October 18, 2023


222nd Date Congrats Blaine!

Hosted by

Yusuf In The Building C.L. Butler Nique Crews
222nd Date Congrats Blaine!
Relationship Status Podcast
222nd Date Congrats Blaine!

Oct 18 2023 | 01:11:07


Show Notes

Hosts: Nique Crews, C.L. Butler, & Yusuf 


Guest: Blaine Anderson 


On today’s episode of RSP, the team is joined by Dating Coach Blain Anderson, founder of "Dating with Blaine." Blaine joins the show and discusses her background, how COVID sparked her business venture, and why she chose to work with men. Blaine and the crew discuss "Postponement", Keeping your options open, and how traveling can enhance your chances to meet someone. C.L. and Blaine disagree on the question "What women really want" and discuss how dating is going to change in the summer of 2022. Blaine talks about her masterclass and discusses how her friends refer their dates to her class. Take a listen and Tune in to this episode, this is one you definitely don't want to miss. Be sure to leave your thoughts and comments on the RSP Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram page.


To sign up for Blaine's masterclass use this link: https://www.datingbyblaine.com/blaines-dating-masterclass


Follow Blaine on all social media platforms @datingbyblaine


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Episode Transcript

[00:00:01] Speaker A: Do you have a podcast that you're passionate about? Are you looking for a professional studio to help bring your vision to life? Then look no further than Crux Media Group studios. Located at nine Three West Evans Street in Florence, South Carolina, crux Media Group Studios is a full service podcast studio that offers recording, editing, consultation, live streaming, video recording, and more. We have state of the art Equ Whitman and a team of experienced professionals who can help you create a podcast that is professional, polished, and engaging. Whether you're a first time podcaster or a seasoned pro, crux Media Group Studios can help you take your podcast to the next level. Contact us today at 843-407-1673 to learn more about our services and to schedule a consultation. [00:01:07] Speaker B: Welcome back to relationship status. It's your boy Yusuf in the building. And remember, you could catch us on all podcast platforms. Remember to like, share, follow, and five star rate. And if you want to join the conversation, email us, re l at R-E-L-S-T-A-T [email protected] that's relstat [email protected]. And don't forget, you could also catch the show and everything else better good about [email protected]. I was sneaky. Seal are out today, and so is Ferranda, so it's just me. But it's by design. It's not like they just didn't show, so it's by design. It's not like we're too busy. I'm a big fan of Shark Tank. So is the O. And we were watching this latest episode, and if you get a chance, go watch it. It's crazy, the amount of guests that we've had on the show that have gone on to do great things. Like, we had Kitty Rose, who's now a huge part of the Conversation Cards tour. And this next guest that we had that I'm literally going to talk about and the reason why we're going to talk about her was Blaine Anderson of Dating by Blaine. It's a relationship seminar, classes and stuff for men, and she specializes in helping men date effectively. So I'm watching Shark Tank and she's on Shark Tank, and she ends up getting a deal with Mark Cuban for her dating site, where she ends up getting I think she ended up with like $250,000 for her services. $250,000. I think it was like 25% was what they ended up with. And so it was on that. So I instantly, when I saw it, I hit up, I say, Yo, Blaine, what's up? Congratulations. I'm very happy for you. We're going to run back that episode. So in honor of Blaine getting that deal, making that money, bringing in the investor, and becoming getting a shark on her side, we're going to go ahead and we're going to run back the episode that we had Blaine on. So here we go. [00:03:47] Speaker C: Welcome back to relationship status. [00:03:49] Speaker D: It's your girl, Neat Cruz, CL Butler. [00:03:52] Speaker B: And your boy Yusuf in the building. And remember, you could catch us on all podcast platforms if you want to join the conversation, please email us at [email protected] or hit us on the Hotline 843-310-8637. And we are here for another great Monday. How are you doing there, my good sister Nick? [00:04:16] Speaker C: It's good. It's just Monday. I have the Monday blues. [00:04:21] Speaker B: You have the Monday blues? TGIM? No. [00:04:26] Speaker D: Is that like a real thing or is that like a teacher thing? [00:04:28] Speaker B: Thank God it's Monday. That's an Eric Thomas thing. [00:04:33] Speaker D: Okay. [00:04:35] Speaker B: What is it? The motivational speaker. He always comes up. Thank God it's Monday. People be drearing. Monday. No, be prepared. [00:04:43] Speaker C: But my birthday is coming up. [00:04:45] Speaker B: Hey, happy birthday. [00:04:47] Speaker D: You'd be 25. [00:04:48] Speaker C: Okay. We're going to go with that. [00:04:50] Speaker D: It's a good number. [00:04:51] Speaker C: Yeah, we're going to go with that. [00:04:52] Speaker B: It's a good number. [00:04:53] Speaker D: Yeah, it's a good number. [00:04:54] Speaker B: Turn up. The turn up is about to be real. [00:04:56] Speaker C: I'll be 36. [00:04:58] Speaker D: Really? I didn't know you were 36. I thought you're like 31. [00:05:02] Speaker C: Really? [00:05:03] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:05:04] Speaker C: We've been doing a podcast for this. [00:05:05] Speaker D: Long, and you didn't I'm not concerned with age. Age is a social construct. Social construct. Age is not a real thing. Just as good as you feel. [00:05:18] Speaker C: Well, it is Men's Mental Health Month. [00:05:22] Speaker D: Okay. [00:05:22] Speaker C: So how you all been doing? [00:05:26] Speaker B: My mental health is strong. [00:05:28] Speaker D: Yeah. My mental health is good. It's also pride month. Why did you start laughing? No, because of the way you look just now. It's the way you shouts out to the month. [00:05:40] Speaker C: To the month. [00:05:41] Speaker D: The month. So we got men covered alternative and pride. And what else? What else is this month? [00:05:50] Speaker E: Me. [00:05:51] Speaker D: Okay. Next month. [00:05:52] Speaker B: Next month, yeah. [00:05:53] Speaker D: I didn't know you were June baby. [00:05:55] Speaker C: Yes. Summer, baby. [00:05:56] Speaker B: Okay. See how's it going? [00:05:59] Speaker D: I am doing very well. [00:06:03] Speaker B: Short and sweet as always. [00:06:05] Speaker D: Yeah. I'm just good. I'm low maintenance. [00:06:07] Speaker C: Productive. [00:06:08] Speaker D: Yes. [00:06:09] Speaker B: Have you been productive so far? [00:06:11] Speaker D: Me? Very. [00:06:13] Speaker C: He's always busy. [00:06:14] Speaker D: Very. I'm really productive. Okay. Because I like to sleep in. So when I get the day started, I jump up and get it started right away. [00:06:22] Speaker B: You can't call sleep before nine. [00:06:24] Speaker C: Really? [00:06:25] Speaker D: I don't really like talking to people. I mean, it got to be, like emergency, but I just need that time for me. [00:06:29] Speaker B: You can't not his me time where. [00:06:32] Speaker C: He has to get up and yeah. [00:06:34] Speaker D: I just don't think people should just hit you early in the morning. [00:06:36] Speaker C: Really? [00:06:37] Speaker D: This is, like, super important, and usually it's not. [00:06:40] Speaker C: I get up at 06:00. A.m.. [00:06:42] Speaker D: Okay. [00:06:43] Speaker C: I'm calling people that I need to call. Like, Harry, what you doing today? I like to go to go out and eat breakfast during the weekend. [00:06:55] Speaker D: That's whack yeah. [00:06:56] Speaker C: Really? [00:06:56] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:06:57] Speaker B: That's white. [00:06:57] Speaker D: Okay. [00:06:58] Speaker C: Wow. I like doing that. That's my bonding time with friends, family, like connecting with them. [00:07:06] Speaker D: Can't wait to ten. Why would you call somebody at 630 on the weekend? [00:07:12] Speaker C: I wake up at 630. I might call them at seven or 08:00. [00:07:16] Speaker D: Don't call me. I'm cool on that. Nine I'm good. [00:07:24] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:07:25] Speaker C: The early bird gets the worm if. [00:07:28] Speaker B: You want a worm. [00:07:32] Speaker D: Okay. [00:07:35] Speaker B: Well, we have with us today dating expert and from Dating by Blaine, it is Miss Blaine Anderson. How are you doing, Blaine? [00:07:48] Speaker E: Hi. Doing wonderful. Thanks for having. [00:07:53] Speaker C: Thank you for coming on the show. [00:07:55] Speaker B: Thank you for having me. [00:07:57] Speaker D: Okay. [00:07:58] Speaker B: So how's your Monday going, Blaine? [00:08:01] Speaker E: So far, so good. I liked the thank God it's Monday. I thought, too. I usually get a little work done on Sundays, so that Monday is a little bit easier. And I did that this week, so I'm feeling good going into the week. [00:08:15] Speaker B: Okay, that's good preparation. That's what I like to hear. [00:08:19] Speaker D: Wayne, I'm just noticing that's a good ring on your finger. See it? Is it still Anderson? Yes. Is it still Anderson or his new name? [00:08:31] Speaker E: I'm going with Anderson. Yeah. [00:08:33] Speaker D: Okay. No, hyphen sticking with it. [00:08:38] Speaker E: No, not for business stuff. I'm sticking with Blaine Anderson. That's right. [00:08:42] Speaker D: I don't know Blaine. We start up on the wrong foot. I'm more traditional. [00:08:48] Speaker C: Nope, keep your last name. [00:08:50] Speaker D: Yeah. Speaking of last names, what do you think about Ricky Williams changing his last name, if you know who that is? He's a Texan, played football, NFL guy. He changed his name. Okay, I'll give. Yes. He took his wife's last name. [00:09:06] Speaker E: Did she have a better last. [00:09:10] Speaker D: No, no, it's not even cool. [00:09:15] Speaker E: Oh, God. So she had a better last name. [00:09:17] Speaker D: Like mischievous or something? A lot of letters. [00:09:21] Speaker C: A lot of letters. [00:09:22] Speaker D: But he built his career as Ricky Williams, NFL, college, high school, and he said something about societies conforms. [00:09:31] Speaker C: Well, I mean, what was the actress name that played in Columbiana? Zoe. [00:09:37] Speaker D: Nobody knows. Zoe Zaldello. [00:09:40] Speaker C: Yeah. Her husband changed his last name to hers. [00:09:43] Speaker D: I'm not with this new that what. [00:09:45] Speaker E: I like going with. Whoever's last name has a better ring to. [00:09:51] Speaker D: Oh, me either. Me either. Was this a conversation before. [00:09:58] Speaker E: I my husband? He's like, yeah, if you want to take my last name, then go for it, and if you want to stick with yours, that's okay, too. He didn't have a strong preference that's but he did say, I want our children to have my last name. [00:10:14] Speaker C: Okay. [00:10:15] Speaker D: When we have kids, I'm about to start a petition or something. I don't know, but I'm going to start one. [00:10:23] Speaker E: Everyone can. Do you do you in terms of what you want your name to be? We also talked about making sort of a new last name together, but then ultimately decided, yeah, that I like changing his, too. So we kind of met in the middle, but ultimately he was like, yeah, I'm not about that. Which I do understand, because then you kind of break the lineage with your family. Part of having you want to keep your family's name going. You want to have that tie and that respect to your ancestors, which I get. And that was ultimately where I was like, yeah, it was a fun kind of chat to have, but then ultimately, we're like, no, we don't want to do that. [00:11:00] Speaker D: Oh, because I'm like, in Game of Thrones. I'm like real old traditional neanderthal type. [00:11:07] Speaker E: The wife should take the last you said it's. [00:11:11] Speaker D: So aggressively hit her over the head and dragged her in the cave. Yes. [00:11:15] Speaker C: Only on Sunday, south Carolina on a courthouse. [00:11:20] Speaker D: Yeah, I didn't really mean that, but I'm serious. [00:11:26] Speaker B: Well, Miss Blaine, how did you get into this particular line of work? [00:11:31] Speaker E: That's a great question. So it came about somewhat naturally. I always liked giving advice to my guy friends, specifically in college is when I really started doing it more. My guy friends would ask me about my sorority sisters, or my friends like, oh, what about this one? What about that one? And be like, yeah, don't bother with her. She's never going to be down. Or like, oh, yeah, you and her would really hit it off. And so I would like to get involved and kind of play matchmaker and just giving advice there and then. After college was when I'm 32. So dating apps really became a thing after college where it was normal that people had online dating profiles, normal to meet people online. And I was living in New York City, and people started to get into online dating, and I would see my guy friends profiles, and I was like, this is terrible. No wonder you're not getting matches. You look awful. This picture is not good. You're not representing yourself. Well, you're an awesome guy in person, but that's not translating online. So I'd help them upgrade their dating profiles. Okay, I'd take some photos of them. Let's do this. Let's do that. And they started seeing results. So then they'd put me in touch with their colleagues or their friends, and it was a side hustle for a long time. I would just do it for fun or help people when I could. And I was working in the travel industry, actually. So then when the pandemic hit, I essentially became unemployed overnight and was like, well, better figure out something else to do. And I had been for a long time wanting to invest more in my path as a dating coach, and that was the perfect opportunity. It was sort of the push, the unexpected push that I needed to, okay, let's go full steam ahead with this. And that's when I created my master class and really leaned into becoming a dating coach. And now I don't do any of my previous business and travel, and I'm full time as a dating coach, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love it. [00:13:29] Speaker D: Wow. Congrats to you. [00:13:31] Speaker B: Yes, congrats. [00:13:32] Speaker D: Yes. Glad you jumped out there. [00:13:34] Speaker E: Sometimes you need that. You need no other option, no alternative. I was like, Well, I need a job. [00:13:42] Speaker B: So the process of becoming a dating coach, I don't know if we've asked anybody, is there any education you have to go through? [00:13:51] Speaker E: I mean, there are programs like certifications that you can do, but ultimately, I think what makes somebody a good dating coach is, can you get your clients results, and are you helping people get to where they want to be? And so that's when people ask, what are your credentials? How did you become that? I'm like, I got men results, and I continue to do that. So I've done a lot of reading on the subject. I love reading books about psychology, just listening, even to podcasts about relationships, and about just what makes people tick. And then combined with my own experience dating, my friends experience dating, working with men over the course of ten years, that's where I gather my inspiration and my knowledge from. [00:14:37] Speaker D: Okay, Blaine, thank you. Now I have the serious question. I'm coming with the hardball questions. [00:14:42] Speaker E: Okay, bring it on. [00:14:44] Speaker D: Why men? [00:14:45] Speaker B: That was my question. See, it was yeah, that was my question, but you got it. [00:14:49] Speaker D: Okay. Why men? You had to get credit in my question, but got it. [00:14:55] Speaker B: You got it. You got it. [00:14:56] Speaker D: Okay. [00:14:58] Speaker E: Men and women, I get actually hit up by women often. They're like, oh, do you work with women? Men and women have very different challenges dating. [00:15:06] Speaker D: Okay. [00:15:06] Speaker E: And I think when I got into it, women are much more open to talking about their problems, in my opinion, to seeking help. It's less stigmatized. And there's actually a lot of dating coaches out there already for women helping because women are seeking it out. Women are proactive about that, and men are much less so, especially even ten years ago, talking about their feelings, going to therapy. And so I saw an opportunity there, like, let's destigmatize asking for help and asking for help with women. And that's kind of why I went that direction. I also feel like I am helping women by helping men. I want to help the women. I know my friends have more options because guys know how to approach them and know how to relate to them. So I help women by helping men get better at understanding women. [00:15:58] Speaker A: And that's so appreciated. [00:16:03] Speaker E: I'm here doing my best. [00:16:05] Speaker D: Okay, well, keep up the fight of a good faith. And we're fighting it also. We're trying to help people. I give people advice, too. [00:16:13] Speaker E: Yeah, this is an amazing podcast. I love it. Anything where you're talking to different types of people, bringing out different opinions, I think is moving forward in helping people find what they're looking for and figure. [00:16:25] Speaker D: Out who they now, Blaine Do said men who you help hit on you. [00:16:33] Speaker E: Not by paying clients. I think he's going to go through with hiring a dating coach and paying them. They're serious about wanting to find love and wanting to figure out how to be better themselves, and they aren't doing it because they want to shoot their shot with somebody who's in a relationship and has made it very clear they aren't interested. So all of my clients are very respectful of that. [00:17:02] Speaker D: Good. Okay. [00:17:03] Speaker E: When you're putting yourself out there online to the masses, I get plenty of DMs a day. Want to go on a date? It's like, no. I actually have a guide about how to approach women on Instagram, and you clearly haven't read that guide if you're sending me a blind DM, asking me out. So I usually just reply and send them that guide. [00:17:27] Speaker D: Oh, okay. [00:17:28] Speaker C: Well, good marketing. [00:17:29] Speaker D: Tell Deshaun Watson to stay out. Your. [00:17:35] Speaker C: Question do you find that a lot of men are entitled, that they feel like women are supposed to just respond to them? [00:17:45] Speaker E: I wouldn't necessarily say a lot of men, but some men, absolutely, they get in their feelings or they feel despondent or sad because they think I'm not getting results, and women aren't even replying to me. And it's like, but are you actually putting in effort? Have you taken the time to understand if you're doing the right things to make women want to respond to you and to be attracted to you? And the answer is, if you're feeling that way, usually no, they haven't taken the time to really? Okay, what can I do better? How am I contributing to this cycle of not getting responses or the results that I want? [00:18:26] Speaker D: Okay, I have a question. I'm probably more traditional. I believe in meeting women if I was single in real life, real time, walking up to them, talking to them. So you're teaching a new modern style of dating because it sounds like there's a lot of online, lot of texting. [00:18:48] Speaker C: He's a dinosaur. [00:18:49] Speaker D: Yeah. I tell men, don't text, don't text, don't text too much. [00:18:53] Speaker E: I am absolutely a big proponent of meeting women in real life. Okay, that is the number one. You have such a quicker feedback loop. There are so many benefits to meeting women in person, but the reality is a lot, even if you meet somebody in person, there is still an online texting component that is going to go into it, setting up dates. Like, women are just going to expect that. So I do also teach that, and then I also teach online dating. So it's a spectrum. I think that if you are interested in dating and you are wanting to meet women and you want to meet someone that is special, you should be pursuing online and offline. Offline should be your bread and butter. That should be where you focus the majority of your time. Because as you live your life offline, you're at the grocery store, you're going to a yoga class, you're partaking in activities that interest you. Those are all opportunities to connect with like minded women or individuals. You can't miss those opportunities, but you have a whole nother segment of women that you can also meet online. So that's kind of like the bonus. Don't only focus offline and don't only focus online. How can you integrate them both? Because that's going to give you the best ODS of expanding your network and meeting somebody who you connect with. [00:20:06] Speaker B: So it's about the numbers game? [00:20:09] Speaker E: Yes. Dating is about numbers and doing the right things at the right time. But you have to be putting yourself in front of a lot of people if you want to find the one, if that's what you're looking for. Even if you want to just have fun dating, the more people you meet, the more chances you have at doing that. [00:20:26] Speaker D: Isn't that frowned upon from women? [00:20:28] Speaker C: No. [00:20:29] Speaker D: Numbers, they kind of want you to themselves. [00:20:33] Speaker C: No, that's not dating. [00:20:36] Speaker E: Yeah. I think it should be expected that if you meet somebody, there's no expectation that you're only dating that one person until you have a conversation about that. And I'm all about communicating in conversations early on because this is the problem men have, at least the men I work with. A common problem I see is that they overinvest. So that means they are fixated on this one specific woman that they actually don't even know that well, maybe they've just matched online or they've talked to her once or they've been on one date. You do not know enough about that woman at that point in time that you should be emotionally invested in her. So one way to kind of stop that emotional overinvestment is keep your options open, be meeting other people until you can really determine that, okay, we actually have a lot in common. We share values. I can see this going someplace that's when you can emotionally invest and there's different levels of emotional when it is appropriate to emotionally overinvest, depending on the stage of your relationship. [00:21:39] Speaker D: Well, do men actually decide when they start dating a woman? Because women kind of just kind of put their foot down. I wasn't given an option. I've never been given an option. It was like, I'm not going to keep doing this. And I'm like, what? Enjoying ourselves? Having a good time? Being around a fabulous guy? They're like, no, I'm not that kind of woman. And then I got a girlfriend. [00:22:04] Speaker E: Yeah. And then that's the point where you stop dating other people after one date. [00:22:11] Speaker D: Not after one date. [00:22:12] Speaker E: Yeah, that's going to be three, four, maybe five dates. When you start becoming physical, that's a time to have those conversations. And it's going to be different in every relationship, like where each person's boundary is in terms of what they want, what they expect of the other person. And I think if you can communicate about those things up front, even if it is maybe her saying me or the highway. [00:22:36] Speaker D: Yeah, that's kind of it kind of how I went. Well, how do you break the touch barrier? Because you say getting physical by the third or fifth date. So we moving kind of fast here. [00:22:46] Speaker C: No. [00:22:47] Speaker D: What's the appropriate way to get past the touch barrier? [00:22:50] Speaker E: Kind of breaking the touch barrier even on the first date, in a small way. So touching her hand while you're talking, touching her elbow while you're sitting at the table, maybe guiding her to the seat, and you graze her lower back, this all sets you that helps you build the romantic chemistry. It helps you lead up to a kiss. And that might be the first day, that might be the third day. That kiss helps you lead up to being more physical if you've never touched her, and then you go for a kiss. Whoa. [00:23:20] Speaker D: Okay. [00:23:21] Speaker E: She's going to be caught off guard. But if you've been touching her knee and flirting with her and joking and your arms are leaning against each other because you're sitting at the bar, then it helps set you up naturally to escalate things physically. [00:23:37] Speaker D: I didn't know that until you said it, but that's what I do. So yousef did you hear what? Because I'm in a relationship and I did those things. So if you do those things one step closer and she deals with men so I can't address this to need. [00:23:50] Speaker B: No, I'm taking this all in. [00:23:52] Speaker D: Okay. [00:23:52] Speaker B: I'm taking it all in. [00:23:53] Speaker D: Because you don't want to be a creep. [00:23:54] Speaker B: I'm here for it. Oh, no, we're going to talk about creeps later. Okay. [00:23:59] Speaker D: Don't be a creep. Okay. [00:24:00] Speaker B: Now, I do have a question. You said we're going to change gears a little bit. You said that in one of your posts, you talked about postponement as it relates to men. Well, can you expound on that a little bit? What exactly is it and how does it relate to dating? You said about guys postponing what they want to do because they said they have to do it with somebody. [00:24:26] Speaker E: Yes. So a mistake I often see men make is they wait to take action in their lives to invest in that trip they've been wanting to take to buy tickets to the concert because they think, oh, this would be better if I just I'll just wait and do it. When I have a partner, I want to share this experience with someone else. That is silly. Not only are you not appreciating how fun it can be to do things on your own, which is an important part of being single, but second, those are all opportunities where you could meet a like minded person at these events that you want to do, taking part in these trips that you've been dreaming of. If you meet people on those things, those are going to be people who have similar interests to you. So don't wait around to have fun and do special things until you have a partner. Invest in yourself, in the here and now, and the partner will follow. [00:25:20] Speaker D: Okay. Blaine well, let me ask you a question. Now, let me give you a scenario. Let's say there's a man, a large man, six five, enjoying himself at a Beyonce concert by himself as a woman. You won't think that's weird. Or maybe an Adele concert. No, you can't go with a guy. [00:25:43] Speaker E: Why not? [00:25:45] Speaker D: No, Blaine. It's Pride Month. But come on now. Come on. We don't do that. [00:25:52] Speaker E: No, maybe it's not a Beyonce concert. [00:25:55] Speaker D: Okay. [00:25:56] Speaker E: You can do things on your own or with friends. Maybe it's not Beyonce if you're okay with you. [00:26:04] Speaker C: Beyonce and Jay Z. [00:26:06] Speaker D: No, maybe, I don't know. [00:26:09] Speaker B: I guess Jay Z would have to be there for that to happen. We're getting off the rails. [00:26:13] Speaker D: Yeah, but he would be second fiddle, so it'd still be a Beyonce Gonzalez. [00:26:16] Speaker B: Well, that's true, too. [00:26:17] Speaker D: So that's kind of weird, right? Not weird, but that's a little you. [00:26:23] Speaker C: Kind of look at him if you're in the front row and whether he's. [00:26:26] Speaker D: Really enjoying himself, like he's getting it. Yes. [00:26:31] Speaker E: It might not be where you're meeting women, but I'm still a fan of you investing your resources and time in anything that is going to bring you joy. If you're going to go to a Beyonce concert and you love Beyonce and you're going to jam out, I don't really care what the people around you think, like, why is this six five guy on a Beyonce concert? Who cares? You're having the time of your life. Good for you. That's going to put you in a good mood and in a better position to meet people, even if it's not in that moment. [00:27:00] Speaker D: So are you advising to do that or not to do that? [00:27:04] Speaker E: I've come full circle. [00:27:06] Speaker D: No, don't do it. [00:27:07] Speaker C: Do what you want to do. [00:27:09] Speaker B: No, but that kind of ties into something else. You said later. You said that traveling, especially during this summer, would be a great way to meet people. In one of your posts, you said, because people are clamoring to get out because this is like the first full summer since the pandemic. And so you'll be able to meet people. And not only that, when you come home, you'll have something to talk to people about. [00:27:36] Speaker E: Absolutely. Traveling is a great I know so many couples who have met traveling. I actually just had a couple. I was traveling, I was in Croatia. I met this woman Sarah. She was traveling by herself. We became friends. We were out at a bar. She met this guy who lived in London, and that was a year and a half ago. They just got engaged. [00:27:56] Speaker D: Wow. [00:27:57] Speaker E: I think when people are traveling, whether they're traveling alone or with a group of friends, they're so much more open to meeting other people. You're not in your routine. You're not just on your way to work, going to the coffee shop in your head, your eyes are up, you're looking around, you're having a good time. Hopefully you are going to be less guarded and more open to making connections. So traveling is a great way to meet people. It's also not weird to be on your own when you're traveling. You can eat at a bar by yourself. You can be at a hotel in a hostel environment. You can be going on group tours, and you can be solo. You can be doing airbnb experiences, whether it's a cooking class. It's not weird to be on your own. It's a good opportunity to meet people. [00:28:41] Speaker D: Let me be the devil's advocate here for a second. What happened? When the day can't we just go back to the old days when men just used to lie about traveling and doing stuff? [00:28:51] Speaker C: Why lie? [00:28:53] Speaker D: It's cheaper. All you have to do is make the woman seem that you're interesting, and then you can do your research on the Internet, say, a couple restaurants, a street, a bakery, until she asks you. [00:29:05] Speaker E: Yeah, you can't pull off long, like, oh, yeah, that time I went to Rome and you've never actually been to Rome, you're just going to like I. [00:29:11] Speaker D: Was thinking a little more domestic. Yeah, okay. It's cheaper just to say I had the experience. Okay. I'm just checking for those guys who might just want to go old school and lie. [00:29:32] Speaker E: Well, it doesn't have to yeah. I'm never going to be a fan of lying. I cannot condone that. [00:29:38] Speaker D: But it doesn't be travel. [00:29:40] Speaker E: If travel isn't something that interests you or you don't have the finances to be traveling across the country or across the world, it can be that you love exploring new pizza places in your city and every single weekend you eat at a new pizza place because you're going to find the best one in New York, or whatever it may be. It's finding what you can connect with people on how you like to spend your time, and then talking about that, learning how to market that. That's something that you're going to be able to connect with women on, converse with them about on dates. It doesn't really actually matter what it is. It's just that you have something. No one wants to date a guy who has nothing going on. [00:30:19] Speaker D: Well, Blaine, in today's society, that gives broke. You don't want to project broke. You don't want to give no signs of the money shortage. [00:30:30] Speaker B: Okay. [00:30:31] Speaker E: I had a friend who texted me the other day, and I said, how was the first date? She was like, well, he told me about his debt. [00:30:38] Speaker D: Oh, wow, that's broke boy. [00:30:44] Speaker E: She showed me his hinge already. He's cute. He has a good job. He looked like a smart guy. He's talking about his debt on date number one. [00:30:55] Speaker D: He should have. [00:30:58] Speaker C: Given too much information. [00:31:00] Speaker D: Oh, you don't bring it. [00:31:02] Speaker B: Saying he needed dating by Blaine. That's all it is. Yes. Well, Blaine, I have a question CL has answered this time and time again on our episode, on our show. But I would like for you to give us the. Answer. What do women oh, first of all. [00:31:20] Speaker C: CL can't answer that for you. [00:31:22] Speaker B: No, CL has an answer to I've. [00:31:24] Speaker D: Answered a question but feeling we're going. [00:31:27] Speaker E: To have different answers. [00:31:28] Speaker D: You want me to give mine first or no? [00:31:30] Speaker E: No, I'll give mine. [00:31:31] Speaker D: Okay. [00:31:32] Speaker B: She's like, no, go ahead. [00:31:37] Speaker E: That's the million dollar question, right? If every guy could just understand and implement what women want because I have no clue job. So lucky for me, guys just don't get it because I think a problem that they have is they think they know what women want. Are you familiar with the phrase six? Six in regards to what women want? Have you guys heard that? [00:31:59] Speaker B: I have not. [00:32:00] Speaker D: That's market obese, isn't it? [00:32:03] Speaker E: There's an internet meme and guys bring this up to me all the time. They say women only want guys who are 6ft tall, who have six pack ABS and have a six figure income. Okay? That's what they think. And this is incorrect. [00:32:18] Speaker D: It's incorrect. [00:32:19] Speaker E: Given the choice, all else equal, does she want a rich guy or a poor guy? She wants a rich guy. Does she want a guy who's more in shape or less in shape? More in shape. But the thing that guys get wrong is women care a lot more about what it feels like to spend time with you than the tangible things like your height and your appearance. I actually would argue that men care much more about those tangible things than women do. Women care about are you fun to spend time with? Do you make her feel desired and sexy? And do you feel like a catch? Dating is aspirational for everybody, okay? Nobody wants to date somebody that they perceive to be less intelligent, less funny and less successful than they are. No. Everybody wants to date up. So are you marketing yourself that women perceive you as a catch? Those are learnable skills. You can learn to have fun with women. You can learn to make them feel desired and you can learn to market yourself as a catch. And that's actually really what I teach men how to do. That's what women want and that's what I teach men how to do in my master class and in my. [00:33:32] Speaker D: Now, did did you answer the question? What women want? [00:33:36] Speaker E: What women want? [00:33:37] Speaker D: Okay, you did answer the question. Now I'm going to give you my answer now. Lana, I want you to keep a straight face when I tell you this, okay? [00:33:44] Speaker C: Good luck. [00:33:45] Speaker D: Ask me the question. [00:33:48] Speaker E: What do women everything see? [00:33:53] Speaker D: Look at you and you know it's right? [00:33:56] Speaker E: I don't think that's right. [00:33:58] Speaker D: No compromises? No, the answer is actually more whatever you offer, they just want more of it. If it's a good time, a laugh, a smile could be sexual, it could be financial. They just want more. [00:34:12] Speaker C: Once you give us one laugh, we want more laughs. Once you give us a good time, we want more good time. [00:34:16] Speaker D: Exactly. [00:34:17] Speaker C: But is that wrong if I give you a good time? Don't you want more of that good time? [00:34:22] Speaker D: No, I'm going to enjoy the good time I had with you and be appreciative of it. [00:34:26] Speaker C: And they want more of it later. [00:34:27] Speaker D: On down the line, but not while we're still enjoying the first one women. Midway through the meal, they're like, I can't wait to go out of dinner again. Can you finish eating, please? Let me pay the bill. Tell me this on Tuesday, if you. [00:34:41] Speaker E: Have girls just wanting more women wanting more from you, I want more dates with you. That's a good thing. [00:34:46] Speaker D: I know. I just have one woman who wants more dates. I just have one woman. Blaine, we have to be really careful. One woman. [00:34:52] Speaker C: But that means she likes spending time with you. She likes doing these things with you. [00:34:56] Speaker D: But in the middle of it. [00:34:58] Speaker C: Yes. That's letting you know that she plans on doing this more times with you. [00:35:05] Speaker D: Could she pay? [00:35:06] Speaker E: That's a good thing. I have plenty of clients who would love to have women. They're one woman. [00:35:11] Speaker D: Even one woman. One woman wanting more of them. Okay. [00:35:17] Speaker E: That means you're doing something right. [00:35:20] Speaker D: I'm going to have to put you on a call with her. Please let her know. [00:35:28] Speaker B: So with CL's lady wanting more of him, would you say it's due to him being his authentic. [00:35:37] Speaker E: Mean without being a fly on the know? I can't say for certain, but I would say that you're certainly not I would venture to say you're not being inauthentic if you have a quality woman wanting more of you. Being your authentic self is an important piece of attracting quality women. The thing that men get wrong is they think they need to act a certain way or be somebody they're not to attract women, when actually, what they need to do is stop worrying about what other people expect of them and lean into the things that they love about themselves and that they love doing. And that, in turn, will attract women. [00:36:22] Speaker B: What would you tell a client that you know for a fact they're just not being their authentic self? How can you usher them into embracing who they are and being their authentic self? Because, like you said, some people believe that some guys I think it's more so guys than women believe that I have to show myself to be something to attract this woman. So what is it that you would tell? [00:36:46] Speaker E: You do need to show who you are. You need to be able to talk about yourself and you need to be able to market yourself. And that's something I get into. But there's not one size fits all for that because there are the big picture things that I said women want. They want a guy who feels like a catch. They want a guy who's fun. But that's going to be different for every guy because not all men are going to be a catch because they're super successful in a prestigious career. That might be true for some men, but other men might be a catch because they are super passionate about a volunteer project they do. It's finding what makes you happy and what you actually like and then learning how to communicate about those things. So stepping back, it's forgetting, okay, women want me to be like this. Women want me to be good at XYZ. And if women didn't exist, how would you want to spend your time? What would you want to be doing? And lean into those things. You don't need to make up some hobbies or make up that you've been someplace to make women like you. [00:37:54] Speaker D: It works sometimes. I heard I wouldn't do it, but I heard it. [00:37:58] Speaker C: What she's saying is being yourself and liking who you are is going to attract women who you like. [00:38:05] Speaker D: Okay. [00:38:05] Speaker E: Exactly. Okay. [00:38:06] Speaker D: That's for all our single guys on there. Yeah. And once you become that and I. [00:38:13] Speaker E: Think because and part of that being your authentic self, if you're not being your authentic self, that might work in the short term. You might be able to attract some women and get a date or even get something else that you're looking for. But if you're looking for long term success and long term compatibility and shared values, you're not going to do that by pretending to be somebody that you're not. [00:38:36] Speaker D: So that's not good advice. [00:38:39] Speaker E: What the pretending? [00:38:40] Speaker D: Yeah. What if you practice it a lot? [00:38:46] Speaker E: I also don't think anyone is going to be happy if you're constantly pretending to be somebody or not. [00:38:52] Speaker D: Yeah. So I gave you guys bad advice. [00:38:55] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:38:58] Speaker D: Okay, that's fair. [00:38:59] Speaker C: And then you're going to jump to the next woman and jump to the next woman because you're going to always have to pretend, and then you're not going to be able to pretend for so long. [00:39:08] Speaker B: Okay. So we would say pretending is a challenge, maybe for dating. [00:39:13] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:39:14] Speaker D: You shouldn't pretend. [00:39:15] Speaker B: Shouldn't pretend. So going into this new season of It's June, sun's out, fun's out, what are some dating challenges, Blaine, that you believe are out there for dating during the summertime? [00:39:30] Speaker E: Well, I think that it's actually intuitive here. It's summer, it's hot. People are traveling. People are doing things. People are wearing less clothes. Get outside. Then make the mistake of thinking, like, oh, I'm going to find her online. Not in the summer, you're not. I don't have any proven data around this, but just when I open my eyes and look around, my girlfriends aren't dating online right now. They're hanging out with each other. They're at the park. They're going on trips. So look up from your phone, close your computer, and walk out your front door and look around and smile at people and go do things that you enjoy, and you will meet people doing those things. And that's the best way to date in the summertime. [00:40:11] Speaker B: Just a change. The change is to just get out. [00:40:13] Speaker C: Just go to brunch. [00:40:17] Speaker D: I don't want to say what you're saying, but online dating is a winter sport. [00:40:24] Speaker E: More than it is a summer sport. [00:40:26] Speaker D: Okay. I'm never going to be there, but I'm just trying to get clarity for the people out here because there's somebody listening now that wants to know that, okay, wow. [00:40:36] Speaker E: Even more. I'm always a fan of leaning into the offline. No matter the season, but especially in the summer, there are simply going to be less women dating online. And I feel that that's true even just from talking to my girlfriends who are single. It's Saturday, they aren't online, or they aren't swiping on their dating apps on their couch because it's snowing outside. They are out there meeting people. They're doing things. [00:41:02] Speaker D: Okay, now your same advice applies. Let's say a person refuses to do online. The same information you're given is the kind of information you would give them, but they would just have to incorporate it year round because can a guy have that success without having the online experience? [00:41:18] Speaker E: Yeah, you can. Like I said, I'm always a fan. Why miss out on the online? Because you do have a larger pool of people that you can meet or see faster, and they're already pre qualified. You know they're single and you know they're looking to date. When you meet people in real life, whether it's at the park, at the bar, at an event, you don't actually know if this person's single. You don't know if they are looking to date. You don't know a lot of things about them. That doesn't mean you shouldn't approach them and get to know them. But for that reason, I think it's a shame to miss out on the online aspect in addition to in real life. [00:41:57] Speaker D: Okay. Because guys don't lie online, do they? They don't lie online, do they? They don't lie when they type in. Okay, lines back. It's made a resurgence. Okay, line is back. [00:42:10] Speaker E: Guys don't lie online and in person. [00:42:12] Speaker D: Okay. [00:42:14] Speaker E: I'm not going to tell you to do that. [00:42:16] Speaker D: Okay, good advice. That's solid advice. Solid advice. [00:42:19] Speaker B: Okay, you talk a little bit about how not to be a creep. [00:42:25] Speaker D: Creep talk. [00:42:26] Speaker B: Now, I read an article that you have here. It says research states that 69% of men said that their fear of being seen as a creep impacts how they interact with women. And 44% say fear of being labeled creepy reduces the likelihood they interact with women, romantically or otherwise. Why do you think those numbers are so high? [00:42:50] Speaker E: Yeah, so I find the creepy topic really interesting because as you just stated, it is holding people back from potentially meeting somebody that they're interested in. And the reality is women want to meet awesome single guys. And so to know that awesome single guys aren't approaching, aren't talking to people because they're worried about being creepy is really a shame. [00:43:15] Speaker D: Okay? [00:43:15] Speaker E: And I think it is so high because it's talked about a lot in the media. And I often feel like the guys who are actually worried about being creepy aren't the ones who are going to be creepy. It's the guys who have no concept that they might be coming off as creepy that are the ones who are actually doing the creepy behaviors. [00:43:37] Speaker D: Okay? Because I have a question. Is the level of creepiness according to if she's attracted to him or not, somebody unattractive can do something and it's creepy. And then someone she's attracted to could do it and it's cool, he's on the edge. But isn't it all creepy? [00:44:03] Speaker E: Sorry? [00:44:04] Speaker D: Isn't it all creepy? [00:44:06] Speaker E: I think here the majority of creepy behaviors boil down to not respecting women's boundaries. [00:44:12] Speaker D: Okay? [00:44:13] Speaker E: So even if a guy who she doesn't find attractive or is unattractive approaches her, if he respects her boundary and looks for the signs that she's not interested and then moves on, he's not going to be creepy. Most likely just for saying hello or just for trying to engage with her. When you get labeled creepy is when you don't pay attention to the signs that she's not reciprocating and move on. If she is not proactively, reciprocating your interest. Especially if this is somebody who you don't know and you're approaching in a social or even in a business environment, she is probably not interested and you should move on. You should not try and convince her to like you. You should not try and find her on social media. Instead there are the obvious creepy things that unwanted comments about her body, cat calling, physical docking. Most people know that these are creepy. Those are like they happen still. But most guys with good intentions know that they are creepy. The thing that I find more interesting is the guys who have good intentions but are doing things that get them put into the creepy category. And the prime example of this is digital stalking or just inappropriate contact online. [00:45:32] Speaker D: Inappropriate contact. So that's emojis or just saying something or DMs. [00:45:40] Speaker E: But I think the most common example and that I see really often that gets guys pegged is creepy is you meet a woman in the environment could be, again, social or maybe in a business context, maybe she's at work and then there isn't a clear connection or there isn't any communication in person about continuing the conversation online or about following up. But then the guy goes out of his way to find this person online and pursue her there when he didn't do it in person. Listen, I don't want to discourage guys from asking for a woman's phone number, asking for her Instagram or her email, wherever it is you want to continue the conversation. If you have a connection, absolutely ask. She might say no, but you've given her the opportunity to say yes. If you don't give her that opportunity to say yes or no and make the decision for herself, and then you track her down online, that is when it comes off as creepy. [00:46:38] Speaker D: So maybe the guy just thinks she's being hard to get, because that used to be a thing, like, in the 70s, early 80s. [00:46:45] Speaker C: Because when guys approach me sometimes, if I know they can find me on social media because I'm not hard to find, I'll say, no, we meet again. Or if you find me, or if you want me, come and find me. [00:46:57] Speaker D: What? [00:46:58] Speaker B: Wait a minute. [00:47:00] Speaker E: That's a clear indication of interest. Or that you're giving them permission to. [00:47:04] Speaker D: Come find you and you're right in front of me. But if you're right in front of me, why do I have to come find you? [00:47:09] Speaker C: It's easy for me to just give you my number. You really want me for you to. [00:47:15] Speaker E: Give the number, but you're still giving an indication of interest by saying, okay, find me online if you want. That's kind of a flirty challenge, in my opinion. [00:47:24] Speaker D: Oh, that's new age flirt. That's 2022 flirting. Okay. I'm just not familiar with it. Yes. If somebody told me that and I was dating, I would say, she's a creep. I'm not finding you online if you're in front of me. Okay. [00:47:43] Speaker B: So you went over some of the signs that you have, like, physical stalking. What's the other one? It was Internet stalking, digital stalking. Unwanted stares is one controlling men can't even stare anymore. [00:48:01] Speaker C: Uncomfortable when you just sitting there looking at somebody like this. [00:48:05] Speaker E: So this is some of the data. So I actually did a survey of I don't have it in front of. [00:48:11] Speaker B: Me, but I got you. [00:48:11] Speaker E: You do? Of thousands of women of what they consider creepy and the creepy behaviors they've experienced and the percentage yeah, and those were up there. [00:48:23] Speaker B: Unwanted stares. 51%. [00:48:26] Speaker D: I don't stare, but I thought a man least could stare. [00:48:30] Speaker B: Wow. [00:48:32] Speaker E: It's one thing to make eye contact. It's another thing to not break that eye contact and stare where she looks away and she looks back and you're still looking at her, especially you're trying. [00:48:45] Speaker C: To have that sexy face. [00:48:48] Speaker B: Giving her the eye lick. Your lips got a controlling behaviors. Was 23%. Unwillingness to accept? No. [00:48:57] Speaker D: What is controlling behaviors? [00:49:00] Speaker E: Blaine I think that would fall again, this is from the survey data, but it would fall more into the category of once you're already sort of dating or you've met this person, like, I don't want you going there, or I don't want you talking to that person, is how I would interpret controlling behaviors. That's not so much a problem of being creepy when you've just met somebody. [00:49:22] Speaker D: Blaine these women are something else. Wow. Jesus. [00:49:28] Speaker B: Something else. Unwillingness to accept? No, that was 22%. [00:49:33] Speaker E: That's a big one. And that's something I talk about a lot. When you're meeting somebody in what I call a high stigma environment. So a high stigma environment is someplace that someone might not want to say yes to, going on a date with you because they could suffer negative consequences. So maybe you both work at this place, or you live in the same apartment building. [00:49:53] Speaker D: Okay. [00:49:53] Speaker E: Or it's a cafe that she's a barista, or it's the gym. She's going to see you again in these places. So she is going to be less likely to just say yes to giving her phone number or a date because the repercussions, if things don't go well, are higher. And so in these places especially, it's not that you can't meet women in them, but you cannot ask more than once. So my biggest thing is you need to form a connection, a strong connection first, likely over multiple occasions prior to asking her out, because you only get one chance, man. [00:50:34] Speaker D: Okay. Yeah. [00:50:35] Speaker B: You only get one shot at that. One bite at the apple, unwanted physical contact. 19%. [00:50:42] Speaker E: That one's obvious. [00:50:43] Speaker B: Yeah, that's obvious. Pressure. [00:50:46] Speaker C: Don't just touch me. [00:50:47] Speaker D: Hold on a second. Now, Blaine, you said you got to break the touch barrier. First date. [00:50:50] Speaker C: First date. [00:50:51] Speaker D: Oh, a date. Okay. [00:50:54] Speaker E: They're probably going to be okay with you touching their elbow. [00:50:57] Speaker D: Okay, I get it. [00:50:58] Speaker E: Or on the bus. I don't want you touching my elbow. I don't know. [00:51:02] Speaker C: Come here, girl. [00:51:03] Speaker D: Yeah. Okay. [00:51:06] Speaker E: Happens a lot at bars and at clubs. I've experienced that where a guy is walking behind you and then puts their hands on your waist or something, and that is so creepy. [00:51:16] Speaker C: Especially somebody ugly. [00:51:18] Speaker E: Yeah, that's very bad. [00:51:20] Speaker D: Wow. [00:51:21] Speaker B: Okay. Extremely bad. This one is bad, too. Pressure to engage in sexual activity. [00:51:28] Speaker D: What? [00:51:28] Speaker B: 18%. [00:51:30] Speaker C: Pressuring them. [00:51:32] Speaker D: Pressure. [00:51:34] Speaker E: And I think that's probably not somebody that you don't know, but that could be somebody that you've just met if you're out, if you're at a party or if you're at a bar or even if you've been on a date, even giving any sort of like oh, come on. Like inviting them back to your place and they decline just for one drink. Okay. That would fall under the pressure. [00:51:56] Speaker D: And that's creepy, too, right? [00:51:58] Speaker E: Absolutely. [00:51:59] Speaker B: Yeah, I would hope so. [00:52:01] Speaker C: Or telling them that you're not going to pay for the meal. [00:52:06] Speaker D: That's wrong. I'm asking. I'm not agreeing. I'm just asking. [00:52:11] Speaker C: But it's the fact that you have to ask. [00:52:14] Speaker D: Okay. [00:52:15] Speaker E: No, you know that okay, well, you would say, oh, I'm not going to pay for the meal if you don't come home with me. [00:52:22] Speaker D: Are you talking to 19 year old me or me as an adult now? Because I may have told you that at 19, I may be guilty of that. No. But I do agree with you, Neek and Blaine. But should a man even be asking for sex? Isn't it more like a gift? [00:52:44] Speaker C: A gift? [00:52:45] Speaker D: Like, the woman has to be in a position to say, I would like to have sex with you. Because if you have to ask, then that's probably she should give you the choosing signs. [00:52:57] Speaker E: Yeah. Well, so part of that is, I think if you're ever unsure about what a woman wants when it comes to physical contact, you should always ask. Don't just pursue it. Don't just go for it if you feel uncertain that she wants something. People always say, I get pushback online when I say unsure. If she wants you to kiss her, ask. And people are like, that kills the mood. You can't ask for a kiss. If asking to kiss her kills the mood, there was no mood to begin with. You can absolutely ask for physical contact in a sexy way. Consent is never a turn off. [00:53:36] Speaker D: So you shouldn't just move your face towards her. [00:53:39] Speaker E: Face is what you tell you can. And what I say then is, but you should have, again, been testing the waters in advance. Have you been touching her throughout the day? [00:53:47] Speaker D: Okay. [00:53:49] Speaker E: It's not so black and white. You have to be looking for the signs throughout. If you're standing this close to her, four inches away, she's probably okay kissing you. And what I tell guys then is go 90% of the way and let her go the last 10% of the way. You don't have to ask. But if you're in a situation where you really don't know, there's nothing wrong with saying, I've had a great time, and I'm really enjoying just being with you. May I give you a kiss, or can I kiss you good night? [00:54:19] Speaker D: Okay. [00:54:20] Speaker E: That could be hot. You're standing a few inches away from her. You're making eye contact. Your bodies are close. [00:54:26] Speaker D: Okay. [00:54:27] Speaker C: Just don't go in for it and ask why you're going in for it. [00:54:30] Speaker E: Because at the same time, it needs to be a clear like, it needs. [00:54:36] Speaker D: To be a clear runway while you're. [00:54:38] Speaker C: Trying to bring her in. No. [00:54:39] Speaker D: Okay. [00:54:43] Speaker B: I don't think guys really know when they're doing this clinginess. [00:54:50] Speaker E: That is true. So that goes back to the emotional overinvestment that I mentioned earlier. And that's when the clinginess or neediness usually surfaces or manifests if you are overinvested, which means your level in investment is too high compared to how long you've known this woman or how much you know about her, that is often when you come off as clingy. So that could even be at a bar and you just met this woman, you've hit it off. And instead of just hitting it off and moving on and then maybe circling back and getting her number, you feel like you have to monopolize her attention for the entire evening. That comes off as creepy. [00:55:30] Speaker C: I like buying her a drink. And now you feel like she owes you the entire night. [00:55:34] Speaker E: Yeah. You're entitled to her time. And I think that goes back to the date, the buying dinner. If you are making a gesture to a woman, whether it's buying her dinner or paying her a compliment, it needs to be done without expectations. [00:55:48] Speaker B: Okay, that makes sense. [00:55:50] Speaker D: That makes a lot of sense. [00:55:52] Speaker B: I think the last one you had on there was our physical stalking at 10%. I think that's a given. Yeah, that's a given. I think we're showing up at her. [00:56:00] Speaker E: Place of work, waiting outside of her apartment building. [00:56:04] Speaker B: Those things are all the pop up. The pop up pop up is creepy. [00:56:10] Speaker D: Blaine, I have a question to ask you, and it's more of a new age question or new thing. Are you familiar with the ick? The ick, okay. I am a man of a certain age, and I think I understand it, but I don't think my co host know what that is. [00:56:29] Speaker B: No, wait, what? [00:56:30] Speaker D: The ick. The ick. Don't look it up. I'm not looking it up. Okay, well, we're going to let Blaine explain it to us because, see, I'm a man of I got a lot of oh, but I'm not always sure about the knowledge. [00:56:44] Speaker E: The ick has always been around, and now it's just being defined as what it is. It's when a man or a woman does something that is just a turn off, and it's usually hard to get over it. So it could be something like, minor even like, oh, he gave me the ick because he was chewing with his mouth open, and it was just, like, so foul. Or it could be like, he gave me the ick because he was talking about his debt on a first date. [00:57:11] Speaker D: Okay. [00:57:11] Speaker E: Actually, when I told you my girlfriend went on that date, and she was like, he talked about his debt, that's exactly how she phrased it when she text me. She said, he gave me the ick because he was talking about his debt, how in debt he was on the first date. [00:57:26] Speaker D: Okay, so you all familiar with the ick is now? [00:57:29] Speaker B: Yes. [00:57:29] Speaker D: Okay. [00:57:30] Speaker B: Yes, we are. [00:57:31] Speaker D: Okay. I just want to bring everybody up to speed. [00:57:34] Speaker B: A question to build on. Top that. Do you find that your friends has this ever happened to you? Because the question just popped in my head. Do you find that your friends may have had a guy that had potential, but he might have needed your help, and so they referred them to you just so that they could get back a better version? [00:57:50] Speaker E: All the time. I have girls who are like, oh, I went on a date, or girlfriends who are like, I went on a date with this guy, and he was actually a really nice guy, but he needs your course. He needs your help all the time. But they usually don't directly say, like, hey, I liked you, but you should probably take this course. I think people have a hard time being direct in general, and that's why ghosting happens and that's why breadcrumbing happens, is because people don't have the ability to communicate, oftentimes directly and clearly, especially with people they don't know well. But it's something I hear all the. [00:58:27] Speaker B: Oh, so what is OOH breadcrumbing is. [00:58:32] Speaker E: When essentially a man or a woman will just give little bits of attention. So text here and there or a reaction to an Instagram story to keep the other person just interested enough, just engaged enough, but they actually don't have the intention of moving forward or dating them or going on a date with them. And I see this happen all the time. Women and men both do it, but I work with men. A guy will tell me, oh, this woman, we went on one date and we've been talking since, but she takes four days to respond. But then she comments on my story, and then she'll ask me a question about this, and then I don't hear from her again for four days. And I'm like, she likes the attention. You are validating her when you reply and when you give her the answer, and when you answer her. But she's made her intentions clear. You asked her on a second date and she didn't bite. She didn't go on it. She's just breadcrumbing you along. [00:59:30] Speaker D: Okay, is that called the Nikki? I'm just asking why does that have to be called? I've heard you. Do you ask your dating style? [00:59:44] Speaker B: Wait a minute. [00:59:45] Speaker C: First of all, I learned that from you. [00:59:47] Speaker D: I didn't teach you that. I just told you about the word. So let's be clear. But blaine. I have another question. You said are you finished with the. [00:59:58] Speaker B: We got one more question. No, we got one more. [01:00:00] Speaker D: Okay, I'm going to let you ask your question first. [01:00:02] Speaker B: Okay. So is it truly a short king? Summer. [01:00:09] Speaker E: So short king, summer, short king any season can be for the short kings if you're confident about your height and you don't let it hold you back. So this was a trend, I don't know if you guys are familiar with it primarily on TikTok this past spring where they were talking about it's, short king spring. And all that really meant was it was the idea that short guys stopped worrying about their height and stopped letting it hold them back. And I think that is actually something that is harnessing its power. Like, women are less concerned about men's height and men are less concerned about being, quote, too short. And so I'm about it sparks because there's a lot of celebrities like Zendaya dating Tom Holland, for example. He's shorter than I think, you know, in traditional couple, you think the man should be taller. Yes, I knew that you were going. [01:01:07] Speaker D: To that's not the reality. [01:01:09] Speaker E: And ultimately, whether or not your partner is taller or shorter than you isn't going to have an effect on whether you most likely have long term compatibility. [01:01:18] Speaker D: Yes. Because if I'm trying to reach something values and having fun together, yes, it will, because if. You're not tall enough to reach something, and your girl got to keep reaching it. It's not cool. [01:01:32] Speaker B: He can have that perspective. He's 63, so he can have that perspective. [01:01:36] Speaker D: Okay. All right. [01:01:37] Speaker B: Six four. I'm sorry? He's six four. [01:01:39] Speaker D: Okay. [01:01:39] Speaker B: So he can have the perspective of because there's a wider range of women who are shorter than him. [01:01:46] Speaker E: Yeah, most 99%, probably. [01:01:49] Speaker C: And I don't think I could date a man is shorter than me. I'm four nine and three quarters. [01:01:53] Speaker E: How tall? Oh, you're four nine? [01:01:55] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:01:55] Speaker E: And you probably have 99% of men who are taller than you. [01:01:58] Speaker C: Yes. [01:01:59] Speaker D: And she steals to manage to find short ones. [01:02:02] Speaker B: I do not. [01:02:03] Speaker D: Okay. [01:02:04] Speaker C: I've never found a short man. [01:02:06] Speaker D: Okay. [01:02:07] Speaker C: No. [01:02:07] Speaker D: Okay. Nick, I won't go back to any. [01:02:10] Speaker C: Episodes, but okay, go back, please. [01:02:12] Speaker E: Okay. [01:02:14] Speaker D: What if your woman's shoe is bigger than yours? Is that an issue? Common dating days? That would be an issue for me. [01:02:21] Speaker E: Brought up to me. [01:02:22] Speaker D: Okay, I'm taking you to the next level. [01:02:26] Speaker C: These are his issues. [01:02:29] Speaker E: It would take a bit of time to even really find that out. [01:02:32] Speaker D: Okay. [01:02:33] Speaker E: Unless you look down and he has hooks for feet. [01:02:37] Speaker D: Yeah, he got little feet. He wear, like, a size seven and you wear, like, a nine. That's not a thing. [01:02:43] Speaker E: I'm tall. I'm 510. [01:02:45] Speaker D: Okay. [01:02:46] Speaker E: Even my guy friends who are shorter than me usually have bigger feet than me. [01:02:51] Speaker D: Okay, I hope that's the case. [01:02:53] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:02:53] Speaker D: Now, the husband does have a bigger shoe than you. [01:02:57] Speaker E: My husband does. He's taller than me, but he's six one. [01:03:01] Speaker D: It's going to work. [01:03:02] Speaker E: Oh, my God. [01:03:03] Speaker D: Feet height. It's going to work. That is it. That is the basis. Don't tell anybody, but that's the base. [01:03:12] Speaker C: What, a girl has to be bigger and he has to be taller? [01:03:14] Speaker D: Yes. Clear. [01:03:17] Speaker E: That is not true. [01:03:23] Speaker D: Could you wait and talk behind my back? Do it right in front of me. Now, I do have a question for you, somewhat of a personal question. [01:03:31] Speaker E: Okay. [01:03:33] Speaker D: Does the current Mr. Anderson, because I don't know his name, does he get tired of you trying to give him advice? Because it seems like it could be a little like it's only been a week. [01:03:48] Speaker E: Yeah, one week into our marriage. So far, so good. [01:03:52] Speaker D: Okay. [01:03:55] Speaker E: We started dating before I solidified my master class and a lot of my concepts and how I promote them. I didn't have my social media presence when we met, but he did a lot of the things just naturally, that I teach now. For example, we met at the gym. We met at a workout class. [01:04:15] Speaker D: Yes. [01:04:16] Speaker E: And that would fall under the category of what I call a high stigma environment. He did not ask for my number the first time we met. He introduced himself. I then knew who he was, and over the course of the next few times I saw him, we chatted, we connected over multiple things. He became confident that I was single and that we had things in common. And then he asked for my phone. [01:04:39] Speaker D: Number, so he a yes. Okay, well, I'm glad to hear. [01:04:48] Speaker B: And you just mentioned your Masterclass. So tell us about your Masterclass. How does someone get enrolled and what do you cover? [01:04:59] Speaker E: Absolutely. I teach my Master class live a few times a year, so I actually have one coming up starting June 21. It is a five week program, so we meet one time a week for five weeks live on Zoom. It's completely remote and anonymous, so if you're in the course, your audio and video is off and you're listening to me present. Each week we cover a different topic. The course is based around my five e's of Dating empathize Embrace, Embody, Engage, and Execute. So we go from leveling up and being your best self to how and where to meet women that make sense for you, and then going on executing on dates and forming relationships on your terms. So we cover the entire spectrum of what you need to get from meeting a woman to being in a relationship with her, all while being your authentic self. It also includes one on one coaching with me, upgrading your dating app profile, and being able to just ask me personal questions about your dating life. [01:06:04] Speaker B: Sounds interesting. So the person has access to you if they sign up for the Master class they have access to. [01:06:11] Speaker E: And that's really because I don't offer one on one coaching right now to men who haven't completed my master class. Because after years of working with men one on one and coaching men, I realized that the best way to get men where they want to be feeling confident in themselves, feeling like they have options and control of their love life, is to package it into this master class. I can cover the most ground in the shortest amount of time that way. [01:06:39] Speaker B: Okay, but after that, then they become eligible to sign up. They do for one on one consultation. [01:06:47] Speaker E: Throughout the five week course. They have access to me one on one as well via email. But then if they want to do one on one zoom coaching or specific style consultations to them that are more in depth, then we can work together one on one. Because I know they have that foundation and that base. So we're not going to waste time in the one on one explaining the nitty gritty details of what women want and how you're going to give it to them. They already know the basis. [01:07:14] Speaker B: So if you single out there and you can't quite figure it out, you got to hit up Dating by Blaine. [01:07:20] Speaker E: Call me. [01:07:21] Speaker B: Call you? [01:07:23] Speaker E: You can find me on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube at datingbyblain, datingbyblaine.com and [email protected]. If you want to shoot me an email. [01:07:35] Speaker D: When's the reality show? When's the show going to start? 2026. 2025. [01:07:44] Speaker B: I see it. [01:07:46] Speaker C: I think 2024. [01:07:47] Speaker D: Okay. I have the vision. [01:07:49] Speaker E: Okay, I appreciate that. [01:07:51] Speaker D: Yes. [01:07:53] Speaker B: All right. And we'll go ahead and we'll drop the link to the Master class in our description. So if you're interested in the program, go ahead and click the link, and it'll take you directly to the Dating by Blaine website, and you can sign up for the Masterclass. Blaine, I want to say thank you. Thank you for your time today. We sincerely appreciate it. Nick CL. Anything? [01:08:18] Speaker D: Thank you, Blaine, for putting up with these other two. [01:08:20] Speaker C: Oh, other two. Thank you for setting CL straight. [01:08:27] Speaker D: Thank you with his toxic ways. [01:08:31] Speaker B: No problem. And, no, you're always welcome to come back at any point. Just reach out, and we might reach out to you. No problem. Once again, tell everybody where they can find you. Social media and how they can contact you. [01:08:45] Speaker E: Social media at datingbyblain. Contact me at [email protected]. Find more of my free resources and [email protected] slash resources. [01:08:57] Speaker D: Okay? Everybody go. Follow Blaine. [01:08:59] Speaker B: Everybody go follow right now. [01:09:00] Speaker D: Right now. I heard the buttons clicking right now. [01:09:03] Speaker B: That's another alert right there. So, Nick, tell the people how they can find you. [01:09:08] Speaker C: Well, as y'all know, y'all can find me on all social media platforms. I'm not blocked or banned right now. And neat cruz on everything. [01:09:19] Speaker B: CL, how can they find you? [01:09:20] Speaker D: You can find me at CL Two butler at Instagram, okay? And you can send me an email to my Gmail. [01:09:29] Speaker B: Email to your Gmail. To my Gmail? And you can find me at yoshinthebuildin on Instagram. So until next time, Nick, take us out. [01:09:39] Speaker C: All right, thank you all for joining in on the conversation. [01:09:42] Speaker D: It's your girl, Nick Cruz, CL Butler. [01:09:44] Speaker B: And your boy youssef. And we are out. [01:09:50] Speaker C: Thank you for listening to another episode of Relationship Status. Remember, you can catch us on relationshipstatuspodcast.com. Itunes, Google Podcast. iHeartRadio spotify Pandora, amazon Music, nobody grinds like us. And anywhere you listen to your favorite podcasts if you would like to join the conversation or leave us a Dear Neek, email us at Re lstat [email protected], or call us at 843-310-8637. Follow us on Facebook at Relationshipstatus podcast on Instagram and Twitter at relstat podcast. And don't forget to comment, share five star rate, subscribe and review. [01:10:31] Speaker B: The relationship status podcast is sponsored by Unfiltered. Whether it's hoodies, long sleeve tees, leggings joggers, or tech suits, unfiltered has what you need to express yourself in any weather. Visit Unfiltered Forever.com and use the promo code RSP to get 10% off your entire order. That's unfiltered, forever ever promo code RSP. And remember, there's a science to being.

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