have a PS, two PS, three PS, four PS, five. Like, that's ridiculous. [00:06:08] Speaker D: All on a shoe. [00:06:09] Speaker C: He sounds like a weirdo I'm not saying that. [00:06:13] Speaker B: Don't judge. The shoe shelf. I got four shelves in my house in my room with shoes on it. [00:06:20] Speaker C: I get the shoe shelf. But you say she cleaned out her daughter closet to put his shoes in her daughter closet. [00:06:25] Speaker B: Yeah, maybe he because it was taking. [00:06:26] Speaker C: Up room the shoe shell first, ain't it? [00:06:31] Speaker B: Yeah, but why would you but what if she had room in the closet? [00:06:36] Speaker C: But why is your man stuff in her closet? First of all, he's not a man. He's a little boy. Because he's making her clean up that stuff. Being pregnant. First of all, she's pregnant. She's doing and then she says she had to sleep on the couch. I would have been sleeping in that bed. I get she said it was crowded, but it would have been enough space for one pregnant woman. And he would have been sleeping on the couch because why are you sleeping on the couch? Talking about your bed, your back hurts, and you're pregnant in your apartment. [00:07:01] Speaker B: In your apartment. Okay, you think he's a little boy. [00:07:05] Speaker C: Yeah, I don't like that. Like, she's pregnant. And then she said when she cleaned out the closet and put his stuff in her daughter's room, she was like, we both sacrificed stuff we love to make each other happy. He didn't sacrifice nothing. He had just sleep on the couch. [00:07:20] Speaker B: Well, she sacrificed her daughter's space, but he didn't no, I'm saying he didn't sacrifice anything. He's actually upset. [00:07:27] Speaker C: That's what I'm saying. He didn't sacrifice anything. She did. So what is she talking about? We both sacrificed stuff to make each other happy. He still got his shoes. He still got his game. You put your stuff in his daughter's room. You sacrificed your daughter's privacy, your daughter's space. What did he sacrifice? You could have threw them shoes out. You could have threw that game out, man. [00:07:45] Speaker B: That man would have went nuts. [00:07:46] Speaker C: It's her house. [00:07:47] Speaker B: He would have went crazy in that. [00:07:48] Speaker C: It's her apartment. She says it's her lease. I've never been pregnant, but I have heard, like, trying to sleep in pregnant on the couch is not I heard. [00:07:56] Speaker B: Trying to sleep pregnant is. [00:08:00] Speaker C: That makes it worse. Unless you got one of them expensive, comfortable couches that sink in as soon as you lay down. But the way she's talking, that's not comfortable. Some of her back hurting and all. [00:08:10] Speaker D: Let's talk about the note from the. [00:08:11] Speaker B: Girl, because I think that got lost in the whole thing. I thought that when I first initially read the letter, I was like, okay, that's where this is going. And then it went into shoes and places, and I was like, Wait, what about the note? [00:08:26] Speaker D: So from the what seems to me like he's cheating on you. He don't care about your well being. He doesn't care about what he's doing. He's lying to you about what you're doing or what he's doing? He's hiding everything. So if he's doing all this now while you're pregnant, what's he going to do with the baby pops out? [00:08:43] Speaker C: And when I'm friends with people, our relationships, I do have their location, but at the same time, I have their location. But if one location I got your look for an hour. If you chose not to share my location, your location with me because that made you feel uncomfortable, then you don't have to share your location. But it's the fact she said he goes out place. It doesn't tell her where she's going. You can at least tell me where you're going. I don't have to have your location, know your every move, but you can at least tell me where you're going. And then he just texts her and be like, I'm not going to be home to 04:00 a.m. Your girlfriend is pregnant, why are you not getting home till 04:00 A.m.? And you said it's for work, but you're not getting home till 04:00 a.m. [00:05:35] Speaker C: Leave. Can I say something real quick? [00:05:39] Speaker B: She needs an English teacher. [00:05:44] Speaker C: But she said he has a PS two, PS three, PS four and PS five. Is that what she said? [00:05:49] Speaker B: That is exactly what she said. [00:05:51] Speaker C: First of all, why he got that many games? I get one or two. But why do you have Autumn Different. [00:05:58] Speaker B: When you literally could play all of them on the PS Five game? [00:06:02] Speaker C: Literally, it could be updated, clear graphics, all that. But you have a PS, two PS, three PS, four PS, five. Like, that's ridiculous. [00:06:08] Speaker D: All on a shoe. [00:06:09] Speaker C: He sounds like a weirdo I'm not saying that. [00:06:13] Speaker B: Don't judge. The shoe shelf. I got four shelves in my house in my room with shoes on it. [00:06:20] Speaker C: I get the shoe shelf. But you say she cleaned out her daughter closet to put his shoes in her daughter closet. [00:06:25] Speaker B: Yeah, maybe he because it was taking. [00:06:26] Speaker C: Up room the shoe shell first, ain't it? [00:06:31] Speaker B: Yeah, but why would you but what if she had room in the closet? [00:06:36] Speaker C: But why is your man stuff in her closet? First of all, he's not a man. He's a little boy. Because he's making her clean up that stuff. Being pregnant. First of all, she's pregnant. She's doing and then she says she had to sleep on the couch. I would have been sleeping in that bed. I get she said it was crowded, but it would have been enough space for one pregnant woman. And he would have been sleeping on the couch because why are you sleeping on the couch? Talking about your bed, your back hurts, and you're pregnant in your apartment. [00:07:01] Speaker B: In your apartment. Okay, you think he's a little boy. [00:07:05] Speaker C: Yeah, I don't like that. Like, she's pregnant. And then she said when she cleaned out the closet and put his stuff in her daughter's room, she was like, we both sacrificed stuff we love to make each other happy. He didn't sacrifice nothing. He had just sleep on the couch. [00:07:20] Speaker B: Well, she sacrificed her daughter's space, but he didn't no, I'm saying he didn't sacrifice anything. He's actually upset. [00:07:27] Speaker C: That's what I'm saying. He didn't sacrifice anything. She did. So what is she talking about? We both sacrificed stuff to make each other happy. He still got his shoes. He still got his game. You put your stuff in his daughter's room. You sacrificed your daughter's privacy, your daughter's space. What did he sacrifice? You could have threw them shoes out. You could have threw that game out, man. [00:07:45] Speaker B: That man would have went nuts. [00:07:46] Speaker C: It's her house. [00:07:47] Speaker B: He would have went crazy in that. [00:07:48] Speaker C: It's her apartment. She says it's her lease. I've never been pregnant, but I have heard, like, trying to sleep in pregnant on the couch is not I heard. [00:07:56] Speaker B: Trying to sleep pregnant is. [00:08:00] Speaker C: That makes it worse. Unless you got one of them expensive, comfortable couches that sink in as soon as you lay down. But the way she's talking, that's not comfortable. Some of her back hurting and all. [00:08:10] Speaker D: Let's talk about the note from the. [00:08:11] Speaker B: Girl, because I think that got lost in the whole thing. I thought that when I first initially read the letter, I was like, okay, that's where this is going. And then it went into shoes and places, and I was like, Wait, what about the note? [00:08:26] Speaker D: So from the what seems to me like he's cheating on you. He don't care about your well being. He doesn't care about what he's doing. He's lying to you about what you're doing or what he's doing? He's hiding everything. So if he's doing all this now while you're pregnant, what's he going to do with the baby pops out? [00:08:43] Speaker C: And when I'm friends with people, our relationships, I do have their location, but at the same time, I have their location. But if one location I got your look for an hour. If you chose not to share my location, your location with me because that made you feel uncomfortable, then you don't have to share your location. But it's the fact she said he goes out place. It doesn't tell her where she's going. You can at least tell me where you're going. I don't have to have your location, know your every move, but you can at least tell me where you're going. And then he just texts her and be like, I'm not going to be home to 04:00 a.m. Your girlfriend is pregnant, why are you not getting home till 04:00 A.m.? And you said it's for work, but you're not getting home till 04:00 a.m. [00:13:44] Speaker D: Way, even on the lease. [00:13:49] Speaker B: It sound like you don't even have a key. [00:13:50] Speaker D: Yeah, she got to let him in every night. [00:13:54] Speaker B: This is my apartment, and if I'm paying all the bills, you're not about to have a key. I'm sorry. [00:13:59] Speaker C: You think you better have a whole shoe rack and all your games taking up my apartment. [00:14:02] Speaker B: Shoe rack? No, she said, like shelves. Shelves. Yeah. [00:14:07] Speaker C: I can't fit my shoes nowhere. [00:14:08] Speaker B: I can't fit myself. She's sleeping in the living room. [00:14:12] Speaker C: On the couch. [00:14:14] Speaker B: On the couch. I'm sorry. That's wild. What type of man? That's what I got. [00:14:18] Speaker C: How many months? [00:14:19] Speaker B: She says she is 20 weeks. [00:14:21] Speaker C: So it's four months. Four months. I'm pretty sure she's getting big. [00:14:27] Speaker B: She's getting big. [00:14:28] Speaker C: That's uncomfortable. [00:14:29] Speaker B: It's got to be. [00:14:31] Speaker C: I've been like, Baby, you got to go. I ain't let nobody let me sleep on a couch in my own apartment. Let me be at home and he say, I'll sleep on the couch. I thought you pay rent in here. [00:14:43] Speaker D: I thought your name was on the leaf. [00:14:46] Speaker C: Turn that house upside down. Couches everywhere. That couch will be on the ground, flipped over. [00:14:51] Speaker B: Get some furniture moving. [00:14:52] Speaker C: Okay. That couch can be outside and you're going to be sipping outside. Exactly. [00:14:57] Speaker D: She made room for the shoes and stuff. I would have threw it out. [00:15:00] Speaker B: You just threw it out? I would have threw it out. [00:15:02] Speaker D: It's my room. [00:15:07] Speaker B: You want me to tell you why she did not throw his shoes out and she did not throw them PlayStations out? [00:15:11] Speaker D: Because she loved them. [00:15:12] Speaker B: I gave no. You want to know why? [00:15:15] Speaker C: Because she didn't want to get beat up. [00:15:16] Speaker B: No, Daddy. Why? When I tell you why, you're going to be like, Yup. Because she bought all that. Because she bought it all. [00:15:28] Speaker D: In that case, I sell it. [00:15:33] Speaker B: Now that she bought all that stuff. She bought the Jordans. She bought the PlayStation. [00:15:38] Speaker C: For me to ruin a man clothes, shoes and game, I got to be real mad. Because, like me, I love my phone. If I just got my wig doing, I got my hair done, nails. If we get into an argument and you mess that stuff up, he's not funny. He's going downhill. We're fighting. Call the police. I try my best not to touch a man's game, clothes or shoes. Not me. Because if they you look crazy. I try my best, but if I'm real mad and I'm going to do it. [00:16:05] Speaker B: But she probably didn't buy the PS one, two, three. [00:16:08] Speaker C: Or probably did. If I have a lot of money now. [00:16:12] Speaker B: Bought that fire. She bought that fire. But yeah, go ahead and leave. I think this is a no brainer. The lease is up. His lease is up. So I'm going to spring another letter on you and then we're going to get out of here. This one says, Dear Nick, my husband has been dealing with another woman and was seen with her at the hospital. I don't know if she's still in there or why she's in there, but I really need to know for my family and my own health. A family member of mine that works at the hospital won't give me the information unless I leave him. That's crazy. To me, marriage isn't just something you leave. We aren't boyfriend and girlfriend. And how would I know if I need to leave if I don't know what's going on? She's dead wrong for holding this information from me. How can I get the information I need without having to go through my. [00:17:05] Speaker C: Family member weakened knees? My family not by do that. They're going to tell me right then. Second of all, if I really want to know, I'm going to the hospital and I'm going to go like, so what's up? This is my husband. We ain't boyfriend, this is my husband. So what's going on? She could either be pregnant or something. I get the family members point of view, though, because first of all, they can get fired for you. So if I'm sitting there telling you this and I'm risking my own job because I love you that much and I care about you, and you still going to stay with him after that, like, let's say I tell you that, right? And you all get into an argument. You all get in a fight, police call, then they start, like, investigating, investigating. They find out I'm the one who told you something like that. I'm risking my own job and my own career. So I'm going to sit there. I'll probably be that one. I'll be like, I'm going to tell you this, but if you stay with him after this either, we done. We over with. We're not friends no more. We're not family. Just leave me alone. Because apparently the family member is holding it from her because it's something serious. [00:18:03] Speaker B: That's what I was going to say. It's something serious. [00:18:05] Speaker C: Serious. And she had a baby. She's pregnant. They could be married, and the lady could be sick. She could be pregnant. It could be anything. [00:18:12] Speaker B: And it could just be the whole the way he's acting, being there. Like, first off, your husband's at the hospital with his side chick. [00:18:25] Speaker C: That's in public. Everybody be at the hospital. [00:18:29] Speaker B: So that begs the question, is she the side chick or are you? [00:18:34] Speaker C: He's taking her to the hospital, being in public with her. [00:18:38] Speaker D: And another thing is, where is he telling you where he's at when he's at the hospital? [00:18:42] Speaker C: When he's at the hospital, where is he saying he's at? And you're mad at this family member or friend when they're literally like she said, I felt like that's wrong for her not to tell me. We're not boyfriend or girlfriend. We're married. [00:18:52] Speaker D: That's your husband. [00:18:53] Speaker C: That's why she doesn't want to tell you. Because you all are married. She know whatever she tell you, you're going to take serious. [00:18:57] Speaker B: Yeah. And then you're going to go there. You're going to cut a fool, and he going to say, where you get that from? And now you don't put that woman job in jeopardy because it is a law. And I think, if I'm not mistaken, HIPAA, I think you can't get arrested. [00:19:12] Speaker C: Yes. That's how my job is. You can't never work at another hospital, none of that. [00:19:17] Speaker B: So everything you went to school for. [00:19:20] Speaker D: Gone for this custom you barely know. [00:19:24] Speaker C: Just divorce him. [00:19:26] Speaker B: Just tell her, hey, look, I'm done. [00:19:28] Speaker C: Or just tell him, you know, and you want him to tell him what's going on. [00:19:33] Speaker B: Or like they just said, just show up to the hospital. Oh, it's the hospital you work at. Okay, Auntie Sue, I'm on my way. [00:19:41] Speaker C: Your family see him. So all you got to go is to the flow that she work on. [00:19:46] Speaker B: And where he at, and all she going to do is give you the eyes. [00:19:48] Speaker C: And the hospitals we have down here, literally everybody be there. So you ain't even got to say your cousin, friend, whatever told you, you hear to somebody, somebody posted it on Snapchat, somebody sent it to you, they would never know the difference. [00:19:58] Speaker B: No. And most of these there is security, but they're going to let you upstairs. I'm here to visit my aunt. She at work. [00:20:04] Speaker C: Her name is go ahead and do it. [00:20:06] Speaker B: Yeah, go ahead and do it. And then she says, I don't know if she's still there or why she's in there, but I really need to know for my family and my own health. Do you think it's her own physical health or her own mental health? [00:20:23] Speaker C: Probably mental health. [00:20:25] Speaker B: Which would scare you more? [00:20:26] Speaker C: Well, she's probably stressing herself out now, just trying to figure out what's going on. [00:20:32] Speaker B: As I'm saying. Which one would bother you more? Is it more so about the because if my husband is with somebody, he's been cheating and that means he's been physical with them to the point where somebody's in the hospital, do you think some fair of it? Is that it's something that she needs. [00:20:52] Speaker C: To be worried about, a disease or something? She probably already know what it is. We always know something. It's just being the back of the head. We just don't want to say. And we take it out on other people. Like she's taking it out on a family member. She already knows. She already know what it is. But the fact that somebody else now seen it and she said with her cousin or something, right. [00:21:13] Speaker B: She says it I was going to good information. She said just a family member. [00:21:19] Speaker C: Okay. A family member. Okay. And I'm pretty sure that family member told somebody else in the family. It's like when your friends find out, okay, it's different. But if it's like a friend that's close to the family or a family member, it's like, okay, now the whole family might possibly know my business and stuff like that. You shouldn't think like that, but that's really how it is. [00:21:37] Speaker B: Okay, that brings a question. You're a friend, right? And you see their mate let's say it's not the hospital. You see their mate out on a date. Do you tell your friend, yeah, I'm. [00:21:50] Speaker D: Taking a picture and sending it to him for real? [00:21:54] Speaker C: She did that to me before. And I won't just take a picture of him. I'm going to go walk up and talk. I see you. [00:22:07] Speaker B: I'm going to hit him with, it. [00:22:08] Speaker D: Wasn'T me, not if I got a video. [00:22:13] Speaker B: That video is on a slant. That ain't me. [00:22:16] Speaker C: If I tell my friend I've seen a man with another woman, whatever, and they'd be like, I don't believe you. I'd be like, okay, now you look to her. I wouldn't say that for no reason. [00:22:26] Speaker B: Okay? Somebody called you and said, hey, I. [00:22:28] Speaker C: Seen your man FaceTime me. [00:22:31] Speaker B: I'm not going through all of that. [00:22:32] Speaker C: No, but our friends will see her. She at work. I'd be like, taking pictures. All right, I'll show you later. Because I feel like that's weird. Like, for me, as a friend, family member, whatever, okay? If I see your man out with a group of people and girls are included, I might or might not say no, because it could be like a coworker. It could be a group of friends. But if they're with a girl, just them and that girl, and they're at the bargain talking, they look like they're being super friendly. I'm going to let you know what's super friendly? Super friendly, like laughing, touching, touching. I laugh every day gestures. [00:23:09] Speaker B: I mean, they ain't hugging and kissing. Maybe that's, maybe that's by their body language, maybe that's Josie from accounting. [00:23:21] Speaker C: So when you was married, is your wife I know you was married twice, right? [00:23:25] Speaker B: Married once and engaged a second. [00:23:28] Speaker C: So, like, did you go out with females? [00:23:32] Speaker B: I have female friends, and although people have issues with them, I have female friends. So it's either none of us are sexual now, CL has a rule. If you've seen them naked, they can't be your friend. So some of my friends are exes, but we've been through a lot as friends. I have one person who's probably one of my best friends in the world tara. Me and Tara dated high school towards the end of high school, and then, like, a year, and then we broke up. And then when we kind of came to South Carolina, went to the same school, and then we got back together, and then we broke up again. And she's like, one of my best everything Tara knows if there's a person that know what a body's buried, tara know what a body's buried, and none of my exes have had an issue with her. Now, there are some of my exes that people have issues with, but it's not for anything that they did. It's just the way it's perceived. As I've gotten older, have kind of I wouldn't say kind of stepped back from some of those friendships, but because I don't like bailing on people. And if you're my friend, you're my friend for life. Unless you screw me over completely, you're my friend for life, and I will bend over backwards to my friend. Anybody will tell you that. So some people do have issues. So asking me a question of would I go out with my female friend and it'd be nothing? Yeah, I would. And if you had a problem with it, then that's really kind of your problem. [00:25:20] Speaker C: So would you allow her to go out with men bar dates? [00:25:24] Speaker B: Bar date? Friendship? [00:25:26] Speaker C: Bar friend dates? [00:25:27] Speaker B: No. So you're using date? No, we're not going on a date. [00:25:31] Speaker C: No. Like a friend date? [00:25:32] Speaker B: No. You're saying friend date? No, there is no date. [00:25:35] Speaker D: Hang out with a male friend? [00:25:37] Speaker B: Yeah, she can hang out with a male friend. [00:25:39] Speaker C: You want some type where he comes to the house, you get off where he's sitting down the couch. [00:25:42] Speaker B: You want to know why his beard? You want to know why he ain't me. [00:25:47] Speaker C: He ain't me, period. [00:25:49] Speaker B: He ain't going to do what I could do, period. [00:25:52] Speaker C: Period. [00:25:53] Speaker B: And I've said it on the show before, and so our listeners know, I learned a long time ago when I was young, I got my heart broken a little bit, very young, like teens and crying. And my grandma says my grandmother told me, she said, I'm going to teach you a lesson, and this is it. If somebody leaves, that means they were always going to leave. The question was how long they were going to stay. All you can do is do everything in your power to make sure that the reason that they leave is not you. So have I always practiced it not being me? No, because I've done some messed up stuff. But I do understand that in the relationships in which I've done everything I possibly can do to the best of my ability and the person still leaves, what am I to do about that? How am I supposed to stop that? So if I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do, why am I losing my mind over you having lunch or dinner with a male friend of yours or even a coworker? Because it's up to you to decide whether you're going to do something. [00:27:07] Speaker C: I'm going to let you do what you want to do to see what you would rather do. So it's like, whatever choices you make, that's on you. [00:27:16] Speaker B: A lot of people don't agree with me on that. A lot of people don't agree. But I'm just like jealousy. It just doesn't creep into me. I know I'm not perfect. I know I got my flaws. I know. I got my issues. I know I need counseling, all those things. I know all of that. So I know I'm not perfect, and I know that there's probably somebody out there that's better for you than me. But if I'm trying my best and I don't have better, if I'm trying my best, then what reason does it make for me to be jealous over you? Now, if you know that if I know this dude is too dirty and I know what he want to do, that's a totally different story, because now you know what he want, and you going out with him with the predator, like, you know what he want, and you're going out with him over that. But if y'all are friends, he done been to the crib. We done hung out. What reason? I got y'all caught something to drink after work. Okay. I really don't like him like that, so why am I hanging out with him? You know what I'm saying? I got my own friends. It don't bother me. And so I had a woman I was dating once, and she was like, well, that's because you want to hang out with your girlfriends. No, I really don't want to hang out with them either. They cool. But you know what saying I'm because I'm more of a homebody, so I don't want to hang out with them either, but I will if they want to go do something. I don't care if I'm in Atlanta and I go holler at my cousin or my friends or whatever. Shoot, we gonna go hang out, and there's probably gonna be some women involved, but I'm not gonna be hollering at nobody if I'm in a relationship. That just ain't what's it worth. What you have is always better than what you don't know you're going to get. [00:28:56] Speaker C: To me, jealousy is so embarrassing on a person. Not embarrassing as in, like, but embarrassing on a person's part that gets jealous because it's like, you're doing all this, and it'd be like the prettiest girls in the world, the finest dudes in the world, and they letting this one person bring them out of character, and they call jealousy the green eyed monster. It's like anytime I've ever gotten jealous and I've done something crazy, I look back on myself, and I feel so embarrassed because I'd be like, why did you do all that? [00:29:27] Speaker B: But what's the reason for I don't understand being jealous. Just break up with the person. [00:29:33] Speaker C: It's like a feeling. I feel like jealousy is a feeling. You can't control. [00:29:38] Speaker B: Every feeling you have, you can control. [00:29:41] Speaker C: Jealousy is something you can't I don't. [00:29:43] Speaker B: Think every feeling you have, you can control. [00:29:46] Speaker C: Like crying. [00:29:47] Speaker B: You can control every feeling you have because okay, prime example. All right, so you mean to tell me let's say you're angry, right? If you get angry at work, are you going to deal with the situation the same way you get angry if you're not at work. [00:30:03] Speaker C: No, I'm a deal with exactly. You're going to breathe, they're going to bathroom, go outside. [00:30:11] Speaker B: Okay. [00:30:11] Speaker C: Because it's how I make my money. [00:30:13] Speaker B: So why don't you apply that to your life? [00:30:15] Speaker C: You're right. [00:30:17] Speaker B: So of course you can control your emotions. You may not be able to control who you fall in love with. You may not be able to control none of that, but you can control what you do when you're angry. You can control what you do with those emotions. You may not be able to control the emotion, but you can control what you do with the emotion. With the emotion. And I think that that's where people get lost. Well, I can't help it. I'm just jealous. Just you got to accept no, I don't. No, I don't. And I think that that's what a lot of times people want you. My favorite line is, accept me for me. Well, you suck. I don't have to accept that. And I know that sometimes people got to tell me that because I'll be like, I work a lot. Accept me for me or go get somebody else. [00:31:05] Speaker C: That's one of my favorite things to say. [00:31:07] Speaker B: But that's wrong. [00:31:08] Speaker C: I know it's not right because I. [00:31:10] Speaker B: Know it's wrong when I say it. [00:31:11] Speaker C: I'd be like, yeah, I got an attitude and what, somebody going to like it. But then I got to think about it. Sometimes I sit back and look at myself like, damn. [00:31:19] Speaker B: Yeah, when you need to fix your attitude, when you like 50 talking about somebody going to like it, them numbers is dwindling. [00:31:24] Speaker C: Apparently nobody don't like you. [00:31:29] Speaker B: 50 don't nobody like you. [00:31:31] Speaker C: Okay? [00:31:33] Speaker B: So last piece of advice for this person here, divorce him, SIS. [00:31:39] Speaker C: Just let it go. [00:31:41] Speaker B: Divorce him, SIS. [00:31:43] Speaker C: Take your family, confront him, and if he ain't trying to tell you the truth or ain't trying to fix it, then divorce him. Leave him. And if you're better and if you really, really want to know, just go out there. Stop being mad at your friend, your family member. Like, understand, they coming from a place. They probably don't want to lose their job. They don't want to see you hurt no more. Don't be mad at them. Be mad at that dude because he obviously is hiding something from you, your husband. Remember that. That's your husband, not your boyfriend. Like you just said it in the note. This ain't no nothing to show what Sadeff do as part. That's a life commitment. Be mad at him. Don't be mad at nobody else, because I would have been at the hospital. [00:32:21] Speaker B: Any final word? [00:32:23] Speaker D: Love yourself more. [00:32:24] Speaker B: Love yourself more. [00:32:25] Speaker C: Love yourself. [00:32:26] Speaker B: He just titled the episode. We had a comment. Khalida home said this person is delulu. If you're not going to leave, go do some chores or something. Go get tested on your own. That friend shouldn't have a role in anything to begin with. Let that man cheat in peace. If you ain't leaving if you ain't leaving yeah, if you ain't leaving, go ahead. I ain't got no role in this. This ain't my fault. All right, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining me again. Thank you for stepping in. When my team's out, tell the people how they can find the show. When and how. [00:33:09] Speaker C: Advise on the rise. On advise on the rise. One on Instagram. Vibes arise on Facebook. What else? [00:33:16] Speaker D: We on advice on the rise on every platform. [00:33:20] Speaker B: Everywhere. Everywhere. Like air. [00:33:22] Speaker C: And I'm the co host. [00:33:23] Speaker D: Deja J sean. [00:33:25] Speaker C: I'm the co host Lala okay. [00:33:28] Speaker B: And Bob's on the rise. Look out for him each and every Friday. Remember, you can find me on Snapchat and Instagram at the 9th. Wonder on what the hell is that damn thing? Cost the dancing thing. TikTok relstat podcast on Facebook. Yoshi English. And on Twitter, aka X at I am Coach e underscore. Until the next time we are out. [00:33:52] Speaker E: For listening to another episode of Relationship Status. Remember, you can catch us on relationshipstatuspodcast.com. Itunes, Google Podcast, iHeartRadio Spotify, Pandora, amazon Music. Nobody grinds like us. And anywhere you listen to your favorite podcasts. If you would like to join the conversation or leave us a dear Neek, email us at relstat [email protected]. 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