291st Date: “THAT’S JUST MY FRIEND!”

[00:00:01] Speaker A: The reason is none of your business. [00:00:02] Speaker B: I just got out of my relationship last year because of this same exact. [00:00:06] Speaker A: But that's my friend. It doesn't matter what the history. That's not [00:00:08] Speaker B: your friend. [00:00:08] Speaker A: That is my friend. That's [00:00:10] Speaker B: not your friend. How [00:00:10] Speaker A: you gonna. Y' all saw [00:00:11] Speaker B: each other naked. Y' all exchange bodily fluids. That is not your friend. [00:00:16] Speaker A: That's [00:00:17] Speaker B: not your friend. [00:00:18] Speaker A: That's [00:00:18] Speaker B: not [00:00:18] Speaker A: your friend, baby. That's not [00:00:20] Speaker B: your friend. [00:00:21] Speaker A: That is not [00:00:21] Speaker B: your friend. [00:00:22] Speaker A: Listen, that is my. [00:00:23] Speaker B: That's not your friend. [00:00:25] Speaker A: What is the definition of foreign? Welcome back to Relationship Status. It's your boy Yousef in the building, and I'm here with [00:00:38] Speaker B: Angel. [00:00:39] Speaker A: And my boy Victor is back for episode two. He was just on the episode that dropped yesterday on YouTube. So if you haven't checked that out, go ahead over to our YouTube channel, the relationship Status podcast, and check out that episode as well as our back catalog of all episodes we have as. And also, remember, we're on the road to 500. 500 subscribers by December 1st. Remember, we're giving away that free gas card, that $100 gas card, and we are giving away a free Relationship Status T shirt. So let's just get into the conversation, because when the people come on, they'll. They'll get in. When they get in. The question is. Well, first off, Angel. [00:01:19] Speaker B: Yes. [00:01:20] Speaker A: Back off. Your vacation days. How was vacation? [00:01:25] Speaker C: It was nice. Was it really a vacation? But yeah, it was nice. [00:01:30] Speaker A: Okay. How's the week going? [00:01:33] Speaker D: Listen, man, not to go too much into it, but, you know, for Halloween, even though it was back. We'll talk about that camera. I did a fish fry for the neighborhood, and I was very disappointed in how people were acting. [00:01:47] Speaker C: Oh, no. What happened at the fish fry? And I like a fish fry. I mean, I don't eat fish that much, but I mean, I like a French fry. [00:01:55] Speaker D: French fry. [00:01:56] Speaker C: A fish fry. [00:01:57] Speaker D: Fish fry. [00:01:58] Speaker C: What kind of fish did you have? [00:01:59] Speaker D: I had whitening. I had about 40 pounds of whitening, you know. Cause normally I do the tuna fish, and I gave away ramen noodles, but this time I did a fish fry. Wasn't giving it to kids. Told the kids, like. Cause people don't know the allergies or bones, stuff like that. And the adults was just acting like a bunch of people. People getting in line three, four times. I'm giving it away. I'm not selling it. People coming up in there telling me they want two and three pieces. Like, sometimes, man, you just can't do. [00:02:30] Speaker A: Yeah, you can't do stuff. For people. [00:02:31] Speaker C: That sucks. I hate that. [00:02:33] Speaker A: So [00:02:34] Speaker C: that sucks. [00:02:36] Speaker A: We got a question that was sent to us by Mo Black Hawaii. One of your favorite friends, angel, [00:02:41] Speaker C: he be bullying me. I feel like I need to see him in the street. I'm sorry. [00:02:45] Speaker A: Well, the question was, can women. I'm sorry. Not that wrong. Should men and women in committed relationship have friends of the opposite sex? So y' all answer that question in the comments. The question is. And the topic is, should men and women in committed relationships have friends of the opposite sex? What do you say I start with you, Vic? [00:03:10] Speaker D: So to be honest with you, I can't say you said, should they or can they? [00:03:16] Speaker A: No, should. [00:03:17] Speaker D: Should. I [00:03:18] Speaker A: Can. Should. [00:03:20] Speaker D: I don't. I think if you already have the friendship established to a certain extent, it's okay. But you gotta understand that you dating me, it's not like you can still do the same things you was when you were single. You know, hanging out with Buddy and doing all this, you know, as we morph into one. I feel like you, at some point in time, you gonna have to tailor off from bro. That's just how I feel. [00:03:47] Speaker A: Yeah, I think me too. Well, I wasn't. I. I will say this. I was. I was a firm believer. The opposite way. I was like, it doesn't matter. We're friends. You know, I got friends, so it shouldn't matter who I got. You know what I'm saying? Because if you trust me, you could trust me around this woman. Because it's up to me to make whatever decision is gonna be for anything to happen as it is. [00:04:13] Speaker D: So you. You really. So I guess that's what my insecurities play on me. The same thing when. When I was talking about with Chanel. [00:04:23] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:04:25] Speaker D: That past episodes is the reason why I don't trust. I don't trust dudes now and stuff. You get what I'm saying? I don't trust. You know, I have trust issues because of past experiences and my, you know, girlfriend now or people that's in my life now, they're going. That's just something they got to deal with. [00:04:49] Speaker A: What do you think? What you think, Angel? [00:04:53] Speaker B: It's kind of different when you say should. Yeah, [00:04:55] Speaker A: Should. [00:04:56] Speaker B: That's kind of like. That's like, should I go to work today or should I? So it's kind of like, yeah, you should if you need a paycheck. And I believe you should. I don't think. I don't like the way it's worded. [00:05:15] Speaker A: No. What you mean? [00:05:16] Speaker B: I don't like the way it's worded. No, [00:05:18] Speaker A: that's, that's the formulation of the question. [00:05:20] Speaker B: Should you. Yeah, [00:05:21] Speaker A: you [00:05:22] Speaker B: should do whatever you feel like is okay for you. That's what you should do. Everybody should do what they feel is best for them. So. But I [00:05:35] Speaker A: don't know. But you're not. See, like you're the person. You're like one of the kids that failed to standardize. We [00:05:41] Speaker B: said when [00:05:41] Speaker A: you. Because you're not answering the question. [00:05:42] Speaker B: No, no, no. Because if you say, should I. Yeah, [00:05:45] Speaker A: should you? That's a yes, I [00:05:47] Speaker B: should. But do I want to [00:05:51] Speaker D: call you? [00:05:52] Speaker A: Wait, hold on. So [00:05:53] Speaker B: that's like, if you say, hey, should you go to work today? Yeah, I should. But do I want to know? [00:06:00] Speaker A: But, but if you know you should, then what you do. [00:06:04] Speaker B: So what I, I'm going because I want a paycheck, but you saying, should I do it? Yeah, I should. But do I want to know? [00:06:12] Speaker A: Yes, but then. So, okay, so even in, let's say it's. It's a. With everything comes sacrifice, right? [00:06:20] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:06:21] Speaker A: You want to pay your bills, you sacrifice your time going to work so you can get a paycheck. [00:06:25] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:06:25] Speaker A: You want to have. If you want a happy relationship, you sacrifice. Sometimes you gotta sacrifice your friends. Should I have? That's what I'm saying. [00:06:33] Speaker B: I mean, you [00:06:34] Speaker A: should [00:06:34] Speaker B: I. [00:06:36] Speaker A: Okay, should [00:06:37] Speaker B: I should. And I don't know. [00:06:39] Speaker A: Mo Black said, let's go a step further. Does your partner have a right to talk? I'm sorry to ask you not to speak to that friend of the opposite sex because they're uncomfortable with the relationship. I think. Yes, [00:06:53] Speaker B: yes, I believe. Yeah, [00:06:55] Speaker D: I agree. I think time. If you've already had that relationship established before you got to me, you know, I'm a person like this. If I see you moving a certain type of way, once it's in my mind, that's exactly what it is. And it's very hard for somebody else to change my mind. So if I feel like this is never going to change, I'm not going to ask you. I feel like you should know. These are things like, you know, the conversation we was having before, like some people just morph into this. They gonna just, okay, well, I'm tending to this man over here. I' ma stop talking and doing all this stuff over here. So I'm not gonna ask. Imma just leave. [00:07:36] Speaker A: Yeah, well. And, well, that's the thing too. Like, yeah, I get just leaving. But it depends on, like you said, like if they, if they got some weird play stuff going on and Like. Like all of that. And they accepted. I don't know if any. Y' all watch the show Friends? [00:07:53] Speaker D: Yes. [00:07:54] Speaker A: But you remember the episode where Rachel was dating a dude from downstairs and he had the sister, and they was, like, taking a bath together, and they was tickling each other and all of that. That's. [00:08:03] Speaker D: Wow. [00:08:04] Speaker A: And she was like. And she was like, oh. She was like, do y'. All. Does everybody just play like that? And he was like, oh, now, we just always been like that. And she said, and that's your sister. And it made her uncomfortable as she went. So. So eventually, I think the bath was, like, the last thing. The last straw. [00:08:19] Speaker D: Yeah. The last [00:08:19] Speaker A: stroke. She, like, walked in the door and. And he was like, hey, what's going on? He was like, she's like, where's? He said, yeah, she's in the back. And she was. And the sister called. I. Hey, are you coming to the back? I never watch Reg. Like, all right, that's enough. Yeah. So I think when the behavior warrants it. [00:08:37] Speaker D: But [00:08:37] Speaker B: I never watch Friends. I watch Living Single, but go [00:08:39] Speaker C: ahead. [00:08:40] Speaker A: Now, if the behavior doesn't warrant, then you're missing out. Than if the behavior doesn't warrant me having to ask, then I won't ask because this person's being respectful. Now, when you were single, it's okay for him to call you all time of night? It's okay. [00:08:55] Speaker B: Oh, absolutely. I agree with all [00:08:56] Speaker A: that. Once you end up in a committed relationship, I believe if it's a committed relationship, some of that stuff got to curtail. [00:09:03] Speaker D: It's got to. It's got to. [00:09:04] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:09:05] Speaker A: It's not every day. Like, I once had a situation a couple years ago. You [00:09:12] Speaker C: always in a situation? [00:09:13] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, listen, I've been. I've lived on this earth for a little while, and I've experienced a good bit of stuff. You [00:09:19] Speaker B: had a baby, too. I'm just kidding. [00:09:20] Speaker A: Yeah, I do have baby. I have babies. Okay. But I had a situation one time where I was dating. I was in a committed relationship with someone. Matter of fact, we weren't even in a committed relationship at the time, but we were headed in that direction. And a friend of mine had got. A female friend of mine had got evicted from her home. Her husband, kids all got evicted now. I had some. I had a room, and this been my dog. So you [00:09:47] Speaker B: said her husband. Go ahead. I'm sorry. [00:09:49] Speaker A: Yeah, she was married. So before bringing it, I felt bad my friend didn't ask me anything. But I know I had been homeless before at one point, so I knew what that felt like to be evicted from your home and so. And not have a place to go. So as my. My friend, I was like, all right, well, let me call. Let me call my girl and find out if she's okay with it. So that was the first. That was the first step I took was I called. I said, hey, my friend just, you know, she's going through a tough time. Her and her family just got evicted. I want. I don't know if you're going to be comfortable with it. I said, if you say no. And now, mind you, we weren't even in a committed relationship yet. If you say no, it's no. But if you're good with it, then I would like to help her out. We'll put a timeframe on it, of course, but I'd like to help her out. And she was like. She thought for a few minutes, and then she was like, okay, that's cool. She was like, I'm cool with it. I'm good with it. And more so I think. Now, mind you, I don't think if my friend was single, it would have been cool. [00:10:53] Speaker D: Yeah, [00:10:54] Speaker B: yeah. No, absolutely [00:10:55] Speaker A: not. But the fact that she was married, I think gave her some ease, and it was her and her family coming that gave her some ease. But it was my respect for what I had with my. Well, she wasn't my girl at the time, but where it was headed and what I had saw in it, heading. I was like, look, let me ask. And let me put that out there first before I move forward with anything. [00:11:19] Speaker D: It's [00:11:20] Speaker B: a respect thing, though. [00:11:21] Speaker D: So was. I'm sorry, but. So what was dope is that y' all wasn't living together, right? [00:11:26] Speaker A: Nah. [00:11:27] Speaker D: So, but that's the part that I commend you for, because the girl wasn't living there, and you asked her, like, listen, are you cool with this? That's the commendable thing that I see, because you could have just said, well, this my house. We ain't in no committed relationship. You don't even stay here. [00:11:48] Speaker A: Yeah, [00:11:49] Speaker D: I commend you for that, bro. [00:11:51] Speaker A: But that was the first thing I. I don't know why it was the first thing that hit my head, but it was the first thing that I was like, oh, hey, let me. Well, let me make a phone call. And it was after that, then I offered to my friend, and of course she had to ask her husband, and she asked him, and he was like, okay, but [00:12:08] Speaker B: the whole thing is wild. [00:12:11] Speaker A: No, but I'm saying sometimes. Sometimes people end Up. I. I've always been a person. If I can help, I'm gonna help. [00:12:17] Speaker D: Yeah, [00:12:18] Speaker A: if you're my friend. And even for some people, that's not my friend. Yeah, I think the other day I had. I had my team, my b. Had the basketball team. Feed the football team. [00:12:29] Speaker D: Yeah, [00:12:30] Speaker A: we paid for the food, [00:12:32] Speaker D: that's for sure. [00:12:32] Speaker A: Hey, y' all gonna serve them, you know what I'm saying? Like, because your service tower should always be bigger. [00:12:38] Speaker D: Shows humility, you [00:12:40] Speaker A: know what I'm saying? Oh, man, why we gotta do that? Hey, man, scoop that rice for them boys. You know what I'm saying? [00:12:47] Speaker B: Go ahead. [00:12:48] Speaker A: They got the season, they got this going on, you know what I'm saying? They're on a run. Let's support them. Let's show them that we support them. They come to our basketball games and ready to ride with us. Let's show them that we support them by serving them. And that's just kind of the person I've kind of always been. And so even in that sense, taking it back, I think that, yeah, we could have friends of the opposite sex. The problem is, one, the people who don't think that you should have friends of the opposite sex believe that. People that don't believe in that. What's up, Chanel? We miss you. She back with fmla. The people who don't believe that, I think sometimes they struggle with insecurities. That's one. I think also those people, too, they struggle with the insecurity because they probably have been burnt before by a situation because it wasn't because of the friend. It's usually because of the person they're in the relationship with, because the person in the relationship with is the one that didn't set the boundaries that allowed that person to. To go ahead and go, okay, you know, cool. [00:13:52] Speaker D: You know what, Yoshi? I think. I think my insecurities a lot. And I'm going to use Chanel Haitian now a word she said. My securities allow my picker to be a little bit more accurate now because, you know, there's. You know, we could always talk about the eye candy and stuff, but remember the last show that's on YouTube, everybody that we talked about that, dating a famous person? I was like, I don't think I could, because I wouldn't feel comfortable knowing. Like, I'm just not built that way. I don't have that trust in me. So I feel like I want to be with somebody who is just as not going to say insecure, but just as plain as I Am that we know. Like, listen, like the situation with like you talking about, I'm going to see and make sure you cool with this. Like even today I called my lady like, listen, you know, I want to do this thing with Yoshi at 6. She was like, hey, go ahead and do your thing. You know, just be mindful. You know what I'm saying? [00:14:53] Speaker A: Be careful what [00:14:53] Speaker D: you [00:14:55] Speaker C: just to piggyback off of what he was just saying that he wanted somebody plain. And we've talked about this. [00:15:01] Speaker A: Oh my God, here we go. [00:15:02] Speaker C: On a few episodes back. [00:15:04] Speaker D: Okay, [00:15:07] Speaker A: go ahead. [00:15:08] Speaker C: When I was once married before, my ex husband said I was too high maintenance for him. I was too this and whatever. So he remarried to somebody that you said that's just kind of plain. And I'm okay with that because you got to be with. You have to be with the person that makes you complete. Like you have to. And he would often tell after this is after our divorce and I would run into our mutual friends and be like, oh, he was like, he couldn't. It was too many men that would, you know, he feel that would hit on you or he would because. Or they would compliment you on your body behind her. And it was just things that he couldn't [00:15:52] Speaker D: take. [00:15:53] Speaker C: That he couldn't take. So I'm like, that's wild. But [00:15:57] Speaker D: I mean [00:15:58] Speaker C: we were together for so long. Like I don't get it. That's wild to me. But. And also some of my male friends is like, it's gonna be hard for you to be in a committed relationship because of guys in their in [00:16:15] Speaker D: insecurities [00:16:16] Speaker C: all the time is, you know, is that you're very shapely. And then, you know, men like what they like and it's just. And I'm like, well, I'm just going to probably get a dog [00:16:28] Speaker D: or cat [00:16:29] Speaker C: and I carry my cat with me all day. I don't need one anyway. So a dog would be even better. And I have goldfish that makes. Yeah. [00:16:40] Speaker D: Wow. [00:16:42] Speaker A: Black asked a question. He said, what happens if you find out that your partner didn't disclose that the friend of the opposite sex was once more than a friend? [00:16:52] Speaker B: I just went through that similar situation. [00:16:56] Speaker A: What's up? Riz shouts out [00:16:57] Speaker B: we gonna might have to fight. I don't know. [00:17:03] Speaker A: Why would you have to fight? I [00:17:04] Speaker B: don't know. I feel like I'm just joking. No, I mean just leave because why would. Because I feel like you left that out for a reason. [00:17:12] Speaker D: Yeah, [00:17:13] Speaker A: you left it out for a reason. Because it was not. How about the Reason is none of your business. [00:17:17] Speaker B: I just got out of my relationship last year because of this same exact. [00:17:21] Speaker A: But that's my friend. It doesn't matter what the history is. Not [00:17:23] Speaker B: your friend. [00:17:24] Speaker A: That is my friend. That's [00:17:25] Speaker B: not your friend. How [00:17:25] Speaker A: you gonna say y' all saw [00:17:26] Speaker B: each other naked? Y' all exchanged bodily fluids? That is not your friend. [00:17:31] Speaker D: That's not your friend. [00:17:33] Speaker A: That's not your friend. Baby. That's not your [00:17:35] Speaker B: friend. [00:17:35] Speaker A: No, that is not your friend. Listen, that is my. That's [00:17:38] Speaker B: not your [00:17:38] Speaker A: friend. What is the definition of a friend? [00:17:41] Speaker B: That's not your friend. [00:17:42] Speaker A: What is the definition of a [00:17:43] Speaker D: friendisha? [00:17:45] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:45] Speaker A: That ain't your friend. What is the definition? Somebody [00:17:47] Speaker B: that you have had sex with. Y' all have [00:17:50] Speaker A: till. That is not. [00:17:52] Speaker B: And then [00:17:52] Speaker A: you. You no [00:17:53] Speaker B: longer talk. That's not your friend. Tanisha is my friend. Hey, girl. [00:17:59] Speaker D: So [00:17:59] Speaker A: the definition of a friend is. [00:18:01] Speaker D: Google says a person whom you know well like and trust with whom you share a bond or mutual affection. And typically outside of family or romantic ties, [00:18:13] Speaker B: outside [00:18:14] Speaker A: that. That doesn't mean we have romantic ties now. But that's because we don't have romantic ties now. [00:18:22] Speaker B: I don't care. [00:18:24] Speaker A: Outside of romantic ties, we don't have romantic times. Y' all had went [00:18:28] Speaker B: together, [00:18:29] Speaker A: huh? [00:18:29] Speaker B: Y' all had went together. [00:18:30] Speaker A: So what? Y' [00:18:31] Speaker B: all was together then. That's [00:18:33] Speaker A: a past relationship. [00:18:34] Speaker B: It's not your friend. [00:18:35] Speaker A: Some of y' all friends treat you worse than some of y' all exes. So what are you talking about? [00:18:39] Speaker C: I don't have a whole lot of exes. I don't know. [00:18:42] Speaker A: I'm just saying, right or wrong, [00:18:45] Speaker D: I have to agree with you on that. [00:18:48] Speaker B: I don't [00:18:49] Speaker A: know. You. You. You could sit. You consider this girl your friend. At any moment, she could do anything to you. And your. And your ex who. Who might be your friend, you don't call him up. You. You. If you got financial problems. [00:19:02] Speaker D: 2:00 clock in the morning, they coming. [00:19:04] Speaker A: Yeah, you. If you. If you call him, your car done broke down. And. And this, that, and the third. He coming. [00:19:09] Speaker D: He coming. [00:19:09] Speaker B: And so are my friends. [00:19:11] Speaker A: Shoot. Some of y' all friends ain't even. Some of y' all friends can't even. You can't even. But [00:19:15] Speaker D: you can't. But I'm gonna tell you something, and I'm gonna be honest with you. I have a problem. If my old lady friend called her at 2 o' clock in the morning saying my car broke down. Cause the first thing I'm gonna say is, what about a Jim Jim, right? All them other people. Like, you can't. Like, you better be last. Last, last, last. Like [00:19:35] Speaker B: on the list. [00:19:36] Speaker D: You couldn't find [00:19:37] Speaker B: nobody else. Like, it was nobody else. It was either me or Jesus. That was it. That either I'mma call her or I'm just going to sit here and pray. Like, which one? [00:19:45] Speaker D: Do both. That's [00:19:47] Speaker B: it, [00:19:47] Speaker D: cuz my old lady ain't coming or we coming together. [00:19:49] Speaker B: Yeah, [00:19:51] Speaker A: but that's. But that's fine. Like, if you go. If I don't mind that, like, I would be out same situation if that was to happen. If one of my female friends called me late, whatever, I would answer the phone. I'm stuck here. Da, da, da. First thing I'm gonna say is, all right, cool, I'm on the way. Hey, why you. [00:20:09] Speaker B: While you're in a relationship. Hold [00:20:11] Speaker A: on now. Hold on now. Hey, I'm about to come pick you up. My homegirl stuck on the side of the road, we about to go help her out. [00:20:16] Speaker D: Okay, [00:20:17] Speaker B: that I can do. [00:20:18] Speaker A: That's. [00:20:18] Speaker D: I can't. I. That. See, yo, I'm gonna have to disagree with you. Cause why you calling me You. If you know I'm in a relationship, why you calling me? [00:20:25] Speaker B: Absolutely, I agree. And why you call. Like, why you calling me? Now? You got a whole. You got [00:20:30] Speaker D: a whole contest. My cousins could call me, [00:20:32] Speaker B: right? You got a whole contact. But [00:20:34] Speaker D: you can't. You cannot call a female friend. Cannot. You cannot [00:20:37] Speaker A: say. Let's. Let's say. Let's say I was the last call. Now, I was the last call. I was the last call. [00:20:45] Speaker B: Chanel said, I ain't answering. [00:20:47] Speaker D: But you know what I mean, I get it. [00:20:51] Speaker A: If this is. If this. Because I [00:20:52] Speaker D: get it. I get [00:20:53] Speaker A: it. I don't take cause for me. I don't take the term friend loosely. If I consider you a friend, that means I'm dropping what I'm doing and I'm coming to do whatever. [00:21:02] Speaker D: So you're saying basically, the friend that called you already respect your relationship [00:21:08] Speaker A: enough to have exhausted their other exhaust. Any. Any. Any person who knows me knows that, knows that Yoshi gonna show up. If for nothing else, Yo's gonna show up. [00:21:18] Speaker D: Okay? [00:21:18] Speaker A: All right. He gonna be there. Whether he got it or he don't, or whether he can make it or he not. He gonna figure out a way till all my friends notice. And some of my friends say that is my fault. That's one of my fatal flaws, is I'mma make it happen. So at the end of the day, if you. If you are in a bind. And I'm the call you made. That means my friends know, hey, they've checked out this, this, this, this, and this, and that didn't work out. I know Yo's gonna show up. I don't wanna wake him up. I know he got a girl. I don't wanna do that, but. Okay, cool. Let me go ahead and do that. And that's when I show up. Whether it's the opposite sex or the same sex, I'm gonna show up for my friends. And I think that the problem is the people that have issues with some of them having a friend of the opposite sex is their mate. That friend stuff is a loose word to them. [00:22:11] Speaker D: But Yoshi, then you become. You become the. You become the first call instead. It's like, why go through my phone list if I. [00:22:20] Speaker A: If I was sitting out now? In this scenario. In the scenario, we're saying I'm, you know, I'm in a relationship. [00:22:25] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:22:26] Speaker A: Single. [00:22:27] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:22:28] Speaker A: No, You. You call me first if you want to. But in the scenario of a relationship, my friends will respect my relationship first. [00:22:39] Speaker D: Okay. [00:22:39] Speaker A: My female friends, because I think friends. I only have maybe three or four female friends. [00:22:44] Speaker D: Okay. [00:22:46] Speaker A: That if they call, it's like, on. I'm gonna go. It is what it is. And I just think that most people don't set up the boundaries and say and. And have friends that respect when they're in a relationship. [00:23:02] Speaker B: That's. [00:23:02] Speaker A: They don't have friends that respect. The word [00:23:04] Speaker B: boundary for me is so huge. [00:23:06] Speaker A: Some of y' all women got. Your. Your girlfriends don't respect your relationship. [00:23:10] Speaker B: That's true. But [00:23:11] Speaker A: you know what you're talking about. [00:23:17] Speaker B: Huge for me. [00:23:18] Speaker A: You. But some of y' all got girls that don't respect y' all relationship. I [00:23:22] Speaker B: not arguing with you. Okay. [00:23:24] Speaker A: Thank [00:23:24] Speaker B: you. I'm agreeing with you. Calm down. [00:23:27] Speaker A: Thank you. I just need to know. [00:23:28] Speaker B: Yeah. I was not arguing. I said. When you said the word boundary, I was like, exactly. The word boundary for me is very important. I'm not disagreeing with you. I am. I mean, I am agreeing with you. [00:23:40] Speaker A: We're on the podcast, and I want you to agree with me, though. [00:23:42] Speaker B: Yeah. Fix your head. [00:23:43] Speaker A: We need to argue. [00:23:44] Speaker D: So I tell you. But the bound. I'm gonna just say this. The boundaries change weekly. The boundaries do change weekly. [00:23:53] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:23:54] Speaker D: On both sides for men and women. Because there's some things that I could have. I could do last month that I can't do no more. There's. I mean, it's. They change. So I think we need to come out once a month, send a group text and tell. [00:24:11] Speaker B: Not a group text. [00:24:12] Speaker D: That's a bit. But my friend, these are the things that I'm permitted to [00:24:16] Speaker A: do. [00:24:18] Speaker B: Don't nobody got time for that now. [00:24:22] Speaker C: Cut the [00:24:23] Speaker B: madness. [00:24:23] Speaker D: Nobody have [00:24:24] Speaker B: time for [00:24:24] Speaker D: that. But we talked about kind of hormonal. Somebody might not be in the best mood this month. I might need to. Hey bro, we can't go to Buffalo Wild Wings and watch the game this month. I gotta sit home and do some Lifetime movies. We're gonna put the matching pajamas on. We're gonna some. Oh, [00:24:44] Speaker B: he wear matching pajamas. [00:24:49] Speaker A: I don't know what this, I don't know what this foolishness is with matching pajamas. [00:24:54] Speaker B: Listen, [00:24:55] Speaker C: I'm putting this out there. If somebody wear matching pajamas with me, I promise you, we get married. [00:25:01] Speaker D: But Yoshi, I told you, [00:25:02] Speaker B: boom. [00:25:03] Speaker D: I share my location even though I don' want to. [00:25:05] Speaker A: I'm not wearing matching anything. [00:25:08] Speaker C: You're so. [00:25:09] Speaker A: I'm not wearing matching anything anywhere. I don't care where it is. [00:25:14] Speaker D: But, but I'mma tell you. Y you know the cool thing, the cool thing about, you know, the podcast, the Internet and Facebook is this is time stamped. [00:25:22] Speaker A: I know. You go back to it. You can go back to it. I we. We've [00:25:28] Speaker D: put a Pepsi Cola on [00:25:29] Speaker A: it. We we. I put a pepsi on it. [00:25:31] Speaker D: 20 Pepsi [00:25:31] Speaker A: BE Pen. 20 ounce Pepsi. [00:25:34] Speaker D: 20 ounces [00:25:36] Speaker A: MO Black. Yoshi, what's your boundaries? Can your partner have several guy friends? Can those guy friends call your partner at 2am for a ride from the airport? Yes. Yes. [00:25:49] Speaker D: Huh. So they ain't got no text. So Uber wasn't an option. [00:25:55] Speaker A: They if. [00:25:57] Speaker B: Listen, sometime you can be too accessible to people. [00:26:02] Speaker A: Sometimes you can be too What? [00:26:04] Speaker B: Sometimes you can be too accessible to people. I'm sorry [00:26:07] Speaker A: if this is your friend. [00:26:09] Speaker B: I don't care. Sometimes [00:26:10] Speaker A: you can be too accessible. Can I get the question out? [00:26:14] Speaker B: Jesus. [00:26:15] Speaker A: Can I get the question out? [00:26:16] Speaker B: Go ahead. [00:26:17] Speaker A: If this is what you call a friend. If. I'm not even gonna put no ifs on it or whatever. But this is your friend, right? Uh huh. And your friend. Apparently there is a reason why they are calling you to come get them. Yes, it is a fact. At two in the morning. Nope. There was no. Because they want no. Yes [00:26:36] Speaker B: it is. [00:26:36] Speaker A: Huh. [00:26:37] Speaker B: Go ahead. [00:26:38] Speaker A: Because I'm give you, I'm gonna give you a solid example. But not being able to get a taxi or get a ride late at night. I was, I, I me and my kids rode the train into New York a few months ago. We Got there like one o' clock in the morning. I could not get a Uber or a yellow cab. It's funny how New York does shut down. Like my damn life. Not a yellow cab anymore. I'm outside a Penn Station, Penn Station, standing there and my son. I got my crutches. Not a yellow cab came by Ubers. I'm looking for and I couldn't get it. So, yes, it can happen. [00:27:15] Speaker D: It can. [00:27:15] Speaker A: In New York. Yes, it can happen. So [00:27:17] Speaker D: New York does shut down [00:27:18] Speaker A: at the end of the day. Yes, she can. Why? You want to know why? Because you look like [00:27:25] Speaker B: you wanted to. [00:27:25] Speaker A: No, because I'm secure at the end of the day. I've said on the show a million times there's words that I. That I live by. My grandmother said this to me. She said if a person is going to leave, they were always going to leave. The question was how long they were going to stay. That's [00:27:42] Speaker D: a [00:27:42] Speaker A: fact. And what lesson that you was going to learn. [00:27:44] Speaker D: That's a fact. [00:27:44] Speaker A: That's it. So if she wants. If that's her friend and she got to go pick him up, cool. If she do some. If she f off, cool, I'm out. [00:27:56] Speaker D: Yeah, [00:27:56] Speaker A: that's on her. That ain't on me. She ain't gonna find another me. [00:27:59] Speaker B: So my question to you is, every time. Cause you've had all these friends and you've done all these things, have these. Do you think you would still be a good friend to somebody because you tell them? No. Because I feel like anytime somebody calls you and asks you, you're going to say, yep. Do you think at one point, is that. Is that person being a good friend to you? Because I feel like they're starting to drain you at some point. [00:28:23] Speaker A: Because they call [00:28:24] Speaker B: you every time. Every time some. One of your friends has an issue, they always call you. To me, that's draining. And to me, [00:28:32] Speaker A: that's not a friend. Can I answer? [00:28:33] Speaker B: Sure. [00:28:34] Speaker A: Okay. I said every time they call. I didn't say the frequency of the calls. [00:28:40] Speaker B: But you say every time. [00:28:41] Speaker A: Yes. Every time. Doesn't mean every time. Doesn't mean they call me once a week. [00:28:46] Speaker B: Every other month is still every time to me. [00:28:48] Speaker A: If. Even so, if it's every other month, I don't mind doing it. No. And if I. And if I have to. Because there's been times I've had to say no because I couldn't. Because I just couldn't. I'd be like, hey, hey, man, I. I can't. I can't today, though. It's not that I haven't said no. There's not that I haven't said no. But they know that I'm a reliable person if they. If they call on me. But they also know because they know I'm gonna show up. They usually try to figure it out for themselves because they know I'm gonna show up because they're my friend. [00:29:19] Speaker D: Do you screen calls, bro? [00:29:21] Speaker A: No, I answer every call. [00:29:23] Speaker B: Tanisha said, I'll pick my friend up at 2am Any friend, whether I'm the first option or the last. [00:29:31] Speaker D: Hey, man, she. [00:29:33] Speaker A: I'm just. But, but. But like I said, I just think it's all in how. [00:29:38] Speaker B: And I'm like that [00:29:39] Speaker A: as well. Because it's up to. I. I. Because my thing is now I do believe in no new friends. I do believe in no new friends. Now we're not going. If we had the friend off and we done. We done. [00:29:50] Speaker B: The friend off. [00:29:51] Speaker A: No, the friend off. We done sat down. Yeah, [00:29:53] Speaker D: you [00:29:53] Speaker A: got to. That's something people don't do. And [00:29:56] Speaker D: they should. [00:29:57] Speaker A: You're right. You're right. What people don't do. They don't. [00:30:00] Speaker B: Yes, we did. [00:30:01] Speaker A: They don't sit down and they don't talk about. Okay, you have any friends of the opposite sex? What are their names? How long have y' all been friends? Do y' all have a sexual history? Do you have a sexual past? These conversations aren't had between them until it becomes a problem. And now all of a sudden. Well, you didn't tell me. No, let's have this friend off. Let's. Let's have this. This powwow. And then let's even have. And then my thing is always, can you invite your friend to an outing with your lady? [00:30:29] Speaker B: Right? [00:30:29] Speaker A: Like is that. That's usually. Or. Or. Or with your man. That's usually a. A sign of. If you have something at the house. Shoot. Can you. Can you invite them? Can they. Are you inviting them to the house to have something? Yeah. You know what I'm saying? If you can't. That's not your friend, then that's. Then that's not your friend. All right, so now that we know. So then all of a sudden, now we. Ten months in, I know about Joe and Pooky and Nut Nuk and do and do dirty. I know about them. But now where the hell Chuck come from? [00:30:56] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:30:57] Speaker A: Who's Chuck? [00:30:58] Speaker C: I met him at the gas station. I was. I'm just kidding. [00:31:01] Speaker A: No, I'm just saying I don't know. No, Chuck. [00:31:04] Speaker D: Chuck wasn't Presented in the amnesty period. In the amnesty period. Chuck is not there. [00:31:09] Speaker C: Chuck's not there. But listen. He hit me [00:31:12] Speaker B: back [00:31:12] Speaker C: up after a while. So [00:31:14] Speaker B: now [00:31:14] Speaker C: it's my new friend. [00:31:16] Speaker D: So I tell you this. I've cut people off because. I'm talking about male friends. Had to cut off because I was in a relationship. And the reason I say that is because of certain conversations. I know that I. I don't need to have anymore. You [00:31:33] Speaker B: don't need to be. You don't need to be a part of that [00:31:35] Speaker D: Exactly. [00:31:36] Speaker B: Circus anymore. [00:31:37] Speaker D: And. And. And it's. It's no. It's no slight to them, but it's like, if I want this thing to progress further, I understand that. There's just certain conversations and certain surroundings. I just can't. You should not put yourself in. I shouldn't be. Yeah, you [00:31:53] Speaker C: just shouldn't. And I. I respect for that. You know what? You're pretty cool. For [00:31:59] Speaker D: right now. [00:32:00] Speaker C: For right now. [00:32:01] Speaker B: Until I feel like he pisses me [00:32:03] Speaker C: off and that. You [00:32:04] Speaker B: know. [00:32:04] Speaker D: Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. Right? Man. Chuck off the chain. Yeah. Yeah. [00:32:10] Speaker B: Hey, Riz. Not. Fuck. [00:32:15] Speaker A: No. I'm just saying, like, I. Go ahead. [00:32:19] Speaker B: But seriously, I feel like, like you said the whole 2am thing. If you are. And I'm asking the both of you, if you have a. A lady and you. Are you laying in the bed with them. It's two o' clock in the morning. What if y' all are in the middle of, you know. And your friend call you at 2 o' clock in the morning? Are you even gonna answer your phone? [00:32:43] Speaker A: No. No. That's what I'm saying. [00:32:47] Speaker B: You ain't even let me finish my question. Now [00:32:49] Speaker A: you gonna cut me out. Relax. I ain't cutting you off. [00:32:51] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:32:53] Speaker A: We might have to hurry up a little bit. I don't know what about. [00:32:56] Speaker D: Wow. [00:32:59] Speaker B: Now you. You Okay. [00:33:01] Speaker A: I mean, [00:33:04] Speaker B: before somebody pissed me off as soon as I said [00:33:08] Speaker A: you go 45 minutes instead of an hour. [00:33:10] Speaker B: How? [00:33:11] Speaker D: What? [00:33:12] Speaker B: Don't piss me up. [00:33:13] Speaker A: So you go 45 minutes instead of an hour. [00:33:15] Speaker D: You said four to five minutes. [00:33:16] Speaker A: 45 instead of an hour. [00:33:19] Speaker D: I ain't doing nothing for 45 minutes. Nothing. [00:33:22] Speaker A: What? [00:33:23] Speaker D: I'm not doing anything for 45 minutes. [00:33:25] Speaker A: I [00:33:25] Speaker D: don't even work for 45 continuous minutes. We. Hey, I'm surprised I lasted 35 minutes. I'm not doing anything. 45 minutes. Nothing. There's not nothing I'm doing for 45 minutes. I don't even play mad in that. [00:33:41] Speaker B: That is funny. Too. I [00:33:43] Speaker D: don't even sleep that long. I wake up and take breaks from sleep. [00:33:45] Speaker B: Red said they gotta wait. Absolutely. If you wanna. Come on. It's two o'clock in the morning. [00:33:51] Speaker D: Yoshi. That's wild. [00:33:52] Speaker A: Hey, I'm just saying. [00:33:54] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm not stopping. [00:33:57] Speaker A: Well, I mean, if it's good, you ain't gonna stop. Like you just gonna. First off, first off, my phone not. Well, let me say this. I retract my statement. Cause my phone usually ain't even near me anymore. [00:34:07] Speaker B: You gotta me off. [00:34:08] Speaker A: Yeah. Even near me. So I must. I must take my st. Well, [00:34:13] Speaker D: you got your apple watch on though. [00:34:15] Speaker A: N. I ain't got no watch. I don't want to check my heart rate. [00:34:18] Speaker B: You should, cuz you know you can burn. I kept [00:34:21] Speaker A: mine on my heart rate go burn out. I don't know what's going on. [00:34:24] Speaker D: You can really burn some [00:34:25] Speaker B: calories. Like you could really [00:34:27] Speaker D: burn some [00:34:28] Speaker B: calories [00:34:29] Speaker A: and then you'll know. I might need workout. I might need that. I heard, I heard it. I heard it's a workout. [00:34:33] Speaker B: That's a workout. You can check. You be like, okay, [00:34:36] Speaker A: I put on my sweat vest. I tell you that. That sweatsuit that's on the suit. Put that top on. You [00:34:44] Speaker B: know what? [00:34:45] Speaker A: When you live it up, all that water come out, [00:34:48] Speaker D: knocked you out here raining on people. [00:34:50] Speaker B: Yeah. Hell no. You are out of your. She say get on my nerve. Absolutely. And I pray she get up and walk out and block you and never call you back. Oh, now we on the [00:35:02] Speaker D: blocking. [00:35:03] Speaker A: Oh yeah, we blocking. See, why [00:35:05] Speaker B: would you do that? Immature. To block somebody. [00:35:08] Speaker A: Yes. Immature [00:35:10] Speaker B: how? If I want to talk to you no more. I don't want to talk to you. [00:35:14] Speaker A: You don't have to block. I want to talk to you. Don't answer. Don't. I don't even want [00:35:16] Speaker B: to see your face. Just [00:35:17] Speaker A: don't answer the phone. That's [00:35:18] Speaker B: what sunshine answers. Say, [00:35:19] Speaker A: don't answer the phone. [00:35:21] Speaker B: This is my phone though. [00:35:22] Speaker A: Don't answer it. [00:35:23] Speaker B: You know how you block people out? Like you feel like [00:35:26] Speaker A: just don't answer it. [00:35:27] Speaker B: And I'm just [00:35:28] Speaker A: going. If [00:35:28] Speaker B: I block, [00:35:29] Speaker A: then [00:35:29] Speaker B: I move on. [00:35:30] Speaker A: Don't answer it. [00:35:31] Speaker B: I don't want it. [00:35:33] Speaker A: Okay. I [00:35:33] Speaker D: don't want it to. [00:35:34] Speaker A: Put it on. Put it on vibrate. Mute the phone. [00:35:36] Speaker B: I don't want it to vibrate. I don't even want to see your name pop [00:35:40] Speaker A: up on [00:35:40] Speaker B: my phone. [00:35:41] Speaker A: Change the name in the [00:35:42] Speaker B: Tanisha. I'm sick of him already. Why you putting a sweat. [00:35:47] Speaker A: Hey, hey. Some of Us. [00:35:49] Speaker B: You put up [00:35:49] Speaker A: some of us can't get to the gym. Like that [00:35:51] Speaker B: sweat vest on somebody in the middle of that you deserve to be walked out [00:35:56] Speaker A: on. No, listen, it's like wearing a T shirt to do it. [00:35:59] Speaker D: It's too hard to be in shape and it takes too long. I'm already. I'm already in the shape I want to be. [00:36:06] Speaker B: She said I block someone if they ask too many questions. Me too. [00:36:10] Speaker D: Huh? Are you serious? [00:36:12] Speaker B: Yeah. And I block people for less. So [00:36:14] Speaker D: wait a minute now, when y' all go to have your. At one point in time you was in the job interview. Did you block them because they ask you a bunch of questions? [00:36:23] Speaker B: I don't know. I hadn't had a job interview in so long. [00:36:25] Speaker D: Well, I'm just saying. But even then. But [00:36:27] Speaker B: that's what they're supposed to. [00:36:28] Speaker D: And so your man can't ask you a bunch of questions. [00:36:31] Speaker B: But not. Of course I wouldn't block my man. But it's just some random dude. Yeah. [00:36:35] Speaker D: Oh, okay. [00:36:36] Speaker B: Yeah, [00:36:37] Speaker A: yeah. Y' [00:36:38] Speaker B: all understand My. My inbox is Yoshi Light skin and Tinder for that comment. Listen, my inbox be on swole, [00:36:46] Speaker D: so [00:36:46] Speaker B: I've had to block. Yes. [00:36:49] Speaker D: Do you ever go through and just look to see what people are saying? [00:36:54] Speaker B: Yeah, sometime like I scroll through, I'm like, what? Blah. I don't even open it. Like sometimes, you know, it's like you can't even. Sometimes I have it to where I open it, but they can't see I read it. [00:37:05] Speaker D: So I tell you this block. I'm gonna see what I mean. So my old lady will send me a, like, let's say she might screenshot something and send it to me and I'll be looking at it. I'm like 346 unread messages. Hey, man, who them? Who is that? Like, I. Yoshi, I can't stand a notification on my phone. I just. [00:37:28] Speaker B: Okay, me neither. I think it's my adult 80. I think I'm self diagnosed. People in [00:37:33] Speaker D: your inbox? [00:37:34] Speaker A: Yeah, like yes. No, she be reading them. That's why [00:37:39] Speaker B: you lying through. I'd be like, man. [00:37:44] Speaker A: Or you know what [00:37:44] Speaker B: I do? [00:37:45] Speaker A: Chanel, you know what I do for you? [00:37:47] Speaker B: Like I'll go to like Facebook and then type their name in to see what they look like and if they cute. I don't answer. [00:37:54] Speaker D: But it might be the bad. That might be a bad picture. No, [00:37:56] Speaker B: if all your pictures are bad, I'm [00:37:58] Speaker D: not [00:37:58] Speaker B: answering. [00:37:58] Speaker D: Well, a lot of you know what I'll say this There's a lot of people that take bad photos. And I am a person that I think I take good photos, but more or less say I do too much. [00:38:12] Speaker C: How you do too much in a photo. [00:38:14] Speaker D: So. So let's just say I got in trouble at this wedding. They were [00:38:18] Speaker C: interested. [00:38:19] Speaker D: I got in trouble at this wedding. So this girl was over there taking a picture, and she was just taking it. And I said, that picture ain't gonna turn out. I'll take it for you. I didn't even know the girl. And she was like, why are you taking a picture? I said, because she's got a shadow in the back. You could clearly see. You could clearly see the shadow. And I'm like, let's just turn this thing around. And what I'll do is I'll stand up in a chair and get different angles. Oh, yeah. He was doing too much. And. And I'm like, she just wanted a picture. Like, I don't know her. I'm leaving with you. She was like, nah. So women. I can't take nobody's picture. [00:38:53] Speaker B: So you know how to read Angel Hard. I am not hard. Oh, man. I'm not for real. [00:38:58] Speaker A: Riz, how you know what to read and what to read, what not to read, Angel? [00:39:02] Speaker B: Cause you can see it on the [00:39:04] Speaker A: same. Like, [00:39:04] Speaker B: I can see the message, and I'm [00:39:06] Speaker A: like, the message. If you open it. [00:39:09] Speaker B: No, but sometimes if it pop up, you [00:39:11] Speaker A: get with the first [00:39:12] Speaker B: few words. [00:39:14] Speaker A: You got the preview on your phone. [00:39:15] Speaker B: Like, the first [00:39:16] Speaker A: few words. [00:39:16] Speaker B: Like, I ain't opening [00:39:17] Speaker A: it. I don't even got notifications. I don't want nothing to pop up on my screen. [00:39:22] Speaker B: And especially if it just say, like, image. I know what that is. Just say image. I already know what that is. I ain't opening it. Cause the random dick pics in me, I'm like, bro, I didn't. Why are you doing that? I'm not opening it. [00:39:40] Speaker A: I think to this day, I find that to be one of the weirdest acts. [00:39:44] Speaker B: It's a weird. I don't get it. Just [00:39:48] Speaker A: like, to somebody you don't know. I [00:39:49] Speaker B: just got one on Snapchat today. I opened [00:39:51] Speaker A: it. I was like, random. [00:39:52] Speaker B: Why would you do that? [00:39:54] Speaker A: Well, okay. Well. Well, how random is it if this person. This person has to be your. You have to either be following them or they following you. They [00:40:01] Speaker B: follow me. [00:40:02] Speaker A: Yeah. So. I mean, so, yeah. No, [00:40:04] Speaker B: I was like, that's so weird. Why would you do that? But, yeah, I can like, [00:40:10] Speaker A: oh, Chanel, Chanel, we not trying to double team Her. Oh, no. [00:40:13] Speaker D: Okay. Oh, no. [00:40:14] Speaker B: I'm actually agreeing with Vic over here. More so than you know who. [00:40:18] Speaker A: Wait, hold on. Who is you know who? Okay, Exactly. You see [00:40:23] Speaker C: how you can. [00:40:24] Speaker B: How you can. [00:40:25] Speaker D: I don't wanna see the image. [00:40:27] Speaker B: No, not [00:40:28] Speaker C: an image. [00:40:32] Speaker D: That image. Not [00:40:33] Speaker B: an image. [00:40:36] Speaker A: Hi, [00:40:36] Speaker B: Jason. [00:40:37] Speaker A: Actually, you can preview any inbox if you just hold the message down. [00:40:41] Speaker D: Oh, really? [00:40:42] Speaker B: Right. [00:40:43] Speaker D: Wow. Okay. [00:40:45] Speaker B: Right. And then look like you can see, like, the first few words. Like, you can see it on [00:40:49] Speaker D: here. And [00:40:50] Speaker B: then I see it. I'm like, oh, I ain't answered that. That's dumb. Did you get ready to say something stupid? [00:40:54] Speaker A: Oh, God. [00:40:55] Speaker B: Testify. Say, send me a pic of you n you on Facebook. You can click on my picture and go. As soon as I say, this is somebody say, oh, send me some pictures of you. He was like, send me some pictures that I haven't seen of you. I said, send me some money that I hadn't seen of yours. [00:41:15] Speaker D: Wow. [00:41:16] Speaker B: Now. So now that's a problem. [00:41:18] Speaker A: Get out of here. I kind of saw that coming. [00:41:20] Speaker B: Right? Get out of here. So [00:41:21] Speaker D: I'm gonna ask you this. You talking about pictures? What about if. Let's just say your man got you as his screensaver, right? On his phone. [00:41:30] Speaker B: I was a screensaver before, [00:41:32] Speaker D: so I'm just saying. Yeah, I mean, people do that. And then I [00:41:35] Speaker B: was a [00:41:36] Speaker A: screensaver. Where are these people? [00:41:38] Speaker D: Well, I got my pops, but I'm just saying. [00:41:40] Speaker A: Okay, [00:41:41] Speaker B: but I was my [00:41:42] Speaker C: ex's [00:41:43] Speaker B: screensaver before on his phone, [00:41:44] Speaker D: and, you know, that's a legit thing. And let's just say y' all get an argument and he take your. He. He go to a picture of something else. How would you feel? [00:41:55] Speaker C: What do you mean? Go through a picture of something else, [00:41:56] Speaker D: like a flower or. I mean, I don't know anything. He [00:41:59] Speaker A: get mad. [00:42:00] Speaker D: Not another woman. [00:42:02] Speaker B: He would switch it up everywhere. Like, I would switch mine up. Like, sometime would be us. And [00:42:06] Speaker C: I, [00:42:06] Speaker B: like, switch it up to my favorite parachute or something. Like, it's. It ain't that deep. Oh, [00:42:12] Speaker D: okay. [00:42:12] Speaker B: It's really not [00:42:13] Speaker D: okay. [00:42:14] Speaker A: Oh, no. Tanisha. I [00:42:16] Speaker B: always send them a money request. That'll shut them up. Every time. Every [00:42:19] Speaker D: time. What's up with the money and men? Men and money. I know they both start with M's, but Why do y'. All. Why do some women feel like a man is their personal pocketbook? [00:42:33] Speaker B: You mean a man that I'm dating? [00:42:35] Speaker D: Yes. [00:42:36] Speaker B: I don't feel like he's my personal pocketbook, but I feel like if I am with you, And I am supplying all your needs. Why you can't supply mine? [00:42:45] Speaker D: What [00:42:45] Speaker A: need are you supplying? What need are you supplying? Please tell me. Because it's free. God gave it to you. [00:42:53] Speaker D: It is. It is. It's [00:42:54] Speaker B: free to me. [00:42:55] Speaker A: God gave it, not [00:42:56] Speaker B: you. [00:42:57] Speaker A: And. And yours has no more value than mine. Because once mine. Once mine is done, it's over. [00:43:03] Speaker D: I found, to be honest with you, my knees has changed now. My feet hurt. [00:43:07] Speaker C: Everybody. [00:43:07] Speaker D: My back hurt. [00:43:09] Speaker B: I just got out of a boot two weeks ago. [00:43:11] Speaker D: And I'm just saying I don't need that. Yeah, I need some. I just got [00:43:15] Speaker B: out of. Absolutely. That's why when you asked me about the whole relationship thing, I was like. That's why I said, I'm peaceful at home. I think I've been single for so long, and I don't want to share my space. And it's like, I like. I like. My bathroom count has got makeup, maybe a wig over here. Maybe stuff over here. Like, I like it. It's a little messy, but I know where everything is, and I'm cool with it. I don't want to feel like, dang, I got to clean up or just cooking. Like, some days I want to cook, I don't want to. But now I got to get a husband. Now I got like, dang. Hey, babe. Hey, honey. What you want for dinner today? I don't want to do that no more. I. I'm over [00:43:55] Speaker A: that. I don't want to do it. Your situation is different than other people. No, [00:43:59] Speaker B: I just don't want to do it in general. Like, I don't want to feel like I have to, because [00:44:04] Speaker A: I understand why you don't want to do it. [00:44:05] Speaker B: I don't want to do it. [00:44:07] Speaker D: Wait a minute, Tanisha. Why. But if you got a man, you should never be [00:44:11] Speaker B: broke. [00:44:11] Speaker D: My [00:44:12] Speaker B: grandma said, if you got a vagina, you should never be broke. That my grandma say. And she never [00:44:17] Speaker A: was, [00:44:18] Speaker B: and she never was. And [00:44:20] Speaker A: we going off. Grandma grew up in a different time, [00:44:23] Speaker B: and she never was. [00:44:25] Speaker A: And granddaddy also had two other wives, [00:44:28] Speaker B: and she never was. [00:44:29] Speaker A: I'm just saying. I'm [00:44:31] Speaker B: just saying, [00:44:32] Speaker A: y' all be using that. Like, if you got this, then you touch and such. So basically what grandma say is, [00:44:39] Speaker B: neither one of my grandmothers were never broke. [00:44:42] Speaker D: But are you devaluing yourself? Like, what else you bring to the table over this? [00:44:47] Speaker B: What else you bring to the table? [00:44:49] Speaker D: I mean, I don't. I bring a bad feet, bad back. Okay, all of that. That's what I'm bringing now. I can't fix the table because [00:44:58] Speaker C: the minute we say, okay, I'm kind of like, oh, I don't feel like it today, and then next [00:45:03] Speaker D: week and [00:45:04] Speaker C: oh, I don't feel like it next [00:45:05] Speaker A: week [00:45:05] Speaker B: and then [00:45:06] Speaker C: two weeks, oh, okay. [00:45:07] Speaker D: I'm cool. Because eventually, if them one and two and three and four in five weeks turn into one, two, three, four, five months, you gonna be saying that to yourself. Yeah. I'm not gonna argue with you about your stuff. [00:45:20] Speaker C: I got. [00:45:21] Speaker D: I can't rolls. [00:45:22] Speaker A: Definitely not gonna argue with you. You [00:45:24] Speaker D: be [00:45:24] Speaker A: there by [00:45:24] Speaker D: yourself. Yeah, I ain't gonna say if I. And that's the thing. I'm not gonna sit here and talk nobody out of their clothes. I mean, unless you really want me to. But if we in a relationship, it's got to be a mutual understanding. There gonna be some things that I just don't feel like doing. [00:45:40] Speaker B: Absolutely. Everybody has the right. Sometimes I don't feel like it today, and sometimes you may not feel like it's okay. [00:45:46] Speaker D: But we can't turn down deep. We can't turn y' all down. [00:45:49] Speaker A: I know I can't. [00:45:50] Speaker B: I don't know. I've never been turned down, so. I don't know [00:45:52] Speaker D: what that feels [00:45:53] Speaker B: like. I don't know what that feels like. [00:45:56] Speaker A: A man with money has never asked me what I bring to the table. What [00:46:01] Speaker B: it. [00:46:02] Speaker D: Well, I mean. Hey, she ain't lying. What's money? [00:46:07] Speaker B: That is a. I [00:46:11] Speaker A: understand that a man with. To a man with money, you're nothing more than another possession. [00:46:16] Speaker D: But. So I don't think people understand what money is exactly. Money. Money is different. A man. A man that makes. A man that makes 150. 000 a year with 145. 000 worth of debt. He ain't got no money, [00:46:31] Speaker A: but [00:46:31] Speaker D: a man. [00:46:32] Speaker B: So then that. So then that ain't what she talking about. [00:46:35] Speaker D: But. But no, that's. I don't. What then [00:46:37] Speaker B: we don't consider that money. Go ahead. [00:46:39] Speaker A: No, no. Because. No. Y' all don't know whether he got money or not. Yeah. You said if you don't consider that money. What he's meaning by debt is this person got credit cards. What he spent spending on you is through credit, not through cash. He ain't walking in that second drop cash on anything. [00:46:53] Speaker B: That's on you. [00:46:54] Speaker D: But you. But you. [00:46:56] Speaker B: That's. That's most definitely on you. If. And, and me, if I'm in a relationship, I don't ever ask a man for anything like it is my last Resort. Like, even when I was married, I didn't ask my ex husband for anything. [00:47:10] Speaker A: So then [00:47:11] Speaker B: he would say, hey, you good for the mom? Like, oh, I might need such. Even my ex boyfriend. I didn't ask him. If I asked and you knew I really, really needed it, [00:47:20] Speaker D: I ain't asking. [00:47:21] Speaker A: But then. But then. But that's the thing, though. Like, my question is, if that's the. If that's the case, if that's how you feel, then why is money even in the equation of anything that you're [00:47:30] Speaker D: talking about? Equation? [00:47:31] Speaker A: If that's how you feel that you're not gonna ask nobody for nothing. [00:47:34] Speaker B: Only date generous men. Just because they have money doesn't mean they will share. Absolutely. I do. I do tend to go on date with. Like, they're very. She's about. I ask [00:47:44] Speaker D: like, [00:47:44] Speaker B: they're generous. Like, I don't go on no date. Be like, hey, I went somewhere. Bought me a purse and pair of shoes. That was our first date. I'm like, thanks. Did not ask. I was gonna purchase it myself. I put it on the counter. I picked out my car to pay for it because it was our very first date. But, [00:48:04] Speaker D: you know, [00:48:06] Speaker A: that's a strategic date. [00:48:07] Speaker D: Yeah. Expectations come with that. [00:48:09] Speaker A: We were [00:48:10] Speaker B: at a mall. Dang. You can't go to a mall [00:48:14] Speaker A: on a date. [00:48:15] Speaker B: Yes. [00:48:16] Speaker A: Y' all was going to the food. Courtney. [00:48:18] Speaker B: No, actually, it wasn't [00:48:20] Speaker A: about. It was. [00:48:22] Speaker B: It was the. The outlet. [00:48:24] Speaker D: Tanger. [00:48:25] Speaker B: Yeah, it was Tanger. We met there. He lives in another part of South Carolina. Then live. That was a mutual spot. We met there. He made reservations at a restaurant there. We got there a little early, so I'm like, let's walk around the outlets a little. I was like, I'm gonna run in this store because I heard it got a sale [00:48:47] Speaker A: every. [00:48:47] Speaker B: Women love sales. [00:48:48] Speaker D: So you gonna. [00:48:49] Speaker B: So I walked in there. He was like, all right, I'm gonna go in this store over here. We can meet back up here. Cool. [00:48:56] Speaker A: I'm [00:48:56] Speaker B: in the store getting what I need to get. He walks in. It was like. I was like, that was quick. He got. He already had his bag of what he purchased from the store that he went to. I was like, I'm good. I put my stuff on the counter. He comes behind me. I'm getting ready to swipe my car. And he was like, no. And swipe his. I was like, why did you do that? [00:49:16] Speaker A: I'd have been like, that's cute. [00:49:19] Speaker D: Swiping something else after this damn meal. What was it? The King's Light the King's Motel for a purse [00:49:28] Speaker B: and a pair of shoes. [00:49:30] Speaker D: That's wild. And a meal. [00:49:32] Speaker B: That is wild. But you invited me. You asked to take. He asked to take me out on a date. [00:49:38] Speaker A: So now because you [00:49:39] Speaker B: invite me, I got. That's wild, y'. All. Wait. [00:49:42] Speaker D: No. You can say. No, [00:49:43] Speaker A: you could say. You could have said when he. When he offered to pay for your belly. [00:49:46] Speaker B: I was like, no. I said, well, I did. I was like, I got it. He was like, no. Like, [00:49:52] Speaker A: then you. If. If it. [00:49:56] Speaker B: If it would. So don't say it bothered me, because it didn't. It was generous. [00:50:01] Speaker A: Exactly. So I was like, oh, [00:50:02] Speaker B: thank you. [00:50:03] Speaker A: That was nice. No, because there's a lot of women. [00:50:06] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:50:06] Speaker A: Who would have been like, no, you good. I'll pay for it. I [00:50:10] Speaker B: said it. [00:50:11] Speaker A: No, no, no. But you still allow him to pay for it. [00:50:13] Speaker B: And he was [00:50:14] Speaker A: like, no. You still allowed him to pay for [00:50:16] Speaker B: it? He was like, no, listen. [00:50:17] Speaker A: Still allowed him to pay for it. [00:50:19] Speaker B: You with me? You [00:50:20] Speaker A: good? Got it. I'm like, [00:50:21] Speaker B: okay. [00:50:22] Speaker A: You hit him with the Jedi mind trick. [00:50:23] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:50:23] Speaker B: What was the Jedi mind trick? [00:50:25] Speaker A: Oh, no, you don't have to. [00:50:28] Speaker B: First of [00:50:28] Speaker D: all, looking at a. First of [00:50:31] Speaker B: all, he was in a store getting what [00:50:34] Speaker D: he was going to get, [00:50:35] Speaker A: so [00:50:36] Speaker B: he can't. He. First of all, he didn't have to come in there where I was. [00:50:39] Speaker D: That's fact. [00:50:40] Speaker B: He was shopping. Where he want to shop. I was shopping where I wanted to. [00:50:43] Speaker A: Let me say this. You said that already. [00:50:45] Speaker B: Okay, [00:50:46] Speaker A: okay. We didn't have to repeat that part. What I'm saying, it ain't [00:50:49] Speaker B: tricking if you got it. [00:50:50] Speaker A: Yeah. What I'm saying is. I didn't say he. I didn't say he was. Okay. What I'm saying is. Yes, he came into the store. [00:50:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:50:57] Speaker A: Okay. That does not mean that he had to pay for it. [00:51:04] Speaker B: I never [00:51:04] Speaker A: said that. Hold on. I didn't say you did. What you're saying is he insisted on paying for it. [00:51:11] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:51:12] Speaker A: You allowed that behavior. [00:51:15] Speaker C: Okay. And [00:51:17] Speaker A: so that means you wanted him to do it. [00:51:19] Speaker B: I really didn't want to, but if you insist. All right, cool. I ain't gonna argue. [00:51:22] Speaker A: No. Then you wanted him to do it. I'm [00:51:23] Speaker B: not getting ready to argue with you about spending no money. If you wanna spend, then do it. [00:51:27] Speaker A: Exactly my point. Thank you very much. Now, [00:51:28] Speaker B: if you wanna do it, then, but [00:51:29] Speaker D: then don't argue with me when I ask you for something else later on. It's no argument. [00:51:34] Speaker B: But why is a purse and a pair of shoes [00:51:38] Speaker A: how much did he spend? [00:51:39] Speaker D: Scroll back up to that. Transactional. [00:51:42] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There [00:51:43] Speaker D: you go. It's transactional. I [00:51:45] Speaker A: don't know where we. [00:51:46] Speaker D: First [00:51:46] Speaker B: of all, if somebody is being generous. Nobody's being generous. To call you [00:51:51] Speaker A: at 2:00am and pick you up [00:51:52] Speaker B: from the host from 2:00 clock in the morning, that's generous. [00:51:59] Speaker A: That don't take no money. [00:52:01] Speaker B: It take gas, nigga. It ain't free. Your car run on air. That's generous. [00:52:07] Speaker A: How was that? [00:52:08] Speaker B: Oh, no. Oh, no. Take a Uber. Oh, no, I'll come get you. Oh, no, I can. Oh, no, I'll come get. You know, I could have took a Uber. She [00:52:18] Speaker D: had that one in the jail. [00:52:20] Speaker A: No, no, because. Okay, so we want to be generous. That was generous. Apples and oranges, though. [00:52:25] Speaker B: No. Oh, to you. [00:52:26] Speaker A: No, it's apples and oranges. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. So we [00:52:30] Speaker B: gotta. [00:52:31] Speaker A: No. So it's different. What you feel is generous. You cannot move whatever. You cannot move the goal post because you're saying [00:52:36] Speaker B: whatever. I'm [00:52:37] Speaker A: talking about a friend in me. You were not in need. You were in need of nothing. [00:52:42] Speaker B: How do you know that? [00:52:43] Speaker A: Oh. Oh, Lord. You [00:52:44] Speaker D: needed a purse. [00:52:45] Speaker B: I did. [00:52:46] Speaker A: But you said you was gonna pay for [00:52:48] Speaker B: it. I was so. I was in need of it. That's why I was buying it. Cause I was in need of it. [00:52:52] Speaker D: Did you? All right, so did you. Did you offer to pay him back? [00:52:56] Speaker B: I did. For real? Oh, [00:52:57] Speaker D: okay. You [00:52:58] Speaker A: paid him back? I [00:52:58] Speaker B: did. [00:52:59] Speaker A: Did you pay him back? [00:52:59] Speaker B: No. Cause he wouldn't [00:53:00] Speaker A: let me. All right, then. [00:53:02] Speaker B: All right. He [00:53:03] Speaker A: wouldn't let me. He wouldn't let me. That's our turn. [00:53:06] Speaker B: And also, when I tried, he said to him, that's insulting. So I said, okay. [00:53:12] Speaker D: Whatever that kind of is. [00:53:14] Speaker B: So I said, okay. So what do you want me to do? [00:53:16] Speaker A: Insult me. [00:53:17] Speaker B: Angel know that wagon and that face, man, trying to drop the bag on whatever she want. Don't do that, Cody. [00:53:23] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:53:23] Speaker B: Don't do that. [00:53:24] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:53:25] Speaker B: Do not even do that. [00:53:26] Speaker A: Listen, anyway, Vic. [00:53:28] Speaker D: Yup. [00:53:28] Speaker A: Thanks again for being on you. [00:53:30] Speaker D: Always. I loved it. Thank you. Thank y'. All. [00:53:32] Speaker A: I appreciate it. Angel. [00:53:35] Speaker B: Last week, you caught. You gave me a nickname. Do it again. What you call me. [00:53:41] Speaker D: Oh, [00:53:41] Speaker A: I have no clue. [00:53:42] Speaker D: You're on the spot. [00:53:43] Speaker B: God, [00:53:44] Speaker D: you're [00:53:44] Speaker B: so whack for that. [00:53:45] Speaker A: I have no clue [00:53:46] Speaker B: why you call me a goddess. Not even a goddess. [00:53:48] Speaker A: I called you a goddess last week. What was I drinking? All right. [00:53:53] Speaker B: Oh, okay. Okay. [00:53:56] Speaker A: Let's go. [00:53:56] Speaker B: That's cool. Hey, [00:53:58] Speaker A: y'. All. [00:53:58] Speaker B: Generous. Men are my favorite. Mine, too. [00:54:02] Speaker A: Thank y' all for tapping in. And here's my final word. Yes, men and women can be friends while they're in a committed relationship. But everybody calling themselves your friend ain't rooting for your relationship. Some of them are just sitting on the bench waiting for the coach to put them in [00:54:15] Speaker D: facts. [00:54:16] Speaker A: And some of y' all know exactly who's waiting. You just. You just like the attention. He's like a brother to me. Okay, but does he know y'? All? Does he know y' all related? Because y' all talking about. Y' all talking family reunion and he's planning a honeymoon. The real conversation is about behavior. Can your partner meet this friend? Can you establish boundaries without your friend being territorial? Can you hear your partner's concern without immediately calling them insecure? And to the jealous partner, every uncomfortable feeling isn't proof of wrongdoing. You've got to explain what happened and what bothered you. You can't put somebody's entire social life on probation because somebody cheated on you in 27 in 2007. But if you're deleting messages, hiding meetups, or telling your friend everything wrong with your partner while giving your partner nothing to work with, you're helping create the distrust you keep complaining about. Have your friendships, have your independence, and have enough respect to agree on boundaries you're both willing to follow. Because we're just friends. Explains the title. It doesn't excuse the behavior. And that's my final word from the Relationship Status podcast. [00:55:24] Speaker C: Hey, [00:55:25] Speaker A: hey, y'. All. Hey, don't forget the YouTube channel. We're on the road to 500. Please hit it up by December 1st. Throw it up. Make sure you send us all the way up. Join the Patreon 199amonth. You can catch all the back scenes, behind the scenes stuff. Patreon.com backslash relationship status. You sign up this month, get a free T shirt. Why not just 199amonth? You spend more than that. You spent more than that on gas today. Also, the link is in the comments. The link is in the comments. Go to the last episode that aired yesterday on YouTube. And if you're just joining us and missed any part of this show, remember you can. And you're at work and you're in the car and you need to ride. You can't watch anything. Remember, this episode will be on all podcast platforms first thing Tomorrow morning at 7am on your ride to work. Rock with us until the next time, y'. All. It's Relationship Status with my boy Vic and my homegirl angel, and we are gone. [00:56:17] Speaker C: Bye.