265th Date: “Men Are the Problem in Relationships? Our FIRST Podcast Episode Gets Heated”

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign. [00:00:08] Speaker B: Welcome back to Relationship Status. It's your boy Yousef in the building. And as you can see, V is out today. But this is a very special episode. Seven years. Seven years. We've come to you twice a week. Started off as once a week, but Nick, Ciel and I started this podcast a very long time ago and had no idea the craziness that would ensue, the many different meaningful conversations that we would have have, nor the many guests that we would have on. All we knew is we had an idea concept of conversation about relationships from three people who had their different views on relationships. And that's what we did over the past seven years. This is our anniversary. And the episode that you're about to watch is the very first recording of the Relationship Status podcast. It was it. It's never been heard, not even by Nick or Ciel. It is probably one of the best episodes that was ever done of the show. It's actually the very first recording before the podcast was even named. So happy anniversary to us, the Relationship Status podcast. And we hope that you enjoy. [00:01:15] Speaker C: She agreed with Men are at fault when a relationship fails. [00:01:24] Speaker A: We usually are. Percentage wise we are. We're not always. It's not 100%, but we always are [00:01:34] Speaker C: how you always are. [00:01:36] Speaker A: But not always because they're always outliers, they're always people. They're the LeBron Jameses of the world, the Oprah Winfrey's of the world. Then there's just kind of common people. And amongst commoners, men are usually the problem. I see not being creditable, creditable or maybe cheaters or just really don't know who they are dating. Sometimes we come in trying to save a woman, but our save package only is about 90 days. So what do you do two years down the road when she knows your habits, routines, who you are, what do you do then when you're not who you was the first 90 days? I don't think men do a very good job of putting themselves first. [00:02:28] Speaker C: I agree. I don't think so. I think men don't allow themselves time to heal from any situation. [00:02:34] Speaker A: You don't think so? [00:02:35] Speaker C: Mm, mm. [00:02:36] Speaker A: What do you think they do? Just get under a new body, get on top of a new body. [00:02:39] Speaker C: They're so used to people telling them that they can't have emotions and they can't cry and they, they can't be weak, so they kind of just cover it up and just keep going, keep moving on. [00:02:52] Speaker A: Well, I'm a non crier. I think I had two cries on Record. I think you can cry. Yeah, I wouldn't personally do it. [00:03:09] Speaker C: Why? [00:03:12] Speaker A: I was raised in a different time. Different time, 70s, 80s. It was really not okay. [00:03:24] Speaker C: Well, in the 90s, it wasn't either. [00:03:27] Speaker A: I'm just. When I was raised, I was a young adult in the 90s, so I kind of carried over what I learned. I didn't learn it from the 90s. I probably learned it more from the late 70s, 80s, 80s, cuz. And you just wasn't. It was about being tough, being a man's man. [00:03:45] Speaker C: It was considered weak. [00:03:46] Speaker A: It was considered weak. [00:03:48] Speaker C: So that has. [00:03:49] Speaker A: It still is. There is. There's still a weak factor. If you cry too often. [00:03:54] Speaker C: I like a man that cries. [00:03:56] Speaker A: No, you don't. [00:03:57] Speaker B: Not often. [00:03:57] Speaker A: No, you don't. [00:03:58] Speaker B: A man who's always crying. [00:03:59] Speaker A: No, not always crying, but whole second, it's. It's valid to him when he cries. But you be like, you cried yesterday. [00:04:07] Speaker C: I mean, it depends on what he's crying about. [00:04:09] Speaker A: Oh, really? But I was raised in a different time and some of those values have carried over. But I don't think we can listen to women when it comes to that. [00:04:22] Speaker C: I agree. [00:04:23] Speaker A: Cause y' all will say there's nothing to cry about. And maybe something really hurt me today. [00:04:28] Speaker C: No, it's. I mean, if something hurts you, you have to speak about it, you have to talk about it. You have to release those emotions. [00:04:35] Speaker A: What if I want to cry every day? [00:04:37] Speaker C: Then cry every day until you get older. [00:04:40] Speaker A: Do you think a woman is going to be accepted of that? [00:04:43] Speaker C: I mean, if a woman cries every day, a man is going to be acceptable of that? Women do cry almost every day. [00:04:48] Speaker A: Women. Men and women are equal, but not treated the same. [00:04:55] Speaker C: True. We weren't raised the same. [00:04:59] Speaker A: You can get away with stuff. Some stuff that men can't get away with. [00:05:02] Speaker C: And men can get away with a lot of stuff that women can't get away with. Like, for instance, women can't get away with sleeping with more than one man. Once we pass one, that's it. Our reputation is slaughtered. [00:05:18] Speaker A: But why do you want that? Why would you want that said about? You could. Because y' all even criticize women for sleeping with a lot. [00:05:25] Speaker C: Well, yeah, Other women do. [00:05:26] Speaker A: They do. [00:05:27] Speaker C: Women don't know how to stand together, so we break each other down sometimes. [00:05:31] Speaker A: Because it's a competition. Especially if you don't have a man. [00:05:35] Speaker C: Even if you have a man, it's still a competition. Yeah. Women love attention. Women love attention. And the number one women, that one number one woman that loves Attention is married women. Married women, yes, married women. [00:05:50] Speaker A: You don't think they get attention from their husbands? [00:05:53] Speaker C: I don't know what it is, but most single men say a lot of married women approach them. [00:05:58] Speaker A: Wow. I can't speak for this, so I'll be a little. You know, I don't. [00:06:06] Speaker C: But then again, a lot of married men. Men approach single women, you think it's the newness. [00:06:12] Speaker A: Cause sometimes you gotta make sure you still got your swag, you know, you gotta put it out there. You gotta make sure you still. Because no woman wants a man that no other woman wants. [00:06:23] Speaker C: Why not women? [00:06:26] Speaker A: There's no woman that wants a man that no other woman wants. [00:06:29] Speaker C: I do. [00:06:30] Speaker A: No. [00:06:31] Speaker C: Yep. [00:06:31] Speaker A: No. [00:06:32] Speaker C: Don't nobody have to want him. As long as he treats me right. He does what he needs to do. He works hard. I don't. [00:06:39] Speaker A: But you don't think that attracts women working hard? [00:06:43] Speaker C: Not a lot. [00:06:44] Speaker A: You don't think working hard attracts women. Women who want good men attracts them all day long. Women like nothing better to see you in some dirty clothes. [00:06:52] Speaker C: Women. No, women love. Women love to look good. [00:07:00] Speaker A: They don't want the man to look good. [00:07:02] Speaker C: They don't really care. No, I'm not gonna say that. I'm sorry. They don't care if he's hard working. They don't care if he has a great, great, great job where he has to work 12 hours and stuff like that. They care about, okay, he's a lawyer. Okay, I can go to these fancy Gullahs and things of that nature. I could be seen. I could be spoiled. [00:07:23] Speaker A: But what happens when that wears off? Because at some point that wears off, it gets old. Even if a man is rich and let's say he's taking care of you, at some point he's going to hear, well, all you got is money. It might be five years, 10 years, 15 years. But at some point, women like the money. Not enough. No more. I'm accustomed to the money now, so that's not enough. I still need more. Yeah. [00:07:47] Speaker B: What's next? Pretty much. [00:07:49] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:07:49] Speaker C: No, women pretty much just stick around for that. [00:07:52] Speaker A: Oh, they will stick around, but they still want more. Because we all know what women want. [00:07:57] Speaker C: Really? What? Please tell me, cl. [00:07:59] Speaker B: What is that? What do all women want more? [00:08:02] Speaker C: More of everything. [00:08:04] Speaker A: Of everything. You can be having dinner and they'd be like, I can't wait to go out to dinner again. You could be on a vacation for two weeks and be like, I can't wait to go on our next vacation. We're here now let's enjoy this. No, good point. [00:08:17] Speaker C: So we don't know how to enjoy the moment. [00:08:19] Speaker A: Most don't. They do enjoy it, but at some point it'll be like, I can't wait till we do this again. We ain't even. We haven't even gotten finished yet. So how are we gonna do it again? Let's get finished first. But all women want more. If it's good to them, they want more of it. [00:08:35] Speaker C: Yeah, well, is that a bad thing? [00:08:37] Speaker A: No, but it's definitely something women are allowed to get away with by moving [00:08:42] Speaker C: the goal line because we usually want more with that same person. [00:08:46] Speaker A: Well, that's cool. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but they want more. If a woman get a good thing, even if it's cake or a drink, she like, you know what? I'm gonna get this on Wednesday. [00:08:58] Speaker B: Or a white mocha. [00:08:59] Speaker A: Or a white mocha. [00:09:00] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm getting that again. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was good. But same way, though, about nothing is never enough for men, sexually or no. [00:09:12] Speaker A: What? [00:09:13] Speaker C: Like in all categories. [00:09:15] Speaker A: Oh, I had enough conversations. Like. Like, I'm cool. Like, I heard you the first seven times. [00:09:21] Speaker C: Really? [00:09:22] Speaker A: Yeah, I heard you. [00:09:24] Speaker C: No. Men are greedy when it comes to money. Men are greedy when it comes to attention. [00:09:29] Speaker A: Their money. [00:09:30] Speaker C: Huh? No, like, just getting money. Like men. Men are competitive. [00:09:35] Speaker B: They are. [00:09:36] Speaker C: And they even become competitive when it comes to money with women. [00:09:40] Speaker A: Which woman? [00:09:41] Speaker C: All women. If they feel like a woman, a woman is getting more money than them, they're gonna strive to make sure they make more money than her. They'll even kick her down to make sure they make more money than her. [00:09:54] Speaker A: Really? I think that's a weak. Kind of a weak man. Cause you can run your house and not make. [00:10:00] Speaker B: Yeah, I agree with that. [00:10:01] Speaker A: Not be the highest paid person in the house. [00:10:03] Speaker C: A lot of women don't. Well, I can't say all, but I will say a lot of women don't feel like you can run a home if you don't make more than them. [00:10:10] Speaker A: Oh, I didn't say you need to run the home. I said you can just make more money. I think the man should run. I think a man should be able to run his home. [00:10:24] Speaker C: Well, let me ask you if he's [00:10:25] Speaker A: 100% committed to running the home. And when you're 100% committed to running a home or business, you're gonna take care of everybody around you. So that woman shouldn't be lacking for certain things. Because I make 100,000, I'm gonna give You a hundred dollars a week allowance or. That's not even fair at all. So I think part of the problem is somebody has to be the head of a relationship. Unfortunately, a lot of responsibility falls on the man. So sometimes that makes you the head. Not because of money, just because you're willing to take on more responsibility than the woman. Because if there's a noise downstairs. What, you gonna send your woman down there to go see what's wrong? It's your turn. You're not going, right? Or is that. [00:11:15] Speaker C: No, I'm not. [00:11:16] Speaker A: Okay, There's a spider. Oh, you tell my. Oh, yeah, he's not gonna be able to tell you. I'm afraid. Go kill a spider. You're gonna be like, stop acting like that. [00:11:25] Speaker C: Yes. No, I. My last relationship, he was scared. He's very like, he has a phobia of spiders. [00:11:33] Speaker A: Okay. [00:11:33] Speaker C: I would have to kill it. [00:11:34] Speaker A: But like you said, your last. Not current. Not current, last relationship. So, I mean, I don't. So you think money divides men? Families. Men and women? [00:11:54] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:11:55] Speaker A: With the woman making the most money. Right. [00:11:57] Speaker C: We had this conversation the other day, well, I had this conversation the other day with some women asking them if they made more. If they were the bread winners in their relationship, whether it was a marriage or just a committed relationship. Would they talk with their significant other about making a large purchase? [00:12:19] Speaker A: How large of a purchase? [00:12:21] Speaker C: It could be anything. [00:12:22] Speaker A: Cause we should already have that established. You can spend $1,000. [00:12:25] Speaker C: Nope. Nope. [00:12:26] Speaker A: Without telling. [00:12:26] Speaker C: They feel like it's their money. [00:12:28] Speaker A: Who, the man? [00:12:29] Speaker C: No, they feel like it's the woman is the breadwinner. This is my money. I don't have to ask you if I can spend, if I can buy a car. [00:12:36] Speaker A: Is she committed to the marriage? Because I think vowels cover that. Like you should. It should be if you make the most money, it's not yours because you are supposed to be one. We are talking about married people. [00:12:50] Speaker C: Yeah, well, married or in a committed relationship. Living together. [00:12:54] Speaker A: Living together. That's my money. Just like it's your money. But if we are married, then we're supposed to bond as one. But if I'm not married to you, you're right, it is your money. So if you should advise me, especially if I have to help pay for it at some point. But you're right, it is your money. [00:13:13] Speaker C: So if you're married and you decide, hey, well, I'm the breadwinner, I'm gonna go out and buy a five thousand dollar car. [00:13:21] Speaker A: That's wrong. [00:13:23] Speaker C: That's wrong. [00:13:24] Speaker A: Man or woman. That is absolutely wrong. [00:13:26] Speaker C: Why? Because it's their money. They had that money before the marriage. [00:13:29] Speaker A: It's our money. Well, even if you had it before the marriage, once you get married, that's community property. [00:13:35] Speaker C: I mean, I agree, but a lot of the women felt like, no, that's my money. [00:13:40] Speaker A: No, it's not. Maybe they just don't respect the man in what? [00:13:44] Speaker C: A lot of them were single. [00:13:48] Speaker A: Do you think women are the reason relationships don't work? [00:13:51] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:13:52] Speaker A: You think so? [00:13:53] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:13:55] Speaker A: I really wasn't expecting that answer. Honestly, I wasn't expecting that plot twist. [00:14:02] Speaker B: You don't. [00:14:04] Speaker C: I know it's a big plot twist, but I feel like women. Women fail at communication. We think people know how to read our minds. [00:14:17] Speaker A: You do? I've met a few. [00:14:21] Speaker C: We're not good at controlling our emotions. [00:14:26] Speaker A: Well, okay, Okay. I like to comment about emotions. There's nothing wrong with emotions. [00:14:32] Speaker C: No, there's nothing wrong with emotions. [00:14:34] Speaker A: You just can't make decisions with them [00:14:35] Speaker C: based off of your emotions. [00:14:37] Speaker A: You can't do that. [00:14:40] Speaker C: Women don't know how to stand together [00:14:45] Speaker B: at all. [00:14:46] Speaker C: You don't know how to. No, we don't know how to stand together. [00:14:48] Speaker A: Why is that? [00:14:49] Speaker C: I have no idea. That's. That's a crazy thing. Like, I believe. I don't even know how to answer that. I don't know why we don't know how to stand together. Like, we can't build together. [00:15:00] Speaker A: Wow. [00:15:01] Speaker C: Like a lot of women in a household where they have daughters and sons, a lot of times women are more closer to their sons than they are their daughters. Like it is. It does become a competitive thing where women even compete with their own sisters. [00:15:20] Speaker A: Oh, wow. [00:15:20] Speaker C: Their aunts. And for. [00:15:23] Speaker A: For what? [00:15:23] Speaker C: Or just attention. A lot of times. A lot of times it. It becomes attention. Like, women love attention. I told you that earlier. [00:15:37] Speaker A: And you said they can't work together. They won't. Even if they're family. [00:15:40] Speaker C: Yeah. You know how many people like women? Women are like, they're unbelievable when it comes to taking up for other women, standing up for other women. We're not. [00:15:54] Speaker A: They don't do that. [00:15:57] Speaker C: It's hard. It's very rare that women will stand together and be able to stay standing together. Like, even girl groups, you can't see. A lot of girl groups fall apart [00:16:08] Speaker A: easily, you think because of just women not knowing how to get along. [00:16:13] Speaker C: I mean, different personalities. But, you know, as an adult, you expect people to have different personalities other than yours. I believe it becomes. Especially when it comes to a man, [00:16:24] Speaker A: you can bring men Divine women. [00:16:27] Speaker C: Big time. You can bring a man into a room of five women and they will fall apart really instantly. [00:16:37] Speaker A: So that's what's been going on with me all these years? [00:16:39] Speaker B: Damn, bruh. That's what it's been. That's what it's been, bro. [00:16:44] Speaker A: I didn't know. [00:16:45] Speaker B: You didn't? How you didn't know? [00:16:46] Speaker C: I didn't know. [00:16:46] Speaker A: I didn't know. [00:16:47] Speaker B: Oh, man. [00:16:48] Speaker A: I didn't know it was me, you know? You know now. And I must take responsibility for this knowing. So if it's five women in the room, I should just not go in. [00:16:57] Speaker B: Just don't go in the room. But see, you knew that, though. [00:16:59] Speaker A: No, no. You. [00:17:01] Speaker B: About you. No, [00:17:04] Speaker A: not about me personally. I didn't know that about me. No. [00:17:08] Speaker C: But women. Women, yeah. It sucks, but yeah, you bring a man into a room of. You could bring two women, three women, they're going to fall apart. [00:17:19] Speaker A: Is that just natural? [00:17:21] Speaker C: I don't know. Why is that natural? Why? It's normal for that to happen, but. [00:17:25] Speaker A: So is that why women sometimes cling to good girlfriends? Yeah, like a long time. [00:17:30] Speaker C: Like you've ever heard a woman say, I don't have any female friends, only hang around men? [00:17:35] Speaker A: Yeah. And I say, we can't date. [00:17:37] Speaker C: But yes, because, like, they don't know how to be. They don't know how to be good women or good friends to another woman. So instead of working on me being a better friend to another woman, I'm just gonna say, nah, I'm just gonna hang out with my male friends because they're less drama, they're less this. Like, I've even recently had a girl that I thought I could talk to. Just me and her. This conversation is just between the two of us. She went back to the guy was talking about. Talking about. I confided in her with and told him everything we discussed just so she can have his attention. Like, look, listen to what she told me. And so instantly was like, did he [00:18:26] Speaker A: came back and told you? [00:18:27] Speaker C: Yes, he did. [00:18:28] Speaker A: So all y' all snitches, [00:18:31] Speaker B: everybody? [00:18:33] Speaker C: No, but I mean, like, everybody. Our situation was public. [00:18:36] Speaker A: So y' all were. You and the young lady were friends? Yeah. Somebody you consider a friend? [00:18:43] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:18:43] Speaker A: Wow. [00:18:45] Speaker B: That's crazy. [00:18:46] Speaker C: It was just that easy because he gave her a little attention. Boom. [00:18:50] Speaker A: So did they end up dealing with each other? [00:18:52] Speaker C: No, of course not. He doesn't even look at her like that. Like. [00:18:55] Speaker A: So he didn't even have sex with her? [00:18:56] Speaker C: Nope. It was just that easy. [00:18:58] Speaker B: I mean, she put herself out there for nothing. She ain't even. If she ain't even get nothing out [00:19:03] Speaker A: of it, could at least have sex with her. [00:19:05] Speaker B: At least. [00:19:06] Speaker A: At least, like. [00:19:06] Speaker C: Well, honestly, I think he could. It's just that he doesn't. [00:19:09] Speaker B: He just. He doesn't. Okay. [00:19:10] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:19:11] Speaker B: I'm just saying, like, that's what he told you? [00:19:15] Speaker A: Yeah, that's what he told you. [00:19:16] Speaker C: Right? But I mean like before anything. [00:19:19] Speaker A: But y' all. Okay. Now, are you and the guy or you just been with everybody? [00:19:22] Speaker C: We're fine. What a lot of people didn't understand about our situation was we were friends before dating. So even though that failed, can that happen? Yeah. [00:19:34] Speaker A: Men can actually be a woman's friend? [00:19:38] Speaker C: Yes. [00:19:39] Speaker A: Maybe if they only not attracted to her. [00:19:44] Speaker C: He was attracted to me, so why [00:19:47] Speaker A: would he want to just be a friend? [00:19:49] Speaker C: We tried it and it didn't work. See, then y', all women. [00:19:52] Speaker A: Men and women just can't be friends. [00:19:54] Speaker C: No, we went back to being friends. [00:19:57] Speaker A: Okay. I just have a rule that if I saw you naked, I can't be your friend anymore. [00:20:03] Speaker B: Really? So you're saying. [00:20:06] Speaker A: Not that I want to. [00:20:07] Speaker B: So you're saying you can't. You can. [00:20:08] Speaker A: I can't ever sleep with you again. Ever. [00:20:11] Speaker C: I mean, in the future, if we [00:20:13] Speaker A: decide to open date, then yeah, we could be friends. But if we not really just going to be kicking it. You going to be with your man, I'm going to be with my girl. [00:20:20] Speaker B: We don't see. [00:20:21] Speaker A: Nah, that's weird. Cuz my lady wouldn't understand that. Well, whoever I'm deal with, or whoever the guy, I'm pretty sure wouldn't understand that either. Like, oh, we slept together, but. [00:20:30] Speaker B: But yeah, we. [00:20:31] Speaker A: That was a long time ago. [00:20:33] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:20:33] Speaker A: I don't. [00:20:34] Speaker B: I don't. [00:20:35] Speaker C: As adults, like, we do things when we're 16, 17, 18, but when you're 30 something years old, this pretty much a habit. [00:20:43] Speaker B: I agree with the whole smoking thing, man. It's like kissing an ashtray. Like, that's just disgusting. Well, that stuff gets in your clothes. [00:20:50] Speaker C: And then at the time when we were talking, he was still in school. He's like a professional student. [00:20:55] Speaker A: Okay. [00:20:55] Speaker C: And I really didn't see like any like, you know, I would ask him, like, what are you doing? You know, where are you going with this? What are you trying. And you really didn't have like a real answer. Okay. So I didn't feel like we were gonna be compatible later on down the line. [00:21:12] Speaker A: I think that goes back to something I've often heard and think myself that men date women thinking they're never going to change. And women date men thinking that they are thinking that they can change them. And that's. [00:21:30] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:21:30] Speaker A: Struggle. That's a war. [00:21:32] Speaker C: Yeah, that is. Because a lot of times you do go into a situation saying, you know what, I'm gonna change his mind about something. [00:21:37] Speaker B: Yeah. I'm gonna, I'm gonna get him to do. And he just never does. [00:21:41] Speaker A: No, I think that happens to women more than men, I think. [00:21:43] Speaker B: And I think the woman becomes disappointed by that. Like she becomes. Starts to get this level of disappointment. Like I thought I could change him into this. Is that on rather than accepting. No, because I think if, if we're accepting people for who they are. If you're saying, I'm trying to. If I go into this relationship and, and throughout the relationship, it's like, okay, well, I want to be me personally. I want to be a better person for the person that I'm with. [00:22:05] Speaker C: With. [00:22:05] Speaker B: I want to be the person that they want to be with. So I make changes for myself to make myself better in the process making the relationship better. I think some women go in saying, I'm gonna change this guy and the guy is okay with him, but they don't communicate that. But if the guy's okay with. If the guy's okay with himself, he doesn't see the reason to change or to be better. So in that sense, it becomes frustrating to the woman now who she knew what he was when she took on this. This task. You see what I'm saying? [00:22:42] Speaker C: A lot of women try to change to be with a man. [00:22:45] Speaker A: Wow. [00:22:46] Speaker B: Exactly. Like I. Like you said about the smoking thing. I've seen girls like start smoking. [00:22:50] Speaker C: Yes. [00:22:51] Speaker B: Because of who they dealing with. Because the dude they mess with smoke weed. Yeah. [00:22:58] Speaker C: Not I. Wow. Carry on. Wow. [00:23:03] Speaker A: So if a woman doesn't believe in something and knows a man is smoking weed per se, she'll think she can eventually make him stop or he'll stop for her. [00:23:12] Speaker C: No. A lot of times when it comes into things like that. [00:23:14] Speaker A: No, I'm saying women, women. Well, I'm just saying, let's say she doesn't join. Does she really believe? [00:23:20] Speaker C: Very rarely. Women don't. [00:23:21] Speaker A: Because if a woman smoked, and I'm not a smoker broker. I'm not. [00:23:24] Speaker C: That's disgusting. [00:23:25] Speaker A: That's a deal breaker. [00:23:26] Speaker C: That is. [00:23:26] Speaker A: And I think you got to know your deal breakers of your non negotiable. [00:23:29] Speaker B: You got to know your non negotiables. But a lot of people don't. A lot of People don't have non negotiables though. Yeah, or the scale. Or the scale slides. [00:23:36] Speaker A: Well, they don't have a constitution. They look. [00:23:38] Speaker C: No, when it comes to women, we're told your standards are too high. [00:23:41] Speaker B: No, I've been told my standards are too high. [00:23:43] Speaker A: By a woman. [00:23:44] Speaker C: Yeah, but you know why? Because a lot of men say, okay, I want this, I want this, I want this, I want this. And have nothing to offer. And it's same with women. [00:23:52] Speaker B: Okay, I feel like you just said, I have nothing to offer. [00:23:55] Speaker C: No, no, but I mean, like, is that a sneak? [00:23:58] Speaker B: This sounded like sound like shots fired. I didn't even know what happened. [00:24:02] Speaker A: Okay, so are you saying repeat that for me? [00:24:05] Speaker C: Women. [00:24:06] Speaker B: That's too loud. [00:24:07] Speaker C: Well, women are told that our standards are entirely too high. Like we ask for too much, we're looking for too much in a man, and we don't have that much to offer. [00:24:18] Speaker A: Oh, so you should. Well, I always lived under the belief that you shouldn't ask anybody to do anything that you're not doing. [00:24:25] Speaker C: I agree. [00:24:26] Speaker A: So if you're not getting better, you can't ask anyone else to get better. [00:24:29] Speaker C: I have had a man tell me, no, ask for more. [00:24:33] Speaker A: Ask for more, Ask for more. [00:24:35] Speaker C: He can have the basics in life. You deserve more. He should make more than you. [00:24:41] Speaker A: Now is this guy. Does this guy like women? [00:24:44] Speaker C: Yes, he does. He's actually married. [00:24:47] Speaker A: Okay, now I do understand asking for more, but that goes back to your point exactly. That's all women want. [00:24:53] Speaker B: That's all women want. [00:24:53] Speaker C: So maybe that's what we're taught. [00:24:55] Speaker A: What's the. There's nothing wrong with one more. But don't require me to work more to give you more. If you're not willing to give, whether that's just taking care of the home and staying home or even working more, because you shouldn't, you know, I don't know. Maybe I can't ask you for more than I want to do less. [00:25:18] Speaker C: True. [00:25:19] Speaker A: But I think some women have gotten away with that. Some guys have too, because they're guys who get over on women a lot. [00:25:25] Speaker B: Repeatedly. [00:25:26] Speaker A: Repeatedly. Yeah, yeah. They're actually users, which I was a little less aware of. [00:25:31] Speaker B: Oh, there's a lot of them. [00:25:32] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. [00:25:33] Speaker C: You was unaware that men are users? [00:25:35] Speaker A: I was unaware. I had a friend who was a user. [00:25:37] Speaker C: Oh. [00:25:38] Speaker A: So let me say that he's literally. [00:25:42] Speaker B: That's what he does. [00:25:43] Speaker A: It seems to be. I've been missing it. I thought he was in relationships. Nah, he's a user. Very disappointed. [00:25:50] Speaker B: But you know, and of course you told him that. [00:25:52] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, I told. [00:25:53] Speaker C: See, I love that. I love that you held him accountable. [00:25:55] Speaker A: Yeah, that's all she has. [00:25:57] Speaker B: She. She has this thing about men. Men do not hold other men accountable. [00:26:01] Speaker A: Well, it depends on the situation. But, but with him, that hurt our, that's gonna, that's hurting our friendship. I'm just not gonna be a part of that. But, but if I come into a relationship with a couple and the gentleman is my friend, I am on his side. I'm not probably not gonna ever tell you he did you wrong, but I [00:26:19] Speaker B: will tell him that he fucking up, [00:26:22] Speaker A: but I'm on his side. I am his friend. [00:26:26] Speaker C: What do you mean by it? You're his friend? [00:26:27] Speaker A: Like, if I knew he was cheating, I would tell him to stop cheating. I wouldn't assist him cheating. [00:26:33] Speaker B: Yeah. I wouldn't be a part of it, [00:26:34] Speaker A: but I wouldn't come tell you. Yeah. [00:26:35] Speaker C: Oh, I don't expect for a man to come, a man's friend to come and tell me that he's. [00:26:39] Speaker A: But if y' all beefing, anything, but if y' all beefing, I'm with him. Even if you're wrong, I'm like, yeah, that's my man. [00:26:45] Speaker C: Like, I, I wouldn't even draw. I wouldn't even pull you into it. No. [00:26:48] Speaker A: Well, you can get pulled yourself accidentally. [00:26:50] Speaker C: I wouldn't even bring up your name. There's no need in it. [00:26:54] Speaker A: Get out of here. Just get out of here. [00:26:58] Speaker C: No, a lot of times, A lot of times the man does. Well, who told you this? Well, who this and who that? That's a man. And they ask. [00:27:06] Speaker A: Well, women are telling. [00:27:07] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm not. You asking me a question? [00:27:09] Speaker A: My friend comes to me and tell me he saw my lady over there doing something. I'm not saying his name for nothing, cuz if you wasn't over there, nobody could come tell me that. [00:27:19] Speaker C: Well, what I have noticed that a lot of men, friends come to their woman and tell them, hey, hey, your man is doing this, you deserve better. [00:27:35] Speaker A: I'm not. I want to call them something, but I'm not. But I'm not telling if he's not. If you're not my friend, I'm not going to assist him. I'm not going to drop him off, I'm not going to help him. But I wouldn't. [00:27:48] Speaker C: All I, all I ask is that men hold other men accountable. You can, you can have your friends back because I'm going to have my friends. [00:27:53] Speaker A: What's it, what's accountable? Because like If I see the accountability, I'll be like, I told him. I told him to stop. [00:27:59] Speaker C: Yes. Like if my friend is cheating on her boyfriend or husband and I know she has something good. [00:28:06] Speaker B: Or girlfriend. [00:28:07] Speaker C: Or girlfriend. [00:28:11] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:28:11] Speaker C: Because see, girls are crazier. [00:28:12] Speaker A: Whoa. [00:28:14] Speaker C: I'm going to. [00:28:15] Speaker A: Well, first, women are crazy. [00:28:16] Speaker B: Wow. [00:28:17] Speaker A: Women are crazier. [00:28:20] Speaker C: Women are crazier. Not just crazy, they're crazier than men. Cuz men can be crazy too. [00:28:25] Speaker A: No, but. [00:28:26] Speaker C: No, if I had a. If I had a friend that was cheating on their significant other, I would ask why. [00:28:32] Speaker A: You would ask her why? [00:28:33] Speaker C: Yeah, why are you cheating? [00:28:35] Speaker A: That's a fair question to a friend. [00:28:37] Speaker C: Why, why. Why are you cheating on this individual? [00:28:39] Speaker A: But you wouldn't shoot her. No bail. Like, she was at my house. [00:28:42] Speaker B: Nah. [00:28:42] Speaker C: Oh, and I'm not telling anybody anything else. [00:28:44] Speaker B: No. [00:28:44] Speaker A: If he came to you and said, well, such and such. Such at your house was so and so. [00:28:49] Speaker C: At my house. [00:28:49] Speaker A: Yeah. You going to say no? [00:28:50] Speaker C: He's not going to get to me to ask me. [00:28:52] Speaker A: No, let's just say. Let's say he does get to you and ask you. You just. She just told me she was at your house. Are you going to say, yes, she's at my house. Okay. [00:29:01] Speaker B: Oh, I see. [00:29:02] Speaker A: That's valid. But y' all need to. [00:29:05] Speaker C: Because I need. [00:29:05] Speaker A: I need to have better. [00:29:08] Speaker C: I need to. I need to talk to her because. Why are you dragging me into that? [00:29:10] Speaker B: Don't put me in that. [00:29:11] Speaker C: Why are you pulling me into. To your drama? If you're gonna cheat, don't tell me either. Yeah, I don't want to be a part of that. I don't want to know about that. Treat me just as you would treat. Treat the situation for me, as you would treat it towards your husband, girlfriend, wife or whatever. [00:29:26] Speaker A: Okay? [00:29:26] Speaker C: I don't want to see it. I don't want to hear about it. Because me knowing about it and me being okay with it, just knowing about it and being okay with it and not addressing it to you and you like, okay, well, I'm gonna be here with so and so. And I know, know. I know about it and I'm seeing someone. Basically. You're hurting somebody that you don't have to hurt. You could just leave the situation. [00:29:48] Speaker B: You can just leave. [00:29:49] Speaker A: What does that mean, you hurting somebody you don't have to hurt? [00:29:52] Speaker C: Because if. [00:29:53] Speaker A: Do you have the right to hurt anybody? [00:29:55] Speaker C: No. [00:29:55] Speaker A: Or is it based upon how they treated you? [00:29:57] Speaker C: No, you don't have a right to hurt anybody. But this is going to blow over. They're going to find out that you're cheating, and that person is going to be hurt. I don't want to be an assistance to that. Like, I don't want to help them. [00:30:13] Speaker A: But you did help them. You shot us some bail by saying, nah, she was with me. [00:30:17] Speaker B: Yeah, she was with me. [00:30:18] Speaker C: No, we're gonna have a talk about that. [00:30:19] Speaker A: Oh, but you would stall him off. [00:30:21] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. Like, I don't wanna. I don't want to. Cause the negative energy. [00:30:25] Speaker B: Would you hit him with the. With the. The. What's that answer? Look, I ain't in it. Don't ask me no questions. [00:30:32] Speaker A: You might as well say, nah, she wasn't with you. [00:30:33] Speaker C: I ain't lying. You might as well say, nah, she wasn't with me. [00:30:37] Speaker A: If you say that, I'll be like, yeah, she was not with me. [00:30:40] Speaker C: But I wouldn't let him ask me that by himself. If he does come to me and say, hey, she told me she was at your house. Was she? Well, my answer would be, well, it's whatever she told you, then you might [00:30:55] Speaker A: as well say, she wasn't there. [00:30:57] Speaker C: No, because it's whatever she told you. Like, don't question me. Question your wife. I ain't married to you. [00:31:02] Speaker B: Like. Like the sec. The reason. Like I always say, the reason why somebody asking you. [00:31:06] Speaker C: I mean, like, people. [00:31:07] Speaker B: Because they already know the answer. [00:31:08] Speaker C: Yeah, but people already know how I am, and they already know. Do not question me about somebody else. [00:31:16] Speaker A: But what if he doesn't know that about you? [00:31:18] Speaker C: They do. [00:31:18] Speaker A: What if you just. [00:31:19] Speaker C: Everybody knows that about you? [00:31:20] Speaker A: Vaguely. Like, he doesn't really know you. You tell people that up front? [00:31:24] Speaker B: Yes. [00:31:25] Speaker A: This is the first time I heard this about you. [00:31:28] Speaker C: Really? [00:31:28] Speaker A: Yes. You have not. You didn't tell me that up front. [00:31:30] Speaker C: Don't question me. [00:31:31] Speaker A: Don't question you. [00:31:33] Speaker C: I'm big on that. If. Especially if a man questions me, if we're not married or even working towards marriage, don't question me about nothing. [00:31:41] Speaker A: Now, what does that mean? Wow, that's a whole new angle. What does that mean? You can't inquire. [00:31:46] Speaker C: Don't question me about anything. If you see a picture floating around with me and someone else, don't question it. [00:31:51] Speaker A: Don't question it. Well, what if y'. [00:31:53] Speaker C: All. [00:31:53] Speaker B: That's tough. [00:31:54] Speaker A: What, are you all kind of actively pursuing a relationship? Like y' all are dating? [00:31:59] Speaker C: We're just dating. That's it. [00:32:01] Speaker A: What's just dating? Me. Just dating means you can do what you want to do. [00:32:04] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm single until I am looking at marriage. Meaning that if there's no ring on my finger, if we are not talking about spending the rest of our lives together. [00:32:13] Speaker A: Well, let's say you after that first 90 days and it's going well. [00:32:16] Speaker C: And. [00:32:17] Speaker A: And there's a new picture of a shirt he just bought you. So he knows this is a new picture because you didn't have that shirt. This is a new picture. Are you hugged up with Johnny? He can't say, well, what is this? [00:32:30] Speaker C: A picture? [00:32:31] Speaker A: I know it's a picture, but it's a picture. You hugged up with this guy and his. [00:32:34] Speaker C: He's my friend. [00:32:35] Speaker A: Or on your thighs or something. [00:32:38] Speaker C: Well, first of all, I don't take pictures like that. And then it's not going to. [00:32:40] Speaker A: Well, let's say somebody else took the picture. I know you wouldn't do none of this stuff. [00:32:44] Speaker C: Oh, no, I would take a picture and post it. [00:32:48] Speaker A: Disrespectful. [00:32:49] Speaker C: I'll take a picture, post it. Because no one owns me. I'm. I own myself. [00:32:54] Speaker A: You can own yourself. So if he does the same, he [00:32:57] Speaker C: is free to do whatever he pleases. [00:32:59] Speaker A: Okay, but wouldn't that hinder you all from moving forward? [00:33:01] Speaker C: No. [00:33:02] Speaker A: Because if you're trying to build trust, because trust, trust is more important than love. [00:33:07] Speaker C: He has. He has to come at me that he really wants something a lot of people don't. [00:33:13] Speaker A: Only been 90 days, he hadn't even figured it out. [00:33:16] Speaker C: Well then like he. [00:33:17] Speaker A: Some cases, he may not even have had sex with the person. He don't even know nothing. [00:33:21] Speaker C: Then he needs to figure out what he wants and date. [00:33:24] Speaker A: So you have to know what you want to inquire about. Who is this person in relation to you? [00:33:28] Speaker C: I believe you need to date around. You do not need to date just one person until you are serious about actually having something long. [00:33:35] Speaker A: Okay, so what do you call it? You call that seeing each other exclusively when y' all become exclusive? Yeah, you can ask questions. [00:33:44] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:33:45] Speaker A: Okay, so what if he says, well, I want to be exclusive. Now what is that guy? [00:33:49] Speaker C: All right, so he like you. I don't. And the thing about being exclusive, like [00:33:56] Speaker A: you can't think about being exclusive. [00:34:00] Speaker C: Like it's not gonna happen in 90 days. [00:34:02] Speaker B: Being exclusive doesn't happen that quick. [00:34:04] Speaker C: I don't think so. [00:34:05] Speaker A: Well, you ain't made the right one. [00:34:07] Speaker C: I don't. I mean, just my opinion, I don't think it is gonna happen in 90 days. Unless. Unless he knows what he wants. Like, hey, it's gonna be impossible to [00:34:16] Speaker A: do it if you're Entertaining other people. You got to give me some moments of exclusivity to find out where we're going. [00:34:21] Speaker C: Well, a lot of people are confused of what it means. A lot of people feels like being exclusive is y' all are only focused on each other. [00:34:28] Speaker A: Focus on. What does that mean? [00:34:30] Speaker C: Meaning that y' all are just. Yeah. Y' all are not focusing on nobody else. You're not talking to anyone else. [00:34:35] Speaker A: Well, I may not be seeing any [00:34:36] Speaker C: of the attention is going to be on the two of you. [00:34:40] Speaker A: Well, this type of energy is only going to be giving to you. What's wrong with that? [00:34:43] Speaker C: Oh, no, I mean, there's nothing wrong with that. But then it goes into. You're not talking to anyone else. Like, it feels like, well, basically it's a relationship. But it's like, okay, you're trying. I feel like it's. You're trying to force something. You're trying to force something before you actually build something. [00:34:59] Speaker A: Well, somebody has to force the issue. Somebody has to say, I like you more. [00:35:04] Speaker C: I mean, yeah, a conversation has to be had, but I just feel like unless it's going. Because a lot of people, especially at my age, you start to. [00:35:14] Speaker A: That 30 ish. [00:35:15] Speaker C: Yes. [00:35:16] Speaker A: Okay. [00:35:16] Speaker C: You even at 25 ish. [00:35:18] Speaker A: Okay. [00:35:19] Speaker C: You're starting to get to where you're wanting a family. You know, you're looking at. Okay, because I. You're still trying to figure out your career. You're still trying to figure out what you want. You're still learning who you are. So once you figure out who you are and what you want, you start attracting that. [00:35:38] Speaker A: You. You don't think you have to go after that. [00:35:43] Speaker C: I think it was just come it like it's gonna fall in line. Like you're just. Yeah. You start running into it. You have to start surrounding yourself. [00:35:50] Speaker A: You have to make greatness happen. You don't just happen. You have to put yourself. Like, when you're the right person, it's easy to. It's easier to date when you're at least content with who you are. Like, if you out here confused, you know, you want to be a preacher one minute, a thought the next minute. Like, you can't. What are you going to attract? The range is too wide. [00:36:15] Speaker C: No, I think you have to. You. You have to know who you are. And once you learn who you are, you're going to attract other individuals that want the same thing that you want. And so once you attract that individual and y' all have that communicate that type of communication and that bond, then it's like, you know what? I see this long term. [00:36:34] Speaker A: So if you keep running into sorry men, that means you're a sorry woman. [00:36:37] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:36:37] Speaker A: Or vice versa. [00:36:38] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:36:39] Speaker A: Wow. That's a little controversial statement you're making. That. Okay. I believe. I didn't say that. [00:36:47] Speaker C: I. I believe that. I believe if you keep running into sorry men, it's because of the type of woman. The type of woman you are. [00:36:55] Speaker A: Wow. [00:36:56] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:36:56] Speaker A: So something is actually a woman. [00:36:58] Speaker C: You need to sit back and reevaluate yourself. Why are you attracting these type of men? Is it the type of man you entertain as friends? Is it the type of man you grew up thinking that this is the type of man you. You, you know, you're supposed to entertain? You know, are you. You know what. What are your friends doing? Your friends with sorry men? [00:37:19] Speaker B: Sometimes that's the case. [00:37:20] Speaker C: Yeah. And this is the energy that you're taking in, and you feel like it's okay because your friend has been cheated on 10 times and doesn't leave, and you feel like, oh, well, you know, she doesn't leave, it's okay. Is that the type of energy that you have around you that's bringing those type of men? Because men, when. No, ain't men look at women that they want to pursue. They're not looking at strong women. They're not looking at. No, they're not looking at strong. [00:37:48] Speaker A: So if your last three boyfriends have all made. Been incarcerated or doing some, let's say, unsavory things, it's on you. [00:38:04] Speaker C: I don't know what they do is not on you. That's the type of. But that's the. That's the type of men. You. You have a pattern, okay? You have a pattern. You like men in the streets. You like men who do things that they're not supposed to be doing. You yourself may do things you're not supposed to be doing. [00:38:24] Speaker A: So that is a reflection of the woman. Because I do believe that when you're dating someone, when they represent you as well. [00:38:29] Speaker C: Yeah. So if a man went to jail for drugs, I mean, me being the woman that I am, and he gets out and he's doing the same thing, of course he's gonna attract a woman that does drugs. [00:38:41] Speaker A: Well, maybe not does drugs, but at least like the benefits. [00:38:44] Speaker C: Yeah, the benefits. [00:38:47] Speaker A: Cause it could just be money. She don't have to be on drugs. [00:38:50] Speaker C: More likely, any woman that is dating a man, that dealing drugs has tried it. [00:38:57] Speaker A: Yeah, I believe that. I believe that. I believe she may not always be [00:39:00] Speaker C: doing, but, yeah, she might do it socially. [00:39:02] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. She may do. Or even with him, could just, you [00:39:05] Speaker C: know, something they do together. [00:39:07] Speaker A: Something together. [00:39:10] Speaker C: You have to be mindful of what you allow around you. [00:39:15] Speaker B: Well, thank you for tapping into that episode. It was amazing. It brought back so many memories of the first day recording in that coffee shop where we were super excited about recording, and that same excitement. Spaz today about the show, all the guests, the host, everybody that has been here for this show since its inception, we want to say a heartfelt thank you and to keep supporting us until the next time y', all, we're out. Peace.