259th Date: We Gonna Get You A Date!

[00:00:00] Speaker A: You was crawling like a cat. [00:00:02] Speaker B: No, bitch bark like a. [00:00:07] Speaker A: Come on. [00:00:08] Speaker B: Okay, so I put on this white lace lingerie piece. I was so excited about it. And I remember I walked out the bathroom, you know, with that odd in the rule. This motherfucker said, the fuck you got on? I felt, man, that shit look like it itch. [00:00:45] Speaker C: Welcome back to relationship Status. It's your boy Yousef in the building and I'm here with Vee. She's always there. [00:00:54] Speaker B: I love that intro. Hey, y', all, it's and Mimi. [00:00:58] Speaker A: And I'm Shay, the tag along from. [00:01:01] Speaker C: V. The tag along. [00:01:03] Speaker B: Not a tag. [00:01:03] Speaker C: Nah, not a tag along, Not a tag along. [00:01:12] Speaker A: That's what friends are for. [00:01:14] Speaker B: Yeah. All on camera. [00:01:16] Speaker C: All on camera. So how was your week? [00:01:21] Speaker B: I had a good week, actually. I've been in a very. Oddly. Because it's actually time for my period. But see. [00:01:30] Speaker C: Go ahead. [00:01:31] Speaker B: I've had a good week and usually like when it's within anywhere from seven to four days, my period time, my attitude gets really bad. But it's actually my attitude has been good. I haven't been very emotional this week. I just been feeling. I've been feeling good. [00:01:49] Speaker A: I think cuz maybe I came up here to see you and I rubbed that good energy. Cuz I don't have a period anymore. Period been gone how long? It's period conversation. [00:02:02] Speaker B: You okay? Last question about periods. [00:02:04] Speaker A: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. [00:02:05] Speaker B: You. [00:02:05] Speaker C: Hey, listen, I'm. Don't. Don't mind me. I'm just here. [00:02:09] Speaker B: Wait a minute. How, how. When's your last period? [00:02:12] Speaker A: About seven, eight years ago. It just stopped out of nowhere. You think I'm looking for it? [00:02:20] Speaker B: I thought you wanted to have another kid. But I still have a period. [00:02:25] Speaker A: So when you have yours, I adopt it. [00:02:28] Speaker B: I wish that I'm a good girl. The world would never know. [00:02:31] Speaker C: The world will never know. [00:02:32] Speaker B: The only thing Shea gonna get is, hey, fly out in the morning. I just need you to drive me back from the goddamn clinic. Already got the room, already got the hotel. Just drive me back. [00:02:42] Speaker A: I will not be a part of that. Not from the old woman. [00:02:46] Speaker B: What I'm doing, what I'm gonna do. Having a baby. What I'm gonna do now. [00:02:49] Speaker A: Have it on your hip. [00:02:51] Speaker B: Good luck. [00:02:52] Speaker A: They was tossing biscuits. [00:02:56] Speaker B: Eating your biscuits. They were eating biscuits. You know what? I'm just gonna put them biscuits in. [00:03:00] Speaker C: The oven, save them and just save them. [00:03:02] Speaker B: Yeah. Cause no babies. But yes, I still have a period. And oddly, I've had a very good week. Although it is time for my period. So I'm. I'm very proud of that, man. [00:03:12] Speaker C: That's good. That's good. Shouts out to you, though, in the business. [00:03:16] Speaker B: Period. [00:03:16] Speaker C: No, no, no, no. Got a chance to see you guys on the. Got a chance to watch you on the Food Network. On the Food Network. [00:03:24] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. [00:03:25] Speaker C: It was dope. It was dope. It was. It was a week ago now. [00:03:29] Speaker B: Almost. Not yet. Yeah, yeah, almost a week. [00:03:31] Speaker C: Almost a week. By the time they watch this episode, it'll be a week ago. [00:03:34] Speaker B: Okay. Sorry. [00:03:35] Speaker C: No, you good. Ain't up there. But. No, but it was. It. It was fun, like, watching it and going, okay, the food is good. That my homie. All right? [00:03:45] Speaker B: And then. [00:03:45] Speaker C: And then it got to the part where, spoiler alert. If you ain't watch it, if you ain't watching, shame on you. [00:03:50] Speaker B: Don't spoil it. Don't spoil it, because you can still watch it. You can still watch it. [00:03:55] Speaker C: No, I get. No, I get what you're saying. [00:03:56] Speaker B: No, no, no, I'm talking about you can still watch my episode. [00:03:59] Speaker C: Okay. [00:03:59] Speaker B: You can still watch. [00:04:01] Speaker C: Okay, Watch the episode. [00:04:02] Speaker B: Season 18, the Great Food Truck Race. Season 18, episode one. So you can see Eat my biscuits. You'll see me. [00:04:10] Speaker C: And now let me also say this on HBO, Max network, YouTube TV, if you doubt it. Like, I was on the way down here. My ex lives down here now. I referenced her in the last episode, but she lives down here now. [00:04:22] Speaker B: Okay. And. [00:04:25] Speaker C: Yeah, I was on the way down here, and I. And she was like, oh, you going to record? I was like, yeah. And she was like. I said, yo, if you get a chance, go buy. Eat your biscuits. And she was like. I said, you ever been? She was like, nah. I said, you. [00:04:37] Speaker B: My restaurant is eat. What? [00:04:39] Speaker C: Eat. Eat. Eat your. Eat my biscuits. [00:04:43] Speaker A: Shut up, Johnny Gill. [00:04:44] Speaker C: I'm not saying. I'm not saying it again. [00:04:48] Speaker B: What's the name of my restaurant? [00:04:50] Speaker A: Eat your biscuit. [00:04:51] Speaker C: Anyway. Anyway, you see, this is the restaurant that's on her hat. [00:04:58] Speaker B: Eat my biscuit. [00:04:59] Speaker C: Yes. I struggle as a man with that. But anyway, the. So I said, you need to come check it out. But if you needed any other validation when you watch that episode, that man loved that B. He was like, this is the best biscuit I've ever had. It reminded him. [00:05:17] Speaker B: Remind of his grandmother. [00:05:18] Speaker C: Reminded of his grandmother. And that's a professional chef. You. [00:05:21] Speaker B: He's a Michelin. [00:05:22] Speaker C: Michelin, Michelin. [00:05:23] Speaker B: Tyler Florence. And he has been hosting. Excuse me, it's my asthma. I was out last night I'm sorry, in a smoke place. [00:05:37] Speaker C: Oh, cigars, cigar lounge. [00:05:41] Speaker B: But Tyler Florence, Michelin chef, he's been a host of the Great Food Truck race for now 18 years. So it's the 18th season. I'm so grateful to have been a part of that. Like on national TV, seen by. I think they have 9 to 10. [00:05:58] Speaker A: Million viewers and I'm one of them. I love that show. [00:06:01] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:06:01] Speaker B: Did you see me? [00:06:02] Speaker A: I haven't seen you yet. I'm going to tune in. I didn't know cuz she kept it up under raps. [00:06:09] Speaker C: I tuned it and it's funny like it was me. [00:06:11] Speaker A: But that's one of my shows. [00:06:12] Speaker C: My son, my son Amir, he loves to cook. So anytime we watch a bunch of cooking shows together. So when I sat down, he said, dad, what you watching? I said, food Network. So he came, got on my bed, he hopped on my bed and he looked and I said, that's my homie. He said, you know her? I was like, yeah. He was like, the biscuits really that good? I said, yeah, the biscuits is really that good. So it was, it was a good. I enjoy watching you. Enjoyed what y' all did. Shouts out to you. Shouts out to the restaurant, definitely. [00:06:43] Speaker B: So make sure y' all please, definitely. [00:06:45] Speaker C: Tap in, tap into that episode. And Shay, how was your week? [00:06:48] Speaker A: Had a good week. Had a beautiful week. [00:06:51] Speaker C: What made it so good? [00:06:53] Speaker A: I had an interview in my house. [00:06:55] Speaker C: Okay. [00:06:55] Speaker A: With B. Simone. [00:06:57] Speaker C: Hey. [00:07:00] Speaker A: So we're doing some filming and I just had a great week. Then I came over here seeing my girl. School started. Wait a minute. Let me put this in order. How it went on being the happy. I'm so happy. [00:07:18] Speaker B: Monday. [00:07:18] Speaker A: Damn. School started. School started Tuesday. Monday. B. Simone came right after them. But I was elated in a good space because the kids went off to school. I got a son, a senior. [00:07:29] Speaker C: Congratulations. [00:07:30] Speaker A: Another daughter going into seventh grade. So yeah. [00:07:32] Speaker C: Shouts out to you. [00:07:33] Speaker A: And then. Yeah, I usually free ball the rest of the week, but it was a great week. [00:07:39] Speaker B: Remember my kids were young in that first week of school. Well, no, I don't. Cuz it just really never meant anything to me because I worked. I was a teacher too. [00:07:46] Speaker C: Yeah. So it just, it was like day. [00:07:49] Speaker A: Back and I got. [00:07:51] Speaker B: Well, no, actually cuz I was in Chicago public schools and they were always in the suburbs. So they started like two weeks before. [00:07:57] Speaker A: Okay. [00:07:58] Speaker B: So that did I. I remember getting. [00:08:00] Speaker C: A little free time. [00:08:00] Speaker A: So I'm. [00:08:01] Speaker B: I'm happy for you. [00:08:02] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm happy. I got nine hours at home alone. [00:08:06] Speaker C: So you happy for that I am. [00:08:09] Speaker B: What you doing them nine hours at home alone? [00:08:11] Speaker A: Tik Tok. Not the full nine hours, but now I got my regimen back. I go on live usually Monday through Friday at 10am okay, give them your tik tok. [00:08:25] Speaker C: What's the tik Tok? So people can tap in. [00:08:26] Speaker A: Oh, K, B, K A Y, B, E, e. And it's 312404 from Chi Town to Atlanta. [00:08:33] Speaker B: Yes. Shout out to Chicago girls. [00:08:35] Speaker A: Yes, we. Yes, we are so. Yes, it's my thing. So it passes sometime. Usually I'm at home doing nothing. [00:08:44] Speaker C: Oh, well, that's cool. That's cool, right? [00:08:45] Speaker B: She's a very well kept woman. [00:08:47] Speaker C: Well kept. [00:08:49] Speaker A: I keep me. [00:08:49] Speaker C: You keep you. [00:08:50] Speaker A: I do. [00:08:51] Speaker C: I don't give a big mama energy. [00:08:52] Speaker B: Big, big mama. [00:08:56] Speaker A: Actually, if y' all ever come on Tik Tok. That's what they call me. They call you come me. [00:09:01] Speaker B: We're coming on Tik Tok. Everybody to KB312. 404. Tik Tok. Phenomenal woman, Phenomenal friend. I love her. [00:09:12] Speaker C: From Chicago to Atlanta. Everything in between. [00:09:16] Speaker B: Everything in between. [00:09:17] Speaker C: Ah, yeah. Well, thank you for asking. My week was. [00:09:24] Speaker B: Oh, damn. [00:09:26] Speaker C: It was bittersweet. [00:09:27] Speaker B: Okay. [00:09:28] Speaker C: And I'm going tell you how it was bittersweet. So I had for two weeks, I think it was like a Thursday, Wednesday. There's a place called the Dessert Bar in Rock Hill, South Carolina, and they have, they sell frozen cheesecake and you get a huge piece and it is amazing. So I got it, took it home, put it in the freezer. I waited a couple days and I said, you know what? I want some frozen cheesecake. So Wednesday night I went in the fridge, got me the cheesecake, I bit into it and the pain that went through my mouth, it was a tooth in the back. It has a. I found out later that it's an old feeling from when I was a kid that's loose. It's loose. And it went into the nerve. So I go to the dentist. The dentist says, oh, yeah, we got to do this and that. We're going to give you some numbing agent, whatever. And you know, you come back on the 19th and we'll, we will refill it next day. Pain gets worse. The day after that, the pain gets worse. So now it's like Saturday, I'm literally hanging off my bed and I am in such pain, I can't eat. I can't do nothing. And so Sunday I'm. I went. I did not cry, but I wanted to. [00:10:42] Speaker B: Sorry. [00:10:43] Speaker C: And then Monday comes And I called the dentist. They set me up with an appointment, but the appointment is Friday. Oh, the appointment is the following. No, the appointment. [00:10:52] Speaker B: So you've already been in pain for four days? [00:10:54] Speaker C: I'm already in pain for four days. [00:10:55] Speaker B: So then you call them on Monday. They still can't see you till Friday? [00:10:58] Speaker C: Yeah, they still can't see me till Friday. So then they move it up to Wednesday. Cool. I'm good. So then they were like, on Wednesday, they called me and said, hey, the doctor is sick and gotta go home a lot. So you got. So I gotta reschedule you for Monday. So now. [00:11:14] Speaker B: Now you ain't got the Friday. It's the following Monday. [00:11:17] Speaker C: Following Monday. [00:11:17] Speaker B: You could have stayed with your regular Friday. [00:11:20] Speaker C: So then I go off to. Now it's Monday. I get in there, they do whatever. But the silver lining is I've been trying to get back to my workout regimen and go back into losing weight. And over that week and a half, I lost 13 pounds. [00:11:35] Speaker A: Oh, so because you couldn't eat. [00:11:38] Speaker C: Because I couldn't eat. So all I was eating was oatmeal. Oatmeal. [00:11:43] Speaker B: Silver lining. [00:11:44] Speaker C: What was it? It was one night, I got creative. I said, because I was eating. I was eating oatmeal, I was eating mashed potatoes, pudding. And I couldn't. Like. All I had to do is. All I could do is put them up, do like that. But one, I was like, man, I'm tired of. I had mashed potatoes for dinner for, like, five straight days. And I was like, you know what? I'm tired of mashed potatoes. I need some flavor. So I made some chili, and then. [00:12:06] Speaker B: I put juice from it. [00:12:07] Speaker C: No, I put the chili, the whole chili in my. In my blender, blended it up, and then poured it on top of my. On top of. [00:12:15] Speaker A: Was it meat in the chili? [00:12:17] Speaker C: Yeah, it was groundy, everything. It was my full chili. And I poured it all over. I poured it all over my. My. My bowl of mashed potatoes. Well, I tow that. I tow that up. [00:12:28] Speaker A: You'll make it again. No, I will not. He was like. [00:12:35] Speaker C: He was fired on that day in which I had not had anything but pudding or ate jello. So. Question of the day. Question of the day. Question of the day. If your love life was a movie genre, what, Shay? What would it be? [00:12:54] Speaker A: No action. [00:12:55] Speaker C: No, that's not a movie genre, though, right? That's not a movie. [00:12:59] Speaker A: Isn't it action? [00:13:00] Speaker B: No. Like what? [00:13:01] Speaker C: No, it has to be like drama. Drama. Action. [00:13:04] Speaker A: Thriller, man, is no action. [00:13:07] Speaker B: So yours would Be. [00:13:08] Speaker C: You got action, horror, adventure, romance, animated, comedy, science fiction, thriller. [00:13:20] Speaker A: I'm like, no action. Opposite action, no comedy. It's a joke. It's a joke. [00:13:26] Speaker C: It's a joke. [00:13:26] Speaker A: It is. [00:13:27] Speaker C: Oh, man. It can't. It can't be that bad. [00:13:30] Speaker A: I wouldn't call it bad. I'm used to it. [00:13:33] Speaker C: It's become the norm. [00:13:34] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:13:36] Speaker C: Maybe it would be a documentary, a document, a do. [00:13:39] Speaker B: Oh. [00:13:41] Speaker C: Or a docu series or docu list. [00:13:45] Speaker A: A comedy joke. [00:13:47] Speaker C: I got V. What about you? [00:13:52] Speaker B: Probably a drama. [00:13:53] Speaker C: A drama. [00:13:55] Speaker B: Yeah, drama. [00:13:56] Speaker A: Drama for your mama. [00:13:58] Speaker B: Thriller, thriller. [00:14:00] Speaker C: Mine is a suspense. Because I don't never know what the hell's going to happen to me next. [00:14:06] Speaker B: What next? [00:14:07] Speaker C: What's gonna happen next? Got a couple people in the comments. Of course, y' all know relationship status podcast, rel s tat podcast on all social media platforms. Make sure to tap in when we post the questions. Jaren Harrison G. Former. Former guest of the show. She said good morning. A romantic comedy. Tracy Wagner said, the same romantic comedy. Hannah. Hannah Hoylett said, aara. She said, okay. She said, okay. Okay. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Doc shouts out once again, CAIRO Since Charleston, South Carolina. RomCom. Now Doc. It's a romantic comedy. [00:14:48] Speaker B: Oh, okay. [00:14:49] Speaker C: I can see that. My boy Doc shouts out to Doc. He just got married. [00:14:52] Speaker B: Congratulations. [00:14:53] Speaker C: Just got married a couple weeks ago. Early. It was in July. It was in July. Yeah. Romantic. No, they. Him and his wife got a. They got a vibe. I give. They got it. They got a vibe. And I'm gonna tell you what's crazy. Like, he planned his wedding. [00:15:08] Speaker B: It was already a comedy. [00:15:10] Speaker C: It was already. And listen, Doc is the funniest. The funniest man I know. And so the stuff he did was like, his wife, she could sing. So she sung coming down the aisle. She sung to him coming down the aisle. That was cute. But then the. [00:15:26] Speaker B: Definitely a romantic comedy. [00:15:29] Speaker C: And then the. At the. At the reception, your name was on a big, like, board, and. But at your table, there was a song, and if you knew the song, when the song. The DJ was playing the songs in order for the tables to go get something to eat. So when your song played, you went to get something, get some meat. But before you go to eat, you got to go to the front where him and his wife were standing, and you have to dance and show out with them, and they had a photographer taking pictures while you showed out with them for the whole entire song. And. And then you walk to get your food. [00:16:03] Speaker B: The song was entertained for that meal. [00:16:05] Speaker C: Oh, you, you entertained. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:16:08] Speaker B: You're gonna entertain for this meal. [00:16:10] Speaker C: It wasn't. And then the ceremony itself, it was only. It was really small. It was only like maybe about 30 people. Just family and, and, and it was family and the people. And the people in it in the, in the wedding. So it was like really, really small. And what they did was we. When the people came in when for the reception. A lot of people were invited to the reception. So when. And it was later that day. So what happened is at the reception, people sat and then they watched the ceremony on the screen. [00:16:42] Speaker A: Oh. [00:16:43] Speaker C: And then as they had the people walking off like through the doors of the Cuz they taped them walking through the doors into the reception. The people were coming in the reception. I think like it was done live. [00:16:53] Speaker A: I love that idea. [00:16:54] Speaker C: So he said he always just wanted to do. So if he was going to get married, he's going to do something different and that like the whole thing, all. [00:16:59] Speaker A: Them people to your wi30 people. I think that's good. [00:17:04] Speaker C: Yeah, it was very intimate. [00:17:05] Speaker A: When you do a. [00:17:06] Speaker B: A travel wedding, destination only people that's coming is ones. Those are the people genuinely like care for you because that's why they're paying. [00:17:15] Speaker C: To come the next time I'm getting married. It's a destination wedding. [00:17:18] Speaker B: Me too. Next time I get married. [00:17:19] Speaker C: And the only people I'm paying for, I'm going pay for my parents, I'll pay for my kids. Other than that, I'm not paying for nobody. [00:17:26] Speaker B: So would you want your wedding to be a courthouse? Courthouse. [00:17:29] Speaker C: I had that. I had that. I said it didn't work. I'm. No, I'm going have something on the beach somewhere. But I want it to be where people like the people that mess with. [00:17:38] Speaker B: Me, the ones who want to come are actually. [00:17:41] Speaker C: They're going to come. [00:17:42] Speaker B: They're not coming just to watch. Cuz it's free, it's a meal. Yeah. [00:17:46] Speaker C: N they going to come. [00:17:46] Speaker B: They're actually there because they want to be there. [00:17:48] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:17:49] Speaker B: And I'm going to have my wedding and everything all together. [00:17:53] Speaker C: Yeah, right there. [00:17:56] Speaker A: You will. [00:17:59] Speaker B: And let me tell you why I ain't going to the courthouse. Because we ain't gonna have no damn papers. We just don't have a goddamn ceremony. You ain't doing papers, rings. I don't think I ever want another legal marriage. [00:18:12] Speaker A: So why go through all of that? [00:18:13] Speaker B: Because it's a ceremonial commitment that we are making. [00:18:18] Speaker A: Marriage though I can call it whatever. [00:18:20] Speaker B: I want to call it. [00:18:20] Speaker C: No. [00:18:23] Speaker B: You know how many people walk around with no rings or rings? You don't know what's going on in life. [00:18:26] Speaker C: Okay, let's expl. [00:18:29] Speaker B: I can call it whatever I want because we have a union. [00:18:33] Speaker A: A marriage is a union between a covenant with God. [00:18:37] Speaker B: I guess God can't covenant mine just because I don't have a courthouse paper. What happens when slaves got married? They didn't allow them to go to court. [00:18:47] Speaker A: It's not going to be recognized as a legal marriage. [00:18:50] Speaker B: I don't need. I don't want it to. [00:18:52] Speaker A: Y' all just having a ceremony. It wouldn't be your husband, though, legally. [00:18:57] Speaker B: But I think I know it won't be legal. I just said I won't have a legal marriage. I know. [00:19:00] Speaker C: I'm just saying no, but then I think, guess what? [00:19:02] Speaker B: And guess what else? If I want to leave his ass, I can go. I ain't got to go to court. [00:19:06] Speaker C: See, but then you're going down the negative road already. You already thinking about, like, you. So. So you're praying for the downfall. [00:19:14] Speaker B: I'm not praying for the downfall. [00:19:16] Speaker C: That's what it looks like. [00:19:17] Speaker B: No, it's not. [00:19:17] Speaker C: Yes, it is. [00:19:18] Speaker B: All right. [00:19:18] Speaker A: Anyway. [00:19:19] Speaker B: Is that the topic today? [00:19:20] Speaker C: No. You about to be. You about to be the topic. [00:19:23] Speaker A: I love it. [00:19:24] Speaker C: You literally today's topic is V and her. Why did I get married? Why did I get married? Why did I get married? [00:19:33] Speaker A: I had a ceremony, but why didn't I have. Oh, you want a binding Indian Mandisi? [00:19:39] Speaker B: Well, a what? [00:19:40] Speaker A: Oh, loving hip hop. [00:19:41] Speaker B: Oh, I don't know about that. [00:19:42] Speaker C: Yeah, I. [00:19:44] Speaker B: What I do want. I'll say this. I want a life partner. I do think that because of my first experience, but I was so young when I got married. I was 25. Getting married again, because of the age that we're at, I think you could really see it as a permanent thing. Yeah, it's hard in your 20s to see it as permanent, but I think this is when people should get married after, like, a certain age because we change. We're constantly evolving. [00:20:18] Speaker C: I literally. I said this the other day. I said, who you are at 20. Something is not where you're gonna hear. [00:20:25] Speaker B: Who you are at 50. [00:20:26] Speaker C: I was. I was. I produced other podcasts and stuff, and one of. One of the podcasts I produced, Jay with the Inc. Is called Peas in a Pod. He's live Every Tuesday on YouTube and Facebook. And he. He has one of the co hosts that was on the show. Her name is Roz. Roz was talking about. She got a list and these are the list of things that she got to go by for somebody to marry her. And she's 25. And I said, you, you do understand that by the time you 30, the list is going to change. [00:20:57] Speaker B: I said, we evolve so much from children to careers, to who we are to experience this. I don't think anybody honestly should not get married until they're older. [00:21:09] Speaker C: No, I, I do believe that. I think third post 35 on maybe 40, I think is when you should. [00:21:15] Speaker A: And it's funny like I, I be believing that too. However, I heard it from a different perspective of why getting married together at a young age really works. [00:21:26] Speaker C: Why is that? [00:21:28] Speaker A: It was just like the growth and you go through all of it. I get what we feel like you and went through everything, but it's like the grandchildren together, it's the family, the building, the, you know. [00:21:41] Speaker C: No, but here's the thing. At 40, right, we's are gonna have. [00:21:47] Speaker B: Grandchildren if it's kids or not. Cause that's another factor. [00:21:50] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:21:50] Speaker B: You know what I mean? But that growth don't necessarily mean y' all grow together. [00:21:55] Speaker C: Exactly. [00:21:55] Speaker B: All the times you grow apart. And oftentimes just because. Let's, let's please y'. [00:22:01] Speaker A: All. [00:22:01] Speaker B: This bothers me more than anything. Let's get out of a space of thinking a long marriage is a successful marriage. [00:22:08] Speaker A: And see, I don't think that I believe people that really stay in it. Most people, it's work. Everybody know it's work. [00:22:16] Speaker B: Everything relationships is worse. [00:22:19] Speaker C: But people be like, grandma stayed and this, that, and the third and blah, blah, blah. Yeah, Daddy Granddaddy was cheating on her like crazy. She knew it. [00:22:26] Speaker B: That's what I'm saying. So please stop. Everybody say we ain't like we used to be. People been cheating. It ain't just start. [00:22:33] Speaker C: It ain't just start. [00:22:34] Speaker B: There's been infidelity, there's been abuse. None of this is new. The only difference is oftentimes women didn't leave because they didn't have an alternative. There was. [00:22:44] Speaker C: Exactly. [00:22:45] Speaker B: Women did not work. Women could not work for a while. Right. So do not mistake a long marriage for a success marriage and it goes back into what is fulfilling. Successful does not mean. I'm sorry. [00:23:04] Speaker C: No, you're good. Successful does not mean. [00:23:06] Speaker B: I thought my ring. Oh, ring off. Success does. First of all, it's going to vary from person to person. [00:23:14] Speaker C: We said. Yeah, we said that two episodes ago. [00:23:16] Speaker B: Success varies from person to person. Somebody working at McDonald's right now feels successful. [00:23:20] Speaker C: Yeah, he made it to fries. He Made it to fries, right? Now he was, he was. No, he used to be washing lettuce. [00:23:26] Speaker B: There you go. [00:23:27] Speaker C: But now he's on fries, and that's when the big bucks start rolling in. [00:23:33] Speaker B: And now he's on fries. So success looks different. But what I don't want to do is say, you know, you hear those people, oh, we've been married for 58 years. Yeah, but you've been miserable for 56. Was it worth it? [00:23:48] Speaker C: He been beating your ass for 40. [00:23:50] Speaker B: And he been beating your ass for 40. So now you finally 90 and can't whoop your ass no more. Now you want my. I'm done. So, yeah. [00:24:02] Speaker A: Now you see my face. [00:24:04] Speaker B: Success for the amount of time. [00:24:07] Speaker C: Yes. And that's it. [00:24:08] Speaker A: And I, and I truly don't. It's just I've been around and I've seen some marriages that have been through stuff and with. And stay together, family, and eventually work through it. [00:24:22] Speaker C: Yeah, I get what you're saying, but I think that it takes my marriage. I think I was 32, she was 26 when we got married. I was not ready to be married. She was not ready to be married. [00:24:39] Speaker B: Married. [00:24:40] Speaker C: The only reason we got married was because we had kids. Had we not had kids, we wouldn't have been married. And, and, and when, and when she figured that out and I figured that out, she hated me and I hated her. [00:24:56] Speaker A: And I just think, honestly, it varies from relationship to relationship. There's certain people who, 17th birthday and go through it, and there's certain people I, I've met some people who said, yeah, we went through work, but we ain't go through that. [00:25:12] Speaker C: Okay, so what's the that, though? Like, I, I don't see like that. [00:25:15] Speaker B: Depends on the, the relationship. [00:25:19] Speaker A: Finances and infidelity. [00:25:20] Speaker C: That's what I'm saying. So, like, if. So they went through the infidelity. [00:25:24] Speaker A: No, they didn't go through it. People who, like who. Husbands don't cheat. [00:25:29] Speaker C: I know who. [00:25:30] Speaker A: Husbands don't cheat. [00:25:31] Speaker C: So then I would say, you know. [00:25:33] Speaker B: First of all, none of us know shit. Only thing you know is what you know about you. [00:25:37] Speaker A: Well, let me just say this. [00:25:39] Speaker C: That's what they say. [00:25:39] Speaker A: Well, the wives we have. It is not that. Like my sister husband has said, when I think of what I got to lose at home, I'm not risking nothing for my wife. [00:25:51] Speaker B: I hear what I'm saying. I'm not saying he has. I'd like to believe my father. I don't think my father has ever cheated on my mother, but I Cannot say that with certainty. [00:25:59] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:25:59] Speaker B: You ain't been never saying, like, you just know and nobody knows. [00:26:03] Speaker A: I'm speaking on what has been shared with me. And I believe that my sister husband never cheated. [00:26:08] Speaker B: And he probably. [00:26:10] Speaker A: My thing is, has it been stuff that I be like, I couldn't deal with that part. Yeah. But they eventually work through that part. And it might be. You still have to work. I want you to do this, I want you to do that. And some people like, no, I'm not. You want this very. On every individual relationship is no one cookie cutter thing. [00:26:39] Speaker B: Thank you. Say that part again. It's not cookie cutter. Marriage is not so for anyone. I'm sorry. [00:26:46] Speaker A: No. You know how everybody be like, oh, I want you to go 50, 50. You do what works for your marriage. [00:26:52] Speaker B: It might be 80, 20. [00:26:54] Speaker C: Best at marriage advice I ever got. I was married. It was on the rocks. I'm ready to go. She ready to go. Went to my friend and he was like. He said, I'm gonna give you the advice my mama gave me when I went to them when we was having problems. He said, I'm not giving you no advice. He said, because your marriage is not my marriage. You are not me. Your wife is not my wife. What? I'm what? Any advice that I'm gonna give you is going to come from me and my experience with my wife. It can't come from. So it can't come from. He said, my parents married. His parents been married for forever. And I don't know what they've done from what they haven't done, what they've gone through, what they've gone through, haven't gone through in that time. And I will never know. He said. He'll never know, he said. But what he does know is when he went to them, the mother and the father told him the same exact thing. [00:27:43] Speaker B: This is your marriage. [00:27:45] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:27:46] Speaker C: That's why I don't think you got. [00:27:47] Speaker A: To figure out other people. [00:27:48] Speaker C: No. Oh, no. [00:27:49] Speaker A: I don't get on the phone and ask what you think I should do with my man. [00:27:52] Speaker C: I don't. I don't. I don't think. I don't think you really should. [00:27:56] Speaker B: I don't even comment on what somebody should be doing with their man. [00:27:58] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:27:59] Speaker B: Cause at the end of the day, you know what you're supposed to do with your man. Now what you choose to do with him is up to you. [00:28:02] Speaker A: And then you be talking to the boo in your face, and they gonna do what they wanna do. [00:28:05] Speaker C: At the end of the day, I really struggle with. Like, when I'm in a relationship, I struggle with opening up to people in my circle about what's going on in my relationship. Because, you know, everybody should have someone that they can vent to just to talk about stuff to. But I never want. Because my friends and my lady mean a lot to me. I never want my friends to look at her in a different way. So I. Sometimes I would say suffer in silence because I don't have anyone that I can vent to. So I just kind of deal with whatever it is that I'm dealing with because I never want them. I don't talk to my family. I don't. I don't ever want them to view my mate. To view my mate ever. Whoever I'm with, in any different light, because I think that that ends up starting to skew how they feel. [00:28:56] Speaker B: Yep, it does. [00:28:57] Speaker C: And it's the same thing with my mate. Like, it's difficult to vent to my mate about stuff my friends are doing. [00:29:02] Speaker B: Because they looking at your friends because. [00:29:03] Speaker C: Because now all of a sudden, like, I'm venting to you about, hey, man, this guy. He. He. You know, he. Other people on his wife. So now I can't go out with him. Because you. You want. [00:29:14] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:29:15] Speaker C: You know what I mean? So I. I kind of gotta gauge that thing. So sometimes you. It puts you in a space where you just be like, you know what? I'm just gonna shut the up and don't say nothing because I don't want anybody to feel. Because you're gonna be. I'm not leaving you. And my friends ain't leaving me. So we're gonna be in spaces and I like. I like to entertain. I like to do stuff with my friends, with my friends, with my man. I like to have cookouts at the crib and everybody come over and we play games. And I like all that game night. I like all that stuff. [00:29:45] Speaker B: So. [00:29:45] Speaker C: But if I'm venting to him about my wife and how she talked to me crazy and everything else, when he. [00:29:50] Speaker B: Come in, they feel some type of way about him. [00:29:51] Speaker C: Yeah. They're like, yo, you my dog. I'm not about to even. I don't. I'm not coming over there. [00:29:55] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:29:56] Speaker C: And I learned that through just being in relationships and that's that type of stuff happening. [00:30:00] Speaker A: And I'm single. I don't even vent to my oldest daughter. If I tell her Nikki did xyz, she ain't gonna like Nikki if I say this. My daughter, because I'm forgiving everybody. [00:30:13] Speaker B: Not. [00:30:13] Speaker A: I'm forgiving. And I be like, well, that was just that moment. My daughter gonna be like, what's she doing over here? You know? So I just learned to be like. [00:30:22] Speaker B: My mother said that years ago. I told her about something that was going on and she said, don't tell me. Cause I'm not gonna forgive the motherfucker like you will. [00:30:34] Speaker C: I'm not you. [00:30:36] Speaker B: So when you tell me, understand, y' all might be in the. Oh, we back. We ain't back. [00:30:44] Speaker A: We ain't back. [00:30:45] Speaker B: We ain't back. [00:30:46] Speaker C: So with this marriage thing, gonna double back to this. You getting married and not. And not. Not legally married and all of that, right? We're gonna double back. And even you, Shay, think about it. And even you, Shay, what are you more apt to do at this age? Cause we're at an age that's different than we were before. Are you liable to choose your mate. [00:31:11] Speaker B: Or. [00:31:13] Speaker C: Or. Or that genuine damn done fell for him? [00:31:18] Speaker B: Falling love versus choosing love. [00:31:20] Speaker C: Yeah. Versus choosing who you love? Falling in love or choosing. Choosing your mate versus falling in love? [00:31:26] Speaker B: I'm going let you go first. [00:31:27] Speaker A: I want two to go first. Because I'm lost right now. [00:31:30] Speaker B: Okay? For me. [00:31:32] Speaker C: So let's define the difference. [00:31:36] Speaker B: Okay? [00:31:37] Speaker C: Okay. Go ahead. Define the difference. [00:31:38] Speaker B: When you think of choosing who to love, it's. Hey, Shay, I want to introduce you to Marcus. Marcus is handsome. He has a great job, He's a good guy. You know, he's divorced. He has two kids the same age as your kids. He's a grandfather. His grandchild is the same age as your grandchild. He works at so and so. So and so real like low key, chill man, outgoing. And you're my educated, right? No people, you know what I'm saying? Got a little influence in the community. You like Marcus? Exactly. [00:32:25] Speaker A: Marcus. [00:32:27] Speaker B: But then you see Marcus and he is all those things. [00:32:31] Speaker A: But. [00:32:31] Speaker B: But you go out with Marcus and Marcus, you just looking at him and. [00:32:39] Speaker C: It ain't that you ain't feeling nothing. [00:32:42] Speaker B: Like that spark, you know, he that chemistry that not making you feel shit. But you like. But he's this. He's this. He this. He this. He this. He this, he this. Then you go out again and you still don't feel it. And we all know what the it is. Cause we felt the it, right? And then the alternative is you meet Julius. Julius, he decent looking girl. I want you to meet Julius. So now your family told you about Marcus, your girlfriend. I come to you, Shay. You need to meet Julius. Who is Julius? He fine. He had a good Job, you know, I don't really know too much about him. I just know he fine and got a good job. [00:33:23] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:33:25] Speaker B: And you see Julius and you're like, okay, he fine. [00:33:27] Speaker C: Right? [00:33:28] Speaker B: We were okay. He got a good job. He got a little influence. You go out with Julius and you just. [00:33:36] Speaker C: Oh my God, that grin, that grin out. [00:33:40] Speaker B: Julius touched your hand and you like, hey, Juju. [00:33:44] Speaker C: Hey, Juju. You done gave him a nickname. [00:33:47] Speaker B: But you know, Julius ain't never been married. Or let's say he's divorced too. He may be. Let's say Julius maybe did some time some years ago. He used to be an extra dude, not in the streets guys anymore. Took that money, got a lot of nice little real estate, you know, put his together. Julius gives you a natural feeling. Marcus gives you a. I got to kind of work to like him. Are you going to go with what flows naturally for you because he's had some past indiscretions. Yep. Or you're gonna go with Marcus who your auntie said and know his family and this and that, but you don't feel that way about. [00:34:42] Speaker A: I think you already know me. [00:34:43] Speaker B: I know exactly what you're going. [00:34:44] Speaker A: I'm going with Juju. [00:34:46] Speaker C: Yeah. Because I think when you're talking about choosing people nowadays, a lot of people, I see them saying they're choosing it for the business of it. I have a friend of mine, Yoshi, I want to. [00:34:56] Speaker B: Genuine. I am, I am. What do you call that? [00:35:00] Speaker A: I don't want that. [00:35:01] Speaker C: No, I think. No, I think what they're looking at is like the. Okay, so in choosing a partner, they're looking at the practicality of it the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the same values, the long term compatibility. Like they're looking. Yeah, we both do that. Yes. So this is practical. So that's. I'm gonna choose this person because it's practical. [00:35:22] Speaker B: Even though. Rather than genuine connection. [00:35:24] Speaker C: Even though it's. [00:35:25] Speaker B: I can make it one. [00:35:26] Speaker A: Do you think. Think more so women do that than men? Because. [00:35:31] Speaker C: Yes. [00:35:32] Speaker A: Okay. [00:35:32] Speaker C: Yes, because. Because I think that women marry. A lot of women marry for security. [00:35:37] Speaker A: Right. [00:35:37] Speaker C: And not love. [00:35:39] Speaker B: But I read this. I can't remember exactly where I read it, but they did like a. Basically it said women marry for security. Men marry whoever they're with. Not for love me and marry whoever they with at the time. They just want to get married. So if you're 30 and you want to get married, whoever your girlfriend is at 30, that's who you're gonna be. [00:36:02] Speaker C: That's what you're gonna marry. [00:36:04] Speaker B: If you're 50 and you decide, I want to get married for men, it's not about love. It's about men. Just saying, hey, this is where I am in my life. It's time for me to get married. And whoever I'm with, that's who I'm just gonna marry. We. For me, I'm a hopeless romantic. I have to really be with someone that I genuinely love. Love naturally, you know, with. With. No. Well, I can push to love him. The good thing about this, and I feel like, Shay, you're the same way. I have to have a genuine connection. I don't want to make myself love anybody because he had a good job. Because it's security. Right? That's why I work hard every day. We both work hard every day to ensure that we don't. I would call that settling. [00:36:49] Speaker C: Oh, that part is settling. [00:36:51] Speaker B: Because I'm settling on someone that I really know I don't even feel this way about. But I'm waiting to feel that way about them. So I'm work. I already got to work at the marriage itself. Now I got to work at actually liking this. [00:37:03] Speaker C: Come on. [00:37:03] Speaker B: No, it's too much work. [00:37:05] Speaker A: Okay. [00:37:05] Speaker C: It's just like the. Because in that scenario, there'll never be like, the passion won't be there. The excitement won't be there. [00:37:15] Speaker B: Guess what comes in? Infidelity. [00:37:17] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:37:18] Speaker B: Because they're missing. You're missing component of what this love is. [00:37:23] Speaker C: 100. [00:37:24] Speaker B: It's become a transaction. And now people are making marriages. Transaction. [00:37:30] Speaker C: But sometimes. Sometimes. But sometimes falling in love puts us in a place. Sometimes falling. It puts us in a place where we ignore red flags like we ignore issues. [00:37:42] Speaker B: Loved what we have chosen. [00:37:45] Speaker C: Oh, excuse me. Good Lord. [00:37:47] Speaker B: How many men have you loved in your life, relationship wise? I'm asking you next, so get ready. How many men have you loved? [00:37:56] Speaker A: Genuinely loved? [00:37:57] Speaker B: Yep. [00:37:58] Speaker A: About five. [00:38:00] Speaker B: Okay. Of those five. Six. Five, six. How many would you have chosen? [00:38:12] Speaker A: I'm like, goldie, they chose me. They chose me. [00:38:19] Speaker C: Yo, it was me. [00:38:21] Speaker B: You would have chosen none of them. Honestly, like, just be honest. When I think about the men that I've loved, there's only one man that I've loved that I actually would have chose. I would have. [00:38:36] Speaker C: How many did you love? [00:38:37] Speaker B: Well, what I've realized as an adult, I've only probably loved. Okay. [00:38:42] Speaker A: Like true, genuine love. [00:38:44] Speaker B: Hold on, let me start this over. That's a lie. [00:38:46] Speaker C: Hold on. [00:38:47] Speaker B: It's not a lie. But as I'm thinking about it, men that I've genuinely Loved three. I know exactly the three men that I've actually loved. I thought, I love my husband. I love him as a person, but I've never been love with my husband. I. I married my husband for security. I was young, I had two kids. I was living with my mom, I was teaching. He offered a way out. He offered a nice way out. Big house, nice cars. You know what I'm saying? [00:39:11] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:39:11] Speaker B: And I grew to love him, but I've never loved him like. Like that. My first love. I genuinely love him. I love him for the rest of my life. And there are two more men, but of those three men, of those three men, as they are when I met them, when you think about who they are as you met them, I wouldn't have chose any of them. [00:39:41] Speaker A: And I think we choose on where we're at in life, mentally, spiritually. [00:39:46] Speaker B: That's the thing. We're not choosing. I think we're falling. [00:39:49] Speaker A: Yeah, okay. [00:39:50] Speaker B: We're not choosing for whatever reason or. [00:39:52] Speaker A: Settle whatever it is. I think I look at my kid's father. Ain't no way. Sometime I be like, I had kids with him. [00:40:01] Speaker C: But is it. Is it because. Is it because of your experience that makes you look at him that way? Because if your experience was different, would you look at him different? [00:40:09] Speaker A: It's like right now, today, he's the same person who he was back then. And I'm like, how could I have loved something like that other than I had to be slow, something had to be going on. [00:40:21] Speaker B: No, you were. You have to think about. [00:40:23] Speaker A: I was younger, too. [00:40:24] Speaker B: How old are you? You were. That was 20 years ago. [00:40:27] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:40:28] Speaker B: You were not the same shape. [00:40:30] Speaker C: Yeah, I mean, so you were. [00:40:31] Speaker B: Now you put yourself in different rooms. You put yourself in different. Exposure changes everything. I moved to Atlanta and I got in different rooms with different men in different opportunities. So now different things became attractive to me because I got introduced to a life of shit that I've only seen on tv. I've never really experienced. I've had men with money, like from entertainers to NBA, you know, sports and shit, you know, try and holler, but the bulk of my surrounding wasn't that. You know what I mean? But to come here and meet these different men that are educated and have this and have that, and I'm put in different rooms, you start to want different shit. So now what used to be enough is no longer enough for me. So those three men would. I've chosen them. [00:41:25] Speaker A: No. [00:41:27] Speaker B: I would have never chosen. But it was. You just think. Think about this There are billions of people on this planet. [00:41:33] Speaker A: I say it all the time. [00:41:35] Speaker B: Think about the number of people in the plan planet and you're only going to meet a handful. It is designed because it is God. Now we also have to understand that every relationship that we're in is not about us. Sometimes we're in that relationship for what we can do for them. [00:41:52] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:41:53] Speaker B: Sometimes we're acting as a server to God for them. We keep thinking, what did it do for us? It ain't about what it did for us. Some relationships are about what we do for them and sometimes we are the sacrifice. [00:42:05] Speaker A: And that is what I always say. Genuinely. That's what a marriage is. A lot of people go into marriage for that person to serve them. But a marriage, I believe you should go in it serving the other person. [00:42:17] Speaker B: Absolutely. [00:42:18] Speaker A: And so, yeah, I agree with that. [00:42:20] Speaker B: 100 and people don't want to serve. [00:42:22] Speaker A: They don't. [00:42:23] Speaker B: People don't want to serve. We have been conditioned to believe that serving is a bad thing. When I was married, I was very. I'm as wild and flip as my motherfucking mouth is. I'm just a domesticated woman. [00:42:38] Speaker A: Me too. [00:42:38] Speaker C: Well, okay. In that. [00:42:44] Speaker B: I ain't get to ask you to stop. [00:42:46] Speaker C: Here's my thing. How many people have you loved? Before I lose my thought. [00:42:49] Speaker B: Okay, go. [00:42:50] Speaker C: I'm sorry, let me finish. Let me land this plane. I don't want to be with anyone that I feel needs to change who they are and what they love doing to be with me. If your mouth is reckless. I met you with your mouth. Reckless. [00:43:09] Speaker B: Amen. [00:43:10] Speaker C: Like now if we in an argument, there are certain things that you're just not gonna do. There's certain things you're just not gonna do. [00:43:17] Speaker B: Reckless mouth and disrespect is too. [00:43:19] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So. And that's what I'm saying. So, like, I don't want to be with nobody like that. They feel just because they were here a single single or double single or whatever. And now they're in a relationship or they're married to me. I don't want this version. A watered down version of you. I want. [00:43:39] Speaker B: I want who I met. [00:43:40] Speaker C: I want you. I want you. I want the. That's dancing around on Damn Tick Tock. And whatever the. Whatever. Whatever the hell I'm saying, whatever it is that I met you as, that's what that was. [00:43:51] Speaker B: The attraction. [00:43:52] Speaker C: I don't want that this watered down change. Oh, now domesticated. Yeah. Now I don't. Now I don't go out and I don't go out, but if you want to go, go. I'm. I'm all right. Like, I'll be home when you. As long as you come home every night and you ain't doing and you ain't off, I'm good. [00:44:09] Speaker A: So question. You met her in the club and she be out to four, five in the morning. [00:44:14] Speaker C: Yes. [00:44:14] Speaker A: Out in a full relationship, you still find with her coming in Monday through Friday, 4, 5 in the morning. [00:44:20] Speaker C: I'mma tell you something that my friends know. No, no, I'm telling you. I don't believe that you should put people in a box in a relationship because they do what's right for them. Now, if she wants to stay home with me, and that's what she wants. [00:44:38] Speaker B: To do, and I want her to. [00:44:39] Speaker C: Go to stay, that's fine. If she wants to go out and have a good time with her girls, I have enough trust in what I provide for her. And not necessarily money. I'm talking. And it's not money. Just. Just what I provide is a man, holistically, that she will know, okay, maybe I don't need to stay out till four. Maybe I come in at two. Maybe I come in and what happens over time as a person is allowing you to be you that you used to do. No longer, they start to turn that down. [00:45:16] Speaker A: What to do? [00:45:17] Speaker C: Well, you know, this here, he don't. He don't bother me about. [00:45:20] Speaker B: He ain't tripping. [00:45:21] Speaker C: He ain't tripping. [00:45:22] Speaker A: Then she gonna start thinking what he doing. [00:45:24] Speaker B: You know, you just. I just don't want to go out. [00:45:27] Speaker A: You know what? [00:45:28] Speaker B: Because you still don't even feel like this tonight. I'm staying home. [00:45:30] Speaker C: Like, yo, like, I wanna. I want to Netflix and chill with this. This. Like, when I left, he was cooking. [00:45:40] Speaker A: I think, yeah, she'll probably be in the middle of the twerking and be like, ain't nothing in here for me no more. [00:45:45] Speaker C: But. But that's what I'm saying. [00:45:48] Speaker B: Literally, like, right now, I don't even think we go out to meet anybody. I literally just go out because I like music and a cocktail. That's it. Like, I ain't looking for nothing. [00:45:59] Speaker A: I think we just discussed this earlier because I was like, I had a drink at home. He's like, I don't do. I'm a homebody. [00:46:04] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:46:05] Speaker A: I can have my drink and my music in the kitchen. I'm happy because if I'm out, I'm like, what am I doing? I feel weird out now. That's, you know, it's different. [00:46:16] Speaker C: And then I think, like, I've. And for me now, I used to had a friend of mine, Blaze, who was a dj. And so like, I did the club thing. Like, I used to be in the club. We used to throw events, all kind of stuff. So I done done so to me, like going out to a club, it just ain't me. I go out to a club bar. Maybe if you. But if you. Yeah, but if you want to. Do you like all of that to say? If your thing is. Let's say you're think. Let's say you a hard worker and like, you're a workaholic. I met you knowing that you're a workaholic. [00:46:49] Speaker B: I'm not about to expect anything different. [00:46:50] Speaker C: I'm not going to expect anything because guess what's going to happen innately over time. Me just being me. You're going to change whatever it is that you want to change or you're. [00:47:01] Speaker B: Going to evolve old, they got to grow old. [00:47:08] Speaker C: And the more you tell somebody to. [00:47:10] Speaker B: Do what they want to do, be it, come home, whatever it is, show me who you are. [00:47:16] Speaker C: Because as ladies, let's say whatever it is that you do, whatever your vice is, yours is going out listening to music. Yours might be working on your tick tocks, right? Let's say the dude you dealing with is like, yo, I don't want you doing. You do too many tiktoks, too many dudes be liking your. I don't want you doing this no more. You know what I'm saying? Like, you got to tone that down. Why, why is anybody, yo, V, you, you, all that. All that you be doing on Social. Yeah, you got to calm that down. Like I. Does he. Does he have the right to. Yeah, he can say whatever he want to say. People have the right to say whatever they want to say. But is it depending on who it. [00:47:52] Speaker B: Is, how bad I want that relationship? I want that relationship. [00:47:55] Speaker C: But my thing is. My thing is, shouldn't nobody have to say that because. Because you met me. You met. [00:48:02] Speaker B: You been knowing I'm doing this. [00:48:03] Speaker C: Yeah. You met me as this. [00:48:05] Speaker B: Yeah. And I'm. I, I, I am always who I am. [00:48:10] Speaker C: That's the thing. [00:48:10] Speaker B: I'm always who I am. However, if you know I ain't going to lie. [00:48:15] Speaker A: I will conform to my man. And I don't think I will conform to my man. I. That's just me. I ain't saying he forced me. Like, hey, you made a decision. [00:48:25] Speaker B: I want this man. [00:48:26] Speaker A: If I'm on tik Tok and it's becoming a distraction. And I want this man. Yes, I'm going to stop. [00:48:32] Speaker C: That's me to me, just as a. As a man or the person that I am, I just don't require you. I want you to do whatever it is you want to do. I just. I can't bring myself to a place to ask you to do things that you've been doing. When I met you, when I met you, this is what you were doing. These are the things that you enjoy doing. So if enjoying, I would. I'm not going to. Now, if somebody does something disrespectful or if you put yourself in a space where yo, is this, that and the third. And I'd be like, yo, look, you don't need to go back over there anymore. I'm not telling you to stop what you're doing, but you don't need to go over there anymore. Or if there's somebody you're doing your TikTok and somebody that says some disrespectful shit or whatever, then I'm like, hey, look, you need to go ahead and block that person because just these are. [00:49:13] Speaker B: Not going to be. [00:49:13] Speaker C: Disrespect is not going to be tolerated. I just feel like. I feel like when people try to say, I think that that sometimes becomes the downfall and it starts to build resentment. If I can no longer do what it is, I like what I enjoy. And that's going to change over time. What I enjoy doing is going to. I'm not going to want to go. [00:49:32] Speaker B: I would think that big. Whatever your vice is, right? [00:49:38] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:49:38] Speaker B: Tick tock my Instagram videos. [00:49:41] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:49:43] Speaker B: Once you have transitioned from being alone all the time to having someone there, I feel like that gonna lessen up. [00:49:51] Speaker C: And anyway, and that's what I'm saying. [00:49:53] Speaker B: I don't feel like a man would have to tell me because, you know, right. I don't think a man would have to say, well, Shay, you're on. [00:50:00] Speaker A: Tik Tok, baby, I'm want. [00:50:02] Speaker B: Hey, Tik Tok, my man here. My man, my man, my man. [00:50:06] Speaker A: I already know that about me on Tik. As soon as I get a man, y' all ain't going to see me like this. I tell them that. But saying this, like so many women, like, y' all know women, a lot of women running things now, a lot of things have changed. Women are making so much money and everything. So a lot of these women now, you can't tell them nothing because they got money. Most men don't. Care about a woman's money. Unless he broke. [00:50:31] Speaker C: I don't care about. [00:50:32] Speaker A: No, no. That's what I'm saying. You can have all these degrees. [00:50:35] Speaker B: They want to be treated like a man. They want a woman to know her role. [00:50:38] Speaker A: And so the women. Now I'm an alpha female. That's another conversation. [00:50:43] Speaker C: I don't want none of that energy. You can keep that over there. [00:50:47] Speaker A: But it. It was a guy who told me. It was a guy that told me he didn't like me with eyeliner on, right? I don't wear eyeliner. I just went in the house and I put some on, and I was trying it. I said, let me give it a few days and see if it looked right. Right? I go up to the bar. You know the bar? I get up there, there's a dude that I'm digging. Love him. As soon as I. Yeah. Soon as I get in his bar, I walk like, two feet. And he said, halloween next week. You know, I laugh, right? I laugh, right? And guess what I did? Went in the bathroom and took it off. And another woman. How could he say that to you? [00:51:34] Speaker B: Hey, but that's your relationship. That's your relationship. [00:51:36] Speaker A: And not only that, what if I think I look good, but the person that I love and attracted to, he don't like it at all. Who am I trying to do it for? Am I doing it? I'm trying. [00:51:47] Speaker B: I mean, if you think you look good when I'm doing it for me. [00:51:49] Speaker A: But I really didn't feel like. [00:51:52] Speaker B: Yeah, well, if you were like, no. [00:51:53] Speaker A: The person that I like and digging, he didn't like it. It was like, let me go right in this bathroom, take this eyeliner. [00:52:01] Speaker C: I think that's a different thing. I think that's a different. It's. That's not who you are. He didn't meet you with eyeliner on. [00:52:06] Speaker A: He didn't. [00:52:07] Speaker C: Yeah, it's different. Like, but if that was some. You know, if that was something that. Like, okay, women that deal with me, I tell them up front, have a few. There's a few things. A few things. I don't read long text. Anything past five lines, call me. [00:52:22] Speaker A: Most men don't. [00:52:23] Speaker C: It's just. Just anything. I'm out, son. Like, you gonna get one word. I ain't gonna say one word, but. [00:52:27] Speaker B: It'S gonna read the commentary. [00:52:30] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm just like, if you got a book, you know, I try to respect you enough to read it, but nine times out of ten, I'm out. One, two. If you got the. What's the synthetic braids. The fake braids. Like if you braid your own hair. Cool. I just don't do the synthetic fake braids stuff. Yeah, no, no, it's the one like the. The locks. No, faux locks are fine. But it's just. It's hard to explain. But I tell them when they. When they do it. I tell them when they do it. I tell them. [00:53:00] Speaker B: I'll be like, hey, look, I don't like them. Don't do it. [00:53:02] Speaker A: Hey, look, human hair. [00:53:03] Speaker C: Hey, hey, I'm out. [00:53:04] Speaker A: You want them to have human hair? [00:53:07] Speaker C: No, it's. And I'll tell you off camera why. Okay, so there's certain things that I tell you up front, and I just. [00:53:12] Speaker B: Be like, hey, no long text, no synthetic braids. What's the third thing? [00:53:16] Speaker C: Oh, no, no, no. This. This is. [00:53:18] Speaker A: Those are major. [00:53:19] Speaker C: Yeah, those are. Well, those ain't major. Those ain't. Those ain't major. But like, don't cuss at me when we. Don't cuss at me or yell at me when we having a disagreement. Just a little stuff about respect, stuff like that. But I'm saying if. If these are the things and I know that and you know this up front and you still decide to do that, then I've told you. And so now it's my turn. Now. Now I have to make some adjustments to me, because I told you these are the things that bother me. [00:53:44] Speaker B: So what. What if. [00:53:46] Speaker C: Okay, I'm just saying, like, that's just like him with the eyeliner. He didn't tell her he didn't like eyeliner, but when she put it on, he was like, yeah, yeah, you know, woke. You need to go ahead and get. [00:53:58] Speaker A: Rid of that straight off. I took it off. [00:54:01] Speaker B: This made me think about. I remember I am not a sexy woman. By no means. What does feel sexy? [00:54:10] Speaker C: What does that mean? [00:54:11] Speaker B: I would never, like, put on lingerie. And I'm never like that type of woman, right? I'm granny panties and no panties. That's it. But I have put on. I took it on my. Oh, my God. I still remember what I put on Earth. [00:54:29] Speaker C: The kick came out. [00:54:30] Speaker B: I put on. [00:54:32] Speaker A: Girl, you was crawling like a cat. [00:54:37] Speaker B: No, bitch barking like a. [00:54:42] Speaker A: Come on. Okay. [00:54:43] Speaker B: So I put on this white lace lingerie. I was so excited about it. And I remember I walked out the bathroom, you know, with that art in the room. This motherfucker see it. The you got on. I felt, man, that shit look like it itch. This angry motherfucker. When I tell you I never wore Lingerie. Yes. That nigga. [00:55:21] Speaker C: I already know. [00:55:22] Speaker A: I already know. [00:55:25] Speaker B: I already know. Who said fuck you got off. I know you lying, man. That shit look like it itched. [00:55:33] Speaker C: Did you tell me how to go take it off? [00:55:35] Speaker B: I said, I can't fucking stand. You wouldn't it take it off? It took that. I was like, well, it took. It doesn't itch. [00:55:42] Speaker C: Like, feel it. [00:55:43] Speaker A: Did you try. Was it his birthday? What was it? I don't know. [00:55:47] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:55:48] Speaker A: You wanted to feel sexy. You wanted to do something different. [00:55:51] Speaker B: I just tried to, you know, be a big girl. Because I've never really done that. [00:55:56] Speaker A: I don't wear it either. [00:55:57] Speaker B: I don't do that. So when I did it. And he responded that way. Now, granted, it's been the same person I had been with for the last 14 years. I'd never been with another man. But I ain't had no action since, you know? But I have no desire to ever do it again. [00:56:14] Speaker A: But I think I'm so nervous. [00:56:16] Speaker C: No, you get with the right. If you get with the right dude. [00:56:19] Speaker A: Yeah. I think if you did it initially. [00:56:21] Speaker B: If the dude had a decent fucking body. I put on some lingerie. What the fuck you got on? [00:56:25] Speaker A: But that's him. [00:56:26] Speaker C: That's him. [00:56:27] Speaker B: Like, see me never again. [00:56:29] Speaker A: Never walked away. It's stuff that I know that with a new person, I'm just gonna try. Like, I never talk, like, baby, I never call a dude baby. I wanna call a dude baby. [00:56:38] Speaker C: Okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna. I'm gonna say something. I'm gonna, I'm gonna say something. I'm gonna say this. There's a word that annoys me, baby. It is, baby. [00:56:50] Speaker A: It is it. [00:56:51] Speaker C: Now, I, I, I, I allow people to do it because what they want to do. So I don't say anything. I don't say nothing about it. [00:56:58] Speaker A: And I want to use. [00:56:59] Speaker C: But it is so annoying, like, deep down. [00:57:05] Speaker A: And I get jealous when I hear people call a man baby. Because I never did it. [00:57:09] Speaker C: No. I just. [00:57:09] Speaker A: My baby daddy would have been like, what the f You doing? [00:57:11] Speaker C: And I just, I let it go, baby. I let it go. I just be like, okay. Because I noticed what they want to do. It's the way. It's the term of endearment that they want to use towards me. That's cool. But to me, to me, you hate it. [00:57:21] Speaker B: What about BAE or babe? I'm big on babe. [00:57:25] Speaker A: I, I, I, Babe is kind of. [00:57:28] Speaker C: Baby is what gets me Baby. Babe is okay. Ba. [00:57:30] Speaker A: Is okay. I say babe cuz I want to say baby. [00:57:33] Speaker C: But you'll never know. You'll never. Baby, you'll never know what some people know now, but you'll never know if. If I say it like if. If. If I don't tell you because I. [00:57:42] Speaker A: Don'T tell you baby. So no synthetic hair. Don't call you baby. And what's the other one? [00:57:47] Speaker C: No long text. [00:57:48] Speaker A: No long text. [00:57:49] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:57:50] Speaker B: So can I ask you this, cuz I've been dying to ask. How many women have you loved? [00:57:59] Speaker C: I. I go with what you said earlier. I thought that I had loved a lot of people. I thought that it was. I. I would say if you'd asked me. I said I love about 15. No, I. I thought it was. I thought that was the case if you asked me before my. Before my breakup with my ex fiance. But I only love, like, truly love. 3. Yeah, like truly love. And how many of them would I have chosen? All three. Oh, all three of them were amazing. Amazing women. Amazing women. All three of them. I would have chose all three. [00:58:36] Speaker A: I said five, but I can't even picture the five. But I said that was. [00:58:39] Speaker B: There are five men. I thought I was three. That I know I love. Second kids dad. I love him, but like not love him like that. [00:58:47] Speaker C: Like, as you grow, I think you. [00:58:48] Speaker B: Realize, you realize what the real meaning. [00:58:51] Speaker C: And then how it's supposed to feel now. Now because you make that feeling you have at first is like an assumption. Yeah. Yeah. [00:58:57] Speaker B: And the crazy part is I want to be loved how I'm supposed to. [00:59:02] Speaker A: And especially when you know how to give it. I. [00:59:04] Speaker B: And that's when you. If I could, man. The desire to be loved the way that I give love. And I said I wasn't emotional on my period. [00:59:15] Speaker A: Come here. Y' all know I'm five nine and she five one. Come on. Come on. The big mama. [00:59:22] Speaker C: Big mama. [00:59:23] Speaker A: Come on. [00:59:24] Speaker B: Like, I just. I had an experience before. I just really. I'm ready to be loved the way that I love. And I've never had that. I think I did a post. [00:59:38] Speaker A: She did. And I chimed in. I. In all these years, I. No, man, I can say genuinely love me. [00:59:46] Speaker B: I ain't going to say that. [00:59:47] Speaker A: I believe not the way that I love. [00:59:49] Speaker C: Not the way that. [00:59:50] Speaker B: Not the way that I desire to. [00:59:51] Speaker C: Be loved the way you desire to be loved. [00:59:54] Speaker B: I just want to be loved the. [00:59:55] Speaker C: Way that you desire to be loved. [00:59:57] Speaker B: That I desire to be loved. And in all honesty, I didn't know that Until. That's why I say exposure changes you. [01:00:04] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:00:04] Speaker B: When I realize a different type of love, I have a very deep desire for that now. [01:00:13] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:00:14] Speaker B: And. [01:00:14] Speaker A: And that's good. You experience that. I know for a fact, because I've taken it biblically, even in Ecclesiastes, when it speaks about love. Love is gentle. Love is kind, long as love is long suffering. None of that. I've never had none of that. [01:00:29] Speaker B: Crazy, because we like beautiful women. I've never had beautiful women, great personalities. And it's just like, do you think that lovers. Do you. [01:00:37] Speaker C: Do you think that you have. Do you think that, like, you said it in the last episode, you know, one of these dudes in my inbox. What if, like, have. Do you feel like you have been open too long? Have you been open to meeting people to love you? I'm talking to the both of y', all, just so y' all know. [01:00:56] Speaker A: Okay. [01:00:57] Speaker C: You want to. You want to turn your whole body that towards her. I'm talking to the both you of y'. All. I'm just saying. [01:01:03] Speaker B: You're not going to be focused on the monkey in the middle. [01:01:05] Speaker C: No, I'm just saying it was to the both of y'. All. That was you guys. [01:01:08] Speaker A: Listen, while I address it, have I been open to it as of now? I. I would say, like, the last year or so, I have at first, 100%. No, I thought I was, but I put everybody, even from the fine dude. You said I put them in the friend zone, and I automatically did. Friend zone. To protect me. Me, I'm thinking automatically, somehow, me loving you and you loving me, I'm gonna get hurt. So now I'm open, and the dudes in my inbox are missing a third tooth, and I'm like, I got another one. So it's like, I want somebody to genuinely say, she a cool girl. She on top of her stuff. She beautiful. And me and her can do XYZ together. I haven't had that person even remotely say anything to me, but I'm open now. It's like, it seem like I'm open now, and it's like, where they at? [01:02:08] Speaker C: I'm going someplace with it. Cause there's another question attached to it. But you. [01:02:15] Speaker B: I. Whose song was this? Sza. There's a song, it says, I says, feel like I wasted my best years. I wasted my best years. I feel like on a man who. I feel like I wasted a lot of my years. And it scares me. It just. It scares me that I've missed my boat. You Know what I mean? Because a lot of men that I feel are compatible with me and who I am and what I, you know, and what I have to offer as a person. Not talking about money or nothing like that. Most of them are married, you know, at this age. And so you got a few, you know, that maybe are not, but they still out here playing. [01:03:08] Speaker C: So. So you're. So basically you're saying you're not. [01:03:14] Speaker B: If I met the right man. Yeah, I. I want to. [01:03:18] Speaker C: No, but I'm saying. But that's what I'm saying. Like, I'm not talking about the. Whether you're ready to get into this because you've said that. You've said that you're ready to be loved the way you want to be loved. I'm talking. Are you open to meeting the people? [01:03:30] Speaker B: Yep, I'm open. [01:03:31] Speaker C: Now that you both have said that you are open, yes. Do you think, do you think that your. Even though you're open, do you think that your social media presence makes it difficult so that you're guarded? Because you don't really. You're not. Because of the fact that you're not really sure what people want, like how genuine they are. [01:03:58] Speaker A: So social media now coming. [01:04:00] Speaker C: You said people on your inbox, and I'm pretty sure your inbox and people see you out. You know what I mean? [01:04:06] Speaker A: So I believe the garden. Does it make you guarded from social media? I am. Because with social media, for me, like, I keep. I tell them all the time they want to. I go by kb. So they're like, they want to do it for the love of kb, right? And I was like, out of all the people I'm gonna meet, the craziest. Or if it's a super duper nice looking dude, I think he hitting on everybody on there. So. So you got a problem now I am guarded on social media. [01:04:39] Speaker C: Okay. [01:04:42] Speaker A: Well, then I would love. [01:04:44] Speaker B: You're gonna meet someone if you don't go out. [01:04:46] Speaker A: No, no. [01:04:47] Speaker C: And you don't, you don't, you don't do that on social media. [01:04:50] Speaker A: I'm a date. The Amazon man, he show up every day and he faithful dropping off packages. No, my Amazon man be on point every day. But no, I would hope like one of my girlfriends, when we became cool through TikTok, she was like, I got somebody perfect for you. I would hope like one of my girlfriends. Cause you can't. [01:05:13] Speaker B: I already met him. [01:05:14] Speaker A: Yeah, like, no, honestly, like, you go out, you know, guys, and you like, oh, this dude would be a nice. [01:05:22] Speaker C: Fit for Shay oh, so you talking about like a hookup? [01:05:24] Speaker A: Like somebody prefer because I would trust one of my girlfriend's judgment versus a complete stranger on social media. Like if you know and be like, yeah, I. I can see that. [01:05:35] Speaker C: I have an idea here. I know if you going to ride with me on this, but I got an idea here. What I think we should do. This is what I think we should do. Anyone that's interested. [01:05:51] Speaker B: Oh my God. [01:05:53] Speaker C: In dating my girl Shay, right? That's interested in dating my girl Shay. [01:05:59] Speaker A: Oh my God. [01:06:00] Speaker C: Put you. We're gonna. We're gonna put up. We're gonna go ahead and email us R e l s t podcastmail.com. we. The show will pay for the date. [01:06:10] Speaker B: Yes, we will. [01:06:11] Speaker C: Of the top three candidates that we feel we're gonna. When you email the show, we'll send you a Google form. You fill out your stats and then when you fill out your stats. When you fill out your stats, the show will pay for your meal right here at Eat. At Eat. Say it because I ain't gonna say it. [01:06:28] Speaker B: My business. [01:06:29] Speaker A: I think I'm on a date here with her. [01:06:30] Speaker C: Okay, okay, okay, okay. [01:06:35] Speaker B: For your meal. [01:06:35] Speaker C: We'll pay for your meal. Period. [01:06:37] Speaker B: Wherever you choose. [01:06:37] Speaker C: Wherever you choose to go, we'll pay for the date. [01:06:39] Speaker B: We'll pay for it. [01:06:40] Speaker C: We'll pay for the date. We'll go in and then what will happen is at the end of each date, she'll come and discuss the date. [01:06:48] Speaker A: On the show and they can call in. [01:06:50] Speaker C: No, no, no, no. And then whoever it is you choose, we will have as somebody to go on a second date with, we will have on the show. [01:07:00] Speaker A: Okay, this is funny. [01:07:03] Speaker C: Hey. I mean. [01:07:04] Speaker B: So let's. Let's replay this one more time. If you are interested in a date with potentially something and longevity. [01:07:14] Speaker C: Longevity. Like we're not talking about just doing the nasty. Yeah, yeah, we're not. No, for real. No, for real. Date. Like you really try to court, man. [01:07:22] Speaker B: And you are looking for a partner. [01:07:24] Speaker C: Emphasis on single. One more time. [01:07:27] Speaker B: Single. [01:07:28] Speaker C: Okay. [01:07:28] Speaker B: And you are looking for a potential lifelong partner and you are interested in meeting this beautiful woman to the left. [01:07:38] Speaker C: Of me because I know somebody in South Carolina right now. I'm hit my boy. As soon as we get off, I'm hit my boy. [01:07:44] Speaker B: If you're interested in dating Shay, please. [01:07:49] Speaker C: Email us R e L S T A t podcast gmail dot com. [01:07:55] Speaker B: And just in this subject, put Shay. [01:07:58] Speaker C: Just put Shay. S H a. [01:08:00] Speaker B: Why? [01:08:01] Speaker C: Why? She told me sha. [01:08:04] Speaker A: It's really sha. [01:08:05] Speaker B: Okay, well, there you Go put Shay Sha in this subject and then just say, I'm interested in dating Shay. We will email you back a Google form. You will put your information in that is requested and then we will contact you further to set up these days. [01:08:21] Speaker C: Set up the date. Yep. [01:08:22] Speaker B: Here you go. [01:08:23] Speaker C: Oh, and there will be a chaperone. So don't nothing crazy happen, period. Just letting you know. [01:08:27] Speaker B: And I do carry. [01:08:28] Speaker C: Yes. And I'm anxious to use and we will be taking. And you have to be okay with taking photos. You have to be okay with video because we will be videoing and taking pictures. No audio, but we will be taking video and pictures. [01:08:39] Speaker A: I did not sign up for this, but I'm. [01:08:41] Speaker B: Are you okay with that? [01:08:42] Speaker A: I'm okay with it, actually. Was I open? [01:08:45] Speaker C: Yeah. No. For the love of kb, if you want. If you really. [01:08:48] Speaker B: If you. [01:08:48] Speaker C: If you're really on the for the love of kb, then this is what we're going to do. Top three candidates will be contacted and that's what it is. And we're going to post this on all our social media. We're going to. So you can. You can also contact us on social media. Re R E L S T podcast as well as you can hit V on her on her social media. [01:09:08] Speaker B: Sure can V live underscore, baby. [01:09:09] Speaker C: And you can hit me on mine. [01:09:10] Speaker B: You put it say shay S H A don't all that extra I want to Shay and we going to go from there. [01:09:15] Speaker C: That's it. And if you want and if. If you follow me, if you don't follow me, follow me at the 9th Wonder and you go ahead and put it in my inbox. I'll make sure that we put it all together. I'll send you the Google form and we'll get it popping. [01:09:27] Speaker B: Bring it your day, bitch. [01:09:30] Speaker C: On that note, we are off. [01:09:37] Speaker A: Y' all set me up for this. [01:09:38] Speaker B: We gotta get you a date, baby. Thank you for listening to another episode of Relationship Status. Remember, you can catch us on relationshipstatuspodcast.com, iTunes, Google Podcast, iHeartRadio, Spotify, Pandora, Amazon Music and anywhere you listen to your favorite podcasts. If you would like to join the conversation or leave us a dear neek, email us at relstatpodcastmail.com or call us at 843-310-8637. Follow us on Facebook at Relationship Status Podcast on Instagram and Twitter elstatpodcast. And don't forget to comment. Share 5 star rate. Subscribe and review.